Drabbles. Mostly the Trio-centric, Mikado-centric, and Orihara-centric.
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"Masaomi, have you regretted ever trying to save me?" The question was asked the same way someone talked about the weather forecast. And yet everything about this situation wasn't normal at all.
"If anything," Masaomi took a deep breath, holding all his rage. "-I regret ever letting you meet that bastard."
Despite watching the news of what had left behind after the 'Sand storm', Mikado looked the same as always. This clearly wasn't normal, right?
Is he blaming himself? Masaomi couldn't help but wonder.
But even though it was true that Mikado played a big part in the chaos, he was also just another victim of Orihara Izaya.
After all, if he wasn't one, then he wouldn't have ended up here in the hospital, broken like Saki was a few years ago.
Even just the thought of mentioning that bastard made him felt wanting to punch something. He could almost sympathize with Shizuo, who had always been chasing the bastard around with a vending machine.
Mikado smiled at him, it was his Dollars-smile. The smile that he totally couldn't dechiper. Actually, he wasn't sure if anyone could understand the meaning behind that smile. Probably not even Orihara Izaya.
His best friend was ordinary. Anyone could see it within a glance, and looking at him now, Mikado certainly hadn't changed. But something in him had been warped, twisted into something that co-existed together with his kindness.
Masaomi had always regretted it.
If only-
"I already told you, didn't I? Even though Orihara Izaya-san didn't say those words to me, I would have realized it myself."
"And I already told you, didn't I? That's what he wanted you to think. He's a bastard like that."
Mikado went quiet but Masaomi had the most uncomfortable feeling that this wouldn't be the last time they had this conversation.
"Do you regretted being saved?"
Mikado shuddered.
That was a good sign, right? Surely it meant that Mikado still had a sense of self-preservation, right?
Please tell me what you're thinking, Mikado.
Saying those thought out loud would be hypocritical of him.
"I am really glad Celty-san saved me," His smile turned into something more similiar and Masaomi couldn't help but feel a wave of relief washing him. This was the Mikado that he was familiar with. The ordinary and weak Ryuugamine Mikado.
Masaomi lightly hit his best friend's head. "Then, stop rushing to dangerous things, you fool."
Mikado pouted at him.
This was good. This was totally what Masaomi loved from Ikebukuro. Not the exciting weirdness and things that only existed in fantasy. Just the plain simple city that everyone was living in, that Mikado living in.
"If I..." The Dollars-smile returned. "If I ever fall so far like that again, will you-I mean, just hypothetically-"
"I'll save you again then kick your ass."
Ah, in the end, this was what it was. Because this was Ikebukuro and Mikado had become a part of it.
That twisted smile softened. "I see. I am glad."
If it ever happens again, I'll stop you. Masaomi smiled back. I'll defintely stop you, so please don't look as if you have given up.
"Besides Anri will cry. As a man, we shouldn't make a girl cry."
"You're right, Masaomi."
Strangely enough, that twisted smile that Mikado had worn as he was about to shoot himself still stayed.
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Anri couldn't understand human's thoughts. This was fine. Because she was just a parasyte, she didn't have to understand.
But Ryuugamine Mikado and Masaomi Kida had become an exception. Saika hummed for those two, a soft tune that reminded her of her mother's lullaby. Anri wanted to understand. She wanted to know everything. That was the least she could do.
And yet despite her resolve, Anri suspected that she might never understand. According to Kida, Ryuugamine was simple and straightforward. That much, Anri could understand.
And that's why Anri, Kida had said. You can just ask him straight up.
"What are you thinking?"
"Eh?" Ryuugamined seemed startled. He turned away from the television.
"Ryuugamine-kun, you've been watching the news intently."
"Ah," Ryuugamine smiled. It wasn't his usual smile but Anri remembered that smile. A strangely cheerful expression that gave off the feeling of disconnection. "I just want to know."
"Know what?"
From the look on Ryuugamine's face, Anri wondered if she had asked too much. In all honesty, it took everything in her will to not hold back and say, Never mind.
But if nothing changed, then she would never change either. As well as their relationship.
She cooly held Ryuugamine's gaze, doing everything in power to not turn away.
"Sonohara-san, if you know this, you might hate me. But, a promise is a promise, after all."
"I can't hate you," Anri confessed.
"I expected this of Masaomi but I really didn't know you can be very stubborn as well, Sonohara-san."
Anri lowered her head. "Is that bothering you?"
Ryuugamine shook his head. "I am just surprised. Ah, but how should I explain this?" He turned back watching the television. "I am actually happy when I see the news."
