A/N This chapter is a bit shorter than I usually do but it's sort of what I chose to do instead of a Summery here. It sort of sets the stage as to where our story begins. Essentially we're starting right after Jude left Tommy's mother's house while he was still locked up and continuing from that point only we're starting out on Tommy's side of things. I seemed to do that with my stories it seems since the show didn't dip into him nearly as much as they should have! Well I hope all of you who read my last story enjoy this one, and for all of you new readers out there feel free to check out my last story, The Reason. Enjoy!

Crawling Back to You

Re-cap/Prologue

"You're worthless! Worthless! Worthless! Get out!" Miriam Dutois screams, beating Tom's chest with a newspaper as he just smirks in an attempt to hide the effect her actions have on him.

When she moves out of his way he moves towards Jude with that same hidden expression saying, "Okay, you want to stay here?! Get up close and personal with my life, just like you wanted?! Have fun!" His words and tone are bitter and meant to cut as he storms past her and out the back door letting it slam shut in his wake as he heads off to the bar.

Next morning, Jude storms into the county jail, standing in front of the bars and he can see the inquisition before it starts, he can also see all the hurt in her eyes for all the things he'd done in the past twenty-four hours, and he's foolish enough to pick a fight instead of making up.

"What part of 'I love you' is so hard for you to understand?" Her face is so full of hurt and confusion.

"No see you love your prepackaged Tommy Q. Tommy Dutois? He'd never even make it past your front door." Inwardly he winces at the biting tone in his voice and the harsh words he chooses, but he believes in this moment the result is for the best.

"That's not true. This isn't you."

"This is exactly me. Tommy Q is a made up name for a made up person. And I'm tired of pretending, I can't do it any more."

"Oh. Right. Okay, so you want to stay here, drink and get in fights? Right, well if that's the real Tommy Q, I can't be with you!"

"Then I guess we're done Jude."

"Why is it always so easy for you to throw us away?"

He moves to the bars, touches her as intimately as he can before whispering, "Because I'm not good enough for you," and then backs away, nodding as though he's actually paying attention to her as she screams at him. The only things he can hear are his mother's last words echoing in his head.

The bail money had come through as she had promised that afternoon and he was reluctantly released and sent back home to his mother. Politely he let the nurse go, but kept the business card she handed him anyway, even though he's almost certain he won't use it. Emotionally he shuts down completely, Selena watches each time she visits as he seems to sink further and further into depression. He's going through the motions of caring for his mother physically as best he can on auto-pilot, even his cousin can see it. He doesn't care, he has no real interest in the life he's leading at the moment and he's all too aware of why.

They're over. He's still kicking himself for it, but at the same time he knows he's not good enough for her, not nearly good enough. Yet he can't fathom the idea of any other boy or man having her either. How does that work? That's just it; it doesn't. But his mind has been consumed by this inner battle that he isn't paying close enough to his mother's actions and before he can even register the situation the house is consumed in smoke. Choking he clears her out and calls the fire department. Thankfully they arrive before any real damage occurs, sure the kitchen is a wreck but it doesn't get past there.

He surveys the damage before talking to the EMT who's just loaded his mother into the ambulance. But his mind isn't fully in the conversation, just enough to know they're taking her in to check her out and that he should consider a home. Home; an almost foreign word for him but all it makes him think of is her. He nods as though he's actually paying any attention to the man in front of him in his uniform. He pulls his phone out the moment they're driving away and on auto-pilot still he makes the call, makes the arrangements for her to be placed in the best home possible in New Brunswick for her continued care as he retreats back into the smoke soaked house to pack his things. He needs to go home, to find home again. What will it take to rebuild his life and home? Can he handle what it's going to take? Can he do it? It's all up to her.