You know the drill, I don't own Pokemon or any of the characters at the moment, so don't sue me, but the story itself is mine. As always, R&R and tell me what you thought, even if you hated it!
Oh, and this story tends to jump from present to future fairly frequently so the scenes in the future are in italics to (hopefully) avoid confusion!
********
(Ash, Brock and Misty are at a carnival in Goldenrod city, just wandering around, checking out all of the different attractions. Misty points at a dark purple sign)
Misty: Hey! Look! A fortuneteller!
Ash: Aww, what do you want to see a fortuneteller for? They just make everything up as they go along!
Misty: Hmph. That's just your stupid opinion. I'm gonna go see her (storms off)
Ash: What's HER problem?
Brock: Hmm. It seems that Misty really believes in all this stuff. We'd better follow her and keep her outta trouble.
Ash: (sighs) guess you're right. (Grudgingly follows Brock in Misty's footsteps. There is a rustling in the bushes next to where Ash and co. were stood. Team Rocket pokes their heads out.)
James: Ooohoohoo! A fortuneteller! I would just *love* to see what my future holds. Ooh, a huge house, a gorgeous wife, *fabulous* riches…
Meowth: Ha! You're lookin' into da past! You coulda had all dat wid Jessibelle, remember?
Jesse: Not quite all. I'd hardly call that witch gorgeous.
James: Umm…she looked just like you Jesse…
Jesse: WHAT? How *dare* you compare me to her! My perfection is unrivalled!
James: Can't we just go and see the fortuneteller?
Jesse: (Hits him over the head with a fan) We were talking about me! Stop being so selfish James!
James: Ohh…
(Ash, Brock and Misty are all sat around a table in a small clearing in the forest. There is a crystal ball on a table with an old, haggard woman hunched over it.)
Ash: can we go yet?
Misty: No! She's not even started!
Fortune Teller: Greetings my children. I have come all the way from Ecruteak city, where I have honed my skills for over fifty years. I can tell you as much or as little as you wish to know about your future. Just $10 (holds out a hand)
Misty: Well I wanna know if…
Fortune Teller: Ahem (extends hand a little further)
Misty: Oh, right. (Checks pockets) darn, I only have $3.50.
Brock: (Checks his own pockets) um…let's see…nope, I've only got another $3.00. We're short by $3.50. (Misty and Brock turn in unison to look hopefully at Ash.)
Ash: No! (Looks uncomfortable at their pleading expressions) Awwww…all I got is a dollar.
Fortune Teller: You're still short of $2.50. I can't do reading for free you know.
(Misty looks downheartened, and there is a rustling in the bushes)
James: I could probably stretch to that…
Jesse: You can't be contemplating helping them, can you?
Meowth: For once Jess's got a point. We're da bad guys, remember?
James: I don't see what harm it could do, and this way we'd get to see a bit of all of our futures. (Looks pleadingly and innocently at Jesse) Please Jess!
Jesse: (grumbles) you owe me big time!
James: Heehee! I knew you'd come round to the idea! (The trio jump up from the bushes)
Jesse: Prepare for trouble!
Ash: Oh no, not them please…
Jesse: Quiet Brat! We're not here for your Pikachu! (Turns to Misty) we couldn't help but overhear about your financial trouble and in return for sharing the fortune-telling session, we'll help you out.
James: We'll make up the extra. (Throws money onto the table)
Misty: Hey! Why should we trust you?
James: Let's just say we're two people curious about our future.
Ash: Yeah, but when was the last time you did anything for us?
Jesse: Well, there was that time aboard the sinking ship, the time we almost died to save the planet when you had to put that ice sphere thing with the other two, that time in the Orange Archipelago when we got you into that Team Rocket centre to defeat Butch and Cassidy, out many ingenious ways to wake up that Snorlax….
Ash: All right already! Point taken! Sheesh!
Fortune Teller: Please! May I begin!
All: Go ahead/ yeah sure/ etc.
