A/N: Well, hello! There was a time when I decided I would no longer post smut on FFn for fear that my account would be closed. I've realized now that I'm just not popular enough to be found :) So screw it (*snickers*), I'm posting smut here. This is my newest piece. It came about because I had been reading up on some writing tips featuring smut, and I wanted to try them out. Hopefully it makes for a good story? All recognizable characters, situations, pairings, blah, blah, blah, belong to Stephenie Meyer, and not me. Shocked? I knew you would be. Two PTB betas worked on this story for me, and I'd love to thank them both, but only one put her (I'm assuming she's a she) name on the doc. So special thanks to JointGifts and the mysterious second beta. Please review! And follow me on Twitter SheeWolf85.
A few updates. First, I fixed a few small errors in this chapter that I noticed after I started writing the second part. They're not big and don't affect the plot at all, so it is not necessary to read it again if you don't want to.
Second, there has been some major reconstruction of this story behind the scenes. You may have noticed how the title changed to 'Desire' and then to 'Love and Lust.' This is because I can't make up my mind :) I had first decided that this would be a oneshot and that I would *not* expand on it. But, of course, I should know by now that I cannot write oneshots. They either turn into two shots (or a series), or they turn into chaptered stories. I first tried to make this a series, but the separate oneshot deal didn't work out. I wrote the next oneshot and it just sounded weird at the end. I changed the formatting a little to a chaptered story, and voila! It works. So that's why I changed it so many times.
Thirdly, I broke this first oneshot into two chapters for one reason: it felt weird to have an almost 10,000 word first chapter when the rest are likely to be about half that. So before you get too excited, chapters one and two of this story is stuff you've already read (if you read the original oneshot). Chapter 3 is currently in Beta, so it will be updated when I get that back.
And lastly, thank you so much to anyone and everyone who sticks around with me through this process of story reinvention. This story is for you :)
So now we get to the story:
Love and Lust
Chapter 1
Renesmee Cullen sighed as she looked down at the chicken on her plate, pushing the uneaten portion around. She listened impassively to the conversations around her, wishing that this trip could just end. Her mother had insisted on the insipid family vacation, and Renesmee knew she'd be nothing but bored all day long, every day. Today was only day two of a fourteen day trip to none other than Seattle, Washington.
She put her fork down and sighed again, looking around the restaurant. It wasn't crowded, but a few of the tables had patrons. Someone across the room laughed, and the sound rose above the muted clatter of silverware on dishes and many conversations.
As she looked around, she noticed a man sitting three tables down from them, staring at her. She met his eyes and was struck by a strange feeling that she knew him. Their eyes held for a few long moments, until she heard her name.
"Renesmee," she heard again, a little louder. She broke eye contact with the man and looked at Edward, her dad.
"Huh?"
Edward chuckled. "I asked if you were having a good time yet."
"Oh … Yeah, I guess so." She shrugged, and her dad chuckled again before turning back to Bella, her mother. They started in on another conversation about their plans for the trip, and Renesmee turned back toward the unknown man.
She had expected him to be looking away, but instead, she met his eyes again. He was smiling this time, and Renesmee felt the corners of her lips turning up in response.
The man was undeniably handsome. He looked to be in his early to mid-twenties, a few years older than her at least, with dark russet skin and short black hair. His eyes were dark, but Renesmee could feel him staring right through her.
He turned away from her then, and Renesmee noticed that he wasn't alone. A young woman and a boy who looked like he was in his mid-teens sat at the table with him. They all had the same dark skin and black hair. The boy's hair was short, and the woman's hair was done in a sleek bob that reached her chin in the front and was cut short in the back. Renesmee bit her lip, telling herself to look away and finish her dinner. She just couldn't take her eyes off of him, though. She stared at him as he talked with the people at the table, and wished she could hear the conversation. The woman was beautiful, and Renesmee tried to tell herself that she was the man's girlfriend. Or maybe wife. There would be no use even thinking about him.
But she still couldn't tear her eyes away.
She stared at him until the waiter came to the table and blocked her view. She furrowed her brow and sighed, looking at her parents as they contemplated desserts. It seemed to drag on forever, and Renesmee put her chin in her hand as her mother asked the waiter's opinion on five different confections.
"Do you want some dessert, honey?" Bella asked, turning to Renesmee.
