Scene I

MISSION BAND enters to the exterior of the mission singing FOLLOW THE FOLD. All are very tired and annoyed with the song. All except AGATHA. She is skipping to the beat of the song with a look of supreme happiness on her face. All look at her very oddly.

GENERAL (aside to ARVIDE) - I'm beginning to fear for Agatha's mental health.

~ARVIDE nods. SARAH enters with a look of determination on her face. She is obviously planning something. ARVIDE notices this.

ARVIDE- Hello Sarah dear. You look like you've just planed something that could potentially change the course of the show. What is it?

SARAH- I've decided to marry Sky Masterson.

AGATHA- I didn't know you liked each other!

~Everyone looks at AGATHA ~

ALL CHARACTERS- Really?

ARVIDE- Who finally convinced you?

SARAH (very proudly) - Miss Adelaide. The well known fiancé.

ARVIDE- Really?

SARAH- Yes. Why?

ARVIDE (as if about to say something) - Never mind. (She smiles suddenly) Sarah you're getting married. You know what that means.

SARAH- What does it mean?

AVIDE- It means we throw you a bachelorette party!

~ALL except SARAH smile. SARAH looks nervously around.

CURTAIN CLOSE

Scene 2

Curtain opens to the interior of the mission. The clock chimes saying its 8:00. SARAH is seen sitting at the desk. She is looking over a paper with a very frustrated look on her face. She throws the paper down and groans rubbing her temples. ARVIDE and AGATHA enter in party dresses. The spot SARAH and walk over to her.

ARIVDE- What are you doing Sarah?

SARAH (groaning) - I'm trying to write my vows. I'm getting married tomorrow. I want to right good ones but they all turn out wrong. Here look.

~SARAH hands ARVIDE the paper.

ARVIDE (reads the paper aloud) – "My dear Sky I hope in our new life together you will stray no more. I know you are a sinner and you'll pray no more but I love you anyway. I know since you love me you will tear up your poker deck and play no more." Hey why does this sound familiar?

AGATHA- I know! I know! FOLLOW THE FOLD AND STRAY-

ALL- NO!!!!

~SARAH takes back the paper and reads it to herself. ARVDE grabs SARAH. AGATHA grabs the paper. They drag SARAH to the middle of the mission.

ARVIDE- You need to relax.

SARAH- But I need to…

ARVIDE- No! (turns to AGATHA) Agatha? Music!

~AGATHA reaches behind the desk and pulls out IPod dock. SARAH jumps. AGATHA presses a button and LADY MARMALADE plays. AGATHA looks at the audience.

AGATHA- This song won't come out for another 30 years! (Thumbs –up)

SARAH looked confused. ADELAIDE enters the mission.

ADELADIE- I hear music. Congrats Sarah!

~SARAH nodded still confused. ADELADIE looks at ARVIDE and smiles. ADELAIDE whistles and HOT BOX GIRLS come running in with alcohol.

ARVIDE- Party time!

~All the characters start dancing like crazy and drinking.

CLOSE CURTAIN

Scene 3

We are at the mission 3 hours later. All characters are verydrunk. ARVIDE wanders across the stage with a Jack Daniels bottle in her hand. SARAH is on the table chugging a bottle of Vodka with HOX BOX GIRLS around her. AGATHA is sitting in the corner doing Tequila shots with ADELAIDE. The rest are crazy dancing in the middle of the mission. GENERAL enters clutching her head. She is in her dressing gown and looks like she has a splitting headache. She looks up and is shocked. ARVIDE see her and stumbles over to her. She drapes her arm around the GENERAL.

ARVIDE- So glad you could make it General.

GENERAL (shocked) - What is going on here?!

ARVIDE- Its Sarah's Bachelorette Party! If you don't like it you shouldn't have came. (she drinks from the bottle)

GENERAL- But I live here.

~ARVIDE walks away to dance. GENERAL goes and sits down on a bench. AGATHA comes and walks up behind the GENERAL. She sits down.

AGATHA (dark) - Looks fun doesn't it?

GENERAL (jumps) - Jesus! Agatha you scared me!

AGATHA- You know what else is scary. Polio. Polio is scary. We're all going to die you know?

~GENERAL looks quite scared. She inches away from AGATHA. She finally gets up and walks up to a drunken ARVIDE. ARVIDE is in the middle of a story.

ARVIDE- So then Rusty Charlie says "Wait let me put my pen…"

GENERAL (interrupts) - ARVIDE!?!?!

~SARAH gets off the table and goes to the GENERAL.

SARAH- Oh loosen up General. Have a drink!

~She hands her a bottle. GENERAL refuses.

GENERAL- No thank you dear I…

ARVIDE- I knew it. (walks to the GENERAL) She won't do it. She's too much of a goody to drink. Why are you such a goody anyway?

~GENERAL looks at ARVIDE and shakes her head. She turns to leave for her room.

ARVIDE- She doesn't have the guts. Do you, Matilda?

~GENERAL slowly turns to ARVIDE. All the characters crowd around the two women. She walks up to her and reaches to get a full bottle of alcohol. She opens it a drinks the whole bottle in one swing. She stumbles slightly.

GENERAL (slurring) - That is some good stuff!

~All characters yell in joy. They all go to dance. (INSERT SHANNON CHOREORAPHY)

GENERAL ( bottle in hand) - I'VE BEEN A BAD, BAD GIRL! (takes a swing)

CLOSE CURTAIN

Scene 4

Open to interior of the mission. There is a tremendous amount of mess. The bottles are strewn across the floor and papers are everywhere. The girls of the MISSION BANDshuffles in. All are holding their heads with massive headaches. They sit down at various places on stage. ARVIDE sighs.

ARVIDE- Last night was crazy huh?

~ALL nod.

GENERAL- I feel so….

SARAH- Hung-over?

GENERAL- I was going to say like I was hit by an 18 wheel trunk and then did drugs but that works too.

~AGATHA falls to the floor. She is asleep. ARVIDE shrugs.

ARVIDE- Guys? What did I say or do last night? Do you remember? Because I don't.

SARAH- I think you were going on about someone named Rusty Charlie but I'm probably wrong.

ARVIDE (blushes) - Yes I think you are wrong too.

~GENERAL laughs.

GENERAL- I had so much to drink last night.

SARAH- Yeah. We were drinking and then you left. Where did you go?

~All look at GENERAL.

GENERAL- I…err….um…I- I don't...

SARAH (disgusted) - Never mind. I don't want to know!

GENERAL (chuckles) - No you don't. (she holds her head) Ach! Headache!

~All hold their heads. CALVIN enters the mission.

CALVIN (whispers) - Is it safe yet?

ALL GIRLS- NOT SO LOUD!!!!!

~All characters line up to the edge of the stage. They are all cheerful and happy. All evidence of a hangover is gone.

When you see a guy reach for stars in the sky
You can bet that he's doing it for some dolls
When you spot a John waiting out in the rain
Chances are he's insane as only a John can be for a Jane.

When you meet a gent paying all kinds of rent
For a flat that could flatten the Taj Mahal.
Call it sad, call it funny
But it's better than even money
That the guys only doing it for some doll!

By: Alexis Jimenez