So, there it is; chaos reigns no more; eternal peace. The heartless, nobodies, organization XIII, keyblade war, Xehanort saga, x-blade reincarnation, are all in the past now or so we thought. The true threat, impetus of it all is just arising. Awakened from her slumber through prayer and disastrous failures performed by the anointed Xehanort, she's determined to seal every speck of light in stone thus engulfing Kingdom Hearts in darkness; initial motive is unknown. The only thing known about her is, she's without a doubt, darkness itself. Her appearance greatly resembles Unknown; accompany with fiery red aura around its eyes to enhance its visage features. In the middle of her palms lies dark keyholes with purple, red and black aura(pure dark aura) covering and orbiting them.
She stretches her hand out and it begins to concuss intensely, causing her to growl like a wild demon. An x-blade grows out of the chaotic keyhole with aura zipping all over it.
?- He, he, he, he heee. Since my anointed descendent has pathetic conflicts accomplishing something so simple, maybe it's TIAHHHH...[aura blasts out of the generating keyhole as well as the x-blade still growing out of it]HHHME that my..[she examines the grown out x-blade, repleting it with dark energy] dormant ass do something about this. All I want this fag to do is perish the light but no! You just have to make shit complex so be it! I pity you!
She penetrates her dark heart with the x-blade, roaring at the top of her lungs. Next thing you know, the blustery darkness sweeps through everything, every world, every area of space, every heart it touches, it devours the universe! All except this miniscule speck of light. The x-blade disconnect itself from the heart and went back in its dark egg. She's now completely bare; she sacrificed the purple slime that coated her body.
?- Humph! Everything doesn't go your way! Ah yes, I thing I know "who" is in that speck of light.[She snaps her fingers and poof, the tiny light automatically teleports to her pitch black throne. She smirks at what she sees; Sora and Riku in a deep stertor.] Muah, ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-haaa! I saw this coming well, they will make plenty of mirth for me. Even though you will perish for nothing, you will please me with jesterous acts.[She fades away in darkness, laughing ominously.]
Riku- (in his sleep)"Wezzy F Baby and the f is for front do'," Jezzy b ranging and the b stands for back do', either way it goes your pussy ass is goin' through a do', gooming on the side and Truman on it like a bitch you o. Young Jezzy on his thang, I'm doin' my thang, We doin' our thang, dancing on em' hose yea.
Sora- (in his sleep) Riku shut your lame ass up.
Riku- Don't hate son. You can't rap like me.
Sora- And I don't want to.
?- Ah, my jesters are awake.
Sora and Riku jumps up frantically; eyes wide open now.
Riku- WTF?! [looking around]
Sora- What is this place? [looking around as well]
Riku- AQUA...damn! There goes my bed and breakfast.
Sora- What was that voice?
Riku- Fuck that! Martin Luther King was about to march to freedom! But no! Some heartless nobody gots to port my ass to Dark Heaven!
?- Precisely. [She slowly accosts them.]
Riku- GOT DAMN THAT'S A BODY! [Eyes go wide] And the pussy looks yummy!
Sora- I'm glad there's this person called mothers.
Riku- I know but mama said even their son need some time off.
?- Praaah, ha, ha, ha, ha, haaa! Amusing remark. Behold the dark land that's your grave eternally.
Riku- HELL NAH!
Sora- Nay! Who you?!
Riku- That's what I wanna know!
?- I'm Anonymous.
Riku- BITCH! WHAT FUCK NA...
Anonymous- That's my name! A name impressed in darkness, a name with no rues, a name with precise success of blackening all!
Sora- Huh?
Riku- That's what I'm saying. You fuck up my fuck day and you speak riddles. You full of shit!
Anonymous- Silence my little wanna be black jester.
Riku- Black jester?! Do I look black to you miss barely no cloths?!
Anonymous- I produce the questions, not answer them.
Riku- BITCH! I KN...
Sora- Calm down Riku! Why? After all the mess that went down, why continue to trust in darkness?
Anonymous- Hmm, I guess round one never pleases you pathetic mortals.
Riku- Bitch what rounder?! I got your rim job and the key job on your spoiled pussy ass.
Anonymous- A bumptious young man you are. Lacking acumen will for sure moralize false salvation.
Riku- B...
Anonymous- Bust out bitch one fine time.
A keyblade appears in Riku's hand.
Riku- What you gonna do? Bitch!
Anonymous laughs hysterically while Sora glares at him and shook his head in pity.
Sora- From now on, let me do the talking.
Anonymous- The king of idealism shines once again!
Riku- Man fuck this I'm out! [The keyblade disappears and he tromps away shining a middle finger at the nude queen.] STANK BOOTY! Stankin' ass whore hairy cavemen entrance!
Anonymous- One raucous jester gone, but the pure joker stays.[Utterly focusing on Sora's eyes]
Sora- I know for unknown purposes that you hate to ask questions but, at least tell me why.
Anonymous- Why is a word of entertainment. It amuses me every time I hear it.
Riku- WHY BITCH WHY?!
