A/N: I tried, you guys. I really tried to stay away from writing Timeless fics. It had been easily at least a year since I had last written anything, but these characters kept talking and talking in my head and I just had to get the words out.

It's angst. It will probably hurt. But it will get better, I promise.

Also, couple of notes: Thank you so much to Lizzie ( lizziethat on Twitter) for being patient and yelling at me for my own good - even if it's "LUCI, GO WRITE. Thank you so much to Iambeck for her help with the title. This fic would still be untitled if it weren't for her and she only had a half assed summary to go on. She's a hero!

Depth Over Distance

The bottle of vodka she had taken from their pantry was getting lighter every night, Lucy thought to herself, as the liquid burned its way down her throat.

Alcohol was the only thing that could help her sleep these days. It seemed like seeing the man you love get back together with his not-so-dead-anymore wife was the tipping point in Lucy Preston's disaster of an existence.

Ha! Existence. Get it? A snort escaped her lips and she rolled her eyes at her own tasteless joke. At least she existed, unlike her sister, who had been erased from existence by whatever they had done during their Hindenburg mission. At least when Amy was around, her life wasn't this unthinkable chaos with her own mother trying to get her killed, but also promising that she's doing it out of love.

When Amy existed, she was married to her career and she had been content with her life. It wasn't super exciting, but at least she didn't nearly die on pretty much a daily basis and she didn't have a target on her back, courtesy of an evil organization that wanted to rewrite history. Time travel was just a pipe dream.

And her heart… well, her heart was still intact. She missed that life. She missed a world where her baby sister was living and breathing. She missed her mother… God, she missed her mom so much.

But most of all, she missed living in a world where she wasn't helplessly in love with a man she couldn't be with. A world where the pain from a broken heart was something that she had just read about in a romance novel, something intangible, not real.

Something that couldn't actually exist. Something that didn't make her feel like she needed to tear her heart out and throw it far, far away in order to stop the pain.

She knew it was for the best. She understood why Wyatt had to do this, she really did. The rational part of her brain had made sense of the situation, and come to the conclusion that him being with Jessica was the only possible outcome. His wife was alive again. Of course he had to be with her.

And the hilarious part was that she couldn't even bring herself to not like Jessica, because the woman was incredibly nice. She could see why Wyatt loved her so much and she understood. She did.

She just wished it didn't hurt so goddamn much.

Jessica had been with them for a few days when she ran into him in the kitchen, late at night. It was well past two and she just couldn't sleep. They had successfully sent JFK back to where he belonged a couple of days before and the pain in her arm was still almost as intense as the one in her heart.

It was bad enough that her brain wouldn't stop thinking about things it had no business thinking about, but the pulsating pain in her arm wouldn't let her find a comfortable position to sleep in. So when 2:45am rolled around, she gave up and padded her way to the kitchen to get some tea. Maybe some chamomile would help her relax enough so she could actually get a couple of hours of sleep.

She had just put the kettle on, her arm hanging painfully and uselessly to her side, when a noise to her right made her jump nearly a foot in the air. Turning around, her wound protested at the sudden movement and she groaned at the sharp pain around her stitches.

Wyatt looked at her sheepishly, hands in the air in surrender.

God, it hurt just to look at him.

How had she allowed herself to fall so hard for this man, only to crash into the ground so spectacularly?

"Jesus, Wyatt. Make some noise next time, will you?" She let out a breath, her good hand covering her galloping heart. "Almost gave me a heart attack."

"Didn't mean to scare you," he apologized, taking a step in her direction. "I was out there watching TV and heard some movement coming from the kitchen. Thought I'd see who was roaming around the bunker at three in the morning."

"What are you doing out here so late?" She asked him curiously. Shouldn't be be with Jessica? Making up for lost time?

He shrugged. "Can't sleep."

"Yeah, me either." Lucy let out a heavy sigh and closed her eyes for a moment. "Thought some tea might help. Want some?" She found herself offering before her brain could register what she was doing.

What the hell, Preston? Remember how you should stay far, far away from Wyatt Logan, she told herself, but it was too late. The corner of his lip was already doing that infuriating half smile thing and her heart skipped a beat. This was ridiculous. How could she be this affected by a simple smile?

