Disclaimer: Don't own any of it.
borrowing the Characters for harmless fun.
This is purely for entertainment.
Author's Note: something I wrote out of nervousness honestly it's pretty sloppy but I thought eh what the hell, might as well post it
(This is more related to mental illness, not a lot of alien business going on)
Chapter 1
Maria POV/
"I'm really sorry Maria but this is something I have to do, I can't stand being here and watching them together it's tearing me up inside"
"but you said you wouldn't leave me this summer, Liz already left you're all I have left for my deflating sanity Alex,
"I'm sorry babe, I'll call you every Tuesday though okay? I love you ria"
" I love you too Alex but-"
—*dial tone*—
"Thank you Alex" I mumble finally losing strength against the never ending battle against my emotions
Sliding my back against my bedroom door I let the tears stream down my cheeks
It not even being a full week into the aftermath of destiny and both my lifelines decided to leave me, just like everybody else in my miserable pathetic life
No this is not pity, I am not pitying myself
I'm just so sick and tired of this aching pain that numbs around my emotions and silently breaks me down until I'm left nothing but a miserable little girl
And I'm not a little girl anymore, I'm a young adult who should be treated like one and not just a "make-out buddy" or the "side chick"
This is not how I imagined being a sixteen year old would be like, actually it's very much far from it
I thought by now I'd have a stable job that I LIKED working at or an amazing relationship with my mother, were she actually likes to spend time with me without being gone month's at a time or
maybe even a steady boyfriend that loved me and wouldn't even think about leaving me
But instead I have a completely empty house with a completely empty bedroom filled with me sitting on my carpet crying my eyes out at 10 pm being completely empty and unfulfilled with my oh so pathetic miserable life.
Struggling to get up off the my soft carpet, grabbing the edge of my vanity to pull myself up I lean against the door my breathing now coming out erratic
Oh no
"Not another one of these" I think choking on my breaths
Panic attack, almost every godamn day of my life now, I live in this constant state of fear with my nerves always on the edge just waiting for me to have my nightly breakdown
I am the epitome of weak, for lately nothing has been as hard as battling my own mind
"Alright Maria focus" I mentally remind myself
Last night was by far the worst when it came down to one of these little episodes, I had ended up hyperventilating so much that I was strangling myself for a breath of air making myself throw up trying to breathe
But instead of letting this anxious behavior build up till I made myself physically sick my body decided on take a completely different route
Without even blinking an eye, I'm up pushing everything that had been on my vanity into the floor including my glass vase filled with my dead blood red roses
The vase breaking against my carpet sending tiny pieces of glass everywhere
My body doesn't stop their though, striding across my room I grab my lamp throwing it against my wall then moving onto my bed ripping my pillows apart sending feathers flying everywhere, then my clothing dresser pulling everything out and ripping anything I could simply get my hands on, before dropping to my knees pounding both of my fists furiously against the hard carpet letting out a strangled scream of rage
"why?why?why?" I cry out between strangled gasps
Looking up and shaking from all the anger flowing through me I see that I had thrown the most meaningful act of kindness anyone has ever given me off of my vanity
My napkin holder
Looking down at my hands , now seeing the bloody gashes I had caused my knuckles I take a deep breath in before my body snaps up almost as if to say
"you're not done" I reach over roughly grabbing the napkin holder before throwing it at against the wall directly next to my glass vanity mirror, it breaking into thousands of wood chips
My breathing still uneven I look up into my vanity mirror now staring eye to eye with the monster that I've become
"I hate you" I'm mumble staring at myself
"I hate you so much"
Almost as if I was seriously losing my mind, looking into the mirror my reflection seemed to change, the corner of my lips tugging into a sinister smile
"Stop" I say to my smiling reflection
My reflection responding instantly moving it's head slowly side to side in a no gesture
"STOP" I scream
My reflection begins to laugh at me, shaking me back into my panic filled state
