Empty Chinese food cartons littered the coffee table. Sam and Daniel sat on the couch and finished the food on their plates in silence.
Daniel finally put down his plate, placing the chopsticks on it neatly. "He's not okay."
"Probably not. But the Colonel is very private. He'll deal with this." She crumbled her fortune cookie wrapper into a ball and tossed it into one of the empty cartons.
Daniel huffed impatiently. "I know what he's like, Sam. He's going to bury this and I'm not sure he should."
"That's his business." Her voice came out a bit sharper this time.
"Is it?" He shook his head. "We're his friends, his teammates. Who else can he talk to about this? We're so fucking isolated in this job that we do."
Sam looked at him in surprise. "I don't think I've ever heard you swear before."
Daniel ran a hand through his hair. "I don't usually feel the need." He paused. "Sam, this is not a guy thing I can help with."
"Because I'm a woman I'm supposed to know what he's going through?" She glared at him.
"What? No!"
Sam tamped down her irritation. "Then what?"
Daniel sighed. "I lost Sha're. And Jack lost his son. So I understand that kind of grief. But he keeps losing him, Sam. I can't—I can't even imagine…."
"Neither can I. So what makes me more qualified than you to talk to him? Or qualified at all?"
Daniel looked her straight into her eyes. "Do you want the logical reason or the real one?"
She lifted her chin. "Both."
"Okay. Logically? You've been a host. You know what this Charlie will be dealing with and you've seen how it benefited your dad. Knowing Charlie will be going on to a long and healthy life is something you can stress." He gestured apologetically and ducked his head a little. "You had a very different time with Jolinar, but your father and Selmak seem to have a good partnership. For Charlie, to have just lost his mother, an older, wiser person in his head might be comforting for him. And I think this will mean more coming from you than from me."
He fell silent and Sam grew impatient. "Come on, Daniel, let's hear the real reason."
Daniel stood and walked to the front door. Opening it and keeping his back to her, he said quietly, "Teal'c and I will support anything you and Jack decide to do, Sam. And it doesn't need to be discussed." And he was gone.
Sam sat, shocked, as his words sunk in.
Which is why, two hours later, she ended up at the colonel's door. The look on his face was not welcoming.
"Yes, Captain? Something you need?" Jack held up an open bottle of beer more as a barrier than an invitation.
"Yes, sir." She stiffened her spine and walked past him into the house.
"Well, Captain?" He stood, impatiently, still holding the door open.
"I want to talk to you, sir."
"Can this wait? I think I'm entitled to a little down time." His expression was shuttered, remote.
Sam took a deep breath. "That's what I want to talk to you about, sir."
"Oh, here we go." Jack shut the door with a little slam and stalked into the living room, swigging a mouthful of beer. He sat and gestured. "Well, sit if you're sitting. Want a beer?"
"No, sir, thank you."
"How many more times can you say sir in one minute, Carter?"
"How many more times can you say Carter?" she shot back.
He blinked, a crack in his reserve before the walls went up again. "What am I supposed to call you?"
"Nothing," she muttered, appalled at how fast she had crossed the line.
"Nothing? I wouldn't call you nothing, Carter. Right now I'd say you were pretty something." His smile taunted her. "Where's Daniel? I half expected him at the door."
Resolutely, Sam sat next to him on the couch, facing him. "He thought…" She sighed. "He thought we should talk. About what happened."
"About what happened? Good idea. Another alien comes through the Gate, almost gets us killed, almost gets himself killed, and yet we had a happy ending. Great how it worked out, huh?" He took another swig of beer and looked surprised when Sam grabbed the bottle and took a swig of her own.
They stared at each other and Jack sighed. "Go on, then."
She took a deep breath. "Sir, Daniel thought I'd be better at this because I can relate to the life Charlie will have now." She winced. "That is, the way my father lives with Selmak, not what I had with Jolinar." She looked away from Jack's incredulous stare. "I'm crap at this. But Daniel's right. Even though my experience wasn't—good—Charlie will have a life now, and isn't that the important thing?"
"Is it?" There was a strange tone in his voice.
"What else is there?" Her hands knotted together and a bead of sweat trickled down her back. Give her an enemy and an MP-5 any day compared to this.
He gave her a half grimace, unknowingly wishing for the same. "First, can we stop with the ranks? This isn't going into a report." He eyed her sharply. "Is it?"
"No, sir—Jack," she qualified.
He nodded, staring at the coffee table in front of him before scrubbing his eyes with one hand and then dropping it to his thigh in frustration. "For God's sake, Sam, these aliens are screwing around with my head and I'm supposed to take it in stride. And they're using my son!"
"Sir—Jack, they don't mean to—I mean—"
"Yeah, they do. Look at the crystal alien, forming into Charlie because it saw a hole inside me. Then this little guy came and…" he faltered.
"He filled it," she said softly.
"Yeah. Yeah, he did. And I lost him. Again."
"He's still alive."
"He's got a fucking snake in his head now!" Jack snarled.
"So." The clear, cool tone made him stare. Sam met it, blue to brown. "So my father is just a man with a snake in his head. And I—" now it was her turn to falter. "I had Jolinar. So I guess that makes me the snake-that-was person." She stood and turned to leave.
In an instant, he was in front of her. "God, Sam, I didn't mean that! You know what I mean. He's not the same kid! He's not a kid now!"
She took a deep breath and met the hurt, wounded glare with one of her own. "Who am I then? What am I?" she whispered.
His hand reached up to touch her cheek. "You're Sam." He bent as if to kiss her and then jerked back. "You'd better go."
"No."
"No?" Dark eyes turned even darker. "What's that, Captain?"
"So now you want to use my rank, sir? We're not done."
