"When I am happy,
I feel your warm smile
In the bright sunshine.
When I am proud,
You press one laurel leaf into my palm
And kindly tell me to be careful.
When I am ill,
Your gentle touch
Restores me to health.
When I am sad,
The tears in your eyes
Let me know you understand.
When the world is too much for me,
You lovingly push me down
To be still and take the rest I need.
When I am fearful,
You cover me with a dome of protection
So I can do what I need to do.
When I am worried for others,
You read the letters I write to you
And offer your help to those people.
Apollo, when the Great Logos created you,
It knew that many like me
Needed someone with a heart
That is much larger than we of this world
Could ever describe."
-To the One Who Cares, Phoebe Lyra, 2002
Everything About You
Hermes was very unusual for a Greek god; therefore, he had always been an outsider. Tall, slender, beautiful deities are usually what come to mind when one thinks of Greek gods. Hermes wasn't tall. In fact, he was rather short. He qualified as slender, but not as beautiful; at least, not compared to his father, who in his early days had been blonde and stormy-eyed, or even to Hades, who had a mane of silky black hair and onyx eyes.
Hermes was often described as being elfin in complexion. He had a small nose, which contrasted sharply with the straight, long noses that were so often associated with his family. His eyes were almost too large for his delicate face. His mouth wasn't small, but his lips weren't generous like Aphrodite's. He didn't have the high cheekbones that completed Apollo's perfect face. His dark hair was lustrous but was often hidden beneath his winged cap.
It wasn't just his physical appearance that made him different. Most of the pantheon spent their time being serious. Laughter was rarely heard in the temple on Mount Olympus. The sounds of fighting were much more common. Hermes, however, enjoyed laughing. In fact, it was one of his favorite past times. He had a wicked smile and an impish sparkle in his eyes.
Hermes was well enough liked by his father, sisters, and aunts. His fleet-footedness made him a valuable messenger, and his quick tongue had gotten the family out of several tight spots. His brothers and uncles, on the other hand, weren't as fond of him.
Poseidon has a very short temper. The first time Hermes stole his trident was enough to ruin the relationship between uncle and nephew. Hades didn't have a good relationship with anyone in the pantheon, so his dislike for the messenger wasn't a surprise to anyone. Ares, the oldest of the brothers, loathed Hermes' relationship with their father. It was obvious that Zeus favored the messenger above his other sons, except maybe Apollo. Hephaestus didn't like Hermes' bubbly, happy-go-lucky attitude. The depressed blacksmith would have been happy to sulk in his workshop, but Hermes insisted on dragging him to 'family get-togethers'.
Apollo's contempt for his youngest brother was more complicated, and mostly spawned from the fact that the two were polar opposites. Hermes was a thief, and all of Apollo's beliefs were based on honesty. Hermes was impulsive, whereas Apollo didn't do anything without first thinking it over. Hermes was irrational and often unreasonable, and Apollo – well, he wasn't always rational, but he was usually reasonable. Apollo was tall, blonde, slender, and stoic. Hermes was short, dark, loud, and rash. They couldn't ever agree on anything.
Despite their differences, Hermes looked up to his older brother. He was everything that Hermes wanted to be. People adored and idolized him. He had a soft, healing touch, a golden glow, and a presence that was both intoxicating and comforting – when he wasn't angry, anyway. Which was usually the case when Hermes was around.
Hermes rarely had free time, but when he did, he usually spent it throwing discus. That was what he was doing one sunny afternoon when Apollo happened to walk by. Hermes, completely unaware of Apollo's presence, was just getting ready to release the stone disc when the blonde spoke up. "You spend far too much time playing sports, young one."
Taken by surprise, Hermes dropped the discus. It landed on the ground with a thud. "Huh?"
"You should use your time more wisely. Why not study the mysteries of the universe, or the people who live in it?"
Hermes stared at his brother, who stared back defiantly, as though daring him to argue. "I barely have any free time," the messenger finally said, placing a hand on his hip. "And when I do, I like to spend it doing things I enjoy."
"I understand that," Apollo countered in a tone that Hermes found maddening. "But you should spread things out. Meden agan."
Hermes groaned. Meden agan, which meant 'nothing in excess', was one of Apollo's favorite phrases. "If you say that again, I'm going to carve that phrase into your forehead," Hermes threatened.
Apollo's lips twisted into a smile. His expression clearly read, "I'd like to see you try."
