I don't own Parks and Recreation and never will. No copyright infringement intended.
As soon as he left Ron and Diane alone in the office, Andy took off towards Ann's to tell her what had happened. He nearly ended up skidding into the door, but stopped himself just in time and was out of breath when he went in. Ann frowned when she saw him. "What's up with you?"
"I know who it is!"
"You know who what is?"
Andy took a deep breath and tried to calm himself down. He lifted his head up and stared at her. "It's Ron's girlfriend Diane that's pregnant. I was just in Ron's office and she came in and told him she had to talk to him privately."
Her mouth dropped open. "Are you kidding me right now?"
He shook his head. "It does make sense, though, right? It's Ron's cabin and his girlfriend."
"Holy fuck. I cannot believe Ron Swanson is going to be a father. He's going to have a baby. Kinda jealous, though. Should be me pregnant." She sulked a little bit before Andy awkwardly patted her on the shoulder.
Meanwhile, Diane sighed and nervously smiled at her boyfriend after telling him the news. "So what do you say?" This baby may have been an accident and she wasn't sure how Ron was going to react, but she wanted it.
Ron was still in shock and couldn't get past the words "I'm pregnant". He hadn't even had a scare with either of his ex-wives and he was caught totally over guard. "Pregnant," he repeated.
She rolled her eyes. "Yes, Ron, pregnant. You knocked me up." Diane tried to calm herself down because she knew her boyfriend wouldn't react well and this was definitely shocking news. She had to give him time to come to terms with it.
He was still trying to wrap his head around it. He was going to be a father. That was something he had never expected or even really wanted. Nearly five minutes later Ron sighed and finally spoke again. He still hadn't come to terms with the pregnancy yet, but he knew what he had to – no, wanted – to do. "I'm going to be there for you and help you raise this child. It is a Swanson after all."
Previously ready to bolt, Diane's face softened and she smiled at her boyfriend. "I'm glad. Now how are we supposed to handle the living situation? We're together and having two things of everything sounds kinda stupid."
"Now, let me ask again if you're sure you're pregnant." Ron just wanted to hear it again.
She glared at him. "After the pregnancy test was positive, I made an appointment with my doctor and he confirmed. I wouldn't have told you if I wasn't one hundred percent sure. So what do you say?"
"I'll move in with you and the girls. That works for me. Two of everything would be too much. And I will make the crib."
Diane was so relieved that he wasn't mad that she nearly burst into tears (fucking hormones already). Instead, she settled for leaning over and kissing him. "I love you."
"I love you, too, Diane." He got up to show Diane out and was not at all surprised to find Andy and Ann on the other side of the door, trying to pretend like they hadn't been listening to the conversation.
"Congratulations, you two!" Despite her own bitterness at the fact that she wasn't pregnant yet, Ann was happy for them so she hugged the two.
"Yeah, congrats! Nice one, Ron." Andy let out oomph when Ann elbowed him in the stomach.
"I'll see you tonight," Ron promised before he kissed his girlfriend goodbye. He had a lot of thinking to do because he still couldn't fully believe that she was pregnant. This news had definitely thrown him for a loop. He had to make a quick trip home and work on something.
A few hours later, he showed up at Diane's house. The girls were watching TV so the couple was left alone to discuss how their lives had just been changed forever. "Oh God, the nausea's back." Diane clapped a hand over her mouth and bolted towards the bathroom.
Ron debated with himself for a few seconds before shrugging and following her in. He awkwardly patted her on the back as he waited for her to finish. "You good now?"
She laughed despite herself. So far, Diane was surprised by how much he was handling this so far. She fully expected him to start panicking soon, though. She knew him enough to know that he wasn't going to handle this gracefully, but that was okay. This pregnancy wasn't happening in the most ideal circumstances. "Yes, I'm fine for now."
"Why do they call that morning sickness?" He was genuinely curious. Why would they so wrongly label something like this when it was affecting Diane in the evening?
She shook her head and immediately regretted it as the nausea spiked up again. After fighting it back, she answered. "I don't know, but I'd like to find them and question them on their stupidity."
Ron sighed and then beamed at her. She stared at him in confusion before he began to speak. "I may not have been expecting this news and I'm not sure if I ever wanted to be a father, but I will be there for you every step of the way. You're not going to do this by yourself, Diane. I won't let you. And we can do this."
Diane cocked her head as something came to her. "You're not thinking of proposing, are you? Because I don't want you to feel obligated just because of the baby. If we're ever going to get married, it'll be because we both want to and not because we have to. Got it?"
He nodded. "Noted." Ron didn't even have a ring so he wasn't going to propose yet. And when he did ask her to marry her, it definitely wasn't going to be because of the baby. It was going to be because they loved each other, as stupid and cheesy as that stupid.
Seven months later, Ron was in the delivery room (somewhat reluctantly) as Diane gave birth to their daughter, Katherine. He was immediately amazed and in awe at the love he felt for his little girl the second she was placed in his arms.
"How you doing over there, Daddy?" From her hospital bed, Diane watched her boyfriend and their daughter with a smile on her face.
"I've never felt this way before." When Katherine's little hand came out of the blanket, he gently took a hold of it.
She sniffled and wished she had a camera to take a picture of the two. "Incredible, isn't it?"
He nodded and then made his way back to her. Ron gently handed the baby over and then got down on one knee, leading Diane to gasp.
"I want to do this and it's not because of the baby. I want to spend the rest of my life with all four of you girls. Marry me?"
"Yeah, I will." She laughed happily when Ron slipped the ring on her finger and then kissed the both of them. He had to go tell everyone in the waiting room their news since he knew how impatient they were.
Ron and Diane ended up marrying six months later. It was hard for Ron to adjust to parenthood, but he gradually learned what to do and Diane helped. And for the first time in a long time, even though he was panicking and unsure of himself, Ron Fucking Swanson was truly happy.