Written for the glee-kink-meme on livejournal, check my livejournal linked on my profile for details.
When Blaine's eyelids move for the first time in weeks, Sebastian is the only one in the room and he's barely conscious. He, Kurt, Burt, Carole and Cooper have all had a hard time leaving the room since Blaine had first been admitted. It was ridiculous, what had happened to him. A chain reaction at work with some equipment that didn't work that had ended up with Blaine in the hospital in a coma.
Sebastian thinks that he might be seeing things at first, a hallucination caused by too little sleep and too much hope. Kurt's gone to the cafeteria, practically pried out of the room by his father and stepmother to at least get lunch. He's promised he'll bring something back for Sebastian since neither of them want to leave the room. Sebastian doesn't know where Cooper is, probably off to call the Anderson's again. It's sickening to Sebastian how many times they've called but they can't seem to leave their work to come to their son's side.
Seeing Blaine's eyelids moving again, Sebastian shakes himself, realizing that he really is moving and he leans forward. "Blaine? Baby, can you hear me?" It's a pet-name that Sebastian rarely lets himself use, simply because it's not really him. It always made Blaine happy to hear though. Blaine's always loved the silly gestures that Sebastian and Kurt are more than happy to do for him. Sebastian reaches out, pushing his curls off his forehead as Blaine's eyes open slowly.
Sebastian waits, patient, watching as Blaine's eyes slowly come into focus. Sebastian reaches a hand out to press the nurse call button on the hospital bed, his other hand wrapped around Blaine's. He's too tired to really say much of anything, to do anything and he hopes that Kurt's parents will be back up soon. They've been handling things so well and Sebastian is, as always, so grateful for them. Seeing Blaine on the hospital bed like he was pushed Sebastian right back into teenager territory. He wasn't the high-profile, powerful lawyer that he is now but the scared teenager who threw a slushie at a boy to stain his clothes.
Blaine's lips open but he coughs, turning his head. They're great, wracking coughs that shake Blaine's whole body and Sebastian forces himself to stand up on legs that tremble from tiredness, his fingers sliding across Blaine's skin. "Shh, hey, calm down, B. Take a deep breath. Do you want some water?"
"What are you doing here?" Blaine's voice sounds downright venomous in a way that takes Sebastian aback.
It feels like ages before he realizes that Blaine is flinching away from him, looking at him with anger in his eyes and Sebastian pulls away. He's stunned, unsure as he looks at him. "Why wouldn't I be here?" he finally asks, unsure what else to say.
Blaine's eyes narrow and Sebastian so badly just wants to reach forward, to make Blaine calm down but he doesn't think his touch is welcomed considering Blaine's glare. "Haven't you done enough?"
Sebastian shakes his head, trying to figure things out. They hadn't fought the morning of the accident. They'd all kissed and said their I love yous as they'd walked out the door. Before he can open his mouth, not even knowing what he could say, the door opens and he looks up, expecting to see the nurse. It's not.
As tired as Sebastian looks, Kurt looks worse. He'd been the one who'd gotten the call, Blaine's number one emergency contact as his legal husband. He's insisted on taking his work and doing it in Blaine's hospital room and he's sleeping even less than Sebastian is. It doesn't surprise Sebastian in that case that Kurt doesn't even notice the way that Blaine is nearly curled up on the bed, sheets pulled up to his chin. Instead, Kurt comes towards Sebastian, holding a plastic container of food, which he moves to hands to Sebastian, along with a soft kiss that just grazes Sebastian's lips, landing mostly on his cheek. "Dad and Carole went home to-"
"Kurt?"
Kurt jumps, the container slipping out of his fingers and Sebastian scrambles to catch it as Kurt twirls on his heel to look at Blaine. Blaine had let the sheet drop when he saw Kurt but now he's got tears in his eyes, looking between the two of them in a way that Sebastian thinks is betrayed. "Blaine! You're-"
"What the hell is going on? I'm out for what? 24 hours and you two are… Kurt, you're… I don't understand what the hell is going on. How could you?" There are definite tears in Blaine's eyes, threatening to spill over now as he looks at Kurt, resolutely ignoring Sebastian.
Glancing over at Sebastian, Kurt sees that Sebastian is just as confused as he is, not sure what in the world that Blaine is talking about. How could he what? He'd just brought Sebastian lunch… Was it because he was out of the room when Blaine woke up? He hadn't wanted to be but it doesn't seem like something that Blaine would be bothered over. "What do you mean? And B, you've been out a lot longer than that. Going on four weeks now."
Blaine's eyes widen, causing the tears to stream down his cheeks and he seems to be momentarily distracted from whatever he's talking about. "Four weeks?" Kurt and Sebastian both nod and that seems to send Blaine back into his previous mindframe. Sebastian wonders what in the world is taking the nurse so long. "And four weeks is long enough to cheat on me? Are you with him now? After what he did to me? After that slushie? What was even in it? How was that able to keep me in the hospital for four weeks? I don't understand! How could you, Kurt?"
"Blaine, what are you talking about? What slushie? And we've been together for-" Kurt cuts himself off, his own eyes widening and Sebastian feels something coming together, making him feel sick. "Oh… Oh, B… Honey, do you remember why you're in the hospital?"
Blaine's eyes narrow, looking angrily between them. "Because Sebastian threw that slushie in my face. I just don't understand why I've been out for four weeks."
Neither one of them know how to respond. Neither one of them know what to say in response to Blaine thinking that he's ten years in the past. It's been so long since the slushie incident, a source of jokes for the most part, along with Blaine's cheating. Only brought up in anger during the worst kind of fights and always apologized for profusely.
They're saved from trying to respond by the sound of the nurse bustling in with a clipboard in hand. "Ah, Blaine. I'm Jess, I'll be your nurse for the next few hours. We're glad that you're awake. How are you feeling?" she asks and Kurt recognizes her as the evening shift nurse named Jess, short for Jessica. He's gotten to know the nurses pretty damn well in the time that they've been in the hospital. He knows most of the nurses at this point. He's glad that it's Jess. She's the nicest.
"Not so great," Blaine snaps, crossing his arms over his chest and glaring at Kurt and Sebastian. It makes both of his lovers feel a spark of pride in him, the fire in him, even though they hate that it's directed at them.
The nurse glances between them, obviously silently asking Kurt and Sebastian what is going on, surprised by Blaine's tone. All she's heard lately is how sweet Blaine is, how they can't wait for him to wake up and she can see that something is wrong. The tension is thick enough to cut with a knife. "May I ask what's wrong?"
"He doesn't… remember," Sebastian says and he sounds choked. All three of them glance at Sebastian, Blaine with curiosity and Kurt with sympathy as he walks forward, resting his hand on Sebastian's back which just seems to frustrate Blaine.
Understanding dawns in her eyes and she's all business then as she checks the machines that Blaine is hooked up to. "Alright, Blaine, I'm just going to ask you a few questions if that's okay?"
Blaine huffs out a breath. "Is that really necessary?" he asks and he shifts uncomfortably under the blankets. When Kurt moves forward to adjust the blankets, though, he's stopped by an icy glare.
Kurt hesitates a moment, unsure what to do but he steps forward, reaching out for Blaine's hand and thankful when Blaine doesn't pull away. "Please trust me, Blaine. Trust how much I love you. Trust that we love each other."
"I… alright," Blaine breathes and Kurt can feel the hold on his hand tightening as the nurse turns to him.
"What's your full name?"
Blaine looks between them all, his gaze lingering on Sebastian, obviously uncomfortable and Sebastian gives a little jolt. "I'm going to go… eat something," Sebastian murmurs and Kurt can feel the pain in his voice at having to leave like this.
The unfortunate thing for Kurt is that he has to choose between them. He wants to go and comfort Sebastian and remind him of how much that both he and Blaine love him but he can't right then. Blaine needs him more and he knows that Sebastian understands that even if it hurts. Sebastian gives Kurt a small smile, bypassing Blaine's eyes as he leaves.
"Blaine Devon Anderson," Blaine responds when Sebastian has firmly closed the door behind him, looking up at Kurt. Kurt keeps his eyes locked on Blaine's, not letting himself look away, knowing that Blaine could use the support right now. He wonders how Blaine doesn't see the differences, doesn't see how much older they all look but he figures that they probably look even older than they are. They're exhausted.
The nurse gives a little nod. "And your full legal name?"
Kurt glances up, surprised by that but it makes sense. He and Blaine both changed their legal last names to Anderson-Hummel when they married. Of course, they had stopped using them once they'd committed themselves to Sebastian but just as the thought of getting a divorce had been heartbreaking so had changing their last names. So now they simply use their respective last names in their day to day life and the two of them use Anderson-Hummel for legal documents.
Blaine has a touch of annoyance as he answers, the kind that Kurt is sure that nobody else would even notice. "Blaine Devon Anderson."
"Your age and date?"
"I'm 17 and the date is… Well, four weeks after… February… late February, 2012. I was asleep during my birthday? Did you at least bring me a present?" Blaine asks playfully, turning to Kurt. The smile dies on Blaine's face as he sees the look on Kurt's. "What?"
Jess clears her throat, drawing Blaine's attention back to her face and he can see the tension where there had been a smile. "No need to panic, you two. It seems that you've lost a bit of time, also known as amnesia. It's not entirely uncommon, especially after a head injury like you sustained. There's a chance that it's temporary although we'll probably want to run some tests. The date right now is actually August 17, 2022." There's a beeping and Jess glances over to the computer. "I've got to run to the front desk. I'm going to try to grab a doctor so that we can run some tests. Blaine, Kurt can either catch you up or I can do that when the doctor is ready. You can press the nurse call button if you need anything."
She waits a moment to see whether there are any objections especially from Blaine before she heads out and Kurt glances at Blaine. Blaine's eyes are wide, terrified and he looks so young that Kurt feels his heart break for him. "Do you want to talk?" Kurt asks softly.
"I don't… I'm not- This is-" Blaine trails off, waving his hand slightly as if he honestly can't think of the words and it's not like Kurt can really blame him. He can't imagine how he'd react if he woke up thinking he was ten years in the future. Although, to be honest, he imagines that his ten years in the future looks much like it does now. Blaine and Sebastian in his life, a top fashion designer worn by celebrities to award shows and red carpets… But if he woke up thinking he was a teenager, that would be different.
Kurt nods, reaches out to grab Blaine's hand and tangling their fingers, seeing the way that Blaine stares at the ring that they all three wear on their left hands. Kurt's and Sebastian's haven't left their hands although Blaine's ring is in Kurt's pocket. "Do you have any questions right now? I can't imagine how hard this is for you. Blaine, but I need you to know that I'm here."
"Are we married?"
"Legally yes," Kurt responds, bringing Blaine's hand up to his lips, pressing a kiss to the knuckle that the ring is normally resting snug against. Blaine's brows furrow, a bit of worry showing on his face and, realizing how that sounds, Kurt quickly clarifies. "I mean, not that we're on the verge of getting a divorce or anything. Just that… This is going to be really difficult, Blaine. Why don't we start with something easier?"
Still staring at the ring, Blaine looks puzzled, thumb sliding across the shapes that are on the outside. Three puzzle pieces and a triangle. Kurt designed it himself and he's always been proud of it. "I don't understand."
Kurt bites his lip and he'd like to just drop the conversation but he has a feeling that it won't be that easy. But, their relationship has never really been easy so why should it be now? "I'm going to grab Sebastian. He should be here for this conversation and I'm sure he's dying to know that you're okay."
