What They Capture
Summary: In which Shizuo is not going through a mid-life crisis, not struggling to be a good father and Izaya is and is not helping.
Length: Multi-chaptered
Ship(s): Shizuo/Izaya
Tags/Warnings: Original Characters, Established Relationship, Fluff, Family Vacations, Travel Fic, Kid Fic, NO Mpreg, take this as you will
Author's Note [Start]: Middle-Aged domestic Shizaya? Sign me the fuck up. As in, I did, sign myself up for it. Dear lord.
Chapter 1: Birds of Paradise
Shizuo was forty-four when he started worrying about his kids growing up.
Well, that wasn't exactly true – he had always had a fear of his kids growing up. Not that this was a particularly exclusive fear to him. Many people held the exact same sort of anxiety. However, this fear had recently wormed its ugly, gnawing head back into his conscience after, when he announced his plan for their family vacation, his children looked at him as if he had finally gone crazy.
"What's wrong with camping?" He asked while his kids continued to stare at him in utter boredom.
"It's hot out." Itsuki said, turning his attention back to the crossword puzzle in front of him. He was never the outdoorsy type. Despite being only eight years old, he was the least energetic among his siblings, and preferred to be by himself unless he got curious. He took lots of his personal traits from Izaya. Shizuo never knew whether to be too worried about that or not.
"Yeah, the last thing I want to hear is the raw, unfiltered sounds of the cicadas having sex in the wild." Haru snorted as she examined her nails.
"Wh – cicadas have sex?" Shizuo winced. Poor Hana, she was the most sensitive of the three and it didn't help that he, along with Haru and Itsuki, had the tendency to be very blunt and straightforward about delicate subject matters.
"That is what the sounds they make are, you know? Mating calls." Itsuki explained in a rather condescending manner, though he sounded bored. But there was a noticeable cadence in his tone that indicated mischief. "How do you not know that when I do?" He prompted. He had finished his crossword puzzle at that moment and looked up with a smug smirk on his face. Yeah, Shizuo should definitely be worried.
"Don't make fun of your sister just because you read something off of Wikipedia. But well, yes. To oversimplify, everything has sex." Izaya said, looking up briefly from his screen to give a pointed look towards Itsuki, who pouted. Looking significantly more down, he went back to work on something else. He never liked making Izaya upset as the two were usually the closest. No one ever said that aloud, of course, but the two's attachment was somewhat of an open secret kind of thing, which made Shizuo a weird mix of happy and sad.
"Hey now," Shizuo says, attempting to steer the conversation to something less traumatising for Hana, who was determined to appear unaffected, but whose expression betrayed her utter disgust and horror.
"Camping can be fun, guys. The stars are out at night, there's a lot to enjoy. Y'know, the stars and, stuff. It's peaceful, at least. C'mon, it'll be fun!" He could see Haru snickering at the side while Hana was stifling a laugh at Shizuo's attempts at getting them hyped about the trip. Izaya had always said that when Shizuo didn't like something, it showed terribly obviously in everything he did. Grimacing, Shizuo silently berated himself. He'd always been bad at lying, but he kind of thought he was alright with acting.
Shizuo often felt a close connection to nature, and he was sad that he had never really raised his kids to enjoy the peacefulness of it considering he never really had the chance to experience it much himself when he was younger, what with all the fights and brawls he got into. Strangely enough, during those times it was chasing Izaya that forced him to come into contact with the more isolated, rural areas of the ever-changing landscape that was Tokyo. The quieter areas. Even though everything he was doing then was anything but. Maybe it said something about Shizuo that the quietest moments of his life were spent screaming.
"Sounds like shit." Haru muttered, and Hana snickered at her side. They were usually on his side.
A loud clearing of the throat brought their attention back to the black silhouette illuminated against the backdrop of a cityscape.
"What's the rule about swearing?" Izaya's typing had paused so that he could fully engage in what was not so much of a 'family discussion' as it was everyone agreeing to disagree. With Shizuo, that is.
"That we don't do it when the teachers are around!" Itsuki exclaimed with a newfound enthusiasm. Izaya says that he's insecure about his age, always eager to prove himself with his wit and wanting to know more than his sisters. Shizuo was delighted that he loved to learn, of course, but he often wondered if this mindset could be more damaging to him down the line.
"Or in front of adults, including us. You know the penalty if you do."
"Yeah, yeah." Haru muttered, right eyebrow twitching in irritation. Shizuo saw much of himself in her, sometimes, which was ironic because she was mostly a result of the Orihara side of their last names.
Izaya first brought up the idea of a 'Swear Jar' – at this point it was more like a Swear Bank – mostly to annoy Shizuo , as was everything he did. But indirectly, it served to challenge Shizuo, a means to test his self-control, saying something about "the purity of their future children". It had been a joke at first (both the idea of children and the Jar) but the commitment did help over time. Izaya, obviously, was never the type to swear in the first place. Hana took after him in that respect. They were too regal for those sorts of things. Haru and Itsuki, however, were more likely to blurt out the casual curse word, which made Shizuo feel guilty because they definitely got it from him. Shizuo did not like the idea of his kids swearing. Children were always more innocent in his mind, the little things in the world that were pure and should be kept out of the vulgarity and seemingly endless cruelty that adulthood had to offer. Of course, the biggest offender of "the rule" amongst them all was Shizuo, who contributed to the offending jar on the daily, but he (tried to) reason that the money was going towards his kids' future anyway, so fuck it.
"But Otousan, how could you let Otouchan get away with this!" Haru says while flicking a hundred yen to the corner of the coffee table where the 'Swear Jar' stood. It was made out of a glass jar Hana got from the first time they took her to the Fukuro Festival. It was too small, and they usually had to transfer the money to one of Izaya's safes, but she'd spent time to decorate it and personalise it in a style that broke Shizuo's heart in the best ways.
