A/N: This story arc will be the first of two. A second story already planned out will continue from where this one ends. The universe is AU because I have fooled with the backgrounds of certain characters; otherwise I am sticking to the general history because this starts a few years after DBGT. All feedback will be welcomed, but be aware of a few things: 1) Everything is set in stone, I am not making this up as I go along so sit back and try to enjoy this, it's going to be covering a large amount of time (and remember everything is happening for a reason) 2) I am not an all knowing DBZ fan so I am sure I will mess things up that I don't mean to 3) If you're going to flame, let it be for a purpose or to be constructive 4) Vegeta rules
Disclaimer: I don't own Dragonball, Z or GT. This is a work of fiction done by me for entertainment purposes only and to see where the imagination wanted to go.
Chapter 1
" We don't receive wisdom; we must discover it for ourselves after
a journey that no one can take us or spare us."
- Marcel Proust
When exactly did everything change? It was not as if she had woken up one morning and while brushing her teeth had decided that college was no longer an option. But the doubt was there now and it festered within her. Nothing was right anymore; all the goals she had made only a year ago seemed to be those of a stranger...or her parents'.
Parents...they always mean well don't they? But then, someone said the road to hell is paved with the best of intentions. Still, she was no stranger to pressure in her life and she practically thrived on trying to improve herself. Life consisted of studying, training, studying, occasionally hanging out with her friends, training, studying, and somewhere sleep was wedged in. And at the end of the day she would stretch, look out her window and think ' There's no way in hell that this is all there is.'
Sometimes she tried to attribute it to her age and that it was just a phase she was going through but deep inside she knew better. It was everything taken as a whole; the sum of the parts being the person she was on her way to becoming. She didn't resist certain things, the desire to be a strong fighter and protector of Earth like her grandfather held fast. ' Grandpa...I miss you so much' she thought. But he had been gone for a few years now, which left her to train with her father, uncle and the Briefs family.
Training with all of them was very intense but it left her unfulfilled. Aside from always having to prove herself amidst the testosterone, she felt like she was missing a huge part of herself. Vegeta was always pushing himself nonstop to become more powerful as if he lived for nothing else. Maybe he didn't. She felt the wind pick up as she approached the lake and sighed lightly.
" I don't know what it is but they're doing it wrong. Something tells me that there is so much more that we somehow overlook. You always knew more than you let on. That's why you surpassed Vegeta and everyone else. It was more than just being the incredibly good man you are..." her voice trailed off quietly.
" Trust your feelings Pan." Pan quickly looked over to see Goku sitting a few yards away along the bank with a fishing pole.
" Still in the habit of dropping in on me without any warning I see," sighed Pan as she walked over and sat down next to him.
" It's funny to see you scream, you used to jump 20 feet into the air! But I think those days are over now, eh?" he grinned. He reminded her of a mischievous boy when he smiled like that so innocently and she couldn't help but smile back.
" It's good to see you Grandpa. I wasn't sure if..." she began.
" That I would appear to you again this year? I'm always here for you Panny and everyone else. The thing is, it's you I can actually talk to once a year so I'm not one to pass up the opportunity," he chuckled, casting his line out into the water.
" One of the many things that seem to perplex me," grumbled Pan. She brushed her bangs out of her face and looked on with amusement as her grandfather drew the line back and recast. Goku glanced at her and then back out across the water.
" I've noticed your restlessness. You don't seem to be into the training like you used to," he said quietly.
Pan lowered her head and scowled. Her body started to tighten and she clenched her fists in frustration. She turned to look into Goku's eyes with her own that started to burn in pain. He lifted an eyebrow slightly.
" I'm sorry!" she cried out weakly and averted her eyes. She felt the air grow dense on the right side of her face and looked up to see his hand resting there.
" You have nothing to apologize for," he stated firmly looking her squarely in the eyes. " I am proud of you Pan, don't ever question that."
A single tear fell down her cheek but none followed. Pan struggled to control her emotions and tried to find a way to be able to explain.
