you are only eighteen and you have nothing to lose
.
…it hurts to have your heart broken in two…
Lorcan Scamander is afraid of only one thing. An irrational fear no one knows about; he's afraid of falling in love, he's afraid of trusting someone this much, of giving himself up to such a point that he wouldn't care to get hurt, up to the point where he would allow someone to hurt him.
If the dozens of girls he's flirted with over the years were let in on the secret, they would laugh and say it couldn't be true. It is really odd for someone like Lorcan to be afraid to open up in case he gets hurt. Lorcan Scamander is outgoing and reckless, a little too much of anything- too indifferent, too stubborn. But still, despite his risky personality he's too scared to open up.
…falling in love is easy to do…
Eight years ago, when he was ten and she eighteen, Rose Weasley told Lorcan something that he would never forget. She told him that her parents were right, that she was indeed too young to say she was in love with Scorpius Malfoy. She had no experiences, and love at her age; love in her case was too easy. (In fiction you write numbers from ninety-nine and smaller down as words, from 100 onwards you can write the numbers ;)
She knew that they were right, she said, but she didn't give a damn about that. She's might get hurt, true. But she was going to live it first.
Lorcan was staring at her, eyes wide open, unable to realize how shy and obedient Rose- the good girl, as everybody said- could do something that she acknowledged as wrong. When he asked her, she laughed and told him that one-day he'd find out for himself.
But now Rose and Scorpius are married and Lorcan is older, and he still can't understand.
…you're living a dream, with the sand in your shoes…
Lucy Weasley is full of love. That's what Molly told her once. And it's true; Lucy cares for everyone and tries her best to see them happy. Each one of her cousins knows that they can go to her when in trouble and she will welcome them and help them.
She's a happy person, full of love, full of life, full of confidence,and sweet, charming, funny, friendly. She's living the moment; she's living for the moment. That's what her father taught her: Never give up on the ones you love, never push away the ones that love live the moment and don't think too much because you'll lose life or make the wrong choices.
Lucy also is everything Lorcan is afraid of. That's why he doesn't pay too much attention to her, in fear that she'll break him. She's careless and indifferent, but not in the arrogant way he is; Lucy cares for people. She just doesn't care for consequences. And that scares him.
…we fell in love, chasing the sunset through another empty town…
He's sitting by the sea near the Shell Cottage, seeking some peace; away from the nosy Weasleys who he loves so much- they are a huge part of his life- but doesn't want them around when he wants to relax.
And then he sees her. Her hair is messy but she doesn't seem to mind. The wind raises her dress but she laughs. She holds her shoes in her hand and walks in the water, smiling.
Lucy Weasley. She's beautiful. How could he not notice before? They've been friends for years, not best friends, but, well, he has spent most of his childhood Saturdays with her and her family. She's a great girl, he realizes as he reminisces the past days.
She must have noticed him staring because she smiles and waves at him, running to his direction.
"Hey, Lorcan," she greets. "What are you doing here?"
He motions for her to sit next to him, a small smile greeting her. "I just needed some time alone. You people are quite a family!" he jokes. "You?"
She smiles back. "Every time we visit Aunt Fleur and Uncle Bill I come here. Their house is on such a beautiful place…"
"Yeah…"
When she takes her eyes from the sea she turns to him and makes the most unexpected question. "How does it feel to be out of Hogwarts?"
He looks at her questioningly. "Okay, I guess…"
"Aren't you anxious about what you are going to do from now on?" she asks, surprise obvious in her voice.
He shakes his shoulders. "Not really. I always knew I wanted to try Gringotts,like your uncle Bill. But not as a curse breaker… I'm in for the goblins."
Her eyes open wide. "How's that?"
"My mother; she was always interested in everything odd and inapproachable. And that kinda made me like that too. I don't like rare plants or animals but I was always interested in goblins. They have a completely different culture."
She laughs. "Your eyes sparkle."
"What?"
"You talk about them and your eyes sparkle. I've never seen you like that before. And I've never seen you open up either."
He appears skeptical for a while. She is right; he's talking to her out of the blue about things he usually doesn't share with anyone. Is Lucy Weasley's innocence enough to make him forget his fears?
Lucy looks at him for a little more before getting up. "Come!" she orders taking his hand and pulling him with her.