Renesmee sighed and shook her head. "I'm okay, thank you though." She'd never been a sweets lover, so it wasn't out of the ordinary for her to decline. But her real reason was that she just wanted the waiter to leave so she could stare at the man some more.
"Are you sure? The waiter says the mascarpone cheesecake is delicious."
"I'm sure, Mom. Thanks anyway."
Her parents finally made their selections and the waiter walked away. Renesmee looked up immediately, her eyes going directly to the seat the man had occupied. But it was empty.
She looked around for a second, desperate to find him again. Disappointment flooded through her, and she stared at the empty table for a few more seconds before slumping down in her chair. She didn't pay any attention when her dad told her to stop slouching. She decided she could slouch if she wanted to. Any chance of a fun vacation was just ruined.
She sulked through her parents' dessert, and didn't answer any questions about her wellbeing when they were finally on their way back to the hotel. She was grateful that her dad kept his promise and left his profession at home. She locked herself in her room and sat on her bed.
She had already prepared herself for an annoyingly boring vacation. Why did she have to see him?
She sighed again and flopped backward on her bed.
"At least I got to see him, right?" she said softly to herself. "I could have gone this whole vacation not knowing there was an insanely hot guy running around."
It didn't seem like much, but it did help lift her despair. She could still endure a boring vacation while knowing the world's hottest man was lurking somewhere in the same city.
"And besides, he's probably married and older than he looks. That kid could've been his son."
She got up off the bed and sighed. She didn't care if he was old enough to have a teenage son; he was still hot.
"Wake up, honey," Bella called as she walked into the room the next morning. "We're going shopping!"
Renesmee groaned and turned around in her bed. "Leemelone," she slurred.
Bella chuckled and opened the blinds before poking into her daughter's luggage. Renesmee held up one hand, palm toward the offensive sunlight, and hissed theatrically.
"Stop being so melodramatic. You're coming with me because your dad refuses to shop with me, and I need company or I'll spend way too much." She laid out a shirt and pants on the foot of the bed. "So get dressed and meet me in the living room in fifteen minutes." She patted Renesmee's leg before walking out of the room.
Renesmee sighed to herself and sat up. Her copper hair was everywhere, curls falling in her face and all around her shoulders. She puffed out a breath to try to blow the hair away from her face, but it only came back. Rolling her eyes at herself, she pushed the hair back and climbed out of bed to get dressed.
Fifteen minutes later – not a second sooner – Renesmee dragged her feet into the living room. Bella smiled brightly, and Renesmee wanted to curse the existence of morning.
"We'll grab some coffee and muffins while we're out." Bella patted Renesmee on the shoulder and called to Edward. "We're leaving, Hun."
Edward came out of the bedroom still in his pajama bottoms and white t-shirt, and Renesmee couldn't help but glare at him a little bit. He just shrugged and hugged his wife. "Love you two. Be careful and have fun. You got everything you need?"
Bella nodded and kissed him. Renesmee turned her head. "Yes, I think so. You wanted me to use the gold card, right?"
Renesmee crossed her arms and tapped her foot on the floor as her parents went over expenses and which cards could be used for today's purchases. She could have stayed in bed an extra five minutes.
But, finally, everything was sorted and the women left the hotel.
Renesmee felt a little more alive after eating a bagel stuffed with eggs and cheese and drinking some coffee. She walked along the bustling streets, just taking in the scenery and the people as she followed her mother. Occasionally, Bella would find something that she had to have, but most of the trip was spent looking. Renesmee didn't mind the looking part, at least when it came to things like antique shops and the small boutiques that lined the streets. It was the clothing stores that really bothered Renesmee. She didn't like trying on clothes and deciding what she wanted or didn't want.
"I used to be the same way, sweetie," Bella said as she handed a blue shirt over the door of the fitting room stall for Renesmee to try on. "Your Aunt Alice converted me after I married your father. It took her some time, but she turned me onto fashion."
Renesmee just rolled her eyes as she stripped off the first red shirt she'd tried on to squeeze herself into the blue tourniquet that dared called itself a shirt. She'd heard the story a thousand times; Bella was the shy girl with no interest in fashion at all until she was literally thrown into the world of Edward Cullen and his overenthusiastic sister Alice. The almost-accident had been their first meeting, and it had sparked a friendship that eventually turned into what they had now: a marriage spanning two decades and an eighteen-year-old daughter.
