It was very late on a Friday night, and I was
unable to sleep at all. Watching the Weather Channel, I learned there
was a tornado watch in effect until 6 a.m. Knowing this was the right
time of year, and knowing how deadly night time tornadoes had been in the
past around here in the Deep South, I was up and alert as usual, since
I was basically the answer to the weather radio.
I paced around the one part of my room which
didn't have anything blocking me. I felt extremely nervous because
of this weather-related situation. Here I was, at 26 years of age,
and I was still terrified of bad weather. I could never understand
why I wasn't able to overcome this dreadful nightmare or deal with it as
calmly as most other people.
"Why is this fear overpowering me?" I asked
myself in near tears. "Why is it I can't conquer it?"
Suddenly, a calm male voice asked, "Conquer
what?"
I jumped and turned to face who was there
so late at night. "Ace. I'm sorry. I didn't mean to be
so jumpy."
The Magician could tell immediately how nervous
I was feeling. "You're very frightened about the weather turning
bad in the middle of the night, aren't you?"
"How'd you guess?" I asked as I held myself
by my arms.
"Shirley, have you forgotten? We live
in two different worlds, but we are able to share thoughts and feelings
because of your strong belief in me. Now, let's sit down and chat
about this weather-related fear you have."
As soon as we sat down on my bed, I immediately
clutched my head when I heard a tornado warning had been issued for Dallas
County, just two counties west of where I was, in Montgomery County.
"Man, I hope I don't have to deal with the sirens going off here."
Ace put his arms around my shoulders.
"I don't understand. Why are you so afraid of the sirens going off?"
"It's like this, Ace. This all started
when I was a child. I was at a private school when I remember being
in the hallway one day. I didn't know what was happening, but when
I heard a loud noise, I started becoming very frightened. Since then,
unless it's the first Wednesday in the month at exactly 3:30 p.m. or the
statewide test during Severe Weather Awareness Week in late February, I
will go nuts if the sirens go off."
"I know those sirens mean it's a tornado warning,
but I think there's something more to this fear than you're letting on.
Tell me, what is the biggest thing you fear if the sirens go off?"
As tears began to build in my eyes, I faced
Ace and answered, "My biggest fear…is losing my family, or my family losing
me. If the sirens go off at work, I become frightened at the thought
my family's in danger. My mother and dog here at home, my niece and
nephew at their school, my brother and sister-in-law at their respective
jobs. If something happened, I don't know if I can ever live with
myself."
He closed his eyes and saw the image of myself
in the hallway of Maxwell Elementary School. "What happened here?
It seems you have a book over your head while the sirens are going off.
It also looks like the teacher is kneeling next to you, trying to keep
you calm. You're feeling very panicky."
"I know. That was a day in 1984 that
still haunts me to this very day. We had the tornado warnings three
times in one day: in the morning, in the afternoon, and in the evening.
I was so scared that day, but Dad and the teacher were there to keep me
calm. Of course, there were a couple of close calls later."
Ace then noticed another vision of me, in
the hallway of the family home. "Hmm, this looks like it's about
1996. What date?"
"Must be March 6th, 1996. That was a
little too close for comfort. I remember the sirens going off about
5 a.m. Mom, Rocky, and I took refuge in the hallway like we'd normally
do when the sirens would go off. However, at about 5:15, I remember
hearing a slight whooshing sound coming from the air conditioning unit.
Even though we weren't hurt, I felt so convinced something had happened.
"When we saw the news an hour later, we heard
a local TV station's tower had been completely mangled and twisted.
A few neighborhoods not that far from us suffered a good amount of damage
because of the tornado. I was on my way to school later in the morning
when I passed through Vaughn Road and saw that parts of the St. James School
had suffered major damage. It was so fortunate that the twister came
that early in the morning. If it had happened between 7:30 and 8
a.m., there could have been a lot of kids hurt or even killed."
Just as I was going to continue, Ace and I
both heard seven consecutive beeps on the Weather Channel and quickly saw
something scrolling on the bottom of the screen in a red color.
The message read: "EAS (Emergency Alert System)…TORNADO
WARNING IMMEDIATE ACTIVATION…The National Weather Service in Birmingham
AL has issued a *TORNADO WARNING* for…Lowndes County in Central Alabama
until 4:30 a.m. At 3:48 a.m. National Weather Service Doppler Radar
indicated a tornado approximately 14 miles west of Hayneville and was moving
east at 50 mph (miles per hour). The following locations will be
in the path of this tornado…Hayneville. This is a potentially dangerous
situation…please stay away from windows and get into either the basement
or most interior room to protect yourself from flying debris."
As I changed to the other channel showing
the map of counties, I realized the storm was in the county just to the
west of us. I started feeling more nauseous than normal about this.
"Oh, God, please don't let this happen here. I'm already scared enough
right now."
Ace held me in a calming embrace. "Don't
worry, Shirley. I'm right here. If you want me to stay with
you, I'll be more than happy to do so."
"I'm so ashamed and embarrassed," I confessed.
"I'm too old to be afraid."
