This is a one-shot and a AU (Alternative Universe)

Just read it okay. Please do tell me on what you think about it. I would really appreciate it in a review.

This one-shot is really hard to make. I was up till midnight because of it. And please do not mind the entering or spacing too much, because I really made it that way. Okay, enough talking and on with the story.

Note: you might need a tissue for this one.

Send My Love to Heaven

What can I say about a girl I loved since I
was
ten... that I love the way she laughs at
me when I
commit mistakes, the way she fusses over
silly
things and even the way she cries over
some sad
silly late night show? Somehow, I wished
I could
have told her that I love her but now
there's no hope
in doing so. For now, it's rather too late—
too
late for
me to do so.

She was my best friend and I have known
her since
we were small. She knew all my secrets,
which
reveals my feelings for her, that I love her
not only
because she's pretty and smart but also
the way
she laughs at everything and the way she
sees life
and love.

I could still remember the first time we
met; I was
five years old then. It was one windy
afternoon
having no one to play with except for my
best
friend, Hiei. He and his family just
moved out to
transfer at a neighboring state because
his father
got promoted. And so I climbed up our
tree house,
I saw a moving truck coming down the
street. I
watched it approaching and noticed a
family station
wagon following it. It stopped in front of
the house
and out came a family. I was about to
glance away
when out came the loveliest girl I've
seen. She was
four years old that time but then even at
an early
age she was a beauty. She had long
curly hair,
which reached almost to her waist. She
had fair
complexion and eyes which could make
a man
lose his heart into them. I continued to
watch her
when suddenly she looked up and saw me
watching them in the tree house window.
I was
about to duck when she smiled and
waved her
hand. I waved back then watched in
amazement as
I saw her running towards the tree house.
So I went
to the edge of the ladder and
said, "Would you like
to come up?" she answered, "May I?" So
I help her
climb up and when she reached the top
she then
turned to me and said, "By the way, my
name's
Botan, what's yours?" I answered, "My
name is
Shuiichi but then you can call me
Kurama." She
smiled and said, "Well I like your name.
Hey your
tree house's neat!" then I
replied, "Thanks! Hiei and
I made this. This used to be our hide out.
We used
to goof around, play ball and go biking
together. He
was my best friend and I kind of miss him
you
know." She smiled and said "I'm here
now, we
could do things you do with Hiei and I
could be
your new best friend too. I never had a
boy for a
friend before so it could be exciting to
have one. I
could learn how to play ball and I have
my bicycle
so we could go biking together. Now how
does that
sound to you?" I smiled and said, "Well
that
sounds good enough." Then she held her
hand and
said, "It's a deal then!" So that's how it
started.

So we became best friends and it was
kind of
strange at first for she was a girl and there
are
things which I was little bit hesitant to
indulge her
like catching frogs, swimming in the lake
and
climbing trees, but then she tried and did
everything just to please me. There was
even a
time when she fell off the bike trying to
catch up
with me in a race we had and I was the
one who
bandaged her scraped knee. I could still
remember
the time when she hit the window of our
neighbor
when we were playing baseball and it
was I who
talked to Mr. Taguro and promised to
pay for
the damage, which meant having to
loose a week's
allowance. I remembered the time when
I fell off the
tree when I tried to rescue a little kitten
because
Botan was near to tears when she saw the
helpless
kitten trapped in a branch. I even fought
with the
tough guy when they teased Botan and
made her
cry and I ended up having a black eye
and a
bruised cheek. I remember Botan crying as
she
placed an ice bag over the damaged eye
and later
gave it a get-well kiss. I did everything to
please
her and gave everything her little heart
desires.

The lake was our favorite hang out. We
had our
Saturday swim routine. We would pack
food and
later eat them under the big oak tree.
There was a
special branch in which the two of us
could sit
together and tell each other's dreams.
She dreams
of being a Ballerina and she knows my
dream of
becoming a Doctor. She never laughs at
my
dreams and pursuits even if they were
quite
impossible. It made me like her even
more.

As years went by, I noticed that my
feelings
towards her were slowly changing.
Somehow, I
thought it was just a simple crush case.
But when I
started thinking about her at night,
dreaming of her
and having the feeling of wanting to be
with her all
the time, I thought it was something
different,
something that made me feel strange,
but then it
was exhilarating feeling. It made me feel
so alive.
Whenever our hands touch, I could feel
the tingling
sensation in my spine. Once, when we
were at the
lake having our Saturday swim routine
and as I
carried her towards the water edge, I had
the
feeling of not wanting to let go. I just
wanted that
moment to continue hoping it would
never end. I
then realized I was slowly falling in love
with my
best friend.

