Not So Sweet
Disclaimer—Don't own anything, except bits and pieces of the idea. The characters belong to Bellisario or Universal. I'm just borrowing them.
A/N: First off, gotta thank av981638 for the title, along with helping me flesh out some ideas for the beginning of the story. Not connected to any previous story or series, and as such, Hawke and Caitlin are not together in the beginning. As to a time frame, this story would be set around the end of Season 2. This will be more of a Hawke/Cait relationship-based story, so if those aren't your cup of tea, please don't read.-Robert
Summary—Hawke's big mouth gets him in serious trouble with Cait. Can their friendship, and the Airwolf crew, survive?
Stringfellow Hawke watched his good friend Caitlin O'Shannessy walk out of the office, subtly glancing at her as she passed. As she walked, Hawke could not help but notice that her jeans seemed to be hugging her figure, especially her rear end, a little tighter lately. She must be doing that on purpose, he thought, and I hate to admit it, but if she's doing that to get my attention, it's working.
Then he remembered something he'd heard in the cell back in Pope County—some of the other officers called her 'Sweet Britches.' And, it certainly fits. Hawke tried not to smile at his thought, but couldn't keep the smile off his face, which caught Dom's attention.
"What're you smilin' about like that, String?" Dom asked casually.
"Just admiring the view, Dom." Hawke grinned at his old friend and surrogate father, then turned his attention back to Caitlin.
"Which—oh, that view," Dom said, glancing over Hawke's shoulder at Caitlin. "She's awful pretty, y'know that, String? 'Course, I told you that when we left Pope County that first time."
"I remember, Dom. You said, 'She was, kinda cute, huh, String?' And I blew you off, said she was just a kid. Well," Hawke continued, shaking his head, "I can definitely see she's not a kid anymore. If she ever was one to begin with."
"String? Are you thinkin' what I think—wait—what I hope you are?"
"Maybe, Dom. Maybe." Hawke smiled at his old friend again as they got back to work.
A few hours later, Hawke caught up with Caitlin before she left for lunch. Well, here goes, he thought. "Hey, Sweet Britches," he said, smiling.
SMACK! Caitlin turned around and slapped Hawke clean across the face, and the sound echoed through the empty hangar. "Ow! Hey, Cait, what did I say?" Hawke demanded, rubbing the spot on his cheek where Caitlin's right hand had connected, even as he noticed the tears in her eyes.
"'What did I say?', you ask? You know danged well what you said, Stringfellow Hawke! And I-I can't believe you would say that to me!" Caitlin shouted through her tears. "I-I thought you were my friend, Hawke! And I-I was hopin' that maybe, maybe you'd be somethin' more someday, even with that danged curse you're always yapping about! But now, I see you're just like those jerks back in Pope County!"
Uh-oh. Now I get it. Now I know what Dad meant when he said 'open mouth, insert foot.' I feel like I stuck my whole leg in my mouth, even though I still have no clue why she's so upset. Hawke suddenly felt embarrassed over what he'd said, and tried to say something to apologize. "Caitlin, I'm"—she suddenly interrupted as Dom came over with a worried expression, since he'd heard both the slap and the end of what Caitlin told Hawke.
"Oh, you're sorry, right, Hawke? Well, you're right about that. You are one sorry human being, and I can't believe I ever thought I was in love with you!" She wiped at her eyes furiously when she saw Dom. "Dom, I'm sorry about this. But it's not my fault—your big-mouthed friend here just said somethin' that really upset me. I'm leavin' for lunch now, but I'm not real sure if I'm comin' back or not."
"Okay, Cait," Dom said, glaring at Hawke. "Take whatever time you need, but you be careful, okay?"
"Okay, Dom," Caitlin replied as she turned and walked away.
"String, what the hell did you say to her?" Dom demanded as Caitlin's car roared away.
"I just called her 'Sweet Britches,' Dom. I heard some of the guys in the jail back in Pope County call her that, and I have to admit, it does fit." Especially with those tighter jeans she's been wearing lately, Hawke thought.
"Well, evidently she doesn't like it, String!" Dom said angrily. "And I hope like heck that she comes back, even if it IS to chew your ass out again! Because you sure as heck deserve it!"
"Yeah, Dom," Hawke said as he glanced in the direction Caitlin's car had taken, "I know."
