I don't own BUGS. All copyright belongs to Carnival productions and BBC television. No copyright infringement is intended nor should be inferred. For SasyRaydorgirl who has reviews all my BUGS stories. Hope this is ok.

Home Truths

Ros had a headache, the gunshot wound to the brain had been the cause of a number of migraines. Sighing she knew she couldn't just curl up on the sofa and feel sorry for herself. Nick was coming to collect the rest of his things, there was work to do and the last thing she wanted was for her ex boyfriend to see her as a weak and feeble woman. That was the last thing she had ever wanted. Sighing heavily she glared at the boxes piled in the corner of the room.

Xxxxxx

Beckett pulled on the blue shirt he had just ironed knowing he had to get to Ros' to pick up his things. He sighed heavily, knowing that Ros wouldn't want to see him - not really. The atmosphere between them had been tense, neither of them allowing themselves to be alone since they had broken up. Since she had ended everything. Fastening the shirt he looked in the mirror. Shaking his head he wondered when it had all gone wrong. Terry? Her abduction? Crystal? He knew it was all those things and more. But he had never given up on her. When everyone else believed her to be dead he hadn't. So why had she given up on him? Deciding questions like that would only lead him to madness he grabbed his wallet and keys before leaving his half decorated flat.

Xxxxxxxx

The tea on the coffee table was already cold by the time Ros even remembered it was there. Her focus was on the few belongings Beckett was due to collect. She closed her eyes, as she let her head rest back against the grey sofa.

"I'm an idiot." She mumbled knowing that it had been her that had ended everything. It had been her that had pushed Beckett away when all he had done was try to be there for her. Shaken from her thoughts as the doorbell rang she made her way to the intercom.

"Hi Nick. Come up." She pressed the buzzer as the door clicked open. Moments later he pushed the door open.

"Hi."

"There's three boxes. I think that's everything? How's Newton?" She knew the little Westie had moved in with him in his new flat.

"Fine. Out with Ed at the moment. He's babysitting for the afternoon." He smiled as Ros folded her arms. "Are you ok?"

"Yes."

"Ros."

"How's Crystal?"

"What?"

"Annoying brunette that follows you around. You can't have failed to notice." Ros knew her voice was dripping in sarcasm. She didn't care. She still loved him but he had moved on and the vacuous Crystal was everything Ros wasn't. Short, petite, feminine. Ros had always been tall, gangly her old PE teacher had called her, fuzzy hair and a definite Tomboy. It seemed Nick had been desperate to meet someone the exact opposite of her.

"Ros."

"Just get your things, Nick." She spat as she stepped away. Nick grabbed her wrist as she did so, forcing her to look at him.

"You told me to go."

"Yes."

"You said it was over. Ros, you didn't want me." His voice caught as Ros glared at him. "You stopped loving me."

"Let me go."

"I already did." He sighed he released her hand as she glared at him. "I never wanted to."

"Moved on fast enough." Ros snapped. Nick felt as though she'd punched him.

"Everyone. I mean everyone thought you were dead. Jan, Alex, Adam. Even Ed but I couldn't give up. They dragged your car out of the Thames. They dredged the river looking for your corpse but I couldn't give up on you. I still have nightmares."

"You think I don't?!" Ros blinked. She had known everything Nick was saying. She knew it had been her pushing everyone away in grief. She's been so angry. Her and Nick were so right together then Terry had abducted her. Her ex husband had ruined everything but he was dead. There was no point in being angry with a dead man. She'd taken all her anger out on the ones she loved. Now she'd lost them all.

"I don't know what to think." Nick sounded genuinely angry. "I'm the last one to claim to understand women but I have no idea what is going on with you." His eyes narrowed. He had been many things but genuinely angry with Ros was not something he was used to. "How dare you break up with me, push me away and then criticise me for meeting someone else?"

"You better go." Ros focused on his shirt. She knew he was right.

"Nick."

He touched her face, expecting her to slap his hand away, to step back and tell him to get lost. Instead her eyes closed as he held his breath. He had no idea what was happening but something in the air changed. He tilted her face up as she looked at him. He was just inches away from her. Another breath and his lips would be on hers. He wiped a tear away from her cheek as she closed her eyes again.

"I don't understand." His voice suddenly softer. "I just."

"Neither do I." She blinked, holding his gaze. "I was shot in the head. I could have died, I should have died but I just kept thinking about you." She whispered. "I'm sorry. I."

"Don't cry." He kissed her. "Don't cry."

She pulled back looking into his eyes. The atmosphere changed as she felt herself pull him close to her kissing him as his hands slid under her shirt. Part of her knew that she should push him away, remind him of his new girlfriend and tell him to go. Another part of her didn't want to let him go.

"Stay." She breathed as he began kissing her neck. "Nick." He pushed her shirt from her shoulders as she stepped back taking his hand in hers. Nick breathed heavily pulling her towards him. He kissed her again putting everything he felt for her into the kiss, hoping actions spoke louder than words. Her hands made short work of his shirt buttons as he pulled the offending garment away from him. Without quite knowing how they had got to her bedroom Nick pulled back unsure of what they were doing.

"Ros." He breathed her name like a prayer as she pulled him towards her, sinking into the mattress behind her they continued kissing, hands exploring each other as more and more items of clothing fell away. He knew he was shaking slightly as he kissed her collar bone. Ros gasped as his hands slid lower.

"I." He paused. Knowing Ros still had every right to throw him out, to tell him this was a mistake. Raising his head to look at her he paused.

"Yeah?"

"I'm sorry. Everything I've done. I'm sorry." She sighed as he kissed her. "Never stopped loving you." She whispered as he continued kissing her bare skin.

"Love you." He whispered as the world around them shattered.

Xxxxxxxxx

Nick was the first to wake up, the late evening sunshine falling through the bedroom window casting shadows. He watched Ros as she slept, a mass of long black curls falling over her skin. He smiled at the image remembering how they had come to be in the position they were. Ros opened an eye as she felt him moving the hair away from her face. He smiled at her.

"Hi."

"Hi." She smiled back. "What time is it?"

"Time I went to tell Crystal it's over." Nick watched as Ros propped herself up on her elbow.

"Really?"

"Yes."

"Don't. Not for me. Finish with her if you must but wait until Alex and Adam are married. At least don't rock the boat so there aren't any big scenes on their big day. It's only a couple of months." Ros reasoned. "Less actually."

"Six weeks."

"Right." He turned on his side to face her.

"We just. What we just." He smiled as Ros blushed. "Was right, it was more than that and I don't feel half for Crystal that I do for you. I'm sorry but if nothing ever happens between us again I can't string her along hoping my feelings change." Ros nodded. She knew he was right.

"Just give me time?"

"Time." Nick smiled at her. "That I can do." He kissed her as they lay back down. Within moments they were asleep once more.

The next time Ros woke she was alone in the bedroom. Grabbing her dressing gown she headed to the living room. Nick had gone but the cardboard boxes with his various CDs and books were still there. Smiling she picked up the note he had left on top of them.

"Ros, you were asleep and I didn't want to wake you. I love you. I always have. Time isn't going to change that. I'll be waiting. However long you need. Nick x"

She smiled as she read the note again knowing things were going to change.

Xxxxxxx

A/n more a strong T than an M. Hope this is ok SasyRadnorGirl. Please review.