"What else is there to say?" A few heartbeats went by. Jack added quietly, "That won't get us in trouble?"
"Daniel…" she hesitated, then touched him on the arm, watching his eyes flare with heat. "Daniel told me that I was the logical person to come here because of the Tok'ra. But he told me the real reason was…whatever you and I decided, he and Teal'c would support us."
He stared, startled, into those blue, blue eyes. "And what do you want to do?" he whispered.
"I—I want…."
"Come on, Sam," Jack whispered. "What do you want?"
"What do you want?" she whispered back.
He leaned forward until his breath tickled her ear. "You have everything to lose here. I'm not fucking up your career."
Sam gripped his shirt and pulled back to stare into his eyes, desperation pouring out of hers. "I'm not asking you to. But I want this. I do. What else have we learned except that all we get is today, every single day? Please, Jack."
Her words hit like a hammer, shattering the walls of his reserve, and his mouth found hers greedily, stroking her lips with his tongue. Sam opened her mouth with a little moan and he gripped her hair tight with one hand while stroking down to the small of her back with the other. His tongue probed and stroked and tasted while she pressed against his body and kissed him back, following his rhythm with her mouth and hips.
When they broke apart they were trembling with the intensity of the moment.
"Sam." That was all Jack said, waiting.
She smiled and he finally smiled back and led her to the bedroom. There was no hesitancy as they came into each other's arms. Jack caressed her shoulders with calloused fingertips, stroking down to reach the hem of her shirt and pull it up and off. Sam flushed at the approval in his eyes, but most of all, treasured the openness of his expression.
"Sam?"
Sam blinked and smiled, running her hands over his chest before bunching the material up and tonguing his nipples, pressing little nips around them. Jack hissed but after one sharp jerk, held himself still as she licked and sucked until he couldn't take anymore and held her away.
She smiled slyly and pulled off his shirt, massaging his shoulders, enjoying the feel of his hard, wiry muscles flexing and jumping under her fingers. An evil glint in her eyes was the only warning he got as she palmed him through his pants and squeezed lightly.
"S-Sam." Jack's eyes glazed over and then he shook it off and matched her grin with one of his own.
Sam suddenly found herself on the bed, her pants stripped off. She laughed softly. "See anything you like?"
"Definitely." He hooked a finger inside the leg of her panties and her breath caught. He smiled wickedly before bending down to tongue her inner thigh, reveling in her gasp. "I'm going to have so much fun with you," Jack whispered between her legs.
"I believe you." Sam stared down her body and shivered.
"Lean back, Sam." When she obeyed, he spread her legs wide and fastened his mouth on her through her panties. His arm kept her pinned as she bucked wildly, and he sucked the material hot and wet before sliding a finger underneath the lace. Her moans almost made him fuck her right then but he knew what he wanted first. He yanked the panties down and off her legs before returning to the softness between her thighs and tongued her there, long and deep. He added a finger, then two, to fuck her gently while he tasted and sucked and licked.
Sam spasmed suddenly, muscles contracting hard and fast before finally petering into a still pool of calm. She looked at Jack, who watched her in awe. "My—" she cleared her throat and tried again. "My turn, I believe."
"In a minute."
"Why?" Sam challenged.
There was that shit-eating grin. "When you can sit up, it's your turn."
She harrumphed and lifted up by her elbows. She flopped back, much to her chagrin, and struggled to get up.
"Sam." Jack helped her sit up, unclasping her bra. He slid it off her shoulders and bent down to suckle, nuzzling her breasts.
"You're doing all the work," she gasped, arching, feeling herself get wet again.
"You'll make up for it," he murmured, leaning back with a small smile.
"Oh, will I?" Sam crawled up to him and delicately traced her tongue over the head of his cock. His head tilted back and he breathed through his mouth, eyes glazed. It was all she needed, sucking hard and deep, a hand fondling his balls, hitting all the pressure points that made him swell and let her taste his acrid sweetness in her mouth.
Jack shoved her away. "Not the first time," he managed to say. Then he groaned and smacked his forehead. "Sam, I don't have anything in the house. I—oh, fuck."
Sam slid off the bed and picked up her jeans. Jack watched miserably, certain she was leaving. She grinned at him over her shoulder and pulled out a few condoms from her back pocket. His jaw dropped.
"Jack O'Neill stunned," she laughed. "Wish I had a camera for that." She edged back to the bed and flushed even while smiling. "I made a stop on my way over here. The box is in the car."
"We'll get it later," he promised, pulling her down alongside of him. She laughed again and he rolled the condom on quickly and positioned her under him. He brushed a few strands of hair away from her face. "Sam."
That was all he said before he entered her. They never broke eye contact as he fucked her slow and smooth, beads of sweat forming on his forehead. They felt it then, the slow rumbling vibration as Sam began trembling. Jack slid his hand down and rubbed gently through the wet curls until she arched once more and came apart in his arms. He quickened his pace, pumping into her with short, hard moves until he, too, came with a long, satisfied groan.
"Mmmm." Sam rubbed her face against his shoulder as they separated and curled up comfortably, her body now draped over his.
"Mmmm?" Jack eyed her quizzically.
"That's all I've got."
"That'll do." His eyes darkened. "Sam…."
"If you tell me this was a mistake, I'm going to recalibrate the MALP to attack you the next time we're off-world."
"Promise?" Jack laughed softly. "I wasn't going to say this was a mistake."
"Oh. So what were you going to say?"
He hugged her tighter, then relaxed. Staring up at the ceiling, he said quietly, "I'll miss him."
"I know."
"Maybe when he's a bit older, we can tell him how he got us together."
"Many years from now?" she suggested.
"Decades, Carter," Jack smirked. "He's still a little boy."