AN/ Dear Readers: I've been trying to tighten my writing by only including content that 1) Shows character development or, 2) Moves the plot forward. I've created this area as a repository for the little darlings that I just can't bring myself to let die.

These pieces may be long or short, serious or nonsensical, but they will most likely be funny. Their sole purpose is just to exist and, if we're lucky, entertain.

~MoxieGirl
~MoxieGir44 on Twitter

The Sexy Anthropophagist

This first entry is scene intended for TWATH, Ch 209. Brennan and Booth visit Parker at school on their way to the airport to fly out to Washington State. As they sit down at a table full of tweens to eat some confusion arises about Brennan's diet. Enjoy!

Caveat: Children are dazzled by the new, the flashy, the fascinating. That is why, though we birth, feed, and clothe them; though we nurture, coddle, and cherish them; though we sacrifice our youth, energy, and beauty so they will thrive ... in the end we, glorious as may have been our own sacrifices, become commonplace to them. This is why the fawn over our adult friends, their grandparents and aunties, and their own mischievous cousins.

I am the center of my children's world. I don't know about any of you, but when Grandma comes in the door ... I disappear. It's taken me ten years ... but I'm finally okay with that. o.O

Brennan and Booth were met outside the cafeteria by an agitated Parker who stopped mid-pace when they rounded the corner.

"I thought you'd forgotten, Dad!" Parker stopped right in front of the pair.

"Never! Are we late?" Booth looked toward a set of open double doors leading into a cavernous cafeteria. Wafting from somewhere beyond the doors was the aroma of industrial-sized vats of steamed meat and boiled vegetables.

"Not really. It's just I told everyone Bones might come. They're pretty psyched. Everybody thinks she's the awesomest adult ever," said Parker as he catapulted himself into Brennan's arms.

"What about me? I'm awesome!" Booth whined insistently. "I carry a gun!"

"Wha—I carry a gun," objected Brennan.

"Uh, I have a badge!" Booth pulled it out and flashed it in Parker's face. "FBI!"

"But—I have an immense knowledge of the human body and have seen rotting corpses," she countered.

Booth grimaced, tucking his badge back in his pants. "But—I have a badge!" He said, holding it up again. He reached toward Parker for a hug just as his son turned on his heel, grabbed Brennan's hand, and began pulling her toward the double doors. "What, no hug for me? I'm the parent here,' Booth mumbled, then scrambled to catch up with them.

By the time Booth caught up with them, Brennan and Parker were already seated in the only two empty seats in the middle of a long table of kids.

"Uh, Parker?" Called Booth, hands on his hips as he stared down at his son. When Parker looked up, Booth's eyes bugged out and he scrunched up his shoulders quizzically. "What about me?"

"What!"

"Where—?"

"You can sit here, Mr. Booth. I'm finished," offered a lanky, spectacled red-headed boy. He stood, taking what must have once been a regular lunch tray with him. The mess he now held was peppered with several crumpled napkins, two empty single-serving milk cartons with pencil-sized holes from which poked thin straws. His untouched broccoli florets were splayed across the tray lanced through the jugular by a hundred ketchup dipped toothpicks.

Seeing Booth's face go pale and his lips bunch up in revulsion, the boy stepped back and shrugged. "Dude, it's a reenactment of the Battle of Little Big Horn. Custer and his men were annihilated," he said, holding up his tray level with Booth's nose. "You should see Leighton's reenactment of the Mexican-American War! He had to use two other guys' trays and mushy veggies plus a whole bottle of tabasco to create that. It was wicked! Wanna see it?"

"Maybe later," choked Booth, placing one finger on the edge of the tray to push it away while simultaneously leaning away from the tray's pungent contents. "Thanks for the seat, sport."

Ten minutes later, when Booth returned from a search for food for himself and his partner, he found the tween-filled table sitting silently, their mouths agape, all eyes trained on Brennan.

"So, I don't get it," said a girl with stick-straight black hair wearing a pink ruffle top over a jean mini-skirt and a pair of black leggings. "I thought you said you were a vegetarian … but you eat people too?" The girls face melted into a mask of abject horror. "But aren't people considered meat?"