The coins made a high-pitched clink before landing inside among other older and newer coins.
"You think I haven't been trying to do anything else?" Izaya hissed, but lost a bit of his edge when he saw Shizuo's shoulders droop lower. Sighing, he relented, rubbing his temples as he spoke.
"Listen, I realise camping is not the most exciting activity for all of you but your father and I feel that it is in your best interest to go along with it, so you will."
"Do we have a choice?" Hana asked sarcastically while Itsuki simply seemed content that Izaya was along with it.
"No, but surprise me."
A tense silence permeated the room, punctuated only by the click-clacking of keys that came from one end of the room.
"I mean…why not we just, I don't know, do the camping at the start?"
Izaya sent Hana a deadpanned expression and focused his attention back to his documents. "That is the plan, yes. Feel free to offer more inciting news."
"Jeez, no need to be sarcastic! I was just saying, since this camping thing's only going to take up like, two days, we can include other stuff too, explore other places?"
Izaya raised one eyebrow. "You do realise that I only have a week off of work, right?" Despite seeming impassive, Shizuo caught the subtle decline in his typing speed as well as the slight shift of his weight to know that Izaya's interest was, in fact, piqued.
And through years of experience, Shizuo found that this was, more often than not, a troubling thing.
"Yeah, but you're good at pulling strings! And if you have some trouble you can get Ha-chi to help!" Itsuki provided, peering up hopefully from where he remained surrounded by an array of scattered Legos and crayons. Currently, he was invested in blocking out a large blob of colour that, as far as Shizuo knew, was supposed to resemble a bird-flower like thing that they had seen at the nearby park. It had looked so odd and exotic that it had shocked the kids. Keyword being resemble.
"And why, pray tell, should we be having this – extended trip?"
While Izaya enjoyed meeting new people to a fault, neither of them particularly felt the need to venture beyond their known realm of Ikebukuro and Shinjuku too often. There was already plenty of exciting things to see here, most of which used to be curtesy of them, and Shizuo did not really enjoy the idea of sticking out like a sore thumb in other countries. Izaya had only ever gone outside to Russia for 'business deals', whatever that meant – Shizuo didn't really feel the need to know.
"Because," Hana began, hands on her hips in the same way that Izaya would do when annoyed and prepared to prove himself right. On her though, it appeared less condescending and daintier. Shizuo could already see her doing the same thing, only this time, she was dressed to impress: donning a business suit and pencil skirt at some unknown board meeting in a faceless corporation. He pushed that thought to the back of his mind to deal with later.
"Spending our holidays in the wild where we can contract who knows what kind of disease and have to live like animals is not particularly pleasant?" Much like Izaya, the kids tended to look down on any accommodation that had less than a certified four-star rating.
"Hey," Shizuo stepped closer. "There's not gonna be any diseases, alright? You'll all be fine." He reached out to place a small hand on her back, it stung a lot when she jerked away from it.
"Yeah but please, we're still young! We should be able to explore more than the small wilderness of Japan!" Hana crossed her arms and glared at the ground as if it was the floor's fault that her life was apparently falling apart.
Sensing the sour attitude, Haru chimed in from her spot on the couch, ever the peacemaker. "Ya' know, Ha-ni's got a point in all of this. I say we should spend the last few days somewhere else. Ooh – maybe even abroad!"
Putting a hand on his chin, Izaya seemed to consider the thought. "Hmm, well I suppose…"
Oh no. "What? But we've had this planned out for weeks, flea!"
When Izaya turned to face him, there was that old glint in his eyes. Possessing the exact same spark that Shizuo would see reflected in the eyes of all three of his kids from time to time. Oh no.
Godammit, here we go.
"Sure Shizu-chan but, the more to see the happier we'll all be, ne?"
And while Shizuo wanted to scoff at how lame that rhyme was, Izaya clapped his hands together, the sound a bit more nauseating than reassuring, and the decision was final.
…
"Oi, wait a bit for me Haru, I still need to gather these two troublemakers before I can tuck you into bed." Shizuo accidentally crushed a wayward pencil while making his way to Haru.
"Jeez Otouchan, what am I, eight?" That earned her a glare from a tired Itsuki, who was drowsily moving around his toys on the floor, one which she returned with an annoyed roll of the eyes and a stick of the tongue, but her eyes softened when she turned back to her father, who appeared rather lost at the moment.
A teasing glint appeared in her eyes. "C'mon, it takes more than a little dark to scare me."
Shizuo often thought of how similar she was to the entire Orihara side of the family, considering, everything. Her expression, in this particular case, was reminiscent of Kururi when she broke her emotionless façade – a bit of a sweet wise-ness that was apparent in young teenage girls. Though, it really shouldn't surprise him too much. When they were first discussing the prospects of using IVF to have children, including all the legal bullshit that made his head ache, Mairu and Kururi jumped at the opportunity to contribute to something larger than them, eager to cooperate. Izaya may have taken advantage of their extremely generous offers – it's not everyday someone agrees to get pregnant, much less two someones who were also sisters – with their only condition being that Kururi would contribute the egg while Mairu would carry the baby. All in all, the weirdest and most questionable thing Shizuo has done in his life, including marrying Izaya. Almost every part of her was reminiscent of them, her bouncy walk and personality, her sometimes reserved and calculating nature and her tendency to brush off the misfortune of others. Her eyes, however, were Shizuo's honey-gold, and they were now looking at him with a reassurance Shizuo feels like he should expect from someone older.
