This fic is actually from a good few weeks ago, but I just reread it and figured it'd actually look pretty good on my FFN profile! It inspired by Phineas's quote in Candace's Big Day (of course), when he says he should have her plan his wedding. One thing led to another and then this mess happened. Writing Phineas being nervous as all hell sure is fun.

Candace slowly ran her fingers through Isabella's silky hair, then began the process of tying it up in an attractive bun, complete with a hairband lined with purple gemstones.

In the mirror before them was a young woman in a gorgeous lavender gown, her makeup done perfectly, her jewelry eye-catching but not too overdone. She looked like she was preparing for the biggest day of her life… but she didn't seem thrilled about it. Below the heavy violet eye-shadow were eyes filled with deep emotional pain. Care had been taken to not put anything on the lower eyelids, because both women in the room knew there would be tears.

"Are you sure you can do this?" Candace asked softly as she finished her job and stepped aside.

Isabella sniffed, then lifted her shoulders and put on a smile with barely any joy in it. "He asked me to be his Maid of Honor," she said simply. "I can't let him down."

The door to the makeshift dressing room suddenly burst open, and both women jumped in surprise.

"Sorry," Phineas muttered as he shut the door and leaned back against it.

"Phineas? What are you doing in here?" Candace asked sharply as she moved forward to impatiently wipe sweat off of his forehead. "I told you to just wait in your room!" She paused, and then her expression turned to one of horror. "Oh no. Did I ruin something?"

"No, no!" Phineas assured quickly. "I'm just… I'm kind of…" He swallowed heavily, then nervously smoothed a few crinkles in the lapels of his expensive black suit.

"I'm nervous," he choked out.

Isabella had time to collect herself, and now she approached her friend and longtime crush and offered him a gentle smile. "Phineas, it isn't even technically real. Everything is fine."

This didn't seem to calm him at all. "So?! After today, Ferb is - He's gonna call me his husband, Isabella! Can you even imagine that? Oh god, I'm gonna be married… legal or no this is just insane..."

Candace swiftly grabbed her brother's wrist before he could start biting his nails. "Phineas, get it together! The ceremony is in just a few minutes! I have everything planned down to the last second and you are NOT getting cold feet on me!"

Isabella grabbed his other hand in a show of comfort, swallowing her own feelings as she felt his fingers tighten on her own. That was all in the past now. Today was Phineas's day, and she wouldn't ruin it with her long-kept secrets. Not like it wasn't well known how she felt for him, of course… he was just the only one who didn't get the hint. Even after all those years.

Candace stared down at her watch, then tapped Isabella's shoulder. "Alright, Isabella, you go meet up with Baljeet. You two have to go down there together, take your places… you remember?"

Isabella nodded and smiled. "I do. We practiced it enough, Candace."

"Not nearly enough, to be honest, but I trust you," Candace sighed. "Ferb should already be there, and -"

"Why do I have to be a big deal?!" Phineas suddenly yelped. "Can't I just waltz out there like Ferb did? I'm not the bride! I'm the groom! We're both grooms!"

Candace groaned and pinched the bridge of her nose. "We've been over this, Phineas! You agreed to it! Dad is gonna be out there, and he's gonna walk you into the backyard, and you're gonna go along with it and get married to your goddamn brother!"

Isabella looked between the two of them, then squeezed Phineas's hand again. "This is what Ferb wants, Phineas. He said so last night when I talked to him. he wants all eyes on you because you're perfect to him."

Phineas swallowed nervously. "R-really?"

"Yes." Isabella smiled again, then gave his hand one final squeeze before slipping out to join Baljeet.

Candace stared at her brother for a long moment, then sighed heavily.

"Are you sure you can do this?"

Phineas reached up and nervously fiddled with the collar of the dress shirt underneath his blazer. "I… I think so."

"Good."

And he was shoved out of the room with no warning.

In the backyard, dozens of chairs had been set up in front of the handmade altar, and each and every one was filled with a friend or relative of some kind. Even the ones who didn't understand, who were a little disgusted, had shown up to offer their support.

Behind the altar was a massive monument constructed entirely out of scrap metal; a sort of callback to the last wedding in that very backyard, as it featured epic scenes from wonderful adventures spanning many summers.

Phineas observed all of this from behind the blinds of the backdoor.

"Ah, there you are, Phineas!"

He nearly jumped out of his skin at the sound of his father's voice, then turned to face the man with a shaky smile. Lawrence was instantly concerned.

"Oh, don't tell me you're afraid," he murmured sympathetically. "I know it seems like a big, scary moment, but - "

"You were the groom!" Phineas hissed through his teeth. "I get to walk down the aisle with everyone's eyes on me - I have to play the bride!"

"Come now, Phineas," Lawrence admonished. "You're doing no such thing. You're a groom, same as Ferb. You just get a little more attention."

Outside, Linda began to play the piano, and the familiar theme of a traditional wedding floated through the air and stabbed Phineas in the gut.

"I'm gonna puke," he muttered.

Lawrence hooked their arms together and gently shook his son. "Phineas, this is your big moment. You're telling the whole world that you don't care about the fact that he's a boy, or your half brother. Don't be afraid - be proud! You're making history, same as you always have."

Phineas bit his lip, nervously looked to the ground, and then offered his father a small smile.

"Okay," he said, a bit shakily. "Okay. Let's do this."

The backdoor slid open, and out stepped the two men, both holding their shoulders up high.