There's openness, honesty, desperation a bit but that guardedness that Kurt hasn't seen in years on Blaine's face as Blaine looks up at Kurt. As if Blaine expects for Kurt to be angry at him for just his very thoughts and Kurt tries to remember exactly what Blaine had been like during those years. Insecure, unsure. Kurt had been preparing for NYADA and Blaine had been preparing to be left behind, replaced, Chandler, Eli. It makes Kurt's head hurt and he is almost thankful when their conversation is interrupted by the doctor coming in.
"Good morning, Blaine. It's good to see you awake. If you don't mind then we're just going to take you to run a few tests. We've already ensured that physically you're recovering. You might have some side effects, migraines, dizziness, for a while but you won't have any lasting consequences. But, we'd like to make sure we didn't miss anything because of the amnesia."
Kurt wishes that Blaine had woken up another time. Doctor Varnes is a nice enough man but he's brusque and Kurt swears that he's been throwing eyes at Sebastian the entire time they've been there. Besides the fact that his coat is always hopelessly wrinkled and while he knows that's Kurt just being picky he figures that he's allowed to be. When there's silence, Kurt glances over at Blaine, realizing that his husband is looking at him for an answer and oh. "That's fine. You can answer him, you know," Kurt says with a teasing smile. Blaine shrugs in response.
Their hands stay together until they physically can't anymore and Kurt stands at the hallway, watching as they wheel Blaine away. Even though Blaine is awake, he's okay it's hard to actually let him out of Kurt's sight. He needs to be sure that he's okay. When he's gone past a set of double doors that Kurt can't follow, he sighs, turns and heads towards the waiting room. Now Sebastian needs him.
By the time that Blaine is done with the tests Cooper and Kurt's parents are all back in the waiting room. They've discussed things as much as they can considering that Kurt is the only one who really knew Blaine at that time although he figures that Sebastian was a close second considering their not so family friendly texts. Even Cooper isn't close to Blaine at that point.
Kurt had felt a massive amount of guilt when he'd thought about the fact that Blaine hadn't really had friends at that time. Sure, he'd had the New Directions and he'd kept in touch with some of the Warblers but he hadn't been close to anybody. He has a wide range of friends now but then? Kurt feels horrible for how isolated Blaine had been.
They all exchange looks when the doctor says that they can go back in and it's without question that it'll be Kurt and Sebastian. They have things to explain to Blaine and they're closest to him, not only now but then as well. Even if Sebastian had thrown the slushie in Blaine's face, he's still probably the best friend that he has besides Kurt.
Blaine looks a bit more relaxed when Kurt and Sebastian come in. Sebastian goes to sit next to the bed and Kurt goes to join Blaine, remembering when Blaine had actually been in the hospital after the slushie incident. Kurt had been terrified, unwilling to leave the room until his father had forced him to go to school. Most of his time had been spent on the bed with Blaine, holding Blaine close and promising him that everything was going to be okay.
He does the same now, pulling Blaine close and stroking the curls that he normally leaves free of the gel now, just a bit of product to flatten them although they're wild from so many days in the hospital.
Blaine opens his mouth but Kurt beats him to it, the words carefully prepared and worked through with the five of them in the waiting room. "Before we start, we all promise that we'll be honest with you. We won't lie to you. The doctor said that we know you best, that we can figure out what to say. If anything is too much, we'll ask to move onto the next question. But in return for our honesty, we ask that you keep an open mind. It's been ten years, honey. A lot has changed."
"Alright. I… I can try. Where are my parents? Are they here?"
"No," Sebastian says softly in response, smiling as nicely as he can when Blaine turns to him and it's hard for Sebastian. Kurt can see it on his face, how hard that it is to watch Blaine and Kurt and to not be a part of it. "Cooper's out there and your parents have been on call but they haven't been able to get here."
Although it seems to be the answer that Blaine was expecting it doesn't stop the way that his eyes dim, the way that he curls just a bit in Kurt's arms. "Cooper's here, though?" There's a bit of hope in Blaine's voice and Kurt nods.
"He is. You two are pretty close now. We spent our honeymoon in California, actually. He took us to Disneyland and showed us around and we spent a lot of the time on the beach," Kurt murmurs, recalling other trips to California with the three of them and although he'll never forget his honeymoon, the ones with the three of them are better memories. Life isn't the same without Sebastian.
Blaine nods, seeming to think that through and he bites his lip, tracing patterns on the pattern-less hospital blanket. "Okay. And why is Sebastian here? I understand that maybe after ten years he's been forgiven and is a friend but I still don't understand why it's so important that he's here over my brother."
This one is harder to answer and they'd thought a while about what to say. Neither Kurt nor Sebastian are okay with letting Blaine think that Sebastian is just a friend. But neither of them are sure how to explain what Sebastian is to them. Kurt had talked about how Blaine had felt like he was getting replaced at that time and they all knew about the cheating incident. Kurt doesn't want to say that he loves Blaine more because he could honestly never choose between them… but he doesn't want Blaine to think that he loves him any less either.
Kurt pulls Blaine's ring out of his pocket, handing it out. Blaine looks at it curiously and Kurt nods so that Blaine will actually take it. "This one is yours. Look at the engraving," Kurt says softly.
For a moment Blaine looks between them, obviously confused but then he looks at the inside. "S, B, K," Blaine whispers. He whispers it twice more before the color drains from his face and he drops the ring. "No."
"Let us-"
Blaine shakes his head, interrupting Kurt and Kurt can hear the machine give a beep, indicating that Blaine's heart is racing, that he's not taking the news even remotely okay. "No. No, you… no. We're…"
Although Kurt had thought that the reaction might be this he'd hoped for something better. They all know how much Blaine had wanted Sebastian back then. He'd been devoted to Kurt, he'd never cheat on him with Sebastian like that but he'd been in love with Sebastian nearly from the minute he'd seen him. "Blaine, honey, shh," Kurt says quickly, sparing Sebastian a glance. Sebastian is staring stoically ahead, hands clasped in his lap although Kurt can see the way that he's touching his ring with his thumb.
"No. I'm not- I didn't…"
"Stop, Blaine," Sebastian says firmly and he looks over at Blaine, shocking Blaine into silence. Kurt's a bit surprised by it as well, having warned Sebastian to try to let him handle it. "Why is it such a big deal? What're you freaking out about? It's not a state secret anymore about how attracted that you were to me and me and Kurt managed to fall in love too so why are you panicking?"
Blaine bites his lip, obviously reluctant to talk to Sebastian and Kurt runs his fingers lightly through his hair. Kurt's touch is calming, though, Kurt can feel the way that Blaine relaxes and Blaine speaks slowly. "I don't… I'm not- I don't love you," Blaine says, directed at Sebastian.
A spark of pain appears in Sebastian's eyes and Kurt can see the hurt that Sebastian is carefully hiding. He's matured so much in the past decade, grown into a man that Kurt and Blaine are proud to love. And yes, he made mistakes as a teenager and he yells and he hurts them but they all fight. They're all happy with things the way that they are now and Kurt knows that Sebastian is a better man than he was a teenager.
"I know it's hard to… understand. I can't imagine waking up as a teenager and somebody telling me that I'm in love with Sebastian," Kurt starts with a laugh and a gentle look in Sebastian's direction, thankful when he gives him a genuine smile back. "But things are different now. Why don't we- Why don't you ask something else?"
Blaine considers for a moment but he nods and Kurt figures that he's had enough of that too. "So where are we? What do I do? When did we get married? Who proposed?"
Laughing, Kurt holds up a hand and Blaine flushes a bit because now that he has one question out suddenly he's more curious about everything. Kurt and Sebastian take turns explaining things and the more that Sebastian speaks the calmer that Blaine seems to get. They live in New York City, in an apartment that they own although they've been looking into getting a home somewhere outside the city. Kurt is a fashion designer, Sebastian a lawyer and Blaine's on Broadway.
Kurt explains about their marriage, about the way that Blaine had proposed at Dalton, the wedding they'd planned just a few short years later. Sebastian chimes in when it comes to their history, the way that he'd moved in after a fight with his father. They glossed over most of the details, about how Kurt had fucked Blaine in front of Sebastian after a few too many drinks, about how Sebastian had slept in their bed that night and had never left.
Blaine stays silent for the most part, letting the two of them tell the story and he even smiles slightly at the way that Kurt and Sebastian talk over each other, correct each other and laugh with each other. It would be sweet if it wasn't so hard for him to take in right then.
After telling their love story, they go on to other things. Blaine's surprised to find out that he and Sam are best friends and they tell him about Tina's hilarious crush on him. They don't mention Blaine cheating at the moment but Kurt tells Blaine about Finn and hands him a tissue, although he himself has no tears left to shed at the moment.
After a while, Blaine's eyelids start to droop and Sebastian stretches a bit. "Well, I'm sure that Cooper wants to come in and see you. And Burt and Carole? If you're interested?"
"They're here? Why?"
Kurt laughs softly, pressing a kiss to Blaine's head and standing up to stretch, groaning at the way that his body cracks. "They came to see you, silly. They've been here for weeks. They're like your parents. Yours and Sebastian's both."
When the two leave for the evening, convinced to go home and get some actual sleep because they look like death according to Blaine, Kurt gives Blaine a soft kiss on the lips and Blaine accepts a forehead kiss from Sebastian. It's not much but it's a start and they'll take it.
Blaine looks around the apartment that they share, fingers sliding across picture frames and knick knacks on surfaces. It's not what he had expected. It's neat and organized and airy. It's huge too. Sebastian had laughed when Blaine had said that, asking what Blaine had expected from three men working full time at high-paying careers, two of whom with trust funds.
He hates that he doesn't remember. He hates that he looks at pictures of the three of them, or two of them and he can't remember. It's… honestly weird is the only way to describe it. The last thing he remembers is jumping in front of a slushie that was meant for Kurt, thrown by Sebastian. And now apparently they're all living together and committed to one another.
Blaine can't deny that he had a crush on Sebastian. From the minute that he saw him, saw the spark in Sebastian's eyes. But it had been mostly lust. It had been a friendship formed by a Warblers bond and an attraction that burned between them. But for Sebastian to try to slushie Kurt? With whatever was in it? Blaine realized that he still hadn't asked what it was. But he isn't sure how he feels about that, about being with Sebastian now.
"That's your guys' wedding," Sebastian says, coming up behind him and Blaine jumps, having not noticed that he was there. He tenses when Sebastian rests a hand on his arm but he doesn't move away. It's not like Sebastian's never touched him, resting his hand on Blaine's as they sit and drink coffee or rubbing their ankles together under the table or… "It was beautiful, of course. You two are sickening."
The words make Blaine frown, his thumb sliding along the frame and he doesn't understand. Kurt looks so happy in their wedding picture, Blaine does too. So why is Sebastian there? What was their relationship lacking that made them want to bring Sebastian in?
"Were you there?"
Sebastian nods and makes a sound that Blaine can't read. He wonders if he would've known what it was before the accident. "Yeah. Was there when you proposed to him too. Another sickeningly sweet display."
Although they'd started to explain it, Blaine's still unsure about all of it. He'd proposed on the staircase at Dalton. They'd glossed over some details, talked about how Kurt hadn't been sure of his answer but then had told him they didn't feel comfortable answering why. Was there relationship not good enough then either?
"Don't listen to Sebastian. He's just jealous that you weren't serenading and pulling four show choirs together for him," Kurt said teasingly, coming up behind them and wrapping his arm around Sebastian's waist, cuddling in close.
