you are might for all times

by julia bebop

Shuchi becomes aware of the most valuable thing in the world. life. He was given the outlook of early cancer and finds a new friend in the process.

You are mines for all time
By Julia MacGergor

The word is Cancer. I stare at the stark white walls of my hospital room. I'm waiting for them to take me to the Operating Room. Me, a rock star. Shuichi Shindou, the lead singer of Bad Luck has stomach cancer.

It was four months of tests, needles and machines that put me in here. No, let me start from the very beginning. I was in the j-pop, boy band named 'Bad Luck'. I started the group with Hiroshi. He was my best friend. I need my best friends now. We just hit it big with the single, 'You are mines for all time."

The single flew up to the five spot in a matter of weeks. I was riding high on the feeling of being one of the best. Ryuichi, Suguru and myself were going to a little hole in the wall for a party. By party were having a few drinks of pop. I don't like to drink booze. Then, having a mound of cheap, but good food.

It seemed like Yuki was going to the same dive. I can't stand being in the same room with him at the same time. But, he on the other hand was attractive to me. Yes, we are the best-kept secret in of all Japan. He is a nice guy when he wants to be. We had the normal flings. He is demanding as a toothache. Yet, he is so loving and kind that I can't say no.

I ignored him as I ordered some sushi. Suguru smiled as he started to flirt with the waitress. He said, "Hey. You got nice eyes, babe!"

He smiled in his goofy grin. He placed his right underneath his chin. Drumming with his first two fingers, Suguru felt pleased with himself. The waitress laughed one of those giggling schoolgirl laughs. Ryuichi was quietly mulling over what kind of rice he wanted as he glanced at the menu card. The card sat on the table between Ryuichi and me.

The waitress took our order. Still giggling, she left.

As we waited for our meal, Suguru glanced around the room to check out the place. He said, "I'm glad that's over. I want to take a break!"

"Why?" I asked, a little peeved.

"I want to relax and get some rest," Suguru shrugged.

"Baka-san. You want to chase the girls!" I groaned. I slapped the table, not hard. Just hard even enough to get his attention.

"So, what's wrong with that!" Suguru huffed. He knew I was on to him and his flirtations. He turned to glare at me.

"Nothing!" I sighed. I tucked my hand underneath my chin. Then, I rolled my eyes at him.
Then, Suguru spotted Yuki at another table. He got kind of excited at the idea of Yuki dining at the same place as we were. He hoped that Yuki would come over for an on the spot interview. He said, "Hey, Shuichi. . .look!"

"At what?" I asked. I took the water glass that was on the table. Raising it to my mouth, I took a long drag.

"That!" Suguru said in a staged loud whisper. Then, he carefully pointed with his little finger at Yuki sitting about two tables away.

Placing the glass back on the table, I shifted my eyes to see him. 'Oh my God,' I thought as I winced. There he was. He was dressed tastefully in a dark blue suit. He didn't know that I was waiting for food about two tables away.

"Well?" Suguru asked. He peered at me with puzzled, but hopeful eyes.

"Not tonight. For once, I'm taking your hint. I'm going to chill out!" I huffed a little coldly.
Then, the food finally came. It took two waitresses with two large serving platters. I was starved to say the least. Suguru thanked the waitress. Ryuichi watched as the two placed the plates in front of him.

We didn't speak for a while. The food was great. Then, the feeling of dread hit me. Or at least tapped me on the shoulder. I poised with a large mount of food stuck to my chopsticks. I was going to shove it in my mouth and enjoy. I looked up at Yuki staring back at me. "Little baby boy is getting his din-din?" Yuki sneered.

That did it. I lost my appetite. Dropping the sticks on to the mount of food, I groaned, "Hiya, Yuki-san!"

The other two mumbled their greetings between bites of food.

I was going to pleasant at this early part of the game. If not, I wouldn't put it pass Yuki to run a full blow-by-blow account of our last meeting. He was teaching me things I know that my mum and dad would throw me out, no questions asked. I smiled a little tense. I said, "How is everything at the mag?"

Yuki smiled a little icy. He said as he patted on my shoulder, "The mag is fine!"

"Oh, that's nice," I sighed, feeling a little unconformable. I was starved. It doesn't take long for my stomach to tell me that I felt like it was being blocked off from food.

"I have to see about getting an advanced copy of your latest song!" Yuki said, sounding business like.

"I'll asked one of the P/R man to send you a copy," Suguru said as he placed a bowl full of spicy fish on his plate.

The smell was tempting. I asked what it was. Suguru told me that it was a new white fish stuff that it was like melting fire. I had something that was sweet, honeyed chestnuts with onion and nori in a small plate. He loves things that are sweet. His fav was and is melon. I was going to do the school aged trade off. A little of what he had for a little I had.

"You must be," Yuki said. Then, he bent down to whisper something dirty in my ear. Fate had another thing in store. Yuki's pager went off. He said with a dramatic sigh, "I must be going. My boss isn't willing for me to talk at this time. Shitsureishimashita!"

Then, he backed away for a minute. He bowed for a second. Turning, he teased me by winking at me.

I went back to my food. I grabbed my chopsticks. They were still resting on my plate. Suguru scoped up the spicy, white fish and placed it on my plate. I did the same with the chestnuts mix. I took a small piece of white fish between my chopsticks. Glanced over my shoulder to see where in the name of the devil, Yuki flew off to. He was nowhere to be seen. I placed tips of the chopsticks in my mouth. I felt my lips tingle for a second. Then, licking the fish off my sticks, I felt it. "Oh," I thought to myself. "It's not that hot."

Boy was I wrong! It was feeling an explosion in my mouth. The spices and chilies started up like a large flare. They fanned out until the back of my throat burned. I winced as tears formed in my eyes. I pulled out my chopstick from my lips. I started to sallow, trying to avoid the heat. I gasped, half coughed, "Hitoshizuku!"

"Uh?" Ryuichi gaped. He saw my face as it twisted and my lips twitched.
"Water, nanitozo," I whispered hoarsely. Then, I pointed to my water glass, which was sitting on the table.

Ryuichi noticed that I needed the water to stop the fire in my mouth. Leading forward he grabbed it, spilling a little, quickly he gave it to me. I took in a heartbeat. I raised it to my lips. I took a long drag before I said, "Arigatougozaimasu, Ryuichi-san!"

"Was that hot?" Suguru asked. He blinked out of curiosity. He wondered if I was faking or not.

"No," I whispered. I placed the glass on the table. I sniffed loudly as left hand went up to clean off the tears from him eyes. "I wasn't expecting the spice to attack me. That's all!"
Suguru reluctantly looked his plate. He was going to take a small bite and see if he could stand the heat.

I finished a little more with my water glass in my hand. I was going to do it slowly.

After the dinner, we all went clubbing. We danced with a couple of girls who were trying to get us tell them we were rock stars. I kept my mouth shut. I loved Yuki and didn't need to show it at this time.

I looked at my watch. "Yipe!" I thought. It was going on eleven. My dad was going to kill me if I didn't show up at the door at mid-night. I went on a carefully panicked search for Suguru and Ryuichi. Suguru found me as he went to the bar. He said he was thirsty. I ordered him to get one drink while I got Ryuichi.

It didn't take me that long to find him. He ran into Hiro. The two were dancing and talking. I saw the girls hovering all around the two. I don't mind personally a few girls being excited about me or the other two. I just care if and when I get into a frenzied throng of girls who are going to hug me to death. "HEY!" I shouted.

The music was the usual din of techno. There was no response from either Hiro or Ryuichi. I needed to scream. "HEY!" I shouted for a second time.

Still nothing. I reverted into the punching mode. I rolled up my right hand into a fist. Gently I socked Ryuichi the arm. There was no response. I tired a little harder. He glanced at me. I raised my arm and pointed to my watch. He knew that my father was a tight fisted when it came to time. He shouted, "WHY DON'T YOU GO HOME. I WANT TO STAY!"

"NO WAY!" I shouted back. I quickly lunched forward to grab Ryuichi by the shoulder.

A couple of the girls noticed me in a flash. They looked at each other, then me. "OH, MY GOD!" one of them shouted. "IT'S SHUICHI SHINDOU!"

"HI!" I gulped loudly. My face turned to a silly boy with a goofy grin. I thought to myself, "If I don't leave soon. Then, I'm history in more ways than one!"

The girls were lunging at me with starry-eyed looks. They were goofier in their appearance than me. Both were ringing hands in hungry anticipation. Blindly I grabbed Ryuichi by the shoulder. Pulling him, I screamed, "SORRY LADIES! WE HAVE TO GO!"

"WHAT?" Ryuichi screamed to match my sudden outburst.

"LISTEN. DAD IS GOING TO KILL ME IF I'M NOT THERE AT MID-NIGHT!" I shouted as I pulled Ryuichi along the dance floor.

Then, what really made things worst were the two girls who saw me, starting to scream. My heart was beating at lighting speed. Ryuichi saw the starved fan look as he saw a few more girls who recognized me. "I. . .I. . ." he gasped.

"LET'S GO!" I screamed. With a tight jerk, Ryuichi and myself went off the dance floor and hit the walkway. We weaved ourselves through the busy crowd who was waiting get on the dance floor. I finally spotted Suguru at the bar. He was finishing off his drink. He said loudly, "YOU FOUND HIM?"

I nodded quickly.

Then, the storm broke. "WHERE IS HE?" three girls started to scream from the back.

"Oh, this is not good!" I thought.

"WHAT'S GOING ON?" Suguru asked in a loud scream.

"GIRLS. THEY'VE SPOTTED ME!" I shouted back.

"WE WANT SHUICHI!" The three girls chanted loudly.

"LET'S OUT OF HERE!" I shouted at the two.

"WELL THAT'S A POP STAR'S LIFE!" Suguru shouted.

Suguru, Ryuichi and myself weaved for another five minute, which seemed like five years. Reaching the front door seemed to be an Olympic event. I was in total joy when we ran out the door. There was a crowd which forming in the club by the over excited fans.

I must have of ran for five, ten minutes. I saw the bus stop that the bus I go to school on. I told the others I would wait. The one for home would be there shortly. I was board one day at study hall and read the timetable for the bus. It maybe the only thing I can use from my studies. Suguru told me that he would be over my house soon. Then, we said our goodbyes and the two of them walked up the street.

Taking the bus was no problem. I took the first set in an empty bus. I looked at my watch. Eleven-twnety four blinked up at me. In a few minutes I'll be at home and be in my bed without bloodshed.

My stomach was fine when as I took my bath and changed my clothes. Climbing into bed I was feeling whipped. Closing my eyes, I hit the pillow without a sound. I wanted to dream about really hitting big. I don't remember another thing as I drifted to my dream world.
It was about two or three in the morning when I was jolted out of my sleep. It was nasty, awful feeling in the pit of my stomach. When I sat up finally after a minute of getting my bearings straight, I felt a knife like agony in my belly shooting up to my chest. I thought I was too young for a heart attack. I didn't want to wake up my mom and dad, but I had too. I slowly swung my feet out their warm nest underneath the sheets. The pain grew in its intendancy.
My mom and dad were sleeping when I got to their door. I pounded on the door with an opened palm. I whined, "Mommy. Daddy!"
There was no response. I repeated the same cry, but louder.
My father being a light sleeper woke up. He murmured words to mom. Then, I heard sounds of him getting out of bed. Sliding the bedroom door, he glared at him. "What's wrong?" he grumbled.
"Ow!" was the last word I uttered before falling to the floor.
At first my dad believed that I was faking. I proved him wrong. I felt the pain again and I screamed.

Going to the hospital was a blur. I barely remembered my dad gently picking me up and carrying to the car. The trip was just flashes of light as I lay in the back. Mom covered me up with a green and brown blanket before we left. I was now crying as dad sped along to the hospital.
I saw a sign above my head stating that we arrived. My dad opened his car door and ran to the entranceway. My mom told me as she turned her head towards me in the back that I was going to be O.K.
"Yea, mommy," I groaned through the tears.
"How bad is the pain, honey?" she asked.
"MOMMY!" I screamed. The pain was making my stomach tense up. Then, I groaned for a second time.
We both heard noises of two people with my dad. There was a second noise, that being a stretcher. "My son is in the back," my dad said.
"O.K." a man's voice said.
I saw my dad opening the back door near my feet. A man wearing a white and blue scrub top was leaning in. He said, "Can you move at all?"
"No!" I gasped. Then, the pain hit me again. "MOMMY!"
I felt the man grab at my legs and pulling me towards him. Then, I heard the other door opened slowly. My head rolled back onto a pair of hands. I looked up at another man wearing the same outfit. He said, "I'll push him out . . .while you pull."
"O.K." the first man said. "On the count of three. One. . .two. . .three!"
I cried out for third or fourth time. They tried to be gentle with me. I was on a stretcher. I felt the straps going across my body. I wanted to protest. The sheer terror of a hospital always scares the crap out of me. The next thing I knew I was being wheeled into the entrance way and into the E/R.
Another blurred period. I saw flashes of halls and doors. I didn't speak. Then, I saw a curtained off area. I imaged it was an examining room. Hearing the curtain being pulled back, I was wheeled pass it. I saw a table with two or three people standing around it. They were nurses and orderlies. I felt the straps coming off. Then, I was shifted like a bag of fine silk on to the table. I was like a virgin waiting to be scarified to a god.
A nurse with a clipboard came up to me. She asked gently, "What is your name and what's wrong?"
I shifted my eyes to look at her. She smiled trying to ease my pain. "My name is. . ." I started to say, before another attack struck. I let out a shout.
The nurse said soothingly," Calm down. Does it hurt, really bad?"
"Oh, god!" I gasped. "My stomach!"
"Let me see!" another nurse said. She walked up to table. Placing a hand on my stomach. At first, she pressed around my stomach. It tickled like crazy. When I was a little kid, was tickled in that spot by my sister when she wanted me to do something as a form of torturer. Then, she hit the sore spot. I sat up in a flash. The pain was growing. I wanted to lash out at anyone in the room. The nurse who was touching me, jerked back. She calm, but a little shaken. "Listen," she said.
The pain did a number on me. It started to twitch. It wasn't good. While I sat up, grabbed at my stomach. It felt like I was going into convulsions. The nurses and now a doctor came up to the table. I wasn't breathing normally. I felt hands grabbing at me, pulling me down. Then, I started to move away from them. I shoved my arms and legs about. I was acting wild. They were not going to let me go as they held me down. The doctor said calmly, "Relax."
I saw a mask go over my mouth and nose. A hand was now on my chin. The mask didn't move. I shouted a few choice swear words at them. What ever they were pumping me, made me feel spaced out. I watched as the nurses and doctor hovered around me. It was like a séance from a really bad video. I tried to keep my eyes opened. Then, I took another breath. I felt tired. I was going to sleep. Things were growing dark for me. If I closed my eyes for a minute, maybe I can stay awake for the next minute.

My mum and dad were watching all weather station on the TV, in the waiting room. They were hoping for some good news. My dad looked at the clock. It was going on mid-night. My mum was nodding off. She was worried and my dad was troubled. They had heard about raves and the many different drugs that kids my age took as a high for those long nights.
Then, a nurse came over to speak to my parents. She said, "Mister Shindou!"
My dad was brought to earth. He glanced over to her as he said, "Yes?"
"There is a Doctor Lenix wants to have a word with you!"
"Who?" my dad asked. He would have thought of a Japanese doctor was going to look at name, not an American one.
"He's a cancer specialist. He is over here on a hospital trade. We. . ." the nurse said.
"What! I don't want to have a lousy American doctor looking over my kid!" my dad was now ticked. He stood up to point a finger at the nurse.
"No. He is the best. We have a sister hospital in the states. He wanted to come here after his internship. If you like, he can come here!" the nurse said as she tried to smooth over a really rough patch. She was trying to be censer. My dad nodded, begrudgingly. Then, the nurse turned to leave.
My mom narrowed her eyes. She was a little mad at her spouse. She asked, "How did you know that the doctor was an American. . .and how dare you knock someone else race."
"Moushikaneru," my dad sighed. "I just wanted a doctor who I know. I haven't been to hospital or doctors in years. I don't like going. I'm not handing over to just any one."
"That's O.K. I understand. That's our son and he's a handful. You are just looking out for Shuichi's interests."
"Mister Shindou?" a voice deep American voice asked.
My dad looked up at a figure that was walking towards him and my mom. The man who was now standing in front of my mum and dad was a sight. He was dressed like any doctor. Yet, he was different. He looked Asian with natural red hair. There was a sight look of western features. The man said, "I'm Doctor Tetusa Lenix!"
My dad said, "Oh."
He was surprised. He asked, "You are from America?"
"Yes," Doctor Lenix said. He held out his hand. He and my dad exchanged a weak handshake.
"How is our boy?" my mom asked. She looked worried.
"We are running a few tests in the morning. He is sedated and we are keeping him over night. We need to perform an ultrasound. Then, later we will run a scope down to his stomach!"
"Why?" my dad asked. He didn't like the sound of the tests.
"He could have a number of things. We are making sure after the display that our son had preformed," Doctor Lenix said in a matter a fact tone.
Doctor Lenix's statement sent wheels in both of my parents' heads a-turning. They both asked in unison, "What did he do?"
"It looked like he was given a powerful pill, like the ones that are handed out in a rave. Do you know what a rave is, Mister Shindou?"
"What?" my dad asked. Now he was upset with me.
"No. If he didn't take it, someone could have slipped it in a drink or a bit of food, like candy bar."
"Yes, dear. . ." my mom said softly. She was on the doctor's side. "I have heard about stories. Boys in the same age as Shuichi being drugged for kicks by their so called friends."
"What was he doing?" my dad asked. His heart was in a wipe out tide of fear and anger.
"He was complaining about cramping in his stomach. His breathing was short. Then, when he was being examined, he lashed out."
My dad knew that wasn't me in the most normal of situations. Yea, I threw a punch once in a while. I was acting like a wild cat. He asked, "Is it mind warping?"
"In some cases. In rare cases, after first use. . .a people can have instant death as a result from a heart attack."
My mom felt like she was going to scream. My dad was going to be on a manhunt for years if it was really drugs. The doctor said, "It could be poison either be food or the real thing."
My dad felt his anger boiling. He snapped softly, "For kicks! Blasted fools."
He hit his leg with a fist.
Fighting back the pain in her heart, my mom asked," Can we see Shuichi?"
"Just a minute or two. He wouldn't what's going on!" Doctor Lenix said.
"Why?"
"If he wakes up. . .it might aggravate the pain!"

In a hospital room, which I don't remember, I slept. I had an IV line taped to my left arm. There were a couple of monitors gently beeping. I breathed at a more comfortable rate through an oxygen mask over my nose and mouth. I was dreaming in black. No dreams could come. I usual dreamed about school, the band and mostly Yuki. My dreams of everything outside the ones with Yuki were boring. Yuki was sweet and tender in my dreams.
My dad and mom entered my room. I was their son, yet were they ready for the shock of their lives. "Oh, my baby!" my mom gasped.
"Shh!" my dad hushed. He tried to be a comfort his wife. His heart was bottoming out as well.
My mom and dad came up to my bed. The dim light cast a gray light over my sweat, fatigued face. My mom was standing at my bedside. She reached over to touch my hand. I must have twitched when I felt her fingers.
"My son, I swear I will find out who has hurt you!" my dad uttered as his anger streamed.
"You never ask to be hurt like this," my mom sobbed softly.

