Title: In Character
Summary: Leon was in a play. The play was almost done before the zombies came. Leon refuses to break character. Very minor spoilers for 6.
OK, wrote this for two reasons: One, to try to cheer myself up due to the ending in 6 that crushed my poor soul and Two, because the alts are so bad that I have to rip on them! I can't stand any of them, other than Ada's. If you don't know about the alts yet, then this is a spoiler for one of Leon's alts. Just giving you warning!
Also, if you know Venture Brothers, then please feel free to read Leon's lines with the Pirate Captain's voice. Also also, would love to see some fan art of Leon in his alt saying "I love being a faaaake pirate!" If anyone's inspired, let me know! Would love to see it!
At first, Leon did not want to star in a play. It had been Ada's idea. Ada, who seemed to enjoy tormenting Leon, had threatened him into the part of playing Captain Roberts in some goofy little production run by a friend of hers.
When Leon saw his costume, he cringed. He whined. He begged. But once he put on the pirate costume, he found he liked it. He was Captain Roberts, though a small part of his mind liked to think of himself as Captain Swagger. 'At your service, ladies,' he thought, slipping into the costume for their opening night.
Rehearsals had gone very well. Opening night looked as though it was going to go well. The house was packed, the stage was set, and the actors were ready to go. Leon knew his lines, and he was itching to get on stage and perform. It seemed the acting bug had bitten him.
Ada was off in the wings, ready to record Leon and embarrass him in the future if need be. She smirked, but once the play began, she found herself in awe of how amazing Leon was as an actor. Her camera she held limply in her hand, completely forgotten.
The first three acts went well. The audience applauded and reacted at all the right moments. Ada crossed her arms over her chest and smiled faintly. The final act was coming up, as was Leon's big moment. The two rival pirate captains would do battle, with only one surviving to order the crews.
Her smile vanished as a familiar sound reached her ears. A moaning sound. She resisted the urge to face palm. Not again, not here, and not now! She glanced around the dimly lit theater. No one in the audience or on stage had noticed anything. Looking around for a weapon to use, Ada found a long metal pole. It was not a gun, but it would do until she could leave.
As her hands tightened around the piece of metal, she heard a gasp from the audience. "What do you think you're doing, freak?" someone shouted. There was another moan, followed by a woman's shriek. By now the first few rows of the audience knew that something was wrong. The fear of the crowd did not seem to phase the actors, until the moans began to grow in numbers.
The pirate battle that was supposed to last several minutes suddenly ground to a halt. The only actor not staring into the darkened room was Leon, who continued to attack his opponent until the other man fell off the stage. Ada could see him scramble to his feet. He then dropped his prop sword in astonishment.
At that moment, someone decided to cut on the lights. The room was flooded with light, but once people's eyes began to adjust, the people themselves began to scream. Ada did not know where the first zombie came from, but more and more filled the room as they shuffled through the doors and began to feed. A few dragged themselves over to the stage and stumbled up the stairs.
Dimly aware of Leon's cries of success over having vanquished his opponent, Ada sprung into action. She dashed across the stage, using the metal pole as a bat. With one swing, she took the heads off three zombies, but more managed to slip by her. She turned around just in time to see Leon pummel a zombie with his sword. "Leon, we have to do something!"
"Who's Leon?" he demanded.
Ada could have facepalmed. The idiot was so into the role that he was refusing to break character in a life or death situation!
"Captain Roberts, then," she said between gritted teeth. "There's a rival band of pirates attacking, you have to help me do something."
"Aye, that I shall, as long as there's plunder for me!"
"Just do something!"
Ada turned and nearly walked directly into a zombified pirate. Before she could react, Leon stabbed it through the eye with his fake sword. "Leave me wench alone!" he shouted, kicking the zombie off the stage.
"Wench?" Ada scoffed as Leon picked up two more swords, dropped in the chaos on the stage. He leaped from the stage, landed on a zombie, and kicked another backwards over a seat. Ada could only hope he would just attack the zombies and not any possible survivors.
There was no one left alive on the stage, so she followed Captain Leon or whoever he thought he was into the crowd. Some of his survival skills had kicked in, even though he still acted like a pirate. Ada did not know if pirates really knew how to do hip tosses, but Leon was making it work. She used her left hand to reach for her phone as she impaled two zombies with her makeshift weapon. A zombie, this one moving quickly for an undead, lunged at her from her left. She dropped her phone and weapon as she tried to defend herself.
Leon hurried to her and tackled her rotten attacker. "Ye won't be taking my wench anywhere!" he shouted.
"Wench?" Ada asked again, this time with a little disgust. Pirate or government agent, Leon really knew how to push her buttons.
"To the doors!" Leon shouted, running up the bloody aisles.
"Why, is your ship parked outside?" Ada asked. She shook her head and followed Leon, impaling any zombies that came too close to her.
The lobby was a mess. Blood, innards, and zombie parts littered the floor and walls. It was also silent. The undead that managed to stumble their way into the lobby had already cleared the area for them and wandered outside for even more fresh meat. Outside, they could hear more moans and screams, but gunshots accompanied the zombie related noises.
"Come on, Captain," Ada said, grabbing the sleeve of Leon's coat and dragging him towards the door.
"But me crew – "
"Your crew is lost, so come on!"
Leon started to protest, but Ada shoved him out the door. Outside, the streets were crawling with zombies and civilians trying to flee the monsters. Ada looked left and right, trying to plan the best route of escape in her head.
Leon also surveyed the scene. Instead of telling her which way would be best to go, he said, "Ye fight pretty well for a wench."
Ada, having heard more of that word than she ever wanted to hear, slapped him. She realized it was something she should have done earlier, as Leon responded with, "Ow, Ada! What was that for?"
"You wouldn't break character!" she snapped. "Look around you, Leon! There's zombies all over the place."
Leon glanced around and nodded slowly. "Right. We need to get out of here. Let's go east, see if we can't find a ride while we're at it."
They began to walk, clutching their impromptu weapons tightly. Ada, her ears listening for the sounds of dragging feet, could only groan as Leon asked, "Can I keep the costume?"