Fortuneteller: (stares into crystal ball) I see a great Pokemon master, ten years into the future. (Ash sits up and starts paying attention) He's getting married to a beautiful water Pokemon professor.
Misty: Is that...me?
Fortune Teller: See for yourself. (Everybody stares into the crystal ball)
Priest: Do you, Misty Waterflower, takes this man, Ash Ketchum, to be your lawfully wedded husband?
Misty: I do.
Priest: I now pronounce you man and wife. You may kiss the bride.
Ash: Eww! That's gross!
James: (laughs) Nice attempt at a cover-up but we're not fooled. (Nudges him) lover boy!
Misty: (Blushing) yeah…um…I agree…eww, I'd never marry Ash. (Jesse's looking at her with an expression clearly saying, "woman's intuition is a wonderful, nice try but you can't lie to another girl") Honest….
Brock: Well, all I wanna know is this; do I marry officer Jenny or Nurse Joy? The suspense is killing me!
Fortuneteller: Ah yes, Brock, your future is a most interesting one. Let's have a look shall we? (Gazes into crystal ball. It shows a beautiful woman with Joy's body, Jenny's face and turquoise hair with pink streaks.)
Brock: Ahh! She's the most beautiful girl I've ever seen! (The others roll their eyes) No, I really mean it this time!
Fortuneteller: That's paramedic Jey, your future wife. (All gaze into the crystal ball again)
Brock: Honey, I'm home!
Jey: (runs to greet him and embraces him tightly) Hey baby, how was work?
Brock: (yawns) tiring…. I'm about ready to hit the hay, are the kids in bed?
Jey: Yeah, they're all asleep, and it's only 9.30! Why do you want to go to bed so early?
Brock: (raises an eyebrow) Why d'ya think?
(Jesse butts in)
Jesse: Sorry to burst the bubble, but this really isn't what we want to be seeing, let's try to keep this PG-13, OK?
James: What do you mean PG-13?
Jesse: Umm…nothing…
Misty: (Thoughtfully) I wonder if Brock'll ever change...
Brock: And where did Jey come from? I mean, a one-woman man's what I wanna be and it looks like there's just one perfect girl for me.
James: Hey, that's catchy; you should make it into a song.
Fortune teller: In answer to your question Brock, Jey is an anomalous character, resulting from an illicit affair between Viridian Jenny's mother and Celadon Joy's uncle.
Brock: And when will I meet this lovely lady?
Fortuneteller: (mysteriously) when the fates decide...say, how about I show you the future of that Pikachu?
Pikachu: Pika! Chu, chu, pika pi chu pika. [I think that means something to the effect of "Yeah, it's about time I got some attention! I am the star after all!]
Fortuneteller: I believe that this picture will be self-explanatory (all eyes turn to the crystal ball. It depicts the little yellow mouse cuddling up to a jigglypuff. Pichu and Igglybuff, practising thundershocks and singing all at the same time surround them)
Pikachu: Pika! Pi pi chu pika pikachu pi chu pika! [wahey! A jigglypuff marries me! Obviously she was a sucker for fame and fortune!]
Meowth: Don't flatter yaself, Jigglypuff are renowned for being easy. (Pikachu threatens to use thunder)
Fortuneteller: Please keep that thing under control! It may disturb the psychic vibrations in the air!
James: (Notices Jesse looking downhearted) Something wrong Jess?
Jesse: (sighs) I guess we never do capture his Pikachu. Perhaps we're destined for eternal failure, the lowest of the low in Team Rocket.
James: Surely that can't be…there's only one way to find out…(looks hopefully at fortune teller) what does lie in store for Team Rocket?
Fortuneteller: see for yourself. (The picture in the crystal ball depicts a flamboyantly dressed, handsome twenty something, working in a beauty salon. On closer inspection, this turns out to be James.)
James: Huh?
Fortune Teller: You own a successful chain of salons in all the main cities of the world. You're going to be a very rich guy.
(James splutters in disbelief. Jesse looks rather worried)
Jesse: Um, isn't that a bit, I mean, doesn't that make him a bit...well...