"I SAID FUCKING STOP" I say almost screeching
Before I even knew what had happened my fist collided into my glass vanity instantly shattering it sending tiny glass pieces everywhere, including towards myself leaving some small and some very unnoticeable cuts all across my face
Losing my step from the impact of the punch I fall back into the small pile of tiny pieces of glass, hitting my head against the wood frame of my bed stand on the way down
"uhhghhhh" I groan my vision becoming dark
my eyes dropping making me instantly loose my grip on reality
but not before grasping the sight of my own dark silhouette standing over me threateningly
"wh-who?" I murmur before everything went completely black
Chapter 2
Waking up I breath out gasping for air, having the unwanted chills of cold water run down my body
"AHHH" I scream tripping my way out of my bathrooms shower
Rubbing my hands up and down my arms in a pathetic attempt to warm my almost deathly cold body up I turn my self to face the mirror shocked at the image that splayed out in front of me
"Holy shit" I say shivering and taking in my appearance
My hair matted to my head from the downpour of water from the shower head , it drips down my deadly pale and purple complexion mixing with the the blotchy dried blood that spread randomly across my face and down to my pale chapped lips that quivered with every breath I took
Almost in a flash it all comes back to me , the panic attack, the glass shattering , my reflection...but how did I end up in the shower?
Looking back towards the shower that had still been running I let out a frustrated cry running my hand down my face and wincing
Looking down at both my hands I see the damage that I had caused for the first time, my right hand especially from where I had slammed it into the mirror , black and blue with blood all over
Breathing out deeply from fear, I look back up my mirror carefully checking for anything different other than the obvious before turning around and opening the bathroom door making my way into the hallway leading to my bedroom almost stumbling over myself on the way there
Standing in front of my closed bedroom door I lean my sore body against the frame before taking my hurt hand and wrapping it around the nob of the door
Pushing open the door I look alround slowly taking in my scenery
A complete and utter wreck now completely cleaned almost as if nothing had even happened
"Oh my god"
"Oh my god oh my god" I mumble standing in the middle of my room
"I'm crazy, I'm seriously fucking mental"
Finally taking a full glimpse around the room before stopping suddenly losing my breath
"my mirror..." I whisper now looking at the empty wood that surround the mirror attached to my vanity
"It's gone, how is it gone if..."
Sighing I sit down on my floor holding my head trying to gather my thoughts
"Alright, I threw my stuff that was on my vanity on the ground.." I say looking at my vase of dead red roses that was neatly placed back where it belonged in the corner of the vanity, completely put together
"My lamp and pillows" I say looking over to my bed seeing the lamp placed on my nightstand and all the pillows stuffed and organized against my headboard
"Someone must have cleaned I..." stopping mid sentence having a lightbulb moment
Turning back around from my position on the floor and facing my now mirrorless vanity I gasp
The napkin holder that I had selfishly broke the night before sit directly in the middle of the vanity completely together
"oh my god what is happening to me" I say breathless holding back my tears
Feeling the nervous upchuck of bile making its way up my throat I run towards the bathroom before releasing my guts into the toilet
Several minutes later I finally feel that I have finished I flush one last time before leaning my head against the side of the toilet listening as the cold water from the shower that I have still yet to turn off pound against the bathtubs surface
"Fuck" I groan trying to stand up before falling back down from my dizziness
Feeling the warmth making its way back up to my ears clouding my brain I let out a scream of pure agony not being able to control my emotions
The familiar blackness try's to surround me again but instead of just letting it take over I decided to put up a fight, scared of what will happen if I blackout again
"let go" I hear a voice whisper in the back of my head
"No" I scream seeing a shadow through the blackness of my vision
"they want to hurt you, let me help" the voice whispers again
"LEAVE ME ALONE" I cry out the shadow now closer
"LET ME HELP"the voice screams back menacingly
Ignoring its pleads I beg "WHO ARE YOU?"