Damn him! Caitlin was angrier at Hawke than she could ever recall being as she sat in her car outside of a Burger King. He oughta know better than that! After what I went through with those jerks back home, I thought I'd never hear those words again! But to hear them like that from Hawke—doesn't he understand how much that hurt?
Caitlin's last thought made her stop for a moment. Wait a sec. Does Hawke really understand what I went through with those guys? I mean, yeah, he heard a couple of them say 'Sweet Britches' back there, and I didn't really react to 'em, so that's probably why he thought it'd be okay to say it. So I guess I owe him an apology for that—but not as big of an apology as HE owes ME. And I'm not gonna be satisfied until I get it, either! Caitlin finally dried her eyes and got out of the car, walking into the restaurant for lunch.
As she ate, something Caitlin had shouted at Hawke rang in her head. "You are one sorry human being, and I can't believe I ever thought I was in love with you!" Oh, God in Heaven! She thought, embarrassed. I sure hope like heck Dom didn't hear that, even though it's the truth. Even-even after that stupid comment, I am in love with String. Which is gonna make tellin' him I'm leaving even that much harder. She finished her lunch, went back outside, and cried in her car again for a few minutes before finally heading back toward the hangar.
Back at Santini Air...
"String, you think Cait's comin' back?" Dom asked.
"How should I know, Dom?"
"Good point, I guess. But like I said before, I sure hope like heck she does come back, even if it is to chew your butt out, String!"
"I know, Dom. I-I just didn't think"-
"You're darned right you didn't think, you idiot!" Dom snarled, angrier than Hawke could ever recall. "That had to be the dumbest thing you ever said! And you've said an awful lot of dumb things in your life, let me tell you!"
"I know, Dom. I know you're right. I just wonder why it bothered Cait so much."
"That's a good question, String. I mean, I suppose she could just be thinkin' it was some kind of sexual harassment, but I know you better than that. I've never known you to sexually harass anybody, so I don't think you would've done it to Caitlin. And besides, she did say somethin' about 'those jerks back in Pope County.' Wonder what that was all about."
"Guess we'll have to ask Cait," Hawke said. "If we get the chance."
"I hope so, kid. I sure hope so," Dom said, shaking his head.
Meanwhile...
Caitlin had driven around for another hour after lunch, trying to get her head right so she could confront Hawke about what he'd said. I hate feelin' like this. Hawke might not understand why I got so mad when he said that. I mean, it's not like he was tryin' to harass me sexually, or anything like that. At least, I don't think he was. I thought I knew him better than that, even though I don't really know him that well.
She sighed as she considered what she would do next. I-I guess I'll just have to go back there and face him, even if it is for the last time. 'Cause after what he said, I might just pack up and go back to Texas, like Mom's been buggin' me to do ever since the hijacking. Even though I don't really want to. Finally, Caitlin decided she had to confront Hawke, and headed back to the hangar.
When Caitlin returned to the hangar, she was surprised to see Dom standing out in front of the hangar, but Hawke was nowhere to be seen. That's actually a relief. She climbed out of the car and smiled at Dom. "Sorry I'm late, Dom. I-I just had some thinkin' to do, y'know?"
"I know, Cait, and like I said before you left, it's okay," Dom said, drawing her into a friendly embrace. "We're not real busy, and I told you to take all the time you needed. But I do have a question for you."
Uh-oh. "What's that?" Caitlin asked, worried.
"Why does that nickname bug you so much?"
Caitlin's face immediately clouded over again. "Well, Dom, you know Hawke heard some of the other guys sayin' that to me, right?" Dom nodded. "Well, the problem was that those guys were doin' a lot more than just teasin' me. I could've handled it otherwise—like I've told you and Hawke before, I know karate, and I give free samples—but bein' the only female in that department, I didn't have much of a leg to stand on as far as complaining was concerned. Bogan sure as heck wouldn't have listened to me. He probably said it more than any of the other deputies, other than Blackmon. But I knew what they wanted, and that's why it bugged me so much." Dom nodded as he remembered Caitlin telling him and Hawke about Josh Blackmon, and how he'd been harassing her just before she left Pope County looking for Hawke.
"And," Caitlin continued, "I didn't want to get Bogan any more upset with me than he already was, especially when you and Hawke came along." Dom nodded understandingly.
"By the way, where is Hawke?" Caitlin asked. She'd noticed one of the Jeeps missing when she pulled up to the hangar.