Fortuneteller: yes?
Jesse: Um, beauty salons, it all seems a bit…
Brock: A bit what?
Jesse: Well, it's kinda…um…
Misty: For the love of Pokeballs! A bit what?
Jesse: It's more than a little bit fruity you have to admit.
James: (aghast) What are you implying?
Brock *ahem* Gayboy *ahem*
James: Hey! I heard that! Oh, you don't really think that do you?
(Jesse goes to answer, but the fortuneteller intervenes)
Fortuneteller: Jessica, great wealth also awaits you.
Jesse: Huh?
Fortune Teller: You will live out your mother's dream.
Jesse: How did you know about my…
Fortune Teller: I know more than you think. I think you need to see this.
(Jesse gazes intently into the ball. She sees herself sat at a desk in a huge revolving chair, wearing a red suit. She instantly recognises the office)
Jesse: I'm the *boss* of Team Rocket?
Fortuneteller: (nods emphatically) Seven years from now you embark upon the same mission your mother took on all those years ago. You will find Mew and thus achieve the post you see yourself in. (Jesse is speechless)
Meowth: Alright, enough of dis already! What about deir love lives?
James: You stay out of this!
Ash: (sniggering) I think we already know what James' love life is gonna involve!
Jesse: You leave him alone, brat!
Fortuneteller: May I remind you that appearances can be deceiving. I wish to prove this point by showing you a further five years into the future, fifteen years from now.
(The crystal ball shows Brock nervously sitting on a couch in the living room of a huge penthouse. Whoever lives there is obviously very successful. A woman walks into the room, looking even more nervous than Brock. Brock stands up and walks over to this woman. It becomes apparent that this is Misty.)
Brock: Did you get the results?
Misty: Yes.
Brock: And…?
(Misty hugs Brock tightly and she starts crying. Brock hugs her back.)
Brock: Shh, honey, calm down, it's going to be OK. What was the result?
Misty: As if you need to ask.
Brock: You mean…
Misty: I'm pregnant. What's Ash going to say?
Brock: Do you need to tell him?
Misty: Well, it could still be his, I admit it's unlikely, but it might be.
Brock: Yeah, but you're not married to him anymore! If that scumbag thinks he can treat you like that, no respectable man would announce they're getting a divorce straight after sleeping with his wife!
Misty: I still think he has a right to know!
Brock: Well, whatever you think is best Mist.
Ash: What the hell just happened?
Misty: I…I…(looks awkwardly at Ash)
Brock: (avoiding eye contact with Ash and Misty) What happened to Jey? And I thought that those two were really happy together…
Fortune Teller: Ash and Misty were, admittedly, very happy together, but one partner being in the elite four often puts a strain on the relationship…
Ash: I get to be in the Elite four?
Fortuneteller: Yes, but at a price. You lose your wife. As for Jey, shortly after your fifth child was born, she was found having an affair. She got the kids and the house; you had to buy a new place, which is where you and Misty live. Oh, and Ash, for the record, you are now sharing a house with a gay Pokemon master called Gary Oak.
Ash: So, My future is basically completely screwed? I'll just go and slash my wrists…
Misty: Yeah, I have an overwhelming desire to kill myself too…
Fortuneteller: After this session none of you will remember anything that I have said. It would be too risky to know your future. Besides which, it is possible to change your own destiny without knowing it.
Meowth: So we've wasted our cash?
Fortuneteller: Some cynics may argue that, but the ten dollars is non-refundable. Anyway, I haven't even finished the reading yet, I'm not done with you two (stares at Jesse and James) Fifteen years from now…(they both look into the crystal orb. It now depicts an older James relaxing on a couch in a huge mansion. A ten-year-old girl who looks like Jesse but with striking emerald eyes runs into the room.)
Girl: Daddy! You're home! (Hugs him)
James: Hiya honey! (Kisses her cheek) didn't you hear me come in? Where's mommy?
Girl: Oh, she's just coming; she was upstairs with the baby a minute ago.