The room becoming completely silent for a few seconds helping me have time to gain a better grasp for my vision but not completely making me whimper
"oh Maria baby, I can't believe you don't even recognize me" the shadow whispers teasingly against my face it's hot breath hitting against my neck
Gasping I look up into the now clearer sight before me
" It's kinda sad, I mean after all...
I am you" the dark shadow that is me says looking me directly in the eyes centimeters away from my face
"wha-wha-how I-" I say between breaths of fear tears streaming down my face
"oh baby don't cry, shhhh shhh" my other version coo's placing both of It's hands on each side of my face and rubbing their thumbs over my tears
"There There, did those stupid, ugly, selfish alien bastards hurt you? aw its okay baby, Ria's gonna take good care of you from now on out you hear?" The other version says addressing herself as Ria
Whimpering I can't help but feel comfort as she places a soft kiss on my forehead before standing up above me
"Take my hand" she whispers reaching her arm out above me for me to grab onto
I look at her hand hesitantly before back up at her face
"It's okay, you can trust me alright? I would never hurt or leave you Maria, just take my hand" the other version of myself says leaning down to help me get a better grasp of her hand
Softly grabbing her hand I let out a shaky breath of air as other me pulls me up before grasping my forearm and walking me back towards my bedroom door, then walking in and laying me down on the bed
Pulling the covers over the top of my breast area she crouches down beside the bed before brushing the stray hairs out of my face
"are-are you gonna kill me?" I whisper looking into her eyes
"No" she says laughing softly
"I'm gonna sit here till you fall asleep then I'm going to clear you're face off from the dry blood and tears and after that I'm gonna bandage up the boo-boo's on you're hands, okay?"
"Are you an alien" I say trying not to sound scared
"No I'm not , I'll explain everything later Alright? Just go to sleep, you're gonna need you're rest, she says mumbling the last part
"I'm scared" I admit
"Don't be everything is fine, would you like me to sing you a song? How about that one dad used to sing us before bedtime? Would that make you more comfortable?"
"How did u-" I start to say before being interrupted as the other version of me starts to hum in a low tone running her fingers through my hair comfortingly
"you've got a fast car and I want a ticket to anywhere"
"maybe we'll make a deal, maybe together we'll get somewhere"
"anyplace is better, starting from zero got nothing too lose"
"maybe we'll make something"
"me myself I've got nothing to prove"
"You've got a fast car, and I've got a plan to get us out of here"
"Been working at a convenience store, managed to save just a little bit of money"
"Won't have to drive too far, just cross the border and into the city"
"You and I can both get jobs and finally see what it means to be living" she sings softly grasping my hand soothingly as I try hard not to fall back asleep
"You've got a fast car, fast enough so we can fly away"
"We've got to make a decision, leave tonight or live and die this way" she whispers as my eyes completely close before my body finally gives up
falling into a deep slumber
Chapter 3
slowly opening my eyes trying to adjust to the bright morning rays of sunshine that decided to rudely wake me up I let out a happy sigh making the corners of my lips perk up slightly at the overwhelmingly satisfied feeling that overcomes me for the beautiful amount of sleep I had received from the night before
night before
My smile instantly drops of the remembrance
My eyes now completely open I glimpse around me carefully making sure not to move
Everything peacefully quiet, I move around wanting to get out of bed before stopping immediately at the feeling of something grasping around my waist from behind
Letting out a shaky breath I try getting out of bed before realizing that an arm was holding onto me tightly
Letting out a deep breath I slowly turn my body towards the direction of the arm that was draped around my waist
Just to be met face to face with myself staring right back at me
"AHHH" I scream in a high pitched girly screech falling out of the bed and curling myself up in the corner of my room facing my doppelgänger
"Easy there chica, We've done good so far when it came to the neighbors not calling the cops , probably don't wanna start now" the other me says smirking from her spot on my bed
"EXPLAIN NOW OR IM GONN-GONNA UHM" I exclaim looking around for something to protect me
"Gonna What?" Other me giggles sitting up against my headboard
Looking down I grab a random shoe before pointing at her raising my eyebrows challengingly
She giggles again before rolling her eyes... my eyes
"Alright calm down rocky, I'll explain okay just put down the shoe"
Slowly dropping my hand that held the shoe at my side I glared at her making a hurry up motion with my empty hand
Sighing she lets out a deep breath
"Maria" she's says looking me in the eyes and pausing for dramatic effect
"What?"