" It's...it's just that I'm so angry!" she yelled. She threw her head back and looked up into the sky hoping somehow answers would magically appear. None came. " Angry...frustrated, I don't know. I'm so confused Grandpa, lately everything has just seemed 'wrong'. Well, for me that is. I'm starting to realize that things really aren't going to be normal for me ever; and that saddens and frightens me at the same time."
Goku reeled his pole back quickly with a triumphant cheer. Off his line dangled a beautiful rainbow trout thrashing about wildly.
" What a good size! I used to catch these all the time! Ugh. It reminds me of eating now...I miss ChiChi's cooking," he sighed. Before Pan could pounce on him to demand if he was listening to her, he continued. " Pan, it's fairly obvious that no one in our family will ever lead a normal life."
Pan nodded. " I'm aware of that. When I was younger I ended up going on this insane adventure with my crush and this really obnoxious monkey boy in space," she said as Goku chuckled. " Grandpa," she continued. " I meant not even our type of normal. Dad and everyone else seem to be able to find a happy balance. They juggle their lives and training and look pretty content. I feel like I have this big hole inside of me. The training doesn't seem to be helping me anymore and I'm getting frustrated because I feel like there is something I don't know. My temper has been out of control...I feel so out of place."
" Your progress has been leveling off a bit?" he asked.
" Yes."
Goku tossed the fish back into the water and laid his pole down.
" Not everyone is meant to take the same path you know," he said looking over at her with a warm smile.
Pan cocked her head for a moment. No, he couldn't be implying what she thought. Surely he wouldn't think that she was so unfit.
" What do you mean Grandpa? I can fight! Are you saying that I can't cut-," she suddenly fell quiet as she saw him raise his hand in a gesture for her to stop.
" No, that's not what I am saying. I am telling you that there are many different ways to arrive at the same destination. Trails all leading eventually to the same goal...does that make more sense? What may be a certain warrior's way could be completely different from another but each can arrive at true power. But in a quest like this one can only achieve it if one truly knows thyself."
Pan considered his words for a moment. She remembered for a moment that those same words were scribed at the ancient Oracle of Delphi.
" Pan I can sense you're at a very important time in your life. You're going to have to make some hard decisions very soon," said Goku.
" Just what I wanted to hear," she groaned while rolling her eyes.
Goku saw her eyes wander off into the distance for a few minutes. She was so still and he thought that she looked so very far away just then.
" Why is it only I can see you Grandpa?" she asked suddenly breaking the silence.
In the past few years in which he had appeared to her, she had never asked that question. He studied her face for a minute while frowning slightly. Her eyes still hadn't returned to face him and he wondered what she was thinking.
" I'm still not quite sure hon. Being dead you get the privilege of having the answers to the great universal mysteries finally revealed to you but not all at once I'm afraid."
" That's ok. Well, how about you just tell me how you got Grandma to put up with you all those years then?" she asked with a smirk. She started to laugh as he tried to shove her and cursed when his hands passed through her.
" Damn it," he laughed. " You always were a bit of a brat," he said grinning as she stuck her tongue out at him.
" It's good to see you still have your spirit Panny. Never let it go. Never give up. Whether people realize it or not, it's that which gives them their strength." He paused for a moment before continuing on. " Perhaps you'd be best served by finding your own path, Pan. Getting away from things can help. I always did my serious training away from home."
Pan tossed a few rocks out into the lake absently. The sky had darkened a bit she had noticed as she watched birds fly overhead.
" My own path...alone?" she asked.
Goku shrugged.
" I don't know. You could be alone or you might have others with you. Even if I did know..."
" You wouldn't tell me," she finished.
He nodded solemnly. Pan bit her lip a little and furrowed her brow unconsciously.
" I need answers...don't you see? I feel so empty because I don't even know how to ask the questions. But I," she stopped for a moment. Slowly she looked over at him and smiled softly. " I'm not afraid anymore."
