Notes: Hi! ^_^ I started writing this year's ago but than let it sit on a disk for years. I hope you like it!
It still isn't done but hopefully with time (and plenty of kind R&R's ;), I'll finish it. ^_^ Enjoy!
// = Denotes song lyrics
Rated: PG (maybe possible change in future)
Song by Tracey Ullman - "They Don't Know"
Genre: Shonen-ai
Sub-Genres: Angst, H/C, Romance, Drama
They Don't Know
By Dementia_12
[At Ryo's Apartment]
Ryo looked over at Dee, who was battling Vikky for the thousandth time. Dee had made the mistake of mocking Vikky and pinching his cheek, earning a swift kick to the gut.
He sighed, as he tossed a Caesar salad for dinner. It was no use to try to break them up; he had learned that a long time ago and had a bruise on his leg that had yet to heal to prove it. Not that Dee didn't try to kiss it better...
//You've been around for such a long time now//
How long has it been now? How long have we been together, as partners and as friends?
He mentally calculated as he stooped to pick up the salad dressing from the lower shelf of the fridge.
It's been...just over 2 years.
Amazing! He's withstood Dee's advances, and teasing, for nearly two entire years!
Shaking his head, he couldn't help a little smile from forming. Taking all the food he prepared to the small dining table, he heard a groan and walked into the living room to see Dee lying face down on the floor with a bump on his head.
"Dee?"
//Oh maybe I could leave you but I don't know how.//
Another groan permeated the air. Ryo crouched down as Dee tried to sit up only to collapse back down.
"Dee, you can't defeat a little boy in a fight? That's just sad."
Dee turned his face toward him with an angry frown on his face. "That kid is the spawn of Satan." he said meaningfully.
"Okay, Dee." Ryo responded in an obviously patronizing tone, earning a growl from the invalid on the floor.
A moment of silence passed.
"Leave me alone, Ryo. -- Just leave me here to die of my crippling wounds that your Devil child has left me with."
Ryo laughed at that. "Where is Vikky, anyway?"
"Cal's."
Ryo frowned disapprovingly. "Now he'll miss my dinner!"
Dee valiantly raised himself up into a sitting position, finally successful.
"Spawn doesn't deserve your wonderful meal, anyway."
Ryo just raised an eyebrow at him and stood, gesturing for Dee to do the same."C'mon. Let's eat."
They walked to the table and sat, readying themselves with a prayer of thanks to Kami-sama.
They ate quietly, leaving each to their private thoughts. Ryo chewed on his grilled fish and as he continued, he heard Dee's murmurs of appreciation for his efforts in their cuisine.
"Dee."Dee stopped short of forking more fish into his mouth, "Huh?"
"Did you know it's been nearly two years since we've known each other?"
Dee placed his fork in his plate, and sighed as he ran a hand through his long bangs.
"Yeah, I know."
Ryo blinked in surprise.
"You sounded a little...sad about that." he questioned curiously.
"Maybe I am a little."
Not knowing how to respond, Ryo kept his silence.
He knew for a fact that Dee liked his company; he practically lived with Vikky and him.
"I've been thinking about us recently. We're getting nowhere. I mean, together."
//And why should I be lonely every night//
Dee watched for Ryo's reaction. A flicker of hurt and confusion passed through his eyes.
"What are you talking about?"
"Look, I know I'm being abrupt and all but.... Well, I'm not happy. And I've been thinking about it, and actually went to the Convent the other day to talk to Sister about it, and she says I deserve to be happy.
I'd never...we've--we want different things."
"Dee, you're not making sense.", Ryo said rationally.
Dee looked up and held his gaze, assuring himself that Ryo was focused on his next words.
"Ryo, I love you."
Saying Ryo was shocked would have been a gross understatement. The word "poleaxe" came to mind.
Dee watched Ryo try to form a sentence but it apparently wouldn't come out. Dee himself couldn't believe what he was saying, but felt it was long past due. Not that that kind of reasoning lessened the hurt at all. It hurt like hell. Especially knowing that the man he loved didn't feel the same way in the least.Shit, it had taken this long to realize what a one-sided relationship -- Dee gave a mental snicker at the last word -- he had with Ryo.
