The one with Ginny's new flatmate part one
Cast
Ginny Weasley-Monica
Hermione Granger_Rachel
Luna Lovegood-Phoebe
Ron weasley-Ross
Harry potter-Chandler
Neville Longbottom-Joey
It was a rainy afternoon in Hogsmeade village ,Ginny,Luna,Harry and Neville where all sat in the three broomsticks pub drinking butterbeers and Ginny was telling them about the date she was going on later that night.
"So, how are you in a special relationship with this guy or what?" Harry asked with pure ineterest.
"Look" Ginny replied with a deep sigh "there's nothing to tell, he's just some guy I work with."
"Well come on Gin, you're going out with the guy, there must be something wrong with him" Neville replied. Harry stared at him.
"Alright Neville be nice" he said then turning his attention to Ginny who had now gone a slight shade of red "so, does he have a hump, a hump and hair piece."
"No he doesn't Harry,don't you say such things" Ginny replied accusingly.
"Oh wait, does he chalk?" Luna piped up suddenly. They all stared at her with bemused expressions and Luna just simply rolled her eyes.
"I was just saying" Luna protested as she threw her arms up in the air. Ginny sighed, leaned back in her seat and rubbed her forehead before composing herself a few seconds later.
"Ok, everybody relax, it's not even a date, it was just two people going out, having dinner and not having sex" Ginny replied "he's not even that attractive anyway."
"Well it sounds like a date to me" Harry stated sarcasticly. Ginny gave him the evils. Half and hour later, Harry was telling them about a dream he had the night before.
"Alright, so I'm back at Hogwarts,I'm standing in the middle of the great hall and I realize that I'm totally naked" Harry told them as they all took in what he was saying.
"Oh yeah, had that dream" they all replied to Harry's shocked expression,but he just simply shrugged it off and contiued.
"So, I look down and I realize that there's a phone there" Harry informed.
"Instead of a..?" Neville asked.
"That's right" Harry replied "which was kind of weird because we didn't have phones in Hogwarts."
"Oh, I never had that dream" Neville replied "maybe phones only exist at hogwarts in your dream world, Harry potter." Harry glared at Neville for a full five minutes before continuing along with his story.
"So anyway" he continued "the phone starts ringing and I don't know what to do because everyone is looking at me and Dumbledore strangely gives me the thumbs up for some strange reason."
"And they wasn't looking at you before?" Ginny asked. Harry shook his head.
"Not al all, so anyway, the phone starts to ring so I'd figure I'd better answer it and it turns out that it's my mum which was pretty weird because she's dead" Harry said. They all go "Oooh." Suddenly,Ron weasley came bursting through the door carrying his umbrella and dripping head to toe in rain water. He slumps over to the group, looking rather mortified.
"Hi" he said in a pityfull tone as he sat down next to his sister.
"This guy says hello, I wanna kill myself" Neville pointed out, indicating to Ron who at that moment was looking pretty miserable. Ginny put a comforting arm round her Brother's shoulders.
"Are you ok sweetie?" she asked in a comforting tone. Ron shook his head.
"I feel like someone reached down my throat, pulled out my small intestines and wrapped them three times around my neck" Ron replied "I feel awful."
"Cookie?" Harry asked, offering Ron a large chocolate chip cookie.
"No, I don't feel like having a cookie today" Ron replied.
"Gee, what's eating him, he never refuses a cookie" Harry said "he's like the cookie king who eats all the cookies in the world, I'd thought I'd never see the day that Ron weasley would turn down a delicious cookie." Ginny looked at him.
"Lavender moved her stuff out today" Ginny told the others before turnig back to Ron "Let me get you a butterbeer."
"Thanks" Ron said "I could really do with one of those." As Ginny went to get Ron a butterbeer, Luna stood up, walked up to Ron and started plucking the air around him which annoyed Ron Slightly.
"No Luna stop it, stop cleansing my aura,just leave my aura alone" Ron warned her.
"Fine, be murky" Luna huffed before going back to her seat.
"So, are you sad that lavender left?" Harry asked.
