- You could turn and stay, but you ran away (I made mess who doesn't?) -
Disclaimer: I don't claim to own the vampire diaries in any way they belong to Julie Plec and L. J. Smith I'm just writing for fun
A/N: Hey so I've been watching a lot of Steroline clips lately and got a few fics idea…Hope you like this one :) I'm still writing the next chapter of my other story and I also have been working on a CS story so… I will probably only update next week, sorry. Oh, and just so you know I wrote this like five days ago so it's before I watched 6x09 or 6x10, I just didn't have the time to post it earlier. Reviews are always welcomed
- The title is from the song 'You ran away' by Barenaked Ladies.
Summary:One-Shot| "Look Caroline, I messed up, big time. Okay? I know I did and I will gladly spend the rest of my life making it up to you but you have to let me a least try. I can't spend eternity with you hating me." Or the five times Caroline walked away from Stefan and the one time he didn't let her (Inspired by a fic I read on AO3)
One
"Well, let me summarize them for you. You're a dick."
Ironic how those words are the one's causing him to finally have the courage look her in the eye. He stared at them, seeing nothing but anger, betrayal and hurt. He caused it. He'd hurt her. He never wanted to hurt her.
"If you want him out of your house, you'll throw him out yourself." She hissed and walked out of the house.
He closed his eyes and looked back down. Sure, he's been called way worst, but coming from her it was different. Because he disappointed her, let her down.
'I didn't want you to think any less of me.'
He really didn't, she's by far the best person he's ever met and probably the best he'll ever meet. She sees the good in everyone. She'll do anything for her friends; she'll never give up on them. She listens, she's there for you. She's his 'freaking best friend and he's an ass.
But he had to leave. Being near Mystic Falls reminded him too much of Damon and being near her reminded him of Lexi, reminded him of all the good. The good he didn't deserve. So he packed a bag; not that there were much to pack since he can't really enter his own house anymore, and left in the middle of the night without a note or anything. He just left.
Caroline of course called him a bunch of times, freaking out when she couldn't reach him. He realized she must be going out of her mind considering he just came back from the dead after dying on her. So he called Alaric, asked him to tell her he left and not coming back instead of doing it himself, like the coward he is. He couldn't handle hearing her voice.
"I mean-you could hear in all those messages that I left you, you couldn't hear that I was completely falling apart without you?"
The guilt washed over him again. He didn't listen, not even to a single one. Whenever she called he'd end up breaking the phone in his hand or throwing it at the wall. He had to replace his phone so much he had to compel the guy who worked at the phone store.
He knew she just wanted to help, that she's grieving herself too. But he doesn't think anything would have helped, not with this. But he should have treated her better. He should have said goodbye in person like she deserves. It would have made leaving her a hundredth time worst, but he should have. After all Caroline is the one who put the pieces back together that night, stopped him from turning it off.
She's the only reason he hadn't done it yet.
Stefan heard a small groan from behind him, Enzo. He turn around to the ruined kitchen, what the hell does she see in that guy? He thought grabbing him by the hand and dragged him over the floor (not gently) towards the back door. After dragging him out to the porch he may or may not have kicked him off it; the highlight of his night.
Maybe it's better this way he thought, returning to the kitchen and began picking up the broken wood pieces from the floor.
Maybe if she hates me it will be easier to stay away.
Two
"You not gonna find out just sitting there, are you?" Stefan asked Damon knowingly. Damon pouted.
Gulping the rest of his drink "Here's goes nothing." Damon announced bitterly leaving the bar.
Stefan sighed; wondering since when is it so easy for him to give a relationship advice for Damon? Then again he also wondered since when he got over Elena. The true is…he just did. He doesn't even know how. It's like he didn't even realize it 'till it happened; Bottom line he was just happy to have his brother back.
Shaking the drink in his glass he let out a breath and looked up, rising the glass back to his lips. He froze when he saw someone walking down the street. Not just someone. Caroline.
Immediately putting the glass back down, he ran out of the bar and chased after her.
"Hey"
Caroline turned, obviously not expecting to see him of all people "Hey." She called back, taking a few steps towards him "So..." She started, her eyes wondered on his body for a second before looking up to his face with raised eyebrows "Am I your last stop on the Stefan Salvatore apology tour?" She asked sarcastically.
Stefan felt himself letting out a short puff, frustrated "Could we just get past this, please?" He asked.
"I'm trying to" Caroline said shaking her head slightly, staring at him in disbelief.
"Look, Caroline. What do you want me to do huh?" Stefan raised his hands to the side, desperate "Stop making me guess and tell me so we can go back to being friends again." He pleaded gazing to her eyes. He missed her. More than he cares to admit.
