Shut Up!
A/N: This is a birthday gift for the lovely StarsAreAMetaphor. Have a great birthday. I hope you like this! Thanks to jlz_1 and Sassy_26 for the beta!
Prompt: The Four Times Noah Puckerman Got Rachel Berry to Shut Up and the One Time He Didn't
AU Season 2 where Finchel does not happen!
Disclaimer: I don't own Glee or anything Glee related. I do have a completely unnatural obsession with the show and all things Mark Salling related.
Santana approaches Puck in the hallway after Glee practice. "Hey, you telling Berry to 'Shut Up' at Sunshine's audition was freaking classic. I'm almost impressed because Crazy Train could talk the reinstated chastity belt off of Fabray for Christssake."
Puck smirks and closes his locker. "Not the first time I've shut her up and it won't be the last."
"Wanna put your money where your mouth is?" the Latina asks.
Puck leans into her, allowing his gaze to graze up and down her tight body and the new D cups she had installed over the summer. "Whatcha have in mind for my mouth babe?" he nearly growls in her ear.
She pushes him back into the locker replying, "Not that. I was wondering if you'd want to make a little wager. I don't think you can get Berry to shut up in the midst of one of her rants for five days straight."
"Oh, I'm sure I can. But what is my motivation Tan? It'll take some effort – so what's in it for me?" He locks his gaze on her chest.
"You get 20 minutes to play with the new goods," Santana motions across her chest. "If I win, you have to get Finn to give me a second chance."
"Hudson? Really Lopez?" he asks. Santana shrugs her shoulder and bites her lip. The Latina turns quickly on her heel and marches down the hall toward the exit. She turns back to face Puck.
"Is it a bet?" she asks.
"It's on – starting Monday," he replies.
Santana grins to herself as she enters the cafeteria on Monday. She knows that with no Glee practice and Puck's record for skipping classes fully intact, that lunch will be the only time he has to get Rachel into a rant and to get her to subsequently shut up.
She has actually been thinking all weekend about how Puck is going to pull this off. She has been looking forward to this for three days. Santana approaches the Glee table and sits across from Rachel who is clearly mid-hissyfit.
"I just thought it was high time the Ohio Education Association's Nutritional Department realized that vegan is a legitimate dietary solution for many healthy teens and the fact that I had to obtain a court order to get the Lima Public Schools to provide a hot, vegan option daily is atrocious. I am very excited to try this Vegan Chili. I think all of you should try it as well."
Kurt and Mercedes are rolling their eyes so quickly they both look like they are having seizures and Brittany just looks confused.
Rachel continues, "I'm not sure why you all won't try it."
Puck interrupts, "Berry, do you think the lunch ladies are happy about having to whip up a separate entrée just for your crazy ass each day?"
"Noah, I assure you that others will partake in this healthy, nutritional option," Rachel huffs. She picks up her first spoonful of vegan chili and blows on it before taking a bite.
"Yeah, well if they do they'll be getting a big fucking surprise." Puck flips a picture at Rachel showing him mixing ground beef into the tofu chili.
Rachel sputters and drops her spoon without taking a bite. She stands, glares at Puck and grabs her smoothie and takes a sip. She licks her lips and stomps off.
Puck holds up a single finger at Santana, stares at her chest and wonders why all he can think about is the straw in Rachel's smoothie.
On Tuesday they have Glee practice so Santana figures that will be the scene for today's portion of the wager. They are working on choreography for Sectionals. The song is I'm in a New York State of Mind and Schue is trying more intricate, almost intimate dance moves with the slower tempo of this selection. Rachel and Noah are paired up and the results are hilarious. Noah gets all the steps down perfectly but Santana can see that he is leaving his hands on Rachel longer than he should and strategically moving them higher or lower than they ought to be.
Rachel feels Noah's grazing touch in places that really aren't appropriate for Glee practice – or an NC 17 movie even. The first time Noah grazes her breast she blushes a little and the hairs on the back of her neck stand up. The third time he touches her ass she feels a stirring between her legs and her breath hitches. The seventh time he grinds into her when she is swaying in front of him, she loses it.
Rachel stomps on his toe and screams, "Puckerman – cut the crap!" The other 10 members of Glee and Schue collectively gasp at Rachel almost swearing. "I know that you don't take any of this seriously – but can't you just behave yourself? I don't understand what possess you to think…." She is still speaking with Puck's hand clasped over her mouth. All the rest of the room can hear is the pitch changes and some garbled syllables.