Sora- KEEP WALKING FAGGOT!
Anonymous- Your life time friend will without a doubt fall in a game of derision. He's lucky he's not or is he?
Sora- I don't got time for paradoxes! What MOTIVE DO YOU GOT FOR THIS BULL...
Riku- SHIT! YEA BOY! I GOT YOUR BACK!
Sora- RIKU!
Anonymous- You really want to know? Very well. It was right after you disbanded the regeneration of Organization XIII and prevent the recreation of x-blade. Luckily enough, Xehanort sent out a curse prayer before his time.[Pauses and closes her ominous eyes.]
Sora- Well, what was it?
She opens her eyes and smiles at him.
Anonymous- "Awaken thee from thy slumber!"[Spreads her arms wide, rolling her eyes all the way back; flames arouse within the scleras. Her hair was zipping about wildly like an intense tornado twirling upon it].
Sora- Oh no! That means...[stares at her in despair]
Anonymous- I'm the goddess of darkness![she laughs ominously.]
Riku tromps all the way back to them and Anonymous hair calms down and rolls her eyes back in place.
Riku- There's no door in this shit hole!
Sora grabs Riku's hand and shakes it like it's his last day.
Riku- Oh so we faggie now?
Sora- We're done for man.
Riku- Bullshit! She's a nobody!
Sora- She's the goddess of darkness.
Riku- AHHHHHH, HA, HA, HAAAAAAAAA! That's real funny. Man swerve on somewhere with tat bull bra.[he slings Sora's hand away]
Anonymous- Let me display the view of today and forever.
A screen evolves before them and shows everything. The ominous purple and red sky, the sun no longer shines, the moon is bloody red, the mayhem and bedlam of people, the burning of nature to sorrow, animals and insects viciously killing one another for survival, just total disarray of Kingdom Hearts.
Riku- No way. That's a goddess for you. How in the hell did we survive?
Sora- Through faith in light.
Anonymous- Yes you're the only two pure mortals left. Even the Seven Princesses of Heart returned to darkness. All but two returned to darkness. This is Xehanort's quietus; he still fails me!
Sora- There must be balance! Even if you kill us off, light and dark go together!
Riku- Like father and son you dig?
Sora- If light perish, dark perishes with it!
Riku- [forms a fist near his mouth] Uh Kill em'! Oh git em'!
Anonymous- And that's when you're wrong. The morass of you. You still understand nothing. "Every light must fade, every heart returns to darkness!" Where dark can only be channeled, light succumbs to abomination. After all of these superbious events you brawled through, you accomplished nothing. Once a heartless, always a heartless. You would've been an impeccable fit for the organization, but betrayed them for dim light and has the audacity to not light up when you activate the switch.
Riku- Bitch let me tell you something, nobody I mean NO BADASS bae bae nude is gonna roast her b-down, b-up, b-side special a button jump gcn aspect, blood water lake history fake ass tits, broke ass bitch homeless PlayStation less ass, no life for Wii kill em' for nothin' looking-ass walker, multiman walk down the street looking-ass, fuck your Yami looking-ass, Jezzy al baby looking-ass, Osama Bin Laden looking-ass, Jay-Z looking-ass, wanna be Jun looking-ass, wanna be Unknown looking-ass, forge God's powers on yourself looking-ass bitch! I mean I can go with this shit but the writer of this fuck has limits like witches from Macbeth! If Eyes of Dormant Sin had unlimits, trust and believe that my shit diss dialect will be long as hell! My diction will out shine all diction pussy ass bitch! I'm the king of all kings pussy ass bitch! You blowjob William B. Clinton and the "B." stands fo' back do', fruiting all my powers and yur fucking wit my Falco bitch![crosses two deuces across his chest]
Sora- *sigh* Riku, What am I gonna do without you?
Anonymous- [clapping.] That was an eerie performance. Such haranguing.[stops clapping] The only conflicts and errors I spot was sterling powers of malapropism. I don't have problems with one jettison his steam freely, he merely repletes himself with more darkness. Negativity empowers me greatly, powerful like one falling to Earth and their nucleus breaks apart, resulting in fractures of them while still falling. My little dolt, please entertain me some more. Bring me more mirth and hilarity; prolong your inevitable death.
Sora prevents Riku from responding.
Sora- (To Riku) Let me handle this. We gotta be real chary on this one.(To Anonymous) So, you took over Kingdom Hearts, just like you want it: dark, ratchet, corrupt, and chaotic. What more do you want?
Anonymous- Your death is all. My lachrymose mortals, your pool souls have no part of my Heaven. That's why you both survived. I don't like an incomplete world! With you two dead and vouchsafed proper burials, the world will be pure in darkness. Can you comprehend that or demand more elucidation?
Riku- Go to a toilet and take a nice shit. Know "balance!" killin' light means the end of Kingdom Hearts. Do you not know tat or you just don't give a rat's ass?! Go perform bestiality naked bitch!
Sora- You're giving her more power by roasting.
Riku- This pious pompous prick needs to know her place.