"So don't worry, ok? Besides, I feel like you'll have more than enough trouble trying to get the other two shitheads to coexist in the same room together." She added with a wink and a grin, knowing that she was safe to say whatever she wanted around Shizuo – it was one of their secrets – and she was off.
Shizuo tried to ignore that pang he felt every step she took away.
He scratched the back of his head. "Alright then, come on you two up to bed we go."
In one fluid motion, he scooped each of them up into one arm, kicking aside the drawings and toys abandoned on the floor as Shizuo shuffled to their room.
He felt Hana stirring at his right, when he looked down, her eyes were sparkling.
"Are we really going to go to America? I've always wanted to go there! Last year, Kanna went to Disneyland – can we go there too? And she said that they had fireworks and parades in the streets. It's so cool!"
"Ah, well. Your father and I still have to discuss some things first," A lot of things, really. "and even then, there might not be fireworks and, stuff. And the food there isn't exactly – what you like."
"You mean they have greasy, gross stuff there?" Her face crinkled and she stuck out her tongue.
Shizuo grinned cheekily, enjoying her casual, adorable perkiness that was becoming rarer as the years rolled by. "Yep."
Hana swung her legs idly from where she was propped on Shizuo's bicep, humming along to some old tune, unfazed. "Mmm, well I don't mind. They've got princesses and even a huge, huge castle there, I heard!"
"Lame." Itsuki muttered, his eyelids drooping ever so slightly downwards. Even tired, he still had the energy to annoy Hana, though Shizuo wanted to agree – this sort of whimsy was never his thing. The two bickered the whole way, though it lacked their usual fire. Most likely because the two could barely contain their newfound excitement, which was too distracting for them to really get fiery with each other. Shizuo was sure to add a bit more bounce to every step he took ever so carefully, with just enough of a height that always got them giggling. They spent the remainder of their time being carried squealing and squirming in his arms and Shizuo thought of how warm his arms felt.
He was happy that his kids were happy, of course! That was his stance on everything. And yet, as he urges them to brush their teeth and ruffles their hairs in the way that is equal amounts of annoying and endearing to them before nudging them into bed, he wonders.
…
"Hey, um, do you think this is stupid?" Shizuo asked, lying on his side with Izaya wrapped in his arms, his voice was muffled slightly from nuzzling Izaya's hair while Izaya was scrolling through forums on his phone. This was their usual position when Shizuo was feeling worn-out and unsure, but kinda also when he wanted to convince Izaya of something.
"No more so than your other ideas. So, just a bit."
He let out a deep sigh and buried his face deeper into the particular shade of coal-black that he loved. "God, I just thought this could be, I don't know, contained? Small, nice. But seems like the little ones don't like it that much." He felt the heaviness in his heart sink deeper.
"Oh, don't mind them too much. If I were their age, I'd likely be the same. Just that my parents never really were much for the whole 'family bonding' type deal." Izaya joked, but there was that familiar weight to his voice that only appeared in those weary nights, the kind of nights where they would hold each other a little closer without needing to be asked.
"I think this could be a good thing for them." This part was said softer.
Izaya continued on. "Besides, they can appreciate nature too, just only when it works to their benefit. Like when the heavy downpours flood the streets and get them out of school. They'll have fun regardless."
"Yeah, yeah. I just feel like they're getting, too old?"
"Oh, Shizu-chan, I always knew you would be one of those parents. You're such an oyabaka, it's cute~!" By this point, Izaya had put down his phone and rolled around to face Shizuo, mockingly pulling at his cheeks until Shizuo shook his hands away.
"Don't be too bothered, children are like that: unpredictably predictable. And most like being rebellious and jaded at this point, dealing with – my sisters taught me that much at least. They just like being a pain about it, they get it from me." Izaya said tiredly, though the cadence in his voice revealed that he was a bit too proud of that.
"Hm, I guess. Still can't beat you, though, thank god for that. I don't think I could handle it if all of them were as attention-seeking as you. Who knows what they would be getting up to." Shizuo shudders at the thought. Jokingly. Kind of. Izaya lets out a breathy laugh at Shizuo's teasing. Shizuo liked these softer sides that Izaya had, and no matter how much time passed these sides seemed to grow more and more every year, from the infinitesimally small details to the gargantuanly large areas that Shizuo feels he would never get tired of seeing.
"Besides," the sudden lilt in Izaya's voice broke Shizuo out of his thoughts, he had propped himself up on his elbows, red orbs poking out from half-lidded eyes staring down at Shizuo.
"We could have a lot of fun on this trip ourselves." The newfound playfulness in his voice did not go unnoticed.
"After all, if we just went camping, there would be no room for us to enjoy ourselves too, no?" Izaya continued to stare intensely at Shizuo, tucking an arm underneath his head. His voice was getting low and smooth in the way it always did when he wanted Shizuo's complete attention.
"I mean, I can't imagine having sex in the wilderness, as romantically cliched as that idea sounds." Izaya trailed his fingers across Shizuo's chest, featherlight touches sending tinglings down south.
"What do you think, Shizu-chan? We can spend some time doing those outdoors activities that you insist upon, then when we're at the hotels, it'll be like an occasion to look forward to, an upgrade of sorts. We can get Haru-chan to watch our two other little monsters," his fingers trailed lighter, leaving much more to be desired lower. "While you," Eyes getting hazier by the second. "Fuck me long and slow in the hotel room." Izaya finished off his speech by snaking his pale arms around Shizuo's neck and moved in closer, to the point where their noses were touching. Shizuo responded by wrapping his untucked arm around Izaya's slim waist.