"You aren't a violent deity," the blonde said. "And if you believe you are, then you are fooling yourself. Gnothi seauton."
That particular phrase meant "Know thyself". Apollo used it even more than meden agan.
The archer turned and left before Hermes had the chance to throw the discus at his pretty head.
Although Hermes often had the urge to throttle the older god, he also found himself watching Apollo for no particular reason. He found himself developing a strange fascination with the long, golden hair that was Apollo's trade mark. He had seen other Greeks with light hair, but never any with tresses that resembled liquid gold.
"Would you stop staring at my hair?" Apollo said impatiently on one such day.
"Sorry," Hermes muttered. "There's just something about it that grabs my attention."
Apollo sighed. "The entire universe is at the tips of your fingers, but my hair is what you decide to focus your attention on."
Hermes shrugged and smiled. "Shouldn't you feel honored that I decide to look at your hair instead of uncover the mysteries of the universe?"
"Honored?" Apollo snorted. "I think not. More like disappointed that a god would waste his time staring at my head."
Hermes flinched at the cold words, but almost instantly regained his composure. "You can hardly say that I waste my time, Apollon. I deliver your messages and make sure that the souls of the dead get to Hades. What do you do with your time? Sing to the trees and pine after beautiful nymphs who reject your offer of love?" Without waiting for a response, Hermes jumped to his feet and stormed from the room. Why was it that Apollo was reasonable and fair to everyone except him? Hermes couldn't think of anything he had done to offend the archer – aside from stealing his sacred cows, that is. But still.
With a heavy sigh, Hermes leaned against a nearby wall and removed his winged cap, running a hand through his messy hair. Many people thought that to be a god is to live a life of luxury. But it was far more confusing than one would think.
Hermes had been flying through the sky one morning, enjoying the warm day, when he happened to sense Apollo's presence. He glanced down at the earth, wondering what business the god of light could possibly have here. At first, he didn't see anything but trees. Then he spotted a rundown stone house, and knew that Apollo was in there. Hermes cocked an eyebrow, wondering what the archer was up to. There's only one way to find out.
Invisibility was a gift that his winged cap granted him. He landed in the house's courtyard, and slipped from room to room until he found the god he was looking for.
There was a large group gathered around a bed, upon which rested a sickly child. A man with dull yellow hair and a rugged face was applying a poultice to the child's chest. Hermes smiled, recognizing Apollo's disguise.
"Will he be alright?" an anxious woman asked Apollo. The blonde nodded, wiping his hands on a towel and then handing the woman a jar.
"Apply this to his chest three times a day. Keep him hydrated and have him a drink tea from root of ginger. He'll get better soon."
The entire room seemed to breathe a sigh of relief. The woman grasped Apollo's hands. "I can't thank you enough for your kindness." She then attempted to press a small bag of coins into his hand, but the archer shook his head, gently pushing her hands away. "I require no payment," Hermes heard him murmur in her ear.
After exchanging small talk with the rest of the family, Apollo began to make his way towards the door. "May the gods be with you!" the woman called after him. Hermes covered his mouth to keep from snorting with laughter. Apollo shot a smile over his shoulder before leaving the house. Hermes followed him, trotting to keep up with the older god's quick steps. When they were several yards away from the house, Hermes shed his invisibility. "Hail Apollon, the god of healing!" he cried out. "Nice disguise, by the way."
The blonde didn't turn around. "You know what?"
"Hm?"
"I think I like you better when you're invisible."
Hermes grimaced, but then sped up until he was standing in front of Apollo. The archer stopped in his tracks, scowling at the messenger. "Why's that?" Hermes asked impishly. "Can't resist looking at my body?"
Apollo raised an eyebrow. For once he looked rather amused. "I think I have better things to do besides look at your scrawny body."
"You don't have any room to insult me; not when you look like that," he said, referring to Apollo's disguise.
Apollo glanced down, sighed, and shifted back to his normal self. Suddenly, Hermes wished he hadn't. His eyes seemed twice as cold.
"I just don't understand," Hermes muttered to himself.
"Understand what?"
"How you could be so nice to that family, and then be so rude to me."
"I'm not being rude. I'm treating you like the annoying brat you are."
"Mhm – Some people would call that rude. Anyway, I just wanted to tell you that I think what you did for that little boy was great. I wish I could help people like that."