"Shirley, stop. Being afraid is nothing
to be ashamed of. I believe there's a saying that goes, 'A man with
no fear is an idiot for we all fear something.' Every one of us has
a fear, and it's okay to be scared."
"But…I allow this fear to overtake me.
I turn very panicky and freeze in horror. Some people at work even
make fun of me because of it."
"They're just being ignorant. When you
have a fear so deep-rooted from your childhood, you can still carry that
fear into adulthood. You take every warning seriously and have concern
for the safety of your family and others. The problem is like you
just said. You're allowing this fear to overpower you, your heart,
and your mind. You're unable to think clearly, and your emotional
state becomes a bit uncontrollable. I can understand how you feel,
though. When I couldn't control my powers as a teenager, I let fear
overpower me, too. In due time, though, I came to terms with what
I was afraid of."
"You're lucky, Ace. I'm still frightened
of the weather, and I don't think I'll ever be able to come to terms with
this fear."
The Magician tried his best to comfort me
when we both heard a loud noise coming from outside the house. It
was a monotonous sound as though someone was playing the trumpet for miles
and miles around.
"It's…" I said in whispered fear. "It's
the sirens. Now it's our turn." I quickly turned to Ace.
"Get into the hallway while I wake Mom and Rocky. Hurry."
Ace ran into the hallway while I quickly grabbed
my sports walkman, the only way I could tell what was happening weatherwise
when the weather would turn bad, forcing us into the hallway.
I quickly got to Mom's room and quickly awakened
her as my dog Rocky started barking wildly. "Mom, wake up, quick.
Tornado warning right now. We've got to move."
Mom wasn't as scared as I was about the weather,
unless it was happening in the middle of the night. She, too, remembered
some of the deadly tornadoes striking in the middle of the night.
"Okay, sweetie. You've got the radio, so let's get into the hallway
and close the doors."
Within a minute Mom, Rocky, and I were safely
in the hallway.
Ace sat next to me near the door to my room,
but amazingly I was the only one who could see him.
Before I could say anything, though, Ace sent
me an important thought. Shirley, I suggest we contact each other
by thought only. This way, your mother won't think you're crazy.
I understand, Ace. Will you…stay
here with us for the duration of this warning?
I will be here, my friend. You won't
have to deal with this weather situation alone.
As I quickly turned on the nearest radio station,
I finally heard all the important information. "The National Weather
Service in Birmingham has issued a tornado warning for Montgomery County
until 5:30 a.m. According to National Weather Service Doppler Radar,
a thunderstorm with strong rotation was spotted less than six miles west
of Montgomery, and the city itself will be in its path, as the storm is
moving east at 50 miles an hour. Keep in mind this is only a radar-indicated
tornado, but remember, some of the deadliest tornadoes in recent memory
have been occurring in the overnight hours, so seek shelter in an interior
room in the center of your house or the basement if have one. Whatever
you do, stay away from windows. We'll keep you up to date on this
potentially dangerous situation."
I gave Mom the necessary information about
what was happening while Ace read my mind and heard the details there.
So far it's only a tornado spotted on radar, Ace thought to me. Do
you think it's safe yet?
No, Ace. Remember what he said, some
of the deadliest twisters are striking through the overnight hours.
We need to stay here until we get the all-clear signal from the radio station.
Okay, I understand. Try not to worry.
I'm here, too.
Thank you, my friend. I'm feeling
a little calmer already. You being here is helping me some with my
fear.
I continued trying to maintain calm for myself
when the music on the radio was suddenly interrupted. "Okay, folks,
stay in the interior room. Law enforcement has spotted a tornado
on the ground not too far away from the downtown area. They're telling
us it's not a life-threatening situation, but stay alert."
My nerves started getting on edge again as
I relayed the information to Mom.
"Oh, my goodness," she stated anxiously.
"This is why I don't like severe weather at night."
"I know, Mom. I know. Believe
me, I feel the same way." I then closed my eyes and thought to Ace
again. Ace, I'm getting scared. I don't know if I can stay
calm for long.
I'm here to help you, I promise.
However, what you need to do is go deep into your heart and confront your
fears, like you let Angie do in that first story you wrote, when you made
her confront the fear of her powers. Face your fears head on.
This won't be an easy battle, but you can come to terms with your terrible
fear.
I let my whole body relax as I breathed deeply
to reach my heart. I am scared, frightened. I don't know
if I can overcome my worst fear.
Ace then appeared to me within my heart.
"I know how hard this is for you. Just feel your heart and battle
this demon inside you."
I looked at the demon, shaped like the
F5 tornado which devastated Oklahoma City, Oklahoma, in 1999. I felt
my whole body turning cold. "I…I can't! I can't do it!"
"Yes, you can, Shirley. You may not
win the war, but you must try to come to terms with it. Tell it how
you feel deep inside your heart."
I faced the demon of my worst fear.
"I'm scared of you because I don't want anything to happen to me or my
family. I don't know if I can ever deal with this fear."
Somehow, I could hear the demon talking
to me. "Little one, you are afraid I will harm you and your family
with my powerful winds. When I create enough wind to make those sirens
go off, your emotions turn to freeze and fear. However, there is
something here more powerful than my winds, which is your own heart."