Blaine looks at the two of them, the way that they look so good together, so natural. Sebastian's arm rests on Kurt's shoulder and it's as if he doesn't even have to think about it. The two just know each other. Blaine and Kurt aren't like that. Not really. "Are the three of us…?" Blaine isn't sure how to phrase it but Kurt smiles knowingly and shakes his head.
"No. Still illegal, unfortunately. We have the rings but they're just for us," Kurt responds and Blaine thinks of his ring. He'd given it back to Kurt, uncomfortable wearing it and he shifts again, turning back to the picture. He doesn't understand.
The silence stretches, both of them obviously waiting for Blaine but he doesn't know what to say. What is there to say? The doctor had talked to him a bit, told him that they could set him up with a counselor if he felt like he wanted to talk to somebody and he'd had a bit of a talk with Kurt and Sebastian. He knows that it must be difficult for them too. But that doesn't make it easier for him. They at least know who they are. Blaine doesn't even know what he is doing in his everyday life, besides being on Broadway.
He doesn't know what his brother does, or his husband or his… boyfriend. He doesn't know when they go to sleep or what color his toothbrush is. He doesn't know what side of the bed is his or even whether he still likes his coffee the same way. He's not aware of the way that his breathing has hitched, the sign of a panic attack quickly coming until Kurt's grabbing his wrists, pulling his hands away from his face (when did he even cover his face?).
"Baby, I need you to breathe for me. Take a breath and calm down. I'm right here. It's okay, Blaine. Take a breath for me."
Kurt's voice normally soothes him. He has panic attacks less regularly now that he has Kurt but they still come pretty often. He still has moments where he wakes up screaming from nightmares about being held down and beaten at the Sadie Hawkins dance or being screamed at by his father. This time it doesn't help. This time Kurt is part of the problem and it's going to make Blaine sick.
When Kurt realizes that he's not helping, that Blaine's just gasping for breath harder now, Kurt moves back. "Honey, it's okay," he whispers.
But it's not okay. It's not okay. "Which is… my- my bedroom? I want to lay down. Can I lay down?" Blaine chokes out.
"The door at the end of the hallway. It's the room we all share," Sebastian responds softly.
Blaine doesn't particularly like that. He doesn't want to go into the room that they all share but it's better than nothing. He looks at the two of them for a moment before nodding jerkily and stumbling down the hallway. Neither one follows him and he locks the door, nearly collapsing on the bed. He presses his face in the pillow. He knows that he shouldn't be tired, not after being in a coma for so long but he doesn't care. He closes his eyes and maybe when he wakes up things will be normal again.
They've locked themselves out of their bedroom enough that they could pick the lock easily if they wanted to. Kurt has a hairpin that he keeps next to the door for that specific purpose. But they don't because they know that right now Blaine needs to be alone. Kurt can't help the spark of hurt that he feels over the fact that he couldn't comfort Blaine but he lets it go.
That night, they knock and Blaine opens the door so they can grab their things that they need out of there and the two sleep in the guest room. They wish Blaine goodnight and Blaine accepts a kiss on the cheek from Kurt but flinches away when Sebastian gets close to him. It hurts but none of them remark on it.
The next morning, Kurt makes coffee and he and Sebastian avoid each other's eyes. They both feel as if they're failing at this. They don't know what to say to Blaine, to each other. There's no manual on this and while the doctors were helpful, they can't help but feel like they're not doing enough. There should be something else that they can do for him.
"Good morning," Blaine says, somewhat timidly as he enters the kitchen and they both turn to look at him, both of them surprised that he's really standing there. He's got a small smile on his lips although it's obviously nervous, shaking but they both appreciate the effort. His pajama pants are worn low on his hips and he's wearing a t-shirt that Kurt thinks actually belongs to Sebastian but he's really not going to say that.
They both respond good morning back and Kurt pours Blaine a cup of coffee, stirring it and handing it over. "How'd you sleep?" Sebastian asks.
Blaine takes a sip of his coffee before turning to Sebastian, obviously intending on answering but before he can, he lets out a slightly disgusted noise. "What's in this?"
"Um, coffee and the mint creamer that you like?" Kurt says, making it a question since it doesn't seem like Blaine likes it.
Blaine's eyes dim and Kurt and Sebastian exchange a glance before Sebastian's lips part. "Oh. You didn't even use creamer when we were teenagers did you? Black coffee for you?"
A blush forms on Blaine's cheeks. "I'm sorry. I can drink it?"
"If you want? I mean, you like it now. Otherwise I can get you another cup. But you don't have to apologize," Kurt says softly, watching as Blaine takes another sip and waves him away.
"It's fine. I'll just drink this. It's not… I mean, it's not horrible or anything." Blaine sips it slowly as he looks at the two of them. It's quiet in a way that it's never been with them before. It's not comfortable. "So what do you two do? You told me a bit but… what do you do?"
Sebastian opens his mouth so Kurt lets him answer first, grabbing his own cup of coffee and piece of toast to get him through until lunch and he goes to sit down across from the two of them. "I'm a lawyer. Technically a Civil Rights attorney. I was originally planning on Criminal Defense since that's where the big names are but you two told me I wasn't allowed in bed if I spent my day defending and I quote rapists and murderers and child molesters all day."
"And I stand by that," Kurt mumbles around his coffee mug, smiling as Blaine looked over his way.
Sebastian rolls his eyes, obviously not willing to get into it again. "Right now I'm working on a case that has to do with a lesbian couple and their marriage license that the court is trying to say isn't valid."
"Oh. Oh wow," Blaine says softly and there's so much surprise in his voice that both of them turn towards him. He flushes, waving his hand dismissively and they both have a pretty good idea of what's on Blaine's mind. Sebastian's expression turns sour at the idea that his boyfriend doesn't think that he'd do something like that and Kurt clears his throat.
"I'm a fashion designer. I do mainly men's fashion although I've been known to dabble in women's fashion. My works have been worn by the likes of Vara Jones, Benjamin Denver…" Seeing the blank look on Blaine's face, Kurt frowns and wracks his mind. "Um, Orlando Bloom wore one of my suits and uh… Matthew McConaughey."
"Oh, I know them."
Grinning, Kurt takes another sip, meeting Sebastian's eyes and he hadn't realized how hard that this would be. Even a simple conversation about their jobs is turning into this. "Um, I designed the suits we wore to our wedding. The pictures you were looking at. I designed those."
Blaine nods although he doesn't get up to go look at them again like Kurt had expected him to. Instead, he shifts a bit, purposefully looking down at his coffee and Kurt and Sebastian brace themselves for something that they probably won't want to hear. "You two have taken quite a few days off right?"
"We're pretty high up our separate food chains. We both have plenty of assistants who picked up our slack. Don't worry. We'd much rather have been at the hospital with you," Sebastian says in a reassuring tone although Blaine stiffens in response.
Kurt knows that's not what Blaine is getting at, though. "Blaine, we're not going to leave you here alone. You don't know your way around the city or any of our phone numbers or our address…"
"Can't you put it all in my cell phone? I promise I won't leave the apartment even though that makes me feel like a child. I just… I need some time to think. Kurt, please."
Lips pursed, Sebastian sits back to let the two argue over it but Kurt isn't in the mood to argue. He doesn't want to press this any further and maybe they all need a day to themselves. Besides, he and Sebastian are incredibly behind and even though they have assistants, they do both need to work. He glances over at Sebastian, seeing Sebastian give a tiny shrug and so he nods. "Promise you won't leave the apartment."
Blaine's face brightens so much that neither Sebastian nor Kurt can regret the choice to let him stay. "I promise."
Blaine looks up at the knock on the door, then back down at the photo album that he's glancing at and then back at the door. He'd promised to stay in the apartment, had accepted the piece of paper with about 15 emergency contacts on it along with strict instructions on everything from the microwave (wow, technology has advanced) to the television. He'd been told he had free reign although he probably didn't want to dig too deep in the bedroom and Blaine had blushed. With a kiss from Kurt and a strained smile from Sebastian, Blaine had been left alone.
"It's me!"
Recognizing that voice, although he's not positive that he really wants to hear it, Blaine jumps up, immediately going to answer the door. As soon as it's open he's practically tackled and he has to brace himself. He'd spent a while in the shower the previous night, examining his body. It's… different. A lot different in odd ways.
He's more muscled than he ever was in high school but at the same time he has a bit of stomach that he'd have probably cried over in school. And a small tattoo of the letters 'K' and 'S' on his hip. After his shower, he hadn't been able to look at himself in the mirror, choosing to use some product on his hair without looking. He'd been surprised that he hadn't had any gel but he'd made do.
"Cooper? What are you doing here?"
"Well I didn't get to see you very long at the hospital. Our dear Sebastian told me all the details and he told me that I should give you some time to get adjusted to things but I said fuck that. My baby brother needs me!" Cooper says, seemingly all in one breath as he pushes past Blaine into the house. Blaine's eyes are wide, just staring as Cooper goes to flop down on the couch, looking up at Blaine. "Aren't you going to sit down?"
Blaine shakes himself, clearing his throat and he nods. "Uh. Yeah. Of course," he mumbles, sitting down on the far end of the couch and observing his brother.
When he'd looked at Kurt and Sebastian, really looked at them for a while, he'd been surprised that he hadn't noticed the differences before. He supposes that it was him being frantic but they both look older. Lines around their eyes, different hair styles. They'd looked tired of course but it was the little things that had made them look older.
Cooper looks older too. Blaine thinks and he nearly does a double take when he realizes that Cooper's nearing the age of 40. He himself is nearly 30 although he has tried not to dwell on that too much. It hadn't been easy to avoid it when he'd been lying in bed the previous night but he's trying. "So how are you, baby bro? I talked to Kurt today and he said you weren't really doing well."
"Can you blame me?" Blaine asks, a touch more defensiveness in his voice than he'd originally intended but how can he not be defensive? They can't really just expect him to be okay with this. Not after what had happened. Not after feeling what he'd felt, about the fact that Sebastian was willing to slushie Kurt like that. Sebastian had tried to hurt them, physically. Blaine had never thought Sebastian could do that.
Cooper shakes his head, looking somewhat confused. "No. Of course not. Nobody's blaming you. It's to be expected. Kurt's just concerned about you. They both are."
"So they sent you here like I'm a wayward child?" Blaine hates how pouty that he sounds and he quickly uncrosses his arms when he realizes that he had crossed them.
Laughing, Cooper moves closer so that he can throw an arm over Blaine's shoulders, shaking his head. "Nah. They'd kill me if they knew I was here. Remember? Seb told me that I should give you space. But you're my baby brother so I came to talk to you."
Blaine considers that. He's still uncomfortable even though Sebastian had told him that he was closer to his brother now. But then, he's Blaine's brother and he knows them well. Carole and Burt had offered to talk to him but in the end they're Kurt's parents. So maybe Blaine should talk to Cooper.
"Come on. I see that mind working. I don't remember what things were like whatever age you think you are but now, we're really close. I was going to be your best man when you got married except you decided Sam would be although then in the end, it ended up being Sebastian anyway but…" Cooper shakes his head. "Sorry. I'm getting off topic. What I'm trying to say is that you can tell me anything."
Letting out a slow breath, Blaine thinks about what's most important. "Well… Okay. So me and Sebastian and Kurt are… we're really together?"
Cooper nods. "Yeah. Nobody knows why, though. You three seem so incompatible. Sebastian was such an asshole when you guys were teenagers. Actually, he still is. It's funny, really. He and Kurt get along really well. They have these Wednesday coffee dates while you're at rehearsal every week. And sometimes they'll just take these trips by themselves and nobody understands why you're totally okay with it."