"Dammit Berry, I was doing all this for you and for the team. Trust me, I didn't get any pleasure out of the last hour either," he chuckles knowing this is total bullshit. He has a raging boner and he can't forget how silky the skin is under the hem of her skirt or in the gap between her blouse and waistband.
He continues, "You're always center freaking stage with those great pipes of yours. But ya need to loosen up. It affects your performance – actually OUR performance. You're tense and that's why you're not a great dancer like Santana and Brittany."
He releases his grip from her mouth when he realizes she isn't muttering any longer.
Rachel thinks about the 2,000 reasons why she is actually a better dancer than Santana but he clearly has a point about Brittany, she is really good. She decides to retreat instead by pushing Puck to the side, grabbing her books and storming into the hallway.
Puck holds two fingers up toward Santana and is very grateful that his shirt is long and untucked today.
Santana is really curious about how Wednesday is going to play out. She knows the cafeteria won't work again and there is no Glee practice today. Puck and Rachel only have one class together and it's last period, English Lit. While Puck rarely attends, Santana is psyched she is in the class with them. She predicts Puck will show up and this is where the shit is gonna go down.
As she enters the classroom it is freezing and Mrs. Bates is at the front of the room freaking out. "Class, I don't know what happened. The room was fine 15 minutes ago and near the end of the last period, it just kept getting colder and colder. I paged maintenance but they aren't answering. Please just discuss the last three chapters from Great Expectations in your normal pairings. Ummm, Ms. Berry it seems Mr. Chang is not here today but Mr. Puckerman has decided to grace us with his presence. Please work with him today." The blonde, bespectacled teacher rushes from the room.
Rachel was not thrilled with her assigned partner – obviously – or her current ensemble, a cute black and purple plaid mini skirt, black flats and white button down. She thought it looked lovely paired with the pearl necklace and earrings her fathers had given her for her last birthday. The blouse certainly was doing nothing to disguise the chill in the room.
Puck was in the back of the room, seated near the vent pushing all the cold air into the room. He motions for her to join him. She heads toward the back of the class with her notebook and flagged copy of the novel in hand.
"Noah, why do you insist on sitting under the vent? It is freezing in here and I can't concentrate."
Puck smirks, "C'mon. The disciplined Rachel Berry can't focus with a little cold air on her? Gimme a break."
Rachel smirks back, "You have a point Noah. So Great Expectations. Have you been keeping up with the assignments? What are your impressions?"
Puck slides his chair so they are seated next to each other instead of across from one another. Rachel is startled as he opens her book to one of the many flagged pages and leans into her.
"Rach," she notices that he uses her first name for the first time in forever, "do you think that it is a coincidence that I am in class today, Chang isn't and the maintenance guy is not answering his page? It's not."
She shouts, "Puck, what have you done?" He shushes her and sends pointed glances at the rest of the class so they don't react to Rachel's outburst. Santana is laughing in the opposite corner but Rachel doesn't see her.
"What I have done is take advantage of a great opportunity. You are wearing a tight white blouse, it is somewhat see through and you have it unbuttoned lower than normal. I made it very cold in here so I could get the full effect." His voice is sexy and his eyes are wandering and Rachel is no longer feeling all that chilly in the room that had to be registering about 55 degrees by now.
She starts out with a whisper "Puckerman, I cannot believe that you would jeopardize the education of 25 of your classmates just to get a view of whatever." Her tone becomes more serious and she gets progressively louder. "I would turn you in myself but it would likely get you suspended and kicked out of Glee. I'm also not sure of the ramifications for Michael so I will refrain…." She notices that Puck is leaning back in his chair staring lecherously at her chest and not paying attention to a single word she is saying.
Rachel finally demands, "What is it Puck? What is wrong with you?"
Cocking his eyebrow, he responds in a very sultry voice that only Rachel can hear, "Nothin' is wrong babe. All is right in the world of The Puckerone. Your tits are bouncing, I can see your nips as clear as day and that pearl necklace has me thinking about giving you a Puckmeister pearl necklace to replace it. Ya know what that is, right Rach?"
Rachel has turned crimson and her mouth is hanging open. She leaves without gathering her books or her purse. She just turns and leaves.
Puck stares at the floor. Knowing he is winning the bet but worried about how upset Rachel was. He shakes it off and holds up three fingers in Santana's direction. She shakes her head. At the end of the period, Santana grabs Rachel's things and meets her at her locker.
Puck finds a freshman Cheerio and takes her to the janitor's closet to relieve some pressure. He thinks of Ra- Berry as he comes in the girl's mouth. This bet is not turning out like he thought and Puck decides he really doesn't care about 20 minutes with Santana's new melons. He really needs to get back in Rachel's good graces.