"I'll be fine alright" Ron said "really, I hope she'll be very happy." Ginny came back with Ron's butterbeer and sat back down next to him.
"No you don't" Ginny told him "You don't hope she'll be very happy."
"No I don't, to hell with her, she left me" Ron agreed.
"And you never knew she was a lesbian" Neville pointed out.
"No Ok?" Ron asked them all with a deep sigh "why does everyone keep fixating on that,she didn't even know she was a lesbian so how should I know that she was a lesbian, she only founf out when she met that girl and found she had feelings for her."
"Sometimes I wish I was a lesbian" Harry said to himself which unfortunatly everyone heard because they were all staring at him like he was something strange and forbidden.
"Did I just say that out loud?" he asked. They all nodded and Harry leaned back in his seat,turning a shade of light scarlett. Ron took a drink from his butterbeer and turned to face Ginny who was now applying some mascara to her eyes.
"I told mum and dad last night and they seemed to take it really well" he told his sister.
"Oh really" Ginny replied, setting her mascara down on the table "so that hysterical howler I got from a woman sobbing at three in the morning saying I'll never have grandchildren, I'll never have grandchildren was sent by a complete stranger's owl that got lost and sent it to the wrong person,me?"
"Sorry" Ron grumbled miserably. Neville stood up and sat down in the spare seat next to Ron and put his hand on his shoulder.
"Alright Ron,Look,you're feeling a lot of pain right now, you're angry and you're hurting so can I tell you what the answer it?" Neville asked. Ron nodded to indicate that he was wanting to know.
"Strip joint" Neville blurted out. Ron pushed himself away, shocked but Neville carried on "Come on, you're single, have some hormones." Harry, Luna,Ginny and Ron gave him the "shut up" look before Ron started to speak up again.
"Look, I don't wanna be single ok, I just want to be married again." At that moment, Hermione Granger came bursting in through the doors, dressed in what looked like a wedding dress and she was soaking from the rain. She started looking around the three bromsticks for Ginny until she had found her and came rushing over to her.
" Oh God, Ginny, Hi,thankgod, I just went to your building and you wasn't there and then this guy who lived there said you might be here and you are, you are" Hermione said as she hugged her friend all the way through what she had just said.
"Do you want a butterbeer?" The waitress asked Hermione.
"Not to strong for her ok" Ginny said, indicating to Hrmione before taking her over to the group "Ok hermione, you remember these guys from Hogwarts,Harry, Luna, neville and you remember my brother ron."
"Yeah, I do, Hi Ron" Hermione said, walking over to Ron. Ron stood up to hug her but his umbrella suddenly opened between them, so Ron sat back down, feeling defeated and leaving the umbrella open. Hermione gave him a small smile and sat down herself.
"So, do you wanna tell us now or are we waiting for four wet bridesmaid?" Ginny asked jokingly. Hermione leaned back in her chair with a sigh and began to tell them all what had just happened.
"Well, it all started about half an hour before the wedding. I was in a room where we were keeping all the presents and I was looking at this gravy boat,this really gorgeous lamauge gravy boat when all of a sudden, I realized that I was more turned on by this gravy boat than by Viktor Krum."
"You were marrying that ape?" Ron asked in horror.
"Not anymore Ronald" Hermione replied before continuing " So anyway, I got really freaked out and that's when it hit me,how much Viktor looks like Mr Potatoe head and I never even noticiced it before until today when I was sat in that room."
"So what did you do next?" Harry asked.
"Well, I realised that I had to get out of there and I started wondering why I am doing this and who am I doing this for, so anyway, I climbed out the window and ran down the street not knowing where I was going to go and I know Ginny that you and I kind of drifted apart, but you were the only person I knew who lived here in this town" Hermione explained.
"Who wasn't invited to the wedding" Ginny said matter o factly. Hermione started to look slightly guilty.
"Oh, I was kind of hoping that wouldn't be an issue" Hermione said, blushing. An hour later, all six of them were at Ginny's flat, Ginny, Harry, Luna, Ron and Neville were watching a spanish movie on the tv and Hermione was in the kitchen talking on the phone to her dad.