By the end of Cooper's words, Blaine's lips are parted and he's staring at his brother. He doesn't even know what to say in response to that. Sebastian and Kurt have dates by themselves? They go out just the two of them? They go on vacation without Blaine? But Blaine doesn't understand. They both talked about how good that their relationship is but it doesn't sound like its good. Blaine can't say anything, though. He can't bring that up to Kurt and Sebastian. He doesn't know how to ask what he's lacking that makes them want each other. Just like he doesn't know how to say something about it to Cooper.
"Oh," he mumbles instead, trying not to let it seem like that bothers him. But it does. It really, really does. "So, did you make it in Hollywood?"
Just like Blaine had expected, Cooper brightens and he immediately nods, grabbing the remote and going on about his latest movie. Perfect. Just what Blaine needs, more time to think.
Kurt looks down at his napkin, fidgeting with it in his lap. They'd all three thought that going out to dinner was a good idea. Blaine hadn't been able to deny that he'd wanted to be able to talk to them but as soon as he had sat down, as soon as the conversation had opened he'd been unsure what to say. Should he bring up the coffee dates and vacations? But how? And what if they get mad at him? What if Kurt lied and they are on the verge of divorce and… Blaine knows that it's ridiculous but he doesn't know what to think right now.
"So, what did you do today, Blaine? Any… questions or anything?" Sebastian asks and Blaine can't get over how different that he is now. He swears that his voice is even changed. It's almost… well, softer. But it has more power in it so that can't be right.
Blaine opens his mouth, preparing to say something, anything. "No, no questions. I just… well, Cooper came over," Blaine responds softly. He can see that Sebastian and Kurt are both waiting to elaborate but what else is there for him to say? He knows that he sounds awkward, uncomfortable but he is. He's uncomfortable anyway but even moreso now that he'd heard what Cooper had said. So he closes his mouth, unable to say anything else.
There's a few moments of silence. Blaine's too unsure to look up and see what they both look like, just staring at his plate. He jerks, startled when Sebastian sets his napkin down on the table. "Can you even look at me, Blaine?"
Blaine's head snaps up, his eyes meeting Sebastian's and he's confused by the waves of emotions that he sees in them. Hurt and anger and so much else that Blaine doesn't recognize.
"Seb-" Kurt starts, his voice supposedly soothing but Sebastian ignores him.
"I'm trying, Blaine. Can't you give me some credit? I don't understand why you're freaking out about me. I can see freaking out in general. All of us are but why me? You adored me back then and I adored you and you know that if you were single we would've been together."
Blaine's face pales and he chances a glance at Kurt, hoping that he doesn't see any hurt on his face but there's none. He bites his lip, unsure as he looks back at Sebastian. "Don't say that. I was happy with Kurt."
"I'm not saying that you weren't! But you know that you were interested in me."
"You threw a slushie at Kurt! With whatever was in it. You tried to physically hurt us. That's like-"
"Felony assault. Yes, I know," Sebastian says, the first two words said in a dull voice but he sounds much more annoyed by the next ones. "I was a fucking idiot back then. I hurt you. I hurt Kurt even if I didn't manage to get that slushie on him. But you were an idiot too! I'm not the only one that made mistakes. Kurt neglected you, you cheated! But you don't remember that so it doesn't even register in your mind. And for the record, it was rock salt which causes a fucking nasty stain and I was aiming for Kurt's chest. You were just short enough that it landed on your face instead."
With those words said, Sebastian scoots his chair out, making a screech that has half the restaurant looking at them and he stalks out without another word. Blaine isn't even sure how to respond to that for a moment before he turns to Kurt with a miserable expression. "I cheated?"
Kurt smiles sadly at him, leaning in to give him a soft kiss on the cheek. "Come on, honey. Let's get home. It was… well, a big deal at the time but it's not now. You were… worried about being replaced while I was in New York and I wasn't doing a very good job of reassuring you."
"Oh." Blaine knows that he's said that quite a bit but right now it feels like the only response that he can manage.
Kurt pays the check while they sit in silence, grabbing the food that the waiter boxed up and holding his hand out to Blaine. "We're all just stressed. Sebastian's never been good with not being loved all the time."
Blaine doesn't think that he understands but he doesn't say anything, just squeezes Kurt's hand tighter as they go home.
As Blaine lays in bed he tries to convince himself that he did nothing wrong. He knows that this is a big deal and he can't be expected to keep everything perfect. But maybe he's being too harsh on Sebastian. After all, he was at Blaine's bedside when he woke up.
Blaine rolls onto his stomach, trying to get comfortable but it's obvious that the bed is much too big for one person. He'd offered the bed to Kurt and Sebastian but Sebastian had shaken his head once before holing himself in the guest room and Kurt had told him it was sweet before promising they'd talk about the cheating and such later before going to join him.
Realizing that he feels guilty and that maybe he should try to figure things out with them, Blaine stands up. He can go apologize to Sebastian and maybe they can talk things out. He's not ready to sleep with them, be in bed with them, or kiss them regularly. But they can try to at least not hate each other considering they're going to live with each other.
Blaine opens the guest bedroom door slowly, aware that it might squeak and he knows that the two might be asleep. He stops in the doorway when he hears the low moan, peeking his head around the corner and he really freezes then. He doesn't think that he could move right now if he wanted to.
Sebastian's on his hands and knees on the bed, covered almost completely by Kurt on his knees behind him. Kurt's lips are pressed to Sebastian's ear, hands covering Sebastian's on the bed and his chest pressed to Sebastian's back. It doesn't look comfortable. He and Kurt have never managed to have that kind of balance with each other but then, they haven't been having sex for that long have they? This Kurt and Sebastian have years of experience.
Swallowing hard, Blaine's able to move, wanting to move further away but really he steps forward. He can see the way that Kurt's hips are moving, see Kurt's cock as it thrusts in and out of Sebastian's very nice ass. Blaine would always have imagined Sebastian as wanting to be on top and the way that he seems to like being fucked makes Blaine's cock twitch with interest.
Kurt's obviously whispering to Sebastian, something that makes Sebastian let out a choked moan and Blaine covers his mouth to hold in his own moan. He's surprised now that he couldn't hear the obscene slap of skin, the wet sound from the lube as Kurt fucks into Sebastian. They're both grunting and moaning, obviously trying to keep quiet so that Blaine can't hear.
It's the way that Kurt is covering Sebastian that gets to him, that tugs at him. Sebastian is completely underneath Kurt, even while he's on his hands and knees, and Kurt is comforting him. Abruptly, Blaine realizes that that's the point of the sex. After what had happened, Kurt's comforting Sebastian through sex.
Blaine turns his attention back to them as he hears another sound and he bites into his palm now as he sees the way that Kurt's stroking Sebastian's cock. There's no rhythm to their movements, no finesse. It's dirty and hard and at the same time, Blaine can see that the two of them love each other, care for each other deeply. How does Blaine fit into this?
There's a low moan, louder than the others although still muted as Sebastian comes, slumping down against the bed. Kurt chuckles, thrusting into him deep a few more times before he comes himself, staying where he is, tracing shapes up Sebastian's arms.
As soon as they've both come, Blaine closes the door quietly behind himself and near runs back to the bedroom. He's forgotten all about apologizing or talking or anything like that. He's hard, near throbbing in his pajama pants after what he'd just witnessed but he doesn't dare touch himself. He doesn't think about it as he lays down, knowing that he won't be getting to sleep for a long time. It just gives him more time to dwell on Kurt and Sebastian.
The next day, Blaine doesn't leave the bedroom until he's sure that Kurt and Sebastian have already left for work. When he does, he eats breakfast and then explores some more. It's not even really that something changed last night except it kind of did. In what way, Blaine isn't sure. But he feels a bit more… open after watching Kurt fuck Sebastian. There's a bit of jealousy there too, of course, but that seemed to fade in comparison to everything else.
Blaine looks through more photo albums, tracing his fingers across smiles on all three of their lips and wondering why in the world that he couldn't remember. He would've thought that he'd never be able to forget something like his wedding to Kurt.
By the time that the day is over and Kurt and Sebastian are coming home Blaine feels like he has a bit of a better grasp on their life. He still didn't explore the bedroom, not wanting to find sex toys or pictures or whatever was in there, but he's looked through nearly everything else. They're happy. And while Blaine is confused and unsure, he does want to try. He loves Kurt with his entire heart and before the slushie he did enjoy Sebastian.
Sebastian comes through the door first, laughing over something that Kurt had said although he stops laughing when he sees the way that Blaine is sitting on the sofa, putting aside the photo album to just look at them.
"Have a good day?" Sebastian asks neutrally and Blaine takes a deep breath. He has to give them a chance. The three of them. They're happy and Sebastian does seem to be trying.
"I did," Blaine responds in his own neutral tone, accepting the kiss that Kurt comes over to place on his lips and standing up to put the photo album back on its shelf in the corner of the room.
Sebastian shrugs off his jacket and pulls off his tie, going to sit in one of the chairs facing the couch and looking anywhere but at Blaine. It's probably for the best because as soon as Blaine sits back down, he stares at Sebastian. He saw him naked last night, getting fucked, coming. It makes Blaine shiver.
"So how is your case going? With the, um, with the lesbians?"
When Blaine speaks, both Sebastian and Kurt turn to look at him oddly, making Blaine flush and shift in his seat. Yes, he hasn't exactly been the most communicative lately but he's making an effort now. Sebastian recovers first, clearing his throat. "It's going okay. There's no way that we can't win it."
Blaine finds himself oddly interested in Sebastian's words, mostly because Sebastian just seems to enjoy what he does so much. When he'd first heard, Blaine had been incredulous that Sebastian would want to help people like that but then, he knows that Sebastian really does when he speaks like he does.
It's easy for Blaine to get lost in this and when Sebastian seems to be talked out, a small smile on his lips, he turns to Kurt to ask him more about Kurt's day. It's interesting to hear and they both just look so pleased by the questions that he can't not ask them. Kurt tells him all about his day and then Blaine asks what he himself does.
That seems to be a harder question for them to answer but they manage. "I'll take you in soon so you can see what's going on. Your understudy is doing fine but maybe it'll help your memory a bit."
Blaine will do anything, try anything if it means that he can get his memory back. He completely forgets about apologizing and he doesn't want to bring up the cheating so that doesn't matter right then. He'll come back to the cheating. Maybe.
Blaine doesn't bring up the cheating again but neither do they. It picks at him, just like other things. It picks at him like the way that Kurt and Sebastian apparently do their own thing. It picks at him because Sebastian threw a slushie at Kurt, because he doesn't even know them. It just picks at him and it makes him wonder if this will really work in the long run. How could it? Blaine just doesn't belong.
Three weeks pass slowly. Each day seems to drag on for Blaine. Every day he explores a bit more, having been given even more emergency numbers and two credit cards with the pin numbers saved on his phone. One is Sebastian's birthday and one is Kurt's, easier for him to remember, the first for his own account and the second for the joint account they all share.
He spends a few days with Cooper but most days are just spent alone, going through New York, seeing if he can remember anything. Kurt takes him to see where he works and he meets his understudy, smiling at how great that the man seems to be. He accepts his number even though it's already saved in his phone apparently and promises that he'll call if he needs anything.
The three of them talk regularly but Blaine is sure that it's not as natural as normal. Kurt and Sebastian are still more open with each other than they are with Blaine. He thinks about it, sits back and watches the way that Kurt and Sebastian have these jokes with each other. If he wasn't so busy thinking about how Kurt and Sebastian are leaving him behind then he'd notice the way that they look at him expectantly for a moment, prepared for him to laugh with them, to get the joke before they remember and they frown. He only notices when they frown at him.