The next day a nurse awakened me. I wasn't hungry. It must of have been the stuff in the IV bag. The nurse checked out my vitals. She smiled when she gently asked, "You feel any better?"
"A little," I sighed. I pushed my head back on the pillows. Man, I still felt sleepy. I tired to piece things from the previous night in my head. Nothing but blurred images floated in my memory. Then, I wondered out loud, "What are they going to do to me?"
The nurse looked at me for a minute. She fished out a mini penlight. She flipped it on. "Hold your head still!" she said.
I did what was told to do. The light made my eyes wince. Then, I heard the nurse say, "They are going to place a scope down your throat. They are going to take pictures of you stomach. Doctor Lenix ruled out any sort of drug interaction. He's going for something in your upper GI!"
"What?" my mind yelped. Then, I started to back away from the nurse. I didn't get far. The bed was holding me back. "Hey. I'm all in for being healthy. Are you really allowed to do that?" I yipped.
"Yes. Your father had signed papers for the scope. Beside that, you wouldn't feel a thing," the nurse smiled. She was trying her best to calm me down.
"And how are they going to do that?" I tried my best to glare at the nurse with my heart beating like a drum machine.
"They will give you a shot to put you to sleep. Then, they will spray your mouth and throat. After that you will have a tube placed inside you mouth!"
I screamed and panicked. It's a natural reaction to things that hurt in my opinion. The nurse placed a hand on my shoulder. She looked at me with gentle brown eyes. "Hey. . .hey. It's O.K. You will be sleeping. If you like, I'll have the doctor, come over to talk."
"Why me?" I whimpered.
"Things look scary, but in truth. They are not. I had to have my gall bladder out and I was terrified!" the nurse smiled.
"You!" I asked. My worries were still growing. Yet, this nurse was very gentle with her words. I was starting to calm down. She was like my mom when I was sacred. My mom was a comfort to me when things look bad. "You had an operation?"
"Yea. I was young and had bad attacks. I went to the hospital have a really bad one. The staff was so good to me. When I saw the needle for the shot, a nurse held my hand calmly. She spoke softly until it was over."
I wondered if there going to be people like that for me. I asked, "What happened after that?"
"When I woke up," the nurse smiled "I was sick to my stomach. But, I had a good nurse who looked after me!"
I wondered if there were people like that for me. Sure, I had friends and family who were cool. "Hmm!" I thought.
My family was very supportive to me when times got tough. Hiroshi was the best friend a guy could have. And for the coolest second band member Surguru was in my book. What could happen if they found out I was faking or on drugs. Would they leave? Then, Yuki. Oh, my heart skipped a beat. It hurt. Biting my lower lip, I uttered, "I can have people like that. Who can help me!"
My mind was dreaming when I'm awake as I think of Yuki. What would he do if he found I was really stoned? Yea, he drinks and smokes. Would he be upset if I was hitting on drugs for a high?
The nurse looked at me. She asked, "You want to see the doctor."
"No," I gasped. I felt a tear rolling down my face. "I want to be alone for a little bit!"
The nurse patted me on the shoulder. She said softly, "I'll be back."
Then, she turned to grab her folder. In a minute, she was gone.

I have must of cried for years. Instead it was a release, which lasted only for ten minutes. I saw a phone sitting on the nightstand. Sitting up, I reached over for the receiver. Remembering Yuki's cel and personal phone number, I took the receiver off the cradle. I was thinking of the words to say to Yuki. I did babble like a child with a new toy. The right words were hard to choose from when it came to talking to him.
At Yuki's flat, he was still in bed. He had a thing of sleeping in late. It had to do with the creative juices. He heard the phone ringing on the stand. Grunting, he pulled himself up to sitting pose. He blindly tried to figure out what was making that noise. Then, he swiveled his head, shoulders and arms in the general area of the nightstand. "Oh, man!" he moaned.
He reached over, nearly falling out of his warm bed. "Damn!" he yipped.
He hung somewhat upside down with one arm resting on the nightstand. He reached over carefully to the phone. His fingers fumbled around the cord. He knew that the machine was going to pick up my message on the seventh ring. There were only four rings left. His fingers pulled at the cord until the phone was in reach. He mumbled, "I hope this a good reason for calling me at this hour!"
I finally heard the noises of the phone being answered by Yuki and not his machine. "Yea, moshimoshi!" he growled.
"Moshimoshi!" I gasped. "Great," I thought. "He is a bear when he gets up after this phone call."
"Who is this?" he growled softly.
"It's me, Shuichi!" I tried to sound happy and carefree.
"Oh. What do you want, genki?"
Even through he voiced his mood as one of anger, he still has a soft heart. He calls me genki when he tries to be less moody.
I managed to say, "Nothing!"
Yuki's tolerance for me was shrinking like crazy. "You baka-san! How dare you call me in early the morning!"
"Wait! Wait!" I quickly gasped. Hearing Yuki attempting to hang up the phone made me to panic again. "Please listen to me."
A tear rolled down my cheek.
"Why?" he was getting annoyed with me.
"I'm at the hospital. I'm having testing done!"
Yuki's mind was buzzing. The only thing he could think was an illness I had. He said as he slowly over his body, "You don't have . . ."
I cut him to quick. "No. I don't. I haven't been seeing other men. I want you and only you. I had a bad attack of stomach cramps and I was rushed over to here. The doctors want to run some tests on me. They ran blood tests and they were negative."
Yuki was stunned a little. He spoke softly, "It maybe something you ate."
I believed that he didn't have a cold heart after all. "Yea," I agreed, hoping that he was right.
"Are you sure about testing and stuff like that?"
"Yes."
"I'm not happy to jolted out my sleep. Yet, you have a problem."
"Listen," I was the one getting testy. It was like we were switching feelings. I remember the pain. I hoped that Yuki would feel that pain like I did. "It felt like someone taking a knife to my stomach. I don't want to feel that pain again."
The tears were coming at quickened pace. Yuki heard my sobbing on the other end. He tried to comfort me. He said gently, "Hey, calm down. I'm sorry. I just a little upset."
"Upset. Damn you," I hissed through my tears. "You monster, you were harsh to me!"
"I'm not happy with you either."
"Good. I don't want to see you hating me."
"Why? I needed an outlet for my feelings. You seemed to be the closed and willing to be a dumping ground." It sounded like he was making up more excuses for being such a bully!
"I'm just a kid. I'm young and can have my feelings bruised."
"Oh, my angel!" Yuki sounded sugary. It was his ploy to calm me down.
"Don't!" I yipped back. Then, I rolled up my right fist. I punched my bed. "I don't want your kids of lofty mouth. Hiro is a lot kinder and gentle than you!"
"You fool. You and him got into a fight just not that long ago."
"Shuichi!" a voice spoke up over my dissuasion with Yuki.
"What?" I griped.
"I'm Doctor Lenix," the voice said as a hand shot front of my face.
"Idiot!" I thought. Then, I said a little ticked off, "Let me get off the phone."
"O.K." Doctor Lenix spoke, trying to ease my tension. He left the room for a minute.
"I have to go. Shikkei, you scum!" I reached over to slam the receiver down. I felt stabbing. The pain was starting up again. I held my stomach as I cried out, "DOKUTORU!"
Doctor Lenix entered the room in a breath. He glanced at me. He asked in both a firm, but caring tone of voice, "Is it your stomach?"
"Yea!" I nodded.
While Doctor Lenix questioned me, Yuki was sitting on his bed with the telephone receiver in his one hand. He was a little stunned. It was really his first time that he heard my anger at full power. He reached up blindly to scratch his head with the other hand.

Hiro came over after he heard from my big-mouthed sister about my hospital stay. He had to day in the waiting room outside of the ward I was in. He skipped study hall to see me. It wasn't like him to cut class.
He watched any signs of me, either going in or out of the o/r. I had my testing done before breakfast. The anesthesiologist gave me a shot, which made me feel spaced out. In my relaxed state, I tried to move my hands. All I got was a few mere twitches from my fingertips. I fell asleep soon after.
The testing took about an hour. They took a tiny sample of my stomach lining. Then, they took pictures of my stomach.
I was still asleep when they brought me back to my room. Hiro saw the two orderlies wheeling me back to my room. He was patient.
Hiro stood at my opened door way. He heard the noises of them putting my back to bed. Hiro glanced at me, as I lay unconscious. He was shocked at the IV taped to my arm and a pair of oxygen tubes in my nose. Hiro was studying to be a doctor. This was just a small taste of what lay ahead for him.
A nurse came up to him. She saw him standing at the doorway. She asked, "Is there a problem. Are you going to see him?"
"Yea!" Hiro nodded grimly.
"Are you a friend or a family member?"
"Just a friend. I go to school. . .the same school as he does!" Hiro said. Then, he swallowed hard.
The nurse told him, Hiro was allowed to visit for only a five-minute period. I wasn't looking good after the scope.
Hiro walked into the room. The room was dimly lit. I was sleeping. Hiro came close. He smelt the sting of the rubbing alcohol in the room. He breathed a little. I murmured in my sleep, "No. Don't take him away."
"Shiuchi!" Hiro whispered loudly.
"Yuki? Where did you go?"
"Hey buddy?" he asked gently.
"Please. . .don't go, Hiro!"
It was the first time, Hiro felt like he was totally in the dark. I was trying to move my hands. I cried out in a weak voice, "I'm scared!"
Hiro was now standing at my bedside. He saw my hand trying to raise itself off the bed. He leaned forward. Taking my hand, he said, "I'm here."
I let out a long moan. Hiro was now holding my hand tenderly. He said reassuringly, "It's O.K. I'll be here for you!"
"Hiro?" I questioned the voice in the room.
"Yea. It's me," he whispered.
My fingers slowly gripped Hiro's hand. I repeated, "Hiro!"
"You rest!" he said.
I must of have listened him. I drifted back to sleep.

I slept for a couple of hours. When I woke, Yuki and Sugaru were sitting be my bedside. I was a little sore. I didn't move as I said, "What are you doing here!"
"You are!" Yuki sighed. He was in a tide of confused feelings. He talked to my father while I slept. Then, Doctor Lenix explained to both Yuki and my parents about the early findings.
"Yea," I sighed. I was swimming in my own sea of painkillers and terror.
Yuki stood up. He leaned forward to look at me. Not to glare down at me when he was upset. No, this was something so sweet and tender that I believed that he had been drinking a little before coming to see me. He spoke in French words of deep love. "I regretter, I se vexer de s'avancer vous. I amour vous!"
All I could say was, "Oh, we are getting special, aren't we!"
"Baka!" he snapped. Then, he smiled.
"I'm going now. I have to do something," Sugaru said. He could see that we were both on a touchy subject. He wanted to stay; yet he felt like a peeping tom in the middle of two lovers as they tried to make up for their broken hearts.
"Little wimp!" both Yuki and me said.
"Well," Sugaru snipped coldly when he stood up slowly. "moushikaneru! If you two want to play lovebirds. Then, I didn't see a thing!"
He walked over to the foot of the bed. He glanced over to me. He was a little surprised at the colour on my face. He said, "Are you sure that you are O.K.?"
"Yea. It must have been the spices from last night," I said.
"Aright. See ya!" Sugaru sighed. He saw through my bravery. In a minute he was gone.
"Can we start on a better note?" Yuki asked. He leaned forward to stroke my cheek. His fingers fleet warm and soft. He probably used hand cream to keep his hands smooth. He was a real class act.
I let out a small sigh, wishing I were gone, away from this place. School was ten times better than this. It wasn't that bad if a person could lie around. I was used to goofing off a little. Yet, my stomach went through torture.
"My little genki. Are you getting better?" he asked. His eyes were shining in beauty.
I could see right through my lover's cloak. He wanted to hold and kiss me until I was thoroughly turned on. He also had a cornered gaze. He didn't want me to get sick. "You have any idea what really happened after me and the guys left!" I said.
"No."
"I went clubbing. I had fun with the guys. Some girls spotted us. It was like a séance from that movie you rented a while ago."
"What movie was that?" Yuki asked. He reached over to take my hand into his.
"About four guys . . .think English! They were going from one place to another. It was in black and white!" I forced a smile.
"Oh, A Hard Day's night," he nodded. "The group was the Beatles!"
"Hmm. The Beatles. . .cool name!" my head leaned a little on the pillow. I felt a wave of warmth covering me. I hoped it was love and not lust.
"Did you like it?"
"What? The movie or the clubbing?"
"The clubbing."
"No. I ran home. Then, I took a shower and went to bed."
"Oh," Yuki smiled. He wetted his lips with the tip of tongue.
I was going to put a stop to that. I could see it coming. He was asking for a long time, me and my body for a sleepover. I wasn't going to tell my mother that I was in love with a guy. Yuki was the only doorway for my chance of stardom. I said a little coldly, "Listen. I was deadbeat. I woke up in pain. My stomach was being squeezed to pieces."
Yuki felt my hand tense up. His eyes blinked as he gently cooed, "Hey. It's fine. I'll be here for you. Whatever you have, I'll be here to help you!"
"I'd," I uttered. I brushed the pillow with my cheek. It was hard talking about my body to him. It like I was his toy to play with and nobodies else.
"The pain must of frightened you!" Yuki said. He bent down to be at eye level with me. His eyes were now kind.
"Yes," I sighed, I rolled over to face Yuki. Yuki raised both of our hands a little. I sighed, "I'm still scared. It's like something bad is coming!"
My eyes were tearing up. Yuki stroked my hand with his fingers. He knew my pain was too much to bear. There was a knock on the door. Yuki raised his head to see Doctor Lenix standing in the doorway. There was an extremely serious look on the doctor's face. Yuki stood up slowly. He asked, "Doctor, you want me to leave the room? I can get his mother and father for a family meeting?"
"I think that's wise choice. Shuichi, I want you to be prepared for the worst," Doctor Lenix said as he entered the room.
"The worst?" I questioned him. I felt my stomach flopping inside.
"Yes," Doctor Lenix nodded. He walked over to my bed. His eyes were saddened by the outcome of my test results.
Yuki replaced my hand on the bed. Then, he bowed, excusing himself from the room. He said, "If you wanna talk Shuichi, I'll be outside."
"Yea," I sighed. I felt a tear roll down my face.
Yuki walked around the bed. He glanced at me for a minute. I forced a weak smile at him. He nodded before leaving.
My parents were called in. The door was closed.

"Cancer!" I chocked back the word in my mouth. The world had stopped spinning for a minute. My heart broke like so much glass around my soul that I swore I was going to cry.
"Yes. The earliest of stages. You must of have a really touchy stomach to gave set it off like that!" Doctor Lenix said.
"Cancer!" my father repeated the word. He and mom sat on my left of the bed.
"Is Shuichi too young to have that form of cancer?" my mom asked.
"In some cases. . .in others it could be a flaw in the genetic makeup. I'm sorry to tell you this news. Yet, the earliest of stages are reasonably curable and can be in remission for years before it starts up again," Doctor Lenix said.
"What will happen to me, doc?" my voice quavered a little.
"We will give you high doses of Chemotherapy to halt the growth. Then, there is a series of radiation treatments to help with the halt. You will become quite ill. It is very costly side effect for both your body and mind. If all possible, the last leg of the treatment is an operation which you will be staying here for four to six weeks."
"Are the tests you had done? Were they positive?" my dad asked.
"We took enough for two separate tests. They were positive for the cancer."
"Why do you want him at the hospital for the treatments?" My mom asked. She was a very clear housekeeper.
"The reason why we want you to stay here is the rate of infection is higher at your home. It is higher with common contact. Shuichi's immune system will be nearly wiped out during the treatments. If you like there is off ground housing near here with round clock care."
"What will happen to my immune system?" I asked out of my own wondering heart.
"Your system will be nearly distorted by the medicine that used to fight off the cancer. You will experience weight and hair loss, constant nauseate and if you happen to catch a virus, your body will not be able to fight off that quickly."
"What else?" I asked again. What sounded like the only salutation was my death call?
"Your white cells will be weakened. You might have some transfusions later on. There are other things, like sores in the mouth, throat and stomach."
"Oh, great!" I winced. I pictured my body screaming for the halt of the medicine even before I started.
"Listen, it may sound like a nightmare, but someone people fair better than others. You, Shuichi are young and strong. You might surprise yourself," Doctor Lenix said. Then, he walked over to place a hand on my shoulder. He had a knowing look on his face. He believed that I could make it.

The following week I was confined to the hospital while they tested me for another series of things I couldn't or didn't want to go into. I was finally released, not to my home. No I ended up at house near the hospital.
My mom brought a few things to the stay at the house more comfortable. There was a very small last of people who allowed seeing me. Yuki had his hand in making that list. He wanted to make sure I was happy and healthy. Yet, I needed someone like him to be at my call if I was too sacred to talk to my folks about it.
My family was aloud to visit me hewn they weren't busy. Yuki decided to do two things. One was to give up smoking. He kept on say that he was one day. I was going to hold him to that promise. The other was a shocking delight to me. He was going to live with me during the treatment time. I uttered in my heart, "Damn!"
He was thinking of himself, but I when looking over the paper work for my testing. Yuki was there to ask questions or tell me in plain langue about the different procuress. He spoke to a group of doctors who were assigned to me. I moved in the house. It wasn't like what I was expecting. The house was modern western style. There were two stories and a basement. I like the fenced in yard. No one could see me if I wanted to go outside. Yuki liked too for the quiet. He wanted to get away from his sister, Mika and his brother,
Yoshiki. He needed a break from his family to start on another book. The last thing he wanted was to party.

I choice a bedroom that was a little bit bigger than my old room. There was a single bed and one dresser. It looked pretty normal with the plain pale brown drapes and a beige rug. I had an overstuffed suitcase in my hands when I entered the room. Hearing Yuki talking to the housemaid, I walked in. They were disusing about the diet that the hospital had ordered me to follow. I glanced at it when I was at the hospital. Bland was understatement. I didn't mind the healthy stuff, but to give up strawberry pocky was a death knell to my sweet tooth.

I started in on my unpacking. The clock on the nightstand was a small blue whined up kind that I believed was gone. I heard the gentle ticking of the clock. I placed the suitcase on my bed. I saw the bare walls of the room. I knew I wasn't aloud to have any sort of poster on the walls. I had just one picture of my family. I had my mom pack for me in my suitcase. She told me when I needed to have a sign of strength to look at that picture. I agreed. "Shuichi?" Yuki's voice asked in the hall.

"Yea. What?" I called out as I started to take out the clothes from the case.

"Oh, there you are!" Yuki said. He stuck his head in the doorway.

"Yea, I'm unpackin'," I started to fish out some shirts from the case.

"You have an eight in the morning appointment."

"Yea," I nodded. I took a lung full of air. There were knots of dread in my stomach. I didn't want to do it, but Yuki was going to drag my sorry behind if I didn't.

Yuki walked over to me. He had a real gently look on his face. He was now standing next to me. Reaching to touch my right shoulder, Yuki said, "I'm going with you. Your mother is coming too."

I turned to look at Yuki's blue eyes. It was like staring into a lake of clear blue water. At first it shocked me, that Yuki's eyes were blue. They were usually golden green, like hazel. I asked him, "When you started to wear colored contacts?"

"Last week. I'm getting some new glasses made up. . .I'm tried of using my glasses all the time when I read. You like my eyes blue?" he smiled gently.

"Yea. You are dead sexy in them," I chuckled softly. I had a dirty thought floating in my head since I came to this house.

Yuki didn't have to read my mind. He was just as bad as me. His hand was on my shoulder. Feeling it squeezing my shoulder sent a chill. "Maybe later on tonight?" he quipped in a sly tone.

Then, my heart flipped into the scared little kid mode. "Can I make a confession to you?" I asked.

"What about?" he asked.

I forced a fake smile, which Yuki could see right through me. I uttered, "I never was sick like this before. I couldn't sleep last night. The only thing I could think was the pain. Everything else is secondary."

I fought back the tears with nerve-racking tension. I bit my lower lip. Then, I glanced down at the floor, feeling so lost.

Yuki could see the lines on my face. He was staring at me with angelic grace. He wrapped his arms around me. To smell stale cigarette smoke, Yuki's sandalwood soap and his favorite chocolate mint bar was a healing balm to me. He bent down to whispered in my ear, "It will be fine. I'm here for you. I don't like to have shots either. So, we're in the same boat, Shuichi!"

"That's good!" I sighed. I buried my face in his shirtfront like a little kid. I heard his heart and breathing. "Oh, a hug for you is so good!"

Yuki was going to get the better of me. He asked, "Are you getting . . ."

He was quickly interrupted by a knock on the door. It was the housekeeper standing in the doorway. Her surprise was visible as the words from her mouth said; "I'll be at the store for half hour. What would you like for supper?"

Yuki the master of cover-up smiled as he nodded, "Yes. We would like to have some fish. By the looks of things, I was giving Shuichi a hug. That's right."

The housekeeper squeaked a little.

Then, Yuki finished, "I was trying to keep Shuichi down. . .he was about to fly off the handle!"