"...I am you're father" she says covering her mouth making it sound deep
"Funny"
"Okay okay jeez don't look at me like that , if I tell you you're not gonna believe me anyways" she says picking at her nails nervously
"Try me"
Looking up she looks hesitant at first furrowing her brows slightly before placing her hands in her lap
"I'm not real" she finally says breaking the silence
"...what do you mean you're not real?"
" I mean I'm not real, I am a figment of you're imagination that you've decided needed to be let out" she says shrugging absently picking her hand up and bringing it to her mouth biting her nails
"Yeah okay and I know the muffin man, now if you don't tell me what the hell is going on I'm going to seriously flip my shit okay?" I say scoffing at the doppelgänger
only now noticing how much different her appearance is than mine
Her hair is long and probably past her ass in dark black curls, her eyes having deep dark circles around them and her wardrobe lacking various amounts of color
"Fight club" she says
"What?"
"The book, Fight club"
"What about it?"
"It's kinda what's going on except you already know that you're nuts"
"Excuse me?"
"I'm like the Tyler Durdan to you're sick little mind"
"That's not possible you're not fake I can feel you and I can see you and I can smell you-"
"So?"
"So!?, I am not crazy you-you-imposter"
"Honey I'm sorry but apart of you that you've been ignoring has finally decided to come the hell out Alright? You've been holding me in for months and maybe even years but at this point you are hurting way too much to do this alone, it's okay I don't want to hurt you" the other me says getting up and making her way in front of me
"Wha-what-what do you want from me" I whisper, scared
Taking the shoe out of my hand softly she puts it on the desk besides me before grasping both of my shoulders in her hands soothingly, looking me straight in the eye
"Maria Deluca, I am here to save you"
Gasping silently at her words I look down for a second before looking back up into her eyes
"How do I know you're not an alien" I say confidently
"... I guess you don't, you'll just have to believe me" she says sadly
We stand there silently for a few seconds before she swings out her hand
"Obviously I'm you Maria, but I go by Ria if you don't mind addressing me by it"
Taking her hand softly into mine I shake It firmly
"okay so Ria...what are we supposed to do now?"
" Uhm I don't really know"
"Well... if what you're saying is true then don't you think you should know?" I say walking around her cautiously before flopping back on my bed
"I don't know... I mean I know what I FEEL like we should do"
"What's that?"
"I think we should leave"
"What!? Why?"
"Why not? everybody else did" Ria says shrugging and sitting beside me
"But-I-I-I Just I cant believe that I'm seriously imagining this right now"
"Well believe it sister" Ria says laying back against my bed beside me
"I've got questions" I say demandingly
"Shoot"
"..wha-why do you look different than me? If we're pretty much the same person shouldn't we look the same?"
"Uh yes and no, technically we are the same person but it's like looking at one side of you're brain while using the other. It's completely different personality's...why? You like what you see" she says jokingly raising her eyebrows in a suggestive manner
Ignoring her, I roll my eyes
"God I am so sore " I say groaning from the sharp pain that hits me from behind suddenly
"That's what she said"
"What?" I say turning my head to quickly glare down at the other me
"...what? Oh cmon you know that was funny"
Ignoring her again I turn to look up at my ceiling before letting out a deep sigh
"Fuck what have I done to myself now" I mumble to no one in general
"I can't believe how cool you're acting about this" she says looking at me
"Yeah well aliens" I mumble back making her nod her head silently
"How did this happen?"
"Well last night you went psycho on you're room leaving ME to clean it all back up... you're welcome by the way"
"The shower" I mumble
"Huh?"