Blaine goes into the doctor when Kurt schedules his appointments. He talks about flashes that he sees, simple glimpses into a past that he doesn't remember. It's not important enough to even mention to Kurt and Sebastian and they don't ask, both of them thinking that it's best if they don't pressure him. Blaine just feels sick with it all.
The doctor's appointments are never any fun and this one is no exception. Blaine feels hollow, numb as he answers each question that's thrown at him, avoiding Kurt's eyes.
"Does this mean that I'm not going to remember anything?" Blaine asks quietly, sounding as if he already knows the answer, as if he's already given up. Really, he has. He doesn't think that he's going to regain his memories. At this point, he has no hope. No hope of being happy, of anything like that. He doesn't know what to do besides just keep living.
That's what he'd done when he'd been a teenager. Just take one day at a time his therapist had told him. And he had. Every day had been better though eventually. It had eventually gotten better and now it's just worse and Blaine doesn't see it ever going up. Then he'd had Dalton and eventually Kurt. Now what does he have?
The doctor looks just as uncomfortable as he always does although he does a good job of hiding it. Blaine's just extra sensitive to things like that, has always been able to tell when somebody is feeling badly. Kurt's sitting across the room, hands held in his lap as he looks at them, unable to actually look at Blaine or the doctor.
"You know that all amnesiac patients are different, Blaine. I can't tell you for sure whether you're going to regain your memories or not. At the moment, with you not remembering much of anything then we-"
"That's it then?" Blaine asks, sounding even more upset than he actually is. He's more frustrated than upset, gripping the paper underneath him on the table, making it crinkle and he feels tears fill his eyes. "I'm just not going to remember? I get to be miserable forever because I fucking was in an accident? This isn't fair! I can't be stuck like this!"
Kurt stands up, obviously moving to placate Blaine, to do something. "Honey-"
"Don't! Don't talk to me. I can't… Just please. Kurt, I'd like to talk to the doctor alone."
Kurt can only stare at Blaine for a long moment, looking rather upset but he nods. He knows better than to fight right now. It's a fight that he won't win and he doesn't want to waste his energy or lose Blaine's trust for this. "Let me know if you need me."
As Kurt closes the door, he can hear Blaine breaking down further and he's tempted to actually just slump against the door like a child. He doesn't, though. He makes his way to the waiting room, near falling into one of the chairs and pulling out his phone.
Sebastian answers on the second ring and his voice makes Kurt smile reluctantly. He sounds worried but hopeful, as if this might be the good news that he's been waiting for. Sebastian's more confident of Blaine eventually regaining his memory than anybody. Of course, Kurt acknowledges that Sebastian has more to lose. Underneath his anger, Blaine genuinely loves Kurt as he did when they were younger. He doesn't feel that way about Sebastian right now.
"Is he okay?" Sebastian asks, not bothering with a greeting. "Is he hurt? Did he remember something? What did the doctor say? Is the appointment already over?"
Even though he smiles slightly, his voice is shaky and he feels like he's going to cry when he answers him. "The doctor's saying the same as always, Seb. He's not remembering anything right now. Blaine's… Blaine's freaking out right now. He asked me to leave the room. He's miserable, Sebastian. I don't know what to do. How are we supposed to fix this?"
Sebastian lets out a breath and Kurt can practically hear the disappointment in it. He feels bad for it, wishes so badly that he could make this better. If only Blaine's memory had been just a bit less. If only Blaine hadn't remembered the slushie then this would be so much easier. They both know that Blaine adored Sebastian then. Blaine's told Sebastian often. So to have them both? Kurt's sure it would've been a dream come true for Blaine. But now he just feels so lost in it.
"Let's take him to Paris."
Kurt chuckles softly because that's often Sebastian's response whenever something happens in their lives. Spend a lot of money and they'll feel better eventually. "You know that Blaine hates the long trips like that." The last time that they'd gone somewhere was Hawaii and even that was a too long plane ride. Blaine got antsy. He went with them because he liked to be with them and for special occasions but when it was just for Kurt's work or a day or two because Sebastian was antsy then he preferred to stay at home. "And besides, we can't take any more time off of work."
That one isn't quite true because they probably can if they needed to but they both have this unspoken agreement that they are waiting for something big to happen before they take off any more days.
"I don't know. You're the one who knows him better. Knew him better when he was a teenager. I knew him then but he wasn't as open to me as he is now. Well, as he was before this," Sebastian says, his voice darkening slightly at the very end but he doesn't sound too upset which Kurt considers an accomplishment. "Let's talk to him tonight. We'll figure things out."
That's easier said than done. Kurt tries to get Blaine to say something, anything on the ride home but besides telling Kurt that he has no preference for dinner or dessert, he doesn't say anything. Kurt can see the way that Blaine's flexing his fists and so he stops by the gym before the apartment, pulling into the parking space and holding out his hand to Blaine. "Give me your wallet."
Blaine looks at Kurt suspiciously for a long moment before handing it over. "What-?"
"This is your gym membership card," Kurt says, digging through the cards for a moment before he finds the one that he's looking for and he hands it to Blaine. "Your locker is B210. Combination is 2-57-17. Everything you need should be in there and if not you can buy it at the front desk. If you need any help, ask anybody in there. They'll help you. They know you. Apartment's two blocks down. I love you. And so does Sebastian. I'll see you tonight."
Realizing what's waiting for him inside the gym, Blaine feels his eyes filling up with tears, wondering how this perfect, wonderful man can really be here with him. He leans in, pressing their lips together in a messy kiss that only lasts a moment before he pulls back. "Thank you," he whispers before hurrying to get out of the car.
It's easy to find his way around, the signs up in the gym. He finds his locker and it has everything that he needs in it. He changes into a pair of sweats that are in his locker and looks at the boxing gloves that he has. They're different than the ones that he had as a teenager and he has to stop being surprised when that happens to him.
There's a separate area where the punching bag is and Blaine lets himself go. There's no audience as he hits the bag. Just the sound as his fist connects, the squeak of the chain, the pounding in his knuckles after a while. He pays attention to the cues of his body but he can go longer now than he could as a teenager. He wonders whether he does this sort of thing often. He wonders whether he has cause to do it often.
It's only after an hour or so that he realizes that he's crying, great sobs that rush through his body and his fist misses the bag this time. He nearly falls, catching himself quickly on the bag and just slumping onto his knees. He's quiet with his sobs, not wanting to attract attention.
"I want to go home," Blaine mumbles, resting his forehead against the warm material of the bag. "I want to go home. I want to be normal. I want to be happy. This isn't fair."
There's nobody around to hear him but it makes him feel better. He knows that he should write down the name of the gym so that he can come here again. Perhaps it'll make him feel better again. Perhaps if he does this enough then he'll wake up and he'll remember everything. Or he'll wake up and this was all a horrible dream and Kurt will be in bed next to him, the alarm ringing for them to go to school.
As long as he wakes up and things are different.
Blaine gets home late, his knuckles bleeding but he shakes his head when Kurt asks if he wants any help bandaging them up. "Thank you," he says softly, looking at the way that Kurt and Sebastian are curled up under the same blanket, watching some stupid sitcom that he doesn't recognize. But he's used to that at this point. He wonders if he'd fit between them, if he's meant to fit between them and he feels a bit sick because he doesn't think so.
Quickly, he goes towards the bedroom, near slamming the door and Sebastian sighs. "We're not making much progress are we?"
Kurt just leans in to kiss Sebastian softly, resting his head on his shoulder and trying to imagine that they're making more progress than they truly are.
The next morning it's different. Blaine is different. He's near beaming when he enters the kitchen, thanks Kurt rather profusely for the blueberry pancakes that Kurt makes and listens intently as Kurt tells Blaine about Blaine's first year in New York and how he made him breakfast in bed every single Sunday for the entire year.
"I hate to be the one to break the great moment but are you feeling okay?" Sebastian asks, looking over at Blaine. The expression on his face hurts Kurt's heart, the way that he's obviously waiting for a rejection. Kurt just hopes that it's not going to come.
Blaine takes a deep breath, the smile drooping slightly before he turns to Sebastian and nodding. "I'm fine. I've just- I had a… bit of a change of heart yesterday. I did a lot of thinking. And maybe I'm not going to regain my memory but… I don't want to be miserable anymore. If this is going to be my life. If I'm not going to be able to change it then I may as well live with it."
They both stare at him for an uncomfortably long time, long enough that Blaine actually shifts before Sebastian shakes himself, speaking first. "That's good to hear."
"Thank you," Blaine says quietly, obviously still a bit unsure but he keeps the smile on his lips regardless.
Kurt reaches out, taking Blaine's hand and tangling their fingers, taking Sebastian's hand in his other. "We're going to work this out," he says, telling Blaine something that he's told him innumerable times before. He's tries to always be the voice of reason.
Blaine lets out a breath, nods but he can't be as sure as Kurt is.
Sebastian and Kurt are both obviously surprised when Blaine tells them that he wants them to join him in bed but they do. They're both fully dressed in pajamas and Blaine looks at the two of them. "I watched you," he whispers when he's in bed. He's in between them because he's smaller, they had told him, and it was easier to maneuver around him since all of them shift often in their sleep.
"What?" Kurt asks, rolling onto his side to be able to face the two of them.
Blaine clears his throat. He knows what he wants tonight. He's been thinking about it. But in the few days that he's considered it, ever since he'd boxed until he'd bled and then decided he had to take this one day at a time, he knows that this is a good idea. He wants to be closer. He wants to be involved and how can he be if he's not having sex with them? It's perhaps not the greatest idea he's ever had but he thinks that it's a good one.
"One of the first nights. I, uh, I watched… Sebastian was on his, um, hands and knees. And you were-" Blaine waves his hand a bit as if that would explain everything. He's flushing, embarrassed at the words.
Understanding dawns on Sebastian's face and he nods, chuckling. "You watched Kurt fuck me. That's what you want. You don't want cuddling. You're just horny."
That makes Blaine blush even more as he looks between the two. "You don't need to make fun of me. And I'm not- that. I just thought that we could… share intimacy."
Sebastian stares at him, obviously working hard not to laugh. Blaine decides in a moment that if Sebastian laughs he's either going to slap him or go sleep in the guest bedroom but Sebastian manages to hold himself back. "Alright. Let's share intimacy then."
Blaine's frozen as Sebastian leans in, pressing their lips together in a kiss that starts out slow but doesn't stay that way. Kurt is watching the two of them, obviously ready to jump in if there's something that Blaine doesn't want. Blaine hadn't thought about this, about kissing Sebastian, about being close to him like this. He's ashamed to admit that he'd wanted to get back into bed with Kurt but he hadn't thought about Sebastian.
"Calm down, B. It's okay. Kurt's okay with this," Sebastian assures him, caressing his cheek gently as he slides his hand slowly down Blaine's chest. Blaine hadn't bothered with a shirt since he'd known what he'd wanted to do.
"So okay. I do love the view," Kurt teases but he moves forward anyway, pressing his lips to Blaine's neck. Blaine can feel his lips, kissing and sucking, never hard enough to leave a mark. It's different than what Blaine and Kurt had done before. Kurt seems to know every single little space to touch Blaine to make him want more.
