Summary: The day Yamanaka Ino discovered her first wrinkle would go down in infamy for Konohagakure and its residents.

Disclaimer: Naruto is (c) Masashi Kishimoto and Shueisha, Inc.

AGING (DIS)GRACEFULLY

The day Yamanaka Ino discovered her first wrinkle would go down in infamy for Konohagakure and its residents.

It was no secret that the telepath took considerable pride in her appearance. With fair skin, long golden-spun hair, riveting azure eyes, and a heart-shaped face that was in perfect proportion, she was so aesthetically pleasing that not even her contrary otto could find fault. She was a renowned beauty of the five great shinobi nations, and reputed to have no shame in using these striking looks to achieve her own ends. Thus, the manifestation of a perceived flaw was enough to send her reeling.

Like most females when confronted with a similar situation, Ino sought out her best friend – Uchiha Sakura. Many would argue that the broadly popular medical-nin, with her equally fair complexion, roseate tresses and emerald orbs, was just as lovely as Ino. But, be forewarned, this was not the day for such comparisons.

Unlike most females when confronted with a similar situation, Ino did not seek Sakura's company to be mollified. Instead, upon locating the other kunoichi conversing with her childhood teammates near Ramen Ichiraku, the blonde bombshell stormed forward and gave her… perhaps frenemy would be a better word… an accusatory poke to the forehead.

"Pig!" Sakura screeched at the unexpected assault.

Ino poked her a second time for good measure.

Taking a defensive step back, Sakura agitatedly rubbed the violet rhombus she had inherited from the teachings of her master. "What in the hell is your problem, Ino-pig?!"

"Drop it," Ino loudly ordered. "I know you're using a permanent version of the transformation technique, like Tsunade-shishou! Ugh! You and that sickeningly precise chakra control! There's no way you don't have a single wrinkle while I-"

Ino stopped mid-sentence, realizing what she had been about to disclose to their swiftly growing audience. She had already said too much, however, and Sakura did not attempt to contain the gleeful smirk elicited from her embarrassing slip-up.

"Finally noticed the emergence of those crow feet, eh, obaa-chan?"

"Billboard brow!"

"I hate to disappoint," Sakura persisted without sounding as if she hated it in the least, "but I'm not using the transformation technique. My lack of age lines is au naturel, which is probably due to superior genes."

Ino literally growled at the suggestion that Sakura was in any way superior to herself. Then, before anyone could assimilate what was happening, the infuriated mentalist pounced. She and her target crashed to the dirt in a tangled heap, shinobi tactics completely disregarded as the pair reverted to juvenile hair-pulling, pinching and scratching in substitute.

"Let's see how pretty you are once I'm finished," Ino threatened.

"I could have three eyes, fish lips, be covered in warts and still be prettier than you," Sakura fearlessly taunted.

"Arrrrgh!"

As the two women continued to scuffle, Uzumaki Naruto, Uchiha Sasuke and Sai kept their distance while watching the spectacle. They were at a loss as to how to proceed. Ino and Sakura's disputes were frequent and oftentimes ear-splitting, but they had never actually been volatile. Also, though the three men would not admit it aloud, the prospect of getting between the fighting banshees was quite intimidating.

"Did Sakura-chan just bite Ino?" Naruto asked in shock as the mêlée took a more aggressive turn.

Sai, who had decided to retrieve his art supplies and commemorate the occasion with a sketch, responded with an indifferent shrug. "To be fair, I think Ino bit her first."

The gathering crowd was now four or five people deep. Currency was exchanging hands as wagers were being made on the outcome. Hoots and hollers could be heard from all fronts, encouraging Ino and Sakura's antics. The scene was bedlam.

Sasuke was, at last, compelled to pose the question in which they had all hoped to avoid. "Shouldn't we intervene?"

"No way," Naruto protested, starting to get into the spirit of things. He eagerly withdrew his beloved Gama-chan wallet to make a bet, giving no consideration whatsoever to the identities of his companions. "This is hot! The only thing missing is some mud for them to wrestle in."

The offensive comment led both Sasuke and Sai, as dutiful spouses, to shoot the obnoxious jinchuuriki a withering glance.

"What?" he defended. "I may be married, but I'm neither blind nor a saint!"

"Naruto-kun!" a new voice called over the squabbling kunoichi and unruly throng. As if beckoned by his misbehavior, Uzumaki Hinata appeared. With difficulty, she maneuvered her way through the crush to reach his side.

Uncomfortably kneading the back of his neck, Naruto gave a noticeably fictitious laugh and greeted his tsuma. "Hinata, what a coincidence running into you here! Are you on your way to the market?"

"What's going on?" she anxiously quizzed, ignoring his address.

"Well, Ino went berserk…"

At that exact moment, Ino and Sakura were rolling on the ground, each vying for dominance. Apparently, by unspoken agreement, chakra was not being utilized. Barbs and buffets were being exchanged but no brain-scrambling on Ino's part and no bone-crushing on Sakura's part, to Hinata's immense relief.

Not really hearing Naruto's explanation, Hinata pushed past him and stammered, "W-we have to s-stop them!"

The byakugan wielder got close enough to grasp an arm, albeit uncertain as to whom it belonged, ere recognizing her mistake. She had failed to account for the elevated strength of two women when infuriated and, rather than draw Ino and Sakura apart, found herself being dragged into the fray. After receiving an unforgiving elbow to the nose and losing a large clump of hair to one particularly vicious tug, she forgot about halting the conflict entirely. Hinata was all in.

For years to come, the village's denizens would fondly recall the day that the head medic for Konoha Byouin, commanding officer for the Torture and Interrogation Force and Hokage's wife, heiress of the staid Hyuuga clan, brawled in the street like common hooligans. The skirmish did not even conclude when a warning crack of thunder rent the air or at any time during the steady downpour that followed.

As the triumvirate grappled in the mud, a select few were so fortunate as to be within earshot of their esteemed Hokage when he shared his opinion on the matter. It was recounted far and wide.

"Best. Day. Ever."

THE END

Terms to Know:

Chakra: Basic energy source necessary for ninja to perform jutsu.

-chan: Diminutive suffix, expresses that the speaker finds the person referred to endearing.

Gama-chan: Toad, froggy.

Hokage: Leader of Konohagakure, generally regarded as the strongest person in the village.

Jinchuuriki: Humans that have tailed beasts sealed within them; they exhibit extraordinary powers due to the immense chakra reserves they possess.

Konoha Byouin: Leaf Hospital.

-kun: Suffix used by females when addressing a male that they are emotionally attached to or have known for a long period of time. Also has other meanings, but they are not applicable to this fanfiction.

Kunoichi: Female ninja.

Medical-nin: Ninja who specializes in medical treatment and the use of medical-oriented techniques to heal others.

Obaa-chan: Grandma.

Otto: Husband.

Ramen Ichiraku: Small restaurant in Konohagakure that serves ramen.

Rhombus: A diamond-like mark, generally on the forehead, that indicates the "Strength of a Hundred Seal" (reputed to be the pinnacle of chakra control).

Transformation Technique: A ninja technique used to change one's appearance, such as becoming another person, animal, plant, or even inanimate object. Tsunade uses the technique to appear younger than she really is.

Tsuma: Wife.

Shinobi: Ninja.

-shishou: Master, teacher.