Okay, so i was fixing the story, making it easier to read, but they got all messed up, so now it is impossible to read.

So, if you wanna read it up to where it makes it still makes sense, go right ahead, i think its after chapter 8 that it doesn't makes sense.

Sorry,

Bree

Title: The Rain

Author: DevilPupSgt, Breanne

Summary: A new person comes to town, and changes her life, possibly having saved it.

Pairing: Rory/Jess, Literati. Possible Lorelai/Luke, Rory/Dean, and Rory/Tristan moments.

Setting: Jess doesn't come whenever it was that he did. Set two months after the make-up episode.

Spoilers: Up until Runaway, Little Boy.

Warnings: Contains suicide attempts/ cutting, adult language and possibly themes.

The Rain

By Bree

In a world full of Pain,

I find my release,

It's not your usual,

It simply just the Rain.

Chapter 1: More Pain Than I Need

The common Cure,

Slash your wrist,

Let the pain flow,

And simply cause More.

The rain cascaded down the window to the diner. Rory sat staring out the window as it poured. She was deep in thought, but not about what anyone would imagine she'd be in thought about. God forbid she think these thoughts, they weren't Rory like. If anyone knew her thoughts, they'd blame it on the rain that had been falling for the past three weeks straight. She was perfect, Perfect Rory. She was the perfect daughter, granddaughter, student, best friend, girlfriend, citizen, person. No one would imagine she had these thoughts.

The rain often reflected her thoughts, so, yes, the rain affected her mood, but in a positive way. It helped her see reality, helped the thoughts drift off. She pulled out a notebook and opened it to the first page. She hadn't read these words in a few months.

Add another thing to my list, I'm a girlfriend. Dean and I are now going steady. I cannot believe how happy I am over a boy. I mean, yeah, I've always liked boys, but they were never a concern. It was just, they were the same, except I have a chest and they don't. They were just my equal. But now, I'm attracted to him, and I can't help it. The first kiss was wow. I don't know if it was because it was just the first kiss, or if that will always be there, but I don't want to ask. I'll just wait and see.

'Just the first kiss, Ror.' She thought. 'Nothing like that lasts. But, I was happy. What happened?' She skimmed over everything she'd wrote, but only read a few select passages, outlining her relationship.

It was going so well, but I couldn't say three words! And Tristan doesn't help anything. I shouldn't like him, but I do. But I think I really like Dean, but I just can't say I love him. Maybe its just because I'm scared. Mom said she loved Dad and nine months later here comes Rory. I guess I'm afraid of the pressure of it. But, I'm not afraid that he'll want to sleep with me. I kind of have those feelings already, and I blame them solely on Tristan. Him and his damn innuendoes. Oh, well, maybe I should just say it… or get over him and go after Tristan, he likes me, I mean that kiss wasn't for nothing. Why'd I run away crying then?

'Because you thought you were cheating on Dean.'

I said it, I said I love you to Dean! I cannot believe it, I did it. Maybe things will be different now, we can go to the next phase of our relationship. I'm ready for it, I want it. I don't want to be innocent little Rory anymore. I want to be experience Rory. Hopefully Dean will want that, too.

'Nothing last forever, but somethings stay the same.'

Things are going… well they're going. I can't explain it. We're moving up a little, he now holds my hips, under my shirt while we make out, but it's not enough. I still want more and its been a month since we said I love you. Tristan left, so there's that opportunity gone. Damn. Oh well, I guess I can hold out for more.

'But, that was a month ago too.' She grabbed her pen and began writing.

Things still haven't progressed. I want a bad boy. I want some who knows what they're doing. I want some to take me and have their way. I want them to claim me and make me their's. But Dean won't do this. He's too afraid to break our perfect couple image. I'm sick off it. I'm sick of this town, I'm sick of that school, I'm sick of my family, I'm sick of the same boring life I lead! I need something to shake it up. I need something to change it. I need the clouds gone, metaphorically speaking, because I quiet like the rain here. It strips us of the Sunnyville, USA, appearance we normally have, and gives us the appearance of a heartless, cold town where one wrong move and they'd hang you. Sometimes I wish I could make a mistake, but here, there is no mistake I can make. It hurts to hate my town. I loved it once, but then reality set in. Maybe I should take this into my own hands and rid my self of this town, this world, this life. They'd never suspect it, and this would be the only record of my intent. I guarantee they'd say it was murder made to look like a suicide. They'd say this passage wasn't written by me, they'd say this passage isn't my hand writing, that it's slightly off, it was a copy. They would think Perfect Rory wouldn't kill herself. If they only knew. I know it would hurt mom, and she's done nothing wrong. But I still resent her for Dad's MIA. He's never around. This is my record of intent, so when I kill myself, they'll know, I wanted to. They'll know I wasn't happy. They'll know I wrote this. They'll know its their fault. Because it is.

Rory snapped the notebook shut as Luke came near the table. He filled her cup with coffee while relaying her a message.

