Rating: PG-13
Pairing: Hisoka x Illumi
Genre: Humor, Shounen-ai, Yaoi on some point.
Summary: Hisoka disturbs Illumi in the middle of the night. For what reason, you ask? Why don't you check it out yourself? Hisoka x Illumi shouen-ai and at some point also a blunt yaoi. A little humor thrown in.
Author: Noeleen a.k.a ff-mistress (boyish_temptress_05@yahoo.com)
A/N: I did this fanfic because of the constant nagging I got from my younger sister, who was demanding rated PG and PG-13 fics because she was; heaven forbid; eleven years old. -_-; langyang buhay talaga to… Eh katorse lang naman rin ako... *sighs*
Discovering of Us
Black eyebrows are furrowed together in clear irritation as he thought of what the other just told him. "Let me get this straight, you called me here in the middle of the night to help you with this…" It took him all the self-control of a trained assassin to prevent him not to whack Hisoka at the back of the head. His usually remote black eyes, for once held utter disbelief while he thoroughly inspected what the magician find so damn hard that he needed his help, hoping that this wasn't what it looked like really.
In the middle of the night, with him in deep sleep for the first time in many weeks, the magician just had to disturb him for the most absurd need of his service he ever encountered from his clients.
Hisoka only nodded in agreement, his usual annoying smirk wasn't the least forgotten to be plastered on his irritating face.
"Can you help me with it Illumi-san?" Hisoka had asked, his almond-slanted eyes staring at the assassin eagerly.
"Are you really this dumb. Or are you merely trying my patience," his wide ebony-eyes, narrowed in frustration. "This… This is a computer Hisoka!" his normal calm distant voice raising a note higher than usual, one of his long elegant finger pointing at the said processor. "Tell me, you didn't disturb me because you're so stupid you don't know how to make it work?"
"Illumi you wound me!" Hisoka said melodramatically, his hands clutching his chest feigning heartbreak. "Is it my fault that I am poorly-educated when it comes to these matters?" he said, twirling a playing card on his fingers.
Illumi mentally counted one to three in hopes to lengthen his near-snapping patience. There are just times when Hisoka can get so annoying and skinning him alive is one of the tempting options. He decided that he better get to work, so that he can get the damned magician out of his nerves as soon as possible, muttering something that vaguely resembled, 'bloody idiotic magicians.'
He took one good look at the computer and decided that killing Hisoka is really a good idea, just so the world would be lessen one dumb asshole. "For one, you're monitor isn't plugged onto your CPU, that explains why you can't see anything, for two the whole computer itself is unplugged, how do you suppose to make this thing work without electricity?"
"Uhh… Sure whatever…" Hisoka said non-chalantly, not paying attention to Illumi while he continued finishing his stack of cards.
Suddenly those same cards collapsed as silver needles came flying towards it. Hisoka merely shrugged his shoulders, taking in a mental note, that ignoring Illumi while talking isn't such a good idea. "Okay that was a bad move." He said, raising his arms in pretend defeat.
Illumi sighed inwardly. "I think I solved your problem now. I better go and get the sleep you disturbed." He said as a matter of factly.
"Not yet!" Hisoka grinned at the infuriated magician. "You still have to teach me how to surf the web." His eyes twinkling with exuberance, like a kid wanting to have a new toy.
For some this act might be called adorable but since it's Illumi, he found it down right annoying. "I can't believe you're this illiterate…" his face was calm like the way it normally was, but his voice failed the look in his face, as every word were dripping with annoyance.
Hisoka seated himself on a chair in front of the computer, pulling another one and motioning the assassin to have a seat as well. "Don't worry I'll listen well Illumi-san!"
Illumi sighed inwardly again, seating himself beside Hisoka, half-conscious that Hisoka was leaning towards him much to his discomfort but carefully set it aside. He was kind of used to that already, and the inevitable attraction he has for the insane magician. "Listen well." Illumi said in his normal neutral tone of voice, his black eyes fixated on the monitor. "You click this icon here, the one labeled Internet Explorer. That's it. You're online, you see that horizontal bar at the top, is called address bar, where you put the URL of the website you want to go to." Illumi turned to Hisoka wanting to know if the magician was indeed listening to him, which surprisingly he was.