The sun began to set on the horizon painting the lake with a shimmering road of fiery red and orange. Goku watched the light dance across his granddaughter's serene face. He realized that he was now looking at a woman sitting next to him and not a little girl anymore. But although he knew she was growing up, he still fondly recalled a smaller version in an orange bandana grabbing onto his leg with a ferocious grip.
" I think I know what I need to do now. Something compels me to try and I've always tried to listen to my inner voice. What about the others? Mom and Dad will go nuts," she said gravely.
" No regrets. Your father is a parent but he's a warrior also so in the end he will understand. You need to find your inner peace and quiet the anger you feel inside. Your soul is restless," explained Goku. And then he added, " Do not fear that you will lose their love in doing this."
He glanced at the slipping sun as it kissed the horizon. The warrior gazed at his granddaughter and gave her a sad smile. It made Pan look at him questioningly, her eyes grew wide and she almost choked.
" Oh no...no," she protested as her voice rose slightly from a whisper. " Already? But I still have so much more to say! Grandpa I ..."
" I know Pan."
Goku stood up smiling and motioned for her to do the same. Pan stood and joined him looking out across the water transfixed for a moment by the sight.
" Love this life granddaughter. Protect this world. It is so rare and more precious than you could know."
The wind grew strong again and whipped Pan's hair about. She tucked it behind her ears and looked up at Goku who, was smiling down at her with his classic grin. He made her heart swell. This man was so wise yet people constantly thought him a fool. She wondered often if he preferred to let them believe that.
" Don't worry Pan. Things will work out."
Pan snorted. " Ever the optimist gramps. I wish I had inherited that kind of outlook from you," she replied.
The sun started to disappear below the waterline and Goku's image began to fade in the dim light.
" Take care Pan. By the way tell Vegeta to lighten up once in awhile," he said grinning.
" Thanks for the-oh-so easy task!" she groaned.
" See you next year sweetheart and Happy Birthday," Goku called out as he faded from view.
Her eyes burned demanding the relief that tears brought but she denied them. It never got easier saying goodbye. She glanced at her watch. 7:55 p.m. She was now officially eighteen today. And even though he knew she mouthed the words silently anyway. I love you.
A/N: Ok so we have begun! Many changes are coming for Pan and therefore everyone else. I'll do my best to get the chapters out decently. Please R/R if you can! :)
Disclaimer: I don't own Dragonball, Z or GT. This is a work of fiction done by me for entertainment purposes only and to see where the imagination wanted to go.
Chapter 1
" We don't receive wisdom; we must discover it for ourselves after
a journey that no one can take us or spare us."
- Marcel Proust
When exactly did everything change? It was not as if she had woken up one morning and while brushing her teeth had decided that college was no longer an option. But the doubt was there now and it festered within her. Nothing was right anymore; all the goals she had made only a year ago seemed to be those of a stranger...or her parents'.
Parents...they always mean well don't they? But then, someone said the road to hell is paved with the best of intentions. Still, she was no stranger to pressure in her life and she practically thrived on trying to improve herself. Life consisted of studying, training, studying, occasionally hanging out with her friends, training, studying, and somewhere sleep was wedged in. And at the end of the day she would stretch, look out her window and think ' There's no way in hell that this is all there is.'
Sometimes she tried to attribute it to her age and that it was just a phase she was going through but deep inside she knew better. It was everything taken as a whole; the sum of the parts being the person she was on her way to becoming. She didn't resist certain things, the desire to be a strong fighter and protector of Earth like her grandfather held fast. ' Grandpa...I miss you so much' she thought. But he had been gone for a few years now, which left her to train with her father, uncle and the Briefs family.
Training with all of them was very intense but it left her unfulfilled. Aside from always having to prove herself amidst the testosterone, she felt like she was missing a huge part of herself. Vegeta was always pushing himself nonstop to become more powerful as if he lived for nothing else. Maybe he didn't. She felt the wind pick up as she approached the lake and sighed lightly.