(An older Jesse walks into the room cradling a small baby. James stands up and embraces her, then takes the baby from her arms. Jesse kisses his cheek.)
Jesse: You're back already! I thought you were working on a client all this weekend…
James: I wasn't going to miss our anniversary!
(Jesse in the present interrupts the scene.)
Jesse: What on earth happened here? I'm married to *James*, with *two* kids?
Fortuneteller: Three, actually. Your other child, who likes to be known as "Vicious" is currently studying at Pokemon tech.
Meowth: hah! I always tought it was just a matter of time before yous twos got it on!
James: Married to Jesse? Ooheeheeheeoohheeheehee…that's scary…
Jesse: (seemingly ignoring James) Hang on, if our daughter is about ten at this point in the future, that means that she was only a very young child when I went on the expedition to find Mew. But...I always swore I'd never let that happen to my own children, not after what I went through when my mother…
Fortuneteller: I know about your mother. I cannot tell you everything of your future, but I assure you that she does play a part, even if only in spirit.
Brock: Wow, this is so depressing…and weird…but mostly just depressing…why would my wife cheat on me?
James: (thinking) well, if we're going to forget this session anyway, can you show us when Jesse and I…y'know…
Ash: Gross!
Misty: This isn't a porn film!
Brock: Not exactly what I'd want to see at the moment.
Jesse: quiet brats! I must say, it'd be interesting to know, even if only for a little while, when me and James are stupid enough to let ourselves fall in love.
Fortune Teller: (shrugs) It won't do you any harm to see…
(The crystal ball now depicts Jesse and James' current quarters at Team Rocket HQ. James is laid back on a sofa reading a novel.)
Jesse: That doesn't look too far into the future….
Fortuneteller: Well, if you want to get picky, that's tomorrow.
Jesse and James: TOMORROW?
(Fortuneteller looks smug. Back in the crystal ball, Jesse walks into the room carrying two custard donuts. She trips and conveniently lands on top of James. He drops his newspaper as custard splatter all over his face)
James: Jesse! What did you have to do that for? That was my favourite type of donut!
Jesse: Ugh. (Scrambles to get off of James. Then stops) we probably should get that custard off your face. (Licks the custard from the end of his nose and cheeks, then moves down until she's kissing his mouth. James looks shocked for a couple of seconds, then wraps his arms around Jesse so that she's laid out flat on top of him and he kisses back.)
James: Ok, I forgive you for the donuts.
Jesse: No, I don't think I deserve forgiveness yet. (She kisses him again. This time, James slides his hands up under her shirt, unfastening her bra)
Misty: Yuck! That's disgusting! (Staring fixedly at Ash) This probably isn't suitable for young kids…
Ash: (seemingly hasn't noticed Misty) Hang on a minute, Jesse and James, The Bad Guys, are the only ones who don't end up with a screwed future? That's hardly fair, they're evil!
Fortune Teller: Are they really? It's what I've been trying to get through to you, the differences between appearance and reality. It's almost time for me to go now. I hope you've all learnt something here. The time to act is now; even the smallest of actions may affect your future in unimaginable ways. You will forget exactly what I have said here but the message will live on. Goodbye. (The fortuneteller disappears into a cloud of smoke. All present stand looking confused for a minute, until Jesse instigates the motto)
Jesse: Prepare for trouble!
James: (Jumps into Meowth balloon, which as usual has appeared from nowhere) Make it double!
Ash: Grr, not them again! Pikachu, Thunder, now! (As always, Pikachu's thunder attack sends Team Rocket flying)
Jesse, James and Meowth: Team Rocket's blasting off agaaaaaaiiiinnnnnnnnn….
Brock: hey, why don't you give them a break for once?
Ash: What?
Brock: Well, I don't know what's making me say this, but I just get the feeling that if we got to know them, they may actually be nice people...hey what's HER name? (Runs towards a girl who's appeared from nowhere. Her hair is turquoise with pink streaks ^_^)
Misty: (sighs) Some people never change…
Ash: Yeah, guess you're right. (Looks up at the sky where Team Rocket were blasted off, shrugs, and follows Misty)
THE END
Oh, and this story tends to jump from present to future fairly frequently so the scenes in the future are in italics to (hopefully) avoid confusion!