Anonymous- And you need some cunnilingus.
Riku- Not on you!
Anonymous- No, on yourself...[She launches purple aura out of her hands to the ground]
Solid purple figures with visible scarlet hearts morphs out of the cursed aura. One resemble Sora and the other resemble Riku.
Riku- Man this shaggy head woman bra!
Dark Riku- Turn up crack head multiman!
Riku- Go back in your mother's womb!
Dark Riku- Ignorant ass fag!
Riku- Massage Scooby Doo's dick lookin'-ass!
Dark Riku- Blowjobin' Scrappy lookin'-ass!
Riku- Homeless trashcan ass bitch!
Dark Riku- Bold ass bitch gittin' out the b!
Riku- I know damn well this purple fag..
Dark Riku- And "b" stands fo' back do'!
Riku- Fag let me finish!
And they go on and on, making it seem eternal.
Sora- You will bow to light!
Anonymous- Entertain this jester for me.[she vanishes in dark flames]
Dark Sora- With pleasure.
Sora- Can you wait?
Dark Sora- Be careful mooning someone. Something harmful might go up in there.
Sora- This wanker fag right here. I'm not gay!
Dark Sora- Whatever. Avoiding porn with Kairi; you ate too much fruit loops.
Riku- You making the wrong move pal.
Dark Riku- Forget them.
Riku- (To his dark self)Git the fuck off my dick! (To Dark Sora) Pissing off Sora is like pissing off Hulk. When he turns up, trust and believe your ass is done for. You know why they ain't fucking, Kairi ain't ready that's why.
Dark Sora & Dark Riku- YOU DON'T KNOW SHIT!
Riku- YES THE FUCK I DO!
Dark Sora- False premise. Kairi's actions, demeanor, and seductive talk was all about that life! Your straight excuse of a friend procrastinates such dreams.
Dark Riku- Kill em'!...Bust that ass son!
Riku- Git the fuck off that meth! Bitch you don't know shit! Go cunnilingus your goddess bra!
Sora- EVERYBODY SHUT THE HELL UP!
Riku- Show em' they fuck your f up and the...
Sora- "F" stands for front door. Yeah cut that shit out. They are right about one thing; yes I avoid making "proper" love.
Riku- Yo you serious? You hate having yo soldiers fighting in Civil War?
Sora- Riku I'm not gay!
Riku- I know you not but, you turn her down when she rolls up. Bra you don't have to work! She wants it man! Me, I had to work for my aqua. Your ass is lucky!
The sinister clones shakes in mirth.
Riku- What's so funny?!
Dark Sora- You don't get it do you?
Dark Riku- The man's fruity.
Riku- I'm sure he got reasons!
Sora- Get yo's big ass noses off my dick! Quit smelling my shit Quagmires! SHE, AIN'T, READY! Put that shit in your zombie ass heads broke down Nintendo Wii, biscuit sway swag wit yo psp, Going off the road looking-ass, ratchet ass fuck porn head station ass ps1 swag bitches, pussy station dos, all day fucking red neck faggots, porn star asian turnt up Nikki ass bitches, camo toes comatose may plague bank cursed Mally Mall stanklove Out Cast naughty dog bandicoot homebrew channel young blood looking ass! Y'all look stank, be in check!
Riku- Yea boy kill em!' Kill these purple roaches looking-ass faggots, purple stuff cunt looking-ass faggots, purple made babies looking-ass faggots! Put em' on that "Federal Check; Eraqus Swag" bra!
Dark Sora- Y'all done? Gay time over? Y'alls rage is feminine in a masculine way.
Sora- Man fuck this![He charges at his darkside while a keyblade appears in his hand and they brawl fiercely.]
Riku- Prove to him you not gay! Make tat one-hundred paper brotha!
Dark Riku- I'm still here.
Riku- Queer, I don't know that?! I don't need my keyblade for this.[his keyblade vanishes and he cracks his fists.] This will bash your skull in. I'm a G faggot!
Dark Riku- Yep. "Gay."
Riku- GANGSTER BITCH!
Dark Riku- Gangsters are pirates; gay as all git out.
Riku- You the pirate mother fucker!
Dark Riku- All for no pussy. Tusk, tusk.
Riku- OH HELL NO![he throws raging punches at his darkside.]
The dark champion dodges some fiery stones then counter attacks by catching one of them and uppercuts Riku's chin.
Sora on the other hand receives a devastating combo from his dark ego. The last blow sends him flying off, tantamount to a rocket.
Dark Riku- You can't fight evil face to face. Even a baby can wroop your ass, blindfolded!
Dark Sora- Pathetic. You're not even qualified to be a pawn servant for our queen.
Dark Riku- "Radio killaaa!"
Riku catches Dark Sora off guard by kneeing his torso.
Riku- Maybe if I turn up on my friend, errthang will git out the f properly.[he gets all physical on Dark Sora; pounding and stomping on him.]
Dark Riku- Perish![He preps a stab for his enemy, but a keyblade goes through his heart] Slick...queer.