The housekeeper turned to walk out of the door after she nodded slightly.

"Oh, God!" I yipped. My heart was beating fast from the tension.

"Little girl. She's an American too!" Yuki shook his head.

I turned back to give Yuki an earful. "Watch you are doing. You want the freakin' world to find out about us!" I huffed.

"Debbie is the kind that is too stupid to tell any one about us. She is far too straight to even open her mouth and eyes to realize what we are!" he chuckled softly.

"Debbie?" I uttered. I glanced back at the doorway. "Is that her name?"

Yuki removed his hands from me. He snorted, "Sorry. . .one of those got up in the moments."

"Two things. Why is there an American staying with us," I asked when I turned back to stare at Yuri.

"And the other?" Yuki stepped back.

"How can you tell?"

"She has the most beautiful gray eyes I have seen in long and the other she is a student learning Japanese the hard way. Her last name is Phillips."

"You called her a little girl. Why?" I asked as went I back to my unpacking. I was going to calm down if I got my stuff in order.

"She's barely out of college and she can't be more than twenty. She looks like the type who's mother kept her in a virtual cage."

I didn't speak as I pulled out shirts and pants. Yuki turned to walk out of the room. I thought of her. . .of Debbie. She appeared to be so sad in my view. I hoped that Yuki didn't tease her like he does me.

+++

Later on the early evening, the house smelled good. I was studying in my bedroom when I heard Yuki called me to supper. The hospital provided for me a vid link to my classes and a computer with an Internet hook up for my schoolwork. I sat on my bed with my homework scattered over everywhere.

"Come on," Yuki said. He stood at the foot of the stairs. He heard my clamor as I dashed out of the room. He saw me running down the stairs. He held out his hand in a gesture to make me slow down. He uttered sharply, "You can't be running around like a fool. You need to slow your pace a little. Remember you have cancer."

"Awe, man. I'm not going let that stop me," I said as I halted on last step. I swung my arms a little in childish disgust.

Yuki's head turned to the left to see the entranceway to the dining room. He noticed Debbie putting a large bowl of food down on the table. He asked, "What's that?"

Debbie glanced up to see Yuki and said humbly, "Soup . . . it's home made!"

"Shuichi. Listen to me. If you are a good boy tomorrow than we can. . ." Yuki smiled. He pointed a finger at my nose. I felt the tip brushing against the tip of my nose. It tickled.

Debbie went back to the kitchen. She was very quiet. Nothing came out her mouth as she came back with a bowl full of bread.

"Chow time," I squealed as I grabbed Yuki's finger. I kissed the tip before releasing it. Then, I made a beeline for the dining room.

"Baka-san!" Yuki muttered, shaking his head.

I entered the dining room with the warm smell of chicken soup blanketing the room. It was a typical dining room, with a large table and old style chair in the middle of the room. There was a china cabinet off to one side of the room. The overhead lamp was an odd shaped thing that my grandmother would have own. It appeared be an upside cream colored flower with the pedals hanging in around cluster. "No count for taste," I sighed as I pulled back a chair near the head of the table.

Yuki entered the room with poised quiet. He walked to the opposite chair facing mines. He pulled the chair back. At the same monument, we both took our seats. I pushed myself forward with the chair. I glanced at my bowl with the golden broth steaming. It smelt like chicken. There were large pieces of both meat and vegetable floating around in the bowl. I grabbed for my chopsticks. I grinned as found my chopsticks near my bowl, "It looks great!"

"It does!" Yuki said as he took the napkin off the table. He unfolded it slowly and placed it on his lap. He took a soupspoon from the table.

Debbie said as she stood off to the side nearest the kitchen, "Would that be all?"

"Yes. You can go!" Yuki nodded before taking a small spoonful of the soup.

"Thank you, sir!" Debbie bowed quietly. Then, she turned to walk out of the room.

I stared at the retreating figure of Debbie. She must have a good background to be working in Japan and a good hospital as well. I took a chunk of chicken onto my chopsticks. Blowing on it for a second placed it in my mouth. Tasting the soup was heavenly. I never tasted anything that good. Outside my mom's own cooking this would be a tie. I sighed as I chewed the chicken slowly. Yuki smiled, as he tasted the broth. He asked, "You like it?"

I swallowed with a smile. Then, I sighed, "Yea. . .it's really yummy!"

"Then, she will be a good cook for us. She has some experience in taking care of sick people. Her father had the same thing you are going through."

"Oh," I said before taking another bite. A minute had past and I sighed, "This stuff is excellent."

"I'm glad that you are finding her work suitable," Yuki nodded. "It's nice to have such a good cook."

+++

It must have been two or three in the morning. I was not sleeping as I lay in the strange bed. Yea, I know sleeping on a strange bed can throw a person's sleep pattern off. But, this was different. Forever time I tried to shut my eyes; I could see the needles going to my arm and then the pained poison eating away at me. What little physical sleep I got, I forced myself out. I sat up on the pillows. I stared at the shadows on the walls. Nothing seemed to comfort me. I pulled the covers off of me. The cold of the room was a sign to me that I was alone. "Yuki. . ." my mind touched on. "He is the only one that could help me."

Yuki was deep in his sleep when I started to knock on his bedroom door. He didn't want to suddenly awaken. I called out softly, "Yuki!"

Yuki was quickly thrown onto the world of the living. He felt the pulling of my knocking drag him out of a good night's rest. He rolled over to the side where the door was. "Idiot!" he murmured.

"Yuki?" I called out for a second time. I hoped that my calls for Yuki didn't wake up Debbie.

I heard the sounds of Yuki fumbling for the door knock. I felt the air hitting me as the door was flung open. He, Yuki didn't look all too happy or neat. His blond hair was spiky and his face was a little wrinkled. "What are you doing in the hall in the middle of the night?"

"I'm scared!" I whimpered a little softly.

"No.. .not this," Yuki growled softly. He hovered over me. I could tell he was a little mad. He said, "Listen. They will have you knocked out if you are that scared. What are you a man or mouse? Come on, Shuichi. . .needles are that painful."

"No. I don't want to have that poison they are going to pumping up with. I talked to Hiro and he told me it's nasty," I sighed, trying to push back the fear that was now buzzing in my half starved for sleep brain.

Yuki had to stop and think out side of himself. He knew I was terrified. He took me into his arms and said gently, "I have need to listen myself. Shiuchi, you are a lot of stronger than you think. You need me to be your back up in that department."

He held me gently. He reached over touch my hair. I felt a chill on my body. He smiled to ease my fears as he said, "My child!"

"Don't let me go," I gasped. I buried my face in his robe. On feeling his breathing, I tensed up. He promised me that he wasn't going to let go. Then, I started to cry. Not like a stupid kiddy-crying jag. This was my frightened soul coming through.

"You want to sleep with me?" he asked. He stroked my head with tender fingers.

"Yea," I gasped. Before I knew it, Yuki reached out to pick me up. I couldn't protest as he carried me to his bed.

"You want a story?" he teased a little, trying to make me feel better.

I sighed as I shook my head. Then, I said as he lowered me onto the bed, "I want to talk. That's all!"

"You want another blanket?" he asked. He climbed into the bed by the use of the foot of the bed. He wanted to make me comfortable.

"No," I said as I punched the pillow to make it a little bit fluffier.

"O.K." he whispered loudly as Yuki crawled up next to me. "What is it you want to talk about?"

"I'm not sure. Movies. . .books, uh school?" I was trying to pull out anything that my weakened mind wanted to gab.

"It's funny. . .I never dreamed you would have cancer!" Yuki said softly. He stared at the darkened walls. He heard up to brush the stray bangs from his forehead.

"Yea. The doctor told me, I have a defect in my body chemistry!" I snuggled against Yuki's body for warmth.

Yuki smiled, as he believed that I was defected in some way. Then, he said, "I though you were a defect 'cuase you are such a spaz. I'm wrong. You are human with all the loopholes like the rest of us."

"Wha ya mean?" I said before I yawned.

"You have cancer. My father thought I would be the first with cancer because of my life style. I smoked. . .uh. . .I used. I drink way too much and I eat the wrong things. I party too damned hard and my father believed that I would pay for it in the end."

"Call it a cruel joke," I murmured. I was growing sleepy. It was the right type of medicine for me to crawl into Yuki's bed. I needed someone to talk about my fear, to drive my suffering away.

"Cruel or other wise. Cancer is cancer and it's no joke, Shuichi," Yuki whispered. Then, he glanced down at me. I was dead to the world with sleep. My head pillowed next to Yuki's elbow was a clear sign to my lover that I was unable to talk. He leaned forward to give a gentle peck on the forehead. He carefully wrapped his arms around me and settled down for a couple of hours for himself

+++

The next morning wasn't allowed to eat. Yuki had a quick bowl of something and a rice ball. He drank coffee to pull his body into a fully awake stance. I took a quick shower and washed my hair. Yuki heard me singing in nervously tone of voice. He was already dressed in a dark gray business suit. He waited for me in the living room.

After the shower, I zipped into my room to change. I wore same old tired blue robe that I had at my house since I was fourteen. My pink hair was dripping wet. I had to get a towel from the hall closet at the end of the hall. I heard Debbie straightening out Yuki's room. The door was opened when I peeked inside. I wondered if she heard Yuki and me talking last night. Our eyes met for a minute as I walked past Yuki's room. She said as she gave a small bow, "Hello. . .Mister Shindou. I hope the hospital will take good care of you!"

I was surprised hear Debbie whishing me good luck at the hospital. No blushing excuses about peeking in while Yuki and me were having a cuddling session. It was plain to me that Debbie was a heavy sleeper. I managed to say, "Thanks. I won't be back until one or so."

"Yes, sir!" she said as she went back to her work.

I went to my room to get dressed and ready for my initial treatment.

It didn't take me long. I walked out of the room, wearing a turquoise button down shirt over a white t-shirt and a pair of jeans. I heard Yuki saying, "Are you finished?"

I went down the stairs one by one. I felt my heart tensing up. "Oh, God!" I thought. "I'm scared, but I have to do it."

I forced a brave face. Yuki watched as I went down the stairs. He asked, "Nervous!"

"A little," I uttered. Then, I bit my lower lip. My foot hit the last step with a thud.

"O.K. it's first day jitters. Everyone gets them!" Yuki nodded with a gentle compassion in his eyes.

"Where is Debbie?" he asked as he walked over to the coat rack, which was near the front door.

"She's cleaning your room!" I said as I followed him.

Yuki grabbed his windbreaker from the rack. I opened the front door in hopes to see no one. I got my wish. Not even a reporter from the daily rags stood on the doorstep.

+++

It was five minutes trip to the hospital. Yuki and me talked about things. Not normal things like we do. It was going to rain the next day as the radio forecaster babbled on about up coming week. Yuki drove his car as I rode in the back. It was good idea for me when I wore my shades. I didn't want sea of lights as I entered the hospital hurting my eyes. Yuki glanced up at the rearview mirror and said, "We're here!"

"Oh," I said. I felt ten-ton butterflies zipping around in my stomach. I was sort of lying on the back seat. When I saw the overhang of the parking lot, I sat up straight. It was like being back in school during a pop quiz. Feet pointed, head erected and hands on my lap.
I tensed up as I heard Yuki saying, "Your mom is here."

"Yea," I gulped. My heart was going at light speed. Felt the car pulling up to an empty parking space. "Great!"

We got out of the car. My mother stood at the end of the car. My knees were knocking a little bit. Yuki appeared to be cool as ice when we came up to my mom. My mom was looking a worst for ware. She didn't smile when she saw me. I asked, "Where's dad?"

"He's at work. He will call you at the house when you are able to stay awake," she said.

Yuki said, "We are a little early, but I don't know where the cancer ward is at."

The word cancer made my heart slipped a beat. Then, I squeaked out, "Fourth floor. . .room four-one-three!"

"It's O.K. Shuichi. Take my hand, if you are scared," my mom gently coaxed me in to a lull.

I did what was I told. My mom's hand was warm as she reached out to take my hand. She smiled at me. She pulled me without force into an entranceway. Yuki followed us. We traveled the maze hallways, steps and doors until we reached the fourth floor. Yuki and my mom were trying to make me feel better about the first day of treatment.

We went to the outpatient room to sign me up. It wasn't long when the woman behind the desk pulled out a thin plastic band from a stack of papers. She told me to hold my left arm. Placing it around my wrist, she said, "Are you allergic to any medicines?"

My mom said, "No."

Then, the woman looked at the notes and said, "You have to go to room five, Shuichi and change. Did you eat?"

"No, ma'am!" I shook my head. Then, I wondered change into what.

"Oh, no!" Yuki mumbled. He tired to hide a smile on his lips. He knew what was going on.

Then, it hit me. I had to change into one of those gowns. I hated them. They were much better than the old ones, but, at what cost? I shot at Yuki an angry glare. Then, I said, "You are not going to see me."

"Shuichi," my mom said. She tried to keep the peace between Yuki and me. "Doesn't he have a brother? It nothing new to him if he has a brother."

"Mom!" I groaned. My face was red as a beet.

"It's fine, Mrs. Shindou. I'll be in the waiting room until they are finished with him!" Yuki smiled as he shrugged his shoulders.

I didn't say another word. I heard the woman tell me what room to show up in.

+++

I lay in a hospital bed. I was cold despite a blanket did cover me. I was talking to my mom. We waited for a couple of minutes. A couple of nurses came in to look me over. One of them drew blood which was I surprised. It didn't hurt that badly. My mother talked about the school festival, which I was going to miss. I didn't feel bad on missing one festival. Usually I got excited about it. Hiro and me were BAD LUCK and we played for the crowds. This year was different. I realized how small things like school were. I was getting another sort of education. I was learning fast on what cancer was and how they, the medical team who was assigned to me were using to fight off my illness.

"Are you still cold?" my mom asked.

"Yea, a little," I said. I turned my head to see my mom sitting right next to me. I was in a large room with a curtain at the entranceway. It was drawn closed.

"I'll tell the nurse."

A rather plu

A rather plump, medium built older looking woman came into the room. She smiled as she said, "Shuichi. . .how do you feel?"

"Scared and starved!" I snorted with a smiled. I couldn't fake the lack of food to my stomach.

"That's understandable," she chuckled a little. Then, she came up the foot of the bed. She grabbed my chart and looked it over. "You are in for your first treatment."

"Yes ma'am. My mom and one of my friends are here with me!" I nodded.

"That's good. It is a scary time. . .young people shouldn't have cancer. I have seen too many who lost out on much!" the lady said. Then, she replaced the chart back on the railing. "I'm Mrs. Kano. I'll be one of your nurses. O.K."

"Sure!" I nodded for a second time.

"Let me get started on the IV," Mrs. Kano said. Then, she noticed that I was cold. She asked, "You want another blanket?"

"Yea," I sighed.

I watched as she felt the room. Then, I heard my mom tapping her foot. She didn't like waiting around for too long. Mrs. Kano came back within a minute, carrying another white blanket. She walked over to my bed. Gently placing the blanket, she began to unfold it. "There. Better?" she asked.

"Much," I smiled. I felt the warmth seeping into my skin.

Then, she went over to the other side of the room. There were two or three IV poles standing in a corner. She pulled out one from the corner. Then, she walked back with the pole following her. It was lined up with the head of my bed. I felt nervous in the knowledge of what was to come. Mrs. Kano walked over to a shelf on the opposite side of my bed. On it sat a large plastic box. There were several bags of clear and lightly tinted bags of IV fluids. She took one of the clear bags out. She walked back to my bed. She joked trying to make me feel a little less terrified, "I got your breakfast."

My mom giggled at the statement. I tried not to laugh myself. Mrs. Kano said, "Relax your hand for a minute."

"O.K." I said. I uncurled my hand, letting it get comfortable. I felt my other hand being picked up. It was my mom taking my hand into hers. I turned to see her face.

She smiled gently, "I'm here for you, Shuichi. Just squeeze my hand if you start to feel any pain!"

I smiled back at her. I didn't so lonely. "Thanks, mom!" I said.

Mrs. Kano placed the IV bag on a hook. She started to do the extension, carefully measuring the length of the line. Then, she took out a packet of alcohol swabs. She opened one up and the smell filled my nose. I tensed up a little as I closed my eyes. I held to my mom's hand. "Just relax," Mrs. Kano said.

I started to take deep breaths in through my nose and out my mouth.

"That's good, Shuichi," Mrs. Kano remarked with a gentle tone of voice.

Then, I felt a prick of sharpness breaking my skin. It was the needle. Finally I felt a large bandage being placed on my hand. It was over for the most part. I opened my eyes and turned to look at Mrs. Kano. I asked, "It's over?"

"Yea. The first bag will be a saline drip. Then, we start on the Chemo."

"Shuichi. . .if you need anything. . .I'll be right next to you!" my mom said.

I nodded slightly and felt my arm going numb.

+++

About twenty minutes in my second IV bag, my stomach started to get queasy. It was like the time I ate a bunch of candy, then I went on a coaster. That's when I was about seven or eight. I got really sick that day. The feeling was coming back. I started to get the dry heaves. I swallowed air, trying to keep my stomach in control. Then, I uttered, "Mom. . .mom!"

My mom who was reading a book, looked up at me. She asked, "What's wrong?"

"I feel. . ." I huffed. Then, a second wave of nausea hit me. Then, I whispered loudly, "I'm going be sick!"

My mom stood up and quickly closed her book. She said, "It's O.K. I'm calling the nurse!"

There was a call light button on hanging off the right side of my bed. I watched her as she grabbed it. In a minute Mrs. Kano was rushing in. She looked at me and asked, "How long as he been sick?"

"I think a couple of minutes," my mom said.

"O.K. please leave the room. I'll take care of him," Mrs. Kano said.

Placing the book in her jacket pocket, my quietly left the room. I saw the nurse taking another control, which hung next to the call light. She pressed a button. My head was raised to the point of me sitting up. I huffed and swallowed. She was ready for me. In her hands was a funny shape bowl, which placed under my chin. She said, "It's O.K. Come on. Cough!"

I did what was told.

In a few minutes, my mom was permitted back the room. She noticed that my lower face was washed. I felt sick, worst off than before. Mrs. Kano was putting some medicine in my IV to stop the rest of my stomach from caving in. My mom came up to my bedside. "Mama!" I murmured. My eyes fluttered to block out the harsh lights of the room.

"Don't talk, little one," My mom whispered loudly. She reached up with a gentle hand to brush my bangs away from my forehead.

I dozed for a while, letting the medicine that dripped into my veins work on my body.

Four hours later, I was still sick to my stomach. I watched as my mother and a nurse redress me. All I wanted to do was lay on my bed and not move. An orderly came into the room, pushing a wheel chair. He said gently, "Are you ready to go?"

My mom said quietly, "Yes. I think you are going to sleep it off for a little while Shuichi!"

I was helped into the wheel by the orderly. He talked to my mom for a little bit. As we rounded a corner, I saw Yuki standing in the hall. He was expecting to see me in the state I was in. Yuki, shocked and a little dismayed didn't say a word. "Yuki!" I groaned softly. I forced a miserable smile on my lips.

"Shuichi. . .you have a good friend in Mister Eiri. Will you be able to get him the house?" my mom said in a gentle, but loud whisper.

Yuki nodded.

That was the last thing I could remember. I must have fallen asleep when we got to the entranceway to the hospital. The next thing I could recall was waking up in the new bed the cancer house. Yuki was sitting on a folding chair, sucking on a lollypop and reading a book. I was carefully tucked in the bed. He heard me awaking up and glanced up at me. Taking the lollypop out his mouth, he asked softly, "How do you feel?"

"Yuki. . .bad!" was all I could say.

Leaning forward a little, Yuki said, "Don't worry. Debbie is making up some broth and tea for you. You just rest."

"K," I uttered loudly as I fell back in a dozing mode.

There was a knock in the door. Yuki placed the book on the nightstand. He got from his chair and walked over to the door. He opened to see Debbie standing with a tray in her hands. "Mister Eiri. . .may I come in," she said softly.

Yuki nodded and moved over to let her pass. She said, "There is a T.V. tray in the hallway. Could you help me set up?"

