"TIME FOR TEA!" the Mad Hatter exclaimed, his eyes a shiny emerald color. "We shall have tea on this very merry day and it shall be good tea indeed! Who here likes elephants?"

"Elephants?" the Door Mouse asked sleepily. "Elephants are much too large for my taste."

"Yes, I agree, Hatter. Pick something more Hare sized, will you?" The March Hare's eyes gave a twitch. "I'd rather not think about something so large."

The Hatter's face got a slightly puzzled expression before lighting up again. "I've got it! We'll talk about spoons!"

"Spoons! Why, I love spoons!" The March Hare jumped up and brandished his spoon like a sword. "I shall use my spoon to conquer the Red Queen. Off with her head!"

The Hatter gasped. "Hare! You really mustn't say things like that!" he looked over his shoulder, then under the table, then in his shoe before speaking again. "You never know who could be listening." he whispered.

The March Hare hiccuped. "Oh, blast it! Who cares who hears me? OFF WITH HER HEAD! OFF WITH HER HEAD! OFF WITH HER HEAD! OFF WITH HER BLOODY HUGE BULBOUS MONSTROUS PUMPKIN SHE CALLS A HEAD!" The Hare began to laugh insanely, waking the Door Mouse.

The Door Mouse looked at the Hare with bored eyes. "Perhaps one too many spoonfuls of sugar, Hatter?"

The Hatter cringed in response, for now the Hare was running in circles, knocking things off the table with his spoon. "Take that, saucer! And that, tea cup! Oh, thought you'd get away, did you? Take that!" And with the last "that", the Door Mouse and his tea pot went flying off of the table and into the sink where the Hatter liked to wash his feet.

The Hatter tried to calm the Hare down a bit. "Now Hare, really, there's no reason to be so obnoxious. Why don't you calm down a bit and drink some of this marvelous tea I've ma-"

Before the Hatter could finish, the Hare had splashed all of his tea into the Hatter's face and began shaking his bottom in the Hatter's general direction. Purposely disposing of one's tea was the highest form of insult, and the Hatter would have none of it.

The Hatter, his moods so easily triggered, began to turn. His eyes were no longer emerald, but a ruby red color. His pupils were dilated, giving him the impression of a very colorful, very scary shark. His face flushed, and his British accent was gone, replaced by a Scottish accent instead.

"Why you dirty no good sad excuse for a hare! How dare yee disrupt MY tea party! If I could send the bogies on yee, I would! Aye, I wish they'd take yee and give yee the beating of a life time! How dare yee think yee can march in here and ruin my tea party?!"

And with that, the Mad Hatter lunged at the March Hare, who had stopped laughing long enough to notice that the Hatter was no longer himself. The Hatter grabbed the Hare by the ears and thrusted him back into his chair.

"You will sit here and you will drink your tea, so help me, or I will bloody well cut off your head meself!"

The Hatter stomped around the table and flopped into the head chair. The Door Mouse squeaked from over at the sink. "H-h-hatter?"

"What do you want, you useless creature?" the Hatter growled.

"I-i-i think I'd rather enjoy a cup of tea, if you don't mind."

The Hatter, bless his heart, instantly switched his mood around, becoming once again the sweet yet slightly mad Hatter.

"Why, what a delightful idea, Door Mouse! One lump or two?"