Many times I tried to deny the feeling for
I was
scared to imagine what would happen if
ever I'd try
to tell her how I feel about her. I was
scared
because she might think that I'm taking
advantage
of her and our friendship. I was afraid of
losing her
so I just kept my feeling hidden.

We reached the age of fifteen and I
noticed that
Botan grew lovelier each day. How my
heart aches
wherever I see boys glance her way. I
want to
punch their noses as I watch them talking
to her
giving compliments, flowers and
chocolates. There
were times when I watch her at a distance
mixed
feelings of anger and hurt because it
hurts so much
to know that there were so many things I
wanted to
tell her but then I could not do so. There
were so
many presents which I long to give her
but then I
could not for she might see me only as a
friend. I
was also scared of letting her know how I
feel
about her as much as losing her.

Then one day, I just learned from a
friend that she
already had a boyfriend. At first, I tried to
convince
myself that it was just a rumor. Her
boyfriend was
Koenma, a popular senior, who was the
heartthrob of
the campus. She, being the cheerleader
was close
to the basketball team which Koenma was the
captain. When I saw them walking
together at the
parking lot that afternoon, I watched her
with my
heart slowly breaking into pieces. I saw
her wave at
me but I just pretended not to see her for
I was
scared that she might see in my eyes the
pain I'm
feeling inside because of seeing her with
another
guy.

Those days that followed where the
saddest days
of my life. How my heart aches when I
see her
walk by me with him at her side. every
time we
meet in hallways and I see him around
her, there's
a feeling inside me that makes me want
to grab her
away from him. How it hurts to see the
girl I long
possess was now owned by somebody
else. That
special smile I long for her to cast on me
was now
casted on him as she passes by me she
doesn't
know that I whisper the words "God how I
love
you."

Then one faithful day they broke up. She
came too
me that evening crying on my shoulder.
They had a
big fight and it ended up to their break
up. Mixed
feelings were scaring me inside. I was
happy
because she was free and maybe I would
have the
chance of telling her my true feelings for
her but
then I was feeling so bad because she is
crying her
heart out just for him. At that time, I was
not quite
sure of what I wanted to do.

So we found ourselves doing what we did
in old
days with our Saturday swim routine,
spending
time in our tree house. We still enjoyed
doing
childish pranks for we still are both young
at heart.

So many chances I had for me to confess
my
feelings for her but still I couldn't bring
myself
to her
for I was scared of losing her once more. I
once
lost her, now I could not bear of losing
her again by
telling her I love her. So I just kept my
feelings
even
if it was bursting to be expressed from my
aching
heart.

It was a week from our JS Prom, we were
seated
at the branch of an oak tree drying
ourselves after
our afternoon swim when she said, "I was
wondering Kurama if you would like to be my
partner?" It just got out of my wits for it
was like a
dream I never thought would happen. It
took me
awhile to answer her, "I thought there are
so many
boys who would die for you to be their
partner?" So
she turned away and quietly said, "Well I
just
thought I would like to spend that night
with my
best friend." Then she continued in a
whisper I
could barely hear, "Don't you want to die
just like
them to be my partner Kurama?" I was too
stunned to
speak for it came close for me to blurt my
feelings
for her. We we're silent for a while until I
finally
whispered, "I would be happy to be your
partner
Botan." The she smiled and suddenly
kissed my
cheek. I could hardly contain the joy I felt
that
time.
I saw her turned red and bowed her head.
Suddenly
she stood up and run towards the water
saying, "Last one to reach the water treats
to
sundae fudge!" I ran slowed up so that I
would lose
which meant having to have her with me
for another
three hours or more.

Our Prom night came. I bought a new
tuxedo and
poured almost the entire bottle of
perfume. I went
to fetch Botan. Botan's mother greeted me
and I went
to sit in the living room waiting for her to
come
down. I was talking to her father when I
heard her
say, "How do I look?" I look up and saw
her lovelier
than ever in a strapless white dress with
her hair
flowing around her face. I stood up and
opened my
mouth but found out I could not find my
voice. Then
I got her hand shakily fastened the
corsage around
her wrist and whispered, "To the loveliest
girl in the
whole world." She then asked, "Is that
true?" I
nodded and she smiled and I smiled back
then I
turned to open the door for her.