Neither of them would ever resent the birth of their kids. But it was true that after Haru came into their lives, they spent less time in the bedroom. This was the case was even more so after Itsuki made it his personal mission to spend most nights in bed with them, claiming to be 'one extra protector' in case someone decided to come in to attack Izaya in the middle of the night – which had happened before.
One of the most disappointing things ever since they decided to expand was that they had to be subtler when they did decide to have sex, usually after the other has had a particularly straining day. Subtlety was never Shizuo's strong suit but he had Izaya to make up for his lack of it. It usually reminded Shizuo of the past, where every time they met felt like a special occasion – granted, one that never failed to make him angry and pissed off afterwards – but also like some dirty secret. They were also a lot less loud now. Gone were the days of casual taunts, mocking jabs and foreplay. Now that they had both mellowed out it seemed that they preferred to be quieter and more reserved, merely enjoying the warm presence that the other had to offer. But at least they were less prone to breaking furniture now. Shizuo found himself missing that feeling that they had before, like something that had been there his whole life and had one day disappeared. As if he had absentmindedly left it behind somewhere, in a time long past, and lost it forever. It struck Shizuo on his most depressing days, this longing for something that would fill up that small gap in him. It felt as if an old but close friend that had been out of his life for so long that it hardly seemed to matter anymore, but still caused a painful tightening in his chest when he thought about how much it mattered to him back then. He thinks – knows – Izaya feels it to.
But right now, Izaya was smiling, and Shizuo was too. Listening to the way Izaya spoke about the trip as though everything happened already, and that it was paradise. Talking about the research he did on the locations and already thinking of the types of people they could and would meet, Shizuo could push down that feeling. It was true that their expanded vacation pack would offer plenty more opportunities to get the kids excited about the natural world and Izaya definitely had the capability to make all of it happen. By the time he fell asleep that night, Shizuo had fully agreed to go to two different locations, plan them all in a week and rim Izaya after fucking him on every one of them. It felt alright for a few lucid minutes. Though Shizuo was also a little scared that their vacation was so broad, nervous about the limited time-frame and too tired to drag himself out of bed the next day.
…
The next day, Hana is out with some friends, leaving the rest of them to decide what to do. Well, more accurately, Haru and Itsuki suggesting lavish places while Izaya shot them down.
"Oh, we could go on a cruise! I've always wanted to do that."
"What's a cruise?" Itsuki asked, genuinely curious.
"It's like a hotel on a boat." Shizuo explains before Izaya could. "But I think they take longer to travel in, and I'm pretty sure the distance between Japan and America is way too big to take less than a week."
"We're not doing a cruise," Izaya said.
"What?" Haru leaned over the kitchen island, a bowl of almonds in her hands. "Why not?"
"Yeah, what! I want to see the ocean in a hotel!"
Izaya gives Shizuo a look that indicated he blamed him for this. "Because, like Otouchan says, the distance is too big and frankly, I think you would be quite bored the whole time." Izaya says. "Besides, you can already see the ocean at the beach, a cruise doesn't offer many new experiences."
"I won't be bored!" Haru says, insulted. "And it's different on a ship! I thought you liked nature, Otouchan! This one here even has a rock-climbing wall, we will appreciate the nature expedition more if we can apply it, right?"
Shizuo pinched the bridge of his nose. "Haru, we're not even going to be doing any rock climbing just – hiking. And all this is artificial anyway."
"Artificial and less likely to result in any major injuries."
"Is it like being pirates?" Itsuki asks.
"No."
"Yes." Shizuo says, at the same time.
"C'mon, Otousan, can't you take some more time off your work, god knows we have enough money as it is – "
"Right, so no cruises." He gets up from his chair to stretch. A pose which Shizuo finds to be really fuckable – almost as much as when Izaya wears his reading glasses – and then scolds himself for thinking about that in front of his children. "But there's already going to be plenty to see where we're going, trust me. Our itinerary is packed already."
"Our itinerary?" Shizuo said. "Didn't we decide to do this like, a day ago?"
Izaya scoffed, raising an eyebrow at Shizuo.
"I could plan an impromptu three-way war in a day. In my sleep, even. This is nothing new."
Shizuo thinks Izaya is exaggerating his skills a bit, since the three-way war he is referring to involved a bunch of stupid, impressionable teenagers in gangs sprinkled with a few paranormal entities, and most definitely took more than a day. But then again, Izaya could probably do all that and more if he had to, so long as it was entertaining. Maybe. Which only made his eyebrows twitch slightly when he thought about it now.
Shizuo examined the itinerary later that night, and wrote down things like 'this place seems nice for a walk' or 'nice hikes here' or 'this sounds unnecessary' into some of the empty margins. He did some research on the places they would be visiting, and filled in the name of some other locations that looked interesting.
"What do you mean 'unnecessary'?" Izaya quizzed while reviewing Shizuo's changes. He seemed to be in a less generous mood as opposed to the previous night, where they spent a decent amount of time dry-humping before Itsuki barged into the room at his usual time, the excuse this time was that he claimed he heard weird noises. He didn't seem to notice the extreme shade of red on both of their faces as he crawled in between them, thankfully.
"Do we really need to go shopping? I mean, isn't Shibuya already one of the top shopping districts? I don't think uhh, Millenia Plaza Orlando," Izaya cringed at weak English. "will be that much different."
"Shizu-chan! We're going somewhere new, of course there's going to be things to buy. I bet the girls will be thrilled." Izaya said exasperatedly, placing his hands on his hips. "Anyways, what are we going to do at some of these new places? Watch birds?"
"Um, yeah."
Izaya rolls his eyes and sighs hard, making a motion with his hands as if shooing Shizuo away. "Fine, fine. But don't blame me when they get bored. You know how they are."