"Do you have it on yet?" Bella asked.
Renesmee adjusted her breasts in the shirt as she looked in the mirror. "Yeah, kinda."
"What do you mean? Let me see." Bella tugged uselessly on the top of the door, impatient for her daughter to open it. Renesmee sighed and opened the door. She felt like she should cover herself; the shirt gave her the type of cleavage she had only dreamed about, and she felt more than a little exposed walking out in public.
Bella nodded. "Your dad might have a word or two to say against it, but I think it's really nice. What do you think?"
Renesmee shrugged and licked her lips as she looked around the store. She felt eyes on her and was a little paranoid that everyone was staring. As her eyes swept over the racks of shirts they were standing near, she saw him.
The handsome man from the restaurant the night before was standing next to a rack of summer shirts, staring at her. She felt her face heat up, but she couldn't tear her eyes away. He was taller than she expected him to be, towering over anyone that passed by him. He was thin, but not lanky. The dark grey t-shirt he was wearing seemed to accentuate his thick arms and broad chest. Someone tugged on his arm and he looked away from her, down at the woman that had sat next to him the previous night. She held up two shirts, obviously comparing them and asking for his opinion. He sighed and shrugged before plucking one out of her hand and putting it back on the rack. She gave him a dirty look before putting the chosen shirt in the cart. Renesmee noticed the teenage boy from last night also standing by the rack. He didn't seem to be paying attention to anything but the iPod in his hand.
"Renesmee?"
She blinked and turned her attention back to her mother. "Um, yeah. I like it." She turned and went back into the stall to change back to her shirt.
"Well hold on, honey, I have some more I want you to try on." She handed a few more shirts and two pairs of pants over the door. Renesmee sat down on the small bench in the stall and sighed as disappointment once again ate at her stomach. She just knew that by the time they were done, he'd be long gone.
At least I got to see him again for a second, she told herself. It's better than nothing.
She got to it and managed to extricate herself from the blue shirt to try on the rest of the clothing. When she was finally done, she decided to keep the blue shirt and a short, faded jean skirt that seemed to fit her particularly well. The bottom of it was frayed, giving the look that it had been ripped, and it came to her mid-thigh.
As Bella put the unwanted clothing in the provided cart, Renesmee scanned the shop for the mysterious man. She sighed in dismay when she couldn't find him.
"How about some lunch?" Bella asked as she turned back to Renesmee.
Renesmee nodded. "Okay."
They walked down the street to a small sandwich shop and got in line. There were five people ahead of them, and Renesmee sighed as they inched their way closer to the counter. They were inching closer in line when Bella handed her the bag she was holding.
"I need to run to the ladies' room; I'll be right back."
Renesmee nodded and shifted her bags to hold everything. She moved up one more person and stared at the menu to try to decide what she wanted.
"Hi," a deep voice said behind her. She turned around and stood in shock as she stared at the man she'd searched for in the clothing shop. He was a few feet away from her, but she still had to look up to meet his eyes. They were just as dark and intense as they had been in the restaurant and the boutique. He smiled and held out his hand.
"I'm Jacob."
She licked her lips and took his hand. His skin was smooth and warm. "Renesmee."
He didn't pull away or let go of her hand. "How's your Wednesday going?" he asked.
"Good. Yours?"
He shrugged. "Getting dragged around town by my sister isn't exactly what I call fun, but it's not too bad."
She smiled a wide smile at the knowledge that he was not married to the woman. Just then, the woman and the teenage boy walked up.
"Jacob," the woman whined, "what are you—" She stopped when she noticed Renesmee and their still-clasped hands. "Oh."
"Leah, this is Renesmee," Jacob said, gesturing toward Renesmee with his free hand. "And Renesmee, this is my sister Leah. The scrawny one's our younger brother, Seth, but he doesn't usually do much other than download music on his iPod."
Renesmee nodded and smiled to herself when she noticed that Seth was oblivious to the conversation. He had earphones in, and Renesmee assumed he was tuning anything and everything else out.
The person ahead of Renesmee in line finished placing his order and moved on just as Bella came back from the restroom. Renesmee pulled her hand back from Jacob's before her mother could ask questions. She noticed the disappointed look on his face and cast him a quick glance before turning to her mother.