"Oh, I had him run an errand while you were gone, Cait," Dom replied. "I thought he'd be back by now, though. Maybe he stopped off for a salad, or somethin'. I just don't know. Besides, I figured if you did come back, you probably wouldn't want to see him right away."
"Well, the only reason I came back is because I've got a few things to tell him, before I leave. Oh, and by the way, Dom, thanks." Caitlin smiled at Dom, but she could see how worried he looked.
"Leave? You mean, as in go back to Texas? Why the heck would you do somethin' like that?"
"Dom, there's this much about it," Caitlin said. "Yeah, I do mean I'm gonna go back to Texas. Don't get me wrong, I love workin' here with you, and even with Hawke, but"—she hesitated for a moment, then asked, "Did you hear what I said to Hawke before I left?"
"When you said you couldn't believe you thought"—Dom hesitated when Caitlin's face immediately turned red.
"Yeah. When I told String that I couldn't believe I thought I was in love with him. God, I was hopin' you didn't hear that!"
"So, you really love him, huh?" Dom fought to keep the smile off his face, but was unsuccessful.
"Yeah, I really do love him, even after that stupid comment he made. I don't know when it started—maybe when I saw him in the cell back in Pope County, or maybe it was after the hijacking, I dunno. But I do know that I love him—more than I've loved anybody in my life."
"Y'know, I've kinda had my thoughts about that," Dom said. "I mean, when I hear you two snap at each other for no reason, sometimes I've wondered if it was because you were avoiding your real feelings."
"Well, I don't know about Hawke, but I sure as heck know I've been hidin' from mine. 'Cause I know about that danged curse he's always hidin' behind. I remember when you told me about it."
"Yeah. I figured you needed to know about it, and I sure as heck knew String wouldn't say anything. I mean, he's lost so many people, and I know he just doesn't want to add you to that list. I kinda hate to be the one to tell you this, Cait, but when I saw him bein' so cold to you when you first met, I knew he liked you as more than just a friend."
What? "Dom, are you sayin' that you think"—Caitlin's face registered her shock at what she thought Dom was getting at.
"Yeah, Cait, I do. I think String really loves you—the way you said you love him. He's just afraid to admit it because of everything he's gone through in the past. And, Michael told me String was the same way with Gabrielle—real cold at first, but then"—Dom hesitated, and Caitlin nodded her understanding.
"I guess I can understand that, but doesn't he get that I'm perfectly capable of takin' care of myself?"
"Oh, he gets it. But, Gabrielle could take care of herself, too, and she's dead."
"Yeah, I know," Caitlin said, "and that's part of what frustrates me." Dom nodded as he went back into the office, coming out a few minutes later with a pair of sodas, handing one to Caitlin. They decided to sit down and take a break while they waited for Hawke.
Hawke wrestled with his emotions as he sat eating a fish sandwich he'd gotten from a McDonald's. He normally would not have gone there, but his stomach started growling a few minutes after he left the hangar, and he knew that if he went back to the hangar on an empty stomach and Caitlin was still there, he risked making an even bigger ass out of himself than he figured she already felt like he was.
Why did I say that? Hawke replayed what happened in his mind, especially after Caitlin slapped him. I mean, I didn't mean anything by it, other than just commenting that Caitlin is pretty, but she evidently took it real serious. I just wonder why. Finally, he finished his sandwich and drink, and decided he needed to head back to the hangar. Wonder if Cait's had a chance to calm down. I sure hope so. I'd hate for her to give me one of those karate kicks I've heard about. And while I'm thinking about it, I think I'll make a little stop. Might help smooth things over, if I've got something to hide behind. He disposed of his trash and climbed back into the Jeep. He took his time getting back to the hangar, knowing he had a few more things to settle in his head, and he also had decided there was something else he needed to do before he saw Caitlin again. Unless she's already gone. Well, if she is, we'll just have to go after her, because dammit, I owe her an apology, and there's so much else I need to tell her. Hawke's brow furrowed as he recalled Caitlin saying, 'I can't believe I ever thought I was in love with you!'
Was she serious? Is she really in love with me? Hawke thought as he drove. I-I suppose I'll just have to ask her the next time I see her. Whenever that is. But, he thought, even if she was in love with me, I'll bet she doesn't still feel that way, after what I said. And I wouldn't blame her.