For a minute there they stared each other in the eyes, for a minute there he thought everything might go back to normal.
"Yeah well you know that's the thing Stefan after all of this I…" Caroline shook her head looking at him; somehow he knew what she's about to say, he wished he hadn't.
"I don't want to be friends anymore." She said more confidently and walked away.
Taking the words in Stefan sighed, shoving his hands to his pockets and looking down; driving a stake through his heart would have hurt less.
He should have known better than to expect her to just forgive him. She deserves better than that. But honestly he had no idea what else to do, but he won't give up again.
I'll find a way to win her over again.
Three
"But you do, still...hate me?" Stefan had trouble getting the word hate out.
Hate is a very strong word and he never thought Caroline could really hate him, and then again he never thought she would like him in that way either. A lot of things started to make more sense to him now though.
Caroline looked like she's really thinking it over "Yes." She eventually said nodding her head lightly "Yeah, I hate you." She said, anger filling her voice.
Stefan swallowed the lump in his throat but still looked her in the eye "Because if I don't hate you for ruining our friendship, that I have to hate myself for ruining it." Her voice was trembling at that point "And I think I deserve better than that." She said and walked out of the hall, as far away from him she could possibly get probably. Yeah, you do the voice in his head agreed with her.
Stefan head was in an overdrive, drowning in disbelief. Enzo's words kept echoing in his head she has a thing for you mate, ever since the first time he heard them.
He honestly couldn't understand how he missed it. Especially since Lexi practically shoved it to his face, twice. Screw her for always being so damn right he thought.
Letting out a groan Stefan leaned against the wall, arms crossed looking at the ceiling, searching for answers for all those questions that been running in his brain. How could she have a thing for him? Why didn't he notice sooner? If he had, would things be different? If Damon didn't die that night...would they be together right now?
He was completely honest with what he told her. He didn't know what he felt, he still doesn't. Leaving her behind what the hardest, not talking to her for months was even worst. But coming back to the living while Damon couldn't felt wrong, he needed to start fresh without all the memories.
He still stands behind his decision, even now that Damon's back. But he should have said goodbye, to her face, instead of running like a coward.
Whether it is that he feels there is two thing he's sure of . One, Caroline Forbes deserves so much better than him and two...he's an idiot, for not noticing her feeling sooner and treating her like he did.
Closing his eyes he sighed, I'll make it up to you Caroline.
I promise.
Four
"But I pushed you away the most. I knew that you were the one person who would sit with me and let me cry and I didn't want to cry anymore. So I had to push you away... The most..." Well he thought, if I'm gonna come clean might as well do it right.
Caroline stared at him in amazement, not believing he admitted it "Thank you." Her tone was soft "For saying that." She sounded truly thankful for his honesty.
Stefan found himself gazing upon her face, staring deep into her eyes. Beautiful was the only thing surfing to his mind. What? Since when is he returning to Caroline as beautiful? He's always knew she was attractive, he's not blind but he's never been attract to her that way; at least that what he kept telling himself.
Lies, a voice in his head screamed.
He felt his mouth parted slightly his eyes dropping to the ground, as if he gazed too long at a bright light. Listen… He tried to say his eyes returning to hers, but nothing came out.
What was he going to say? Listen I'm sorry I was a dick? A jerk? Because he's pretty sure she knows that already. Was he gonna say he missed her? Their friendship? And why does that word feels so wrong to describe what they have all of a sudden? What changed?
She's just my friend. No she's not, the voice chants, not anymore.
And that voice is right, she's not. She's something else, something more, something…better. Suddenly he wants to tell her everything, everything going on in his mind. What he thinks, how he feels, what he wants.
"Listen..." The words leave his mouth quickly, as a distant whisper, barely heard.
"Enjoy your leftovers." She cut him off not wanting to hear what more he has to say, a smile framing her face; the dimples on her cheeks showing. She quickly walks away, before he'll stop her.
She left him along in the hall again, his eyes stayed locked on a spot on the floor. He felt his jaw cling and licked his lips lightly before looking up, watching her walking away with slight grace in her step. Wishing nothing more than be able to hold her in his arms and never let her go. Crap.
"I think that someday, you'll meet someone new and you'll fall madly in love, and you'll have moved on without even realizing it."
'Without even realizing it' echoed in his head several times. Crap. Crap. Crap.
Well its official, the voice in his head tells him; freakishly Lexi like
You're an idiot.
Five
"Hey"
She ignores him, nothing new there.
"Caroline." Stefan tries again, more persistent.
"Yes Stefan?" Caroline asked tiny bit annoyed, she was busy putting the finishing touches to the tree.