Sora- Go back in your mother's womb clit.
Dark Riku vanishes in light.
Riku-[tramping on his dark friend] WHAT?! WHAT?! WHAT?! WHAT?![he stops stomping] Git up fucker!
Dark Sora- Bitch ass honey! Fruit...loops eat...ing ass. Women stuck on cr...crack lookin' ass.
Riku smashes Dark Sora's heart to pieces by rushing his leg high in the air; nailing his heart in the process.
Dark Sora- AHHHHHH SHIT!...Our confidence got the b...best of us...but...trust...our qu...queen will g...g...git you fo'...this.[He vanishes in light.]
Riku- Where's that naked bitch?
Sora- Forget her. Let's get the fuck out of here.
Anonymous- "You're...so...se-xy, per-fect...for...me."[appearing before her guests]
Riku- She know that Twista bra! SING IT! "And this is for them girls that be wanting my D!" Yea boy you know! Fuck this! Let's fuck, sodomy swag gal!
Anonymous- *Sigh* You don't understand my meaning of it. Both of you have sexy commendable mêlée techniques, impeccable for serving as my bodyguard.
Riku- Hell to the no! This bitch turnt Pee Body's sex to loyalty of death. Not cool bra!
Anonymous- My point exactly. Every queen needs a bulky bodyguard.
Sora- No thanks; I'm real slim.
Riku- Sora shut your ass up! Ok how about tis? We fuck, then die. How that? Me horny baby dead ass.
Sora- Bull to the shit! You must be out your got-damn mind! She's loaded with sex diseases!
Riku- You don't know that! You won't know until MLK and X marches their asses up in there!
Anonymous- I don't like the taste of mortals. Keep your jokes in your jeans jester.
Riku- NOOOO! I'm REAL different! Dead ass, my stuff is full of purple dark black gushy cum. The dogs are hot and evil, trust me Ms. Naked.
Anonymous- I'll espouse it when I see it. Greed for anything beckons me greatly for I am the dark and you are my serpent. My sapient mortal,[eyes changing to magenta] intercourse with me is the dumbest decision in history.
Riku- Do it look like I give a fuck?! You're the only bitch breathing and got them tasty titties and pussy! I want sex! Oh yeah! You about that yaoi-yuri life. You want gay entertainment?[Ogling at Sora and going to him.]
Sora- Your lust is going overboard![he walks opposite of his lustful friend] Swerve man swerve!
Anonymous- No possession necessary.
Sora- WHAT?![performing a swift look and back] Riku you better stop this shit!
Riku- COME HERE! Show me that hotdog! Show[hump] me[hump] hot[hump] dog![hump]
Sora concentrates assiduously on the queen of darkness. He spots her eyes were no longer amber.
Sora- That's odd as hell. This woman is a chameleon. You sure about not manipulating this lusty faggot?
Anonymous- It's scarred deeply in my heart; No. This is an independent act.
Sora- But your eyes lie. [continuing to slowly flee from the lusty man]
Riku- Let me roast that hotdog! BBQ SWAG!
Anonymous- Eyes are meaningless. They just exists to represent the organ of visibility. You should know that unless your parents are zombies; if so, that tells me you learned nothing throughout your life.
Sora- BITCH![He stops himself.]
Anonymous- Come on, rain your rage upon my bosom.
Sora- NO! That's exactly what you want; More empowerment!
Anonymous- To be honest, that was a false statement. It entertains me to no end. So come on, cum your flames on me.
Sora- Hell no! You full of shit and piss!
Anonymous- Very well...[pure dark aura roams wildly all over her hands.]
Riku- You're playing hard to get. Playstation Master got somethin' for tat.[his walking speed arguments to running; chasing Sora around like Tom chasing Jerry.]
Sora- GET OFF ME MAN! COME ON! LET MY ASS BREATH! SWERVE!
Out of nowhere, soft, jazzy music travels the darkness.
Riku- {Come on baby come on darlin'. Bring your ass and bring your lighters. Errbody funk but we go anal. In the table on that cable. Come on baby come on darlin'. Bring your ass and bring your lighters. Errbody funk but we go anal. In the table on that cable.} [he repeats these lyrics endlessly]
Sora- What is this shit?! Seductive music?! This is chaotic manipulation! The man's repeating himself like he's cursed! You lied to me! Then your eyes change when you control somebody! Deluding devil!
Anonymous- On the contrary. Eyes is the gate to your soul; your heart. Mines changes color, so what. It means nothing. Hmm, you're officially brainless. A pupil who's taking up space. It's not your fault, you came from a vacuous generation.
Sora back fists Riku across his face with full force.
Riku- I'm a warrior! [He cartwheels to the ground, knocked-out; this stops the music also.]
Sora- I'm stupid?! I'm FUCKING STUPID with yo naked musty ass?! MUST! I SMELL MUST!
Anonymous- Now now. I'm just stating the facts. There's no need to vent your emotions on something that's true.
Sora grabs his balls.
Sora- NUTS OF LIGHT!