"Sure," he nodded, smile growing, and stepped even closer to her, turning the stove off when the kettle started screaming loudly, the sound echoing through the silo. "Let me get this for you." He offered, taking the kettle from her hands. "How's your arm?"

She shrugged. "I'll live."

"You still taking antibiotics?" He prodded further, pouring hot water on the mug she had set aside. Lucy sat down at the table and nodded, grimacing when the movement pulled at her stitches.

"Doctor said I should do a full two weeks of the stuff. Still got a few days." She replied, focusing on the mug in front of her.

She shouldn't be out here at this ungodly hour making small talk with Wyatt. Just the fact that they had been reduced to this, small talk, already hurt too much. She didn't even know what to say to him.

Silence fell over them and she tried to drink her tea as fast as she could. The few times she stole a glance at him, she could see that he seemed to be struggling with their new dynamics just as much.

After what felt like an eternity, Wyatt broke the silence and the ever growing tension that seemed to pile up between them.

"I know this is an awful situation, Luce." He sighed and she finally found the courage to meet his eyes.

He looked so torn. She swallowed hard.

"You're doing the right thing, Wyatt. It was just… bad timing." She tried to force a smile, but she clearly didn't succeed, because he immediately reached for her hand. "Don't. Please." She protested, pulling her hand away, but he wouldn't have any of it. "You shouldn't do this."

"I don't know what I'm doing, Lucy." He confessed, her hand still captive in his. "It's not like. Like I can just turn it off, you know? How I feel about you."

"But you have to. For all of our sakes." She sniffled and cursed herself for not keeping a tighter lid on her emotions. "We can't do this. I can't do this. Please."

"I hate this, Lucy. I miss you. I miss us. You're my best friend in this godforsaken hell hole. What am I supposed to do?" His eyes looked so conflicted, so at a loss of what to do, that Lucy had to close hers to try and collect herself.

"You've wanted Jessica back more than anything for so long, Wyatt." She swallowed again, standing up. "You've earned this. You need to give your marriage another chance." Pulling her hand away, she circled around the table and placed her hand on his shoulder. "You deserve to be happy."

She was about to turn on her heels and leave when he surprised her. One second she was gently squeezing his shoulder, getting ready to leave and go lick her wounds in private, and the next she was in his arms.

"What about you?" He whispered in her ear, his arms tight around her waist, and she cursed her body when a shiver ran through her at his touch. "You deserve to be happy too, Luce."

A deep breath. That was all she could muster as a tear slowly made its way down her cheek. She allowed herself a moment in his arms. Just a moment of weakness as she tightened her good arm around him and breathed him in.

Swallowing hard, she gently pushed him away.

"I'll be fine." She tried to be firm and offer him a reassuring smile, but her voice shook despite her best efforts. He tried to reach for her again, but she shook her head and stepped away. "Goodnight, Wyatt."

She didn't look back when he called her name.

A bottle of vodka found permanent residence under her bed the next night.

The sound of her laughter was the only thing echoing through the silo.

It was late at night and they had just returned from an exhausting mission in 1776 just a few hours ago. Emma had jumped a couple of days before and they had spent the better part of the past two days running after her and the sleeper agent in an effort to not let them interfere with the independence process.

He had nearly lost his damn mind when Emma's bullet missed Lucy by barely a couple of inches. He didn't think twice before tackling his historian to the ground without a care for his own life. It was his job to keep her safe.

His Lucy.

God, he missed her.

It had been a couple of months since he had gotten that text from Jess, turning his entire life upside down - even more than it already had been. Two months since he had last seen Lucy's carefree smile directed at him. While she was more than courteous and friendly to Jess, Wyatt knew he had broken her heart; knew she was keeping up a brave face to the world, pretending she was just fine; but he knew better. He knew her.

And to be honest, her heart hadn't been the only one shattered when that text message alert made his phone ping in his pocket. He was elated that Jessica was alive, of course he was. She deserved another chance at life and he was so glad to see her smile and breathe and tell bad jokes just like she used to, and he was so grateful for this. So incredibly grateful.

But now that she was actually here, sharing the same space with his team, Wyatt had come to realize that he just didn't feel that all consuming love for her anymore. He would always, always love Jessica. She was his first love, his first everything and there was a special place reserved for her in his heart for all eternity.

It was just that… he wasn't in love with her anymore. She didn't make his heart beat faster or his breath catch in his throat when she smiled at him.