"We never got to finish our conversation earlier." He explained, watching her hanging a Christmas ornament "Hah, in case you didn't notice I'm a little busy now Stefan." Caroline pointed out not even looking at him, her full attention on her mission; the tree.
That made him smile; it's just like Caroline to worry how perfect the Christmas tree is in times like this.
"You don't need your hands to talk Caroline." Stefan jokes, Caroline glared at him for a long minute 'till she cracked "Okay fine, but if you insist on talking the least you can do is help me." He smiled widely and grabbed the box she handed him, begging to hang the ornaments in the places she ordered him to.
Earlier that day they were out in the woods (like always), on a mission to find Kai when things got a little tense. At first they had a nice talk as if nothing changed, Caroline even laughed at his lame jokes. But all of a sudden she bumped to a magical barrier which knocked her off her feet, right on top of him. Caroline, with a red face attempted to get off him but his arms hold her still, bringing her closer to him. That's when they got rudely interrupted by Damon and Alaric.
With Damon, who begin to laugh uncontrollably the second he saw them and Alaric, who just raised his eyebrows surprised while his lips formed an amused grin; the moment got pretty much ruined.
He also had to suffer Damon teasing him the all afternoon "She's just my friend. I don't think about her that way hah?" Which only caused him to burst into laughter again.
But before that Caroline was about to say something, something important, It bothered him all day. So he went searching for her when he found her outside her dorm decorating the tree.
"So..." Stefan began breaking the silence as he worked on hanging the lights over the window "What were you about to tell me before you -you know...fall?" He struggled to find the right words and noticed Caroline's blush; she did it a lot lately.
"What? Oh that..." Carolina giggled nervously, tucking her hair behind her ear "Mmm, I was going to invite you to the Christmas party." She admitted avoiding his eyes, suddenly extremely interested in picking up the empty boxes around their feet.
"Really?" Stefan asked joyfully, his hand froze in mid-air "You're inviting me this time?" He would never admit how much it hurt him when she didn't invite him to friendsgiving.
"Yeah, it feels kinda rude to invite Damon but not you." Caroline said, trying to make it seem like no big deal "It's kind of family event, no?" Her voice was apathetic but she still refused to look at him.
"Well thank you anyway." Stefan said softly, smiling in a way only Caroline Forbes can me him too "I'll take what I can get."
Caroline finally looked at him, a genuine smile danced on her face. But she quickly broke the eye-contact, bringing her attention back to tree so that she could hang an ornament near the top of it. Only she was too short to reach.
"Here, let me." Stefan took it from her, his fingers brushing hers in the process. A warm feeling went through his stomach; he felt his dead heart beginning to pound fast. She must have felt it too cause her crystal eyes stare right back to his forest green again, her lips parted in surprise.
They must have stayed like this, gazing to each other eyes, for what seemed like forever; feeling like they were the only people in the world.
"Care have you seen the - Oh. Am I interrupting something?" Elena's voice broke their trance, reminding them that they are in fact in a room with other people. She was looking at them surprised, her eyebrows rising in question towards Stefan.
"Ahh...No you're not interrupting anything." Caroline eventually said, tearing her gaze away. Her voice was shaky.
"Are you sure? Because I can find it myself - I'm sure Elena. "Caroline cut her off a little roughly "Sorry." She apologized after seeing their surprised faces at her burst "What are you looking for?" She then asked in a calmer tone.
She then walked away from him with Elena to look for the missing decorations. Not before turning to look at him, throwing him a light smile.
They can finish what they started another time he thought, placing the ornament on the tree. This time she didn't want to walk away. He smiled.
They're getting there.
One
"Are you gonna go and talk to her or not already?" Stefan looked at the person who practically read his mind, Bonnie.
After a long and complicated month they managed to bring her back, kill Kai, get their town back and even restore Elena's memories; she and Damon we're currently busy in some very public reunion.
He was sitting at one of the couches at the Boarding house, trying to enjoy the 'welcome home-we missed you while you were stuck in a creepy time dimension-party' thrown by Caroline. Jo and Alaric who were sitting next to him looked up from their drinks and Jeremy (who hasn't let go of Bonnie's hand since she came back) looked confused. That is 'till Bonnie whispered something to his ear, a knowing smirk appeared on his face; like the rest of them. Stefan rolled his eyes.
"Come on Stefan. "Bonnie said dragging Jeremy to the armchair and sat on his lap "I've only been back for like a week and I already can see it." She pointed out wearing a wide smile; there's no one better out there she could think of for Caroline.
