DISCLAIMER:I DO NOT OWN NCIS OR THE CHARACTERS(SADLY) ENJOY AND PLEASE REVIEW! :)
It was a cold, snowy afternoon.
Not that kind of snow that Anthony DiNozzo liked. But the chilly, dark slush that came soon after Christmas.
Speaking of Christmas, it was not the same. it used to be a fun holiday for Tony. A joyful one filled with time spent with his "family".
Not his real family of course. Most of his relatives were either dead or too content with their own lives to pay him any attention.
So he spent it with his NCIS family.
Abby and the Probie, the siblings he never had. Ducky, his eccentric 'grandfather'. Gibbs, who started off as just a boss. Developed into a mentor. Now like the father he had longed for since he was a child.
And Ziva. Ziva…his…well, he was not so sure what she was.
Their relationship had changed so frequently throughout the years. Colleagues, friends, enemies, slowly becoming best friends.
And more.
They kissed in Israel. What did it mean?
So now, there was only one word that he could think of to describe her. Gone.
He spent months tracking her down. Worked with Mossad, spoke to Bashan. Went everywhere that had any significance to her. Read the list. The things that she had longed for so dearly as a child.
Throughout his life, Tony had wanted many things. Some important, but many not.
But now, he wanted only one thing. Ziva David.
He wanted to be with her and finally after the long eight years that they had spent pretending, tell her the truth.
How he loved her.
How worried he was when she was framed by the Iranians years ago.
How painful it was when he thought that he would never see her again when Vance separated the team.
How it had ripped his heart out when he believed that she was dead in Somalia.
But most of all, how much she truly meant to him.
This time, he hadn't missed his chance. He found her. Talked to her. They kissed and it was perfect.
But then, it was goodbye. Not a goodbye that meant "see you later…" This was forever.
She wanted to stay in Israel and start over. By herself.
So Tony waved a final farewell and boarded his El Al flight to DC.
Although heartbroken, he was slightly consoled at the realization that Ziva had slipped her special Star of David necklace into his pocket.
Now he was just feeling many emotions. He felt alone and sad, angry, just a wreck. He had tried so hard.
Tried to repeatedly show Ziva that she was not alone. That he cared so much for her and would never give up on her.
But it did not work. She left because she thought that she was a bad person. That she needed a new beginning.
One with no America, no Orli or Mossad, no Adam or Shin Bet.
So he gave that to her.
But he never called. He missed her. Missed their friendly banter and flirtatious teasing. The way her dark eyes brightened when he called her Zee-vah or how she frequently butchered simple American idioms.
She was his ninja. His stubborn, determined, loving, passionate, yet dangerous ninja.
But now she was gone. And he would never be the same.
Because now, after trying so hard to convey the simple message of "At lo levad" the only one who was alone, was him.
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