"Sure," he said. He stepped out of the room and found the tray leaning against the wall near my door. He picked it up carefully. Walking back, Yuki set the table near the left side of my bed. He said gently, "Shuichi. . .Debbie has your broth and tea for you!"

I half heard the noises of a tray and TV. tray being set up. Debbie said, "Shuichi. . .time to eat."

"Eat," I groaned. I didn't want to sit up and eat. Yuki coaxed me into taking a little bit of tea. He stood now at my left side. I opened my eyes. He had a straw in mug of tea. I tried to scoot up in my bed. After that, I opened my mouth a little to take a couple of sips with a straw.

"If you need anything or help I'll in the hall," Debbie said.

"Fine," Yuki nodded. He was now hovering over me with the tea mug in his hand.

+++

I don't remember too much. After the liquid dinner, I slept. I was a live wire through out the day. Now I was too weak to even move. Yuki stayed by my side until he was too tried to keep awake. He went over to his room and settled in for the night. I slept soundly that Yuki had to check my pulse. He was happy to see that I was still alive.

The next morning, I woke up in the early morning. I lay in bed, listening to the birds as they chirped. Yuki was wake and taking a shower. He was getting ready for the second series of chemo. I wasn't looking forward to it. I was hoping for a miracle.

There was a knock on my door. "Shuichi?" a voice asked.

"Yea," I said a little loud.

"May I come in?" the voice asked a second time.

"Sure," I said.

The door opened and Yuki entered my room, wearing his dark green robe. He was drying his hair. He walked over to my bed. He asked as he placed the towel around his neck, "Are you ready to eat?"

"A little. Just tea and toast. My stomach," I sighed. I placed a hand on my stomach. "It feels like I had the flu!"

"O.K." he said.

I remembered the doctor telling my mom and Yuki that it would be better for me if did eat a little to keep my strength up during the chemo treatments. I was only allowed to have very little. Yuki told me to stay there while he got my breakfast. I wasn't going to move. It felt incredibly comfortable when I stayed put. "I am going to take it slow. I'm not rushing into anything."

"That's the idea. It's early. You have plenty of time to get ready!" he smiled.

+++

Two weeks of Chemo and testing was making me weak as a new born. I lay in bed most of the time. I slept a lot. I had no drive for school, sex or singing. I listen to the radio, which was in my room. My sister was nice and ran out to buy a little CD play with a radio. Yuki was writing like crazy. He would stay with me for long periods either in the hospital at the cancer house. He would go out just get his personal mail or grab at vid from a local rental place. Then, I noticed a couple of changes in me. I developed a nagging cough that wouldn't go away. Yuki didn't tease me about that. He knew that my voice was my second talent. Teasing or stripping me of that would kill what little dream I had. The second was when I was in bed with Yuki. We stopped having sex because of my loss of energy. I wasn't going to risk a trip to the hospital for my human lust. The time I spent with Yuki was just for hugging, kissing and heaving petting. I lay next to him as he read a newspaper ad. He reached up to stroke my hair with a free hand. He had his arm wrapped around my shoulder. It was like the old days when we got to know each other. Yuki was stroking my hair. He felt a few hairs clinging to his hand. He didn't realized what was happening. When he took his hand away to look at it. He saw a small sample of my hair. He was beginning to get worried. He knew about the side effects of chemo. He hoped not to see one this up close. "Shuichi!" he said.

"Yea," I asked as I snuggled close.

"Now. . .I want to you to remain calm!" he said in a cool and quiet tone. He rubbed his fingers against the hair.

"What's this about?" I blinked. I was getting sleepy from the medicine.

He looked at the strains for a minute before saying, "Your hair!"

"Yea . . .my hair. . .I, " I murmured. It felt good it have the personally attention I needed. "Don't stop!"

"I might have to," Yuki said. He held out the strains of hair for me to see. "You are losing your hair."

"What?" I yelped. I felt my heart sink fast as I glared at loose hair. "No way!"

"You knew this was going to happened," Yuki said. He tried to keep his head straight while I flew off the handle.

"Dear God. . .no!" I groaned. I sat up in bed. I fingered Yuki's hand. Next, I started to reaching and pulling at my scalp. There were still some hair hanging on, but there were large patches coming out in little waves. They were just waiting for me to pull out.

"Shuichi!" Yuki ordered as his voice instantly became bitter. He grabbed at both of my shoulders his hands. "Get a hold of yourself. You hair will grow back. This is a temporary thing."

I started to tremble. It seemed like my world was crashing around me. Yuki sat up in bed. Wrapping his arms around me, Yuki said in a quiet voice, "It's O.K."

I pressed my face against his chest. I sob and gasped as I cried. There was a knocked on his door. He said, "It's opened!"

The door opened and Debbie entered the room. She was carrying the last load of clothes from the basement. She said in a puzzled face, "What's wrong?"

"Shuichi is losing his hair. It just started," Yuki said as he craned his neck to see who it was.

"Oh," Debbie nodded. She felt bad for me as she walked over to the Chester drawers. Placing the clothes on the top, Debbie said, "I know what he is going through."

"Oh, you do?" he asked.

"My father. He had cancer. . .lung. It really hurt him. They didn't get in time. He had the chemo and the other treatments . . ." Debbie said. She was going to dig up the ghost of her own past in order to help me. I could see it was hurting her to talk. It must of have been of late that Debbie had lost her father.

"I'm sorry," Yuki said quietly. He looked so incredibly humble.

"It's been three years. I try not think of the bad," Debbie said. Half smiled placed on her lips. She nodded as she turned to see us, still sitting on the bed.

"Listen. I'm a big cry baby," I sniffed. I hated what everything was doing to me. I wanted things to go back.

"Cry. Please," she said. "It will be good for you. The hurt that's inside. . .you can't let it rule you."

Her words were so soft it felt more of a request from a fan than an order. So, I did let it out. Yuki held onto to me as if his life depended on it. I started to feel Debbie's own sorrow. She was a brave woman to come all away from America to study. Or was it she was trying to run away from her own fears and failures.

Debbie went over to give comfort to me. She said, "You can wear a hat or head scarf until you hair grows back."

Yuki spoke up in a little bit of his own concern for me, "It means he has to get it cut off!"

"Maybe. I'm not sure. I'm not a hair dresser!" Debbie smiled.

"That's O.K. we can take it one step at a time," Yuki said. He watched as Debbie placed a hand on one of my shoulders.

"I'll think about it!" I sniffed.

The phone rang and Debbie quickly excused herself. We watched as she stood up to leave the room. She was a very confused young woman. Yet, she had an extremely frail, caring heart.

+++

The days had past. I went to the hospital, a local hairdresser cut my hair I went for my treatments. The doctors were pleased that my body was getting stronger. Then, I was assigned to the radiation department of the hospital. I was told that I wasn't allowed to leave the hospital. It was another blow to my frail ego. I phone Yuki at a room they placed me in. "Why are they doing this to you?" he asked.

"They don't want you to get sick. The stuff they are giving me tomorrow is pretty nasty!" I said. Then, I explained to my lover the whole shooting match. I was scared to death. Glancing at the clock, I know I had one turn to at this point. I sat in another hospital bed. I haven't changed into my gown yet. Yuki told me that he would wait for me until it was over. My heart leapt a little out a comfortable reassurance.

I said my goodbyes to Yuki. I caught my reflection in a window facing my bed. My hair was defiantly short. The hairdresser gave me a buzz cut. I hang up the phone which was next to my bed on the over bed table. I thought to myself, "And so it begins!"

+++

The next morning was long. More tests. I was getting tired of the needles and the pain. The nurses were prepping me for another treatment. I asked one of them what was going to happen. He told me that I was going have a series of shots of radiation in my stomach. I was hoping the treatments weren't going to hurt.

I had to hold my breath for a couple of minute as the nurse drew the lines for the radiation. I lie on a gurney with a thin blanket covering me up. The next thing I knew, I was being wheeled down to a large, semi-darkened room. I believed it to the radiology department.

+++

Hours later, I was back in bed feeling a slight burn. The nurses told me that I was going to experience that. If it got too much that they were going to stop it. I rolled over to one side. I felt wore out. There was a single white rose sent to my room when I was gone. It was from Hiro with a card saying, "I believe in you, buddy!"

It seemed like the rest of my friends never forgot me. The vase stood on the nightstand near my bed. I hoped that the rose stood for purity. I had to remain pure in both mind and body when I was going through the horrible treatments.

The faint sweet smell of the rose cut through, gently the other smells of the cleaners in my room. It was gentle and small, but it was something I keep in my heart as I fell asleep.

+++

It seemed like three weeks instead of two before I went home again. I knew that the house was staying wasn't my house. Yet it felt like it. Yuki was looking over a finished short story as he sat in the living room in front of his notebook. I was still pretty weak as the transportation nurse and me walked into the living room. Yuki looked up at me as I entered the room. He saw the chalky pallor of my skin. He raised both hands up to his mouth. He shifted a gasp with his right fingertips. I could see what he was thinking of me. I appeared to be death warmed over. He quickly logged off his notebook. Then, he stood up and walked over to me. He told the nurse, "I'll take it from here!"

The nurse said, "O.K. I'll give you the paper work and a list of what he can and can't do and eat."

I trudged slowly over to the sofa. My stomach was aching and my head was pounding. All I want to do was sleep. Sleep was the first thing on my mind. I didn't hear Yuki coming up to see me. I was going to sit down before lying down. I felt his hands reaching over to take my shoulders. I sort of nuzzled his one with my cheek. I murmured in a tired voice, "I'm sorry."

"Don't be!" he replied tenderly. He helped me to the sofa. The phone rang.

I groaned as I began to settle down on the sofa, "Phone!"

"Let the machine pick it up!" Yuki said. He hovered over me for a minute. Then, he gabbed the blanket on the back of the sofa. He placed it over me.

The answering machine beeped and a voice said, "Yuki. . .is Shuichi back? If he is. . .I need to talk to him, bye!"

Then, a sharp beep ended the massage. Yuki knew who it was. "K-Chan is worried!" he huffed.

It was just like that. My world had to break through in order to find me. Mister K was calling to tell me that he wanted me.

"He can wait!" Yuki huffed. He appeared to be in a sour mood now. He was going to slow down for me. He wondered if anyone else was going to the same.

"But, Yuki?" I gasped.

"Rest!" he ordered gently. He had his hands on my shoulders, forcing me to stay on the sofa.

"Damn!" I squeaked. I felt Yuki's influence trying to stifle me.

"Shiuchi!" he uttered with a scolding glance in his eyes. "Close your eyes and sleep!"

Debbie entered the room quietly. She was holding a can of floor wax. I noticed her as she stood in the entrance to the living room. She said a little timidly, "You're back. Welcome home."

Yuki said as he turned to see Debbie, "Are you done?"

"Yes, sir!" she nodded. "I was going to the wax the flooring in the near the stairs."

"Don't," Yuki sighed. He knew that I would be sick if I inhaled the spray. "You can use the stuff in the bottle. It's less harsh."

I felt the warmth of the blanket spreading. I was falling into the spell of my own desire for sleep. It wrapped itself around like a cloak. I shut the others out as I drifted into a world of wonder.

+++

I stayed in bed for days. I heard Yuki yelling at both Hiro and K on the phone. My mom and dad would call to see if I was doing fine. It was hard on them when I was far away. I told them to get use to it when I was better and on the road.

I had to wait for the results of the testing. Yuki was also hoping for the best. I was getting stronger and eating more. I did things at a slower pace. I started to have my mouth sores opening up. I winced at the pain when I even brushed my tip of my tongue against the roof of my mouth. I ate so many different vegetables that Debbie laughed at me when I asked, "What's for my dinner? Carrots or beans?"

She was easily amused. I stay with her when Yuki was downloading his finished work in the kitchen, which was most of the afternoon. She told me about her family and how she was grew up in a small town in Ohio. She was very sweet to Yuki and me. I asked her a tough question when she was skinning a cucumber, "Why did you come here?"

She had to stop as she stood over the sink. With the white vegetable in hand, Debbie sighed, "I had boyfriend problems."

I saw the sad look on her face. She had to confess to someone. By fate, I was chosen. "I was dating a guy! No let me back up. . .we were just friends. He was way older than me," she said. She placed cucumber on the drain board. She turned to see me.

Me face was not only puzzled, but sad. The doctors warned me about getting too attached to Yuki. It wasn't good for me to get worked up over Yuki if he had a bad day. "Oh, he was too old."

"And he drank!" she added.

"What's wrong with that?" I asked. It wasn't anything unusually for people to drink. I drank once in a great while. Hiro would get a six packet from his family fridge. As we got drunk, we dreamed out loud. I knew others who could become violent as they drank. I wondered if Debbie had the type who did. "You don't drink," I said.

"It makes me sick! Even the smells," she winced.

"Would he," I asked, probing in a little deeper.

"Touch me. . .have his way with me. . ." Debbie glared at me. "No. He did kiss a couple of times. That's it. I wouldn't let him. He cut me down with his words. I do admit that I have a learning disability. But, I'm not stupid."

I was a little shocked and scared. I held up my hands to in defense. "Sorry. . ." I yipped as beads of sweat started to form on my forehead. I realized that I gave a direct hit to Debbie's feelings.

Debbie placed the knife on the draining board. She turned back to finish out her work. She said as she fought back the tears, "It's cool. I just want to live my life the way I feel is right!"

I stood up to walk over to see if could cheer her up. Then, I heard Yuki calling my name. He stood in the doorway. He said as I turned again to see him, "It's time to take your pills!"

"Sure," I murmured loudly. I felt the room. I just didn't want to hit any more raw nerves.

+++

The day to see if the cancer was contained enough for the doctors to cut it out came. Weeks of treatments were wearing me down. I sat with my legs stretched out on the sofa. Yuki was out mowing the weeds down. It wasn't like him to be doing lawn care. He told me that he needed an outlet for a little while. He chose the fenced in backyard to fix up. I heard the weed whacker humming along the fence. Debbie was down stairs finishing up the last of the wash. I was reading of things a manga. The phone rang. I grabbed the cordless from the coffee table. I believed it was Hiro calling up about some new singing group to kick us off the world stage. Instead as I answered the phone I found out it was the hospital calling about the operation to remove what little cancer I had left. The nurse on the other end said, "Shiuchi Shindou?"

"Speaking," I said.

"This is Nurse Miyazawa from Tokyo General. I have your results from the treatments."

"Yea, what?" I asked, not getting overly excited.

"It's about the cancer. I have some good news and bad news."

The back door slammed. It was Yuki coming in. He and Debbie began to talk. Debbie was entering the kitchen from the basement stairs.

"O.K. give it to me, straight!" I said, trying to sound brave.

"The good news is that your treatments have stopped the cancer from growing, but. . ." the nurse said.

I hated pauses like that. "But, what?" I thought. "There is got to be more than that!"

"The bad news is, you have to go in for an operation to remove the rest. . .the tumor is small enough."

"No way," I yipped loudly. The worst thing I hated was an operation. When I was growing up, seeing all those creepy movies made me scared of the operating room. I freaked out as Yuki started to enter the room.

He did a slow double take as he uttered, "What on earth are you getting spazed out about now for?"

I told the nurse to give a minute. I lowered the phone a notch to turn and face Yuki. I could feel the hot tears welling up in my eyes. I uttered again, "They are going to cut me open!"

"What you are balling about, this time!" he sighed. He tried to be calm without being annoyed.

I repeated my last statement. Yuki, a little puzzled, commanded, "Give the phone to me!"

I waved my hands up and down in a frantic movement.

He held out his left hand and gently cooed, "Come on. . .give me the phone. . .O.K."

I wasn't going to move. Yuki walked over to me and waved his hand in a gesture of an adult coaxing a child to give up well beloved toy. At first, I didn't want to. Yuki had his eyes fixed on mines. It was like a séance out a vampire movie. The kind where the vampire stares at the helpless victim making he or she frozen, unable to move before sinking its fangs into the poor chump's neck. I near dropped the phone as I stared Yuki. Yuki bend down in a flash to retrieve the phone. He said, "Watch what you are doing!"

"I have to be operated on," I uttered. My eyes grew wide as my hands trembled.

Yuki placed the phone up to his ear and asked, "Hello?"

"Hello?" the nurse asked. "Is there anyone on the line?"

"Yes. I'm Mister Eiri. . .Shuichi's friend. What's going on?" he asked a sharply.

The nurse explained the results and the pending operation. Yuki didn't even change his expression on his face. I knew that his eyes did have a concern glance in them as he said his thanks to the nurse. He gently placed the phone on the coffee table as he said, "Shuichi!"

I was still standing in my deer in headlights gaze. I had watched as Yuki walked over to me. Placing a hand on my shoulder, Yuki said, "I'm sorry."

I was unable to speak. I was very badly shaken up. Yuki knew that I have been through enough. I need to be for this finally leg of my journey. He said, "Let's sit down and talk about it. O.K."

He leaned his head a little forward to get my attention. His eyes were calming. I nodded with some anguish in my heart. His hand moved down to my elbow. I was helped to the sofa. Sitting down, Yuki said, "I talked to the nurse. They want to see if the cancer is contain enough that the operation is minimal."

Somehow I managed to speak what little was on my mind, "Yea. The results are very good."

"I have a couple of questions to ask. Maybe we should see the doctor before the operation. You look like you have the questions too." Yuki's voice was soft and sincere. He looked at me with a kind smile.

"Thanks!" I sighed. I placed a hand up to my cheek. I appeared a little worried on the outside. On the inside, my head ached from all the questions I had to ask.

+++

Yuki and I must have talked for hours. Debbie stuck her in the living room to see what we were talking about. She was very helpful when it came to seeing about the time for my operation was. Then, she had to start supper. Yuki went to the foyer to check on the mail and the afternoon paper. I didn't feel like reading, so I flipped on the TV. I went through the five hundred or so stations until I saw a movie of the week. Things were going back to normal as fast they were thrown into a panic.

Then, the phone rang again. I picked up it and believed it was the hospital calling for a second time. I said, trying to sound cheerful, "Hello?"

I heard some heavy breathing on the other end. I thought at first, it was Suguru and Hiro playing a prank. "Hello?" I asked, a little peeved.

More heavy breathing. This was getting stupid. I wondered if it was sister who was putting Hero up to his stunt. "Hello. . .if you don't answer," I huffed a little loudly. "I'll call the police!"

Then, a voice spoke. This was a deep throated voice as the person said, "Listen. . .you little sick boy. . .is Debbie there?"

Something was telling me this was a dangerous situation. It was in my gut, this feeling. I lied, "No.. .you call the wrong number. There is no person named Debbie here!"

Then, the person who sounded like a drunken man cursed me out before hanging up. I was more peeved than scared. I slammed down the receiver. Debbie happened to enter the room. She looked cheerful as she said, "What's up?"

Forcing my really fake smile, I said, "Nothing. . .wrong number!"

"Oh, O.K." she said as she shrugged her shoulders.

She fell for it. I was a little surprised to see that Debbie fell for it. I asked her what was she coming to see me for. She said, "I have a dinner that I would like to go. My cousin for Cleveland is coming and I would like to show her the town. . . if that is O.K."

"I'm not sure. Let me talk to Yuki about it?" I uttered. I had a bad feeling about the phone call.

+++

That night while Debbie was sleeping, Yuki was giving me a massage. I lay on my side as Yuki knelt at my bedside. He said when his fingers started to knead at my shoulders, "You are a sly one!"

"Ow!" I winced. He had to dig into my shoulder after all those I.V.s. Then, I pleaded with a snappy voice," Please. . .not so rough!"

"You. . .are two timing on me!" Yuki said as he drew back his hands. His disgust could be measured.

"No way. . .I think of Debbie as a kid sister," I yipped softly. I turned my head to face Yuki. I was getting upset with him.

"Then, why the concern for her and the blasted phone call," Yuki quizzed me with daggers in his eyes.

I curled my legs up and pushed myself off the bed. I sat in bed with a scowl. I waved my hand at Yuki's face. "I think she is in trouble. Look, she maybe just a housekeeper, yet she is a human being with a past."

"Idiot. . .you have fallen for a girl?" Yuki asked in ticked off tone. He folded his arms over his chest. His face turned away in a sour mood.