"Your mother called. She's stuck at the Inn, Michel caught a cold from the rain, and the kitchen is slightly flooding. She said you can either go home, or wait here until she gets a chance to come get you."

"I'll go." She stood, drinking her coffee quickly, and slipped on her jacket. She forgot about her notebook and headed for the door. Luke had already returned to the phone to tell Lorelai, so he hadn't noticed it either.

The rain cascaded down the window of the bus he was riding in. He was on his way to the place he'd learned to hate the most as a child. It was too happy for him, which is why seven years ago, he refused to ever return, no matter how fun his uncle was. Keyword, was. He knew Luke was different. Since his grandfather died, Luke changed. He became broken. That was another reason he stopped coming. His grandfather got sick.

Now, though, he had no choice. He hated Liz for this. She knew he didn't want to come to this town, that he despised it, but she was too much of a flake to realize it. She couldn't tell her own son wasn't happy. He knew some parents couldn't tell because the kid played it off. He didn't play it off, he told Liz many times that he wasn't happy, and one day he wasn't going to be around, and she would laugh it off and take another hit of her pot. Liz sent him here to face his demons. You try to kill yourself, and supposedly you have demons. He didn't even try to commit suicide, she just actually saw him cutting himself. He didn't know she was alive at the moment, and took his box cutter to his wrist. She immediately took it from him and then packed his bag sending him to Luke. God forbid she take responsibility and find out why he was doing it. Nope, let's send him to Luke to find out.

The bus came to a sudden halt, and the driver announced they were in Stars Hollow.

'Great.' He thought. The town hadn't changed at all, not even the hardware store, which he knew was his uncle's diner. He saw a petite brunette walk out after talking to Luke and head off in the other direction. He headed for the diner. He pushed open the door, and dropped his bag.

"Luke?" He asked the man in flannel.

"Jess?" His eyes almost popped out of his head. The leather jacket, black jeans, chains, unruly hair, they weren't his nephew. His nephew was a once happy kid. Then again, Liz hadn't even told him why he was coming.

"Really? I thought I was Jimmy." He said sarcastically moving toward the counter with his bag.

"That's not funny. You can put your bag upstairs, then come back down and we'll, talk I guess."

"Whatever."

He walked to the curtain, and headed upstairs. He opened the office he once played in, pretending to be his grandfather. Luke hadn't taken the sign off the door, and that sent a wave of pain through him. Seeing the sign out side still, did too, but not as much. This was his office, they're favorite place to be. No grandma, no Liz, no Luke, no one but them. Now, he had to live in this place and constantly be reminded. He dropped his bag on the bed to left of the room, and headed back downstairs.

"Oh man, she forgot her notebook." He heard Luke say as he entered. "Hey, Jess, can you do me a favor and take this to Rory's house?"

"Who's Rory?"

"Lorelai's daughter- of course you wouldn't know. Just take it, go to the rooster and hang a right, it's the house next to the one with the gnomes."

"Do I want to know?"

"No."

"Right then." He grabbed the notebook and headed toward the rooster.

Rory saw a figure get off the bus, and instantly knew they didn't belong in Stars Hollow, well, the old Stars Hollow, the current Stars Hollow matched him. She entered the house and decided she was done. The notebook knew, and so would they. She headed to the kitchen and took out a knife. She leaned over the sink, slowly cutting a line across her wrist. She could feel the pain seeping out as she held her wrist in pain. The blood ran into the sink. She was content to die this way, but fate had another plan, as the doorbell rang. She grabbed a paper towel and wrapped it around her wrist. She could say she was cutting something and the doorbell startled her.

She opened the door with a false smile, while holding her wrist in pain still. Her smile faltered as she saw the figure from the bus standing at her door.

"Can I help you?" She asked as sweetly as possible.

"What happened to your wrist?" He asked, confusing her. Who was this person?

"I cut it." She replied simply.

"Intentionally?" She didn't reply, "Being a cutter can get you in trouble."

"And you would know-"

"Yes-"

"That I'm a cutter?"

"Obviously, you are."

"I was cutting something and the doorbell startled me."

"Yes, your wrist."

"What did you want in the first place, sir?"

"Luke sent this to you. Obviously, you left it at the diner." Jess handed over the notebook.

"You read it, that's how you know." She jumped to conclusions.

"Read what?"

"My notebook." She snapped at him.

"No, actually, I didn't."

"Then how would you know?" He grabbed her wrist, and removed the paper towel, then lifted his sleeve, placing both wrists next to each other. She saw cuts similar to her own cut on his wrist. "Because you are a cutter."

"Yup."

"It was only the first time." She pulled her wrist back. She entered the house, leaving him at the door. "You can come in." She called back as she entered the kitchen again.

"Why'd you cut?" He asked sitting at the kitchen table while she ran her wrist under the sink. She winced in pain, and he stood to help her.

"Cold water, numbs it." He turned the faucet to cold. She nodded mutely. "So?"

"Because my life is perfect." She said with sarcasm present in her voice.

"No need for sarcasm."

