A/N: I can't believe I'm doing this. I've never done a humor fic before so bear with me if the beginning isn't that good. This is general/humor and does have both a plot and a unique story behind everything. I'm pretty sure other people have done things similar to this, but I hope you find this unique and funny. This is based off of '103 Ways to Annoy Voldemort' located on mugglenet. The chapters will probably be a little shorter than my other stories, but may eventually grow bigger. I hope you enjoy.

Summary: A boy and girl while closing shut Harry Potter and the HBP are thrown into the Harry Potter world, only problem is they appear at a death eater meeting. Will they be able to survive Voldemort's wrath? Will he be able to survive them? Idea from 103 ways to annoy Voldemort.

Disclaimer: I own nothing so don't sue. Harry Potter and characters belong to J.K. Rowling not me.

To Annoy Voldemort

Prologue:

Resha sat quietly in the big red reclining chair. Her brother Zak laid sprawled out on the couch next to the recliner. Both had big copies of 'Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix' in their hands. Both of them loved Harry Potter and they had read the first five of the series over and over, they had seen all the movies that were out twelve times each, yet the books always remained better. Resha and Zak were twins, and like most twins they had a special type of power about them. Resha was a thin athletic looking girl, with nice features and mind for trouble. She had brown eyes, short brown hair, and was about 5'6. Zak on the other hand was 5'9, had blue eyes, and dark black hair. He was the thinker, planner, and could get the two of them out of whatever trouble Resha caused without even blinking. Both twins had a fiery temper and caring soul. They were at the moment in the library next to and joined to the orphanage, they had been brought to since their parents died at two. Zak had a job which paid a decent, or fair amount of money, it kept them living. They didn't stay at the Orphanage often, only when their foster parents dropped them off to do work. They had been adopted at the age of eight by a family called the Droms, they had a mother and father for the last five years, but the mother had been killed investigating a homicide, she used to be a detective, and she was a damn good one. Her days though had ended when a drug seller panicked and 'accidentally' shot off the revolver as she turned the corner. She died instantly, but her partner apprehended the murderer immediately after. He was sent to jail for two life sentences. Not that two were actually needed, he died a week later from sickness. Their foster dad had become depressed and drank way too often, which is why Resha and Zak often went to the Orphanage. The Orphanage was also the place where they picked up their mail, it was only just across the street. Most of the people at the Orphanage stayed away from Resha and Zak, mainly do to the fact Resha was a hyperactive sixteen year old and Zak a stubborn smart-aleck. It didn't help that they were also slightly crazy, not saying that to be mean, but it was proven by a psychiatrist when they were six, it had gotten much better since then and would be really rare at the occasions they went mad and it was never the psycho mad, but damn did they cause trouble. They had been good the last few years and didn't seem to need therapy any longer.