Santana saunters up to Puck at the end of the day on Thursday. "So looks like I won. No Berry rants and no shutting her up today. How are you planning to help me with Finn?"
"Yeah, you are loco babe. It's not the end of the day yet. Rachel and I are both volunteering at a fundraiser for the JCC tonight. I plan on shutting her up there. That perv ben Israel will blog about it before midnight. Guaranteed babe!"
"I'll sign on at 11:30 then. Just watch it Puck. Shutting her up is one thing. What you did yesterday looked over the top – even for you!" Santana sneers and leaves the jock leaning on his locker.
Rachel enters the Jewish Community Center fifteen minutes before she is supposed to start her volunteer shift. She approaches Mrs. Nussbaum and asks for her assignment.
"Oh, Rachel. It's lovely to see you. We have had a special request for you to help get the snacks ready in the kitchen. Would you mind going back now even though you are a little early?" The old lady grins at Rachel.
"Of course, Mrs. Nussbaum. I'm happy to help in whatever capacity you need. I don't understand what you mean by special request however."
Mrs. Nussbaum taps Rachel's hand lightly and says, "The gentlemen working in the kitchen specifically asked for you and both of them made a nice donation when I granted their request. Now off with you."
A very confused Rachel Berry enters the kitchen to see Noah Puckerman and Jacob ben Israel leaning against the counter gloating. None of the drinks or food had been started and she contemplated matching their donation and heading straight home. She was still quite rattled by her altercation with Noah in class yesterday. Especially after Googling the meaning of pearl necklace in the privacy of her room the previous evening.
Instead Rachel flashes her most genuine stage smile. "Jacob, Noah. I see we have a lot of work to do. Let's get these drinks on ice and then we can start assembling and warming the food."
Much to her surprise, both boys did exactly what she asked of them for the next hour. Everything was prepared and ready to go about 10 minutes ahead of schedule.
Puck smiles at her genuinely, "Nice job, Berry. You made it look like we knew what we were doing here. JewFro, you are serving and Rach and I will keep everything rolling back here. Let us know what you need and we'll have it staged. Now go feed those old bats before they come in here and start undressing me with their eyes."
Jacob starts taking the initial trays out to the guests. Rachel was quite pleased that the evening had gone without another run in with Puck. She turns away from him and starts preparing another platter of cookies. "Noah, I have been quite pleased that you and I have gotten along this evening. Have I done something to upset you? You seem to have been irritated with me this week and I'm not sure why."
Rachel begins to turn around but soon realizes Puck is right behind her pressing her into the counter. "Noah?" She asks in a whisper.
"Listen Rach, I was out of line yesterday." His voice is low and husky as he whispers in her left ear. He drags his fingertips up and down her arm. "Initially, I was just trying to get a rise out of you but I realized that you and I - we could be good together. I know you think you want Finn but you don't."
Rachel can barely speak. Her skin is on fire and her stomach is full of butterflies. "I don't?"
Puck presses against her harder and Rachel can feel his arousal through the thin fabric of her skirt. "No, you don't. You want the bad boy. The one who will tell you when to loosen up, the one who will tell you when to be quiet and the one who will take the edge off. Rach, trust me, I can help you take the edge off."
Rachel leans her head back and whimpers.
The kitchen door bangs open and Noah turns quickly and finishes the fruit tray he was working on. "Whatcha need next JewFro?"
Rachel is sure that Jacob saw something and when he comes around to her side of the kitchen she knows she is still blushing.
"What did I interrupt in here?" Jacob asks eyeing Rachel in a way that has her craving a shower of the Silkwood variety.
"Nothing, Jacob. Just working to be sure everything runs smoothly out there. Do you need the next pot of coffee?"
He looks at her skeptically and replies, "No, just cookies. They all swear they are on diets but none of them can walk past the sweets." He takes the platter Rachel had been working on and leaves the work area.
Puck does not give her a moment's rest. "So the edge. I'm sure you could use it Rachel. If you just check your Granny Panties, I'm sure you will find them getting a little damp."
Jacob re-enters the kitchen but Rachel is so pissed off at Puck, she doesn't care. "Puck, I will have you know that I do not wear Granny Panties. I have an eclectic collection of undergarments befitting my status as a future star. You may have noticed – no, I AM SURE you noticed - that I was wearing a cupless bra yesterday. That's right, that is why my nipples were so prominent as you so aptly noted yesterday." Jacob drops the tray he was holding and Noah is staring at Rachel slack jawed as she continues.
"So you see Noah, I am not the innocent virgin you portray me to be. I have a lot of surprises. Not the least of which is I am not wearing Granny Panties."