When we arrived at the gymnasium we
hardly
recognized our classmates. Gone were
the jeans
and T-shirts. They were replaced with
tuxedos and
gowns. Then I held out her hand bowed
and said,"
Would you give me the honor of your first
dance?"
She laughed and curtseyed. Then I led
her to the
dance floor.

It was like a dream coming true, a
moment of
enchantment. I was there dancing with
the only girl
I ever loved. She was smiling up to me,
as we were
slowly moving in a smooth gliding
motion. I found
myself lost as I stared down to her
sparkling eyes.
The curls of her long hair were like waves
enhancing her beautiful face. There were
so many
things I wanted to tell her that moment. I
wanted to
tell that she was the most beautiful girl
that
night. I
wanted to tell her that she would always
be the
beacon of light in my darkness, but what I
wanted
to tell her the most was that I love her. I
drew
up all
my courage and bent to whisper it in her
ear but
suddenly the music stopped and the
magic was
gone. I came close to telling her, but still
haven't
done it.

We walked towards the table and found
ourselves
surrounded by friends. I asked her if she
wanted a
drink, she nodded and so I went to get
one. It took
me a long time to get one and when I
returned to
our table, she was gone. I asked her
friend, Keiko,
where she was but she told me that she
doesn't
know. So I went and search for her.

As I was searching for her, I reached the
garden.
There I saw two silhouette figures
outlined by the
moon's silvery light. They were so close
to each
other. I could never describe the feeling I
had when
I recognized the white dress Botan was
wearing that
night. I just turned and left the
gymnasium. Since
that night, I avoided her. Many times she
tried
talking to me but I never gave her the
chance to do
so. I was afraid to hear her say that she
loves Koenma
and not me. I would rather have left in
ignorance of
her true feelings for me than to hear from
those
dreaded words and feel my hope crush
and my
heart break. I didn't return her calls. I
would
not see
her if she comes into our house. In the
hallways,
as she approaches I would go to another
direction.
It also hurts to do those things but then I
thought
that was the best way to forget her. Those
months
were tormenting but still I kept my pride.

The day of our graduation came. I was
planning to
take up medicine at a neighboring state
and was to
move out the next day. As the program
ended, she
approached me and handed me a rose.
As she
stared at me. There was something in her
eyes I
couldn't describe. There was sadness in
them and
when she smiled it wasn't the same smile
she had.
I wanted to hug her at that moment, tell
her that I
love her but then she turned and walked
away from
me.

So I moved out the next day as I
planned. Luckily, I
was accepted at the university. I
concentrated with
my studies but still I think of her at night. I
was
always wondering if she thinks of me too.
I tried
hard not to think of her but still I could
not stop
myself from loving her. Each
achievement I have
was done for her. I thought that if I will be
successful one day, I would be able to
tell her that
I love her and by that time, I'm worthy of
having her.

It was a year after our graduation when I
decided to
return home and see her again. I thought
a year is
too much for me not to see her and
during the past
year I felt like a person lost in the desert
and only
the sight of her could quench the thirst I
have
inside. As I got off the plane, I went
home directly,
desperate to get to her house desperate
to see
her, to hug her. Then I would tell her that
I missed
her and that I have loved her for a long
time. This
time I am determined to let her know my
true
feelings for her and I could not contain
anymore the
love I have for her.

I reached their house; I saw her younger
sister and I
approached her. I smiled at her but I
noticed she
didn't smile back. I was confused for she
used to
be a cheerful lassie just like my dear Botan.
I then
asked," Hi Hinageshi! I guess you're surprised
why I'm
here. Well I just want to visit you and I
was also
hoping to see Botan. I kind of miss her you
know.
Ummm...by the way have you seen
her?" All I
saw was sadness in her eyes as she replied
quietly "Come follow me."

I was confused with the way she's acting
but still I
followed her. As we were walking, I was
trying to
indulge her in a conversation but just
answered my
questioned briefly. Then I realized that
she was
leading me to the direction of the lake. It
was still
the same as I left it, with the same oak
tree Botan
and I used to climb up. I smiled upon
remembering
the kiss Botan gave me when I agreed to
be her
partner. It's been one of the happiest
days in my
life and I realized that I missed Botan
more than I
thought. Then Hinageshi stopped walking and
pointed to
the tree. She then whispered, "There's
Botan."

