Oh, hiya guys! My third fanfic, and my first FFVII fanfic! Yay! Very well, Yuffie's being unYuffieish, and she's actually pondering and stuff. How creepy. Anyway, this is merely a weird idea I got whilst brushing my teeth. I say, all great philosophers gets their greatest ideas when they greatly brush their great teeth. Do you not agree?

DISCLAIMER: I do not own FFVII or it's characters. If I did, DIRGE of CERBERUS would've been a make out-party between Vincent and Yuffie. He he. ^^'

Yuffie sat alone in a corner of 7th Heaven. She was lost in her own thoughts, and was uncharacteristically quiet. A theory she just made up struggled with her mind.

'If all the AVALANCHE members were animals, then what kind of animals would they be? Hmm...Now this is a tough one. Would they be an animal that resembled their personality or their looks? Hard to say, maybe both? Hmm...'

She closed her eyes, frowned and tried to concentrate and seal the noise from the street outside away.

'Cloud... He looks like a chocobo's ass, or a blond porcupine. But he is more like a wolf... A lonewolf, that's it! Just because he got Geostigma he got all angsty and hid in Aeris' church. Stupid chocobo-butt, he went and hid himself when there were people who needed him! He just abandoned Tifa, Marlene and Denzel. What a jackass.

Talking about jackasses, what would Barret be? That one's easy. Barret is a big, brown bear. On the outside he's that kinda bear that would tear the flesh from your bones if you encountered him in the forest, but on the inside he's a big, cuddly, fuzzy teddy bear. He tries so hard to hide it, but he lets the teddy bear out whenever he's with Marlene, and that's when he becomes all soft and, and... teddy bearish.

And Tifa... She's like a hen, and the rest of us, we're her chickens. But she's like a dog too, a shepherd's dog. She want us, the sheep, to be together in one big group, so that she can keep an eye on us all the time. Too bad for the Shetland Sheepdog the AVALANCHE members like to run away and play hide-and-seek all over the world with her. He he. She gets all hysterical and goes 'Oh, where the hell is Cloud? He should have been here by now! Stupid Vincent, he's gone AGAIN! Well I won't feel the least sorry for him if he comes crawling back here because he's too idiotic and self-confident to keep away from fights! No, Marlene, I have no idea where daddy is. He said he should be away less than two weeks, and now it's been 16 days! I think I'll go call Reeve and ask him where the hell Barret is!'

She even swears when she gets like that. Usually, it ends up with me, Shelke, Marlene and Denzel fleeing and hiding somewhere until she's calmed down. Tifa's creepy when she's mad.

Nanaki... Well, he IS an animal already. He's a lion-wolf-hyena-kitty-cat hybrid. Oh he tries to be all big and fierce, just like Barret, but I've seen how he gets whenever he's around Shelke. He's cuddlier than the cuddliest kitty-cat. And when he gets too happy, he just can't keep that cool shell he casts around himself. Like when Vinnie got back, and cute little Nanaki was so happy that he threw himself on Vinster, and licked his face... That was funny. Good thing for kitty-cat that he can't blush. Oh, what am I talking about? He's RED, for Gawd's sake! He has a permanent whole-body blush already.

Then what about ol' Reeve? He's like an old lion. He's too tired to do anything but sit in his stupid office all day long, but when he gets angry he does roar. His claws are all worn down, so therefore he has all his soldiers to claw for him. And while they're fighting, because they're young, spirited lions, he sits on his throne and gives them orders, wise advise and support. And without the Master Lion, the young ones would just run around and don't know what to do.

And the chain-smoking, swearing, badass pilot? Hmm... I think Cid's part dog. He barks and barks and barks, but he would never actually bite. Of course, like every dog, he bites the ones he doesn't like, but he would never bite us, even though he barks and yells at us all the time. But on the inside... He's like a lap-dog. He tries to hide it, but I know. All he wants to do is to lie in Shera's lap and be scratched behind his ears all day long. When he's not busy building airships, that is. Maybe he should give just a little more attention to his wife... Well now that DeepGround is gone, he don't have to fight and then he can spend more time with Shera. I know she'll be happy about it.

Aeris... She's not an animal. She's an angel. She is the light that guides us all, even though she's not among us anymore... Hell, I miss her. She was so kind, so gentle, so nice towards us all. Stupid silver-haired emo-god Jenova-freak Sephiroth! Well, at least he's gone now... Hopefully he won't re-spawn through some new stupid, creepy, rape-faced avatars. Aeris... She saved the world from Geostigma. And we can't do a thing to thank her, just pray and hope that she hears us. Oh, great Leviathan, make sure that she'll always be there, in our memories, and in the Lifestream, to protect us...'

The door opened, and Yuffie looked up to see who it was. She smiled faintly when she saw a well-known, red-cloaked man with long, raven hair and blood-red eyes. She lifted a hand and waved.

"Hi Vinnie, welcome back!"

He nodded, almost smiled, and continued past her. Yuffie closed her eyes and, still smiling, she continued with her chain of thoughts.

'Vincent Valentine... He's like a dragon. He is the strongest, a fierce beast with unbelievable powers. He can fly, walk on water, speak with unicorns, I don't know. He can frickin' kill people by death-staring at them. He never misses, he could shoot a fly a hundred metres away, in the dark, with a blindfold over his face, with his hands tied behind his back, when he's out of ammunition. And he's goddamned sexy, too. It's not fair, to think of it, he's like what -60?- and he'll look like an incredibly hot 27-year-old for the rest of his never ending life... Sigh.'

She felt something tap her shoulder, and looked up. Vincent was standing next to her.

"Yes? What's up, Vinnie?"

"Just wanted to tell you that it's really nice to be greeted with your smile and happy face when I'm back."

Yuffie simply stared at him. Her cheeks went slightly red, and she smiled at him shyly.

"Well it's good to have you back, Vinster! Are you done talking to unicorns, walking on water, flying around and frying small villages with your fiery breath and shooting flies in the dark now?"

He stared at her, didn't now what to say. Yuffie could hear Tifa, Shelke and the kids giggle.

"Oh shut up you four."

Tadaa! It's done! It's just as short as my other fanfics, but I think I'll start writing something bigger soon. Something with chapters. Maybe. Depends on how much love I get :3 Yeah, probably no love at all, but I don't care that much. Because I'm writing because I like writing. But of course I'd appreciate a nice review, or two!