"Alrighty, you're all dolled up!" The makeup artist says as she spins my chair around to face my reflection. She did a great job, I'll give her that. My blue eyes are outlined in teal eyeshadow and black mascara, my skin shows it's natural beauty underneath a thin layer of powder, and my lips are coated in pink lipstick. I wanted to be simple with my hair so it's been slicked back in a tight bun.
I smile and thank her before making my way back to my dressing room so Vanessa can help me into my dress. We get it on with ease and stand there in the mirror admiring ourselves.
"You look gorgeous, Heather!" She beams at me.
"Not as gorgeous as her..." I mumble just barely loud enough for her to hear.
She gives me a pitiful glance before wrapping her arms around my shoulders.
"We're gonna have fun tonight! Don't worry about her.. Remember, moms will be okay." The last line hits me right where it hurts. Our characters might be okay, but what about Naya and me? We might never be the same, and it kills me. We haven't been to an event together in god-knows-how-long, and I don't know how I'm going to handle myself..
A knock at the door pulls me out of my thoughts, and Blake pokes his head in.
"Are you ladies about ready? The car is waiting." He is dressed handsomely in a trim black tuxedo and would look very mature if it weren't for his boyish hair and radiant eagerness to be attending his first award show.
"Yeah just give us a sec, Blake. We were just having a moment." Vanessa says as she shuts him out.
She looks at me again, grabs my hands and assures me, "Don't sweat it, sugar. You've got a hot date and a hot friend by your side. Just don't focus on her and tonight will be ahmazing!"
I nod in agreement, link arms with Vanessa, and head out to meet Blake by the car.
Vanessa was right. As long as I didn't think about Naya, I was going to have a great time! In fact she didn't cross my mind once during the pre-party or on the red carpet. It wasn't until we were all inside and seated that the horrible feeling crept back up again.
I knew Naya and I weren't going to be at the same table. I was ready for that. But as fate would have it, we were seated diagonally facing each other from across our tables.
She was so beautiful.
Everything about her was perfect. Her hair, her makeup, her gorgeous dress that exposed just enough to let the mind wander, and her smile. The smile that lit up the entire room. The smile that I longed to taste again.
I knew for a fact that not once during the entire show did she ever notice me or even glance my way. I only knew this because there wasn't a moment where my eyes weren't fixated on her. I felt an overwhelming need to talk to her. To break the silence between us. And when Amber called me over to take pictures, I knew I had my chance.
I tried my best to calm my breathing or somehow make it less obvious to Naya that my heart was beating so wildly, but I knew she could tell. I managed to weave my way around to where she sat without making a complete fool of myself.
We made eye contact as I lowered myself into the chair on her right and held it in a silence that seemed to stretch on forever. She finally broke it with a simple "Hi."
I felt my body immediately relax and, for a moment, feel as if everything were back to normal. It was everything I could do to keep myself from cupping her face in my hands, leaning over, and capturing her lips with my own.
Just as quick the relief came, all the negative emotions came flooding back in.
I was only allowed a shaky "Hi.." escape through my lips. I was afraid anything else I said, would push her even farther away. This was the closest we'd been since our fallout.. I couldn't handle any more distance.
"C'mon ladies, squeeze in!" Amber smiled, holding up her camera.
I leaned in and she leaned back. I felt her hair against my cheek and breathed in the spicy scent of her perfume.
"God, what I would give to be with you again.." I thought silently. Smiling through my anguish.
The camera's flash went off and just like that, my moment was over. To keep myself from doing anything I'd regret, I silently slid my chair back and left the table. I then made my way to the bathroom where I locked myself in a stall and let the tears fall. I choked out shaky sobs until my throat went raw and my eyes dried up.
I pulled out my phone and dialed Vanessa's number. It was off and went straight to voicemail. "Hey, ness. I can't do this. I'm going home. Tell Blake I got sick or something." I closed my phone and went outside to flag down a cab.
I went to bed feeling empty inside. I rolled over a ran my hand over the spot Naya used to lay, but that was empty too.