Oh dear. Helen gets to writing a Live A Live fanfic. And surprising, it's not the one she was planning. She tries to write a different fic, and then this silly idea gets in the way. This is a part of my no-longer-secret "Director's Agony" series, so of course, it's Alternate Universe. You MAY want to beat Masaru's scenario for this chapter, as there may be spoilers in this, and it would be somewhat easier to understand.
DISCLAIMER : I own a bunch of computers, but that's about it. Everything else (you know, Live A Live) belongs to their respective owners. I'm not sure whom the Director belongs to, though. I'm just borrowing the characters and such to mess around with.
No flaming for the dumb AU idea, ok? I was actually debating whether or not I should put this up on Fanfiction.Net, and then I decided "Eh, it's only another piece of rampant stupidity, what harm can it do?".
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DIRECTOR'S AGONY - "EVERYBODY WAS... NOT QUITE KUNG-FU FIGHTING."
A Live A Live Alternate Universe fanfic, Part 1.
By - Helen Donaldson.
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Right from the start, the Director had the strange, niggling feeling that it was going to be a long day.
Dawn was still a long way off as the equipment was being set up to film a relatively beachy scene. The Director knew that today was the last day he had to finish the making of this scenario's script. Fortunately for him, they only had a few more scenes to film.
Sure, I get a whole week to finish this... the Director thought bitterly. It somewhat makes sense, but still, a week... the director in charge of Pogo's story got at least a month! Well, ok, calling Masaru's scenario thing a story is a bit of a stretch... geez, I wish I got Akira's story to direct. At least that is somewhat interesting and plotful.
The sun slowly started to rise. Taking a sip of his coffee, the Director glanced in another direction. "Okay, Takahara and Olbright! You're on in five minutes!" he screamed.
Rushing to the scene first was an extremely tall man with a severe lack of hair
and wearing only a pair of pants, thus showing off his tattooed back.
"Well, I know I'M ready!" he bellowed. "I don't quite know about
the other one, though."
"Ok... Odie Olbright is present..." the Director said, noting it down on a piece of paper. "I'd trust you to be the first one here.".
"Heh, Masaru's probably whimpering in his bed right now..." Odie said while smirking. There was a slight glint in his eyes when he had said this.
"For his own sake, he better not be..." the Director stated before taking another sip from his coffee.
Four minutes passed uneventfully, before a young Japanese man limped onto the scene. Unlike Odie, he had hair and wore a red bandanna around his head, a purple parka and a pair of mustard-coloured jeans. "Director?" he asked.
"Well, look who finally appeared!" Odie exclaimed.
"Olbright, go amuse yourself on the beach, okay?" the Director said, pointing in the direction of the beach. He then turned to the newcomer. "Okay, Masaru, what is it? I'm on a deadline here and we were supposed to start by now.".
"Well, yesterday, Max Morgan forgot we were acting and practically flung me into the floor..." Masaru said, flinching at the memory.
"I know that. I WAS there." the Director interrupted, unimpressed with Masaru's excuse.
"Can I finish?" Masaru snapped. "ANYWAYS, after the fight, my right knee started hurting really bad, and I saw the doctor about it, and... well, just read this.". The young man handed the Director a piece of paper.
"Let's see... 'Masaru Takahara is suffering from a sprained knee at this moment. He should be exempt from all activity that requires the use of said knee. Signed...'..." the Director read. He frowned in distaste at the piece of paper, also commonly known as a 'Doctor's Certificate'. "Well, this is just great. One day to go, and our leading man is injured! Just what are we going to do now?".
Odie looked up from where he was kneeling at the beach. "You could just have him be killed off..." he suggested.
"And have the person in charge of this project angry with me? I don't think so, Olbright..." the Director replied sourly.
"Then why don't you tell the person in charge to get stuffed?". The tall man turned back to the beach, and placed his left arm into the water, as though he was reaching for something.
"I'd get fired." the Director replied. "My only other option is working at McDonalds, and let's face it, this pays better.".