"Who?"
"Your children! Remember Shinjuku Eisa?"
Shizuo really didn't like to. It was a few years back, a full day under the blinding hot sun amongst a crowd of pushy, bumping strangers. Haru was in some pre-adolescent funk, where she thought being ambivalent about everything was cool, Hana was constantly annoyed at the drums and Itsuki whined about everything else, demanding to be carried by Izaya the whole time. They spent four hours there, annoyed and sweating, before concluding that there would be nothing to be gained from staying any longer. Shizuo punched in five stop signs on the way home.
"But this is different. You said it yourself, they will be charmed."
"Yes. By the fake mascots and shaky rides. Speaking of which, none of them will be going on any ride that was previously associated with some terrible freak accident in the past." Izaya said, while leaning over to rub Shizuo's shoulders as he stared down at the laptop. "I want us to have sex on this vacation, remember?" Izaya pouts, leaning down to whisper in Shizuo's ear. Reminding him much of the snake from some old story he feels should be important. "I left those slots empty for us. During the time in between at the hotel, we can leave them downstairs to look around the hotel, and Haru can babysit while you take your time making sweet love to me in that expensive hotel room, and we can be as loud as we want, for a while."
"God," Shizuo says, his voice husky, and suddenly the shoulder rub didn't seem so innocent. "You're so greedy."
They compromised in the end, he took out the extra hikes but the small walk and shopping remained, which left them with a reasonable forty-five minutes at the hotel before dinner. No bird watching, though.
From there, they operated on a tight schedule, with less than a week to book the locations and arrange the other necessities, being a far cry from the simple elegance of the original plan. It was putting a strain on everyone.
"How about this? Look, this hotel here even has a family en suite with a mini bar area! That should be required, no? You can brush up on your bartending skills – because you're probably going to bring one of those suits along for this. It's only seven hundred US dollars a night."
Actually, Shizuo had not worn his bartender outfits in years. Though they were still in the closet, too precious to throw out but too impractical to wear now.
"Shouldn't we try to do this inexpensively?"
Izaya rolled his eyes. "Since when have you known me to do things 'inexpensively'? And what's the joy of vacation if we can't splurge a little! I'm sure that the kids will love it. Look, it even has a penthouse view, Haru-chan can show off to her friends."
Izaya spun around in his swivel chair as Shizuo pretended to weigh the idea in his head, knowing that he was going to agree in the end, but thinking he should at least put up a fight.
"Well yeah, but I feel like we spoil them too much."
"Says you, at least I don't let them sneak ice-cream in the middle of the night or," The corners of his lips curved upwards into a familiar, sly smirk. "Let them get away with obscene language. Tsk, tsk."
"Figures that you knew." He groaned, pinching the bridge of his nose.
"It's a talent. Anyway, look! Disneyland, 'land of copyright and capitalism'! Hana and Itsuki would simply adore it, don't you think?"
"Oi, oi, how much are we spending on this. We should budget first, right?"
"Ah, well, you see, I've already sent the link to the hotels and amusement park to Hana – ah wait – she's already so excited! She sent me three kamojis back, and they all have sparkles in them, we must include this now, less we disappoint hmm?"
"Godammit flea."
"Well what do you want? We might as well enjoy this vacation. Afterall…"
Shizuo merely nodded along, not really listening at this point. The part about 'enjoying this vacation' stinging a bit. It felt like a jab at him, swift and nearly undetectable.
"Now… Business or First Class?"
"Izaya."
…
In the end, they had arranged their trip in a manner that Izaya deemed to be the 'most rewarding'. Shizuo took that to mean that the least exciting events were placed first – which was his camping idea – but that was to be expected.
[How do you feel about this, really?]
He exhaled a long huff of smoke before he was able to gather his thoughts. The guilty self-consciousness that always ate at his lungs when he did this burned, despite being out of the apartment. Once in a while he and Izaya would visit, though Izaya was starting to come along less frequently.
"I don't know. M'fine, I guess."
[You don't sound very 'fine' to me.]
He shut his eyes and took another long drag. Smoking had and always will be a relief to him, but it had become somewhat of a luxury these past few years. When Haru was developing inside Mairu, Shizuo had promised Izaya and himself that he would attempt to give up smoking. He had lasted until she turned eight, when Hana was introduced, but he always made sure to put a month between every session, and never did it in front of any of them. Despite that, whenever he returned home smelling of nicotine, his showers always lasted longer.
"I mean don't get me wrong, I love them. I love that I'm going to be spending more time with all of them and I think the whole thing sounds fun but, maybe I'm making a big deal out of everything but it just feels like it has gotten more…complicated."
Celty shuffled from side-to-side the way she always did when she was nervous. If she had a set of lips, Shizuo was sure she would be biting them too.
[Complicated? In what way?]
He grinned, glad that he'd always have her to talk to. Her concern was nothing short of welcomed, even if it usually had to be in the vicinity of bad company.
"Ehh, I don't know what you're so bothered about, Shizuo-kun. It sounds like so much fun! I mean, not the 'looking-after-my-problem-children' part, that definitely sounds more annoying, but if Celty and I would ever have a getaway together imagine all the wonderful and lovely things we would be do-ow-ow-ow-sorry!"
[Don't call Shizuo's children annoying!]
The years had, expectedly, done nothing much to the odd couple. Celty, being immortal, was unlikely to change much throughout the years, though Shizuo thinks that the feeling of seeing your best friend get married to their mortal enemy and subsequently fathering three kids with said enemy would have a bit of an effect on anyone, immortal or not. Shinra, on the other hand, had not changed one bit. Though the traces of time were etched on his face as well, in the extra crinkles around his mouth and the crow's feet he had developed. But other than that, same-old, same-old.