Santini Air
"The problem is, Dom, I can't be givin' my love to someone who refuses to acknowledge how I feel, y'know? Like I said before, I love workin' here, even with Hawke, and especially with you. But it's—it's just getting too hard, seein' Hawke's face every day, knowin' how I feel about him, and knowin' that he doesn't feel the same way about me. And I don't care what you think, Dom, I don't agree that he loves me the way I love him."
"Maybe you're right, Cait. But then again, maybe not. And, the only way you're gonna find out is to ask him, y'know?"
"Yeah, I know. And you're right. By the way, thanks for listenin' to me. You—you've almost become like a second father to me, Dom, and I love ya for it. I hope you know that."
"Thanks, Cait. I've gotta admit, you've become like a daughter to me, too. That's one of the reasons I wish you'd get together with String. I mean, even you have to have noticed he's a heckuva lot easier to deal with when you're around."
"Yeah, I have noticed that."
"And I just thought about somethin'. I know you don't like to think about when your plane got hijacked, but there's somethin' about that time that I think you should know. String didn't wait for Archangel to tell us about the plane going down, before he went and got the Lady. He—he just did it as soon as we heard about it. No orders, no nothing. And, I think he did it 'cause he was worried about you. Heck, you should've seen him after you left."
"Really?" Caitlin's jaw dropped. She'd never heard this story before. But then again, I never asked, either. "He just up and went to the Lair and got the Lady, without Michael sayin' a word?"
"Yep. Heck, I didn't even have to tell him to go get her. That ought to tell you a lot right there, sweetheart."
Yeah, it does. "I guess it does. I just wonder if I'm wastin' my time, and my love, on Hawke. Y'know?"
"Yeah, I know. But there's somethin' else I've been meanin' to ask you about, Cait. Not that it's any of my business, but are you gaining a little weight?"
"What?" Caitlin felt herself get angry at what she thought Dom was insinuating, then she thought about it for a moment. He doesn't know what I'm doin', or why. "No, I'm not, Dom, and I'm sorry I snapped at you. I-I've been wearing my jeans a little tighter these days, though, hopin' maybe it'd get String's attention, but even that doesn't seem to be working. Makes me wonder if he's even human. I thought guys liked women in tight clothes!"
"Well, Cait, String's not your normal guy, but then again, you know that as well as I do. And I think he noticed today. Before he made that comment, I asked him what he was lookin' at. He said he was 'admiring the view.'
"You mean he was-?" Caitlin suddenly couldn't finish her sentence. Was Hawke checkin' me out, the way I've been checking him out the past few days?
Yeah," Dom smiled at Caitlin, "he was. I caught him lookin' at you as you walked away, and I have to admit, I was surprised when he told me he was 'admiring the view,' until I glanced in the direction he was looking and saw you. And I recognized that look, sweetheart. String was checking you out."
"Wow." Caitlin couldn't manage much more than that one word.
"So maybe he's seeing sense," Dom said.
"I hope so."
As Hawke drove back to the hangar, his mind was going a million different directions at once. I sure hope what I've done makes up for what I said. I mean, I still don't know why it bothered her so much, but it obviously did, so I need to apologize for saying that. Dom would never let me hear the end of it if I didn't, especially if Cait left because of my big, stupid mouth.
Besides, it's not like Cait can't take care of herself. I heard what happened at that rival air service a while back, not to mention how she saved the helicopter from going down. And then when Villers was chasing her, she evaded some of his rockets on her own. Not to mention helping me keep it together long enough to shoot down those missiles that Soviet sub had pitched at us. Once again, Hawke found his thoughts going back to when Caitlin said she couldn't believe she thought she was in love with him. I wonder if she still feels that way, after what I said, he thought.
I-I guess I've just got to face it—I'm in love with Caitlin. Maybe that's why I snap at her so much—like I'm trying to avoid my real feelings. Maybe I figure it's easier to say stupid things like I did today than to admit to my feelings. To admit that I 'm in love with her. Well, no more. If she's still there when I get there, I'm going to tell her exactly how I feel. Hawke felt more confident than he could recall feeling in a long time as he approached the hangar and found Caitlin's car parked out front in her usual parking spot. Thank goodness. He pulled into another spot and turned off the Jeep, taking his time gathering up his stuff before he got out.
"I think I hear Hawke," Caitlin said when she heard something outside the hangar. She stood up and moved toward the hangar door. "Yep. It's him, Dom," she said, recognizing Hawke's face inside the Jeep. A moment later, he climbed out, his movements awkward because of something he was holding behind his back.