I lunged at Yuki and grabbed at his shoulders. I pulled him close enough that our eyes met. I huffed trying to keep my voice low, "No. . .I haven't. Something about her, you don't know. O.K."

"Fine," he said as his eye shifted to glare at me. "I thought I was the only one who was bisexual in this house. You seemed to be an instant hit with her."

"Wait. .wait. . .whoa. I'm love you," I shoved Yuki backwards a little bit. He nearly landed back first on the wall. "She has a boyfriend back in the states who is a jerk!"

"No way!" he snapped.

"That's why she ran away. He must have been abusive to her," I growled. My face was growing hot with rage. Yuki shifted his gaze at the floor. I gave a sharp jerk to get grab Yuki's attention. "Listen to me. When she talks about home. . . she gets a sad look in her eyes. I bet she's hiding something about him."

Yuki breathed a little bit softer. He knew about pain, the kind of pain that others could inflict on those they loved. "What about her liking you?" he asked.

"I'm sure that just a personal matter. She just there when I need to talk to her. I might have hugged her, yet kissing or nothing else," I groaned as the frustration was ebbing out of me, "You are mines all time. You are my first and last."

"She is a nice girl. You can't be that much of a dope to even look at other," Yuki sighed. He raised his hand to push back his bangs.

"Dope or true hearted. I'm your toy boy!" I giggled. I was trying to make up for hurt feeling in an instant.

"Baka!" he groaned. "You are forgiven!"

I leaned forward to give Yuki a kiss. Yuki accepted the kiss in a halfhearted way. He still had a ton to learn about Debbie. She was not my new flavor of the week.

+++

Days had past after the talk about Debbie, Debbie was in a more than happy mood. Her cousin from the states was coming for a visit. She knew about the ground rules of bring people over. That was only in use for doctors, nurses and other medical staff when I was going for my treatments. Never the less, the house was cleaned within an inch of its life. Yuki and myself were treated to some of Debbie's favorite homes cooked meals. She asked for a night off. Yuki and I both agreed that she earned it.

"Thank you!" she squealed on hearing the news. She bowed quickly a couple of times to show her appreciation to us.

All three of us stood in the back yard as the sun set. I breathed in the cooling air. It felt good be outside even it was for a couple for minutes. Yuki said as he turned to face Debbie, "You need any extra cash?"

"No. I have some birthday money I hardly touched. I am going to use it for my night on the town!" Debbie said as she brought both hands up her chest in a praying mode.

We looked at her. She was really I like I said, Debbie is a kid sister. She acted like one when she was alone. I caught her talking to herself. Yuki told her to be more careful when she swept. Yet, she was hard and good worker. Rarely taking days off or asking for out of the way favors.

She had a special dress that she was saving for a special date. Debbie wasn't a one to be asking one of us one date. She knew where he place was. Yet, to give her a little extra something was a thing both Yuki and I had to discuss about.

It seemed Debbie's high sprits were an infection disease. Yuki was the first to get bit. He was happy that he had his short story done with and wanted to show his appreciation to Debbie and me. He asked Debbie what was her favorite movie. They were in the living room as Debbie was washing the large picture window. Yuki was standing at one end of the window. He had the mail in his hand. He noticed a flyer for a local video rental. She said, "I haven't seen Radio or Bend it like Beckam!"

"Oh," Yuki gaped a little. He was more into the adult, more serious movies.

"Cool. I would like to see Radio!" I agreed. I loved movies that were different. Debbie had some good taste.

"How about Madame Butterfly?" he asked, looking over the flyer. He hoped that a tiny bit of culture would hit us between the eyes.

"Are you serious?" I quipped. I ran hand thought my hair, which was growing back. I felt Yuki's stick in the mud attitude growing. I glanced at Debbie, and then back to Yuki, "Look, Yuki movies are suppose to be fun. Madame Butterfly? Where is the fun in seeing a movie which isn't?"

"Madame Butterfly is a love story," Yuki began to say slowly in order to get his point across.

"Boring!" I forced a fake yawn. I was going to have a good time and not be driven crazy by a dull movie.

"That's good sweet," Debbie shrugged her shoulders.

"What?" I yipped softly. "I thought you were ion my side!"

"Yea . . .but, I like at time a love story!"

Yuki was a good negotiator. He was thinking on his feet when he suggested pizza with the film. I wasn't allowed certain foods; Tomatoes were on the forbidden food. I asked, "Do they make a pizza without the red sauce?"

"Yea," Debbie said as she glanced at the window for the first time. She made sure it was streak-free. Turning over the glass rag, she said, "I have this great thing on making veggie pizzas. So, leave it up to me!"

"Then, it settled. Debbie, you make the pizza and I'll get the vid!" Yuki nodded.

I felt a little left out. I asked in a childish protest, "What about me?"

"You can set the table, Genki!" Yuki said as he reached over to pat me on the head.

I was happy to do something than just homework and my walking excise on the treadmill. Yuki and Debbie watched me as I started to hop around on little jumps in place as I sang out, "I get to set the table. I get to set the table."

Debbie giggled as she went back to her work. Yuki turned his head as he griped, "Shuichi!"

+++

The special movie day came. Hiro called me up to see how I was doing. I was in my bedroom, sitting on the floor. He was detailing me the latest school dirt. It seemed my world was so far apart form his, I felt like a spy sneaking a listen into his conversation. An intruder into his life wasn't my style. Then, there was a beep, which broke the phone call for a second. I told Hiro to stay on the line. After hitting the buttons to the second phone call, I said, "Hello?"

"I'm calling about Debbie!" a voice said on the other end.

"Oh," I said. I wondered if the caller was Debbie's cousin from Ohio. I tried to remember where she was going. I said to the caller, "I'm not sure where she is at, right now!"

Yuki happened to walk past my room. I had the door opened slightly. He heard me talking on the phone. He stopped and eavesdropped.

"If you call back. . .maybe she will be back!"

"O.K." the caller said. The voice sounded deep and a little suspicious.

I wasn't going let on to the place that I and Yuki staying at. I needed some quiet as I went through the treatments. Yuki watched me like a guardian angel. Then, voice asked, Can you tell her to met me at the park?"

"Yes. I can tell her that!" I nodded.

"Shuichi?" Yuki asked as he pressed his face against the crack.

"I have gotta go, bye!" I said before quickly hanging up the phone. I turned to look at Yuki as he slowly pushing opened the door the rest of the way. I asked a little puzzled at my lover's stern face, "What's wrong?"

Yuki's face was awash of surprise and concern as he heard the conversation between the stranger and me. He asked, "Who was that on the phone?"

"I think it was Debbie's cousin from Ohio!" I said with a mused smiled. I was kind of happy for Debbie. I got to talk to her cousin.

"Are you sure? She has a cousin from Ohio. . .but, do we know her cousin's name?"

His statement floored me to the core. Was the phone call in question come from the creep who hurt Debbie in the past? Was he trying to find out where she was at by phoning the house? I shook my head. I had a bad feeling when I was talking to the stranger on the phone. Yuki said as he wrapped his hands around his arms, "Listen. Keep a tight lip on. We don't want freaks like that guy shaking her or you up!"

"Yea!" I nodded out of my own worry for Debbie. I wanted to keep her safe.

+++

I sat at the dinner table, lost in my thoughts. Yuki was cutting up the pizza as he watched the cutter. He wanted Debbie, himself and me to have equal parts. Debbie was finished with tossing the salad. She asked me if I wanted some dressing on my salad. I gave her a lost in my world response, "Sure!"

Then, I had to ask a burning question, which was aching my heart for days, what was Debbie's cousins name. "Hey Debbie?" I asked in a cheerful tone.

"What?" she asked. She reached over to grab for a salad bowl.

"What's your cousin's name?"

She smiled as she placed a large wad of greens in the bowl, "It's Donna!"

"Your cousin's name is Donna!" I gulped out of shocked. I believed that she had a male cousin.

"Yea, her and her husband, Phil!" she glanced at me. "They are coming tomorrow."

I smiled like I hit my toe, a strange tangle of pain and relief. Debbie was staring at me now. She believed I really hit my toe against the table or a chair. She asked, "Are you O.K.?"

"Yea," I squeaked after taking a lung full of air. "Why do you asked?"

"Nothing. I thought you smashed your foot on the table leg, that's all!"

"Oh," I lied through my teeth. "I am just beside myself with happiness that all!"

"If that's happy. . .I hate to see you excited!" Yuki quipped. He knew that I was in the clear about the strange phone call.

"Hey, let's forget that! I'm hungry. . .let's eat!" I said as I took a plate from the table.

+++

After the movie, Yuki noticed Debbie fell asleep on the sofa. She sat on the edge of the sofa while I sat on the floor and Yuki sat on a chair. There was nothing to worry about when it came to Debbie. She would wake up soon and shuffle off to bed. Yuki grabbed the blanket from the back of the sofa. He covered her up as I stood up. I asked, "What happened to her?"

Yuki said when he tucked the edge of the blanket up towards Debbie's chin, "She said that had a headache. She must have taken some pills to get rid of it!"

"She is too kind," I said. "She is a hard worker and loves to be around us!"

"Are you telling me the truth?" Yuki eyed me with a teasing glance.

"Yea. She told me that she had never felt like she could fit in anywhere," I said as I stretched. "Until she came here."

"She is a bright girl and needs someone to look after," Yuki said. He felt the same way I felt. She needs a place to fit in.

Then, I had a dirty thought. It didn't involve Debbie. She was my so-called kid sister. I told Yuki that dozens of times. I believed that he got the message. He was going to keep the relationship strictly to a business one between him and Debbie. I wanted to have Yuki give me a thrill. I was getting stronger each day. Just one personal, greedy act was a risk was I going to take. "Yuki.. ." I said in a sexy purr.

"What?" Yuki asked as he turned to see me standing there with a devilishly look in my eyes.

I walked over to him. I placed both arms around his neck. He saw the look in my eyes "Can you to go up stairs and get some that oil that you were using on me the other day!" I giggled softly. I went for the kill as I leaned forward to nib at his left ear lobe.

"Shuichi!" Yuki groaned. He felt trapped as he heard Debbie coughing in her sleep.
"I want a back rub?"

I heard a gasp from Yuki. He tired to remain cool under the pressure. "Is that what you are asking me?" he questioned me with a blushing look.

I leaned my head back to see his reactions. "I know. . .I have been sick. Sorry for asking!" I smirked.

"You, dirty little boy!" Yuki uttered as he rolled his eyes.

"You like dirty little boys?" I teased. I felt Yuki's body heat. He was getting in a mood that I always have trouble understanding.

"You baka," he smirked.

"Oh, yea," I said before giving a deep kiss to Yuki. I heard his half muffled complaints before settling in on the kiss. I went a little more on the wild side when I started to kiss Yuki on the chin. I had to break away fast.

"You little bad boy, I have to punish you!" Yuki hissed softly. He grabbed me gently by around the middle. He flung me over his shoulder. I read my mind as he glared at my eyes.

I teased in a soft whinny voice "Where are you taking me?"

"To your room!" Yuki growled softly. He carried gently up the stairs.

"I have been good with the medicine!" I pleaded in a soft voice.

"Yes. You will be better soon. The operation will be small. I hope you can take it!" Yuki sighed.

When we reached the door to my bedroom, I heard Yuki fumbling for the door. I saw the darkened hallway. It seemed romantic as Yuki opening the door. He pushed opened the door and whisked me in. I was now excited to feel his hands softly, gently lowering me to my bed. It was kind of romantic. He smiled down at me. "Shuichi!" he said as he hovered over me. "If you feel tired . . .please tell me and I'll stop!"

"Why?" I asked out of my curiosity.

"You have been pain. There are things that I wouldn't see myself go through. I don't want to put a strain on your body. Your body is a frail . . ." Yuki sighed. He knelt down at my bedside. He was now blushing.

"What?" I giggled in a half whisper.

"Oh, man . . .you are an idiot. No. I am one," Yuki said as he glanced at my dresser. Then, back at me. "I think of you as a spazed out, yet frail flower. The kind of flower is too bright in colour. Y'know. The kind that you give to an aunt that you kind of like!"

"I think," I smiled goofy up at him. I began to rub my belly. I could feel the markings where they shot the radiation at my belly. It still hurt. I rolled over to hide my pain.

Yuki watched me as I rolled over. He asked, "What's wrong?"

"I'm sorry, Yuki. I was getting into our little play time and I was touching my scars!"
I huffed in an ashamed voice.

"Scars?" Yuki asked gently as he placed a hand on my arm. "What kind?"

"These kind!" I rolled onto my back. I reached out to take Yuki's hand. I slowly took his hand and guided it to my belly. His fingers traced around the slightly browned area of my belly. I asked with a tiny sniff, "Can you feel them."

"Yea. . .how can you say that you are ugly!" he asked. He noticed that they were not huge. Instead they were small, almost pencil thin.

"I don't know. You are the only one who matters to me. What I have been through is Hell. This is my punishment!"

"Shuichi!" Yuki said in a soothingly voice. He was trying to make me feel good about myself.

"I was once your boy toy and now I feel like a used rag!"

"I love you for you. I didn't want to say that you are a lot stronger than you look. But, this is a real test of you. These scars are nothing. I take that back."

"What?" I asked.

"Shuichi," Yuki murmured as he knelt down at my bedside. He leaned forward to kiss me on my forehead. He broke away from the kiss. He stared into my eyes, "Scars are a sign of overcoming."

"Yea?" I gasped. I felt his one hand going under my back. Before I knew it, I was on my back with Yuki staring down at me. It was fast, yet gentle. "What are you to do when I'm at the hospital?"

"Wait for you!" Yuki said as he climbed into bed.

I began to sing very softly to him, "My heart is in your hands. When will this nightmare ever end?"

Yuki reached up to my face with fingers. He began to brush my cheek.

"I wish for your touch. I want to feel your kiss. Yet, I'm in this maze of darkness."

Yuki lowered himself to the side facing me.

"Will you set me free?" I finished singing as I turned my head to face Yuki.

He was awe struck as he whispered, "I wish I could!"

I faced him with tears in my eyes. I really loved him. "I love you, Yuki!"

He took my left hand in his. He raised it softly to his lips. With gentle kisses, Yuki eased my fears.

+++

I was still sleeping as Yuki watched me. It was early in the morning. I huddled close to my pillow. He traced with his fingertip the edge of my ear. I felt his touch as I lazily opened my eyes. I saw pure white light as I came around. At first I believed I had died in my sleep and was now waking up in heaven. I turned to see that I wasn't in heaven. I was still on earth with Yuki lying right next to me. I murmured, "Mornin'."

"And you to!" Yuki smiled.

I wondered where was Debbie. Yuki told me that she was still down stairs. He had to check on her to see if she was all right. He said, "She is still sleeping off her headache."

"What did you give her?" I asked, hoping that she was drugged for one night.

"Nothing. She has special medicine for her headaches. They must have quite a punch. She couldn't cut the pain with my aspirin, so waited for a little while and took a sinus pill."

My mind floated back to the pervious night little love making. I was surprised to see Yuki holding and touching me like he used to before the cancer. I loved the part where he kissed my neck. It tickled me as I giggled out loud. I had no idea that Yuki was careful in order not to wear me out. When we finished I yelped out to the world once again that I was Yuki's.

I grabbed the sheets and pulled them around my body. I was still cold. Yuki climbed out of bed. He said, "They want you to go at eleven. Prepping is at eleven adn the operation is at noon!"

"Yes," I said as I stretched.

He turned and pointed a finger at me. "Listen. That's tomorrow. I don't you getting into a panic. O.K.?"

"O.K." I rolled over to one side. I was going to sleep in a little while longer.

+++

"Thank you, Mister Yuki and you too, Shuichi!" Debbie said as she stood in front of us. She was getting ready for her night out on the town.

We were in the kitchen. It was early in the morning. Not my best time of the day. I was dressed in t-shirt and jeans as sat on a chair in front of the kitchen table. I had a big bowl of rice pops in front of me. Yuki was standing near the stove, waiting for his coffee warm up. He said, "You are welcome."

Debbie walked over to the frig for a loaf of bread. She smiled as she hummed.

"Yuki?" I asked before diving my spoon into the cereal.

"Do you think that she heard me?"

"Fool!" he hissed sharply.

I dropped my spoon into the bowl. He gave me a dangerous look. He wanted me to keep my big mouth shut.

"What?" she asked.

"Nothing!" I giggled as I waved my hands in front of me.

"Oh," she shrugged as she went back to her work.

"Listen," I began to say as tried to fish out my spoon from the milk and cereal. "You can take off later on, today."

"Really?" she asked as she opened the door.

"Yes. Now I have everything ready for tomorrow and you can come in as soon as you can tonight!" Yuki added.

"That's great. Now. I'll make sandwiches and a chicken dish for the next two meals. The chicken dinner will be ready for you to just pop into the oven at three and you should cook at least an hour," Debbie said as she looked for the bread.

"O.K." I said. I found my spoon in the milk. I used my two fingers as a diving tool and pulled out the spoon.

"I'll leave a note on how you should cook the bird!" she giggled as she pulled out the loaf.

"Is he able to cook?" Yuki asked as he raised an eyebrow.

"I think I am!" I yipped before raising my spoon up to my mouth.

"I think so too!" Debbie added with a nod.

"I don't believe you two!" Yuki huffed as he smack his forehead with his left hand. "I'll supervise!"

"You will?" I asked with a goof, love sick grin.

"Yes," he nodded. "I don't you to burn down the house."

"Oh, dear. I shouldn't have even asked!" Debbie gasped. She wondered if she was doing the right thing.

"Don't worry! I'll keep an eye on him!" Yuki said as he tried to ease her fears.

+++

After lunch, Debbie left the house. We were kind of happy for her. She was getting out and seeing the sights with family. That was what she hoped for a long time. I was starting to get ready for my operation. Yuki was looking over a list the hospital gave us to make sure that I was ready for my operation. She had to stop over to see her cousins at a local hotel near the airport. She was dressed very plainly, yet it was fashionable. Her yellow sweater and matching pants was the last thing I remembered her wearing.

I sat on the sofa, watching TV. It was nothing but some anime show. I needed very much to escape my world for a minute or two. Yuki was in the dinning room, starting up another story. He seemed to be energized with a new story.

The phone rang. I had the remote to the TV. in my right hand. As I pointed it to the TV, the sound was muted. I heard the phone for a second time as I reached over to the coffee table. I picked through the messy stack of magazines to get at the phone. After I found it, I picked it up. I said, "Hello?"

"Shuichi?" asked a voice.

I knew it was Hiro calling me up. I said, "Yes! Hiro was it you want?"

"The last track of the song me, you and Suguru have been working on before your cancer," Hiro said.

"Yea. . .what about. You want to rework it again?"

"Yes and no!"

I hate two sided questions. I came to the point and asked, "The lyrics. They suck, right?"

"Some of the words don't seem to find in!"

"Do you have a copy of the song?"

"No, Suguru took off with them."

"What?" I gasped. Then, I bit my lower lip. I always made sure to have three copies of the lyrics. Even since Suguru jointed in, I made three copies outside of the master. "I thought made two other copies!"

"Yea. . .we were in Mister K's office. He came in to have a talk about the new album. He was drinking coffee!"

I could just picture what happened next. Mister K was a heavy coffee drinker. He had to have it just to make thought the day. Suguru was at the piano, looking over a stack of lyrics sheets. He had a habit of keeping a loose-leaf notebook with him as he made his own notes for the song. Mister K must have gotten into a disagreement about the notes as he went overt to see what Suguru was up to. One thing led to another and he poured the coffee over the notes out of spite. He usually pulls out a gun to get his point across. Yet, of late, Mister K was trying to distance himself from his believed gun. I wondered about that ever since I left the band. Was he becoming soft? "I'll get a copy over to you next week!"

"What?" Hiro groaned.

"You can't wait. . .I take it!" I winced.

"You are so right. Mister K can't wait. He was up a wall after he found out that put us behind."

"Did he pull out his gun and start shooting?"

"No. . .he. . ." Hiro said before he began to snicker. "You should have seen his face. It was classic!"

I wondered what Mister K looked like as he found out the grave error that he afflicted on us.