"Eh, well, I was referring to children in general, don't worry. I think Hana-chan is the closest thing to an angel in that family, and Haru-chan and Itsuki-kun are…well, not nearly as irritating as Orihara-kun. But Celty, my love, it's so sweet to see you so defensive of them! You'd make a lovely mother, I can just picture it! You know, if you ever want children, not sure if that would be possible with you, but then again look at Shizuo and Izaya, I would do it just for you in a heartbeat!-oW-OK-OK-Shiz-uo!"
Shizuo calmly watched him struggle and flail for a bit before deciding that strangling anyone, no matter how irritating, was a bad example to set.
Once Shinra's feet were safely reattached to the floor, he smoothed out his lab coat, which was as oppressively white as the first time Shizuo saw him in it, and straightened his glasses. He was chuckling as he did so, as if his neck hadn't almost been crushed. Shizuo supposes he and Izaya have always been similar in that regard.
"You really have mellowed down, haven't you?"
Shizuo grunted in response. Maybe Shinra too, had softened a bit.
"The old you would have put much more pressure and taken longer to let go! Or could it be that your muscles are starting to deteriorate from the lack of extreme physical exertion? I wonder if that's possible for your steel bones but it would be interesting wouldn't it?" Nevermind. Fucker was still a little creep.
"If you don't have anything to add, just go away."
"Lucky for you then, that I do have something to add to this conversation. You seem, how do I say…quite unhappy. In all honesty, I don't think Izaya, or your kids for that matter, are being entirely fair to you."
"…What do you mean? Hah?" Shizuo's voice was getting dangerously low, guttural. Reminiscent of the days where he would go around with Tom and Varona, collecting debts from the scum in the streets. Though he quit long ago to be a stay-at-home dad and spend time with his kids and Izaya, whose job didn't require him to go out too often.
Crushing his cigarette between his fingers, he stalked closer towards the underground doctor until he felt the familiar presence of a cool, weightless substance on his shoulder, gently holding him in place.
[Wait! Shizuo, before you hit him, I have to say…I kind of agree.]
"Ah Celty! Coming to my rescue like my beautiful, ethereal warrior! I love –"
[Now's not the time!]
"Ok, ok, I'll get us some drinks to cool down, then."
"What did you and Shinra mean by that?" Shizuo asked, glaring pointedly as Shinra squeaked and walked out of sight, he was still seething.
[I mean, it just feels like they aren't really considering your feelings about this at all! Don't get me wrong, but you're not really good at hiding when you don't like something. Your kids are observant, but they're still young, I get that. Though I would think Izaya should have been able to pick up on your mood but it doesn't seem like he's giving it much consideration at all!]
"Fuck, am I really that easy to read?"
[…yes?]
Shizuo let out a rough sound, frustrated. Running a hand through his mane, he pulled out his phone, desperate for a distraction from the odd couple. He let his eyes pause on a treasured name.
hey going on a trip with izaya and the kids. thought id tell you.
A few seconds later, a response had been written.
Good for you, brother. You deserve it. Say hi to all of them, I'm doing well right now.
Shizuo smiled warmly. Kasuka was never close to his kids the way Shizuo secretly wishes he could be, but he knows that Kasuka adores them and is proud of Shizuo for having achieved something he'd once been afraid to even consider. The kids are enamoured by his status, though his current fame didn't hold a candle to what it once had been, his popularity having died down somewhat, not that Kasuka minded. With old fans having grown up and new generations not being as interested in old names, regardless of the fact that he didn't look a day over twenty. A fact to which Hana had very seriously and alarmingly asked Izaya whether he was another adopted sibling. His biggest fans were still Izaya's sisters, who are forever in denial and refuse to believe that Kasuka has a permanent girlfriend who he intends to spend the rest of his life with. Or at least, they probably still were that way, Shizuo wasn't too sure now.
"Here you go, some red wine to get rid of all that stress building up, doctor's recommendation." Shinra set down two glasses onto the table along with one unopened bottle.
"Shouldn't good doctors advise patients away from alcohol?"
"Shizuo, just drink."
Around ten glasses later, Shinra was flat out drunk, begging Celty to get on his lap, to which she begrudgingly obliged, and he was gushing over it, hands travelling dangerously low until Celty slapped them away. Shizuo, on the other hand, was holding out pretty well, if only the furniture would stop moving.
"Oh-oh! Celty doesn't this just remind you of our wedding night! Remember how afterwards you transformed out of your wedding dress – which looked simply marvellous on you by the way, you should really wear it again – and into that sexy lingerie – "
At that point Shinra had received some form of physical attack from Celty and was whining about it. Shizuo could not help but think of how similar everything was for them. The way they acted around each other, around other people.
The only difference now was that they were married.
The ceremony was, surprisingly, unobstructed. Even nice. Really, the most surprising thing was that Shizuo and Izaya had settled down before them. Theirs had been a private affair, just a signing of a document, and a call for those who were close enough to be notified. Shizuo liked that a lot more. Shinra and Celty's, however, had been a pretty typical one, grand and elegant.
Shizuo had been rambling more about the vacation, not really realising that he had been. Partway through, Celty went inside to put away the now-empty bottle, leaving Shinra and Shizuo at the balcony, both red-faced and unstable. Shinra swayed the last glass of wine at him, sloshing a bit of it onto the wooden decking of the balcony.
"I don't see why you have to go along with this if you really don't want to. You were always the type to do things at your own pace." Shinra inquired. The sky had turned dark by now, but Ikebukuro was always reflecting artificial stars to make up for the loss of it above.