"Hawke," Caitlin said coldly. Hawke winced at Caitlin's tone of voice, which sounded more angry and hurt than he could ever recall. But I deserve it, because I'm the reason she sounds like that. Well, here goes nothing. And everything. He brought his hands out from behind his back to reveal a bouquet of a dozen roses, along with a teddy bear holding a red heart that read, I'm 'Beary' Sorry.
"For me, Hawke? But, why?"
"Isn't it obvious? Cait, I'm very—or I guess I could say 'beary'—sorry for what I said this morning. It was wrong, and stupid of me, and—and I hope you can forgive me."
Hawke was not sure how to read Caitlin's expression when tears sprang to her eyes as she took the flowers and bear out of Hawke's hand. "I—I'll be right back, Hawke." she said, ducking back into the hangar.
"String? You okay?" Dom asked. He'd seen Caitlin carry the flowers and bear into the office, and was worried when he saw the tears in her eyes.
"Yeah, Dom. I think for the first time in a long time, I'm-I'm really okay. That's why I was gone so long—I figured I needed to pick something up to smooth things over with Cait, and I had a lot of things to think about. I-I just hope it was enough."
"We'll see, String." Dom turned back to the hangar just as Caitlin came out of the office, having found a vase for her flowers.
"Dom, could-could you excuse us for a minute?" Caitlin asked.
"Sure, sweetheart." He glanced at Hawke and nodded at Caitlin before he walked away.
"So, Hawke," Caitlin said coldly, "you're really sorry for what you said to me this morning?"
"Yeah, Cait, I am. But what I don't get is why it upset you so much."
Well, here goes. "Well, String, I know you heard some of the guys back in Pope County say it to me, but you never heard some of the—the other things they were sayin'. Things like what that guy Blackmon was sayin'. Remember I told you about him?"
"Yeah." Hawke did indeed remember Caitlin telling him about Josh Blackmon, and how he had been making sexually suggestive comments like the one Hawke made, and how Caitlin had finally dealt with him when he took his harassment to another level. But at least now I understand why Cait reacted the way she did when I said that. Geez, I am such an idiot.
"I remember what you told me about him, Cait, and I'm sorry if what I said brought back any bad memories. I-I didn't mean it that way. I'll be honest—even though I meant it as a compliment, I know I shouldn't have said it, and again, I'm sorry for saying it. But I guess I wouldn't blame you if you didn't believe me."
I know String. I know he doesn't say things like he's sayin' now, if he doesn't mean them. And hearin' him say that just makes it that much harder to say what I've gotta say. "I-I believe you, String. And besides, you didn't know about everything else that happened. But there's a few other things I want to tell you, before I leave."
"Leave? You're thinking of leaving, Caitlin? Why?"
"String, don't get me wrong. It's not that I don't enjoy workin' here, and even flying Airwolf—that is, when you two flyboys decide to let me come along on missions, instead of leavin' me behind—but, there's this much about it." Caitlin took a deep breath before she continued.
Well, it's now or never. I guess I've gotta tell him everything, so here goes. "It-it's just that even after what you said today, I'm in love with you, String. And I'm sick and tired of feelin' like I'm wasting my love on you. I feel like there's gotta be somebody out there who will love me, but I can't sit around here waiting to find him. So, even though it absolutely breaks my heart to do this, I've got no choice but to leave." Especially since you don't love me the way I want you to, String. Even though I wish like heck you did. 'Cause like I said, even after that stupid remark of yours, I still love you, Stringfellow Hawke.
She does feel that way, even after what I said. Well, here goes. "Cait, would it make any difference if I told you—if I told you that I'm in love with you, too? And that I've felt that way—that I've been in love with you—for a very, very long time?"
It might, String! If you're not just sayin' that to keep me here, then it just might! "Well, I guess that depends." I really hope he means that, Caitlin thought, 'cause I don't want to leave! But it's like I told him, I've got no choice but to leave, if he doesn't love me!
"Depends? On what?" I've got a feeling I already know the answer to that question, but I figured I might as well ask.
"On whether you're just sayin' you love me to try to keep me from leavin', or if you really mean it. 'Cause if you just said it to keep me from leavin', I think that was a really mean thing to do. But if you're serious"—she suddenly felt herself cut off when Hawke wrapped his arms around her waist and pulled her to him, then kissed her more passionately and completely than she could ever recall anyone ever kissing her.