Ryuugamine's blue eyes glanced at her, examining her reaction. "Because it means I have received my goals. Though, it turned out different than I expected, but in the end Dollars are no longer exist."
This was it. This was the side of Ryuugamine that Anri had seen but hadn't known it existed.
This was a weird experience, Anri noted. Despite talking with the same soft tone and gentle voice, this Ryuugamine Mikado was...
No, this isn't it.
Simple and straight-forward.
He was just Ryuugamine Mikado.
"But you also feel guilty, right, Ryuugamine-kun?"
The strange smile dissolved and right now Ryuugamine looked just like an ordinary high-schooler. A sad ordinary high-schooler.
"I still remember that feeling. The rush of adrenaline as I pointed the gun to my head."
Anri tensed. Despite already sharing their secrets and stories, this was one thing that Ryuugamine never talked about.
"At the time, I thought 'Because I am the way I am, if I don't end this here, then-'"
"But you won't hurt us like that, Ryuugamine-kun."
She held Ryuugamine's hand, feeling his pulse under her skin. Alive and breathing.
The strange smile returned.
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A familiar number calling him.
Mikado examined it for a few seconds before accepting the call.
"Do you miss me, Ryuugamine Mikado-kun?"
"Izaya-san, are you alright? I heard Shizuo almost killed you this time. Everyone also said you disappear."
"That's right. That's what I decided. Let's just say I want to take on vacation."
"I guess this time Shizuo-san really did a number on you?"
A brief silence. Mikado couldn't help but smile.
"How about you, Mikado-kun?"
Ah, so Izaya called him to observe him. Probably for one last time, considering Masaomi and Sonohara made extra sure nobody mentioned his name around Mikado.
He chuckled. That was really just like Izaya.
"Izaya-san, I thought about it. It's just like you said. Even now, the feeling of holding a gun with my own hand and all the dangerous stuff I had to face, I have gotten used to it. I am still standing at the seashore. And yet something clearly has changed."
"Is that so?"
How strange. Despite not being able to talk face to face, Mikado could clearly imagine what expression Izaya was wearing right now. It had always been the case with Izaya.
Right now, his expression was probably pure delight.
"I didn't want to just follow the current anymore, I had told you that didn't I? But it's no use anymore. Even now, I just look up at the sky and feel like nothing change. Even though everything has definitely changed already. I guess this is just the usual Ikebukuro."
"How interesting, Mikado-kun. It's really interesting talking to you."
"But you're different, Izaya-san. You're not worried about stuff like that. As expected, you had crossed the line this time, right?" Mikado sighed, worry stirred in his heart. Then with a smile, he continued. "But I guess it's about time you stop messing around with the humans you love so much."
"Since Mikado-kun has shared an interesting piece of information, let me tell you something. Because you're the way you are and Ikebukuro is the way it is, one day someone will come and take over my place. Maybe someday someone who can beat up Shizu-chan will come too."
"I already know that."
"And what will happen if Ikebukuro becomes a place that can't accept the monster Sonohara Anri and the gang leader Kida Masaomi, I wonder?"
"Then I'll fight the current. When that time comes I might fall deeper than before."
Izaya laughed. "Mikado-kun, you're really interesting."
"Ah, but, Izaya-san, when that time comes, Sonohara-san and Masaomi will be by my side. Because I don't really want anyone to get hurt, then I might let myself swallowed by the current."
"That's fine. You're a human. You make your own choice."
Izaya-san is really enjoying this, Mikado reflected.
"But what about you, Izaya-san? Are you going to accept it as it is?"
Another brief silence.
"Yeah," a soft tone. "It was scary, Mikado-kun. I am diagnosed with PTSD and I probably can't walk anymore."
"It's that bad?" Mikado asked, concerned.
"It's fine, really. If anything I'll accept this as my punishment."
"I see, then please, take a good care of yourself."
Izaya hang up.
Mikado wondered if he was actually spying him somewhere because the timing couldn't be anymore right.
Masaomi busted in, Sonohara smiling by his side. Her smile faltered when she saw his face.
"Did something happen?"
"Ah, actually-" Mikado hesitated. "No, it's nothing."
Masaomi's eyes narrowed. Both him and Sonohara was totally unconvinced. Mikado wasn't really good at lying. It wasn't like he wanted to lie in the first place. But he didn't want to make them worried. They were on edge, something, Mikado didn't know what, was clearly bothering them. Mikado didn't want to know what they would do if they knew Izaya had just contacted him.
"Ah, it's a good shiny day," he said, looking through the glass wall.
"Yeah," Masaomi relaxed and sat beside him. "You're right."
Sonohara smiled.
If possible, just the three of them staying together like this was totally fine.