Disclaimer: I don't own Final Fantasy VIII or the characters therein. Or the song, "Along Came Jones" by The Coasters.
This is a tribute to how many times poor Squall had to save Rinoa from danger. I'll take his rescue service over Cloud Strife's any day of the week.
Along Came Squall
By Kit Thespian
A guy named Squall went and met a girl
And found that he loved her bad.
But you've never known a girl who could
Be the trouble that poor Squall had.
She was standing on a precipice
When the Galbadian army attacked
And they said,
"Our sorceress doesn't like you SeeDs
So we'll sent you home in a sack."
And then they fired their guns…
And then?
The precipice fell…
And then?
RINOA WAS HOLDING ON FOR DEAR LIFE!
And then? AND THEN?
Ahem…
And then along came Squall!
Lean, mean Squall!
Blade-wielding Squall!
Soft-spoken Squall!
Along came strong, cool, silent Squall!
Much later in the story it turns out
Ultimecia possessed Squall's girl.
She put her in a coma and Squall carried her
Halfway across the world.
Ultimecia thought that she would use
Poor Rinoa as a scapegoat yet.
And she said,
"Set Adel and the monsters free because
My wish is your command."
And then she made her put on a space suit…
And then?
She forced her to set the monsters free…
And then?
SHE LEFT RINOA TO DRIFT OUT INTO SPACE!
And then? AND THEN?
Ahem…
And then along came Squall!
Lean, mean Squall!
Blade-wielding Squall!
Soft-spoken Squall!
Along came strong, cool, silent Squall!
The Estharians found out that Rinoa
Was a sorceress for Ultimecia's plan.
They knew they couldn't let her go free
Just in case she went nuts again.
When the couple reached earth the soldiers came
And took Rinoa away.
And they said,
"We're awfully sorry about this
But we're doing it anyway."
And then they took her…
And then?
They put her in the prison…
And then?
They turned on the machine…
And then?
SHE STARTED GOING INTO SUSPENDED ANIMATION!
And then? AND THEN?
Ahem…
And then along came Squall!
Lean, mean Squall!
Blade-wielding Squall!
Soft-spoken Squall!
Along came strong, cool, silent Squall!
Along came strong, cool, silent Squall!
The End!