"We're next." She gestured to the counter and Bella smiled before stepping up. Renesmee looked behind her at Jacob again before placing her order. As she answered the chef's questions, she thought of ways she could keep in contact with Jacob. Now that she knew his name and knew he wasn't married, she wanted to get to know him more. The strange feeling that she knew him hadn't faded; she felt it stronger now than before. Although she'd never met him before, she still felt a familiarity that confused and excited her.
They moved down the counter to the payment area and Renesmee kept her eyes on Jacob. He let Leah order first and lightly smacked Seth on the back of his head to get his attention when it was his turn to order. Seth pulled an earbud out and mumbled his order to the chef.
Bella paid for the sandwiches and tugged on Renesmee's shirt to get her to follow. Renesmee did follow, trying to keep her eyes on Jacob. She didn't want to lose him this time.
"What has gotten into you?" Bella asked as they sat down, a perceptive glint in her eye.
Renesmee sighed and started unwrapping her sandwich. She knew her mother was no dummy and had probably noticed her staring. She still wasn't sure how to explain herself. "Did you see the man behind us?"
Bella smiled knowingly. "Yes, I did. He's … um … yeah." Her smile expanded, and Renesmee couldn't help but laugh a little.
"Exactly. He came up to me when you were in the bathroom. His name's Jacob and that girl with him is his sister." She bit her lip and looked over at Jacob, who was just paying for their order. He looked up and met her eyes, seeming to relax a little when he did. Leah sighed and Jacob gave her a quick glare before they started walking toward Renesmee's table.
Renesmee barely contained her squeal of delight when they sat at the table next to her. She glanced at her mother, who gave her daughter a look of approval mixed with a look of caution. Renesmee bit her lip and turned back to Jacob. He smiled at her.
"Hey."
She smiled back, euphoria swelling in her stomach as she squeaked back, "Hi."
Bella gave Renesmee a pointed glance, and Renesmee felt a small twinge of nervousness as she gestured to her mother.
"This is my mom, Bella. Mom, this is Jacob, his sister Leah, and his brother Seth."
Seth managed a quick 'hello' through a mouthful of sandwich, and Leah gave him a dirty look. He just shrugged his shoulders and took another bite.
"Do you guys live around here?" Bella asked.
"Yeah. Leah's going to Seattle University for nursing and I'm a personal trainer at Experience Fitness."
Renesmee smiled to herself; she liked that information a little too much. She glanced at Jacob and he met her eyes with his stare. She licked her lips and took another bite of her sandwich.
"Oh, that must be fun. Do you like working there?"
"Yeah, it's pretty fun. What about you, do you live around here?"
Renesmee shook her head. "No, we're on vacation from Arizona. We'll be here for two weeks."
Jacob looked at her and she swore she saw a brief flash of disappointment in his eyes.
Jacob and Renesmee kept up the small talk as they ate, and Bella added her own comments every now and then. She learned a lot about Jacob and his family. Their mother had died in a car accident when Seth was five, and their father had died of cancer three years ago. Seth was only twelve at the time, but Jacob was granted guardianship since he was twenty-one and had a steady job, able to take care of his brother. Seth was fifteen now, and Jacob was twenty-four. Leah was twenty-one and convinced she was going to discover the cure for cancer someday.
As much as Renesmee learned about Jacob, he learned just as much about her. Bella told him how Renesmee had graduated from high school with honors and was taking a small break before looking into colleges. She told him how her daughter was still undecided about a major, and Renesmee felt like hiding when Bella told him her father was pushing her to go into the medical field. Her father was a psychologist, and he came from a long line of doctors or other medical professionals. Bella was his secretary.
Leah and Seth kept to themselves, Leah commenting on Seth's manners a few times.
After a while, Leah tapped Jacob's arm. He turned to her and hummed.
"I need to get to class." He nodded and hugged her quickly. She stood up. "It was nice meeting you guys. See you later. Seth, that paper better be done by tomorrow."
Seth nodded and waved his hand at her, never raising his eyes from the iPod in his other hand. She sighed and gave Jacob a pointed look, before taking her bag and walking out of the shop. Jacob chuckled and turned back to Renesmee.
After lunch, they gathered up their garbage and Seth got social enough to throw everything away. Jacob glanced at Bella for a second before leaning closer to Renesmee.
"I'd like to see you again," he said quietly.
She smiled at him, mesmerized and a little dizzy from the intensity in his eyes. She swallowed and reminded herself how to breathe before she spoke.