********
(Ash, Brock and Misty are at a carnival in Goldenrod city, just wandering around, checking out all of the different attractions. Misty points at a dark purple sign)
Misty: Hey! Look! A fortuneteller!
Ash: Aww, what do you want to see a fortuneteller for? They just make everything up as they go along!
Misty: Hmph. That's just your stupid opinion. I'm gonna go see her (storms off)
Ash: What's HER problem?
Brock: Hmm. It seems that Misty really believes in all this stuff. We'd better follow her and keep her outta trouble.
Ash: (sighs) guess you're right. (Grudgingly follows Brock in Misty's footsteps. There is a rustling in the bushes next to where Ash and co. were stood. Team Rocket pokes their heads out.)
James: Ooohoohoo! A fortuneteller! I would just *love* to see what my future holds. Ooh, a huge house, a gorgeous wife, *fabulous* riches…
Meowth: Ha! You're lookin' into da past! You coulda had all dat wid Jessibelle, remember?
Jesse: Not quite all. I'd hardly call that witch gorgeous.
James: Umm…she looked just like you Jesse…
Jesse: WHAT? How *dare* you compare me to her! My perfection is unrivalled!
James: Can't we just go and see the fortuneteller?
Jesse: (Hits him over the head with a fan) We were talking about me! Stop being so selfish James!
James: Ohh…
(Ash, Brock and Misty are all sat around a table in a small clearing in the forest. There is a crystal ball on a table with an old, haggard woman hunched over it.)
Ash: can we go yet?
Misty: No! She's not even started!
Fortune Teller: Greetings my children. I have come all the way from Ecruteak city, where I have honed my skills for over fifty years. I can tell you as much or as little as you wish to know about your future. Just $10 (holds out a hand)
Misty: Well I wanna know if…
Fortune Teller: Ahem (extends hand a little further)
Misty: Oh, right. (Checks pockets) darn, I only have $3.50.
Brock: (Checks his own pockets) um…let's see…nope, I've only got another $3.00. We're short by $3.50. (Misty and Brock turn in unison to look hopefully at Ash.)
Ash: No! (Looks uncomfortable at their pleading expressions) Awwww…all I got is a dollar.
Fortune Teller: You're still short of $2.50. I can't do reading for free you know.
(Misty looks downheartened, and there is a rustling in the bushes)
James: I could probably stretch to that…
Jesse: You can't be contemplating helping them, can you?
Meowth: For once Jess's got a point. We're da bad guys, remember?
James: I don't see what harm it could do, and this way we'd get to see a bit of all of our futures. (Looks pleadingly and innocently at Jesse) Please Jess!
Jesse: (grumbles) you owe me big time!
James: Heehee! I knew you'd come round to the idea! (The trio jump up from the bushes)
Jesse: Prepare for trouble!
Ash: Oh no, not them please…
Jesse: Quiet Brat! We're not here for your Pikachu! (Turns to Misty) we couldn't help but overhear about your financial trouble and in return for sharing the fortune-telling session, we'll help you out.
James: We'll make up the extra. (Throws money onto the table)
Misty: Hey! Why should we trust you?
James: Let's just say we're two people curious about our future.
Ash: Yeah, but when was the last time you did anything for us?
Jesse: Well, there was that time aboard the sinking ship, the time we almost died to save the planet when you had to put that ice sphere thing with the other two, that time in the Orange Archipelago when we got you into that Team Rocket centre to defeat Butch and Cassidy, out many ingenious ways to wake up that Snorlax….
Ash: All right already! Point taken! Sheesh!
Fortune Teller: Please! May I begin!
All: Go ahead/ yeah sure/ etc.
Fortuneteller: (stares into crystal ball) I see a great Pokemon master, ten years into the future. (Ash sits up and starts paying attention) He's getting married to a beautiful water Pokemon professor.