"Yeah well she's not exactly my biggest fan at the moment." Stefan murmured "And with everything that happened to her lately..." A sad silence fell upon them.
During Kai's mission to kill Liv and Luke Caroline's mom got caught in the crossfire and they were too late to save her. Which drove Caroline over the edge, causing her to turn off her humanity and go on a killing spree; turns out she's even worst then Elena. They've tried everything to bring her back, none of it worked 'till they brought Bonnie back. Seeing her dead best friend made Caroline feel again. She brought Caroline, his Caroline back to him and Stefan will forever be grateful to her for it, even more than he already is.
After a few moments Bonnie spoke again "Relax Stefan, She's only mad at you so much because she cares about you so much." She smiled grabbing a drink off the table "Caroline in no way hates you. Trust me. She's just waiting for you to come to your senses and tell her how you feel. Oh, and don't forget to add an apology there. It always helps." She added and put the glass back down, empty, focusing her attention on him and waited. Stefan looked up; they were all staring at him like that, waiting for him to do something.
"What are you waiting for? Go get the girl brother." Damon's voice came from the door, he had his arms around Elena; they obviously been eavesdropping from the other side of the house.
So he got up. Damon's right he should go and get the girl.
"If I were you I'd do it outside, wouldn't want any 'interruptions'." Elena called when he walked past her; by 'interruptions' he knew she meant Damon.
Stefan worked his way through the crowd, how many people did Caroline invite? He wondered walking pass the unfamiliar faces, he didn't think Bonnie knew half the people at this party. Eventually he found Caroline near the window, at his room.
Once he saw her his breath was taken away; she was wearing a gorgeous backless long sleeved, mid-thigh blue dress, his favorite color. He couldn't help but wonder if it was on purpose. Her golden curls were gently dancing on her bare back and shoulders; while her eyes were fixating on the fresh snow outside the house which fell earlier that day, along with a half-empty bottle in hand. She's stunning, how could I've never noticed that before? He asked himself amazed leaning against the door frame, arms crossed.
"Are you going to say something or just keep staring at me like some creep?" Caroline blurted suddenly. She sounded irritated, everything annoyed her easily lately.
Stefan laughed. She's cute when she's angry he thought "Can we talk please?"
"About?" She asked without turning around, biting her lip nervously; she knew exactly what he wanted to talk about.
"You know what about Care." Stefan took a step closer to her, closing the door on the way. Ever since she got her humanity back she's been avoiding him or refusing look him in the eye if they ended up in the same room. Stefan was okay with it, she needed her space, time to deal with everything and he was more than happy to give her that. But it was time for them to talk.
Caroline stayed silent, listening to Stefan footsteps across the floor 'till he reached his bed and sat down "How are you?" Stefan asked gently "Really?"
She didn't answer "Care...please, I need to know." He pleaded staring at her back, probably burning holes in her head.
"I've been better." She admitted and turned around, her eyes full with tears "How do you do that?" She asked her voice choked.
Stefan stared at her confused "Do what?" He frowned.
"How do you kill all those people when you turn it off and just go back living your life? As if you didn't do anything, like you didn't rob innocent people of their lives?" Tears were streaming on her cheeks now.
Stefan hurried to her side putting his arms around her, rubbing her back "Shhh…" He murmured, just like he did when she turned. She didn't fight him; she laid her head on the crook of his neck letting him comfort her.
"She's gone." Caroline whispered "My mom's gone." She said bursting into a heartbreaking cry, wrapping her arms around him for support. He cradled her in his arms taking them to his bed, being there for her like she's been there for him.
She cried for a while, letting it all the grief and despair out of her system, he wondered if she allowed herself to cry since she came back or just been pushing it aside like always. He sat there patting her hair, feeling the tears in his eyes himself because when someone like Caroline cries, you cry.
"I'm sorry" He whispered to her hair over and over "For everything. Leaving you, not being there for you when Bonnie died, your mom...I'm so sorry." He felt her tense in his arms.
"It doesn't change things." Caroline murmured under her breath sniffing, suddenly she pulled herself away from him "Everything that happened...It doesn't change anything between us." She said, wiping the tears she slowly got up trembling on her feet all the way towards the door.
Stefan got there before her. No he yells in his head, I'm not letting her walk away anymore. He stood in front of the door blocking her only way out, she could have pushed him out of the way easily, but she didn't.
"Get out of my way Stefan." She tries to sound intimidating and failed miserably, her voice was still weak from crying, her eyes all red and puffy; but to him she was still the most beautiful thing he ever laid eyes on.
"No." He simply stated.
Caroline rolled her eyes and punched his arm, he didn't flinch "Move!" She exclaimed louder punching him again, harder, still nothing.