Anonymous- Lovely remark. The purpose of darkness, me; I exists because sin entered the world. As time evolves, my power augments. It got to the point where peace at home brakes itself. People perishing people, family killing themselves off, animals gone corrupt and confuse. Money is my son; being second to none bringing destruction and beauty of my aura to Kingdom Hearts. Government no longer cares about their people, just their own agenda. And the conclusion is this, My anointed servant didn't do all of this, you did.[Black tears rolls down her evil face]
Sora- What?![not believing what he heard]
Anonymous- See what you did? I rarely cry due to having no purpose of doing so but thinking about this pleases me so; you mortals love me so much it's pathetic. I'm merely the quietus, making sure this was accomplished! The prophecy is now fulfilled; I'm now and forever, the supreme ruler of all. My commends to you and everyone for abetting false righteousness.
Sora- I didn't do shit. I got no part of sinners. I'm a kid of pure light!
Anonymous- Even the innocent deceives you. Cussing is a sin, and you do it quite often. There's no such thing as a pure lighted person; you're half and half. Sooner of later, I will take utter control of you. It already happened though.
Sora- Miss, you will never touch this heart!
Anonymous- Nor Riku's. You two are pure, just not life wise.[her eyes went back to amber] Riku's now free from my curse.
Riku gets up, stumbling and feeling his head. Sora helps him up.
Riku- Ahh fuck. The last thing I remembered was killing some dark fag that represents you Sora.[he quickly regains conscious after he gawks at the naked queen] Yo! That naked bitch did some voodoo shit on me! Dr. Facilier on deck! She conjured me to do some eccentric shit!
Anonymous- You're the emperor of malapropism, chief of stupidity, and king of absurdity. Three jesters in one equals you.
Riku- This nude bitch cooked beef in my face; roasting on my got-damn nuts!
Anonymous- The only thing you'll forever be useful for is ridicule.
Riku- I'm ridiculous? Bitch, you sounded real crack right then.
Sora- Riku, you need some sleep.
Riku- Hell no I'm straight.
Anonymous- Pleased to hear that...[She closes her eyes and pure darkness zips all over her]
Riku- Ritual time.
Sora- Oh crap.
Riku- Rather I get pussy or not, the best thing in life was having you as my friend.[he puts a hand up in the air]
Light strikes Anonymous heart and she slightly growls; they didn't hear it.
Sora- Same here bra.[he sticks a hand out.]
While they were doing various handshakes, more light penetrates through Anonymous's heart.
Anonymous- RAAAAAAAAAAAH STOP IT![x-blades begins to grow out of her darkened keyholes.]
Sora- The x-blades?!
Riku- She's the true maker of it?! We in serious shit bra!
Sora- Our weapons won't last. Evil finally prevails for sure.
Riku- Don't be weak. After all the shit we been through, bra, we fought thousands of enemies at one! That's Bruce Lee all over! This is one.
Sora- Yeah, the goddess of evil. We might as well fight Mike Tyson, Hulk, Bruce Lee, Jet Li, Jackie Chan, and Thor.
Riku- You overdose on that one!
Pure dark calms down and the x-blades are fully out; ready to take lives.
Anonymous- He, he, he he, he. I had a ball with you two. If you both stay alive longer, I will perish and I'm not never planning on going home just yet. Prepare yourself.[she sways to them like a zombie]
Sora- Well I hope Kairi survived and prays about this sinister scheme.
Riku- Aqua too bra. Aqua too. This menace must go!
Anonymous- PA, HA, HA, HA, HA, HA, HA, HA, HA, HAAAAAA! They are consumed by me and will forever be pawns in my realm! You two brainless dolts can't comprehend anything! My grand spread of darkness swoops the entire Kingdom Hearts and all of space. Nobody and nothing survived except you two. It will behoove you both to remember that before and after your burial.
Sora- Man you're miserable. Dark is miserableness. I don't know what you did to piss off the god of light, but taking your anger out on us is flat-out wrong!
Anonymous tilts her neck to the side contemplating at Sora like he lost his everlasting mind.
Riku- Straight-up dead-ass evil!
Sora- The only you feel contented is my taking others content away. "Where there's dark, there's light." It always been like that.
Riku- Kill her!
Sora- Shut it Riku! Even when dark gets the best of you, that speck of light "never" goes away; even at a situation like this!
Anonymous- I don't have time for gibberish from a jester.[swaying closer to them and twitching her arm for slaughtering.]
Sora- Hear me out! You thing you got us but you really don't! We got you and you know why, we learned love.
Anonymous's heart lights up brightly and the x-blades scatters to dust. She comes to an utter halt also.
Anonymous- NOOOO! NOOOOOO! SHUT YOUR SHITTY TRAP! YOU KNOW SHIT! LIGHT MUST RETURN TO DARKNESS! NOT THE MIRROR VERSION OF IT!
Riku- "Finish her!"
Sora- How about this, it flip-flops. The only difference is light is greater. Darkness, you, falls short every time.
Light engulfs the infirm goddess, making only her hair visible.