I looked at where she was pointing and
saw a
newly dug tomb with the name of the girl
I ever
loved. I could not believe at what I saw
and
desperately tried convincing myself that
this is all
just a nightmare and I would soon wake
up.

I stared at Hinageshi in disbelief with her eyes
searching for explanations and slowly
started
saying," It has been a week since she
died. She
died of Leukemia, but even though she
was sick,
she never stopped thinking about you. It
was even
your name she uttered before she died.
She asked
us to bury her here for she always regards
this
place as a place of LOVE. She said that
this is
where she had spent the happiest days
and that
was when she was with you. By the way,
she also
asked me to give you this." She handed
me a
parcel and with that she left.

I slowly opened the parcel and saw that it
contained the dried orchid from the
corsage I gave
her for our prom. Then at the bottom I
saw a letter.
It was dated last month. I opened it with
shaking
hands and started reading...

I know by this time you read this letter I'm
gone. I
just want to tell you that I feel very lucky
and
thankful to God that I had a friend like
you. I would
also like you to know that I had left
something
inside, something I kept from you all
these years. I
love you Kurama, not in a friendly way but
as one who
would feel like spending the rest of my
life with. I
have always loved you even from the
start. I guess
it just bloomed each day that's why the
happiest
days of my life was when you were by my
side.
You just don't know how I dreamed of you
at night
and wake up in the morning and dream
no more for
you are with me. When you are away, I
can't stop
crying because I'm afraid to think that you
are with
another girl. I just can't bear to see you
with
another girl. I just want you all to myself.
I may
sound selfish but that's how I feel. Each
time you
held me close to you was like a dream
coming true
for to be close to you and feel your heart
beating
next to mine was heaven. So many
things I did so
that you will learn to love me but I
NEVER saw a
hint. I did everything to please you
because I love
you so much that I even tried to fool
myself that
you're in love with me too. So many
nights I've
cried when I think of myself unloved by
you. Well
you might think that what I'm saying are
lies but, I
tell you, my heart speaks the truth for I
cannot bear
telling a lie to the one I love.

I know you might be thinking of Koenma but I
just did
that to make you jealous, to make you
see me as
a young woman, capable of loving and
not as the
little girl you used to play with.
Sometimes I
imagined that you were jealous and
fooled myself
that it was a sign that you feel something
for me
too. When Koenma and I broke up and I
came crying,
I just did that to know how you would
react and
with that I'll know that you love me too.
But I failed
for you didn't give me any clue. When
our prom
night came, you just don't know how
happy I was
when you handed me the corsage and
saying that I
was the loveliest girl in the whole world.
While we
were dancing, I wanted so desperately to
hear you
say that you love me too but you NEVER
did.
When Koenma came and pleaded me to
give him a
second chance, I was scared that you
might see
us talking. I didn't want you to get the
wrong
impression so I told him we would talk in
the
garden. There I explained to him that it's
you whom
I really love. What happened next was
that I found
you missing and later learned that you
were
searching for me, I just concluded that
you saw us
together. The next day, I tried to explain
but then
you never gave me a chance to do so.
You
continuously avoided me and never knew
how
much pain I've experienced that time. I
felt the
world crushing on me. In our Graduation
day, when
I approached you, I wanted to tell you
how much I
love you but I decided that I just couldn't
do it. I
could not bear to hear that all you feel
for me is
just brotherly hand of love. For I want you
to love
me as a woman and not as a girl or
playmate. So I
just turned away and left.

Now that saying I LOVE YOU might be
too late,
still I want you to know that I will always
love you
and my heart has always been and will
be yours
alone.

P.S.
Think of me sometimes... and always
remember
that loving you was the best thing that
ever
happened in my life.

I felt my tears falling as I folded the
letter.

I wanted
to shout out to let her know that I love
her, if
not as
much, but more than she did for me. I
love her
more than anything in this world. I knelt
touching
the soil of her grave and rain started to
fall. I
continued crying softly and
whispered, "Oh God,
Send My Love To Heaven."

I know that it's very sad, but what do you think about it. Please review me. And thanks a lot for taking the time to read "Send My Love To Heaven".

In memorable of my brother's ex-girlfriend: she's a bitch for letting go of my brother. Eventhough she's not dead---yet.