"How did I end up in the shower"
"I put you there, well technically you put you there since we're the same person"
"So you didn't clean my room"
"Yes I did"
"No I did, before dragging myself into the shower"
"Whatever" Ria scoffs turning her body so it's completely facing me now
"What?" I say looking up at her
"You've got bruises and cuts everywhere dude"
"Huh?"
"Go look at you're face in the bathroom mirror" she says shrugging before turning her back at me and snuggling back into the covers
Standing up I make my ways towards the bathroom, turning around to make sure Ria was still laying in my bed before heading over to the bathroom
Walking in and taking in my appearance I breath out deeply
"what have I done" I whisper to myself
My face covered in small cuts and slight yellow bruises only having a few major wounds like my brow bone having a deep bloody gash across it, or my lip being busted open with a cut through the middle of it, my face obviously been cleaned from all dry blood
Looking down I realize my right hands knuckles were wrapped in bandages now, blood staining through the white fabric
My left hand only having slight bruising but still enough to make me hurt when moving it
Placing both of my hands on the bathroom counter and leaning against it I wince
Putting my left hand on my back I realize that I must've have really caused some serious damage when I fell back into the pile of vanity glass the first time I passed out
"Jeez I look like I just got into a fight with a gang" I mumble pushing myself back up from the bathroom counter, wincing before making my way out and into the kitchen
Opening the freezer, I begin to move things around searching for something cold to lay against my sore back
"Aha peas yes" I say triumphantly pulling the bag out before slowly placing it on my back
dingdong* *dingdong*
Looking at the front door in horror I notice out of the corner of my eyes that Ria had now joined me
"Who is it?" She whispers
"I don't know"
"Well go check"
"You go check"
"No, you go check"
"Nobody can't see you though" I whisper back
Rolling her eyes she walks towards the door peeking out behind the small curtains that covered the small window before slamming her body up against the wall beside it
"What!?" I whisper at her
"I can't believe this" she whispers
flabbergasted
"What!?"I repeat hurriedly making my way towards her
ding dong* *ding dong*
"Standing right outside that door Maria..."
"Yeah!?" I say worried
"Is a real life cowboy" she finishes clutching her hand to her heart
"What?" I say making my way towards the door and peeking out the window
There in all his glory stood a bored looking Kyle Valenti
"Oh shit!" I whisper looking back at her
"He can't see me like this! He'll tell his dad and the his dad will tell my mom and then-"
Wrapping her hand around my mouth she shooshes me
"Okay here is what you're gonna do, you're gonna answer the door and act completely normal, if he asks about you're face or you're hands you just brush it off and make up some lame excuse alright? I'll be right behind you, Do not tell him about me he will think you're crazy okay?"
Shaking my head yes she lets go of my mouth before putting an encouraging hand on my shoulder
ding dong* *ding dong*
"Uhm, coming" I say behind the door working up the courage to open it
Putting my hurt hand against the nob I put little to none pressure on pulling it around and out
Staring straight into the shocked eyes of Kyle Valenti
"Hey" I mumble not making eye contact
"Uh hi... are you okay?" Kyle says worried
"Yep"
"Are you sure? You look like you just went to prison and decided to punch the biggest person that was in the place"
"I'm fine Kyle okay I just got wrapped up in my covers this morning trying to get out of bed, is there by chance any reason your dropping by?"
He eyes my up an down for a few seconds before coughing loudly
"So you getting wrapped up in you're covers made you're hands look like that" he says slowly, pointing to my blood soaked bandage that was wrapped securely around my palm
"You ignored my question"
"You just ignored mine back" he reply's snidely
Looking behind me to see that Ria had disappeared I turn back quickly having a bad feeling in my stomach that something was about to go down
Watching me closely, Kyle gives me a confused expression
"What are you looking at?" He says trying to look past me
"Nothing Kyle, now can you please tell my why the hell you are here" I say begging him with my eyes to just walk away before I did something that I couldn't control
"Uh, Yeah Anyways dad wanted me to come check up on you since he knows that you're mom left and that you're alone in the house...but by the looks of it your not doing so good" Kyle says still eyeing me
"Kyle, I'm fine okay I just got wrapped up in some covers it's nothing, just don't worry you're dad over something that's not a big deal okay?"
