Oh. Oh, it's . . . it's not about actual dirt. It's about . . . that? You want me to talk to you about that? W-well, I guess . . . I guess I could try. Right. Right! I can do that! Piece of cakewalk, totally fine, right up my alleyway! That's . . . yes. Let me just get the old noggin going. Got it right in order. Good.
Where to start, where to start . . . w-well, your eyes are . . . lovely. All nice and . . . functional. Bet you can see just fine out of those eyes, can't you? Twenty out of twenty vision? Maybe even a hundred out of twenty! A thousand! Good eyes, those. Good face, really. Honestly, I cannot get enough of those lips of yours. You're . . . you're really good with those lips. On the, uh. Well. You know.
Good lips.
And your . . . your breasts! They're so . . . round, and, er . . . full! Yes! Full of . . . well, not fat, wouldn't want to imply that you're fatty, just . . . breasts! They're lovely, aren't they? With those little bumps on them, those sensitive nubby things. Whatever they're called. Tremendous.
But, oh, old Wheatley's not planning on stopping there, is he? No, no, no—lots of you to, er, explore, isn't there? Lots for me to, er, give an exploratory search? With, with my hands and mouth and such, if you get my drift? Not so much because there's a lot of you, of course, still not fat, but. There's just the right amount. Goldilocks.
See, I'd like to use my, ah, lips to kiss all those nice fleshy bits under your breasts. Down that little flat area, forget what it's called, to that . . . button. That's what humans call it, right? A belly button? Don't really see why, definitely doesn't seem to do much of anything, but it's a button and it's there and you always seem to laugh when I poke around at that part—not that I mind! I'm sure it's all fun and games and you're not laughing at your pal Wheatley, right? Laugh with 'em, not at 'em. Right?
Well, after that. You know . . . the part that . . . that I'm getting at. Assuming we're continuing on this linear path—which I like, I like lines—well, then we get to . . . you know . . . that. That part. Between . . . between your legs. Yes, see, you know the part I mean, all those sensitive little bits that make you get all warm. Must say, I got a little worried that first time. Not sure who decided humans should overheat from that, but I thought you might be coming down with something, luv. Glad you weren't, glad you weren't, but you could've given me a little warning, couldn't you? Just a suggestion. For next time. Warn your robots.
Point is, you like it when I get all involved down there, don't you? Touching your bits like that? Slowly, gently at first—you made that part pretty obvious, got the message loud and clear, start out gentle—and then maybe pick things up a bit. A-and maybe have some more of that mouth, d'you think? Oh, yes. I think you'd like that.
But then. Then. Well, then we get to the biggie, don't we? Because once you're all overheated like that, there's still one more step, isn't there? Involves my . . . you know. That. That part. The part where that . . . that part of me . . . it's . . . well, it's inside you, isn't it? A-and let me tell you, luv, it feels tremendous, that part. Your eyelids flutter and you bite your lip and good ol' Wheatley's having a grand time, trust me. You can't imagine how it feels, when you get . . . oh, you get so tight, so tight and warm, a-and I . . . I . . .
W-w-w-well, y-you know how it is. That. That p-part. I . . . oh, luv, just thinking about it, I . . . look, I'm going to have to ask you to sit right there, and, er, d-don't . . . don't leave. Just. No more talking. None. Zip. Just, er, just doing.
Now, please.