It only takes two words from Noah to shut her up, "Prove it."
Rachel is madder than she has ever been and she will blame her anger for the reaction to Puck's statement. Rachel turns toward the back wall, bends slightly at the waist and lifts her skirt for both boys to see. She has on a lacy red thong. She shakes her ass from side to side and Puck jumps to block JewFro's view. Rachel lowers her skirt and storms out of the JCC.
Puck shakes his head and grabs his phone. He texts Santana, Quattro, and gets back to work.
Santana signs into JewFro's blog at 11:30.
I never thought I would see the day when DivaBerry and Puck would both be struck silent. I witnessed a lingerie debate between the two that included a very revealing conflict resolution. It left both participants unable to speak and this reporter substantially aroused. In the interest of keeping this reality as part of my personal SpankBank, I will provide no further details.
What is up between these two Jewish hotties? Stay tuned!
Puck is staring at his ceiling with an aching cock and the image of Rachel's perfect ass in his mind. His thoughts jump between shutting Rachel up with his cock in her mouth and taking her from behind while he watches that perfect ass grind into him. The whimper in her throat from the kitchen is echoing in his mind as he comes in his hand with her name on his lips.
Santana finds Puck before school and elbows him in the gut. "What the hell? I told you to take it down a notch."
Puck looks down, "I know, it got a little out of control. She started rambling about her underwear and I lost all train of thought since all my blood was in my dick. I'm screwed Tana. I think I want her."
"Well this probably wasn't the best approach moron! You need to offer to do something for her. Like mow the lawn or wash her car or something. And for God's sake call off the bet. Finn is returning my calls and I'm letting you off the hook. Just don't fuck this up. We need her if we're gonna make it to New York asshole!" The Latina stalks off shaking her head at her ex-boyfriend's stupidity.
Noah approaches Rachel on their way to English Lit. Yeah he's going twice in one week – fuck you! "Hey Rach, hold up."
"Noah, I need to apologize for my rash and unladylike behavior yesterday. I'm truly embarrassed and am hoping we can just forget it."
Noah smirks at Rachel, "Beautiful, I can forgive anything but that gorgeous ass of yours; I pray I never forget that image." Rachel blushes and they take their seats.
Noah continues, "Listen, I wanna make it up to you. We don't have practice tonight since our game is tomorrow. The losers we're playing don't have lights on their field so a night game won't fly. How 'bout I wash your car and take you out for pizza."
Rachel shyly tucks her hair behind her ear and utters, "OK, I'd like that."
Noah subtly grazes his fingertips along Rachel's arm and thigh a couple of times in class when Mrs. Bates isn't watching. He figures he has a good couple of months before he gets to see Rachel's perfect ass again. Maybe six weeks if he works at it.
After school, Puck follows Rachel home. She shows him where the hose and car cleaning supplies are and goes into the house to change.
She glances down from her bedroom window and sees Noah removing his shirt. His muscles are rippling as he scrubs every part of the car – the edge Noah referred to last night is completely evident as she gazes at him. She grabs her shortest shorts and a white tank top from the closet.
Rachel emerges from the house a few minutes later with a pitcher of lemonade. "You look hot, Noah." She completely intends the double entendre. "Can I pour some lemonade for you?"
Puck nods while he looks up and down her legs and stares at her chest. He swears she isn't wearing a bra but that doesn't really make sense. This is Rachel Berry after all.
He leans against the side of the house as she inspects the car. He has finished washing and drying the subcompact but still needs to wax it. She stares at the bumper closest to him and bends at the waist. He groans as he appreciates her legs and ass. Rachel stands and saunters towards him.
"Noah," she whispers in his ear. "I think you missed a spot. But before you finish the car we need to talk." She drags her nails teasingly down his torso, tickling the patch of hair directly above his waistband. Puck's eyes close and he groans as he ducks around her and goes to inspect the mysterious spot on the back bumper. Talking was not what he had in mind.
Rachel continues as she walks past him and grazes her hand across his ass as she goes by, "I know about your little bet with Santana, Puck. But as enticing as her chest is, I don't think you want to win."
Puck starts to realize that he really has not been in control of this wager all week like he thought. He turns to see Rachel grab the hose and play with the nozzle.
He decides he has no real input on how this whole thing is going to play out so he decides to go along for the ride.
"Oh really? Why don't I want to shut you up today Rachel? I can think of some pretty creative ways to quiet you down this evening." His thoughts from Thursday night were still clearly etched in his mind.