Not like Lucy. Not like his historian, his favorite person in the whole entire world. The one person who made him genuinely smile and who also had a firm hold on his heart, even if she thought he was better off with his wife.

How had it even come to this? How had they gotten here?

The sound of her laughter echoed through the silo again, making him smile. It was late and he had just gotten up to get a glass of water. He thought she was decompressing with Jiya, laughing away her troubles with the techie; he'd noticed they were a lot closer these days.

But imagine his surprise when he walked into the kitchen only to find Lucy - his Lucy - grinning at Flynn with a beer bottle in her hand. Wyatt swallowed a sharp intake of breath, but she heard him, anyway, her eyes meeting his for a brief second, before looking away. Her smile faded for a moment, but she seemed to immediately pull herself together.

"Hey," she offered a greeting with a small smile that didn't reach her eyes. Flynn turned around to face him and raised his eyebrows in question. "Want a beer?"

Her voice sounded friendly and warm and God, he missed her so much. But her eyes told him a different story and never had he wanted to say screw it and just pull her into his arms and never let her go more than he did right at that moment.

What had he done?

"I, uh. I just came to get some water." He replied sheepishly, rubbing the back of his neck. Flynn continued to watch him like a hawk, and Wyatt had to close his hands in tight fists to not punch the smug look on his face. "Thought you'd already gone to bed. It was a tough mission, Luce."

"Yeah, I just couldn't sleep," she replied quietly and shrugged, looking down at her bottle while peeling away the label with her nails. "You should go to bed, though. I'm sure Jessica is waiting for you."

Again, her voice was so warm and friendly and soft, but he caught the slight tremble to her hands, and had to take a deep, calming breath when Flynn reached out and covered her trembling hand with his.

Was this how things were between them now? Had he lost her for good? To Flynn?

Unable to get any more words out, he nodded and turned around, hightailing it out of the kitchen like a coward, finding it impossible to watch the hollow look in her eyes for another second.

"Lucy…" he heard Flynn's voice and stopped in his tracks. He knew he shouldn't, that he was invading her privacy, especially if things were different now between Lucy and Flynn. But his curiosity won out and he hid in the shadows.

"I'm fine," he heard her say, her voice catching. A beat of silence followed and then he heard a bottle slamming on the table. "I should probably get to bed."

"Lucy…" Flynn insisted, but Wyatt heard a chair moving. "You can't let him keep affecting you like this. This isn't healthy. You can't-"

"I said I'm fine." Her sharp voice startled him and he thought he should probably get the hell out of the hallway before she found him eavesdropping. "I…" a heavy sigh followed the suddenly exhausted tone to her voice. "I'm trying. I really am." She sounded hollow, just like her eyes had been, and Wyatt had to take a deep breath, leaning his forehead against the wall, willing the cold surface to calm his erratic heart.

He had done this. Lucy had already had a miserable year and he only contributed to it, adding his own heartbreak to the pile already suffocating her.

God, what had he done? Why was he still letting her suffer like this, dangling Jessica in front of her when he knew he wasn't even in love with his wife anymore?

Hell, even Jess knew it. They fought constantly these days and his love for Lucy was something that she threw in his face every single time, even though he kept denying it. Why he still tried to fool himself was completely beyond him.

The sound of footsteps broke him out of his self-pity party and he scrambled to get the hell out of that hallway as fast as possible.

Like the coward he was.

It took Wyatt another week to find it in himself to talk to Jess and put all his cards on the table. He kept seeing Lucy and Flynn hanging out constantly these past few days and he had almost convinced himself that they were officially a thing.

Jiya and Mason seemed to have welcomed the ex-terrorist warmly into the group, so it now felt like he was the outcast. Rufus wasn't so hot on Flynn, but it seemed that even his pilot friend was warming up to the guy. So even if he had already lost Lucy, it made no sense for him to keep leading Jessica on. It wasn't fair to her and he didn't want her to waste this second chance at life by being stuck in a secret military bunker with a husband who wasn't 100% there for her.

Their break-up was a lot easier and lighter than he thought it would be. Jess agreed it was the right thing to do and confessed that her heart wasn't in their marriage anymore, hadn't been for a long time.

And that was that. When she left, Wyatt felt lighter than he had in years.