"I know the power of the heart is very
strong, as I've always demonstrated with my character, Angela Jacobs, yet…my
heart is not as strong. Angie is only an extension of myself and
my dreams, what I dream to be."
"Little one, you have let the fear of me
become powerful enough to affect your life, and there are those at work
who dare to make fun of you because of your fear. What you seek is
peace of mind and in your soul. You are never able to sleep because
of me threatening you and those you love at night. I know you can
achieve it by telling yourself that being afraid is okay, but it is not
okay when it affects the aspects of life itself. We can come to terms
with each other, if you are willing to try."
"Really? You want to come to terms
with me?"
"Yes, I do. I know your fear has
had control over you for years. You need to give yourself some peace
of mind. Here's one solution that may help you a lot: Buy yourself
a weather radio, and when severe weather decides to threaten in
the midst of night, you will not have to stand in for the radio anymore.
You will be able to sleep a little better, knowing you will have something
to keep you ready for the worst of weather conditions."
"I've been trying to find a good one for
so long, but they're so expensive."
"I know. Look around before deciding
on a good one. It is time to give yourself some peace of mind, and
a restful soul."
"Thank you. I know you are an act
of Mother Nature's fury, and there is nothing I can do to control it.
Hopefully, this will help me at least come to terms with this terrible
fear I've had since my childhood."
The giant tornado gradually became smaller.
"I understand, my child. You don't have to assume every tornado will
kill or destroy. You know the precautions, but now it is up to you
to try to keep a cool head and a calm heart. Also, if you do become
scared, you have your immediate family and your friend Ace to help you."
Just before it finally disappeared, it calmly said, "Take care, child.
Remember, you should not worry yourself about things which are out of your
control. Come to terms with it, but a little fear is all right to
have. Farewell."
"So long…friend." I smiled as I closed
my eyes and returned to the real world.
Mom was very surprised at how calm I was being
in this weather madness. "Shirley, are you okay? You're being
relaxed, even though there is a tornado somewhere in town."
"I know, Mom. I've had to confront the
demon of fear which has plagued me for so long. I've come to an understanding
that tornadoes are something I have no control over. I have to try
to come to terms with this fear, and I'm hoping to get myself a weather
alert radio…say, this weekend?"
"Not a bad idea, honey," Mom said reassuringly.
"Maybe that's just what you need to get yourself a little peace of mind
and a chance to sleep better at night."
Just as things were going well for us, I suddenly
heard a whooshing sound coming from the air conditioning vent! "Oh,
my God! It must be here!"
Mom, Rocky, and I held on to each other and
started praying there wouldn't be damage or any of us getting hurt.
Fortunately, the noise lasted but a few seconds,
and it seemed to be over very quickly. I then listened to the radio
once more.
The working on-air personality said, "The
tornado is moving through the city now and should head towards the area
around the Wal-Mart Supercenter. Stay inside until this thing is
over."
We stayed cuddled for a few minutes, just
in case of any other nasty surprises.
Finally, at about 5:15, the radio said the
most important words. "The tornado warning for Montgomery County
has been cancelled. The storm has moved out of the county, but there
is now a newly issued tornado warning for Macon Cou—"
I turned off the radio and gave the good news
to Mom. She and Rocky went to Mom's room and went back to sleep.
As for Ace and me, we both went back to my
room.
"Well, it looks like you got through it okay,"
Ace said in relief. "Of course, that was a little too close for comfort."
"Yeah, that got a little rough for a while,
but at least it's over now. Only thing is, can I stick with this,
try to come to terms with this terrible phobia?"
"You heard what he said. Start with
a weather radio first and see what happens from there."
I gave the Magician a warm hug. "Ace,
thank you for being there for me through all this. I don't think
I could get through this if you weren't around."
In thought Ace responded, It's okay.
As long as you still have a strong belief in me, I'll always be here for
you. Will you be all right now?
I think so. The worst of it has ended.
I can go to sleep now. Thanks again, Ace. Good night, my friend.
Pleasant dreams, Shirley. Ace
then disappeared in a flash of violet light.
I finally went to sleep, even though morning
was coming. I could sleep in this time because it was Saturday.
A couple of weeks later, after doing some serious
searching, I finally found a weather alert radio that wasn't too expensive.
I bought the radio from Lowe's and took it home.
After I put the batteries into it and plugged
it up into the wall, I gave it a test run to see if this would work.
After twiddling with the controls for a few minutes, I finally found the
right frequency and set it up.
It was then I heard Ace's voice again.
"You've finally done it. You'll finally get that peace of mind you've
sought for so long."
"Yes, my friend. At last, I can start
to ease my worries a little bit and not lose sleep if there is severe weather
at night. Now I'm ready."
Ace held me in another embrace. "You've
taken the first step. I'm happy for you."
"I'm happy for myself, too. I can finally
put my mind at ease, knowing I have this weather radio to help me and you
to be there when I'm scared." I felt my soul be at peace at long
last because I was beginning to come to terms with my weather-related phobia.