The library had a dusty old book smell. It was quite large, large enough for the medium sized town of Dupree. In fact the library could be considered huge, one of the biggest for at least miles then there's the city library, Resha and Zak had only been there twice. Both Resha and Zak had a copy of the Harry Potter books they were reading packed away in their bags off at the entrance to the library, the ones they were reading were from the library itself. I said earlier that Resha and Zak had no friends, well I lied. They had two, but both were known for being a little odd and eccentric. The first of their friends was Serena Brooks, age 27, but don't let the age fool you for she was just as beautiful at age 27 to age 17, she also acted more like a teenager than a beginning adult. She could be serious at times, but often wouldn't just to annoy people, she like Resha and Zak had a great fondness for the Harry Potter books. In fact you could say she was the most eccentric Harry Potter fan in all of Dupree. Her favorites so far were the 'Order of the Phoenix' and 'Goblet of Fire' the end of book three was also a favorite, mainly because Pettigrew was in it. Her favorite character in the whole series was Voldemort and Peter Pettigrew, she also loved Snape, she dressed similar to a death eater most of the time, minus the mask and dark mark. Scary enough she thought Wormtail was such a cutie, Snape handsome and brave and Voldemort a brilliant psychopath, not to mention evildoer as well as cool. She had long black hair that went down to her mid-back area, however most of the time it was pulled up into a ponytail. She had red eyes, mainly because of the contact lenses she wore that were red, if they weren't' in however she'd still have peculiar eyes because they were almost yellow, but in actuality a very light green. She was about 6'2, and would often laugh at the irony, as her parents were both 5'6. 'Must be some hidden genes or something' would be what she said to anyone who asked why. She was presently chatting it up with the librarian no doubt once again in a debate over who the HBP was. This was a long and never ending debate that had gone on since the title of the sixth book was released. It was the librarian who was in fact their other friend. The librarian was an old man, very old to be working a library full time, they guessed he was about eight-six or so and he had replied cheerfully, 'it's up around there' before falling silent again or asking questions. The librarian was known as Honest Abe, his name was Abraham Johansson, but most people called him honest Abe they were mainly people who didn't know him that well. Abe was anything, but honest, he was a conniving, sneaky, lying old man. Most of the time his lies did have a small percentage of truth within them, he often said people didn't turn in books just to see how long it took for one to come and say they either couldn't find it or they turned it in already. He had a very odd sense of humor. Abe had a long white beard, he only kept it because he loved going to Harry Potter parties and dressing up as Dumbledore, he looked a lot like Dumbledore actually, and hadn't lost in three years with his Albus Dumbledore costume. Abe was also a fan of Harry Potter and would often be heard reading the books out loud to himself or one of his goats or chickens. Abe had been owner of a farm before moving to Dupree, he had taken most of his animals with him. He had lived in Dupree for the last six years, and had met the twins early on, they helped him get his library set up. They had also helped him make a part of the library into a place for his goats and chickens, as well as Dud and Bud the pigs. The library was Zak worked, and it often crafted great rewards, sometimes Mr. Johansson would give them copies of books or movies in the library or let them read some of the newer books before putting them out for everyone, he still got paid though. The Half-Blood Prince, came out in only a week and they were extremely excited about it, Serena had pre-ordered it from online by using one of only two of the libraries computers, one of them was almost always broken and the other one would often shut down at random intervals, it was also frequently used by the library occupants, especially kids. She had been extremely lucky to have been able to place a hold on it, otherwise they probably wouldn't have been able to read it for another month or so. They were still reading when they heard a light coughing and then a ahem from Mr. Johansson. They glanced at each other and set the books down before quickly seeing what Mr. Johansson wanted.

"Ah good. Children. I have a surprise for you." Mr. Johansson said with a slight smile and a hidden twinkle in his eye.

"What is it Mr. Johansson, did you get a knew book? Or is it a new copy of Eragon since the Grawp(goat) ate it? Come on what is it?" Resha said excitedly

"How many times do I have to tell you?" He glared at the two teenagers and Serena, who just happened to be in the wrong place at the wrong time. "Call me Uncle Abe. I hate those formal titles, did you clean the goat pen yet this morning?" He asked Zak.

"Yeah, it wasn't that bad, had to fix a wall that was beginning to look a little rundown and take a book away from Iola. You are now unfortunately a half of a copy short of 'Artemis Fowl'. Otherwise everything is fine." Zak said bringing a hand to his head and pushing back his hair, a habit he unfortunately had never been able to break.

"Not to worry about it my boy. I was looking for an excuse to order more books and since that is the fourteenth book eaten in the last two months, I might as well see about any new books. But enough of that, when do you want your surprise?" He said with a chuckle as Resha jumped up and down saying 'now, now, now, now, now.'

"Do you need me here?" Serena asked politely, she also worked at the library.

"I would think so. This surprise is just as much for you as it is for them. But before you do, I would suggest going to grab your packs, I'm closing the library early today."

"Okay." Resha and Zak said and went to get their packs, Zak had the first three books in his pack along with some snacks, while Resha had the last two along with a few bottles of water, she also had her money in there, so it was something she definitely didn't want to forget in the library. Serena excused herself for a moment and went to the ladies room. Resha suddenly felt a slight chill go up her spine and thought she saw something shoot over her head, she looked up to find nothing there, she narrowed her eyes, before being snapped out of it by Zak, she shrugged, grabbed the pack and headed back over to Uncle Abe who had begun to hum the 'Darth Vader' theme. Besides being a rabid Harry Potter fan he was also a rabid Star Wars fan, he hadn't seen any of the movies when he first arrived and quickly grew to love them when Serena had showed him the first one, which was actually the third, it took him a while to understand that, but ever since then, he would hum one of the Star Wars songs while waiting for something. Zak at first couldn't believe he'd never seen Star Wars, which then made him realized he probably had never seen Lord of the Rings either, he didn't even see any of the Harry Potter films until Zak showed him how to work the libraries TV and DVD player.