Misty: Is that...me?
Fortune Teller: See for yourself. (Everybody stares into the crystal ball)
Priest: Do you, Misty Waterflower, takes this man, Ash Ketchum, to be your lawfully wedded husband?
Misty: I do.
Priest: I now pronounce you man and wife. You may kiss the bride.
Ash: Eww! That's gross!
James: (laughs) Nice attempt at a cover-up but we're not fooled. (Nudges him) lover boy!
Misty: (Blushing) yeah…um…I agree…eww, I'd never marry Ash. (Jesse's looking at her with an expression clearly saying, "woman's intuition is a wonderful, nice try but you can't lie to another girl") Honest….
Brock: Well, all I wanna know is this; do I marry officer Jenny or Nurse Joy? The suspense is killing me!
Fortuneteller: Ah yes, Brock, your future is a most interesting one. Let's have a look shall we? (Gazes into crystal ball. It shows a beautiful woman with Joy's body, Jenny's face and turquoise hair with pink streaks.)
Brock: Ahh! She's the most beautiful girl I've ever seen! (The others roll their eyes) No, I really mean it this time!
Fortuneteller: That's paramedic Jey, your future wife. (All gaze into the crystal ball again)
Brock: Honey, I'm home!
Jey: (runs to greet him and embraces him tightly) Hey baby, how was work?
Brock: (yawns) tiring…. I'm about ready to hit the hay, are the kids in bed?
Jey: Yeah, they're all asleep, and it's only 9.30! Why do you want to go to bed so early?
Brock: (raises an eyebrow) Why d'ya think?
(Jesse butts in)
Jesse: Sorry to burst the bubble, but this really isn't what we want to be seeing, let's try to keep this PG-13, OK?
James: What do you mean PG-13?
Jesse: Umm…nothing…
Misty: (Thoughtfully) I wonder if Brock'll ever change...
Brock: And where did Jey come from? I mean, a one-woman man's what I wanna be and it looks like there's just one perfect girl for me.
James: Hey, that's catchy; you should make it into a song.
Fortune teller: In answer to your question Brock, Jey is an anomalous character, resulting from an illicit affair between Viridian Jenny's mother and Celadon Joy's uncle.
Brock: And when will I meet this lovely lady?
Fortuneteller: (mysteriously) when the fates decide...say, how about I show you the future of that Pikachu?
Pikachu: Pika! Chu, chu, pika pi chu pika. [I think that means something to the effect of "Yeah, it's about time I got some attention! I am the star after all!]
Fortuneteller: I believe that this picture will be self-explanatory (all eyes turn to the crystal ball. It depicts the little yellow mouse cuddling up to a jigglypuff. Pichu and Igglybuff, practising thundershocks and singing all at the same time surround them)
Pikachu: Pika! Pi pi chu pika pikachu pi chu pika! [wahey! A jigglypuff marries me! Obviously she was a sucker for fame and fortune!]
Meowth: Don't flatter yaself, Jigglypuff are renowned for being easy. (Pikachu threatens to use thunder)
Fortuneteller: Please keep that thing under control! It may disturb the psychic vibrations in the air!
James: (Notices Jesse looking downhearted) Something wrong Jess?
Jesse: (sighs) I guess we never do capture his Pikachu. Perhaps we're destined for eternal failure, the lowest of the low in Team Rocket.
James: Surely that can't be…there's only one way to find out…(looks hopefully at fortune teller) what does lie in store for Team Rocket?
Fortuneteller: see for yourself. (The picture in the crystal ball depicts a flamboyantly dressed, handsome twenty something, working in a beauty salon. On closer inspection, this turns out to be James.)
James: Huh?
Fortune Teller: You own a successful chain of salons in all the main cities of the world. You're going to be a very rich guy.
(James splutters in disbelief. Jesse looks rather worried)
Jesse: Um, isn't that a bit, I mean, doesn't that make him a bit...well...
Fortuneteller: yes?
Jesse: Um, beauty salons, it all seems a bit…
Brock: A bit what?