Hiro burst out laughing. "He . . .he," he gasped. "His face got all white and his mouth fell open. I wish I had a digi- camera."

I laughed too. It sounded like something I would do. Mister K was usually the cool, gun toting, and tough guy. I must of left a huge gap when I took off. "That sounds more like Sakano. Than, Mister K!"

"I know. . .but, he has grown soft. He misses you. . .in fact we all do!" Hiro said.

My mind drifted back to the time when Bad Luck was just starting off. I was still in my youth when I saw Ryuichi standing next to me when I was in club. "Does Ryuichi miss me?" I asked.

"Yea. . .he being talking to that crazy stuffed pink bunny of his since you left!"

I wanted to cry. It was a part of my life that torn from me. I wish I didn't have the cancer. "Hiro!" I gasped, holding back the tears.

"What?" he asked in gentle tone. He heard my voice and the swell of emotions that were in my voice.

"You can come over . . in a little while. You must understand if Yuki hands you the sheets. It's because the doctors don't want me to get sick."

"I understand."

We said our goodbyes. I hung up the phone with tears in my eyes. I raised my head towards the ceiling. I let my tears fall in a sign of heartache.

+++

I was hoping to have my notebook with my lyrics in my room. I had packed a few things. I love my music and couldn't part with it. It was to get my mind on a positive thing before my operation.

Yuki heard my clamor in my room. He stuck his head to ask, "What are you doing?"

I was underneath my bed, trying to find my notebook. "I found it!" I squealed loudly.

"Found what?" Yuki asked as he entered the room.

"This!" I said when I pulled myself from under the bed. I began to wave my notebook around.

"Oh," Yuki sighed. Then, we both heard a loud bang.

"What's that?" I asked. My eyes grew wide as I began to get scared.

"You stay up here, until I call for you!" Yuki said.

I nodded.

Yuki left the hallway and went down the stairs. He walked to the front door. Flipping on the porch light, he slowly unlocked the door. He peeked out of the peephole. There was no one. He slowly opened up the door and found a pile of dressed up limbs. He realized it was Debbie lying in a heap in front of the door. "Oh my God!" he gasped. There was blood and torn clothes everywhere.

"The pain!" was the words she uttered in a breathless murmur.

Yuki wondered how in the name of reason did Debbie make it to here. She opened her eyes to see if she made it or not. Yuki bent down and asked, "Who did this to you?"

"Yuki?" a voice asked in cool shock.

"I found her just a couple of minutes ago!" Yuki glanced up at Hiro who was now running up the path.

"Who is she?" Hiro asked.

"A friend. . .I mean our housekeeper!"

"Yuki," I asked. I couldn't stand it and went down the stairs. I followed Yuki's voice until I reached the foyer. I was stunned to see Debbie stretched out in a heap. "Debbie?" I gaped.

"Shuichi!" Hiro asked as he caught a glimpse of me standing in the doorway.

Debbie tried to make a move. Then, she found out the pain and bleeding was holding her back. She cried out. Hiro ran up porch. Now he stood in front of Debbie. Glancing over Debbie, Hiro bent down to get a better look. He said in a calm voice, "Don't move. O.K."

"Who are you?" she gasped, trying to fight off the pain.

"I'm a friend of Shuichi. My name's Hiro. . .O.K." he said. Then, he looked up at us. He ordered the both of us in a manor that surprised Yuki, "How far is it from the hospital?"

"About a ten minute drive!" Yuki said.

"Call up an ambulance. Time is very precious," Hiro said.

"Shuichi!" Yuki said without looking at me.

"Right!" I said as I ducked into the foyer. I ran to the phone in the living room. I remembered a direct link from this house to the hospital. I picked up the receiver and dialed the hospital.

I heard the phone ring at least twice before a voice said, "Tokyo General. . .may I help you?"

"Yes. This is Shuichi Shindou! I have an emergency!" I tried to sound calm. Yet, my nerves were starting to climb up the walls.

Yuki ran to the kitchen to get a pair of rubber gloves. Then, he saw me talking on the phone as he grabbed the blanket off the sofa. We didn't talk as he left the room in a hurry.

Hiro was talking to Debbie. He was trying to keep from going to sleep. He had great scores in the first aid classes at school. He was following what he was taught. "You are from Ohio?" he asked.

"Yea," Debbie huffed. She tried to focus on Hiro's face.

It seemed like a séance out of a movie or TV. show. I heard the ambulance after I gave the person who answered the phone the address. As I hung up the phone, I watched as the medics putting Debbie on a stretcher. Again I was totally helpless.

"Shuichi!" Yuki said as reentered the living room.

"What?" I asked. I felt red-hot tears rolling down my face. "The ambulance is here?"

Yuki nodded. Then, he said, "I'm going with Hiro. I have to give a statement to the police. They have to get that bastard before he strikes this house again."

I heard the anger in his voice. It was great deal of effort for him to hold it back. I turned to see him. His face was in a tight scowl. I darted over to see him. I buried my head against his chest. I began to sob, "Don't fire her. She's really nice."

Yuki said he wrapped his arms around me, "No. . .I wouldn't. She's too nice of a girl. She works too hard to be let go of."

"Yuki?" Hiro's voice asked in a loud tone.

"Coming," he called back; Yuki turned his head to glance at the doorway.

"Shiuchi. You keep by the phone. If he tries to call. . .let the machine take it and you call the police as soon as he hangs up!" Hiro ordered me what to do.

I nodded as I let Yuki go. I instantly figured that Yuki and Hiro spoke about Debbie's past. Or what little there was to go.

+++

Waiting. I hate it with a passion. I sat nervously on the sofa, watching the news on T.V.
I didn't hear the phone for least an hour. I was starved when I got up from the sofa to go to the kitchen. As I opened a cupboard door to get a box of crackers when the phone rang. I remembered what Hiro said, "Don't answer the phone . . .let the machine take it!"

The answering machine in a sub-human cheery tone of voice said, "We're not home. Please leave a message!"

Then, I heard Yuki's voice saying, "Shuichi. . .pick up, please?"

I ran to the phone. As I picked up the receiver, I heard Yuki talking to someone. Then, he said, "Shuichi?"

"Yea," I yipped breathlessly.

"Debbie is not out of O/R yet," he sighed.

"What?" I gasped.

"What happened she was stabbed a few times and raped! Her old so-called boyfriend hunted her down. He found her at some restaurant. Her cousins had just gone in and she was following them in. He told her to follow her at knifepoint. She was scared out of her mind."

I caught my breath. Then, I cried out, in anger after I heard Yuki's story, "No. . .no. . .no!"

"She's will be scarred for life!" Yuki sighed.

"Yuki?" Hiro's voice was loud enough that I heard him.

"Yea."

"A nurse wants to talk to you!"

"Fine!" Yuki said. Then, he told me to the lock the door, take the phone with me and go up stairs. That was a simple plan to protect me from a crazy ex-boyfriend.

I said my goodbyes. Then, I darted around the house, making sure that it was sealed shut. I held on to the phone. I wanted to be there if Yuki or Hiro would call back. Yuki told me that he would use the house key to get in.

I flipped off the lights expect the one in the kitchen. I ran up the stairs. I planned to hang out in my darkened room.

I went to my bed. I wasn't hungry like was I before the phone call. I wanted to wait until Yuki came in from the hospital to eat. I sat down and stared at the window. The moon was a half sliver of pale gray. It was very breath taking. I saw and stared for a minute. I grew tired. I pulled at the bedspread and blanket to cover myself up. I lay on my side. I closed my eyes to block out the pain of the events from this evening. It seemed like a horrible nightmare.

+++

"Shuichi!" a voice called out in a gentle murmur.

"Uh?" I groaned. I had a hard time waking up.

"Shuichi!" the voice asked again.

I raised my head from the bed. My eyes opened slowly to see a blurred figure standing in front of me in my darkened room. I gasped as I said, "Yuki?"

"Yes," the figure said.

"Wha time is it?" I yawned.

"Quarter to eleven. Are you hungry?"

"Yea," I said as I tried to sit up in bed.

"Stay there. . .I'll get you some noodles and tea. It will keep you from going hungry before your operation!"

"Fine!" I said before I yawned. I raised my hands to rub the sleep out of my eyes.

Yuki left the room.

I was trying to remember what happened while I was out. I tried to piece things together. I looked at wall facing my bed. There was a shadow of a tree pressing against the wall. I uncovered myself and swung my feet from the bed. I slowly stood up. A thought hit me like a fist. Debbie. She must be in terrible pain. I walked swiftly at first as I hit the door. I near ran as I left my room. Running down the hall, I must of brought Yuki from the kitchen to the staircase. He ordered me to halt. He glared at me as he growled, "Listen. . .if you were that starved. You should have gotten the noodles yourself!"

Her reached out with a hand to place it on my chest. I was totally freaking out by the glare in my eyes, "How's Debbie?"

I wasn't holding back on my rage.

"She's doing fine. She will be getting out of the o/r soon. Hiro is staying at the waiting room. He'll call when Debbie is in recovery!"

"When is that?"

"I'm not sure!" he said. He blinked trying to hold back his own tears.

There was a series of beeps coming from the kitchen. The microwave was telling us that my noodles were done. I had to put my own feelings on hold until I was back to my old self. I knew that the noodles were going to be bitter sweet in taste because of the anger was brewing in my stomach was going to effect my mouth.

+++

After I finished the noodles in the kitchen. I sat up for a little while to watch T.V. in the living room. Yuki went up stairs to get some rest. It was going to be a long night for us.

The phone rang again for a second time. I waited for the machine to pick the incoming call. I heard the same cheery voice telling the caller to please leave a message. I heard Hiro's voice saying, "Shuichi. . .Yuki. Debbie is out of the O/R. She is ICU. The doctor had mixed feelings about Debbie pulling through. She had lost a lot of blood."

Something inside of me snapped. I screamed, "YUKI!"

Yuki heard me and came running down the stairs. He darted into the living room. He was stunned to see me holding a vase as I stood. I was about to throw it across the room. I was vexed out of my mind. He had a gut feeling that I wasn't happy. He barked out as his eyes glared at me, "What in the Hell are you doing?"

"Yuki," I hissed. "Debbie is out and is in ICU."

There was something uttering disturbing about my present state. Yuki had to get a hold of me before I took aim. "Shuichi. Please give me the vase and then tell me all what the phone call was about!"

"I told you that Debbie is out. Now, I want to kill that bastard who hurt our Debbie!" I growled like a wounded animal.

"Shuichi," Yuki said before he darted up to me. "Baka! Calm down before you hurt yourself!"

I threw the vase as hard I as could. Somehow Yuki ducked the incoming vase before he made a flying tackle towards me. I was too quick for him. I took off for the back door by going in the direction of dinning room. He followed me with flying feet. I was so full of red-hot anger that I nearly collided with the dinning room table on my over to the back door. Yuki knew that back door was locked. It gave him a chance to make a grab for me if I had trouble in unlocking the door. I did have some difficulty in trying to unlatch the bolt and chain. My fingers were trembling so badly that I nearly yanked at the chain. Yuki was now behind me and had one flying up towards my mouth.

I wanted to bite him so badly. I wanted to break away in order to find Debbie's ex-boyfriend. He hurt her; he hunted her down like an animal. I was boiling mad with rage. I felt Yuki's hand now clamping over my mouth. I struggled with all my might. I squealed loudly. I began to elbow Yuki in the chest with one arm. I felt hot tears rolling down my face. "Stop it!" he ordered.

I wanted to kick him. His frame clamped down even harder to make me stop. It was a few seconds of no air in my lungs. I felt myself letting go. I grew tired as I squirmed. Then, Yuki watched me as I began to slip into unconscious. The last thing I heard him saying, "That's it. I'm going to admit you tonight."

The rest was a black and hazy fog.

+++

When I woke up, I could feel an IV needle in my hand. I woke up in a hospital bed. Hiro was sitting across from me. He looked terrible. He hadn't slept all during the night. His hair was mussed up a little and his eyes could stand a few hours of sleep. He still was in the clothes from the previous night. His one elbow rested on the bed rail. He said, "Mornin'."

"Yea. Where am I?" I asked as I yawned.

"The cancer ward!" he breathed slowly.

"Where?"

"Stupid. The cancer ward. Today is your operation!" he huffed in a mused smirked.

I hated when things like operations came to be. It was like being in school on test day. If wasn't for Hiro bugging me with studying I wouldn't be in the same grade. "No way!" I groaned.

"Yea way!" he shook his head as he giggled.

"I don't want to go!" I protested. I wanted to stay behind for the operation. There was no way I was going to go through with it.

"Stop you whining. You are such a baby," Hiro snapped. He glared at me. All those test and medicine was there for my benefit. He was going to help me save my own life.

"I'm not!" I yipped with my eyes full of slight rage.

"Calm down. Once they knock you out. You will have nothing to think of!" another voice said or rather snapped.

I glanced around the room to see if Yuki was there. I was right; he was standing in the doorway, holding a paper cup. He glared at me. I must have shaken him up quite a bit. "You damn brat. Don't you do that on me, again!" he growled as his eyes narrowed a bit.

"S-s-s-sorry," I sputtered. My feelings were getting the better of me.

"Listen. It's not healthy for you in your condition to be flying off the handle like that. Your cancer can grow and you will get worst!" Hiro added as he glanced at Yuki.

"I was getting the better of myself. I let my feeling for someone who was just a cleaning woman, a housekeeper get my feelings in too deep!" I sighed as I stared at the foot of my bed.

"What?" Hiro asked. He leaned forward to hear the words once again in, which I spoke of.

"Shuichi. She is a good friend. It's o.k. I felt the same way. I hate to see someone being the victim of a hideous crime like rape!" Yuki shrugged his shoulders.

"Uh?" Hiro gaped. He raised a hand to push back a few lose strands of hair from his face. "Am I hearing his right?"

Both Yuki and me glanced a befuddled Hiro. I gave a perturbed look at him as I spoke, "She's was like a kid sister. The one I never had!"

"She was just a child, yet she proved worth of being a very good house keeper!" Yuki added.

"Oh. . ." Hiro said as he raised a hand up his head. He gave a slight scratch to his head before saying, "She was a good worker and a great person to be around with. You didn't want her to get hurt!"

"Yep!" I sighed. I glanced at the clock. It was going on ten. The operation was at eleven. I asked Yuki if he needed that cup of coffee. He told me that it was tea and he was going to go home after I was in the O/R. He was too wound up to be need coffee. He was going to get a shower and a nap. The hospital was going to call after I was out.

Hiro said, "I'm staying. While you, Shuichi is in the O/R. I'll be visiting Debbie!"

"How is she?" Yuki asked.

"She's awake for a couple of minutes. Then, she goes back to sleep. They must give her something to steady her nerves!" Hiro said.

"She needs rest. They have two IV going in her! They had to reconstruct some of her female body parts!" Yuki said as bluntly as he could.

"What?" I yipped.

"That jerk. . ." Hiro snapped. We were trying to piece together what happened to her.

I could see our Debbie, a wounded shell of herself after the rape. Then, that guy forcing a knife up inside her. She must have of been in shock while he did it to her. I felt sick, like was going to throw up or something.

Yuki told us in a few words what the police thought what really happened to Debbie. Yuki looked at the both of us. He said, "She can't have babies for while. Her body is totally messed up and they have to find a special doctor for extensive reconstruction."

Hiro growled out his anger, "I hope he looses his. Debbie didn't ask for her body to be hacked up!"

"Can you guys get the nurse? I think I'm going to throw up!" I gasped. Things were getting out of hand and I needed some medicine to help soothing my nerves.

"Sure!" Yuki said.

Hiro stood up and walked over to the door. He turned to look at me once again and asked, "Can you hold it. She will be here in a minute."

I nodded. He saw a nurse who was doing her rounds. He asked her to come and help me out. I hoped to God that Debbie was going to be all right.

+++

I lay on the gurney, waiting for the nurse to give me my shot, the one that was going to knock me out. I heard another nurse and a cleaner talking down the hall. I said to myself, "I have cancer. I didn't ask for it."

A third nurse came up to the stall where my gurney was standing. I remembered being pushed into as an orderly told me to wait for a couple of minutes before they came. He pulled the curtain around the gurney for privacy. Yuki wasn't going to be there for me. Things were getting rocky for me. He needed some time to himself. I respected his wishes. Hiro was in ICU for a couple of minutes to see how Debbie was holding up.

"Mister Shindou?" the third nurse asked as she pulled back on corner of the curtain.

"Yes," I said as I lifted my head up to see that was entering the stall.

"Are you ready?" she asked as she walked over to where my IV pole was.

"I think I'm!" I nodded slightly.

"They are waiting for you. Just relax as I give you this medicine," she said as she held out syringe. She uncapped it when she raised her hand towards the VI.

Before I knew it, I felt sleepy as the last of the medicine was injected into my IV. My eyes closed quickly. I felt no more pain, no more warmth. All I can see was black. What a lovely and lonely feeling it was.

+++

I remembered the sensation of hearing very lazily coming back to my ears. I didn't want to open my eyes. I just wanted to sleep. I felt the gurney being rolled back to my room. I felt so heavy as they lifted me out off the gurney and back into bed. "Shuichi?" a male voice asked.

I groaned softly as I tried to open my eyes.

"Shuichi!" the voice repeated.

"You need anything?" a second voice asked.

"No. I'll be with him for a couple of minutes."

"Mama?" I cried softly, wondering where my mom was.

"She's here. You want to see if she can see you?" the second voice asked gently.

I groaned as I sort of nodded. I forced opened my eyes for a couple of seconds before closing them again.

In a minute, my mom was standing at my bedside. She smiled gently down at me as she said, "Hi. You had a nice nap?"

I nodded be swallowing. "Mama," I sighed.

"Your father is here too!"

I heard his voice saying, "Shuichi. You will get better soon!"

I managed to open my eyes just a little before I closed them again. I saw my father for a second while my eyes were opened. My head rolled to one side. I was starting to nod off again. My mom and dad smiled sadly as they gazed at me. I heard one other voice. It was Yuki. "He will be out of it for a while," he said softly.

"Yes. He will be resting. I want to thank you for watching over Shuichi!" my father said.

"Anytime. He hasn't been that much of a burden. My biggest concern is that he had been through everything and they didn't get all the cancer," Yuki said.

I forced my mouth to murmur, "Debbie?"

"She's sleeping. You rest, Shuichi!" Yuki sighed.

"Debbie?" my mother asked.

"She's the housekeeper. She was in a tragic event. She's here in ICU!"

"Oh," my mother said softly.

"Nice girl!" I murmured with a sad smile.

"We won't let anything bad happen to her, Shuichi!" Yuki said.

I began to breath more deeply and my body relaxed to the point of not hearing another word. Yuki told my mother and father what had happened to Debbie.

+++

I must have woken up sometime in the middle of the night. I turned my head to see Yuki with a blanket wrapped around him as he sat on a folding chair. He was fast asleep. He looked like a child while he slept. "Yuki," I whispered with a smile.

There was no response, expect for the gentle breathing coming from my lover.

I turned my head back up to see the ceiling. I could see the shadows of lights dancing up on the ceiling. It appeared like a fairie story.

I felt somewhat relieved to have my operation over. I had everything thrown at me during these past few weeks. I couldn't believe how really strong I have been through it all. I hoped for Debbie. She was very sweet and liked to be around us. It was like she never had much of a family until she came to Tokyo. She was getting used to the language, people and our customs. It was growing on her everyday. She was looking over an ad, I barely remembered of mangas and DVDs from a local shop. She told me that she liked Sailor Moon and Ah! My Goddess. She reminded me of the gentle Goddess Belldandy. Never a harsh word unless Yuki or me needed one from her. I began to sing very so softly to myself, *"Koi ni naranai ne soba ni iru dake ja. Nazo wo kakete mo donkan-na hito, dakara!"

*(From Ah! My Goddess: My Heart iidasenai, Your Heart tashikametai)

The words seemed to be playful as I could picture Debbie as Belldandy. She would have been a super Goddess. I closed my eyes for a minute and prayed to ever be listening, "Debbie is a nice girl. Would you fix her up? . .make her whole again. Please!"

Then, I let the IV medicine release my body back to the world of dreams.