Taking in a deep breath, Blaine tries not to tense as he feels Sebastian mouthing his way down his skin, across his neck and his chest. He bypasses Blaine's nipples and Blaine wonders for a moment how he knows that Blaine doesn't like that before it hits him and he flushes. They've done this before. They've done this a lot before. Sebastian probably knows just as well as Kurt exactly what Blaine likes.
"You still okay, honey?" Kurt asks, pressing a wet kiss to Blaine's shoulder as his fingers tease the waistband of Blaine's sweats, snapping them gently against Blaine's skin in a way that makes Blaine's hips jump.
Blaine nods although he shifts back slightly. "I want to watch the two of you. Is that okay? Not that I don't want to be involved… I just…"
There's no hesitation as Sebastian kisses right where Blaine knows is a scar on his hip from the Sadie Hawkins dance. "Whatever you want," Sebastian promises and Blaine closes his eyes, lets himself push his hips up for just a moment of relief.
He leans back, though, watches as Sebastian and Kurt come forward. They're both so beautiful, the contrast of their skin as they unbutton each other's shirts, slowly pull down pajama pants and briefs. They both shoot Blaine playful looks and Blaine thinks that this isn't the first time that he's laid back and just watched the two of them.
"Grab me the lube, honey," Kurt says quietly, pointing to the nightstand as Sebastian moves onto his hands and knees. Blaine's on the side of them, a good view and he's sure that they're positioned that way on purpose.
He hands the bottle to Kurt, flushing at the fact that it's nearly gone. "Going to have to get more soon?" he asks, to be involved.
Sebastian chuckles, his head resting on his arms on the bed, his ass sticking up. "We go through a bottle of lube a week normally. Sometimes more depending on how much free time we have and what toys we play with."
They both turn to see Blaine's blush, both of them smiling as Kurt leans in to kiss him quickly. "Don't let Sebastian bother you."
"He's- he's not," Blaine responds, embarrassed as he shifts. It's the opposite, really, and he reaches down, cupping himself through his sweats.
Sebastian smirks, Kurt letting out a soft breath as he starts with two fingers. Blaine can see that they've kept up with sex, done this often because Sebastian obviously doesn't need to be stretched much. Blaine wonders if Kurt worries about hurting him like he'd worried about hurting Blaine their first time and so many times after it. It's amazing to see Kurt like this, so grown up, so confident in everything. It's hot.
"C'mere," Kurt whispers, gesturing for Blaine to come join them. Blaine swallows, watching as Sebastian lifts himself up a bit, curious. Kurt grabs Blaine's hand, tangling their fingers and guiding his hand to Kurt's cock. "Spread the lube and then guide me inside of him."
Blaine's lips part, his jaw dropping as Sebastian lets out a loud groan, his head dropping again. His back arches further and Blaine takes a moment to admire Sebastian's ass, even reaching out and, when Kurt gives a nod of permission, resting his hand for a moment before he pulls it quickly away.
"Come on, Blaine, please," Sebastian moans out, obviously completely unconcerned about things like dignity.
Blaine hopes that he can do that someday, just let go completely. Be able to be open with them, vulnerable as they have sex. He squeezes Kurt's cock gently, clearing his throat as Kurt's hips push forward and Blaine guides him into Sebastian.
When Kurt's tip is in, he tries to move back but Kurt shakes his head. "Mm-mm. Stay. Take off your sweats," Kurt tells him.
It sounds like a command, an order and Blaine blushes deeper, to the tips of his ears but he throbs. He wonders what they play in the bedroom sometimes and he quickly pulls off his sweats. Kurt's fucking into Sebastian, deep and Blaine's throat is dry as he watches.
Kurt's cock is just as… as beautiful as before, thick and flushed with blood. Sebastian takes him so easily, pushing his hips back with each thrust and making sounds that Blaine is sure are just to tease them.
"He loves it. Getting fucked. He's always been on top before but god, as soon as he got fucked the first time, he can't get enough of it," Kurt says in a tone that's almost conversational. Blaine isn't sure how Kurt is even coherent.
Blaine isn't even the one doing the fucking and he feels like he can barely breathe, barely speak. He just lets out a little squeak of agreement, gasping in surprise as Kurt wraps a hand around his dick and squeezing. "Oh, fuck, don't, Kurt, so close."
For a moment, Blaine is worried that he's going to be laughed at but Sebastian just shakes his head. "Fucking teenagers," he mumbles, making Kurt chuckle at that and Blaine lets his head fall back.
He closes his eyes, letting himself just picture it. It's easier this way, as if it's just a fantasy. Or it would be if he couldn't hear the slick slide of skin, the sound as Kurt enters Sebastian. Sebastian is still moaning, a mix of their names and curse words that Blaine's never even heard before.
Feeling movement, Blaine looks to see Sebastian reach down, start stroking himself. It's embarrassing but Blaine can't hold it in. He thrusts forward, gasping and groaning as he feels Kurt's hold tightening. He slumps, just watching the slide of Kurt's cock.
He drifts, vaguely aware and listening as Sebastian comes first, followed closely by Kurt. One of them grabs a washcloth and cleans all three of them up and then they're both curled next to him again. "If that's how you felt just watching us, imagine how you're going to feel when you're inside me," Sebastian murmurs, pressing a kiss to Blaine's jaw.
Blaine just groans, curling up and he doesn't even consider it uncomfortable when he realizes that he's pressed against Sebastian's chest.
Wednesdays quickly turn into Blaine's least favorite day of the week. They're the longest, the ones that he can't quite manage to fill up without sitting bored for a while. There's just not much for him to do. He's done all the touristy stuff in New York twice, once by himself and once with his boyfriends. He has a zoo membership and Sebastian's told him that he likes to sit and watch the animals but he wants to find things that he likes to do because he likes it, not because he's supposed to.
The worst part is that Wednesday mornings are when Sebastian and Kurt have their morning coffee that Cooper had told Blaine about. The prickling of not belonging has dulled now a bit. They all talk even when it's just about their days and Blaine knows for sure that the two of them love him. He's not ready to admit that he loves them back but he knows that they love him.
But Blaine notices things. He notices that Kurt and Sebastian are just… close. They're different than Blaine is. Their relationship is different than Blaine and Kurt's and Blaine's growing relationship with Sebastian are. They both snark at each other. They both always have witty responses and they laugh together when they react like they do.
Blaine had thought that it would go away, the feeling of jealousy gnawing at his insides but the closer he grows to them, the more that he feels like he should open up, the worse that it gets. Sometimes Blaine just wants to crawl under the covers and stay there all day. Sometimes he does.
He's trying. He truly is. He tells Sebastian about his day and kisses him good morning and goodnight. They sleep together in the bedroom now with Blaine curled up in between the two. More often than not, Blaine's pressed to Kurt's chest, nuzzling against him and feeling comforted by the familiar scent of Kurt. He's different now, firmer, more muscular and even taller than Blaine had remembered but it's still Kurt.
Just whenever he thinks that things are good, he hears another joke that Kurt and Sebastian share. Another inside joke between them. Blaine wonders over and over whether he really belongs. And over and over, he can't do anything to reassure himself that he does.
Christmas comes much too quickly to Blaine and he's only too happy to let Kurt and Sebastian make the plans, telling Blaine that they have their Christmas traditions. The Andersons are again going to be out of town and Blaine's stopped asking about them. He's pretty sure that he won't ever see them again. The Smythe's are going to be throwing a massive holiday party which Sebastian says means that they don't need to know that they're in Lima and so they head to the Hummel's home.
Seeing Burt and Carole is probably the second best thing to seeing his own parents and Blaine sinks gratefully into a parent's hold, feeling them both give him extra squeezes. Carole's made what she assures him is his favorite new recipe of hers and after he tries it, he has to agree.
Sebastian wasn't able to get away from his case until Christmas Eve so they don't have as much time as they might have otherwise. Carole feeds them all dinner and afterwards Blaine and Burt offer to do the dishes. Blaine ignores the suspicious and concerned looks from his boyfriends and stands next to him, drying as Burt washes.
"I know there's something on your mind, kid. If you want to do it in private then you should tell me now."
Blaine smiles because he likes that Burt knows. He's been close to Burt for a while and he imagines that he's only gotten closer since being with Kurt, since marrying him. "Did I cheat on Kurt?" It's not the first thing that he wanted to ask or even on the list at all but suddenly he wants to hear about it. He can ask Burt without judgment. He can't ask Kurt or Sebastian.
Burt seems surprised by the question but Blaine figures that it makes sense since he himself is surprised by it. "You haven't talked about this with Kurt and Sebastian?"
"Sebastian told me I did when he was angry at me," Blaine admits, staring at the dish that he's drying so that he doesn't have to look at Burt. "I don't want to ask them. I don't… I don't know if I want to hear it."
Burt nods and after a moment Blaine chances a glance up, unsure what he's going to find. He's surprised to find that Burt is looking at him, a pensive expression on his face. "I consider you my son, Blaine. You and Sebastian both. Both of you ended up with shitty parents and me and Carole love you and we're kind of glad because it just means that we don't have to fight other parents for holidays." Seeing that Blaine is smiling now, Burt turns a bit more serious. "I didn't always think that though, Blaine.
"I've never doubted that you and Kurt were perfect for each other. But you were never very sure of yourself as a teenager. I'm sure that you know it since that's what you remember. You didn't see it the way that everybody else did. Neither one of you were very good at talking when you were younger, not that any teenager really is.
"Kurt got caught up in his life in New York. He had a new job, a new school and a new life. He was living on his own and he barely made time to call anybody. Every time the two of you talked, it was about him. Nobody wants to feel like they're being replaced. And that's how he made you feel. You met somebody online, a guy. I never knew his name. But you went over to his place.
"As soon as you did, you were apologetic. You called me crying. I don't know if Kurt even knows that part of the story. All you could say was that you ruined everything. I told you that you had to tell Kurt. And you two broke up. It wasn't two months after you and Kurt were broken up that you were back to telling each other you love each other and talking on the phone every night. You two spent Christmas and Valentine's Day together and just a short while after that, you two got back together and you proposed.
"You two went through more than you ever should've had to but all along I knew that you two would make it because you love each other more than anything. What you did was a mistake. You were young, Blaine. You thought that you had all the answers but you didn't. You guys didn't talk to each other. But you do now. You're different.
"I was so damn proud when I saw you guys getting married, sure that this was it for you. Imagine my surprise when a little more than six months later, I get a nervous call from Kurt saying that things were different. Do you know all that I knew about Sebastian, Blaine?" Blaine considers the question for a moment before shaking his head, listening intently to Burt. "That he threw a slushie in your face when he was a teenager.
"Of course I hated him immediately. He wasn't good enough, not for either of you. I admit that me and Kurt got into a yelling match over the phone and Kurt hung up on me. That was the only Christmas that you guys didn't spend here, except your first Christmas married before you guys realized that you didn't have to make your own traditions. Instead, in January, we flew out because you two were barely speaking to me.
"When I saw Sebastian, Blaine, I was shocked. That boy is so in love with the both of you. I'm not saying it wasn't hard to get past the slushie thing. But I figured that if I forgave you for cheating and trusted you so completely with my boy's heart then I had to give Sebastian the same courtesy. The entire visit, you could tell that he was nervous. He had that 'yes, sir' 'no, sir' idea about him. And he's proven over and over how much he loves you.
"He wouldn't even leave your bedside when you were at the hospital. Neither would Kurt but that's not the point. Sebastian doesn't show that he loves you very well. He hasn't really changed but then Kurt's never shown it very well either, has he? I'm not saying that you have to forgive him. That's up to you." Burt held up a hand when Blaine opened his mouth, smiling. "It's okay. I know what it's about. But you won't be able to let yourself fall until you forgive Sebastian for that slushie."