Jesse: Well, it's kinda…um…
Misty: For the love of Pokeballs! A bit what?
Jesse: It's more than a little bit fruity you have to admit.
James: (aghast) What are you implying?
Brock *ahem* Gayboy *ahem*
James: Hey! I heard that! Oh, you don't really think that do you?
(Jesse goes to answer, but the fortuneteller intervenes)
Fortuneteller: Jessica, great wealth also awaits you.
Jesse: Huh?
Fortune Teller: You will live out your mother's dream.
Jesse: How did you know about my…
Fortune Teller: I know more than you think. I think you need to see this.
(Jesse gazes intently into the ball. She sees herself sat at a desk in a huge revolving chair, wearing a red suit. She instantly recognises the office)
Jesse: I'm the *boss* of Team Rocket?
Fortuneteller: (nods emphatically) Seven years from now you embark upon the same mission your mother took on all those years ago. You will find Mew and thus achieve the post you see yourself in. (Jesse is speechless)
Meowth: Alright, enough of dis already! What about deir love lives?
James: You stay out of this!
Ash: (sniggering) I think we already know what James' love life is gonna involve!
Jesse: You leave him alone, brat!
Fortuneteller: May I remind you that appearances can be deceiving. I wish to prove this point by showing you a further five years into the future, fifteen years from now.
(The crystal ball shows Brock nervously sitting on a couch in the living room of a huge penthouse. Whoever lives there is obviously very successful. A woman walks into the room, looking even more nervous than Brock. Brock stands up and walks over to this woman. It becomes apparent that this is Misty.)
Brock: Did you get the results?
Misty: Yes.
Brock: And…?
(Misty hugs Brock tightly and she starts crying. Brock hugs her back.)
Brock: Shh, honey, calm down, it's going to be OK. What was the result?
Misty: As if you need to ask.
Brock: You mean…
Misty: I'm pregnant. What's Ash going to say?
Brock: Do you need to tell him?
Misty: Well, it could still be his, I admit it's unlikely, but it might be.
Brock: Yeah, but you're not married to him anymore! If that scumbag thinks he can treat you like that, no respectable man would announce they're getting a divorce straight after sleeping with his wife!
Misty: I still think he has a right to know!
Brock: Well, whatever you think is best Mist.
Ash: What the hell just happened?
Misty: I…I…(looks awkwardly at Ash)
Brock: (avoiding eye contact with Ash and Misty) What happened to Jey? And I thought that those two were really happy together…
Fortune Teller: Ash and Misty were, admittedly, very happy together, but one partner being in the elite four often puts a strain on the relationship…
Ash: I get to be in the Elite four?
Fortuneteller: Yes, but at a price. You lose your wife. As for Jey, shortly after your fifth child was born, she was found having an affair. She got the kids and the house; you had to buy a new place, which is where you and Misty live. Oh, and Ash, for the record, you are now sharing a house with a gay Pokemon master called Gary Oak.
Ash: So, My future is basically completely screwed? I'll just go and slash my wrists…
Misty: Yeah, I have an overwhelming desire to kill myself too…
Fortuneteller: After this session none of you will remember anything that I have said. It would be too risky to know your future. Besides which, it is possible to change your own destiny without knowing it.
Meowth: So we've wasted our cash?
Fortuneteller: Some cynics may argue that, but the ten dollars is non-refundable. Anyway, I haven't even finished the reading yet, I'm not done with you two (stares at Jesse and James) Fifteen years from now…(they both look into the crystal orb. It now depicts an older James relaxing on a couch in a huge mansion. A ten-year-old girl who looks like Jesse but with striking emerald eyes runs into the room.)
Girl: Daddy! You're home! (Hugs him)
James: Hiya honey! (Kisses her cheek) didn't you hear me come in? Where's mommy?
Girl: Oh, she's just coming; she was upstairs with the baby a minute ago.
(An older Jesse walks into the room cradling a small baby. James stands up and embraces her, then takes the baby from her arms. Jesse kisses his cheek.)