Anonymous- RUBBISH! TRIVIAL RUBBISH! I KNEW I MADE A MISTAKE! I SHOULD HAVE PERISH YOUR ASSES IN Y'ALLS SLEEP! IT WOULDN'T HAVE EVEN ESCALATED TO THIS!
Riku- Freddy wasn't there to remind you now was he?
Sora- The power of love is nothing to fool with, love can alter man's choices like a mother fucker. A selfish man killed by love will come back with a strong heart for others.
Riku- It ain't fake or porn love either. It's tat pure real turnt up love bitch!
Sora- Until you, your zealots, stooges and worshipers of all races knows this, your ominous plans will never succeed and they too, will fail in abetting your success.
Anonymous begins to fade in flames.
Anonymous- Farewell...for now. Jesters are the best type of humans; constantly generating ways to give mirth and hilarity to their audiences. My two devotees, I shall return with a vengeance; for I am the devil's...queen.[She vanishes and the flames with her.]
Riku- See, We wroop Mike Tyson, Hulk, errbodies ass bra! We the knights of light! Nothin's gonna git pass us!
They high-five and fist bump each other.
Sora- We won't be seeing her for a good ass while.
Riku- Fuck yeah! I'm pretty sure the devil is gonna bitch slap the bitch!
Sora- Drop her. She's done for and I wanna forget this ever happened.
Riku- Man I hear you. Now how in the hell we gonna git up out this bitch?!
Light appears before them.
Light- I can't ever thank you enough. As long as you have faith, you will be fine. She and he is nothing to fear. Now onto me.
Sora- I hope this is the last and final threat.
Light- It is for one-hundred thousand two-hundred years.
Riku- We'll be long graved but that's alright. New folks will take our place.
They step unto the light and it fades them from darkness.
Light- Adieu, my fine angels.
Riku- (in his sleep){M, I, AAAAAAAAAAAA HEYYYYYYYYY! Back in my MMMM, IIIIII, AAAAAAAAAA HEY HEY HAAAAAAAAAAAH! "Since she's been away,"...AAAAAAA WAYYYYYYYYYEEEEEEEE HIIIIIGHH HAAAAAAA HAAAAAA! For ten-thousand yearrrrrrrrrr...}[he holds this note with his hand near his mouth like he's holding a microphone.]
A girl with blue hair pokes him in the love handle. Riku sits up swiftly, with his hands, arms and glare in combat mode.
Aqua- Calm down cowboy.
Riku- [bewildered and gawking at his surroundings] Damn that was fast!
Aqua- Huh?
He glances at her, just to get an "Are you okay?" stare in return.
Riku- Please don't look at me like that water pie.
Aqua- Did your dream contain some...type of powerful drug?
Riku- Girl I don't do drugs, I don't do crack, I don't do meth! drugs got nothin' on me!
Aqua- No trouble no trouble!...We calm?
Riku- Yea. I saw some strange shit, but this right here tops it all.
Aqua- Well I'll be back.[she turns and walks away.]
Riku-[staring at her ass] Jinks! Bed and breakfast! Booty water swag turns up water fall lake!
Aqua stops and looks disbelievingly back at him.
Aqua- You sure you didn't sniff some crystals in your reverie?
Riku- Gal swaggin' on my d fo' twenty houras! Fuckin' up tat Wezzy F Baby! Front do' gone off from feral pleasure!
Aqua- O...kay...[she left him completely]
Riku- Sway man on deck, Gittin' on his boat, ridin' through the ocean, tunin' up his radio playin' tat Jezzy R.O.Z.A.Y! Kingdom Hearts trippin' on my nut sack gittin' on my two pack, fuckin' wit my new clack! Yea boy I still got it! Fuck breakfast, go straight to bed!
Sora walks by just shaking his head at him.
Sora- Boy. You scared your sex partner away.
Riku- Hell no bra! She gettin' me breakfast, part uno for Sexdom Hearts.
Sora- No. You scared her away bra. She's not coming back.
Aqua- Whose not coming back? [appearing beside him with a plate of chicken and waffles, catching Sora off guard]
Sora- Well damn! Never mind.
Riku- Git your undermining ass out of hear!
Sora- "Emperor of malapropism."
Riku- FAGGOT! Don't remind me of her!
Aqua- Her?!
Sora- He's hallucinating.
Riku- BITCH! You...[he thought about it] ummm yea. I'm seein' thangs.
Aqua- "Her" though.
Riku- This naked whore...
Aqua- NAKED?! WHORE?![crossing her arms and gaining vexation; balancing the plate on them during so]
Riku- Girl let me finish.[He sees Sora telling him to drop it by moving his hand across his neck like he's sawing it off.]
Sora- Jackass in the box!
Riku- Call me sonethin' one mo gin! ONE MO'!
Aqua- So you lied to me. Unless you're a virgin, we won't fuck! Dream or reality, you went up someone's ass![She slams the plate to pieces, tromps out of his crib and slams the door upon exit!]
Riku- You fag! After ALL the shit we been through and benefits, this is how you gonna do.