Dom's heart leaped into his throat when Hawke kissed Caitlin. Wow! I like what I see! And if this doesn't prove to you what he's feelin', Cait, then I guess I don't know what will!
When Caitlin felt Hawke's lips on hers, her whole body stiffened in pure, unadulterated shock, and she felt her heart begin to beat faster. God in Heaven! I-I guess he really means what he said! She finally slipped her arms around Hawke's neck and allowed her body to relax, allowing herself to return Hawke's passion with her own until she felt like something had short circuited in her brain. This feels so—so right, having String kiss me like this, Caitlin thought. Then, after what felt like way too long, but at the same time not long enough, Caitlin felt Hawke separating them. She shook her head and took a few deep breaths, and when she felt like she could construct a full sentence, she said, "Wow. That's—that's about all I can say about that. Wow." she said again. "String, what was that for?"
"It was to show you that-that I love you, Caitlin," Hawke replied, staring into her hazel eyes. "I love you very much, Caitlin, and I'm-I'm sorry that I've been denying it for so long. But, I promise you this, Caitlin—I will never deny my feelings for you, ever again." I just hope you feel the same way.
Caitlin felt her body stiffen in shock again when Hawke said, I love you very much, Caitlin, and I'm-I'm sorry that I've been denying it for so long. She smiled through the tears that sprang up in her eyes. "String, I love you, too!" she said happily before pulling him back to her in another kiss. She relished in the feelings of having Hawke's arms around her the way she'd always dreamed of, without some director beseeching him to make everything more 'realistic.' 'Cause this is about as 'realistic' as you can get! Dom was right! String does love me the same way I love him!
Damn, it's about time! Dom felt his heart soar when Caitlin kissed Hawke again, as he could only guess what had just happened. He stood by the hangar door, smiling, as Caitlin and Hawke separated again, and Dom saw the tears in Caitlin's eyes as they walked back toward the hangar. Wait a minute! What the heck is she cryin' about? Dom felt himself doubting his earlier thought that String had finally seen sense about Cait, until she said, "Dom! Dom, you'll never believe what just happened! You were right, what you said before! String said it—he finally told me he loves me!"
All right! "Goddammit, String, it's about time!" Dom shouted, ecstatically reaching out and embracing String. "Cait? So these are happy tears I see?"
"You better believe they are, Dom!" Caitlin replied, still beaming.
"I'm sure glad to hear that, Cait! And, you!" Dom turned toward Hawke, and he tensed up until he saw Dom smile. "Like I said, kid, it's about time!"
"You're right, Dom. It is about time I smartened up," String said a moment later, then turned his attention back to Caitlin. "Cait, you know this won't be easy. I mean, with Airwolf, there's always going to be danger in our lives, and of course, you know how I get sometimes."
"You're danged right I do, String. I know how you get about as well as anybody other than Dom. Look, I know you're worryin' about that curse you think you've got on yourself, but look at everything that's already happened since I've been here—and even through all that, I'm still here. But I promise you this—when I see you fallin' into that mood of yours again, I'm just gonna follow you to that place inside yourself you're always runnin' to—and I'll drag you back here to me, kicking and screaming or roped and hog-tied if I have to!"
"Somehow, Cait, I doubt you'll have to go quite that far," Hawke said, smiling as he wrapped his arm around her waist and pulled her close to him. "I promise, I'll try to do better. And you're right, about the curse. Maybe I don't have to worry about it quite so much."
"I sure hope so," Caitlin sassed back at him, but the smile on her face and love shining in her eyes betrayed her true feelings. "And, I'm sure glad to hear that, String." 'Cause I've been tryin' to tell you that for weeks now! I'm sure glad you decided to see sense!
"By the way, String," Caitlin said, stopping and turning him to face her, "take a look around."
"Whataya mean?" Hawke glanced around the hangar, his face scrunching into his deer-in-the-headlights expression. "Everything's the same. Nothing's changed."
"Exactly. Nothing happened when you told me you love me, String. Nobody took a shot at me, or stormed the hangar to kidnap me. The earth didn't open up and swallow me, either! You told me how you feel, and I'm still standin' here, alive and well. Do you get it?" Not to mention the happiest I've been since I don't know when, she thought excitedly.