"True, I was being sarcastic, but I'm being serious. That's why. My life is 'perfect'. My mother and I are best friends, my grandparents think I'm the most responsible and respectful teenager they know, my best friend's mom thinks I'm the only non -Korean who is good enough to associate with her daughter, I'm the top student of my class, after transferring to the advanced private school partially into Sophomore year, while everyone else had been there learning from their freshman year, I have the perfect boyfriend, I'm the town princess, and I'm kindest person in the town. My life is just perfect."

"Sounds it." Her wrist had been cleaned since the third segment of her speech, but he held her wrist firmly, but not too hard, in his hands still. "What's wrong with it?"

"My mother acts like she's my age at times, and I have to be the parent."

"I know the feeling." She looked up at him, as she'd been staring at her wrist, and their eyes locked for a moment. She looked away again as the intense brown of his eyes captivated her. He had similar thoughts about her stormy blue ones.

"My grandparents are Hartford elite and think I'm going to marry someone from their world and make a great trophy wife and hostess."

"Don't know that feeling."

"Didn't think you would." She laughed lightly before continuing. "Lane lives her life through me and it gets annoying at times because she always wants details, even when there are none."

"That has to suck."

"It does. The students, especially Paris and Summer resent me. Paris because she had no acedemic competition before me, and Summer because she had no competition for Tristan's attention before me."

"Tristan, the perfect boyfriend?"

"No, the play boy who I ran away from crying after kissing the night the perfect boyfriend broke up with me because I couldn't say I love you to him."

"Sounds more like an ass."

"Yeah, well, I liked Tristan, too. But I thought that I would get sucked into his world, which I didn't want, and I didn't want to make my grandmother happy. I told Dean I loved him and we got back together."

"Why?"

"I thought if I told him I loved him that things would go faster, like we would go farther, but nope, we are a centimeter about where we were."

"Most people say an inch…"

"Yeah, except he simply moved his hands from over my shirt on my hips, to under it on my hips. Not exactly an inch."

"Is that what's wrong with the perfect boyfriend?"

"Yeah, it's been two months and nothings changed. I want more. I want someone experienced, it sounds silly, I know-"

"No, it doesn't. It sounds real. You want what you want, and not what you should want."

"I never thought of it like that." He didn't say anything just looked at her face while she continued talking. "Everyone loves me and doesn't think I'll do anything wrong, and I have to be at every town event, I have to make an appearance, I have to walk in the parades, I have to help whoever asks."

"Wow, your life sucks."

"Nobody else can see it though."

"I can see it."

Rory pulled back her wrist and grabbed her coffee, heading to her room. He followed, and they sat on her bed.

"What about you? Why do you cut?"

"Because nobody sees." He laughed slightly at the irony. He always pushes people away, but cuts because nobody sees him.

"Nobody?"

"My mom's a pot head. The only reason I'm in this god forsaken town I because she saw me with my box cutter."

"That sucks. She can't handle it herself?"

"Nope, she's letting Luke do it."

"You know Luke?"

"He's my uncle."

"Oh."

"Yeah. She wants me to face my demons, but doesn't realize that this town is my demon."

"How?"

"You know how the sign over Luke's says William's Hardware?"

"Yeah."

"It was my grandfather's. I loved it there. The rest of the town scared me compared to New York, but Gramps' shop, it was peaceful. Especially his office. We'd sit there and talk for hours. Nobody would bother us. It was just me and him. My dad wasn't around, so, Gramps was my father figure."

"My Dad's never been there for me either. Luke's the closest thing I have to a father."

"Jimmy left after I was born, he went to get diapers and never came back."

"Dad wanted to marry my mom, but at age 16, she didn't want it. She wanted out, and used me as her ticket. We came here, and Dad took a while to sort himself out, he still hasn't, not really."

"Okay, now I want to cut myself again." Jess exclaimed laying back on her bed.

"Does it get easier, like hurt less?"

"Kind of, but it becomes a habit, you feel the need to do it, so you do, no matter how much it hurts. But after a while you become numb to the pain, so you finally just end it."

"I guess I shouldn't do it, I mean, it leaves scars and all, and they'll see."

"You don't cut, I won't. We'll be a support system?"

"That sounds so corny." She laughed while laying next to him, her head resting on his arm, as he wrapped one arm around her shoulder.

"I need to stop. I don't want him to see."

"Me either." They sat in comfortable silence for a while. "I don't know your name." She said suddenly, looking up at him.

"Jess."

"Rory."

"I know."

"Luke?"

"Luke."

From there they found they had a lot in common. They talked about music and books, and he fascinated her with stories of New York. They talked for so long, they didn't realize Lorelai would be home soon, or that Dean was on his way over. They didn't care about anything, nothing but the two of them. Jess had absently been playing with her wrist, helping it circulate better, heal quicker, feel much better. Rory shivered at his touch, and found a feeling she'd never felt before so strongly. She wanted him, but she didn't realize it just yet. He felt things he'd never felt before, trust and concern. He wanted her, he just didn't realize it yet.