"But Maria-"
"I've got to go, Just tell you're dad that I'm fine alright? Goodbye Kyle" I say closing the door in his face before leaning my ear against it listening to his footsteps get farther and the sound of an engine motor running
"Oh shit that was bad" Ria says suddenly appearing before pacing the kitchen
"What do you mean that was bad, I thought it could have been a lot worse" I say watching her worriedly
"Well yeah it could have been but now he's gonna go tell his dad what happened and then the sheriff is gonna come over and call your mom or something and then she's gonna come back leaving us no time to do what needs to be do- Ria says rambling worriedly
"Hey,Hey calm down okay your stressing me out over here, first off what the hell are we supposed to get done Ria"
" I don't know okay I just feel like we have to accomplish something like now"
"Alright calm down um... what do you feel like we need to do"
" Maria I DONT KNOW"
"Yes you do, you're gut is telling you that something needs to happen so listen to it, What does it say needs to happen Ria"
"Uhm-uhm I uhm" She says looking everywhere
"Just breath Alright we've got time trust me here " I say standing in front of her
"Okay I feel like... uhm that you need to uhm"
Nodding my head I motion her too continue
Let out a deep breath she sighs
"Okay I feel that you need to stop hurting and we need to find a way to help you stop hurting" she says slowly as if to believe her own words
"And how do we do that?" I say backing up giving her space to think
"Well we cant kill the people that are causing this" she says sighing sadly
"Right"
"But we can try to make you immune to the pain and emotions..."
"How?" I say intrigued
"I don't know we make you tougher and more mean I guess"
"Okay how the hell do we do that before the sheriff gets here" I say now getting worried
Shrugging she rubs her temples trying to come up with something
"Shit" I mumble sitting down and laying my head against the kitchens table
Something begins to itch my head and I look up noticing the corner of a big orange envelope that was joined with the other several letters from the mail addressed to my mom that laid unopened, had hit my head softly
Picking it up and running my fingers on the corner of the envelopes I furrow my brows
"Saints school for misbehaved children" I mumble reading the return address
"Huh?" Ria says looking over my shoulder at the address
"Open it" she commands
Putting my fingers on the edge of the envelope I tear it slightly, careful not to completely rip it over I look inside before pulling out a thick piece of white paper and tiny picture pamphlet
"holy shit... my mom got a enrollment form to military school for me? What the fuck" I say hurt
"She was gonna put us in military school?" Ria exclaims pissed
"That bitch" we say simultaneously
"Ooooo look though, it's co-op think of all those hot military boys.." Ria says trailing off
"Look at all the training their is, special ops training, wilderness training, strength and compatibility training..." I say trailing off
Staying silent for a few seconds we look at each other
"Definitely would make you a lot more tougher, and more dependable on yourself" ria says grasping the pamphlet tighter in her hand
"It's in Kansas" I state
"...you're point is?"
"I'm crazy they're not going to let a crazy person join military school Ria"
"First of all you're not crazy but in need of some serious emotional development, and second of all they don't know that."
"It needs my moms signature"
"Easy, go pack you're shit then fill this out and put it in the mailbox"
"How the hell am I supposed to get to Kansas Ria?"
"You're mom left you that money for food and shit when she left a week ago right?"
