This is as recent as a couple weeks ago, when Cassidy told Olivia that she was never going to bare her sole to him and she agreed. I was shouting at the TV yelling there is only one person you could EVER bare your soul too. Season 19 episode 14.
This is rated T for now, I may change ratings level later.

I own absolutely non of these characters. This is the first time I have ever taken them out for a spin. Thank you Dick Wolf for giving me something to daydream about...

...

When you're alone there's a very good chance you'll meet things that scare you right out of your pants there are some, down the road between hither and yon,that can scare you so much you won't want to go on.

Dr. Seuss, Oh, The Places You'll Go!

Sunday July 10, 2PM

Olivia was lost in her thoughts when Amanda attempted to bring her into the present. They were sitting together on a blanket in the middle of a park. It was a gorgeous Sunday afternoon and Olivia and Amanda had decided to bring Jessie and Noah. This was a rare occurrence. The job was all too time consuming. Their children were running around the blanket in the lush green grass. lost in her own thoughts haunted by past memories, Olivia seemed to tune the world out. Memories she had tried so hard to bury seemed to intent on resurfacing today..."Nothing good can come from the past" her mind whispered to her.

Noah arms stretched his arms wide, acting as if he was an airplane, he supplied the noise himself. Jessie who thought Noah hung the moon copied his every move running behind him.

"Penny for your thoughts?" Asked Amanda.

Startled, Olivia grinned. "I was lost IN my thoughts" she said sheepishly.

"That's the point of the Penny" Amanda laughed.

Olivia cautioned "I was thinking about my old partner"
"Nick?" Amanda furrowed her brow.

"No...no... " Olivia laughed.

Jesse and Noah plopped into their mom's laps, out of breath and covered in grass clippings. The smell of the outdoors and sweat lingered on him

"Mommy?" Noah panted as Olivia tried to pick the park debris from his curly locks.

"Can we have our snack now?" He asked while trying to dodge his moms prying fingers in annoyance.

Jesse Rollins, Amanda Rollings young daughter, squealed in delight with Noah's question. She was obviously accustomed to her mothers intrusion into her blonde hair. She sat content in her mother's lap, not minding her touch, you could tell this was an everyday occurrence.

They settled the children with their water bottles and snacks and sat back in their places.

"Do you want to finish...?" Amanda asked.

"I mean... I understand, if it's too personal" She finished.

"Hmm? Oh, no it's fine" Olivia reassured her.

"His name was Elliot right?" Amanda asked.

"Yeah... Elliot." Olivia nodded. She looked around. "This park..." She motioned around. "He would meet his family here for lunches, Dinners...just so he could see them... be with them he tried so hard to make it work. Both his job and his family. I always admired him for that." She spilled out half heartedly.

"Do you talk to him still?" pushed Amanda gently.

Olivia shook her head with a grimace that could only construed as a definitive "No"

She didn't think talking about this could stir such deep emotions in her after all this time.

"This was right before you joined us
Olivia picked at the grass next to the blanket.
"There was this shooting and... Elliot was involved. He was going to have to jump through all these hoops, IAB interrogations, Shrinks, the bureaucracy and red tape. He was just... done with it. With All of it...". She trailed off

"And?" Amanda prompted softly.

"And? She sucked in a breath. "I guess that included me. I haven't heard from him since." She stared at Amanda while she was having a internal war with her tear ducts. "I called, left messages, texted... I got the hint. I was apparently included in everything Elliot was walking away from."

Olivia took a deep breath and put a smile on her face always the constant professional. Her voice shaking. "That's enough of that! After Elliot, you came along, and then Nick shortly after that and Finn has been here ...forever! Everyone of you have helped heal the those raw wounds and I will forever be thankful!" She trailed off. Yes, she was thankful for these people and what they have become to her and her son.
Amanda Grabbed her hand and gave it a quick squeeze, "I'm glad we could be there for you."

They stayed at the park for another hour after the kids snack, spending most of the time at the swings and the slide. Thankfully Amanda had decided not to push the topic of Elliot any further. Olivia just wished she could get him out of her head. She would go months now without thinking of him. It took 7 years to get to this point but then there would be days like today. Filled with an onslaught of emotions with thoughts of Elliot Stabler and he would haunt her for most of the day well into the night...

...
July 10 Evening

Noah was Sitting on his bed, scrubbed and donning in a fresh pair of pajamas, free of grass clippings. How this child ended with grass clippings under his clothes? Must be a boy thing?
After the park they all had voted on pizza and went to a local pizza joint. Cheese pizza for all and a delightful 3 and 5 year old conversation. It was a full day emotionally as well as physically.
She hoped the fresh air and exercise would let her and her son sleep well. That small part of her mind also whispered that she should try to tuck the thoughts of Elliot away as well. She was hoping that a glass a wine after putting Noah to bed would help with that.
Noah was playfully bouncing his dinosaur up and down in front of himself, waiting for his mom to read him his story. Olivia stretched next to him. He began bouncing his dinosaur up her arm. She was tired, as soon as she laid next to him she could feel the sleepiness. She looked at the book in her hand and wondering if Noah would notice if she skipped over a few pages in this particular book.

"Mommy?" Noah piped up

" Yeh... Noah?" Olivia yawned.

Noah was still bouncing his dinosaur up and down, he didn't miss a beat.

"Who is Elliot?"

Ok maybe 2 glasses of wine...

TBC