James T Kirk was a young boy who lived on the southern edge of Texas. It was the early twenty-third century. Kirk had always dreamed of being part of the United Federation of Planets. He wondered what his life would be like. Then, one day a small Klingon ship crash landed on him, killing him, instantly.
Thankfully, the Klingon soldier piloting the vessel was carrying a tool commonly carried by Klingon warriors (especially around their captains) and that was a back-to-life gun. He shot James with the gun and through a process of cheesy effects that looked like they belonged in a 1960's science fiction TV show, Kirk was reborn!
He looked curiously up at the Klingon soldier in front of him. "Can i see that"? kirk said, pointing at the back-to-life gun. "No, now step aside human!" Kirk began to argue and accidently made the Klingon shoot himself with the back-to-life gun which, since he was already living, killed him! Kirk, panicing and not thinking to just shoot the Klingon again, ran away leaving the Klingon and the gun. The next morning he would find out what happens when someone shoots a human with a Klingon weapon.
"WHAT THE FUCKEDY FUCK HAPPENED TO ME!!!!!!" Kirk shouted as he looked in the mirror. He had transformed into a fully-armored Klingon soldier, similar to the one he had killed the other day. "HEY, KEEP IT DOWN UP THERE!" yelled Kirk's grandmother, he lived with his grandparents both of whom didn't give a damn about him. Kirk had to get out of the house, so he quietly went down the stairs and was getting neer the door when he heard his grandmother coming. He quickly snuck down the nearby stairs leading to the basement. However, Kirk's grandmother also came down to the basement. Kirk was shocked at how his grandmother didn't even look suprised at the fact that there was a klingon in her house. She simply looked bored and for a few minutes kirk just awkwardly stood there until, out of nowwhere, his grandmother shouted upstairs "HENRY, THERE'S A KLINGON IN THE BASEMENT!!!" Her husband replied immediatly with "SHOOT IT!" Kirk looked in shock as his grandma reached into her pocket and pulled out a GIANT MACHINE GUN! She pointed it at kirk, said "DIE! KLINGON BITCH!" Then she open fired on kirk.