He'd push, Ryo pulled.
He'd pounce, Ryo would run.
He'd move for a hug, and Ryo would look stricken at his closeness.
It wasn't worth the grief he'd been secretly harbouring alongside the hope he had in his heart. Ryo had made it clear a thousand times over that he had never wanted him, but had tolerated him for only God-know-why.
Well, if Ryo was too polite to do it, he would have to.
//When I can be with you - oh yes you make it right//
"No words, Ryo? That's too bad. I waited all this time to spring this on you, only to end up having you do a really bad fish impersonation."
Dee's mocking words broke through to Ryo's consciousness and he snapped his mouth shut.Yet the erratic pounding rhythm of his heart which pulsed since Dee's declaration continued.
"Anou...Dee, this isn't something you get to hear everyday.... I'm not sure what to say.", Ryo responded tentatively.
Black strands of hair fell into Dee's eyes as he turned slightly away from his partner in justice.
"Yeah, well, you don't spend as much time with JJ as I do, then."
Sharp jade eyes locked on befuddled dark brown ones.
"It doesn't matter anyways, Ryo."
Dee stood up as Ryo watched his motions in bewilderment.
Dee loves me, but it doesn't matter? Ryo thought in a haze of confusion.
It was what he had always wanted!
He sat dumbly as Dee picked up his jacket and swung it over his shoulder.
It was then he realized that Dee was leaving! The thought galvanized Ryo into motion.
He rushed in front of Dee who was about to exit without another word and blocked his path by plastering himself against the door.
"Matte!"
"Randy, move."
Ryo gasped in surprise at the use of his English name on Dee's lips.
The one person he had always been "Ryo" to.
The person who always made his name sound like he was rehearsing the most poetic endearment was now curtly calling him "Randy", like some stranger.
That hurt more than Dee could have possibly known.
Or maybe as much as it was meant to hurt.
"Dee."
Inwardly, Dee heard the sadness he had caused in Ryo by deliberately using his other name, but it was time to let things go. Things had to change.
Or maybe he wanted Ryo to feel at least a small resemblance of the pain he was feeling.
//And I don't listen to the guys who say//
"Spit it out or move, okay?""Okay!" came the annoyed response at being rushed but Ryo took in a deep breath and began to slowly speak.
"Dee, about what you said...well, I--I think it matters."
Anticipating seeing an effect to those words, he was left disappointed but continued.
"What...well, I'm trying to say is that I...feel the same way."
A face cut in stone gazed back at him, and frustration at Dee for making things harder made his voice stronger.
"Dammit Dee! You could make things easier! I love you, too, okay!?"
As the words left his mouth, Ryo was mortified at how he could take his long guarded secret and
shout them at the person he loved like an insult.
//That you're bad for me and I should turn you away//
His face flushed furiously in shame and residual anger, now aimed at himself, but he dared to look at Dee in hopes to see his toothy grin once again.
No...
The face that looked back at him was devoid of expression.
How could that be?!
No,... actually there was the tiniest angry spark glowing in the embers of green fire but its appearance seemed out-of-place to Ryo.
But alarming.
Dee placed a hand on Ryo's shoulder and it bit into his flesh as he was forcefully moved out of the way.Dee threw the door open and left, slamming it closed with a resounding bang.
//'Cause they don't know 'bout us//
Rubbing his shoulder lightly, he gazed at the closed door for a moment before sitting down before the two cold fish dinners.What had just happened here? he asked himself.
Dee left you.... Whispering pain from his heart echoed this sentiment.
It's over..... Chanted the tear that rolled down his cheek.
He hates you now.... Murmured the bruises from his shoulders.
He laid his hands on the table in disbelief.
No, that can't be...
He hates you now...his body throbbed in unison.
Ryo's face crumpled at the very real possibility and buried his face in his hands as anguish overcame him.
//And they've never heard of love//
To be continued….