Hisoka looked up at the assassin curiously. "Can you find information about us there?"
Illumi looked thoughtful for a moment. "I guess so, since I am a member of the
ever infamous Zoldick clan. And you, being a constant killer of Hunter
Examinees I guess you have some too."
"Why don't you ask about us then? That would be fun." Hisoka said cheerily.
"Why would you want to know about us?" but he did it anyway. He went into a popular search engine, Google. He searched for his name first and was mildly surprised when a few hundred results came out.
"Look! Illumi-san there's so much about you! Come on click one!" Hisoka grinned.
Illumi did click one and was surprise when he found tons of pictures of him. How did they take those pictures? It was creepy, how can a spy have spy on a spy like Illumi? There were many information too, though some are inaccurate. One even said that he was mute!
"Search about my name too!" Hisoka seem to find the whole situation amusing.
He did and just like his own there were hundreds of results. They clicked one and pictures were found too.
"I look good there!" Hisoka laughed while pointing at his picture.
Lunatic psychopathic magician. That was most of websites branded Hisoka, and Illumi agreed to it.
Then both the assassin and the magician's eyes caught something on the screen.
Hisoka and Illumi, quite an unlikely pair, but nonetheless many loves them. Want to know the meaty secrets behind the hotel's shut doors. Then proceed…at your own risk…
Both of the occupants of the room, stared at each other in surprise.
"Click it." Hisoka said. His face was grinning but his eyes were anxious.
Illumi had never been nervous in his life. But if you call a drum for a heart beat as nervous, and was his hand shaking? Then maybe he is. He moved the mouse towards the hyperlink. Warning: Yaoi.
What's yaoi? That's the question in both of their minds, not voicing it though since they were both almost eager about what will come out.
IntroductionI was a part of the Hunter Exam. And noticed immediately two deadly auras that belonged to two people who I never thought would bring out such intrigue to all of those who had been part of the Exam. Hisoka with almost green hue hair was a magician who everyone thought was a lunatic, and many still does. And another man who was hideous in appearance but nonetheless his aura was as terrifying, who would soon be discovered to be Illumi Zoldick in disguise. However, no one would dare get close too Hisoka or the deformed man with pins. And surprisingly the two found companions in each other, all of the examinees who had been lucky enough to witness this at various intervals must have smelled something fishy, especially at those time when the two would indulged themselves in card games. The two seems to be drawn closer and closer because when the deformed man with pins on his face finally revealed his true identity, almost all of the Hunter Examinees and the Judges as well gasped in surprise with the exception of Hisoka and if you were just as observant as I am you would have noticed the barest hint of smirk on the magician's lips or even the exchange of brief glances on that same occasion.
CONTINUE? or LEAVE?
Illumi glanced at Hisoka. And as if the magician was in trance, Hisoka's right hand moved over to the mouse, placing it over Illumi's, the cursor on the monitor moved. And Illumi wondered what hyperlink would the magician click. Continue.
Almost over half a dozen pictures came into view. It was Hisoka and Illumi walking inside of different Hotels. This, Hisoka decided was downright freaky. He checked out Illumi's reaction, but only found the usual calm face of Illumi. But if the magician only looked harder he would have noticed the tiniest crease on the assassin's forehead and two black eyes slightly narrowed, as if confused.
The two of them, are finally having the vaguest idea of what YAOI truly means.
Final Warning!
THIS IS THE FINAL WARNING YOU WILL RECEIVE. THE LAST PART OF YOUR JOURNEY OVER HISOKA AND ILLUMI'S SECRET ACTIVITIES. THOUGH THIS PART ONLY CAME FROM MY MIND, AND IS NOT TRUE, HOVEWER, IT WILL SATISFY YOUR CURIOUSITY. ARE YOU GONNA LEAVE NOW OR SHALL YOU GO?
They've come this far why back off now? The both hand over the mouse clicked at almost the same moment.
Title: Behind Shut Door
Pairing: Hisoka x Illumi yaoi.
A/N: Hisoka the seme, and of course the ever gorgeous Illumi is the uke.
"What the hell is a seme?" Hisoka asked loudly.
What's an uke?" Illumi asked himself silently.
"And what yaoi?" two voices asked at the same time, startling the two of them, Both just shrugged their shoulders and resumed reading.
