Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters or the dialogue from the show. They belong to the CW and L.J. Smith.

AN: Since I first started watching '"The Vampire Diaries'", I was completely hooked. I love the show and how the characters have evolved during the time it has been on TV. A very distinct thing about me is that usually I can't really pick 'teams', I'm often stuck in the middle. Therefor I am both on team Stefan and team Damon. But this story is Delena, because right now I'm really wanting their friendship (or more) back so we can bring some lightness and bickering in these dark times.

This is my first published fanfiction. Wish me luck! Here it goes:

'My hands are cold my body's numb
I'm still in shock what have you done
My head is poundin, my vision's blur
Your mouth is moving, I don't hear a word'

Elena POV

"Road trips work well for us."

Damon was right behind me, following me to the door like the gentleman he actually was. Of course he said it in his typically cocky Damon-tone. He was partially right too, about the road trips. In the beginning of both I didn't really like him, but he proved me wrong. In Georgia I had saved him, because I knew he didn't deserve to have his undead life ended. Today he had saved my life. That arrow could have gone straight through his heart, but he still took it. For me. And like many times before I realized that I couldn't live without him.

"This doesn't mean that things are back to the way they used to be, Damon." I said, trying to sound convincing. I meant it too. I mean, who would easily forgive the person who "killed" your brother?

"Oh, come on. You know I chipped a little bit off of your wall of hatred." Still in the same tone, and now I saw the face that always went with it. I would have laughed, if the situation wasn't about to get serious. I had to ask him.

"I need to know the truth." I said matter-of-factly. Damon's expression changed fast. He knew what was coming. "When you broke Jeremy's neck, did you know that he was wearing the ring?"

I already knew the answer. I just needed him to tell me. Please, say yes. Lie. Please, say yes. But I already knew that he wouldn't. He never lied, not to me.

He looked down; his face looking paler than ever, if that was even possible. "No. No, I didn't."

"Katherine really pissed me off and I..I snapped and..." He looked up again. "I got lucky with the ring. I don't know what I would have done if he wasn't wearing it." I nodded my head a little, confirming my own thoughts.

"Elena." Damon's blue eyes bored into mine. "I'm sorry." His silky voice was so sincere. It was the first time I had seen him completely vulnerable. I just wanted to throw my arms around him and never let go.

"Thank you for being honest with me." He let out a sigh. Remind me again why I had to take advantage of his honesty and vulnerability? Oh, because I couldn't let us happen. I knew it would eventually, if I didn't do this. So here it comes. The final blow.

"And the answer to your question, about our friendship, is yes." I could see the hope being lit in his eyes. I had to put it out. Just as he found solid ground, I had to be the earthquake to destroy it.

"You have lost me forever." I almost cringed at my own words. I wanted to take them back as soon as they left my lips. But, I had to cut him. Wound him and make him bleed. Make him hate me. It worked. First, confusion spread across his beautiful face. Then, realization. I tried to turn around. All I had to do was to get in the house and lock the door. Then I wouldn't have to deal with it any further. No! I couldn't do that. I had to stay there. On the porch, with Damon. I had to finish it.

"But you knew that already didn't you? You used me today." He stated. Tears were threatening to form in my eyes. Yes, I did. Because I'm a horrible person.

Time to pour salt in the wound. Letting him know that I used his own tactics against him. "You had information about Katherine that I needed to know…" I said as cold as I managed.

"I thought friends don't manipulate friends." He interrupted me. Making me feel guilty for using that phrase against him. Indicating that we were friends, when we couldn't be. Because friendship didn't work with us. His flirty little comments and his 'eye-thing' made it impossible. So clearly, friendship wasn't what he really wanted. Even though I would never admit it, it wasn't what I really wanted either. I wanted to hate him. Love, hate, such a fine line. I watched his lips as they began to move.

"You and Katherine have a lot more in common than just your looks." He said. I almost backed away at his words. Even though this was what I was aiming for, making him hate me and let me go, I was still shocked. At least I had finished it, because he turned and walked away. He hated me now.

Yes, we do. I answered him in my thoughts, afraid to even whisper it. He was a vampire after all, and with his extremely good hearing I couldn't risk it. The water in my eyes reached its limit and tears began rolling down my face. I'm toying with both of you too. Because I'm in love with you.

'Marks a battle still feel raw
A million pieces of me on the floor
I'm damaged goods for all to see
Now who would ever want to be with me
I've got all the baggage drink the pills'

Damon POV

I couldn't believe this. I couldn't believe that I was even thinking this. I, Damon Salvatore, was going to step back. Leave her alone. I had only provoked her more with that Katherine comment. She wasn't going to take me back in now. Not that I wanted her to, at least not at the moment. She had tricked me. Outsmarted me. Little, innocent Elena Gilbert. Gah, she had made him soft. He needed to get his guard back up. He knew better than to let it fall. But she tore it down every time she pulled that puppy-dog-look on him. She made him soft. One of the many reasons he loved her. Right now, he hated her for it. How dare she? Fragile, little human. His thoughts were rummaging around in his head at super speed. God, he needed a drink. All that was standing in between him and his much loved collection of bourbon-bottles was the front door of the boarding house... and apparently his brother.

"Damon," Stefan said in a tone he could not really place. Not that he bothered either. "Brother," he answered in his usual I-need-a-drink-tone. He was really thirsty now so he just passed Stefan, making sure to give him a little bump in the shoulder.

"So, Elena filled me in on what you found out at Duke." Oh, what a surprise. The alcohol filled the glass so easily. "Really? I thought you two had built up a mind connection by now." I took a sip of the brown liquid. Sweet relief. Stefan clearly ignored the comment. "I got it confirmed tonight. Mason Lockwood attacked Caroline." "OMG, did Blondie get hurt?" I faked a shocked and concerned look. "No, Tyler told Mason, or the wolf, to stop and he/it did."

Interesting. I was going to have to deal with this later. A werewolf on the loose was one problem too many. He had enough to worry about with Katherine back and…Elena. No! You gotta stop thinking of her. You were going to take a step back, remember? His glass was empty and it was time for a refill. "Why don't you run along and give Elena a visit? I'm sure she's dying to see you." He said bitterly. I didn't give brother dearest time to answer, because I was already up the stairs and in my room.

I downed another glass. Then a new one. And then the next. After a while I lost count. The bed was getting more comfortable by the minute. Stefan hadn't come home yet. Either he was out running with the squirrels or she-who-must-not-be-named didn't mind sharing her bed. He counted on the latter. Two or four bottles had been emptied. Oh well, it was time to update the whiskey stock anyways. In his mind he scheduled a visit with that nice girl at the store for tomorrow. But for now, he had a date with one of the remaining bottles.

'I don't know how much more love, this heart can lose
And I'm dying, dying from these exit wounds
Wounds ... where their leaving, the scars you're keeping
Exit wounds ... where their leaving, the scars you're keepin'

AN: Ok, so there it was. *Puh* I got to say, this is a moment I've been exited for/dreading for a little while. I began writing this right after I watched the episode and seeing I don't have a Beta Reader, I've been trying to edit and rewrite it for the last weeks. I hope there aren't too many errors, please bear with me.

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Disclaimer: The song and lyrics belongs to the respective owners, not me.