Jesse: You're back already! I thought you were working on a client all this weekend…
James: I wasn't going to miss our anniversary!
(Jesse in the present interrupts the scene.)
Jesse: What on earth happened here? I'm married to *James*, with *two* kids?
Fortuneteller: Three, actually. Your other child, who likes to be known as "Vicious" is currently studying at Pokemon tech.
Meowth: hah! I always tought it was just a matter of time before yous twos got it on!
James: Married to Jesse? Ooheeheeheeoohheeheehee…that's scary…
Jesse: (seemingly ignoring James) Hang on, if our daughter is about ten at this point in the future, that means that she was only a very young child when I went on the expedition to find Mew. But...I always swore I'd never let that happen to my own children, not after what I went through when my mother…
Fortuneteller: I know about your mother. I cannot tell you everything of your future, but I assure you that she does play a part, even if only in spirit.
Brock: Wow, this is so depressing…and weird…but mostly just depressing…why would my wife cheat on me?
James: (thinking) well, if we're going to forget this session anyway, can you show us when Jesse and I…y'know…
Ash: Gross!
Misty: This isn't a porn film!
Brock: Not exactly what I'd want to see at the moment.
Jesse: quiet brats! I must say, it'd be interesting to know, even if only for a little while, when me and James are stupid enough to let ourselves fall in love.
Fortune Teller: (shrugs) It won't do you any harm to see…
(The crystal ball now depicts Jesse and James' current quarters at Team Rocket HQ. James is laid back on a sofa reading a novel.)
Jesse: That doesn't look too far into the future….
Fortuneteller: Well, if you want to get picky, that's tomorrow.
Jesse and James: TOMORROW?
(Fortuneteller looks smug. Back in the crystal ball, Jesse walks into the room carrying two custard donuts. She trips and conveniently lands on top of James. He drops his newspaper as custard splatter all over his face)
James: Jesse! What did you have to do that for? That was my favourite type of donut!
Jesse: Ugh. (Scrambles to get off of James. Then stops) we probably should get that custard off your face. (Licks the custard from the end of his nose and cheeks, then moves down until she's kissing his mouth. James looks shocked for a couple of seconds, then wraps his arms around Jesse so that she's laid out flat on top of him and he kisses back.)
James: Ok, I forgive you for the donuts.
Jesse: No, I don't think I deserve forgiveness yet. (She kisses him again. This time, James slides his hands up under her shirt, unfastening her bra)
Misty: Yuck! That's disgusting! (Staring fixedly at Ash) This probably isn't suitable for young kids…
Ash: (seemingly hasn't noticed Misty) Hang on a minute, Jesse and James, The Bad Guys, are the only ones who don't end up with a screwed future? That's hardly fair, they're evil!
Fortune Teller: Are they really? It's what I've been trying to get through to you, the differences between appearance and reality. It's almost time for me to go now. I hope you've all learnt something here. The time to act is now; even the smallest of actions may affect your future in unimaginable ways. You will forget exactly what I have said here but the message will live on. Goodbye. (The fortuneteller disappears into a cloud of smoke. All present stand looking confused for a minute, until Jesse instigates the motto)
Jesse: Prepare for trouble!
James: (Jumps into Meowth balloon, which as usual has appeared from nowhere) Make it double!
Ash: Grr, not them again! Pikachu, Thunder, now! (As always, Pikachu's thunder attack sends Team Rocket flying)
Jesse, James and Meowth: Team Rocket's blasting off agaaaaaaiiiinnnnnnnnn….
Brock: hey, why don't you give them a break for once?
Ash: What?
Brock: Well, I don't know what's making me say this, but I just get the feeling that if we got to know them, they may actually be nice people...hey what's HER name? (Runs towards a girl who's appeared from nowhere. Her hair is turquoise with pink streaks ^_^)
Misty: (sighs) Some people never change…
Ash: Yeah, guess you're right. (Looks up at the sky where Team Rocket were blasted off, shrugs, and follows Misty)
THE END