"Now, I'm guessing that he bought that big pipe organ and she's not really happy about it" Ginny said, indicating to a character on the movie who had just bought another character a pipe organ. The other four who were watching the movie were imitating the characters on the movie.
"Tuna or egg salad. Decide" Harry said, imitating one of the characters.
"I'll have whatever Christine is having" Ron said, imitating another character and speaking in a deep voice whilst Hermione was still talking on the phone.
"Dad, just listen to me ok, I just can't marry him, I'm sorry ok, I just don't love him anymore" She said to her dad down the phone. The other five where still in the living room watching the movie and the scene on the movie had now changed to two women on the stairs and one of the women was holding her hair. Harry, Luna, Ron and Neville were still imitating the characters
"If I let go of my hair my head will fall off" Luna said, imitating the woman who was holding her hair.
"Ooh, she should not be wearing those pants" Harry pointed out "those pants are so last century."
"I say push her down the stairs" neville yelled. Soon, neville, Luna, Harry and Ron where all chanting "push her down the stairs, push her down the stairs." The woman on the movie was pushed down the stairs and Harry,Luna, Ron and Neville cheered. Hermione was still talking on the phone in the kitchen.
"Come on dad just listen to me, it's like all my life everyone has told me that you're a shoe,a shoe and today I just stopped and said, what if I don't want to be a shoe, what if want to be a purse or a hat, no dad I'm not saying I want you to buy me a hat I'm saying I am a hat, don't say that,it's a metaphor dad" Hermione screamed down the phone.
"You can see where'd he have trouble" Ron said from the living room ans Hermione continued talking to her dad.
"Look dad, it's me life ok and I'm going to stay here with Ginny" she said down the phone. Luna, Harry, Neville and Ron all look at Ginny.
"Well I guess we've established who's staying here with Ginny" Ginny said, indicating to Hermione who was still in the kitchen.
"Well maybe that's my decision dad, yeah well maybe I don't need your money. Wait dad don't hang up I said maybe I said…" The line went dead and Hermione pulls the phone away from her ear, indicating that her dad has hung up on her. A few minutes later, Hermione was sat on Ginny's sofa, breathing into a paper bag. Ginny and Luna where sat with her plus Neville and Harry were raiding the fridge in the kitchen.
"Just breath, that's it" Ginny reassured as she put her arm round hermione's shoulders "now try to thing of nice calm thoughts." It was at that moment when Luna burst into song.
"Raindrops and roses and kittens,bluebells and sleighbells and something with mittens, la la la la something and noodles with string, these are a few…" she stopped when she realised that both Ginny and Hermione where giving her the "please don't" look.
"I'm all better now" Hermione sighed as she put the paper bag on the coffee table and got up to leave only to be stopped by Ginny.
"Look, maybe it's best that you stay here for a while" Ginny reassured her.
"That's really nice of you Gin" Hermione said "you're a real frined you know." Neville came walking into the front room, munching on a slice of pizza and sat down next to Hermione.
"And hey, if you ever need anything, you can always come to Neville, me and harry just live across the hall and he's always away a lot" Neville told her.
"Neville" Ginny warned "stop hitting on her, it's her wedding day."
"What?" Neville protested, throwing his amrs in the air "like there's a rule or something." He got up and headed back into the kitchen just as the buzzer on Ginny's door goes off. Harry came running from the bathroom to answer it whilst quickly zipping up his jeans.
"Please don't do that again, it is a horrible sound" H arry said into the intercom.
"It's uh, dean" came the voice of Dean thomas over the other end of the intercom "is Ginny there?"
"Oh god it's six thirty" Ginny said, looking at her watch " Harry, be a pal and buzz him in will you,I have to get ready." She ran into her bedroom.
"Who's Dean?" Neville asked, cocking an eyebrow.
"Dean Thomas from school" Ron said "he was in Gryffindor with you me, Harry, Hermione and Ginny."
"Hey Ginny" Neville called to Ginny "Your not a real date is with Dean thomas?"
"Yeah" Ginny called from the bedroom.
"Oh, this is a dear diary moment" Harry pointed out sarcasticly. Ginny emerged from the bedroom and notices that Hermione is looking a little disapointed.