Shizuo stared down into his glass, the liquid inside looking a disgusting shade of blood.
"You don't understand family." Shizuo said.
"I'll drink to that!" Shinra chirped, and he toasted to himself and the bliss of never having to contend with an extra party member vying for his beloved's attention.
The rest of the week went by in a flash, the days seeming to blur together. Somehow, Izaya had managed to book all the flights and put together a cohesive timetable of everything in no time, even including details about the hotel stays, location tours and budgeting. His only problem from then on was dealing with three rambunctious and excited children. Izaya kept urging them to finish packing quickly, but such nagging rarely got through to the minds of adrenalin-fuelled whippersnappers. Shizuo was definitely certain that they would and had forgotten something, but he supposes they could just buy more items from wherever was convenient.
Feeling unprepared, he rolled on his spot on the bed and propped his head on his elbow, staring absentmindedly at four sets of unpacked luggages next to a single, sleek black one, His attention was then shifted from the differently sized luggages to a brown-and-blue blur leaping over his head.
Currently, Hana had agreed to play the 'Cat' in the 'Cat-and-Mouse' game; a rare occurrence – she always grumbled something about getting the worst roles in these games. The three of them darting from one piece of furniture to another as Hana tried her best to catch one of them. The rule of the game was simple; if the 'Mice' were caught or landed on the ground, they switched roles with the 'Cat', but they had all played the game for so long that they skilfully manoeuvered their way across the bedroom, aided in part by all the miscellaneous items spread across the floor, yet to be packed. It was a pointless game, but Shizuo hadn't seen them playing anything together in a long time so he didn't do much to stop it. In fact, he neglected his own packing for the sake of watching them bump around, hearing their giggles and shouts. This was much to the chagrin of Izaya, who was futilely attempting to organise the pile of clothes but whose efforts were in vain as the kids would continuously land on a stray stack of clothing, undoing his hard work. Izaya had the last straw when Haru leapt on a specific grey shirt that Shizuo vaguely remembers as having been important, mussing up the clean folds. Izaya had thrown down a shirt he had been folding, informing them that if their baggage was not packed properly within the next hour, there would be no trip.
"And that includes you too, Shizu-chan." He spat, and slammed the door.
The next hour was spent in a tense silence, interspersed with brief gripes and grumbles coming out of Haru. There was no trace of all the bubbly atmosphere from earlier.
Shizuo had finished packing his suitcase quickly enough, dumping a few t-shirts and jeans in, as well as some other materials for more extreme climates. He didn't bother much with 'emergency' medicine or anything like that, since it was unlikely he would be affected by anything, but Izaya always reminded him to bring some along.
"Just in case. You're human too, and as much fun as it would be to take care of a quiet, passive Shizu-chan, I'd rather you start looking out for yourself more so it doesn't bother me."
After he was done dumping some extra dye and other products in, he proceeded to help Itsuki with his folding, who was working more diligently than the girls, and whose tiny and stubby hands not being of much help. He was still not out of his baby-fat phase, something that made him self-conscious because all of his friends had skinnier features. Though Shizuo thinks it makes him cute.
Fiddling a pair of chubby fingers together, Itsuki was the first to break the silence.
"Is Otousan angry at us?"
Four shirts down, more to go.
"Nah, he's just stressed. He doesn't anger easily, and certainly not at you, Suki."
"What crawled up his ass?" Haru tsked at one of her earrings, which got caught against the threading of one of her flashier tops that Shizuo always took offense to. It was a crop-top, and a far too short one at that.
"Language!" Hana reminded, then her shoulders slumped forward. "I guess we were too disruptive…"
Shizuo chuckled. "Oh please, you guys were nothing compared to how we used to be."
At this, the three of them perked up instantly. Shizuo and Izaya rarely brought up their, past escapades, for lack of a better term. If both of them could agree on one thing it is that the previous lives they led was something they would rather keep on the down-low, at least until the children grew older, often only alluding to certain events and such. In retrospect, tell a kid 'no' and they will inevitably seek more. It figured that this would only pique their interest. At every opportunity, they would pester Kasuka, the Twins, Simon, or really, anyone who used to know them in one form or another – which was pretty much everyone – for information. They used to hear the wildest stories, and had probably gathered quite the roster of information. That is, until Izaya got everyone to keep their mouths shut. Shizuo didn't really know how he managed to do it so effectively, but he was relieved nonetheless. If his kids wanted to know about their…fucked up history, he'd rather they hear it from his and Izaya's own mouths instead of anyone from the outside looking in.
"So? What about you guys?" Haru pestered. Hana nodded at the side, her small frame bouncing in anticipation.
"Ah…well. You guys have probably heard it all before. Uprooting signs, destroying the public peace, declarations of murder, knives. Whatever."
"It's so hard to imagine you like that Otouchan! I can't imagine the two of you hating each other to that point."
Sometimes, Shizuo can't imagine it either.
"You know, there's something I've always wanted to ask…" Hana began. "How did you ever manage to forgive Otousan, and…be together?"
Ah, Shizuo blinked, he'd known this question would come, but he'd hope it'd be a few years down the road.
"Ah."
He could always say that he'd answer this question when they were older, but that seemed like the kind of condescending response that Shizuo used to hate. Even though he was guilty of some of it himself.
Shizuo paused his folding. "We…used to hurt each other a lot. Yeah. Because I, I hated him, he messed up a big part of my life, and all I wanted to do was get him out of it. No matter what. He began.
They were all listening intently now, expressions neutral, focused.
Gulping, Shizuo mowed on. He really wished Izaya were here, but has a feeling whatever is happening right now is important, life-changing, even. Probably.