"Yeah. Yeah, I really do get it." Hawke smiled at Caitlin as he wrapped his arm around her shoulders, and was relieved to see her smiling brightly back at him. When I see her smile like that, I know all's right in my world, Hawke thought.
"Good." Caitlin smiled as she wrapped her arm around Hawke's waist and they turned back to the hangar.
Just that quickly, Caitlin stopped in her tracks again. "Um, String," she said, "I'm-I'm sorry, too."
"For what, Cait?"
"For slapping you the way I did, and for those-those nasty things I said to you. I mean, you didn't know why I hated that nickname so much, so I guess I understand why you thought it'd be okay to say it. But I didn't mean what I said, String. Honest, I didn't. Except for the part where I said I was in love with you. That, I meant with all my heart and soul, because I was—Iam—in love with you." I sure hope you can accept that, and believe me, even after what I did, she thought.
"Cait," Hawke said as he smiled down at her, "you don't owe me any apologies. I-I deserved to get smacked, and I deserved what you said to me. Whether you meant it or not. So," he said as he pulled her closer again, "all even?"
"Yeah. All even, String."
"Oh, and by the way," String added when he noticed Caitlin's expression, "I believe you, and in case you're wondering, I'm in love with you, too." He smiled when he felt Caitlin relax in his arms.
"String, that makes me the happiest gal on the face of this Earth," Caitlin said before she kissed him again.
"I'm glad," Hawke said with a smile after they separated. "By the way, Cait, what was Dom right about?"
"While you were gone, Dom was tellin' me that he saw you checkin' me out earlier, and that he thought that you loved me. Of course, I was still mad because of what you said, and I told him he was wrong—that I didn't think you loved me, and that little comment of yours just proved it," Caitlin added, her cheeks turning a slight pink, "but it turns out he was right, and I was the one who was wrong."
"Like I always told the boys, Cait, 'never assume anything. 'Cause it just makes an ass out of you, and me,'" Dom said, still smiling. Hawke smiled as he recalled hearing those words from Dom several times when he and Saint John were growing up.
"In this case, I don't mind bein' wrong," Caitlin said, smiling back at Dom. She looked up at String and said, "I don't mind one bit."
"So I guess this means you're not leaving?" Dom asked, suddenly worried.
"Are you kidding, Dom? Of course I'm not leavin'!" Not when I've finally got everything I want, right here.
"I'm glad to hear that, Cait," Hawke said.
"Me, too!" Dom smiled his familiar gap-toothed grin at the new couple. Shoulda taken your own advice, Santini, he thought.
"String," Cait said, "hang on. Dom said you were—he said you were checking me out before."
Uh-oh, Hawke thought. I better be honest about it. "Yeah, I was, Cait. I have to admit, I've noticed you've been wearing your jeans a little tighter these days, and like I told Dom, I was admiring the view. Hope I didn't embarrass you."
"Did you, uh, like what you saw?" Caitlin asked hesitantly. I can't believe it worked, she thought excitedly.
"As a matter of fact," Hawke said, smiling, "I did. But then, I always have. I've always thought you were beautiful, Cait. Even the Airwolf flightsuit looks great on you. I've just been too stupid to admit it until now. And, I'll be honest—that's why I said what I did; but I didn't think before I said it."
"String, you're hardly stupid," Caitlin said, her cheeks turning red, "and all this time, I thought I was the stupid one."
"Why did you think you were stupid, Cait?"
"For bein' so crazy in love with you, when it seemed like you didn't feel the same way about me. That's why I started wearing these tighter jeans, to try to get your attention. And I felt like I was too stupid to realize that you'd never feel the same way about me, that I do about you. But I know different now. I guess we were both bein' stupid in our own ways, huh?"
"Yeah, Cait," Hawke said, smiling at her, "I guess we both were. But at least we smartened up finally, especially me. You definitely got my attention," Hawke said, causing Caitlin to smile at him, even as she felt her cheeks turn red. "But I'll tell you something. I'm gonna spend the rest of our lives making up for my stupidity when it comes to you. I promise you that."
'The rest of our lives', he said. God in Heaven, he must be even more serious than I thought! Caitlin's heart jumped at Hawke's words. But I know he means it—Stringfellow Hawke never says anything he doesn't mean! And I know somethin' else, too-I know there's not a man on this Earth I'd rather spend the rest of my life with than String. That's how much I love him. And now, I know he loves me the same way, she thought. Caitlin felt a rush of happiness unlike anything she'd ever known as she gazed up at String.