"I'd like that, too."
"I don't have to work on Friday. Can I take you out to dinner?"
She took a moment to pretend to consider his question. She didn't want to appear too eager by jumping up and down. She cast a nervous glance at her mother, who was watching the two with a satisfied smirk on her face.
"Yes."
He grinned and plucked a feedback card and pencil from the wooden holder on the table, flipping the card over to write on the back. He wrote a phone number down before grabbing another card and handing both to her.
"This is my number. Can I have yours?"
She bit her lip to keep her smile from breaking her face, as she took the cards and wrote her phone number and the hotel address on the blank card. She handed it back to him and he smiled for a second before folding it up and putting it in his pocket.
"I'll pick you up at six on Friday?" He stood and held out his hand for her. She took it and stood up next to him, glancing at Bella again. Bella nodded slightly, silently telling Renesmee they didn't have any plans for that time.
"That sounds great," Renesmee said.
He squeezed her fingers and met her eyes with the same dark intensity as before. She shivered.
"We should get home, honey. Your dad's probably wondering if we're still alive." Bella picked up her bag.
Renesmee sighed and looked up at Jacob. He nodded.
"Seth's got some serious work to do on a paper for his summer class, so we should go, too."
Seth started to give Jacob a dirty look, but Jacob stopped it with a glance.
"I'll see you Friday," Jacob said, turning back to Renesmee. He lifted her hand he still held and kissed her knuckles. She drew in a deep breath and tried to keep from melting.
"Okay."
She took her hand back and picked up her bags. Jacob held the door for Renesmee and her mother, earning an impressed glance from Bella. Renesmee stole one more look at Jacob before they went their separate ways.
Edward greeted the women when they walked into the hotel room. Renesmee pranced to the couch to deposit their bags and Edward followed her with his gaze.
"She seems happier."
Bella smiled secretively. "She is."
"How was your shopping trip?"
Renesmee skipped up to him and kissed his cheek. "It was wonderful. I have a date!"
"Wait, you have a what?"
Renesmee calmed herself and swallowed. "A date."
Edward looked over at Bella. "You go shopping and she comes back with a date. What store did you go to?"
Bella laughed. "We went to a few antiques stores, a charming little clothing boutique, and Subway for lunch. She met him at Subway."
Renesmee bit her lip and decided not to tell them she had seen him before then.
"So, who is this date with?" Edward asked, looking back over at Renesmee.
"His name is Jacob. He's twenty-four and a personal trainer at a gym."
"Twenty-four?"
Renesmee rolled her eyes. "Yes, Dad. Twenty-four. That's only six years older than me, and you are ten years older than Mom. I don't want to hear anything about age."
Edward grumbled a little and Bella patted his hand. "She's right."
"I know that. But a date, Renesmee? Shouldn't you get to know him a little before you go out with him?"
"I did get to know him a little. We talked over lunch. And what would be the point in dating anyone if I already knew everything there was to know? Isn't the whole point of dating, to get to know them?"
Edward looked at Bella, and she smiled affectionately.
"I talked to him, too, Edward. I thought he was very nice."
Edward rolled his eyes and muttered under his breath, "Of course you did."
"Dad, my point is that I have a date and you're not going to ruin it for me. He's going to pick me up at six on Friday, and you're not going to say a word." Renesmee crossed her arms over her chest to show him she wasn't negotiating.
"I don't get to say hi?"
"No, you don't. Because I know the minute you see him, you're going to try to decipher his every movement. You promised Mom and me that work stays at home, and I'm not going to let you scare him off with your psychobabble."
Edward tried to argue, but Bella put her hand on his arm. "She's right, Edward. I know you would never intentionally step in like that, but it's instinct for you. Let her get to know him better, before you start analyzing him."
He sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose. "I can't believe I'm even considering this."
"Just remember that I was there and I talked to him. He seems very mature and responsible."
"Yes, he seems mature and responsible. If I could sit down with him for ten minutes—"
"No," Renesmee said sternly. "Just one date with him before you scare him off is all I'm asking, and I don't think it's too much. Mom obviously agrees with me."
Bella nodded, and Edward groaned. "Fine. I'll stay in the other room when he gets here."
Renesmee smiled and hugged him. "I love you, Daddy."
He kissed her forehead. "Love you, too, Pumpkin."