"Directing and McDonalds? I don't see the connection in that." Odie said, pulling a crab out of the water. He raised the arm clenching onto the crab, when...
"Odie, what the HELL are you doing!?" Masaru screamed.
Odie looked in Masaru's direction. "Smashing crabs." he replied. "It's rather fun, you should try it someday.".
Masaru looked unimpressed. "Well, it would be fun for you, since you're evil and all..." he muttered.
The Director, meanwhile, was not listening to the exchange between Odie and Masaru. Instead, he had walked into a small house nearby and borrowed the phone. As you may have figured, he was now talking on said phone. "Hello, sir?" he said. "Masaru sprained his knee and therefore I need an extension on the project... ... ...ONE DAY!? Sir, a sprained knee takes more than a day to get over! ... ...oh, so I've got to find a replacement for Masaru. Where am I supposed to do that? ... ...oh. That's real good logic there. Ok, that's all. Bye.". The Director hung up, rather miffed at the exchange.
"Hire another Jap", he says.. he thought to himself, walking back to the filming area. "All Japs look the same", he says... somebody obviously doesn't watch much Anime.. The Director had returned and was sitting down in his seat... just as Odie smashed a crab on one of the rocks nearby. "Olbright, that is DISGUSTING." he said in a harsh tone.
"He knows that, I already told him." Masaru retorted. "So, how did it go?".
"The good news is that we have an extension..." the Director said.
"CRAP!" Odie could be heard screaming from down at the beach.
"No comments from the Peanut Gallery, Olbright!" the Director screamed back. "Anyways, as I was saying before I was so rudely interrupted, the good news is that we have an extension, but the BAD news is that it's only one day and I'm supposed to find a replacement.".
"A replacement? And where are you going to find someone as great as I?" Masaru asked.
"Ego, Takahara.".
"Sorry." Masaru looked down at the sand, looking rather sheepish.
"Now, as for the replacement, I'm not quite sure..." the Director said, looking thoughtful. "The guy in charge of this project said to just find another person who was Japanese, but unlike what he thinks, not all Japanese people look the same...".
"AAAH! GET THE HELL OFF MY FRICKING FINGER!" Odie was screaming. The Director and Masaru looked in his direction, only to see Odie running around with another crab clenching tightly onto his finger, in a sort of vengeance for what happened to that last crab.
"He deserved that." Masaru said bluntly.
"I'll say." the Director murmured in agreement. "Now, back to the point... just where am I going to find a decent enough replacement for you?".
Masaru shrugged in response. "Well, there aren't many Japanese-looking people working on this project, so you may want to look elsewhere..." he murmured.
"Wait, this project... THAT'S IT!" the Director exclaimed, having had a revelation of sorts. "I'll be right back, people... and then with some luck, we can get started!". The Director then ran off.
Wait a minute... if he's going to hire someone from this project... Masaru thought, trying to figure out the Director's brainwave. Then, it hit him, much like what Odie is trying to do to the crab on his finger. ACK! This is NOT going to be good for what is left of my reputation!
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And thus ends part one of the first episode of "Director's Agony", "Everybody was... not quite Kung-Fu Fighting". I like that title. I want to establish some things, though.
Don't ask me why, but Odie Olbright strikes me as the sort of person who would kill poor innocent creatures in malicious ways in his spare time.
And Masaru strikes me as having a slight ego problem.
No crabs were REALLY harmed in the making of this. However, one was scarred for life.
I was planning on starting the "Director's Agony" series for quite a while. However, although I was originally going to start with a Live A Live based idea, it wasn't this one. The one I WAS going to write was "What if Cube's scenario was based on a Soap Opera instead of Science Fiction movies?". However, this idea lodged itself in the creative portion of my brain and refused to leave.
This is not something you really need to know, but my Spell Checker insisted on changing Odie to "Oldie".
I hope that sets everything straight. Part 2 will be coming soon… IF I don't forget to write it, that is. Reviews are welcome, criticism is welcome, and flames will be laughed at.