" I don't know what it is but they're doing it wrong. Something tells me that there is so much more that we somehow overlook. You always knew more than you let on. That's why you surpassed Vegeta and everyone else. It was more than just being the incredibly good man you are..." her voice trailed off quietly.
" Trust your feelings Pan." Pan quickly looked over to see Goku sitting a few yards away along the bank with a fishing pole.
" Still in the habit of dropping in on me without any warning I see," sighed Pan as she walked over and sat down next to him.
" It's funny to see you scream, you used to jump 20 feet into the air! But I think those days are over now, eh?" he grinned. He reminded her of a mischievous boy when he smiled like that so innocently and she couldn't help but smile back.
" It's good to see you Grandpa. I wasn't sure if..." she began.
" That I would appear to you again this year? I'm always here for you Panny and everyone else. The thing is, it's you I can actually talk to once a year so I'm not one to pass up the opportunity," he chuckled, casting his line out into the water.
" One of the many things that seem to perplex me," grumbled Pan. She brushed her bangs out of her face and looked on with amusement as her grandfather drew the line back and recast. Goku glanced at her and then back out across the water.
" I've noticed your restlessness. You don't seem to be into the training like you used to," he said quietly.
Pan lowered her head and scowled. Her body started to tighten and she clenched her fists in frustration. She turned to look into Goku's eyes with her own that started to burn in pain. He lifted an eyebrow slightly.
" I'm sorry!" she cried out weakly and averted her eyes. She felt the air grow dense on the right side of her face and looked up to see his hand resting there.
" You have nothing to apologize for," he stated firmly looking her squarely in the eyes. " I am proud of you Pan, don't ever question that."
A single tear fell down her cheek but none followed. Pan struggled to control her emotions and tried to find a way to be able to explain.
" It's...it's just that I'm so angry!" she yelled. She threw her head back and looked up into the sky hoping somehow answers would magically appear. None came. " Angry...frustrated, I don't know. I'm so confused Grandpa, lately everything has just seemed 'wrong'. Well, for me that is. I'm starting to realize that things really aren't going to be normal for me ever; and that saddens and frightens me at the same time."
Goku reeled his pole back quickly with a triumphant cheer. Off his line dangled a beautiful rainbow trout thrashing about wildly.
" What a good size! I used to catch these all the time! Ugh. It reminds me of eating now...I miss ChiChi's cooking," he sighed. Before Pan could pounce on him to demand if he was listening to her, he continued. " Pan, it's fairly obvious that no one in our family will ever lead a normal life."
Pan nodded. " I'm aware of that. When I was younger I ended up going on this insane adventure with my crush and this really obnoxious monkey boy in space," she said as Goku chuckled. " Grandpa," she continued. " I meant not even our type of normal. Dad and everyone else seem to be able to find a happy balance. They juggle their lives and training and look pretty content. I feel like I have this big hole inside of me. The training doesn't seem to be helping me anymore and I'm getting frustrated because I feel like there is something I don't know. My temper has been out of control...I feel so out of place."
" Your progress has been leveling off a bit?" he asked.
" Yes."
Goku tossed the fish back into the water and laid his pole down.
" Not everyone is meant to take the same path you know," he said looking over at her with a warm smile.
Pan cocked her head for a moment. No, he couldn't be implying what she thought. Surely he wouldn't think that she was so unfit.
" What do you mean Grandpa? I can fight! Are you saying that I can't cut-," she suddenly fell quiet as she saw him raise his hand in a gesture for her to stop.
" No, that's not what I am saying. I am telling you that there are many different ways to arrive at the same destination. Trails all leading eventually to the same goal...does that make more sense? What may be a certain warrior's way could be completely different from another but each can arrive at true power. But in a quest like this one can only achieve it if one truly knows thyself."
Pan considered his words for a moment. She remembered for a moment that those same words were scribed at the ancient Oracle of Delphi.
" Pan I can sense you're at a very important time in your life. You're going to have to make some hard decisions very soon," said Goku.
" Just what I wanted to hear," she groaned while rolling her eyes.
