Disclaimer: In Marlowe We Trust, so no, I don't own Castle
"I'm on a rollercoaster that only goes up, my friend." – Augustus Waters.
Dear Rick (A.K.A The writer),
Up until a month ago I was on that metaphoric rollercoaster too. Up until that dreadful day in which I fell down the rabbit hole. The day I lost my best friend, my partner, my smile, my always. YOU. The day which was supposed to make me the happiest woman in the world quickly became the one in which I lost my one and done. I miss you like crazy Rick. I feel so selfish. Alexis and Martha have lost you too and I can't bring myself to go and see them. I know that if I do, I will break down. I can't go home Rick. I can't sleep in our bed; I don't even sleep anymore, period. Every time I manage to drift off I see you there and just as I go to touch you, you fade away. I wake up needing you, craving your warm embrace. But I know you will never be there to comfort me again. God, I miss you so much. I miss your smile, your touch, your words, your beautiful blue eyes that used to look at me with such emotion. I can't even find comfort in your books anymore. Every time I try the memories of our life together come flooding back. I remember how much I disliked you. Not because you were annoying, to be honest, I thought that was cute. It was because you went over my head to get what you wanted. But I have never been more grateful for you breaking all the rules because you broke down all my walls as well. I fell in love with you the way you fall asleep; slowly, then all at once. I don't want to believe you are gone Rick. I want to believe that someone else was in that car. But babe, no matter how hard I try, all the evidence points to what I hope isn't true. I still expect you to turn up one day and take me into your arms. I won't give up babe.
I love you,
Always,
Kate (A.K.A The muse).