Playing the part of pastor, of all people, was Buford. He stood at his place in the center of the altar, bible in hand, with a look about him that said he took this 100% seriously. Baljeet and Isabella had taken their places as Best Man and Maid of Honor respectively, and…

And Ferb was there, looking just as nervous as Phineas had, his hands clasped tight behind his back as he tried to not lean against the altar for support.

"Damn," he uttered as Lawrence handed Phineas off and they gently took hands. "Look at you. I've… I've never seen you so…"

"Dressed up?" Phineas offered with a tiny laugh.

"Yeah," Ferb breathed with a little smile. "Yeah… you look amazing."

"Not as amazing as you," Phineas replied sincerely.

Buford cleared his throat loudly and opened up the book in his hand to a predetermined page. He opened his mouth, shut it, opened it again, and then unceremoniously tossed the book over his shoulder. "Ah, forget it. I can do this without no stinkin' script."

The gathered crowd watched as he straightened himself and cleared his throat again.

"You all were invited here today to see the undocumented, probably not-that-holy marriage between these two losers, Phineas Flynn and Ferb Fletcher."

"Finally, a break from tradition," Phineas muttered. Ferb snickered in reply as Candace silently fumed in her seat.

"Now, these dorks may be guys, and they may be step-brothers," Buford went on, "but I ain't never seen two people more in love than these two. So if anyone has any objections, you can keep yer mouth shut and kindly walk right the fuck outta this backyard."

"Buford!" Baljeet hissed from his place near Ferb. The "pastor" paid no mind.

"Now," he continued, "do either of you have anything ya wanna say before we get the rings out?"

Both men blinked, and then they turned to each other with mutual looks of complete and utter loss. Candace would have hit them both if she could.

Finally, Ferb spoke.

"Phineas," he began nervously, his hands tightening on his brother's. "Since the day we met, you… you've made my life so much better than it ever was before, or could ever be otherwise. For all the girls I dated in high school, the crushes I had, the love I thought I felt… you are the most genuine of any person I have ever accepted into my heart. And you were from day one. And…" He hesitated, then went on earnestly. "If I may be permitted to spend the rest of my life with you, I promise I will repay every single ounce of the kindness and love you have shown me from the start."

Behind Phineas, Isabella discreetly wiped her eyes with one of her sleeves.

Many others had begun to tear up as well, but it was Buford who was the noisiest, and he had to blow his nose before continuing. "And… and, uh, what about you, Dinner Bell?"

Phineas was staring blankly at Ferb, and had been for most of the short speech. At Buford's inquiry, he blinked, swallowed, then simply said, "I love you."

Ferb grinned as a few members of the gathered crowd laughed, and then Buford cleared his throat once more and clapped his hands together. "So! With all that said and done, let's, uh, let's get those rings out here!"

From the midst of the assembled chairs came Perry, a pillow tied to his middle upon which he carried the two rings (handmade, as expected).

He stopped his waddling gait between his owners and stood perfectly still as Ferb leaned over and took the rings. As he handed one to Phineas, Perry offered a single chatter before scampering away, hoping to hide under a chair so he could openly cry about his babies getting married.

"Do you, Ferb Fletcher, take Phineas Flynn to be your symbolically married husband for the rest of your life?" Buford asked gruffly.

"I do," Ferb whispered with a smile.

"And do you, Phineas Flynn, accept the same terms and conditions?"

"I do," Phineas beamed, his nervousness gone now as he hopped from foot to foot.

"Then by the power vested in me, I pronounce you husband and other husband. Slap those rings on and make out for everyone."

Ferb's hand was steady as Phineas slipped his ring on, but it was not the same the other way around, and as soon as Phineas's own ring was on he threw his arms around Ferb's neck and kissed him passionately as their friends and family clapped and cheered for them.

Ferb recovered quickly and dipped Phineas down towards the ground, never breaking the kiss - though he did briefly open his eyes. And, yes, Isabella was struggling not to sob, but she looked a little happy too. That was enough.

"We're married!" Phineas shouted when they were both standing upright and had parted. "Oh man, this was the best wedding ever! Thanks Candace!"

Candace tossed her hand like it was nothing, but the pride was evident in her expression.

Buford clapped a few times, then put his hands on both men's shoulders. "Good for you guys," he said with guarded affection. "Now, I've been eyein' that cake since I got here, so you'll have to excuse me."

Baljeet trailed behind him, scolding him the entire way, and Phineas and Ferb watched this for a moment before focusing on one another again.

"So. Honeymoon?" Ferb inquired with a raised brow.

"I'm thinking something exotic," Phineas replied. "Maybe the moon? I bet the farm's doing pretty well."

As he settled his head on Ferb's chest, Isabella came closer and did her best to appear absolutely thrilled.

"That was really great, guys," she said. "I mean, not only did Candace plan everything perfectly, but you two just…" She paused and choked down the lump in her throat. "You two were great!"

"Thanks, Izzy!" Phineas beamed, just as oblivious as he'd ever been. "Hey, let's go have some cake. You won't believe all the flavors in this thing - Candace went all out."

"There won't be many left to try if we don't get to it soon," Ferb observed dryly. "Buford looked awfully hungry to me."

Phineas laughed, and then he and his new husband wrapped their arms around each other and strolled towards the buffet table Candace was now viciously guarding, as Phineas and Ferb had to cut the cake together or so help her she would use the knife on everyone there.