"Argh, what do you want from me?" Caroline cried in frustration.
"I just want you to listen, you always run away before I can tell you - That's because I'm not interested in what you have to say Stefan, in case you forgot you're not my friend anymore." She snapped pissed, looking at him with pure anger in her eyes "Now if you excuse me..." she tried to move out the door again.
"No." He pressed his lips together, standing more firmly across the door "Not 'till we talk."
She narrowed her eyes at him, telling him to get it over with. He sighed and rubbed his forehead before saying "Look Caroline, I messed up, big time. Okay? I know I did and I will gladly spend the rest of my life making it up to you but you have to let me a least try. I can't spend eternity with you hating me."
Caroline let out a puff and laughed in incredulously "God Stefan! You don't get it, do you?" She yelled her voice full of desperation.
"I don't hate you. As much as I wish I did, I don't. I love you. And I hate that I love you. That's why I don't want anything to do with you. I don't want your 'freaking apologizes, I don't want you comforting me, I don't want you're stupid sweet gestures or the annoying 'I'm always gonna be there for you speech'. I'm sick of being in love with guys who never put me first or don't love me back. I want to come first for a change." She finished breathlessly looking him straight in the eye, waiting for him to reject her.
"You love me?" Was all Stefan could say, his heart was beating so hard it nearly popped out of his chest
"Really? That's what you got from all that?" She asked. "Unbelievable, you're such a - " She never got to finish that sentence; Stefan's lips were pressed to hers rather roughly. His hand cupped her cheek and the other went around her waist pulling her closer, 'till their bodies were pressed together without a space in between.
It wasn't their first kiss, she kissed him once before. When she didn't have her humanity; she practically jump at him one day kissing him senselessly, pushing him to the floor while her hands immediately worked their way to his belt. If he didn't stop her there god knows he wouldn't have stopped her at all. He would have never forgiven himself if he used her like that. But that was all physical, the taste full with alcohol and blood of someone she just killed. This was different.
She squirmed in his arms at first, so Stefan held her tighter, keeping her still. After a few moments Caroline softens a bit and relaxed in his arms, beginning to kiss him back with passion. Seconds later they both broke the kiss pressing their foreheads together, gazing to each other eyes, breathless.
"Wow." Caroline gasp "Why did you – Cause I love you." Stefan blurted before she could stop him again.
"You're...what?" She stuttered, shocked.
"I love you." Stefan repeated "And I am an idiot for not realizing it sooner or telling you sooner. But I love you." Stefan said out of breathe "Caroline? Please say something." He whispered noticing her stiffness; she froze her eyes still gazing at his.
"Care?" He shook her a little, worried.
A smile began to creep on Caroline's face "Well..." She started taking his hands in hers "You can sure make a girl wait Mr. Salvatore." She pouted amused; Stefan laughed and placed a few quick kisses on her lips, relieved.
Caroline looked at him and licked her lips "Now, I believe you promised something about making it up to me, no?" She whispered seductively, his smile grow bigger "I believe I did." Stefan agreed, smirking.
Caroline quickly pulled him for a another kiss, deepening it more this time, letting their tongues dance together and hands wonder on the other's body; loud moans escaping their mouths. They were so focused in each other, Stefan barely heard that someone cleared their throat.
"Still in the house guys, we don't need to hear you having sex." Damon chuckled from downstairs, his voice crystal clear despite the loud music.
Stefan broke the kiss growling, Caroline looked at him confused, she haven't heard Damon. Listen Stefan mouthed to her.
Focusing their hearing another voice joined "They're having sex?" They heard Bonnie's slight shock "So fast?"
"From the sounds of it they're about to." Damon smirked and they heard Elena slap his arm "You shouldn't eavesdrop." She grumbled.
"Hi you were listening too and damn you're stronger then you look." Damon whined rubbing his arm.
"So I'm guessing that means he told her?" Alaric's voice joined "Yep." Damon popped the 'p'.
"Finally!" Several voices murmured.
"Yeah we can hear you, you know." Stefan said loudly, Caroline giggled.
"That's was the all point brother." Damon called back.
Stefan laughed and returned his attention to the girl in front of him, his girl.
Caroline was beaming at him her eyes sparkling "Where were we?" She asked placing her hands around his neck.
"Oh, you know...you were telling me how you have a 'thing' for me now." He joked. His smile grows wider, knowing it won't be coming off anytime soon. He's truly was...happy. He got his brother back, his home, his friends and most importantly the girl of his dreams, his best friend back. And I'm never going to let her go again.
She laughed and playfully hits him
"Shut up!"
End