"Thank you," the blond responded, taking Hermes by surprise.
"You don't have to look so shocked. It's only fair to thank someone when they compliment you."
"I guess," Hermes muttered, and then in a louder voice asked, "What was wrong with him, anyway?"
"Pneumonia."
It meant 'disease of the lungs' in Greek. Hermes knew that this particular disease almost always killed the children it affected. More likely than not, Apollo had saved the little boy's life.
It was things like that which made Hermes admire his fellow god so much – even if Apollo didn't return the affection. Despite the archer being cruel to him, the blonde was kind to most everyone else. He had a healing touch and a comforting presence. He had a profound connection with the ones he loved – when they felt pain, so did he. Hermes remembered a day several years ago when he had stopped at the temple to deliver messages to his father. He had come across Apollo alone in the throne room. The blonde was staring down at earth. Hermes glanced down as well, and saw Arisnoe, one of Apollo's close friends, weeping over the death of her father. Hermes bowed his head in sympathy. When he looked up a moment later, he was surprised to see that Apollo's sapphire eyes were shining with tears.
When I am sad, the tears in your eyes let me know you understand.
Hermes could never remember where he had heard that phrase.
Several days after the pneumonia incident, he found himself flying over Delphi. It was then that he realized the phrase was part of a hymn to Apollo. It was also at that moment when had had the feeling of sudden understanding.
He was in love with Apollo.
For the briefest of seconds, a wave of happiness washed over the messenger. But it was gone as quickly as it had come, replaced by the sensation of falling in a vast abyss.
He knew that this would never be anything more than a one-sided relationship.
With that in mind, he returned to his room at the temple. He ignored the questioning stare that Athena shot his way as he slumped through the corridor with his head bowed. He threw himself down onto his bed with a heavy sigh, wondering how he, who the mortals called 'the luck bringer', could have such bad fortune. He buried his face in the cushions, wishing that his problems would simply melt away. He growled in frustration when he felt the foot of his bed shift with someone else's weight. "Go away, Athena," he groaned.
No answer.
Hermes shrugged mentally. If she wanted to sit there silently, so be it.
A few minutes later, he felt someone pulling at his winged sandals, slipping them off his feet. He heard a soft clunk as Athena presumably set the sandals by his bed. And then a pair of hands started tugging at his winged cap. Hermes sighed, but still refused to look up. When the cap came off, a hand ran through his hair comfortingly. Hermes thought nothing of it until the hand brushed against the back of his neck. It was then that he stiffened.
The tips of the fingers were rough.
They were the fingers of an archer.
Hermes gulped before squeaking out, "Apollo?"
There wasn't any answer, so Hermes sat up, coming face-to-face with a blank-faced archer.
They stared at each other for several moments. The first noise Apollo made was a small sigh.
"Must you always be so difficult?" the blonde asked softly.
"What –"Hermes choked on the word, and then cleared his throat. "What do you mean?"
Apollo tilted his head. His mouth was a thin line. "You ruined my plans. I tried so hard to stay away from you – to make you hate me and to try and make myself hate you. But you kept clawing your way back into my life, following me around like one of Artemis's dogs…"
"You aren't making any sense," Hermes interrupted, still feeling slightly breathless.
Even while he was making a face, Apollo was still painfully beautiful. "Isn't it obvious?" He continued without waiting for an answer. "From the moment I saw you in my dreams, I was taken with you. 'This little imp,' I thought to myself. 'Surely he is the only one with enough wit and courage to steal my cattle.'"
Hermes knew he was referring to the time he had foreseen the infant Hermes stealing his herd.
"And then you grew up," Apollo went on, looking pained. "And my feelings grew, as well. It wasn't just simple affection anymore. You grew into such a beautiful young god –"
"Me? Beautiful?" Hermes said incredulously.
Apollo nodded. "And you are the only person – mortal or immortal – that could ever get under my skin. I suppose I respect you for that." A wry smile crossed his face.
Hermes took a deep breath, and then joked, "So what are you saying? You can't resist my body or my wit?"
"That's exactly what I'm saying," was the quiet answer.
And then he was leaning forward, and Hermes' head seemed to explode with a thousand different thoughts.
This is everything I've ever wanted.
Is he really going to kiss me?
How can he be so beautiful?
Wow, look at that – I can count all of his eyelashes!
CONCENTRATE!