Blaine stares at Burt, realizing abruptly that he has tears in his eyes. He wipes them away quickly, wrapping his arms around Burt for another tight hug. "Thank you," he whispers.
"Anytime, kid. And remember, this place is always your home. Whenever you need it to be."
That night, Kurt makes hot chocolate with extra whipped cream and marshmallows, bringing it over so that they can all lay underneath the Christmas tree.
It's not the most comfortable thing that Blaine's ever done but it's not the worst. Sebastian throws some pillows underneath so that they can drink at the same time and they let Blaine slide in between them, much like they do in bed.
It's warm is Blaine's first thought, cozy. Kurt's on one side, an arm underneath Blaine's neck, tangled in Sebastian's hair to give them that connection. Blaine's open, more open than he's probably ever been with them. There's not an ounce of tension in his body and he doesn't pull away from Sebastian's touch as Sebastian lays on his side, resting a hand on Blaine's stomach.
"So we do this every year?" Blaine asks softly, watching the multitude of lights on the Christmas tree. He can feel Sebastian's hand on his stomach, feel the steady weight of it with every breath that he takes. It's almost odd but at the same time sweet and so he doesn't ask him to move it.
Kurt nods, licking a bit of whipped cream off his fingers and Blaine can't help but stare, making Sebastian chuckle from behind him. "We do. Christmas Eve is always spent underneath the Christmas tree here. And Christmas Day we sometimes go to the Smythe's but mostly we just stay here. Carole and I make lunch, you three watch football. It's nice."
There's a touch of wistfulness and Blaine knows that it probably has to do with Finn.
"I talked to your dad," Blaine says quietly after a few moments. He doesn't want to ruin the mood but he feels like the two of them deserve to know that he had talked to Burt about things. There's silence, just an encouraging sound from Kurt. "About the cheating. And... the slushie thing."
"What did he say?" Sebastian asks curiously. He loves Burt like he never loved his father and he hopes that Burt had given Blaine good advice, not that he's sure what that is.
Blaine closes his eyes, reaching down to take the hand that Sebastian has resting on his stomach. He tangles their fingers, squeezing gently and turning to smile at Sebastian. "That Kurt forgave me for the cheating because I had made a mistake. That it was stupid and that I hurt him but… that I was a teenager. And that it was eventually let go of."
Slowly, Sebastian's lips turn up into a smile and Blaine can see that Sebastian knows that he's not just talking about the cheating. The slushie was a long time ago and they were teenagers. They made mistakes. Blaine squeezes Sebastian's hand again, holding on as the three cuddle and look up at the lights.
"I love you, you know," Sebastian says quietly, leaning in to kiss the corner of Blaine's lips.
Blaine smiles, closing his eyes, content in that moment. "I know," he whispers. He tells himself that someday he's going to say it back.
Going back to New York is challenging for Blaine. He didn't realize just how much he missed home until he's back. He's grumpy. He misses his parents. He misses his life. He doesn't withdraw completely from them because he knows that they don't deserve that but he's not as open as he was before.
"So, your show's opening night is coming up in a few weeks. Do you want to try to go? I know you can get tickets."
Blaine shrugs at Kurt's question, using his fork to twirl some pasta and sigh softly. "I don't care."
He doesn't look up but he can nearly sense that Sebastian and Kurt are exchanging a glance. It's what they always do. Look to each other when Blaine's acting up. As if he's a child and they're his parents. He thinks he might be sick.
"Okay, well I'll get tickets," Kurt says, keeping up his nice tone as if Blaine hadn't been grumpy at all.
"I want to go back to school," Blaine says in response, looking up and seeing the look of surprise on both of their faces. It's obviously not what they expected but Blaine's relieved at least that there's nothing on their faces that say that they won't allow it. "Maybe get my GED? I know that I already graduated and I'm pretty sure that I know everything anyway but I want to make sure that I remember it. And then… I don't know. Acting classes?"
Kurt thinks back to when Blaine was a junior. The only goal that he'd had in mind was New York, NYADA. Acting perhaps. Or singing. Whatever happened happened. In the beginning, Kurt had thought it was because Blaine just wanted to do it all and couldn't pinpoint anything. It was only after a few months that Kurt had realized that Blaine only moved to New York for him and it had been a while before they'd found where Blaine fit. If he was being honest, he was feeling that way again now. But Kurt hadn't given up then and he wouldn't this time either.
Before Kurt can respond, though, Sebastian's nodding and he has that eternally optimistic look on his face. He and Blaine are close in a way that Kurt's never been able to understand. Adoration is the only word that can be used to describe it. Sebastian adores Blaine and Blaine adores Sebastian right back.
"That would be great. You know that you can do whatever you want to do."
Any other time, Blaine wouldn't take that the wrong way. He's just tired and stressed and he turns to Sebastian. "Do anything I want. Without consequence right? Like you?"
Sebastian's face immediately darkens, looking upset and angry and Kurt's eyes widen. He's going to have to say something. He has to intervene because this is not going to be good. "What the hell is your problem, Blaine?! I have done everything for you. I have done everything that I could to make this work for all of us. I have bent over backwards for you. I've reigned in the snark, I've resisted the urge to kiss you and hug you. I've done everything. What else is there left to do? You talked about forgiveness but you're not even trying! What do you want from me? Do you want me to leave?"
Kurt knows that Blaine can't hear the terror in Sebastian's voice over the last sentence. Sebastian being told to leave was his fear for so long. Kurt and Blaine had acknowledged it, knowing that it couldn't be easy to join a relationship where it was obvious that if it didn't work then Kurt and Blaine would still have each other. But it doesn't feel that way anymore. Not now.
"No," Blaine says, continuing before Sebastian can even let out his breath in relief. His fork slams down on the table, his eyes filling with tears that make them both want to just take him in his arms and hold him and promise that this will all be okay even if it won't. "No. I'm going."
"Blaine, honey-"
Blaine shakes his head as Kurt stands up as well, looking at him and reaching up to viciously wipe away a tear. "No! No, do you two realize what you do? Why am I even part of this relationship? You two are sitting over there on your side of the table and it's not like you only do that because I'm fucked in the head right now. I've seen you guys in pictures! You two are so close. I don't know where I fit in."
The rest of Kurt's words obviously fall on deaf ears as Blaine grabs his wallet before heading out the door, making sure that it slams behind him. Kurt looks over at Sebastian, shaking his head and he covers his face in his hands, leaning into Sebastian when Sebastian wraps his arms around him. "Blaine's always been like this. He has to let me explain," Kurt whispers.
Sebastian presses a kiss to Kurt's head, just holding onto him. "He will."
By the next morning, when Kurt comes out to the living room to find that Blaine isn't there, they're both frantic. They don't know what to do, where he is. They had hoped that he'd come back but he hasn't. If it was any other time, they'd assume that he was at a friend's or at least safe but Blaine doesn't know New York like he normally does. It makes Kurt sick as he looks down at his cereal, having already called in to take the day off of work.
It terrifies him to think that this could be the end of their relationship. After everything that they've gone through, the two of them and then with Sebastian, the thought that it's all been for nothing is more than he can take. When his phone rings, he scrambles to pick it up, not even bothering to check who it is. "Hello?"
"Hey, kid."
Kurt lets out a breath when he hears his father's voice, immediately melting and shaking his head when Sebastian looks at him questioningly, silently asking if it's Blaine. "Hey, Dad. Look, I'm kind of-"
"He's here, Kurt. Blaine's here. He's sleeping right now in your guys' bedroom. He's fine."
It takes Kurt a minute to really get the words through his mind. Blaine's safe. He's okay. "Blaine's there? He's safe? He's… Dad, we need to talk to him. He has to understand."
Burt hesitates on the other end of the line, thinking about what he can say and before he even speaks, Kurt knows what it's going to be. "I don't think that's the best idea, Kurt."
"We love him."
"I know. I know that and he does too. And it's overwhelming to him. He's suddenly stuck in this world that he doesn't know and he hasn't taken the time to adjust. He hasn't even seen his parents since he woke up and that may be normal to us, it's not normal to him. He still lives with his parents in his mind. Or, he did. You need to give him some time. He's safe. I'll have him call you."
Kurt doesn't want to agree but what if it's for the best? He also doesn't want to harass Blaine or make him upset with them. He doesn't want to ruin thing. He nods, sniffing but there are no tears. "Okay. Have him call if he needs us. Let him know how much we love him."
"I will, kid. I love you. So does Carole. Tell Sebastian we love him too."
The phone call is short and disconnects only a moment later. Sebastian, having gotten the gist of the conversation from listening to Kurt, nods and heads off towards the bedroom. They both have the day off which now looks like it's going to stretch for ages. Kurt just wants Blaine to come home.
A few hours later, they both receive a text at the same time.
I love you both. I do. And I know you love me. I need some time. I'll call you when I'm ready. Please don't contact me. -B
Neither one of them mention it, neither one wanting to talk about the fact that it feels like they're missing part of their heart.
It takes two weeks. Kurt can't exaggerate and say that it's two of the longest weeks of his life because it's not. Blaine's alive after all. Kurt knows that Blaine is alive and he's okay for the most part. Burt sends both him and Sebastian texts to talk about Blaine. He's getting to know himself again. Kurt isn't sure that he really likes how that sounds but if it makes Blaine better then that's all that matters to him. At the end of the day, even if Blaine decides that he doesn't want to be in a relationship with them right now, Kurt just wants him to be happy. He just can't figure out how to make Blaine happy.
Even though it's not the longest or worst of his life, it still isn't a picnic and Kurt nearly drops his phone in his rush to open it when he finally hears the ding of Blaine's text tone.
I'm ready to talk.
Kurt stares at it until he's interrupted by a phone call. Sebastian doesn't bother with a greeting although he rarely does. "Did you get the text?"
"Yes." Kurt has to respond twice before he's sure that he actually got the words out loud enough for Sebastian to hear.
"I'm getting us plane tickets. I love you."
Before Kurt can even say anything, not that he's sure that he can, Sebastian's hung up. Kurt calls his secretary, tells them that he has an emergency and reschedule everything for a week and heads home.
Blaine asks them to meet him at the Lima Bean which makes both of his boyfriends smile when they read the texts. They get a cab to drive them, having not wanted anybody to have to drive all the way out. They're both relieved that Blaine had somewhere to go although they wish that Blaine had just come to them. They know that they can't expect everything from him.
Blaine is waiting at a table when they come in, just one coffee in front of him. The two exchange a look, thinking that this could be a bad sign but Sebastian goes to grab him and Kurt a coffee and Kurt goes to sit down across from Blaine.
"I'm sorry that you had to take more time off of work. I didn't expect you two to drop everything and fly out," Blaine says quietly, obviously unsure, his thumb tracing his coffee lid.
Kurt shakes his head, reaches out before rethinking it and resting his hand in his lap. "Don't worry. Please don't worry about that. You're more important."
Although Blaine doesn't look like he really believes that, he nods, ducks his head and silence falls on them until Sebastian comes to sit down. Kurt thanks Sebastian for his coffee as the three sit, none of them sure of what to say.
"I'm so-"
"I think-"
"Look we-"
The three of them all stop, surprised at the fact that they had all started talking at once and it seems to break the ice. Blaine has a small, shy smile on his face while Kurt and Sebastian are less shy about their affection. They're in love and they know it.