+++

The days of recovering was driving me up a wall. I wasn't use to being in bed for long periods of time. Yuki came in for visits. Between Debbie, and me he had his hands full. He said as he sat at my bedside, "I have been with Debbie for a long while. She's still scared to speak."

I had the T.V. flipped off as I watched the birds on the ledge. I said, "She's on the mend?"

"Yes. Yet, she has to see many doctors and consolers to help her through the roughest part in her life," Yuki nodded with a sad look his ion his eyes.

"I think I have a solution to her problem. . .if its just a little bit of help!" I grinned. I thought of her being in need of some support.

"What?" Yuki shook his head.

"I want her to stay here, in Tyoko! She can stay with your sister!" I sighed as I stretched the only arm without an IV line in it.

"Are you, nuts?" Yuki yipped as he narrowed his eyes at him. A hint of a smirk dazzled his lips.

"She doesn't have to stay. I just want Debbie to be safe!"

"I think what you are coming up with. She will have a safe house to go after she gets out!" he asked. "Am I right!"

"Yea. . .sort of. I can focus on my recovery while not having to worry about having her in a pickle when she gets out!" I nodded slightly.

"Let me talk it over with Mika and Tohma. I think Tohma can pull some strings on finding a place for Debbie!" he said as he spied a couple of birds on the window ledge.

My heart was now at peace. Finally a safe place for Debbie, I thought. She devised a future that she didn't need to be terrified.

+++

The next day, Yuki was in Tohma's office. He sat in front of Tohma's desk as he watched as brother-in-law was talking on the phone. He didn't want to be too overly pushy when it came to a stranger's well being hanging by a mere thread.

"Merushi, sayonara!" Tohma said before hanging up the phone. Then, he turned all of his attention to Yuki. He asked with a smile, "What is it you want, Yuki-san?"

"If I told you about this girl. You will tell me that I have been over worked in my novel writing!" Yuki said in a half smile.

Tohma giggled a little as his smile grew. He said as he raised a hand to his left cheek, "Yes. Your stories are arresting."

"Merushi!" Yuki nodded. Then, his face grew a little sad. "It's about a girl. The housekeeper at cancer house that me and Shuichi was at!"

"What about her? She has a crush on Shuichi?" Tohma asked with a gleam of mischief in his eyes.

"No. If it were that, then, life would be easy. More than just simple," Yuki turned his head to look at the window.

"Oh," Tohma nodded. His hand was resting on the cheek.

Yuki sighed as he glanced at his brother-in-law. He said a little bluntly, "She was hunted down by her ex!"

"You mean. . .stalked?" The word seemed to cling to the air.

"Yes, in a way!" Yuki nodded.

"Shit, man!" Tohma said before biting his lower lip. "How in the name of the devil did he do it?"

"It wasn't easy. You can disappear if you really want to!"

"I know," Tohma said. The tips of his toes were now resting on the floor. He began to sway a little his chair. He narrowed his eyes darkly. He murmured, "She must have changed her name on order to get a passport to leave the states!"

"Maybe. She never wrote a letter and her phone calls were very rare!" Yuki said as he leaned forward in a secretive movement.

"So, basically she was ghost in the machine. Rarely leaving the house?"

"Yea. Due the germ factor, the medication that Shuichi was on left his body open for many types of germ and viruses!"

"I know. I read things about Chemo. It wrecks a person's white count in order to get to the cancer!"

"You are fast in your studying!" Yuki shook his head. He knew that Shuichi was hot in singing and Tomha was making sure that he wasn't going to loose out in the investment.

"Shuichi is our latest and brightness star. I can't afford to let him go just yet!" Tomha nodded slightly.

"That's true in a part. Getting back to Debbie. She was a hard worker and a fine cook. She knew all about cancer and the effects from the chemo on the body. So, we treated her fairly. Then, the phone calls started!" Yuki sighed. He was beginning to brood. He brushed the first call as a joke. He didn't want Shuichi in a panic whenever the phone rang. Now, he wished he would have taking things a little more serious as he reflected.
"Her old boy friend must of gotten wind to the location where Debbie was staying at!"

"She does have family. They must of ties to this old boyfriend of hers."

"Bingo!" Yuki said as he pointed to Tomha.

"I wondered if that creep knew about you and Shuichi special bond!" Tomha asked as he glanced over his brother with a skeptical eye.

"Shuichi did mention that he heard about being called a fag. He hates to be called that!"

"He maybe homosexual, yet the girls seemed to like him very much!"

Yuki smiled as he shook his head. Then, he glanced at Tomha, "Look. There were a few phones that we couldn't control. He would call up every so often and flip Shuichi off. Shuichi is a kind of a guy who doesn't like to be scared!"

"I remember," Tomha sighed. He recalled a very violent episode with the lead singer of ASK, Tachi had his guys beat up Shuichi because of Bad Luck's good luck with the fans.
"That bastard is very lucky that I didn't turn him over to the police for what he did to Shuichi!"

"Tachi hates competition. Shuichi is a young and rising star!" Yuki sighed.

"Getting back to this Debbie. So, she gets the phone calls and you couldn't call the police, right?"

"Yes."

"Damn!" Tomha said before nipping his lower lip.

"It was a direct line to the hospital. Yet, Debbie didn't want to cause friction!"

"That's a shame!"

"Debbie will need serious consulting and time to heal," Yuki said, as his voice grew cold.

"She sounds like a very shy girl!"

"More like withdrawn. Look, here is the point. I need some place for her to stay. With the police investigation and the fact that creep knows where to find Debbie makes all too dangerous for both me and Shuichi."

"I understand. I can help with finding a location for her recovery once she is out of the hostile!"

"Thank you. I was hoping you would say that!"

"I don't want anything to happen to Shuichi or you. One, Shuichi is a huge star on the edge and two, your sister will never let me hear the end of it if you got hurt in anyway!"

"When is she being released?"

"Within a week. She is still extremely weak. She will have care staff on the first fours days!"

Tomha glanced Yuki. The mention of direct care staff was going to run into some cash. He asked a very personal question, "Does she have any form of insurance?"

Yuki thought for a minute as he closed his eyes. Sighing, he said, " A little!"

"And my other question will be to the coverage. By the sound of your voice it doesn't cover things over here!"

"Very true. It was a thousand dollar policy and she got it as a child. At twenty five it stops and there is a huge clause stating about going board."

"Don't say another thing. There will be a payment when she does get out."

"Thank you!" Yuki nodded his gratitude towards his brother-in-law.

"Not a problem," Tohma smiled warmly. This first time in a long time that he was doing something good for someone else.

+++

"Yuki!" I squealed. I was walking up to the cancer house with armload of stuffed animals including pink bunnies. There was no response to my call for my lover. I tried once again, but a little louder, "YUKI!"

Yuki was coming to the door in an annoyed mood. He quickly opened the door as he stared at the young pink haired man. "You stupid fool!"

"Yuki!" I grinned his gleaming eyes clapped on to Yuki.

Yuki ran his eyes over me. He glowered, "What did you do raid the gift shop at the hospital?"

"No. . ." I giggled. He held out his arms as two or three stuffed animals dropped from his arms. They noiseless plopped to the porch. "These are from my fans. . .I mean a few!"

"I don't dare myself to ask about the rest!" Yuki said as he raised his hand to brush back a few stray hairs from his forehead. "Come on in before we're spotted!"

"Great!" I sighed.

Yuki turned with me nearly at his heels. Yuki closed the door after a minute me entrance into the foyer. I made a slow beeline to the sofa. I threw down all the animals that could fit on the sofa. I wondered about Debbie. Glancing around the living room for any signs, I said sadly, "Where is Debbie?"

"She is getting out later on today!" Yuki said with caution. He turned to look at a picture on the wall. He said, "She's very sick. I didn't have the heart to tell or Hiro that Debbie's white count went through the roof within twenty-four hours after her operation. She's not coming here. She's going to Tomha's house for a week of recovery."

"What?" I gaped. My eyes instantly filled up with tears.

"Don't start! She has a strong will to live," Yuki said. He walked over to me. Reaching over to wipe the tears from my one eye he said quietly holding on to his own pained heart, "Sweet boy, you can see when she back on her feet. I think she would like to have some of those stuffed animals!"

"Oh," I sniffed. "She would!"

"Not now. You need to rest yourself. Besides, Hiro left you some lyric sheets in the dinning room. You need to start thinking of a new song!"

All could I think have was Debbie. My mind was turning as the words were starting to mold in to shape.

The phone rang. It was Tohma calling. Yuki walked over to the phone. I followed, brushing off the lint from the stuffed animals with both hands. He picked up the phone from the table and said, "Moshimoshi."

"It's me, Eiri. . .Tohma. Debbie is here," the other voice said over the phone with a quiet tone of voice.

"Is she. . .how is Debbie holding up?" Yuki asked a little worried.

"She is in a wheel chair. . .it's only for a short time!"

My eyes grew winded as I stared at Yuki. To hear about Debbie was giving me hope.

"She will be needing the extended care that you have spoke of, yet she has a will of iron!" Tohma said.

"Shuichi is back. He can't be pinned down for too long!"

"Who brought him to the cancer house?"

"His sister!" Yuki glanced over at me. He raised a hand to brush back some hair from his ear. "I have to make dinner for me and Shuichi. Look, call me later on tonight."

"Sure. I have to check with the visiting nurse that came along with Debbie and make the situations with Debbie as smooth as possible!" Tomha said.

Then, Yuki hang up the phone. He turned to see me nearly laughing with tears in my eyes. Debbie is finally leaving the nightmare she thought she could out run. He asked, "What's wrong?" he asked.

"Nothing," I sighed. My mind was racing now with ideas. "I have to get started on my song!"

+++

The next day was glued to the living room floor with the coffee table as my workstation. I had my notebook, lyric sheets, pens and the phone all scared all over the table. Yuki was booted out of the living room while I worked on my latest creation. Yuki told me that he was going to the store to get some food and a card for Debbie. I told him that I would lock up the house after he left. I just felt safe if I did lock up the house. He left the house after he grabbed some toast and a bottle of juice. I nibbled on dried cereal from the box as I worked.

It took me a long time just to do the chorus. I glanced over it about a hundred or so times just to get it right. The phrasing was off or the wording wasn't tight enough. It was going to be a hard song as I scribed like mad on the paper in front of me.

The phone rang. I jumped a little at my spot on the floor. Letting the voice mail picking it up, I realized how late it was. Yuki was coming home soon.

It was Hiro who was calling me. He wanted to know if the song was finished. "Finished," I thought in a gasp. "Not really!"

I glared at the phone. I wish I didn't have a serious case of writer's block. I madly slapped my forehead with the palm of my hand. "Shoot!" I uttered. I glanced down at my notebook. "This is worst then, math class!"

I glared at the phone with a wild man stance. "I have to get to some inspiration!" I yelled at the phone. I grabbed for the nearest thing on the table. It was the remote for the TV. I pressed it and the TV came on. There was a girl on the beach, sunning herself. No. Flip the button. A huge Godzilla monster stomping through a tiny miniature of down town Tokyo. No. Flip to another station. News. No. . .This is getting stupid. Fourth station. A darkened séance. Moonlight slipping in to a room with a bed. No this was getting fascinating. I sat and watched as two men dressed in ruffled shirts and knee britches opened the window. The one man could have pass for Yuki. Blond and sexy. The one guy could of have been Hiro. He was glancing out the window for passersby. The blond found a young boy sleeping in a bed. The blond guy said on the TV, "I have found the child!"

"Good!" the twin of Hiro said.

"I hope he is sweet as he looks!"

My eyebrow was raised. They were either going to have sex with him or drink his blood. I watched as the blond quietly stalked the floor to the child's bed.

"He's very much asleep!" the blond snorted with delight.

"Don't be a pig and take every drop!" Hiro's double chided cattily as he raised his head a little to get a better view of the situation.

"Ah," I said to the TV. "You're the creatures of the night!"

My fingers began to fly with speed of light. I had the coolest of vids that ever came out.

+++

Weeks later, I sat in Tomha's office with Hiro and Suguru standing other either side of me. I had a neatly hand written script of the rock video. Bad Luck was going to be creatures of the night and one young lady would be our savior. Tohma was glancing over the sheet as he sat at his desk. I was smiling so hard that my jaw ached. "Well?" I asked in my goofy tone of voice. "What do you think?"

"Hmm?" Tohma asked with a careful eye. He carefully laid the paper down on the desk.

"I can't believe you all people watched a vampire movie as soon as you got out of the hospital!" Hiro whined, rolling his eyes at me.

"I was trying to get some feeling!" I gleefully grinned at Hiro.

"You are a nut!" Hiro sighed.

"It's not bad. In fact, it sounds like you got a squeal to movie that was on the other day!" Tomha shrugged.

"What?" Hiro gaped.

Moving off to the side, Suguru groaned, "Only you can have such imagination!"

Taking it as a complement, I said, "Thank you!"

"You even got a part for Ryuichi!" Tomha chuckled softly.

"I wanted to pay back the complement of him singing at our first gig!"

Hiro glanced at me as he folded his arms over his chest. He asked, "Look. . . this is a cool vid. But, why us?"

"The song feels like this vid. Something dark at the beginning. . .at the end there is dawn and the beautiful light at the end!" I shrugged.

"This is the most strangest thing I have ever been assigned to!" Suguru sighed.

I wasn't going to give up. I told Suguru what happened to Debbie and me. He was surprised to hear that I had serviced stomach cancer. Then, he was shocked to hear about Debbie. Hiro added, "Debbie is out and she in at a safe house. So, she can recover in peace."

"Then, the proceeds from the sales of the Cds will go to Debbie's medical bill?" Tohma spoke up, as he took noticed of what I said.

"Yes. I want Debbie to heal without worrying about when the next bill will be paid!"

"Fine. You want me to contact Ryuichi?"

"If you can? I have to rest. I'm still not up to speed yet with the post-op!"

"Has Yuki got the phone call about your results?" Hiro asked. He was concerned for my health.

"No. It's a week to ten days before we even get the phone call. He has been playing it cool ever since I got out."

"He doesn't want to admit that you were very frail during your cancer. He didn't want you to leave him. Because!" Tomha sighed.

"He was the most precious thing you have . . .next to your voice!" Hiro said.

"No. .We have a thing even more dear!" I smiled sadly as I thought of Debbie.

+++

Two weeks of rehearse and trying to make the cut for the video was a new rush for me. It was like riding a bike. Once you fall off, you start up again after you get up. I watched a couple other movies for different effects on the story line. I had to watch the Labyrinth to see how David Bowie's goblin king acted towards others. I wanted Ryuichi to act just a little like Jareth. Then, I watched Amadeus for some extra spice. I was going to be board with the two movies at first, yet Yuki was there to help me with the boring bits.

I found what looked to be 17th century farmhouse in the middle of nowhere. It looked like it was England or France instead of Japan. It was an hour drive from town. I fell in love with the house. Yuki was impressed about the history of the house. A businessman who had a great passion for the English county side owned the house.

I watched as the crew starting to make the house into a palace fit for a king. Hiro was strumming his Gibson. Suguru was going into wardrobe for a fitting of his suit. I sat off to the side on a pile of what looked like whicker hampers. I wasn't in costume yet. Yuki came up to me as he glanced at a note card with his lines for the video. He glanced up at me as he snipped at me, "How can you sit there and look so smug!"

"It's me," I shrugged, as I felt a little peeved at my lover's insult. "And I just going through the séance in my head!"

"Don't over to do it. You don't have enough space, Shuichi!"

"I pretend I didn't hear that!" I pouted. I turned to look away from Yuki.

"Hey . .Shuichi!" Mister K shouted as he ran up to us. He looked a little more than his usual excitement.

"What?" I asked.

"We have company!" Mister K smiled with glee.

The only thing I came up with was a studio executive. They were probably nosing around to see what have become of me in the near four to five month that I had disappeared. Mister K told me to wait for a couple of minutes. He would bring our guest up to me.

Hiro dressed in a frock coat and knee britches came up to me. He noticed Mister K darting way from me. He asked in a puzzled tone of voice, "What's up with him?"

"I don't know. He told me there is a guest. I have a little bit of a bad feeling about it!" I sighed.

Mister K came back slowly, wheeling someone in a wheel chair up to Hiro and me. He said in a quiet smile, "Here we are!"

I was stunned to see Debbie sitting in the wheel chair. Her pale, tired body was still as she sat in the wheel chair. It wasn't the same sweet gentle girl who helped with the most difficult time I had. I bent down to get Debbie's attention. I said in an easy, tender voice, "Debbie?"

There was no response from her.

I remembered what one of my health teachers told me; music can help in recovery of certain trauma cases. I began to sing in a soft tone as I tried just one time, "Debbie?"

Every so slowly, almost non moving, Debbie murmured, "Mister Shindou!"

There was no eye contact from her. Yet, I smiled as I stared into her gray eyes. "Yes. I'm very happy to see you!" I continued in the same manor as before.

Debbie was very timid as she watched the others put together the finally touches before camera was ready to start filming. "I have you to thank!" I said.

After a minute Debbie murmured loudly, "You?"

"Yes. You were a key part of putting my song writing back into perspective!"

Debbie bent her head and lowered her eyes until she saw the ground. It was hard for her to get back her life. She was brutally attacked by someone she thought she was rid of. "Aww," I cooed gently as I reached out a hand to stroke her head. "Debbie!"

She felt my hand for only a minute before recoiling in fear.

I told her that I wasn't going to hurt her. I was still her friend. Then, I removed my hand from her head. She glanced up at with large eyes. "Everything will be all right!" I smiled gently. "You are august friends."

Debbie didn't another word. I told K that I was ready to start. He took Debbie to the place where viewers were aloud to stand as me, Hiro and Suguru were going to film for the video. She did give a little bit of a glance at my costume. I already dressed in a dark green suit with a ruffed shirt. Hiro was dressed all in black. Debbie was not noticing Hiro as he took his guitar to the hampers. It seemed like Debbie was only focused on me.

Suguru came ran towards the porch. He was dressed in a fine gold and blue suit. He held out a mask in his hands. It was time to shoot the video. The director glanced at his own notes before he decided for the final time where the lighting should go. The director took his mark behind the camera. A makeup girl ran up to me and gave me a quick once over with powder, gloss and fixed my bangs with a hand. I was already fine. I wanted to look pale to show the signs of my come back from cancer. I wasn't pale enough for the director. In instant she was gone.

"Everyone . . .please. . .quiet. . .please!" the director spoke through a megaphone.

"Speed!" someone said.

A guy with clapboard ran up to point the clapboard in front of the camera. He said, "Séance one, take one of another life!"

"And action!" the director said when he pointed to Suguru.

Suguru took his stance on the steps leading up to the porch. He looked around for someone. Then, he stopped and shouted, "WHERE IS HE?"

He darted to the other side of the porch in his search. He called out, "MY PRINCE! WHERE ARE YOU?"

He glanced around as he slowly spun around. It looked like he was trying very hard in his
search. "Oh," he said in a normal voice. "He's gone!"

Then, Hiro ran to porch. He wasn't wearing a mask. His hair was combed back to give him a kingly look. He noticed Suguru standing on the porch. He asked, "What is your name and state your business!"

Hiro eyed him with awry glance.

"Please sir. . . I'm just looking for my prince. That is all!"

"He couldn't have been here. I live alone!"

"Here. This is a castle," Suguru said as he pointed to the house.

Hiro smirked as he ran a finger up to his lips.

"And cut!" the director said. "That was great!"

A bell sounded off somewhere to let the cast and crew that the séance was done. I glanced at Debbie in the crowd. She watched a little before her eyes strayed a little off to the side. She was very insecure of what was going on.

The séance was being worked on as I went over to the door. I was supposed to open the door. As I stood in the doorway I had to tell Suguru that wasn't coming with him. It was very simple and I had a few lines and just opening the door. I was little nervous, yet I wanted to look good for Debbie. I noticed Yuki walking up to Debbie. He had a box in his hands. It was a gift that him and me picked up from a local candy store. He began to talk to her. She looked up him from a minute before retreating back into her shell. She needed more therapy.