"I'm not saying that what any of what we did was right, or healthy." God how it burned in his memory. How deeply they've marked each other into their skin. "Even if we did hate each other, it wasn't right. It never was."
"But we did, we did so badly. To the point where we didn't realise we were both drowning in something that only we could pull each other out of. Over time, though, I started to realise that…he was a person too. You guys know him, he tries to be strong, invincible – and it's annoying because he's such an ass about it," a small giggle from Haru. "but also because that means he won't trust anyone with himself, you know? I never used to think about it that way, and that was the biggest mistake I made. He made mistakes too, and he's sorry for them, though he doesn't like to say it. But we're all our own person, and we grow beyond our scars."
Shizuo was greeted with silence, each of them taking in the very information they had been yearning to know since they could talk. One time, Izaya was walking past their rooms at night, only to hear them whispering about it.
"I…still don't really get it." Hana admits, looking so confused and lost.
"Yeah, I'm not so good at understanding these things myself, to be honest. But the best way I can put it is that stuff in our past is like a scar on the bark of a small tree." Or on your chest. "It'll never go away, but it won't get bigger, but we can. We keep growing, changing, doing more things and it becomes a smaller part of who we are. But, the things that happened from our past...it brought me here today, and I wouldn't change this for anything."
There were many things Shizuo left out. Complicated details. Some of which he would only speak of with Izaya. Hell, he didn't even bring up the period of time where he was sure Izaya was dead. But that bridge would be crossed when the time came, together.
The rest of the packing was finished in silence. Unlike before, it was comforting.
…
"Oi, you okay?"
"Do I appear that way?" Izaya drawled. Pointedly not looking at Shizuo.
Shizuo shot back quickly, one eyebrow twitching. "You always do."
Izaya sighs and cringes as he takes a sip of his tea, which had gone lukewarm from being left untouched.
Shizuo awkwardly shuffled to the other side of the couch. It seemed that even the years of experience and understanding would never make up for all the awkward moments that were bound to happen between two emotionally stunted individuals.
"Sorry."
Shizuo's eyebrows shot up, if Izaya were not making a conscious effort to face away from Shizuo, he would have surely poked fun at their rapid disappearance into Shizuo's shaggy bangs.
"For earlier. I know, they were having – fun. And it has been a while since we've seen Hana and Suki be so civil towards each other."
Izaya was not the apologetic kind, often preferring to ignore fights where he was in the wrong or make up for them with subtle gestures and generally more compliance than usual. Even after years into their relationship, Shizuo could count the number of times Izaya had apologised sincerely to him on one hand.
Two.
The first time as when he finally admitted he was in love with Shizuo.
The second, when they had a big fight. Not the rampaging kind, which they were both well accustomed to. It was the silent, simmering kind, the emotionally exhausting ones that festered and smouldered. Shizuo hardly remembers the catalyst to that event, it was more of a build-up of everything wrong with both of them that had combusted into one giant fire that engulfed them whole.
Shizuo didn't see Izaya for two whole, distressing months.
Then one day, Izaya was at his door, looking miserable and so vulnerable. The first word to escape the barrier of his lips and break down the wall between them was a simple:
"Sorry."
They had stayed wrapped up against each other for the whole night.
A month later, they were married.
Shizuo glanced away.
"S'alright. I mean, yeah, they were being loud and distracting. And we only have one more day left, but they're still young, you know? I love that about them, that they can still be this way."
"Of course you do." Izaya rolled his eyes and scoffed. More silence, and then a sigh. There was a gentle slant to Izaya's eyebrows, a stark contrast to his sharp features. He looked almost wistful, sentimental.
"They really do remind me of Mairu and Kururi." There was something so delicately gentle about the way he smiled at the image. "They don't listen to me." He rarely talked about them - about growing up. Shizuo loved recalling stories about Kasuka, even if most of them involved them simply talking about nothing in particular, usually at hospitals. Izaya claimed it was boring, a waste of his time, but he never stopped Shizuo from rambling once he started.
Izaya had curled into a foetal position, legs tucked against his bodice, and took another sip from his tea. Shizuo chuckled, Izaya looked like a young child like this.
"Yeah, wonder where they get it from."
Izaya simply hummed in response. Shizuo spread his arms open and beckoned to Izaya. He took the invitation to put his cup down and crawl to Shizuo's end of the couch and snuggle up against him.
"Mhmm, isn't it wonderful?"
The tea was left untouched for the rest of the day.
SO, I've had this idea in my head for a while. Hope you enjoy, it's likely going to be a part of a bigger series. And regarding the naming system for Shizuo and Izaya, I kind of find it weird to use this Japanese words in the story but I'll use it for the sake of keeping their origins in Japan, though I would like to hear opinions about it, because I would not mind changing them to more American/English counterparts.
Otousan/Otouchan– The word for father is お父さん (otousan) which is used when addressing one's father. I used (otouchan) for Shizuo because I just think that with Izaya referring to Shizuo as Shizu-chan all the time, their kids picked it up to differentiate the two of them.
Also, in case it's confusing, with nicknames like 'Hana-na-chan', no, that wasn't a typo lol. Izaya is just an ass and thought it sounded like 'banana-chan', it stuck. And Itsuki calls Haru "Ha-chi" which is supposed to mean "は一" as in 'Ha number one' and Hana "はに" as in 'Ha number two'. Hana's nickname annoys her 1) because it's from Itsuki and 2) because it makes her sound like 'older brother'.
Also, the "stuff in your past" is actually a quote from Vsauce. It was a very poignant quote to me, and you should all go watch Vsauce if you haven't, it's something else.
Anyway, hope this will be the longest Author's Note. lol.