A/N First time writing a Westallen fic. Hope you enjoy.
**Disclaimer ~ I do not own the Flash or any of its characters.
Iris raised her hand to knock on Barry's apartment door, then lowered it for a second. It had been a week since Barry's confession. Seven long days of him keeping his distance, and seven days of her trying to process the feelings his words had stirred inside her while she feigned excitement about moving in with Eddie. It was all he'd talked about since she'd said yes. And despite his assumptions about Barry's feelings for her, he was happy - at least for the moment - with Barry's blessing.
She could hear the TV on in the living room and knocked on the door. Moments later he opened it, and she smiled at the sight of him. She was surprised at how happy she felt. The longest they'd gone without seeing each other was when he'd been away at school. Even when he was in a coma and was staying at S.T.A.R. Labs, she made sure to visit him several times a week. Since he'd been back, she didn't like him being out of her sight for too long even though she was with Eddie. The nervous smile he gave her in return warmed her heart in a way that seemed different than before.
"Iris," he said, softly.
It was funny that she hadn't noticed it before, but even her name sounded differently on his tongue now. This was crazy.
"Hi, Bear," she said, idly toying with her mother's ring that she still wore on the chain around her neck. "Can I come in?"
"Of course," he said, stepping aside. He looked around the small apartment apologetically. "Sorry about the mess. I haven't had a chance to tidy up. I was just about to crash in front of the TV and watch the marathon of A Christmas Story."
"Without me?" she asked, watching him move clutter from one part of his tiny living room to the next.
He cleared some space on the couch and she sat next to him. A Christmas Story was a tradition for them before Eddie came into her life. They'd both cozy up together under a blanket on the couch at her dad's until both of them fell asleep. She thought nothing of falling asleep in his arms back then. And now suddenly she was questioning every moment they'd spent together. The conversations they had, secrets they'd shared.
How long had he really known how he felt about her? How hard was it to have to hide it for so long?
"Well I know we used to watch it together ever year, but, I figured you'd want to start some new traditions of your own with…"
"With Eddie?"
He nodded his head and looked away, and her eyes caught the look of disappointment on his face before falling on the tiny Christmas tree that stood on top of a small end table next to the sofa. There was one lone gift beside it wrapped in festive red and gold wrapping paper and a big green bow.
"Who's that for, Bear?" she asked, walking over to it.
"It's for you."
She spun round to look at him in disbelief. After the gift of her mother's wedding ring she wasn't really expecting anything else from him.
"No."
"Yeah, I was gonna give it to you on Christmas day though. And no, you can't open it yet."
He smiled, then grinned. He knew her too well. Keeping it hidden here was the only way he'd have been able to prevent her from opening it. He knew her. Just like she knew him. And she mentally kicked herself for not having picked up on it long ago. How did she not know how he felt? How did she not see how much he cared?
Was it that she didn't want to see? Was it that the knowledge of what he felt would cause her to examine how she actually felt for him?
Suddenly there were so many questions. She thought that tonight she could come here and get some answers.
She picked up the square box, shaking it, trying to guess what it was. He got off the couch, trying to take it, but she moved it out of his reach.
"I can't believe you bought another gift for me," she said, hitting him on the shoulder. "So gimme a hint. Tell me what it is."
"No," he replied, and finally took it away from her. He put it back in its former resting place and she watched the red and green lights from the tree play over his skin.
"Just one little hint, Bear." She grabbed his hand and looked up at him. "Please?"
"Iris…"
There it was again. Her name. And suddenly she felt something. The same something that had plagued her the moment Eddie suggested that Barry was interested. That same something that she hadn't been able to shake from that moment on.
"I wanted to tell you something."
"What is it?" he asked, looking concerned, holding her hand tighter. "Is it something to do with Eddie? Did he…?"
She shook her head. "No. It's about you and me."
"I wish I could say I was sorry, Iris," he said with a sigh. "But I'd be lying."
"I don't want you to be sorry, Bear, and I'm glad it's out in the open now. I was…shocked to say the least. But I kept thinking about how you said you were scared to lose me."
"I just…I'd lost so many things…my mother, my dad; you and Joe were all I had left. You mean everything to me."
"And you mean everything to me too. You're the best friend I've ever had, you know me better than anyone else. You've been there for me more than anyone else. Except my dad of course."
They both grinned, and she was glad that for a minute everything didn't feel so heavy.
"I don't want you to ever think for one minute that you could lose me. I'm not going anywhere, okay? You will never lose me, and I just need you to know that."
She slipped her arms around him, and it felt good to feel him hold her.
"Even when I talk about Zombie movie scales and different species of fungi?" he asked, jokingly.
She pulled away and shook her head. "No."
"What about when I go full-on nerd and bring up spores?"
What he was talking about was silly, crazy, very much Barry, but his voice…his voice right now was deep, silky, and the look in his eye was stirring up those feelings again. He was looking at her mouth, then at her eyes. And suddenly she wondered what it'd be like to kiss him.
She cupped his face gently, felt his hands tighten around her waist and she tilted her head up so that her lips could meet his.
Wham!
Just like that, it hit her. A hammering in her chest, warmth that started from her lips and spread throughout her body. She tingled at the softness of them, at how tender his lips felt against her own. So gentle, and sweet, and different from anything she'd ever felt. She stepped a little closer, and even though her head was screaming 'this is your best friend Barry, and you are Eddie's girlfriend', her heart was telling her she had to, that is what she really came here to do.
His hands were gathered into fists into the folds of her coat while her fingers played with the hair at his nape. This wasn't planned, but it didn't feel wrong. All the words he'd said to her on the couch at her father's house about loving her felt as if they were moving over every inch of her skin as he gently pulled on her bottom lip. She felt a pooling of heat in her stomach, an awakening almost. Of something that had laid dormant, and she felt as if she had to quiet it before it got out of control.
Slowly, ever so slowly, she pulled away.
"No," she murmured breathily against his lips. She swallowed. Hard. "Not even then."