"Herm,wait, I can cancel" she said, going to sit next to her as Hermione shook her head.
"Please no, no, you go ahead, I'll be fine" Hermione reasured Ginny who gave her a small smile before walking over to Ron who was sat at the kitchen table.
"Are you ok?" she asked her older brother "I mean,do you want me to stay?"
"That'll be good" Ron replied in a choked voice.
"Really?" Ginny asked in a horrified voice.
"No, go on" Ron replied, shaking his head "no go on, it's Dean, your boyfriend from your fith year at hogwarts."
"Well if you're sure because I can easily arrange it for another time" Ginny explained.
"No really, I'm fine you go ahead and have a great time" Ron said, trying not to sound to disapointed. Ginny gave her brother a smile, patted him on the shoulder just as there was a knock at the door.
"Oh I better answer that" Ginny said as she walked over to the door and answered it to Dean.
"Hi Dean come in"Ginny said as she showed Dean into the flat where the other five where lined up in the kitchen "ok, I espect you all remember Dean" Ginny todl them all.
"Yeah, hi Dean from Hogwarts" they all said at the same time. Harry walked over to him with a quizzical look on his face.
"I'm sorry I didn't catch your name, Dean was it?" Harry asked.
"Come on Harry, we were both in the same house at Hogwarts, I'd expect you would remember me by now" Dean pointed out.
"I do, I was just checking that you wasn't an imposter" Harry replied. Everyone looked at him.
"Never mind" Harry muttered to himself.
"Oh, I pulled out four eyelashes, that can't be good" Luna said as she pulled out four of her eyelashes. Ginny went into her bedroom to get changed and Neville walked over to Dean, telling him that Ginny really liked being rubbed on her kneck in the same spot over and over again until it turned red.
"Shut up Neville" Ginny called from the bedroom. Ron walked over to Hermione and asked her if she had any plans for the evening.
"Well, I was kinda supposed to be heading for Aruba on my honeymoon,so nothing" Hermione replied as she sat down at the kitchen table. Ron sat down next to her.
"Right" he replied "You're not even getting your honeymoon, god..no,no, although, Aruba, this time of year, talk about your big lizards. Anyway, if you don't feel like being alone tonight, Neville and Harry are coming over to help me put together my new furniture."
"Yes, and we're very excited about it" Harry replied in a deadpan voice. Neville was rooting through the fridge again.
"Well actually thanks" Hermione replied "but I think I'm just gonna hang out here tonight. It's been kind of a long day."
"Ok, sure" Ron replied, sounding a little disapointed as he really liked Hermione and had a crush on her.
"Hey luna, you wanna help?" Neville asked Luna who was now stood in the middle of the living room, playing with her hair by twirling it around her fingers.
"Oh I wish I could but I don't want to" she replied. Neville accepted her answer and left her to her own devices. Later that night, Luna was at Hogsmeade station with a guitar and she was singing.
" Love is sweet as summer showers, love is a wondrous work of art, but your love oh your love,is like a giant pigeon.. crapping on my heart, la la la la la la la la la oooh" she sang as many people walked passed, putting coins in her guitar case. She thanked them in between singing her song. Meanwhile, over at Ron's flat, Ron, Harry and Neville were there attempting to put together a bookcase and Ron was reading the instructions whilst kneeling
"I'm supposed to attach a brackety thing to the sides, using a bunch of these little worm guys" Ron said then procceeded to look for what he needed but couldn't find them "I have no brackety thing, I see no worm guys what so ever and I cannot feel my legs." A couple of hours after attempting the fix up the bookcase, the three of them had finally managed to finish it but it looked wrong.
"I'm thinking we've got a bookcase here" Neville said.
"It's a beautiful thing" Harry agreed.
"Hey, what's this?" neville asked,picking up what looked like an L-shaped bracket.
"I would have to say that is an L-shaped bracket" Harry replied.
"Which goes where?" Neville asked, trying to find whereabouts it went on the bookcase.
"I have no idea" Harry replied. Neville checked to see that Ron wasn't looking before throwing the L-shaped bracket into a plant pot.