Sora- I didn't do squat. You entertain it by saying the wrong shit.
Riku- FAGGOT YOU SAID THE WRONG SHIT!
Sora- Well maybe I did. We both fucked up how about that?
Riku- YOU fucked up! I didn't do shit!
Sora- Whatever man.
Riku- Wit yo gay ass. Afraid of sex...that's some fruitful shit!
Sora- I'm not a tree bra.
Riku- I didn't call you a fucking tree!
Sora- You said "fruitful" though.
Riku- And?
Sora- It means you're capable of producing stuff like a mother fucker.
Riku- Tat's right! FUCK LIKE YOU NEVER FUCK BEFORE! You too fruity fo' tat ain't ya? Ya real fruit cake!
Sora- QUIT CALLING ME GAY!
Riku- You just had to mimic what tat bitch said!
Sora- Because you do use words ridiculously!
Riku hops out of bed and rushes to the door.
Riku- Barack Obama, Martin Luther King, and Malcolm X want this gal in their house![He grabs his balls and shakes it at Sora] They want some water to quench their thirst! And they will git it![he drops his nuts and storms out] Oh yeah, eat tat shit! "We shall overcome!"
Sora- BRA THAT'S YOUR MESS IN YOUR HOUSE! Yo shit! Not mine!
Riku- FUCK YOU![putting a middle up at him while still storming away]
Sora- That was gay. Shaking his balls at me. I mean there was a straight way to tell me that. Her poison still lingers in him. You don't need sex to live. Sex ain't top priority; shit optional. Kairi understands this too; that's why we ain't fucking lusty faggot. She likes that touch but like not like that. Damn... I need a nice massage.
Riku searches every house, every cave, but never founds her.
Riku- Am I missing a place? I mean this island's big. We met at a...OH YEAH! [he rushes to the shore and there she is; sitting on the edge of the boardwalk. He didn't go to her right away. He trudges back and forth] Umm gal, this is Sora's fault. No! No I can't say tat!
Aqua- Huh?[she glares behind her and saw Riku trudging back and forth kicking some sand in the process.] What do this HIV bastard want now?
Riku- Maybe I should tell her that weird ass event–hell no! She'll think I really lost my mind. It's true though; she don't know tat and she don't give a flat ass![He don't even notice she's contemplating at him.] It's like it never even happened; it caught you in your sleep like Faggot Krueger! What kind of shit is that? Faggot-ass bitch made her maligent threat attacked both dreams and reality; past, present, and future. She wants history fucked but me and my sidekick said "hell no bitch!" We bulged her ass up like two mother fuckers who got nothin' to lose! Turnt up on that bitch like Christmas and Thanksgiving!
Aqua giggles loud enough for Riku to hear; it wasn't intentionally.
Riku- Wat's so funny?! Man thinkin' ovr err! MAN THINKIN', OVR ERRRR!
Aqua just lost it. She laughs uncontrollably and can't help herself. Riku blankly stares at her.
Riku- Wra? You heard all tat? I was real lout wit it?
Aqua- YESSS![She continues laughing]
Riku- Well damn. The lord of light made brains and I don't even know how use mine. I was talking in si-lance!
She laughs even harder.
Riku- You know when you use your brain to talk, no one hears your ass! No one hears your thoughts! But you did! HOT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TAT I'm not no jesta! I'm a keyblade gangsta! Girl you need to stop frontin!'
She calms down a minute later.
Aqua- Front about what? You the one going off on yourself.
Riku- So you heard my mind talk. You think I'm lying? I'm a clown wit a big ass nose?!
Aqua- Well...[She turns to the sunset] I did have this awkward dream about this "dark woman." Talk about disturbing. This girl had no cloths but slime and said something like "I'm free from clothed prison." She makes my skin dry.
Riku- What? You know about that bitch?!
Aqua- I guess. She made me her bitch without a blink of the eye and commanded me to live "freely and without reserve."
Riku- YESSS! We toed her naked ass up!
Aqua-...Yeah. I see it now. You can't fathom what it was like; corruption, killing and blood all over, savage animals going at you. It was Hell on Earth and I was on the verge of being killed too. Right in the nick of time, light came and eradicated it all.
Riku-(dancing) That's what's up! Them ass-holes failed hard! Bitchy ass don't no what came and got ho!
Aqua- Come here!
He stops dancing and gets anxious.
Riku- Umm...[he slowly gets on the boardwalk and moves at a slow pace.] umm...what's up? You no, umm..no trouble dig?
She glares at him intensely.
Aqua- Walk faster! Lift them legs up!
Riku- YOO! YO! PLEASE NO!
Aqua- STOP WHINING!
He screams and walks a little faster towards her.
Riku- You gonna do somethin.'...I see red.
Aqua- And I see pink. MARCH!
Riku-...But my roots.
Aqua- What about them?
Riku-...My square root of tree. I li–I like my roots.
Aqua- You being absurd.
Riku- You got somethin' for President Roots. They worked hard fo' their loot and umm...you 'bout to take it.
