Bella could have been driving past the speed limit, but she really didn't. Here she was in La Push, determined and anxious about the decision that she was about to make. She got out of her red truck painfully slow, just trying to be sure that she was doing what she wanted.
She was completely sure as she faced the warm sun in the sky. It was a really rare day today, a day with warm weather and the sun shining over First Beach. Just when she looked at it again, she was absolutely positive about what she would be doing. Life was about living and having fun and making mistakes and falling in love. She wanted to be the sloppy little human that she was. She didn't want to be perfect and living unchanged as the years moved on. She wanted to be able to cry, to breathe, to sleep, to feel the water against her skin, to eat. She wanted the sun. She needed it. Becoming a vampire meant that she could no longer enjoy the feeling of being warm, and being able to feel the sunshine tickling her bare skin. She would have to hide from it all the time. And the thing is that the sun had helped her so much through her dark times. It had always been there to support her, and give a little bit of hope everyday that passed.
That's what she wanted. And so she ran straight to the garage where she knew he'd be. She stopped abruptly at the door to face a stunning russet man under the hood of the Rabbit. A strip of russet
skin was revealed just above the V that was formed under the worn-out jeans that were sitting too lowand revealing too much. She stood there for a few minutes watching him when a voice was heard from under the hood of the car.
"Like what you see, Bells?" Jake's husky voice chuckled, filled with humor.
He got out from under the hood of the car to face her. A full grin was now covering his beautiful face.
Jacob started to come towards her, examining her appearance. Her now scarlet face was looking at the ground and Jacob lifted her chin to see her eyes more clearly. They hadn't forgotten what had happened a few days ago. Their eyes showed the pain, the hurt, the feeling of wanting to be forgiven. Neither of them would forget that day that was reminding them of too much. Bella going to save Edward in Italy, Jake and Bella almost kissing. Jake begging her to stay, Jake's betrayed face, Bella's eyes filled with tears, both of them hurting. Jake because Bella did not stay, Bella because she wanted to stay and not to go save Edward. Each one different but also the same. Everything that reminded them of this day still painfully hurt.
Bella opened her mouth to speak, but she didn't know where to start. Then she remembered why she was here. But Jacob beat her to it and spoke first.
"You're back," he whispered, the pain evident in his voice.
"Yes, I am," she replied, guilt tracking her every word. She then hurried to say:
"Jake, I'm sorry! I was just thinking of him. That he was going to get hurt because of me, and this thought would have been in my mind for as long as I lived, the guilt would have hurt like an open wound every time I would have thought about it."
The pain that was showing in Jacob's eyes was killing Bella inside her heart, for she was the one who had been hurting him.
"I see," his cold voice said. "So, if Prince Charming is back and alive -thank God for that- what are you doing here?" His voice was dripping with irony.
Bella was frozen for a few seconds but snapped out of it. She was here to tell him the truth!
"Jake, I'm here to tell you about what happened while I was gone. I went to Volterra, and saved Edward, with some little complications, but I got back. The thing is that I don't want to be with him anymore. Basically, I just want to be free! Just to be me, and that's it." Relief washed through her, glad to have confessed what she'd been practicing for exactly 48 hours and 58 minutes. Yes, two whole days.
Jake was staring at her like he didn't fucking understand what she just said. And then his eyes lit up with excitement and life. He was happy. However, he soon realized that Bella didn't say that she chose him, either.
"And what does this mean for me?," he asked, waiting to hear something. Just something.
"Well, I didn't say I'm choosing you, either. I want to be single for a while, to be able to see what I want in my life. I need time," she stated nervously.
Jake's mind was already working. No fucking way she would slip out of his hands like that.
"Yeah, okay, time would work. As long as you're not with him, it's okay for me," he said, winking at her.
Bella thought that he was giving up too easily. But before she could even think about it he had moved, picked her up, and pushed her on the wooden cabinet of his garage. Tools were scattered everywhere, and Jacob was kissing Bella with all his might. He possessively got a hard grip on her waist, picked up her arms to hold them over her head, and Bella wrapped her legs automatically around his waist. She was absolutely shocked by his moves, but when his tongue licked her bottom lip, asking for entrance, she was enjoying it too much to say no. Bella willingly opened her mouth and their tongues were now brushing and tasting each other.
She was so desperate for more that she didn't even want to breathe when they parted. She just wanted more. He surprised her, though, when he didn't let go of her.
"Can't you see, Bells? We belong together, honey. I'm made for you. Why do you want to think so much when you got something in front of you right now that is perfect for you?
I'm in love with you, Bells. I always was. You know you love me, too. You want me. I can see it. I can feel it. Why would you kiss me if you didn't want me as much as I want you, eh? I love you. We can figure out everything together, honey. You know we can. Just say yes. Only a word," his husky voice pleaded and his eyes were filled with passion and desire.
Bella was frozen in place, trying to process everything. She was so confused right now. She just didn't know what to say, what to think about everything that had happened. She got up, leaving a confused Jacob behind her to watch the sky for a while. She needed to get some answers and she would get them now. Just as she was leaning against the garage door, the sun was shining brightly on her face. And that's when she understood. Jacob was exactly like the sun. He meant as much as the sun. She could not live without the sun, so she couldn't live without Jacob, either. She knew that much.
Then was the moment that Jacob chose to come up behind her and wrap his arms around her. He just waited until she was ready, exactly like the sun. The sun never goes away, it waits patiently, and warms hearts the best it can. Just like Jake. His arms were warming all her body and she knew that this warmth would always be in her life from now on.
"I want to be with you, Jake. I know how I feel about you. It's really hard to describe but I know what it is. And it's love and need and passion and desire for you. I feel all this, just when you're looking at me. I know that I want to spend all my life with you, but I want to take it slow. Be free, have fun, do what we want, but no rush," Bella confessed, turning her head towards him.
Jacob was absolutely ecstatic.
"Just that you're choosing me is enough. I don't want anything else. Just you. We will take it as slow as you want. We'll be free and everything we do won't be planned. That's life, you know," he whispered, honesty showing in his brown eyes.
"Well, that's what I want," she exclaimed, a big smile covering her face.
"Good. What do you think about sodas?" he barked, his lips almost grinning.
"Oh, yes! Like old times," she chuckled, feeling wonderful.
"Bells, you're absolutely right. Oh, and just so you know: thank you. Oh, and I love you," Jacob exclaimed, glad to be just free and relieved for once.
"You're very welcome, honey. Sure, sure I love you, too!" she said, a giggle escaping through her smiling lips.
Jacob sat frozen for a few seconds, just thinking about what she just said. Then his face burst into a grin.
"Did you just talk like me?" he asked, trying really hard to steady his voice.
"Oh, I guess I did!" Bella gasped, laughing hysterically.
"Well, that isn't right, you know," he muttered, and lowered his head towards her to kiss her.
This kiss was nothing like the last one. It was sweet, slow, patient, warm. It showed how their life would be. Passionate, yet warm. Sweet, yet hard. Everything has its ending. Sometimes happy, sometimes sad. Luckily, theirs was both.