He caught Lucy's eyes when he returned to their common room and he knew they all knew what had just happened. She didn't hold his gaze for long, but he saw her let out a sigh. Jiya immediately distracted her, though, and their moment was broken - if you could even call it that.

Wyatt really, really despised visiting any war periods during their missions. When the Mothership had jumped this morning, he'd felt a sense of dread, making the hairs on the back of his neck stand at attention. Emma had been quiet for almost a month, but according to Agent Christopher, their new destination was Boston, January of 1915.

Great, so they were going to land in a world in the middle of the first great war and they could potentially also freeze to death. Wonderful.

He listened attentively to Lucy's history briefing and watched her hug Jiya and Agent Christopher before getting into the Lifeboat. The three women had really bonded in the past few months and Wyatt was glad to see that Lucy had someone in her corner, even if it couldn't be him.

Ever since Jess left, he had been trying to win at least her friendship again. Even if that was all she could ever give him, he'd be fine with it. He was well aware of how badly he had messed up, how deeply he'd hurt her and broken her heart. He wouldn't blame her if she never trusted him again, but he'd be damned if he didn't die trying.

So he tried little things. Getting the coffee maker running before she made it to the kitchen in the morning; paying attention to the things she mentioned she liked to eat and trying his best to recreate it when it was his turn to cook; keeping her company when she stayed up late researching whatever Rittenhouse was up to.

He wasn't sure it worked - or if she even noticed what he was doing - but he kept doing it, anyway. So when they entered the Lifeboat that afternoon, he leaned forward to buckle her in, something she hadn't allowed him to do in quite a while, but he'd still kept trying.

To his surprise, she didn't slap his hand away this time and a small smile turned the corners of his lips up as their eyes met.

Progress.

His happiness was short-lived, however, because they landed in the middle of a snow storm, which effectively stranded them in the Lifeboat for hours. In all their time going on missions, they had never had to sleep in the Lifeboat before, not all of them, and by hour three, they were all going stir crazy.

When the storm finally subsided, it was almost morning, so they waited for first light to finally make their way into town. Lucy's best guess was that Emma was after Joseph P. Kennedy Sr., JFK's father. In January of 1915, he lived in Boston and was the assistant general manager of a Bethlehem Steel shipyard. His wife Rose was pregnant with their first son, Joseph Kennedy Jr.

The Lifeboat had landed in a deserted field just outside of Boston, but due to the snow storm the previous night, the track into town was a miserable, freezing tumble through snow. By the time they reached their destination, his socks were wet, so were his wool pants, and he was having a hard time to keep from shivering.

Looking at Lucy, he immediately shed one of the layers of clothing he had to wrap it around her shoulders, on top of her already thick coat. While her dress didn't have a huge puffy skirt, it was still a long one and it was now completely soaked from her knees down. She was visibly shivering, teeth chattering, and he had to restrain himself to not take her in his arms. Instead, he just put his suit around her shoulders and rubbed her arms gently, trying as best as he could to warm her up.

"Wyatt, come on. You don't have to do this, you need your suit." She protested, but he only shook his head, rubbing her arms again. "It's freezing out here, you need to stay warm." She tried again, but Rufus came to his rescue.

"No offense, Lucy, but you look like a human popsicle right now. You need this more than he does, trust me." His friend pointed out and Lucy scoffed, looking at Flynn. The ex-terrorist only shrugged, so she found Wyatt's eyes again.

"Fine, just for a little while." She relented and he let out a relieved sigh.

"That's all I ask." He grinned at her and they turned right on the street Joseph Kennedy Sr supposedly lived. It was still early morning, so they were hoping to catch Mr. Kennedy at home. "Okay, guys, keep an eye out for Emma. Stay alert." He instructed his team and kept his hand on his gun handle.

Just as they were approaching the house, bullets started flying. Wyatt immediately pushed Lucy behind a car and grimaced when he felt something burn on his lower abdomen as he shielded her with his body. Still, he kept his gun out and managed to hit two of Emma's goons, leaving the rest to Flynn.

The pain flaring up from where he'd been hit was making him see dark spots in front of him and he could hardly hear Lucy's panicked voice. The fear in her eyes was the last thing he saw before darkness engulfed him.

A/N: Love it? Hate it? Come talk to me on Twitter at lucianamangas!