"Uh yeah"
"Okay so you can just take the bus"
"What do you mean me? What about you what are you gonna do"
"Uh Maria We're the same person, I only come out when you need me"
"Oh"
"You're gonna be fine, besides this is gonna really help you in the long run okay? Don't sweat it"
"Alright I guess" I mumble walking into my room to pack my stuff
"Oh We also need to write a note just in case anybody comes over and is looking for you" Ria says from her place in the kitchen
"And call the bus station for their hours" I mumble shoving my stuff into an old duffle bag
Walking into the bathroom to grab my essentials I let out a sigh
"a figment of my imagination is encouraging me to go to military school" I mumble looking at myself in the mirror
"Are you sure it's military school I should go too? There's a mental institution just a little bit out of Roswell that would probably happily take me in for free" I say out loud
"That wouldn't help you get tough"
"Mmmph true" I say to myself grabbing my bathroom essentials before taking on last glimpse in the mirror
"here goes nothing"
"So I think we should lose our virginity"
"mmm" I mumble only half listening to Ria go on about random things for the last 30 minutes while walking to the nearest bus stop
"No really though, let's just go screw some military hunk"
"Oh" I mumble ignoring passing civilians strange looks
"Yeah, once you get they're I'll help you look for one"
"Ria shhh, people are looking at me like I'm insane" I whisper nonchalantly looking to my side at my doppelgänger
"But you are insane" she reply's smugly
"Yeah well that's not the point" I say looking up and in the distance at the bus stops sign
"Then what is the point?" She asks waking in front of me making me stop the path I was on to my so called summer vacation
"We're gonna be late" I murmur trying to walk around her
"That doesn't answer my question" Ria says In a sing-song voice before stopping right in front of me again
"Okay you really wanna know what the point is? The point is not even a whole day ago I lost my mental and imagined this other half of me that is telling me to do things that I really don't know if I feel completely comfortable doing okay?" I exclaim ignoring the old man passing me by with a scared look on his face
"And I'm scared, and I'm tired, and sore, and just sad, so mother fucking sad, and I have absolutely NO ONE TO GIVE A DAMN EXCEPT MY IMAGINARY FRIEND, I MEAN CMON CAN YOU NOT GRASP HOW PATHETIC THAT IS?" I say screaming now
"dude chill, cops" Ria says looking behind me
Turning around now noticing the two male cops leaning against the local coffee shops entrance, I send them both a tight smile before hauling ass towards the bench of the bus stop
"Hey! Wait up" Ria calls from behind me
"Leave me alone" I hiss reaching the bench
"Maria"
"I don't think I can do this"
"What?"
"I do not think I can do this"
"Why the hell not"
"I'm scared" I admit for the second time
Sighing Ria plops down on the bench, resting her elbows on her knees and putting her head on her hands before looking up at me
"Lose that"
"Lose What?" I say defensively
"Lose That oh boo-hoo pity me mentality"
"Excuse me?"
"Maria let's face it okay? Nobody likes us, our boyfriend dumped us for a hot ,5,7, big boob'd blonde, our mom barley wants to be around us, and literally all of our friends left us." She says glaring off in the distance
"...and you know what? It doesn't even fucking matter, you know why?"
"No" I mumble hurt at the truth of her words
"Because they don't fucking deserve us, now what you're gonna do is you're gonna get on that bus, you're gonna go to this school, learn,exercise,flirt, and enjoy yourself for once in you're oh so pathetic miserable life and come back a whole different mofo, you hear me?" she says giving me a pointed look
"Loud and clear" I whisper back having the fit of nerves in my stomach finally explode seeing the approaching bus
"Hey, I'm serious, let's show these assholes what the fuck the are really missing here"
"Okay"
"Okay?"
"Yes, okay" I say with more confidence giving her a small smile
"Alright baby, let's do this" she says pushing me towards the bus
"But-" I say turning around before realizing she's disappeared
Walking in a line with the other boarding passengers up the bus, I give the driver my fee and destination before walking towards the back and slinging the duffle bag that I had been carrying off besides me
letting out an anxious sigh feeling the bus's engine start, I look out the window as the streets of Roswell pass me by
"Adios" I mumble to myself laying my head against the window and resting my eyes
Letting a warm tear slide down my cheek, I nap silently
alone
By myself
forever