"We're done with the bookcase" Neville called to Ron who was in the kitchen.
"All finished" Harry added. Ron emerged from the kitchen, clutching a can of beer and looking very emotional.
"This was lavender's favourite beer" he sniffed "she always drank it out of the can."
"hey hey hey" Neville said, rushing over to Ron "if you're gonna start with that stuff,we're outta here."
"Yes, please, don't spoilt the fun" Harry added with a hint of sarcasm in his voice. Meanwhile, Ginny and Dean where both dining in a restaurant in pair of them were having a conversation about Dean's ex gilrfriend.
"Oh my god" Ginny said, indicating that Dean had just told her something shocking.
"I know" Dean replied "I'm such an idiot. I guess I should have caught on when she started going to the dentist four or five times a week. I mean, how clean can teeth get?"
"My brother's going through that right now" Ginny pointed out "he's such a mess. So, how did you get through it?"
"Well" Dean replied "you might try accidently breaking something valuable of hers,say her…"
"Leg?" Ginny added. Dean started laughing.
"That's one way" he replied whilst chuckling "but me, I went for the watch." Ginny stared at him with wide eyes.
"You actually broke her watch?" she asked.
"Afraid so" Dean replied. Back over at Ginny's flat, Hermione was pacing up and down around the room, talking on the phone again.
"Viktor, I'm sorry, I am so sorry . I know your probably think that this is all about what I said the other day about making love with your socks on, but it isn't, it's about me" she said down the phone as she continued to pace around the flat. Back at Ron's flat, Ron was also pacing whilst Harry and Neville were fixing up some more furniture.
"I'm divorced" Ron said as he paced around the flat "I'm only twenty six and I'm divorced."
"Look Ron, you got to understand,between us we haven't had a relationship that has lasted longer than a mento" Harry explained "you, however have had the love of a woman for four years, four years of closeness and sharing at the end which she ripped your heart out, and that is why, we don't do it."
"You know what the scariest part is?" Ron asked "What if there's only one woman for everybody, you know, I mean, what if you get one woman and that's it?"
"What are you talking about?" Neville asked "One woman,that's like saying there's only one flavour to bertie botts every flavour beans for you. Let me tell you something Ron, there's loads of flavours out there, there's peppermint, toast, marmalade and coffee. You got married, welcome to the world, grab a spoon."
"I honestly don't know if I'm hungry or horny" Ron pointed out. Back at the restaurant where Ginnt and Dean where, they were still having a conversation and eating their meals.
"Ever since she walked out on me, I uh" Dean said, unable to finish his sentence.
"What?" Ginny asked "you want to spell it out with noodles."
"No, it's more of a fith date kind of revelation" Dean replied.
"So there is gonna be a fifth date?" Ginny asked.
"Isn't there?" Dean asked, confused.
"yeah, I think so" Ginny replied "So, what were you going to say?"
"Well, ever since she left me, um, I haven't been able to uh peform, sexually" Dean replied. Ginny spat her drink out of her mouth in shock.
"Oh god, I am so sorry" Ginny said, feeling rather embarrased.
"It's ok" Dean replied as he wiped himself down with a napkin. Ginny had now turned a bright shade of scarlett.
"I know being spit on is probably now what you need right now" she said.
"Honestly Gin, it's no big deal" Dean replied "stop worrying yourself so much." Meanwhile at Ginny's flat,Hermione was watching a movie on tv where two people were getting married and she was sobbing.
"We are gathered here today to join Julie anderson and charles cunnigham in the bound of holy matrimony" said the priest on the tv who was marrying the man and woman.
"Oh see,but Julie loves Charles, that's different" Hermione sobbed. Back at Ron's flat, he, Harry and Neville were all sat around, talking.
"Grab a spoon" Ron said scornfully "Do you know how long it's been since I've grabbed a spoon?" Both Harry and Neville were hanging onto everyword as Ron continued on.
"You know, there's a thing. Even if I could get it together enough to ask a woman out, who am I going to ask?" he went over to the window and gazed out of it while over at Ginny's flat, Hermione was also gazing out of the window.
End of part one.