"You got your packs?" He asked, though he needn't of done that, as he could have just looked at them to see.

"Yeah. Why are you so worried? If we did just leave them here we could come back tomorrow and get them." Zak said.

"Yeah. What ya up to Mr.? What is it? Tell, tell, tell." Resha said loudly, causing Uncle Abe to chuckle. Serena came out of the bathroom and gathered back by them.

"Good. You're all here. What this is all about is that I'm going on vacation. I'll be gone for quite a while, I've got a surprise for you before you go. Before you say anything, I want to ask you not to ask where I got this, don't tell anyone either, let's just say I've got friends in high places." Uncle Abe said again a twinkle growing in his eyes. The three looked at him in confusion, before watching as he pulled out three books. He handed one to each of them, they took it and then stared at him in shock. He had handed them each a copy of the Half-Blood Prince.

"H-how?" Serena asked.

"What did I tell you? I said don't ask." Abe said with a grin, yet sternly.

"T-thank you." Zak mumbled out, followed by the other two stammering replies as well.

"Think nothing of it. I may not see you for two to three years and thought to give you the greatest gift I could think of, I have a note on page 197, I recommend you read it now. I won't be able to speak what I want out loud." Abe said with a slight sniffle, but the twinkle still fully in his eyes.

Slowly they each opened up the book to page 197 and read the very small note that was to each of them. Four words, four words and no more.

"I wish you luck."

The threesome looked up at Abe only to discover he was no where to be found.

"What the-?" Resha said angrily.

"Where'd he go?" Serena asked.

"It doesn't matter, we'll ask him when he returns. What was with that four letter word letter?" Zak asked thinking carefully.

"Don't know. He was always slightly eccentric and odd, that's just his way of saying goodbye." Serena shrugged.

"Oh. Yeah you know. You're right." Resha said nodding her head.

"Let's put the books in our packs, don't want anyone seeing these, can't wait to read it later." Zak said smiling.

"Yeah, can't wait to find out what Voldemort has plotted this time." Serena said with a slight smirk.

They all put the books in the bag and each took out a water bottle to make room, they placed the books inside, Serena wouldn't let anyone else touch hers. Suddenly the three of them felt a pull at their navel and there heads started spinning, they watched slowly as time went backwards, and then a real hard pull at their navels and they were sucked into the object.

The three of them were suddenly thrown onto the ground, the ground not like it was when they had left, it was full of dirt and mud, as well as gravel. It was night, pitch black, a shuffling of feet caused the three to stand up. It was then that they noticed they were in a graveyard, tombstones littering the grounds an air of death surrounding the place. Shadows moving closer, it was then they saw the figures, many figures each beginning to circle around them, each moving slowly, but with a deadly silence, they each wore black robes, and in their hands was a stick, they pointed them at the strangers. From the middle of them came a man who was known only in stories. Resha however seemed to be a little out of it and shouted out.

"Whoa sweet Voldy costume. You have to tell me where you got that mask."

The death eaters tried to quiet there silent laughter, but it didn't do much good, because Crabbe started snorting loudly, with the other death eaters also doing similar, tears of laughter streaming down the face of Pettigrew who didn't bother to hide his laughter he was shortly crucio'd. It wasn't what was said that was so funny rather than the thought and look on Voldemort's face, Serena giggled softly when he turned to look at her. Voldemort glared at the three of them, and Serena looked back with affection in her eyes, it was Zak who spoke the three soon to-be famous words for the threesome.

"We're so dead."

A/N: How was it? No humor in this chapter, but in upcoming chapters there will be a ton, this chapter was just an introduction, and the true story begins in the graveyard just after Harry escaped, and will end at the Half-Blood Prince. Hope you enjoyed, bear with me humor will appear, however it is my first try at it so it may seem serious at the beginning. Also any votes for any pairings, I'm planning on Resha getting together with a character (possibly Draco) and Serena getting with a character (between Snape, Voldemort, Wormtail) would like to know who you think would be better between the three. Please read and review, next chapter will be up shortly.