Rachel replies, "You still look warm Noah. Perhaps this will help you cool off." Rachel squirts him with the hose and giggles. He glances up and her tits are bouncing all over the place. No bra and a white tank top…she needs to get wet NOW!
Noah wrestles the hose away from Rachel and wets her down, her nipples clearly defined under the soaking fabric. He tries to trap her near the garage wall but the sneaky midget is fast and gets away from him. She douses him with the bucket of dirty, soapy water and begins laughing hysterically. Puck gives her his best 'I am sooooo gonna fuck you look' and slowly picks up the bucket and gathers all the car washing supplies. Rachel watches as he puts them all away and rolls up the hose. She is leaning against the side of the house and Noah traps her with his arms kissing her long and hard, their tongues battling for domination. He begins feeling her breasts through the tank top and she grinds against his erection.
Rachel comes to her senses and whispers, "Neighbors…go inside."
Noah laughs, "It's not silence but you're nearly speechless." They laugh and head inside, Rachel directing him to the laundry room.
She is in full Rachel Berry take charge mode, "Put your clothes in the sink. There should be sweatpants and a T shirt that will fit you on the line in there. I'll be back in a second."
She runs up the stairs and comes back with her hair braided and a sleeveless mini dress on. Puck is excited that she is back in a skirt. (Better access for sure!) He flops down on the sofa and turns on SportsCenter.
Rachel starts the laundry and orders pizza. "I assume delivery is OK Noah?"
"Hell yes – delivery is fine. So babe, why exactly don't I want to shut you up tonight?"
Rachel kneels down next to him on the couch and leans in to kiss him on the cheek.
"Well Noah, I am going to rant, albeit quietly, about all the reasons that you should not want me to shut up this evening and then you can decide. OK?"
He nods nearly incoherently.
She nibbles on his ear and places kisses along his jaw when he responds weakly, "OK but you should know Santana and I cancelled the bet. She let me off the hook because I was fucking this up royally."
Rachel pulls back and smiles, "I know the bet was cancelled. But thank you for telling me. Now for my rant. We only have 25 minutes until the pizza gets here and I want to be sure you hear all my arguments."
Puck groaned - both because 25 minutes of this rant might kill him and because Rachel's fingers were grazing his cock through his borrowed sweatpants.
"Like I was saying, I don't think you want me to be quiet. I think you are intrigued when I lick my lips after drinking a smoothie." She kisses him softly and sucks lightly on his bottom lip.
She grabs his hand and places it just under the hem of her dress. "I also think you like the feel of my skin here. I know you did on Tuesday. I could feel your reaction when you ground into me right before my tirade in Glee." Puck cannot decide if he is pissed because Santana and Rachel played him so thoroughly or if he is so turned on he doesn't give a flying fuck. He moves his hand up her thigh and decides he really doesn't give a flying fuck.
He eagerly awaits the replay for Wednesday. Rachel slides the straps of her dress down revealing her breasts to him. He notices she has her pearl necklace on again as he stares at her perfection. She plays with her nipples and he groans. "I know you really enjoyed my nipples and of course, my ass." She stands facing away from and slides her dress to the ground.
He places his hands on her perfect ass thankful that it didn't take six weeks to see it again. He places small kisses on her bottom and back. He stands and turns her towards him. She stares into his eyes and kisses him passionately.
As he pulls away to remove his T shirt, she continues. "But Noah, the biggest reason you do not want to shut me up is that my dads aren't home this weekend and when you take the edge off for me, I really want to scream your name. Please Noah, let me scream your name. You want me to scream your name don't you Noah?" The last sentence is a pleading whisper and barely audible. This is not your normal Berry Rant.
Noah turns and grabs the blanket from the back of the couch. Rachel is puzzled with how calmly he spreads out the blanket and arranges the pillows.
He turns back around and nibbles her ear taking in her graceful, naked, dancer's body. He asks, "You're not a virgin are you, Rach?"
"Nope – summer drama camp. I banged all three straight guys that were there." Her crude language and admission set him off. He grabs her and playfully tosses her on the couch. He slides out of his sweatpants. She giggles and stares longingly at him standing naked before her.
"Twenty minutes til pizza should be enough for Round One. And hell yes - scream my name all weekend at the top of your lungs baby." He kneels between Rachel's legs and within five minutes she has her nails digging into his scalp and is screaming his name for the first time of many that night.
After gorging on pizza and taking the edge off six more times, they fall asleep in each other's arms. The alarm goes off at 7 so Noah can catch the game bus.
Santana receives a text on her way to cheer at the football game.
It worked. I'll be in the stands wearing the #20 jersey. Thanks! How'd it go with Finn?