She closes her eyelids half way at him.
Riku- Noo! No! Please don't look at me like that! That's that mad sleepy look.
He finally reaches her.
Aqua- Sit.[pointing at the spot she wants him to sit on]
Riku- Well[he scrutinize the sunset ocean] you see I don't like edges. I fall off the bitch every time.
Aqua- SIT!
He very slowly eases his bottom down, but refuses to let his legs go off the edge.
Aqua- Legs.
Riku- What about em'?
Aqua- Put them out.
He scrutinize the ocean once more.
Riku- Hell to the nah the devil is a lie! Them sharks don't play! They will git my ass!
Aqua- Oh my goodness. This ain't Lake Nicaragua! LEGS OUT NOW!
Riku- Ok damn![he extremely slowly moves his legs towards the edge.]
She pushes them off. He almost fell off from that.
Riku- Oh shit damn! I had this on check!
Aqua- Yeah like a slug.
From a distance Sora and Kairi watches them. They was holding hands and she lays her head on his chest to hear his heart beat. He wraps a free arm around her body.
Kairi- Aren't they romantic?
Sora- Yep. Just like us.
Kairi- You think they will actually do it?
Sora- Do what?
She looks at him like you know what I'm talking about.
Sora- Oh...the bizarreness. Well I'm not jumping to conclusions. And that's noisy as hell.
She puts her head back on Sora's chest.
Kairi- I know. Riku has an anxiety problem.
Sora- Heh heh, girl please. That's all fabricated. What he really has is OCD.
Kairi- He don't look like the type.
Sora- Man y'all need to hang out more.
Kairi- He's too mean.
Sora- There you go. OCD.
Kairi- Well...that's partially true.
Sora- And the man's bipolar.
She moves her head off his chest immediately.
Kairi- Sora that's your best friend!
Sora- I know but this man got problems. He got schizophrenia real bad too.
Kairi- And you got psychosis.
Sora- Nay I'm straight.
Kairi- Oh really. Telling me about this bare female Azazel and her prophecy is not through hallucination?
Sora- That's the truth!
Riku- KILL EM'!
Sora- GET YOUR NOSE!*sigh* That actually happened.
Kairi- Where is she then?
Sora- We sent her ass home! We pack her shit up and threw it at her. We stumbled her naked ass in them flames; brought her bitch ass justice!
Kairi- Well go and pick her up. I would like to meet her.
Sora- Girl you must be out you got...
She kisses him in the mouth. Sora looks askance intensely at her with wide eyes.
Sora- Ummm...what just happened? Was that a spasm?
Kairi- Oh dear. My feelings for you are escalating.
Sora's eyes widens until it reaches the point it can't.
Kairi- Don't look at me like that; looking like a lost puppy. Please don't tell me you never strong feelings for me too.
Riku and Aqua was walking pass them, but this catches their full attention; especially Riku's.
Riku- Sora, remember tat talk we had? Prove to me you're a man.
Sora- FAGGOT I AM A MAN!
Riku- No trouble no trouble. This man right 'chea about to make the presidents happy! Ain't tat right water queen?
Aqua- That's right. First one there gets wet!
They race off.
Sora- You see this? They about to get that panic disorder.
Kairi- Well?
Sora- I never really though about it.
Kairi- No. Do you have strong feelings for me?
Sora- Yeah I do.
Kairi- But you never though about it.
Sora- I mean uh...the world is constantly at stake. How will we do stuff if darkness takes over?
Kairi- Yeah but still, let me affirm you that soldiers at war think about their love ones everyday all the time.
He gets up.
Sora- I think about you all the time. Before and after the war. You're my life, moon and sun. I'm a heartless without you. You're the reason social phobia left the building. You got rid of Alzheimer's; I would have perish if that stayed on me. You're basically made my heart healthy and active...Yep that's right, the golden key that freed me from her prison.
Kairi cries and sobs acutely.
Sora- Come to think if we didn't even meet, she would have been conquered Kingdom Hearts effortlessly killing all the confronters that would have attempted to kill her.
Kairi- Oh S-SORA![she runs to him and hugs him tightly]
Sora- Ooof! Yeah. I'm a man. I didn't even know I had such sentiments. It must have come from that talking light. I guess utter faith will take you a long way. Thank you for giving me wisdom and courage. It came just in time.
Kairi- You want some cinnamon grapes?
Sora- Give it to me baby.
He picks up her and strides to their favorite tree house and they...remade history.
So there you have it. No more dark sagas for nearly one-hundred thousand two-hundred years. Peace is finally free from sin. We deserve this long peaceful life after all the years worth of shit we been through. Without a doubt, Anonymous and Satan will return and repeat their attempts of darkening the world. For now, let our heroes fuck; they merit it.
Quoted Credits
Patrick Henry – "Liberty or death"
Drake – Miss Me
Twista – So Sexy
The Dream – Mr. Yeah
Mortal Kombat
Omarion – M.I.A.
M.L.K. – "We Shall Overcome"
Kingdom Hearts