"Where?"
"Anywhere! This place is just too nice for you to sit and think. Have fun for a little, Lorcan!"
He stares at her confused and irritated. "I have fun."
She scowls. "I mean real fun! Not parties and flirting and… whatever else you do…"
"And, after the nice way you used to approach me, you think I'll come?" he smirks.
She grins in response. "Approached you? Merlin, Scamander. Let's go see what's there apart from the beauty, shall we?"
"Was that a metaphor?"
But she's already gone, running towards some rocks. He sighs and follows her. It will be an adventure like those they pretended they were in as kids, playing with their siblings. But this time he doesn't need to pretend; Lucy Weasley is an adventure herself.
…it's suicide, looking in your pale blue eyes…
From that day, he joins the Weasley every weekend and tries to spend time with Lucy at the beach or wherever else. He liked her, he realizes, and the fact that she doesn't seem to mind his presence gives him hope that maybe she can like him back- even a little bit.
"Why do you keep coming here?" she asks him one rainy afternoon, when they sit by the window, her looking outside, him looking at the ground. They both understand that what she means by 'here' isn't the house.
"I don't know," he answers honestly. "I like it."
She nods, looking skeptical, and that makes him growl.
"What?"
He laughs. "I know you are thinking of something crazy, Luce. Just say it."
"Oh, you think you know me that well?"
"Yes."
She stares at him, still thinking. "Come outside with me."
"In the rain?" he asks, unable to believe what he's hearing.
But once again she's far-gone and he signs before following her.
Outside, she's standing in the yard with her back at the door, at him.
"I love the rain," he murmurs.
That makes her turn to face him.
"And that's you, loving something…" she notices sadly.
'I love other things too… and people," he tells her, moving closer to her.
"Do you say it to them?"
"Sometimes."
He's really close to her now and, feeling his breath on her cheek, she can count every raindrop on his face. It's Lucy who makes the first move, bringing her hands to his shoulders, holding him tight. He caresses her cheek, pushing the wet hair away from her eyes. She's staring into his eyes and he stares back; his eyes like dark skies, hers like calm seas. And he's leaning down to kiss her, because if he doesn't do it, it will hurt more.
…easy to do, yet I'm falling for you…
Summer is close to an end and that hurts him more than anything else. When he's with her nothing matters, when she's away, all he does is think and calculate. She's leaving for school soon and he's staying here. And they'll be apart and away and, oh, who knows what might happen?
He doesn't doubt his feelings. He doesn't even doubt hers. He doubts life and distance… And he's scared. For the first time in his life, he doesn't know what to do.
"Stop it," she tells him.
"Huh?"
"Stop it!" she repeats, louder this time - more decisively.
"Stop what?" he wonders.
"Calculating. Analyzing. Worrying. Stop thinking of what I know you are thinking of!"
"Lucy," He sighs, "you know I'm right - long distance relationships just don't last."
"Don't give me that crap, Scamander!" her voice is bitter and her eyes are watering and just looking at her, breaks his heart. "Either you're an idiot, being afraid that I may break it off, or a duce, using me for a summer romance."
He kisses her, bringing her close and she fights him for a little before giving in.
"Do you really believe that? Do you really believe I'd do that to you?"
"Then don't give up on me!" she begs him. "We may haven't been close before, but I know you better than you think. You just don't open up because you are scared! Honestly, I can't tell what of but…"
He silences her with another kiss.
"You think you know me that well, huh?"
She smiles. "Don't give up on me. Don't give up on yourself…"
He closes his eyes and lets her persuade him. He can't remember what he had to lose, anymore. He can't remember why he didn't take the risk before.
And suddenly, he understands that it doesn't matter if he gets hurt because he's young and if he doesn't live now, he won't ever. Lucy is right, Rose was right.
He'd been wrong all along. Or maybe he'd just been waiting for the right girl.
Written for Ela, HollywoodNights. Happy Birthday, dear! (I'm really late, I know:S)
I've been reading Lucy/Lorcan a lot lately so I decided to give them a shot.
Lyrics by This Providence, song Sand in your Shoes. It's a lovely, you should listen to it;)
Beta read by SoUsay234, to whom I want to apologize for all the confusion my holiday schedule brought her:/