****
Mischievous hands were traveling up and down the assassin's thigh. A feral grin was on the magician's face while the assassin a slightly pink tint on his alabaster cheeks.
"Hisoka…" The assassin all but moaned. Not wanting the hand to be so damn intimate. But wishing in contradiction for it to travel further.
A knowing smile passed the magician, his body leaning agonizingly slow towards the almost dazed assassin. "Illumi…"
****
Hisoka's jaw was hanging open and quickly snapped it shut, clearing his throat to cover his surprise.
Illumi on the other hand was blushing. What insane creature, would have wrote something like this?
The two decided they needed to read more.
****
Long raven hair was all over the couch.
Both didn't know what happened but somehow, Illumi was underneath a larger body that was Hisoka's, and his arms was thrown onto the magician's neck. He was feeling wanton. And he's powerless not to feel so.
Hisoka grinded his hips against the body beneath him. Painfully aware of the abrasion of their clothed skin rubbing against each other.
Illumi then licked his lips clearly tempting the other to have a taste of him.
Hisoka eagerly complied as he leaned his head down and their burning lips met, tongues bluntly exploring the recessed of each other's mouth. The magician as frisky as he was rubbed their bodies even harder against each other, while the other beneath, the ever-graceful one merely arched his body in response, a moan of pure pleasure escaping his tantalizing lips.
****
Alt+F4 was all it took, and the story they were reading was closed. Who did it? They didn't even know.
Hisoka panted heavily. Never in his life had he experienced more erotic than reading a sexual story of yourself and your partner is the one who is mere distance from you. He had been craving for Illumi, hell yeah, was even lusting the assassin, but was pushing it aside, but after reading that, he doubt if he could still push the idea of him and Illumi easily aside.
Illumi can feel his heated cheeks. His face would have to be burning by now. Never. NEVER. Had he read something like that. Not just because it was sexually privileged but also because it was he and Hisoka doing such perverse things he never given a thought before. He was lost. Period. He turned to Hisoka in hopes that he wasn't the only one that was experiencing the after effect. Bad move for him, since the move made his face and Hisoka's face way too close to be called decent. He could feel the hot breath of Hisoka against his cheeks, making his face flush even more. This was bloody out of character.
Illumi and blushing, as far as he know; didn't come in one package. But the fact the his face was a thread distance from the other, made the room look way too small if not too hot. His lips came down and brushed lightly against the other. A brief brush of lips against lips that was finished as soon as it had started.
"Uhh… I better go." Illumi's voice sounded strained, and was stripped of the calmness for the first time. His cheeks flushing almost dark red.
Hisoka the magician who never knew when to shut up, can't seem to find to words at the given moment, so however how out of character of him he only nodded.
The ebony-haired assassin rushed towards the door. Like a bird finally given the chance to be freed.
Hisoka only stared at Illumi's retreating figure. Wanting to stop the other but not knowing what to say. Then his wits gathered together when the door clicked shut.
Illumi the picture of gracefulness whose back was pressed against the wall, suddenly slithered weakly onto the floor. Then the door he just exited slammed open. There stood Hisoka, with Illumi's cloak in his hands.
"You forgot about this." Hisoka said in an odd tone. Handing Illumi the cloak he had in his hand.
Then it was as if everything faded, when Illumi's black eyes was raised to meet the magician's gaze. The time as if halting in favor of this moment came in complete stop.
Hisoka was sure Illumi kissed him. But then he'll never know. He watched as Illumi's silhouette disappeared onto the shadows. Yeah Illumi kissed him. He licked his lips, tasting the lingering taste of the ebon-haired assassin on his lips. Hah! You can run Illumi, but you can't hide. He turned to finally step inside his room , deciding to have a cold shower if he wanted to have a good night's sleep.
And as he entered the room, another silhouette came out of the shadow and retrieved the forgotten cloak on the floor. And if Hisoka still had doubts about the kiss. The figure however had the evidence that it wasn't. Because the picture he had in hand was yet another treasure to be added to his collection.
If only they had read what was written on the bottom of the page.
Site maintained by: a pink-haired Gourmet Hunter a Hunter x Hunter Judge
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afternotes: He-he! I Know that was down right stupid and lame, but I just have to make something happy about them since I wrote another angsty fic for them. Lets just call it balance.