Goku saw her eyes wander off into the distance for a few minutes. She was so still and he thought that she looked so very far away just then.
" Why is it only I can see you Grandpa?" she asked suddenly breaking the silence.
In the past few years in which he had appeared to her, she had never asked that question. He studied her face for a minute while frowning slightly. Her eyes still hadn't returned to face him and he wondered what she was thinking.
" I'm still not quite sure hon. Being dead you get the privilege of having the answers to the great universal mysteries finally revealed to you but not all at once I'm afraid."
" That's ok. Well, how about you just tell me how you got Grandma to put up with you all those years then?" she asked with a smirk. She started to laugh as he tried to shove her and cursed when his hands passed through her.
" Damn it," he laughed. " You always were a bit of a brat," he said grinning as she stuck her tongue out at him.
" It's good to see you still have your spirit Panny. Never let it go. Never give up. Whether people realize it or not, it's that which gives them their strength." He paused for a moment before continuing on. " Perhaps you'd be best served by finding your own path, Pan. Getting away from things can help. I always did my serious training away from home."
Pan tossed a few rocks out into the lake absently. The sky had darkened a bit she had noticed as she watched birds fly overhead.
" My own path...alone?" she asked.
Goku shrugged.
" I don't know. You could be alone or you might have others with you. Even if I did know..."
" You wouldn't tell me," she finished.
He nodded solemnly. Pan bit her lip a little and furrowed her brow unconsciously.
" I need answers...don't you see? I feel so empty because I don't even know how to ask the questions. But I," she stopped for a moment. Slowly she looked over at him and smiled softly. " I'm not afraid anymore."
The sun began to set on the horizon painting the lake with a shimmering road of fiery red and orange. Goku watched the light dance across his granddaughter's serene face. He realized that he was now looking at a woman sitting next to him and not a little girl anymore. But although he knew she was growing up, he still fondly recalled a smaller version in an orange bandana grabbing onto his leg with a ferocious grip.
" I think I know what I need to do now. Something compels me to try and I've always tried to listen to my inner voice. What about the others? Mom and Dad will go nuts," she said gravely.
" No regrets. Your father is a parent but he's a warrior also so in the end he will understand. You need to find your inner peace and quiet the anger you feel inside. Your soul is restless," explained Goku. And then he added, " Do not fear that you will lose their love in doing this."
He glanced at the slipping sun as it kissed the horizon. The warrior gazed at his granddaughter and gave her a sad smile. It made Pan look at him questioningly, her eyes grew wide and she almost choked.
" Oh no...no," she protested as her voice rose slightly from a whisper. " Already? But I still have so much more to say! Grandpa I ..."
" I know Pan."
Goku stood up smiling and motioned for her to do the same. Pan stood and joined him looking out across the water transfixed for a moment by the sight.
" Love this life granddaughter. Protect this world. It is so rare and more precious than you could know."
The wind grew strong again and whipped Pan's hair about. She tucked it behind her ears and looked up at Goku who, was smiling down at her with his classic grin. He made her heart swell. This man was so wise yet people constantly thought him a fool. She wondered often if he preferred to let them believe that.
" Don't worry Pan. Things will work out."
Pan snorted. " Ever the optimist gramps. I wish I had inherited that kind of outlook from you," she replied.
The sun started to disappear below the waterline and Goku's image began to fade in the dim light.
" Take care Pan. By the way tell Vegeta to lighten up once in awhile," he said grinning.
" Thanks for the-oh-so easy task!" she groaned.
" See you next year sweetheart and Happy Birthday," Goku called out as he faded from view.
Her eyes burned demanding the relief that tears brought but she denied them. It never got easier saying goodbye. She glanced at her watch. 7:55 p.m. She was now officially eighteen today. And even though he knew she mouthed the words silently anyway. I love you.
A/N: Ok so we have begun! Many changes are coming for Pan and therefore everyone else. I'll do my best to get the chapters out decently. Please R/R if you can! :)