Apollo laughed softly as though he knew exactly what was going on inside Hermes' head, and his sweet breath blew over the messenger's face.
When their lips met, it was like the entire temple exploded around the two gods. The blonde's lips were impossibly warm. Hermes made a small sound of pleasure and gripped the front of the archer's robes as if to keep himself from falling.
Neither of them saw Athena peek through the doorway with a knowing smile on her face.
The kiss wasn't long, but Hermes still found himself gasping for air the moment Apollo pulled away. Apollo looked at the hyperventilating messenger with a worried expression. "Are you alright? Was that not okay?"
"No," Hermes gasped. "It wasn't 'okay'. It was perfect." He still had a death grip on Apollo's robes. I don't ever want to let go.
When his breathing was finally under control, he looked up at the archer with wide green eyes. "I thought you hated me," he whispered.
"I wanted to hate you," the archer whispered back. "I wanted to hate everything about you. But I couldn't help loving you." He let out a bark of laughter. "How could I not love you? You're perfect, Ermis. The music you play is more beautiful than mine. You find humor in every situation. You're incredibly clever. You make me laugh."
Hermes felt like his throat was closing. "Why didn't you tell me any of this?" he managed to choke out.
Apollo bit his lip, casting his eyes downward before answering. "You've seen how all of my relationships turned out. I couldn't bear for that to happen to us."
"And then," Apollo continued his story. "Athena found me and said that you were upset." His sapphire eyes softened. "When you're in pain, so am I. I decided that this dance had gone on for long enough." He paused, and then in the softest of voices whispered, "You weren't supposed to fall for me."
Hermes shook his head, gazing at the beautiful deity in front of him. "How could anyone not fall for you, Apollon?"
Apollo shrugged, lowering his eyes. "If everyone I loved returned my feelings, I would be happily married by now."
"I'm glad you're not," Hermes assured him.
Apollo smiled and pulled the smaller god into his arms. Curly black hair mixed with wavy blonde tresses. Hermes hummed, feeling content.
After a few minutes, though, Hermes began to sweat. "Um, Apollo?"
"Mm?"
"You are way too warm." He wriggled out of the older god's arms and wiped the beads of perspiration from his forehead. "That can't be normal."
The blonde shrugged, the corners of his lips turning up in a smile. "I've been like that ever since Father made me start driving the sun. I suppose it's a side effect."
Hermes let out a fake groan, throwing himself back onto the bed with false exasperation. "Great! Whenever we sleep together, I'm going to walk away with third degree burns."
Apollo bit his lip to keep from laughing. He leaned over Hermes with a cocked eyebrow. "I think you might be exaggerating just a little. Oh, and by the way…"
"Yes?" Hermes pressed.
"When I'm through with you, you won't be able to walk away."
"Um…should I be scared? Or are you just really ambitious?"
Apollo thought about that for a moment. "Hmm. Maybe a little bit of both."
Hermes sat up, grinning widely. "Excellent. Let's test out that theory of yours, shall we?"
Apollo smiled back. "As much as I would love to, the council is meeting in fifteen minutes."
"So? I miss Council all the time. And besides, in fifteen minutes we could do it twice."
Apollo snorted with laughter. "Now look who's being ambitious."
"Not ambitious. Just – um – impulsive."
Apollo shook his head and stood up. "Well, impulsive or not, we aren't missing the meeting." He picked up Hermes, swinging the smaller god over his shoulder and beginning to walk towards the meeting room.
Hermes found his face mere inches from the archer's buttocks, and smirked. "Mhm. This isn't compromising at all. Doesn't the rest of the pantheon still think you hate me?"
"They've always known I love you."
That took Hermes by surprise. "What?" the messenger demanded, squirming around in his attempt to face the archer. "You mean this whole time, I'm the ONLY one who thought you hated me?"
"If it makes you feel any better, our uncles and brothers actually do hate you."
"Yeah, that makes me feel a lot better. Thanks so much," Hermes muttered.
When they arrived at the meeting room, Apollo dropped Hermes onto his throne before gracefully taking a seat. They were the first to arrive, so Apollo leaned towards Hermes and whispered in his ear, "I promise that after the meeting, I'll make you forget you were ever upset with me."
"Twice?" Hermes asked hopefully.
Apollo smiled and nodded. "Anything you want."
A/N: To see the lemon, please visit my website, the link to which is on my profile.
Thank you for reading!