"Can I go first?" Blaine asks, receiving two nods in response and he takes a moment to think about what he has to say. "I'm sorry that I just left like that. I realize that it wasn't really fair. I just… I couldn't do it. I needed some time to myself, to think about who I am, to think about the two of you. I have something to confess. Something that Burt and Carole said that I should tell you so that you can explain to me. I talked to… to Cooper. He came over like the very first day that I was home and he was- he talked about how you two have these… things. Like you get along so well. Wednesday coffee dates and- and trips by yourselves.
But it's not just what he said either. You two do act like that. And I wondered whether it's just because of me not having my memory but you two are close. Really close. I feel like I don't compare. I guess I feel like I don't really belong."
By the end of Blaine's words, Sebastian's coffee cup is half crunched in his fist and Kurt looks like he wants to really hurt somebody. He'd thought that it had been bad enough when Cooper had made his speech at Kurt and Blaine's wedding. This is worse than anything that he's ever done before.
"Blaine," Sebastian says and Kurt's glad that he's taking the lead. He's so angry right now he can barely even think of saying a word. "You listened to your brother over us? Over Kurt? I understand that you're upset and that you can't consider listening to me but you were calling Kurt your soulmate when you were teenagers."
Blaine flushes, obviously having not expected that after Sebastian angrily crushing his cup and Kurt didn't expect it either. "But you two are-"
"Madly in love with you," Sebastian interrupts, looking at Blaine with such a look that Blaine can't pull away. Kurt watches the two, biting his lip. "Blaine, when I was a teenager, I was stupid. I was jealous of the love you guys had. I was jealous about the fact that you wouldn't give up Kurt for me. I wanted you both. You should have come to us when he told you that, Blaine. Because yes, me and Kurt do go out for coffee every single Wednesday afternoon."
Before Blaine can even frown, Sebastian is going on. "And Thursday night after what is generally your most intense rehearsal, you and I go out for coffee together. And Saturday night, you and Kurt go to dinner together. And the three of us go out dancing every Friday night. Blaine, nobody understands it. The way that we love each other. But we do."
Kurt reaches out, thankful when Blaine sets his hand into Kurt's and he slides his fingers through Blaine's. "And Blaine, you hate flying. With a passion. It's hard enough trying to get you on a plane every year for our anniversary. It's always 'let's drive here' or-"
"Let's rent a hotel and just have sex all weekend," Sebastian says with a smirk, ignoring the way that Kurt immediately nudges him.
Blaine's still flushing although he doesn't look quite as angry anymore. He does look a bit embarrassed. "I just… I look at you two and you're so happy. And I wonder when you got so happy. Because I wasn't here for it."
"Honey, you don't remember it but you were here. Every moment of it. You saw every single… look between us. And you fell in love with Sebastian and farther in love with me and we fell for you too," Kurt says. He knows that it's not easy to understand. And it's certainly not easy to explain. But he's determined to try.
Blaine nods, taking a sip of his coffee to have a moment to just think. "I want to come home. I like it here. It's… familiar and great and Kurt, your parents are… wonderful. But it's not home. It's not home the way that you two are."
They're both smiling although Sebastian is the one that speaks first. "We've been waiting for you to come home."
It's, of course, not easy. Blaine tries to get to know them but he still doesn't as well as he'd like to. But it's easier than it was. It's a few nights later when Blaine joins them in the bedroom again, shy and blushing and nervous and wanting so much.
They start slow, kissing and touching. Kurt presses against Blaine's back and Blaine can feel as Kurt gets harder, grinding against his ass and he presses back into it. Clothes are shed quickly, lube passed to Blaine first and he freezes.
"Want you inside me, Blaine. Come on. Please, B," Sebastian mutters. He's laying on his back this time, legs spread as he looks up at Blaine with wide eyes. Blaine can see it, the want in his eyes, the love, the lust. Everything. It's all there.
Blaine nods and Kurt walks him through it. Kurt hook his chin over Blaine's shoulder, pressing a kiss to his jaw. "It's okay. Start with two fingers," Kurt murmurs to him. Blaine's watched the two of them enough to know what to do, although he's still really nervous.
Sebastian is tight around his fingers and Blaine is worried that he's honestly going to come before he even enters Sebastian. He thinks about his and Kurt's first time, about Kurt coming just a few moments after he'd entered him. They'd figured things out eventually but Blaine feels like a nervous teenager again, even if he's slowly getting out of that mindset.
While Blaine's fingers are inside of Sebastian, he can feel Kurt's fingers against him. "It's going to hurt just a bit, honey. You haven't gotten fucked in a while," Kurt says and he starts with just one finger. It does sting, burn but Blaine has always liked that part of it.
It's easy to stretch Sebastian, to add another finger before Sebastian is begging for Blaine to just fuck him. "Okay, okay. Patience," Blaine says with a quiet laugh and a moan as Kurt's fingers hit a particularly nice spot inside of him.
He pulls his fingers out, waiting for Kurt to pull his own out before Kurt's hands are on his hips. "Hold on, honey," Kurt tells him and Blaine closes his eyes, letting his head move back onto Kurt's shoulder.
Sebastian watches the two of them, can see as Blaine's lips part as Kurt enters him slowly. One of Kurt's arms is around Blaine's waist, trying to keep him close even as their sweat-slick bodies try to slide. "Mm, fuck you two are so hot," Sebastian mumbles and Blaine opens his eyes to watch as Sebastian touches himself.
"Alright," Kurt says once he's fully inside.
It's different. It's not the same but fuck, it feels so right. Blaine is nervous, sure that he's going to hurt Sebastian as Kurt presses him forward. He feels so full and he just wants to lay back, to take it and let Kurt fuck him. But oh, the thought of being inside Sebastian is so amazing too.
"Try to hold off for at least a moment before you come," Sebastian tells him.
Blaine lets out a choked laugh, wanting to tell Sebastian that he can't promise anything but nothing further will come out. Instead, he just groans as he pushes in.
Sebastian's so fucking tight around him and Blaine can feel the way that his body takes him, expanding just a bit to accommodate him. He looks down to watch the slide and then immediately closes his eyes because he is going to come if he watches.
"Shh, good job, honey. There we go," Kurt whispers in Blaine's ear, kissing along the sensitive skin underneath. Blaine is sure that there is nothing better than this. He can feel Kurt's cock inside of him, pulsing and Sebastian is clenching around Blaine, obviously wanting him to move. Why didn't they do this before? "You can set the pace."
There's a moment of nerves before Blaine lets his instincts take over. He pulls nearly out before thrusting back in, working up an easy rhythm. Every time he pulls out of Sebastian, Kurt is thrusting into him. He can feel the pleasure from the top of his head to the tips of his toes.
The two of them might be saying something, moaning words but he can't understand them. His vision is blurring, his toes curling and he knows that it's much too soon but he comes, deep inside Sebastian. "Fuck, fuck," he moans, his hold on Sebastian's hips tightening until he's sure there'll be bruises.
Sebastian smiles, gripping Blaine's chin to pull him in for a quick kiss, obviously not too bothered by it. Blaine opens his eyes lazily to watch as Sebastian gets himself off and tries to work with Kurt, to let him fuck him. He's sensitive now, almost sore but at the same time, he wonders how fast that he can get hard again.
He can feel as Kurt's cock pulses, unleashing inside of him and he's pretty sure that Kurt and then Sebastian says his name as they come. Sebastian's come splatters across his chest from where he's half slumped over him and the three all have to take a few long moments to catch their breath.
"That was the best thing ever," Blaine mumbles and he's not even bothered when the two laugh.
Blaine crosses his ankles, looking at his understudy. He won't be coming back. He's already talked to the director and while the director was willing to consider it, he knows that it's best if he doesn't. Blaine won't be able to memorize his lines, won't be able to be the person that he was before. Kurt and Sebastian are sympathetic and supportive of him trying to find another role but he can't go back to this one. At the end of rehearsal, he wishes his understudy and the rest of the cast well and leaves. He won't be back.
Dinner is always switched off between the three. One night Kurt makes dinner, the next Sebastian and the next Blaine. Whenever Blaine doesn't feel like cooking, the other two will either cook for him or take him out. Generally Sebastian makes the suggestion of going out and Kurt will make an elaborate dinner but sometimes they surprise him.
It's different but it's a good different. When Blaine looks at Sebastian he doesn't see the boy who threw the slushie anymore but the man who snores, who cuddles too close, who is always the first to get up with a groan when one of them says that they need something. And Kurt is still Kurt. They're still soulmates. Blaine's never been more sure of that.
They sleep together every night, curled around each other. Blaine talks to them when he's unsure, tells them and they resume their going out together with Blaine individually. The first time that Blaine goes to a club with them, he's fairly certain that he'll die of embarrassment right there on the dance floor but he manages and the sex when they get home is the hottest ever. Until the next week they go to the club.
Blaine finds that he really does hate flying, sticking his tongue out at Sebastian as they land into Ohio and he's spent most of the take-off and landing with his head in the barf bag. It's not pleasant and he leans heavily on Kurt as they go out to get a cab.
It's a special Dalton performance. All the Alumnus are invited and while Kurt had a neat and tidy invitation, Blaine and Sebastian were both nearly begged to come. So they couldn't say no. It's interesting for Blaine to reconnect with some of the old Warblers.
Most have heard about the accident through social media or talking to them but there are some who don't. Nick looks positively offended when Blaine looks strangely at his fingers, tangled with Jeff's before Jeff leans over and whispers something in his ear.
Kurt and Sebastian stay on either side of him, both protective as always. It's sweet if somewhat suffocating. He wishes that they knew that he wouldn't break. He looks around, finding that nothing of Dalton has changed. Kurt is on a stair above him, talking on and on about the proposal and Blaine is truly fascinated by all the detail he must've put into it. Sebastian is right ahead of him, leading the way to the room on the invitation.
Blaine can feel a headache forming, right between his eyes like it has often since the accident. He stops near the bottom when he sees Sebastian reach the end and turns up to look at Kurt. His mouth opens and then he stops because it's as if he can suddenly see. He sees Sebastian at the bottom of the stairs. "Being nice sucks," Sebastian tells him. He can see proposing to Kurt. "Fearlessly and forever."
The two of them look at him and he feels as if he's underwater as they both speak. "Honey, honey are you okay?" Kurt asks frantically.
Blaine can only smile at the two of them, leaning a bit too heavily on Sebastian as he breathes in deep. "I had you choreograph so that the Teenage Dream dance was in the proposal," Blaine says to Sebastian, watching as they both gasp, looking at him. "And Kurt… you looked wonderful coming down the stairs in that blue suit that you wore."
There's two loud voices in his ear and he can't understand either of them as he's enveloped in hugs. He has no idea what caused his memory to come back, although he has a good idea what it is. This Dalton staircase has been important to all three of them.
"I love you," Blaine says quietly, looking up at Sebastian because he hasn't said it nearly often enough to the man as of late. Sebastian's eyes fill with tears as Blaine leans up to press a slow kiss to his lips before turning to Kurt. "And I love you."
They both whisper the words back at the same time and Blaine smiles. His smile brightens as Kurt pulls his ring out of his pocket, reaching out for Blaine's hand so that he can put it on where it belongs. "I thought that we'd lost you."
Blaine shakes his head, looking down at the ring back just where it belongs. "No. No matter what, I'm always destined to be with the both of you. I'll always find my way back to you eventually."
The three have to go to the concert and they will but right now the three embrace on the Dalton staircase. Wherever Sebastian and Kurt are is home, Blaine knows. And now, in their arms and finally, finally able to remember everything again, he's home.