"I don't understand your question. You're Stella, right?"

"You just told us that 'anthropologist' is another word for cannibalism," gulped Parker before staring, wide-eyed, across the table at his father. How could this never have come up before, he wondered.

Brennan squinted at Parker, confusion stealing over her features. When realization hit, she smiled and shook her head slowly, then looked up at all the children gathered around the table.

"Perhaps I was not clear. I was talking about anthropophagy, which means the habitual eating of human flesh and organs. Anthro-pophagy." She watched their faces intently seeing no change. She looked at Booth who was staring quizzically back at her, wondering how the conversation had disintegrated so rapidly from, Nice to meet you' to 'I eat people'.

"I—am an an-throw-PAUL-oh-jist," said Brennan. "Hear the difference?"

The kids looked at each other. Some stared at Booth wondered if he was a cannibal too.

"Uh, could you— say it again, please," said Stella shyly as she flicked her eyes around the group hoping she didn't look like an idiot, but willing to risk it because this was … well … fascinating stuff.

Brennan smiled wanly. "Okay." She swallowed, wet her lips, and wiggled in her seat. "An anthro-POL-ogist is a person who studies bones. An anthro-POPH-ogist eats human flesh."

"And you are— ?" A young voice prompted from the group.

"Anthro-POL-ogist. I study bones. I know it can be confusing," Brennan said, eyeballing the group, then smiling at Parker who was visibly relieved.

Little smiles began appearing on their fresh little faces. When Brennan caught Booth staring at her, he flashed her a quick smile.

"So— what was that about the sexiness cannibals?" Parker was the bold one with this question.

"Sexual cannibalism is when—"

"Whoa, whoa, whoa!" Booth interjected, his smile dissipating.

Brennan glanced at Booth, but didn't let him stop her. "Sexual cannibalism is the pericoital consumption of the male of a species by the female with which he is attempting to mate."

Blank stares from the kids. Some of them mouthed the word, 'pericoital' and others mouthed the word, 'consumption', as their faces scrunched in confusion.

"Sexual cannibalism is commonly practiced by spiders, insects, snails and slugs, scorpions, crustaceans living in the sea as well as in fresh water, some types of squid, octopuses, cuttlefish, and a few other species," she explained to disgusted shrieks and shivers all around.

"But … why?" Parker looked like he'd just realized that the grilled cheese sandwich he'd eaten had only been on loan, and that now was the perfect time to return it to his tray. "And... what is perry-cordial?"

It's not at all cordial, thought Booth, wondering how far he should let this go before he put a stop to it.

"In times of decreased food supply, the female consumes her mate. A mate of the same species is a perfect source of nutrients for the female. This also increases fecundity, or, her ability to conceive."

Blank stares all around.

"Get pregnant. Have babies," Brennan explained to nods and smiles slowly forming on little faces.

"Pericoi—?" Someone ventured.

"It means—"

"It's dating," blurted Booth, interrupting Brennan. "It means-dating. She eats her date, her boyfriend." He sent a warning glare at his partner who stared disapprovingly back at him. Prude, her look said.

"Wow," rasped Parker, his eyes as big as pancakes. "Please don't eat my dad!" He pleaded, feigning horror before breaking into a fit of giggles along with the rest of the kids.

There you have it. Thanks for taking a moment to let my little baby breathe! I look forward to hearing your impressions!

THANKS to these ROCKING SOULS who have already given
this mad props by dropping me a review!
(And to those of you who are about to!)

You guys are the barometerfor whether or not I should continue with these!

JBCFlyers19, Martreiya, FaithinBones, jsboneslover, soxgirl69, Guest, Someoneslove, chosenname, Fluffybird, pasha54, geraghtyvl, MJRojas28, ghlover8907, ciaomichaella, manicpixiedreamgurl, farchester, EveyEve1215, daniellejoy07, yoshimi0701, daisesndaffidols, alwaysthere39, SammieAtHome, brensfan,
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~MoxieGirl
~MoxieGirl44 on Twitter

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