"I'm glad to hear that, String," Caitlin replied, smiling up at him. "And, I have a confession to make. I-I've been checking you out whenever I got the chance, too."
"You liked what you saw, I gather?" Hawke said, grinning.
"You better believe I did," Caitlin replied, smiling back at him, her eyes shining. "And I think your flightsuit looks danged good on you, too, String. And, I suppose it's okay if you say that to me, since I know what you mean by it. But, you'll be the only man I ever let call me that!" Hawke nodded his understanding.
"That's good to know, and thanks, Cait." Hawke pulled Caitlin closer and gave her another sweet, loving kiss. When he pulled back this time, Hawke was worried at Caitlin's expression. "Somethin' wrong, Cait?" he asked.
"Just that I'm sorry for sayin' 'Whether you're sayin' that just to keep me from leaving,'" Caitlin said, her cheeks turning a slight pink. "I-I shouldn't have said that, String, 'cause I know you—you never say things like that unless you mean them. Anyway, I'm sorry, again," Caitlin said, lowering her head.
"Cait, I understand why you said that," Hawke said, smiling reassuringly at her. "And just so you know, I don't blame you for sayin' it." He raised Caitlin's face up to his with a finger. "I mean, you were still upset with me, and you didn't know what I was thinking when I told you that. So it's okay. But I promise you something, Cait—I promise you that I will never hide my feelings from you ever again."
"Thanks, String. And I promise you the same thing. I'll never hide my feelings again, either. 'Cause now I don't have to." She smiled up at Hawke, and her eyes spoke the truth she felt in her heart.
"Neither do I, Cait," Hawke said as they slipped their arms around each other and turned back toward the hangar to meet Dom.
"You didn't really want to leave, did you, Cait?" Hawke said a moment later.
"What? String, how did you know what I was thinkin'?"
"I thought I saw somethin' in your eyes when you said you had a few things to tell me. I don't know why, but even though you said you wanted to leave, I got the feeling you really didn't."
"Well, String, you're absolutely right. I didn't want to leave, 'cause leavin' here, and leavin' you, would've been the hardest thing I've ever done. But now, I don't have to."
"I'm glad, Cait. Because if you had left, I feel like you would've taken part of me with you. That's how much I love you, Caitlin. And like I said, I'll spend the rest of our lives proving that to you."
"Thanks, String." Caitlin said as she smiled up at String. And I'll enjoy every second of it, she thought, with a new optimism filling her heart.
"Y'know, String, Dom said somethin' real interesting while you were gone. He said that he thought the reason you and I snap at each other so much is that we've been avoiding our real feelings. I told him I couldn't say what you were thinkin', but I knew I'd been hiding from mine, when it came to you."
"Well, Cait, I'll be honest. Like I said, I was hiding from my feelings for a long time, and I guess I figured that if I snapped at you, then I wouldn't have to face my feelings, even when you and Dom were trying to get me to do it. I know I can't take back anything that happened before, Caitlin, and all I can do is say, 'I'm sorry.'"
Caitlin hesitated a moment before she answered Hawke. "I understand, String, and I forgive you. For everything. It's over now, and my folks always taught me never to hold a grudge, especially against someone I love. Just don't ever do that again!" She smiled when she said it, but Hawke sensed the seriousness in her statement.
"Don't worry, Caitlin. I'll never do that again." He smiled back at her and kissed her again, to seal his promise.
"Oh, for cryin' out loud! Get a room, you two!" Dom shouted, but both Caitlin and Hawke could see the smile on his face. "But first, let's get some work done around here! I gotta pay the bills, y'know!" Smiling, Hawke and Caitlin followed Dom back into the hangar.
As the trio walked back into the hangar, Hawke felt a new lightness in his mind and heart. Like tellin' Caitlin how I felt was exactly what I needed to do, even though I was scared to death of doing it. It's like—like everything's going to be okay. He smiled as he glanced down at Caitlin and saw her smiling back at him, before she kissed him again.
Caitlin felt happier than she could recall feeling since she'd left Texas to come looking for Hawke as she glanced up at him and saw his eyes full of love for her. I can't believe it! He finally admitted he loves me! Caitlin felt a new optimism in her heart as she sighed happily, before she kissed Hawke again. When they separated, she thought, Now, we can start thinking about a future. Our future, together.
THE END.