I don't know why I never realized it before. I didn't realize I was in love with her until it was too late. When she announced that she was getting married to Gibbs, my chest started hurting. No, not my chest, my heart. But I smiled for her, and hugged her. She told me that my support meant a lot, and I sat back down at my desk. I laughed while Abby almost squeezed the life out of her, but I wasn't feeling so good. "Tony." Gibbs was beside me. "You don't look so good. Go home." I just stared at him. "Home, boss?" Gibbs rolled his eyes and smiled. "Yeah, okay. See you around." I grabbed my gear and went into the elevator. Before the doors closed fully, Ziva slid in and stood beside me. "Are you okay, Tony?" The eyes which I once thought were full of a true-love were now filled with a worried, sisterly-love. "I'm fine Ziva, I'm just not feeling very good." The elevator doors opened and I left her standing by herself. On the drive home, I cursed myself. How did I miss the chance to express my feelings? Why didn't I realize it when I noticed her becoming flustered around him? Why didn't I feel jealous until now? Before I knew it I was home. I crawled right into bed, but I couldn't fall asleep. I got up at 6:00 p.m. and made a simple salad for dinner. I tried eating it, but after two bites I couldn't eat anymore. My doorbell ran. When I opened the door, it was McGee. "Hey Tony. You feeling okay?" I frowned. "No, McGee, I'm doing wonderful." He apologized and walked in. "Oh, did interrupt you?" He looked at my barely touched plate. "No, I'm not hungry. Can I ask you something?" McGee nodded. "Why are you here?" McGee sat down. "I just thought if you wanted to talk to me, you could." I laughed. "I'm flattered you thought of me, Timmy..." McGee just looked at me. I sighed. "I'm fine, McGee. But, Ziva marrying Gibbs is... well, it makes me feel weird." I sat down next to him. "It's like my father marrying my sister." McGee nodded in agreement, but then tilted his head. "Except Ziva's not a sister to you anymore, is she?" I blinked at him. "How did you know that?" He paused. "I saw your face when she told us about her and Gibbs. Sorry Tony, but you guys can come in now." I was confused until Ziva and Tony came in. Abby started telling some stories, but I didn't really listen. The whole time I was trying not to think about Ziva, who just stared at me. After she finished her stories, they left. I got into bed and fell asleep almost immediately. I ran on auto pilot for the next few weeks, until the fact that Ziva was actually getting married to Gibbs became unbearable. That night I sat, looking at pictures of the two of us, and then I saw my weapon lying on the bedside table. I found a pen, and scribbled on the picture I took of her in Paris, and wrote, "Ziva. I love you and this isn't your fault." I reached over, grabbed my gun, and shot myself.