The break only lasted for five minutes. Then, another shot. This time I was suppose to be in the house. I went over to the porch. I said to Suguru and Hiro, "Look. After the shooting, why don't just the four of us go and get something to eat?"

Hiro asked, looking at me, "Which four?"

"You, me, Suguru and Debbie!"

"Why?" Suguru questioned me in his way of thinking.

"Debbie needs attention. Yet, don't go crazy trying to impress her. She's not Ayaka or Mika! We need to use caution and ease."

The three of us glanced over to see what Yuki was doing with Debbie. He was helping her with the gift-wrap. "She's very frail. That dammed baka hurt her!" I sighed.

"You mean her ex?" Suguru asked.

"Yes. She still is hurting inside. I don't what is going on with her counseling, but she has to open up sometime!" I sighed; I watched her reaction as Yuki pulled out a large glass globe from the box. Debbie smiled a little at the gift.

+++

The filming for the first day was done. Yuki asked me if I wanted to go home with him or not. I told him about the little date with Debbie. He thought it was a wonderful idea that I was going to take Debbie out for a little while to get her mind off of things.

I wore a jeans and black t-shirt to this small get together between Bad Luck and Debbie. Hiro choice a local pizza place for our date. Suguru took Debbie over after talking to her most of the day between takes.

Hiro and I were the first ones to show up. I had Suguru's cel-phone burned in my memory in case something should go wrong. The two of us sat in the bar of the restaurant.

I watched the people who were leaving or coming into the bar. Hiro was eating a bread stick as he sat across from me at the bar. He said, "How do you feel?"

"Not bad. A little sleepy," I smiled.

"That's a relief. I was hoping that you wouldn't break down on the shoot!"

"No. I went to bed early and rested up!"

Then, a reporter on one of the large over hanging TV came and on said, "Today. The pop world welcomes back Shuichi Shindou of J-pop group, Bad Luck!"

"Hey!" I squealed. "I'm on the news!"

"Get use to it!" Hiro smirked as he shook his head. "If even you are sick you still make the news!"

"I just hope they don't talk about Debbie!"

"They wouldn't," a vice said as two figures came up to the bar.

I recognized Suguru as he made his way to my chair. Yet, it took me a while to realize it was Debbie standing next to him. The long, old fashion dress nearly covered Debbie's thin body. She was very pale even in a semi-darkened room. "Debbie!" I smiled. "Hungry?"

Debbie said softy, "A little!"

"That's good!" I said before I turned my attentions to Suguru. "Did Tomha pay off the press!"

"No. Yuki told a story about finding a Jane Doe on his doorstep. That's all! The hospital staff used tight security. Wasn't it the next day you were in for your cancer?"

"Yes," I sighed as the reflected on my metal melt down, exploding onto Yuki with my rage and the struggle, which lead me to the hospital nearly twelve hours before my operation. "I don't want to go thought that again."

"It's in the past. I want to live in here and now!" Hiro said. He remembered everything that happened to us during these past three months.

Debbie asked if Yuki was with us for this date.

"No," I shrugged. "This little get together is me, Suguru, Hiro and you! Yuki has something planned for some time later this week!"

"Oh," she shyly smiled.

I had to play it coolly if Debbie could return to her old self. Hiro asked the bartender if there was any way to get a private booth. The bartend asked a passing waiter to take us to any free table for four. We followed him, passing many tables. In the dim lighting, I wasn't spotted. I was more than just grateful for that. The waiter said as we came up to a large table, "Table for four!"

"Thank!" Hiro said.

Surugu was a prefect gentleman as he pulled out a chair for Debbie to sit on. He helped her to get situated. He said as he gazed down at her, "Fine?"

"Yes!" Debbie nodded. Then, she glanced at Hiro who was dressed in a brown suit. "You look nice!"

"Thanks!" Hiro smiled back.

"You would you like to look at the menu?" the waiter asked.

"Yes, please?" I said.

The waiter had four large menus in his hands. He placed one in front of us. "I'll give you a few minutes to decide!" he bowed slightly. Then, he turned to leave.

"Boy, I'm starved!" I grinned, glancing over the listing of the various items.

"They say that the pasta dishes are great!" Surugu sighed. He was in the mood for something out of the ordinary.

"Oh," Hiro said. Then, he glanced at the meat and fish listings. "I would like to have some baked white fish!"

I turned to see Debbie glancing at the menu, then at me. I wondered if was a sign that she wanted to go home. I asked gently, "You like something special?"

"Yes. Just a little bit of noodles with the cheesy white sauce!" she blushed.

"Oh," Hiro asked. He glanced at the prices of fish.

"You like that?" Suguru asked. He noticed Debbie being very shy.

"Yes. My mama made it for me all the time, when I was down!" Debbie said.

"Sure. You can have that!" I said. Then, I noticed some sort of pasta dish that I haven't tried.

+++

The night was very much quiet. I hoped that Debbie felt safe with three guys as guardian angels.
When she walked, we surrounded her. We didn't want to lose her on the streets of Tokyo. I was on Debbie's right, Suguru was now Debbie's left and Hiro brought up the rear as we walked. Hiro noticed a shop that sold jade and other gemstones. He said, "Hey. . .what don't we go in here?"

"Oh," I smiled. Then, I turned to Debbie and said, "You never been to a gem shop?"

"Yes. . .back home!" Debbie said as she appeared in a pensive mood.

"Would you like to go in?" Hiro asked, trying to show some interest.

"Yea, it would be fun!" Suguru added his comment on this trip.

"Sure!" Debbie said.

I noticed a certain look that Debbie was giving Suguru. It was the 'I have the beginning to like you glance' coming from Debbie. She was giving it to Suguru. I know I'm not into the boy-girl thing. Yet, seeing Debbie opening up to Suguru in a positive light was good medicine for this broken girl.

Hiro walked over to the store door. I was glancing at a display window full of jewels and craved Buddha. Hiro let Debbie and Suguru enter the store. He and I stood outside to give the two a minute of getting to each other. Hiro released the door slowly as he said to me, "She is one lucky girl!"

I turned my head to say, "Yes. I have something to tell you!"

"What's that?"

"Debbie will stay here. Yuki will contact Debbie's cousins to see if she could stay here. I don't think Debbie will going back to Ohio!"

"Are you sure?"

"Yes. Since Debbie is on a one year temporary work and visa. . .she will have Japanese law protecting her!"

Then, Hiro opened the door to let me and himself enter the store. Suguru and Debbie were looking over a display of necklaces when we entered. Both Hiro and me were thinking of the same thing. Let Debbie and Suguru alone. They didn't realize, but they needed each other.

+++

The day of the premier of the video came. I showed up with my band, Bad Luck and Ryuichi's band, Nittle Grasper on Japan MTV. We were at studio five for the debut of the vid. I was excited than normal. Yuki told me for the billionth time to calm down. I couldn't. I was so happy to see my fan, the press and above all Debbie. She was getting strong each day. She sat on a special chair at studio five.

The VJ, Miss Kiki Sibuya was dressed in a flowery gown. It was setting the mood for the video. Hiro wore a plain dark blue suit. I was dressed in a gray military type uniform. Finally, Suguru was in a dark green kimono. Nittle Grasper was dressed like lords and ladies of the 18th century. I had to laugh to myself as Ryuichi yipped softly in Noriko's ear that his shirt itched.

We sat off to the side on a set of overstuffed woodened chairs.

Miss Kiki, mike in hand was standing in front of a small TV monitor. She was waiting for a crewmember from the show to give her, the sign for the last video was done and she needed to start talking about our latest vid.

I began to sallow slowly a lung full of air to keep my excitement down. I couldn't believe my luck. I was cancer free and back singing. I needed that.

"And now. . ." Miss Kiki said as she turned to face a TV camera. "For all you BAD Luck and Nittle Grasper fans out there."

I watched as the monitor began to cue up for the video.

"This is the latest in the collaboration of the two mega groups. Here's Starlight in the Forest!" Miss Kiki said as she walked sideways away from the monitor.

The intro for the video began and my heart nearly exploded in high excitement. We had worked on it for least two weeks. I hear Suguru's voice calling out. Then, I noticed him whispering to Debbie. They were talking about something. I hoped for another date between the two of them, alone.

The cords from Hiro's guitar was soul stirring as I sang, "In the moonlight, you are gone from my sight. I wondered how we drew ourselves apart like we did."

Then, the image of Ryuichi came on screen, as he spoke, "You will never see your love again."

He was dashing in his cloak. Then, the video came to a climax as I grabbed Hiro who was my manservant. He was helping me try to find my lover. Yet, we couldn't find my lover. We were two hunters on a quest as we tried to stop Ryuichi who was a vampire from taking a life. Then, the finally séance was where I took, wooden stake in hand at the main bedroom of the estate where Ryuichi was staying at. A young girl was lying on the floor. Noriko's face came into the focusing camera and pretended to be dead from Ryuichi's dirty deeds.

Then, I came up to the bed. I noticed Yuki sleeping, mouth smeared with fake blood. I sang out, "Now. . .I see you have left me. How can I win you back!"

Dawn was breaking as I fell to my knees, crying. In the foreground of the fading video, Ryuichi was laughing with a devilishly grin on his lips. A white rose brushed his lips. That was the end of the video.

Miss Kiki was a little teary eyed as she said, "That was heartbreaking!"

I let out loudly the big gasp in my life. Both Hiro and Suguru turned to look at me as I gasped again. I murmured loudly, "It's over."

"Yea," Hiro sighed.

"And now here the hard part. Trying to sell our song!" Suguru said.

All three of us were nervous!

+++Weeks had past and our song shot up to the third spot on the weekly top twenty. I had heard from by K and Hiro that the song was so hot because of the video. I was excited at my first attempt of making a script. I saw Debbie on a daily bases. She was walking slowly and carefully. The doctors told her that she was able to get around a little more each day. She said that the day she was out the wheel chair was the day that she going to dance.

Hiro had cornered Suguru in the studio one day. Suguru was in a day dreamy mode. He was forgetting things, slightly out of tune with his keyboard and was staring into space for the last two weeks. Was our Debbie casting a spell over Bad Luck's keyboard player? Suguru sat at the piano with his one finger tapping gently on a key. He had his other hand underneath his chin.

I walked into the studio for another session of laying down some tracks. I said as I noticed Suguru staring into dreamland, "What's wrong with him!"

Hiro said in a fake doctor tone, "What the patient is suffering from is a case of Puppy love flu?"

I gasped in mock horror. Then, I asked a little confused, "What's that?"

"Hmm!" he said as he placed a hand up to his chin. "Look at his eyes."

"Yea. . .they appeared to be rather blank of expression!" I said causally.

"And the way he is holding himself up on the chair. It kind of a slump like-pose!"

"He can't be that love sick. . .is he?"

"Oh, yea. It classic the way he holds himself. Look at the way he is just playing the keyboard. He has been hitting that same note for sometime now!"

"Then, what's the cure?"

"Another date or a cold shower."

To me, Hiro sounded extremely. A date with Debbie was going to prove more enjoyable instead of an icy cold shower in my option. Then, Mister Takehito buzzed in the room with a large stack of magazines in his arms. Hiro asked as he noticed the stack of magazines in our manager's arms, "What's that?"

"The latest press on your song!" Mister Takehito nearly yelled out. He was very excitable man.

"Oh," I said with my eyes fixed on the first magazine.

"Hey, daydreamer!" Hiro said as he tried to get Suguru out of his stopper.

"Is that good or bad?" I asked Mister Takehito.

"The first number one hit of the week and it's yours!" he hummed as he cross the room to the keyboard. He dumped the magazines next to an unknowing Suguru.

Poor Suguru was bolted out his dream world. He was sent crashing down to Earth in a second. He yipped as he felt the magazines sliding down on his arm. He said, "What is wrong with you?"

He was sent crashing down to Earth in a second. He yipped as he felt the magazines sliding down on his arm. He said, "What is wrong with you?"

"Uh?" Mister Takehito gasped out loud. He wondered why Suguru was so moody.

"I'm going home," Suguru said as he stood up. He very abruptly pushed the magazines out his way. His face was cold.

"What?" Mister Takehito yipped. He was becoming unstrung about at keyboard player's out burst.

"He's just not in the mood!" Hiro said, trying to come up with an excuse for Suguru's testiness.

"Look, I have some issues to face and I can't be in a crowd!" Suguru said.

"Hey, I understand," I said. I was trying to ease the tensions in the room.

"There is more to life than just hit songs and covers of dumb old magazines," Suguru sighed. He raised his hand up to brush back his bangs.

"That's right," Takehito agreed as he forced a painful smile on his lips.

"Oh, my!" Hiro and me sighed in unified disbelief. "He's growing up!"

"That's it. I'm leaving!" Suguru yipped. He rolled his eyes to glare at us.

I don't remembered what Hiro did; I froze with a goofy grin on my face. As he stood up, Suguru grabbed his jacket from an unused mike stand. He turned to his face away from is when he left. He didn't speak one last word as the door opened. He pushed himself through the door. I watched Suguru leave. I wondered if was this was for good or not.

+++

I went home after laying down some vocals for a song that was going to be on our next CD.

I stayed with Yuki like before. We moved back to the old flat. It didn't feel the same. Somehow it felt different. Things change when a person had cancer and still had to wait for five years before they say that it's in remission. Yuki was pacing the floor. He was becoming edge. He had given up smoking at the recovery house. Now, he yearned to go back. What was holding him back was the threat of his own lifestyle causing him to have cancer. He studied ever word that he could latch on to about cancer. He scared a little more than normal.

I heard the door close. It was Yuki leaving. I gave him space to be alone.

I was getting a rice and chicken dish ready. I was carefully following a cut out from a newspaper that I got on better eating. I was starting to cook a little more. I must have watched as Debbie whipping up many dishes while Yuki and I stayed at the recovery house. Yuki needed to be with his agent. He was going to be gone for a little while. I wanted to surprise him.

The phone rang. I turned down the heat so the chicken didn't burn. I went to the phone in the kitchen. I picked up it up and said, "Hello, Eiri's residence!"

"Shuichi!" a male voice nearly squealed in my ear.

My mind didn't drift or race. I could think of one person, the voice sounded like Ryuichi. I had to ring his neck. He wasn't the one to be calling me up for no reason all. "Ryuichi!" I smiled with a touch of anger in my voice.

"No! It's me Suguru!" the voice nearly sang out from the receiver.

"Uh?" I gaped. It sounded like Ryuichi instead of Suguru. I wondered what going on with him. He was upset to the point of pounding Mister Takehito into the ground after the magazine episode. Was Suguru taking something to make him hyper? This wasn't the same person. "Suguru? What's up?"

"I'm in love!" he sighed in an over acted way.

"What?" I gaped. My heart was stopping while my brain was cutting itself off from a lack of oxygen.

"Yes!"

There was a minute dead clam before I yipped, "With who?"

"Debbie is the wonderful girl in my world!" he giggled.

Then, my bodily functions went back to normal. He was in love with Debbie. This sounded like no ordinary crush. I needed have Hiro and myself sit down with lover-boy for a heart to heart talk. "I don't need to tell you that you should slow down," I warned slowly.

"Why?" he sighed for agonizing second time in a little boy voice. "I have been on my best behavior!"

"Debbie is a nice girl. I don't want her hurt!"

"Ohhh!" he gasped.

"Baka-san. She is like the kid sister that I never had."

"Shuichi. . .are you jealous?" he questioned my statement in a cool jokingly way.

"No way!" I yipped. "I'm just protecting her."

"From me?"

"Idiot! No. She was hurt once remember. Now the police had caught her ex-boyfriend and she doesn't need him coming back to finish what he had started."
"Idiot! No. She was hurt once remember. Now the police had caught her ex-boyfriend and she doesn't need him coming back to finish what he had started."

"Oh," he felt like he was shot down in a heartbeat.

I instantly apologized, "Sorry!"

"She is so nice to me. . . that all," he sighed. Now he was in a sea of mixed feelings. He wanted a girl to have as a real friend. I was just sticking my oar in where it wasn't needed.

"It's just that Debbie is under a doctor's care that all! She has been through enough."

"I know that. She has been unloading her feeling to me about this whole idea. She is a shy girl. Until now, she hasn't shaken hands or even flirted."

"Flirt. That's all you do with girls is flirt!"

"Yea. I know. This time is totally a new experience."

My voice changed a little bit hoping to sound like Debbie's big bother as I asked, "Then, did you ask her for a second date?"

"Maybe!" he winced. He was becoming shy.

"Maybe?" I sighed as I ran my fingers through my bangs. Then, I heard the rice-cooker timer going off. It meant the rice was finished. "Look, let you, me and Hiro talk this over tomorrow!"

"Why?" he sounded little impulsive.

"I just want you and Debbie to be happy that all!" I hung up the phone after I said my goodbyes to Suguru. "What to do with that boy?" I thought.

+++

It seemed like days had past before I heard from Suguru. He was still on cloud nine. I was in the studio. Hiro had to fix up some guitar lines on a track. I wanted to get a piece of my own work done. Suguru happened to drop in for just a track of keyboard. Then, go home. He was dressed in a light blue suit and tie. I was shocked while Hiro eyed him over. "What are you doing?" he asked our keyboard player.

"Going to the movies!" Suguru smiled.

My big brother mode kicked in. Suguru was going to have this talk one way or another. He was so happy that it made me look normal. "Oh, Suguru!" I said in a silly way.

"What?" he asked.

"Come over here and sit down!" I said as my waggled my finger in order to get Suguru's attention. I sat on a stool. There was an empty one on my right.

"Why?"

"Just for a reason!"

"That is your second date, right!" I nodded.

"Well, yea!" he nodded in response. He stood in front of me.

"Debbie is a sweet girl," I sighed in concern.

Suguru walked over to the empty stool. Hoping up onto it, Suguru had a stare that was one of those worry stares. He asked, "What's it that you want?"

"I just want you to be the prefect gentleman!" I warned. I felt like Suguru was playing with a fine bone china doll. If he played a little too rough with her on the second date, then Debbie would crack up from the date. I didn't want that to happen.

"I'm always the best!" he smiled cheerfully.

Both Hiro and myself glared at our keyboard player. Hiro walked over to be in front of Suguru. He was the oldest of our band. He asked in an oldest brother tone of voice "What's the movie?"

Hero!" Suguru shrugged, acting like it was now big deal. A movie was a movie.

I sighed at the mere hint of that movie, "Hero?"

"Yea so?"

"Our we going to hold her hand?" Hiro joked in a goofy grin. He was going to put his oar in too.

All this poking around was getting on Suguru's nerves. His mouth twitched a little. He needed this heart to heart talk now than if he had found out how frail his own heart was. He said, "Maybe. . .just once!"

+++

Hiro told me not to interfere after Suguru blushed so hotly that he felt the room to wash his face. He just had a feeling that Suguru wasn't going to pull anything stupid. It was a matter of trust. Yet, I wanted to make sure, he was going be to good to Debbie.

I sat at the breakfast nook at the flat, reading the newspaper. Yuki was making a pot of coffee. There was a normal air to this day. I was busy with next song and Yuki was busy with his next body of work. I had to think of a way on spying Suguru. He was going to the movies with an unseen chaperon. I was having in idea, which he was carefully viewed at a safe distance.

Yuki noticed me reading the paper. He wanted to read the paper, but he noticed me. He didn't want to make a séance if I was still reading the paper. "Shuichi?" he asked.

Without looking, I uttered, "Yea!"

"You are looking over the movies, am I right?" he asked for the second time.

"Yes. I want to see about Hero!" I shrugged.

"Oh, you are going alone?"

"Maybe. I'll ask Ryuchi if he wants to come too!"

"Him?" Yuki gasped. He nearly dropped the coffee pot. His eyes were slightly bugged out. Something was telling him that I was joking. "I don't think he's your type!"

"I'm not asking him on date, Yuki!" I whined. I threw down the papers down onto the nook. "I thought it would be cool for me and him to just to hang out, that's all!"

"What about your fans! If they found out that you and him are at the movies, them it's curtains for you both!" he winced. He remembered the fans that showed up at the hospital. They nearly camped out every night.

"I'll go in disguise," I grinned at him.

"You what?" Yuki asked as his one eyebrow shot up.

"Yep. I'll get dark glasses and a ball cap!"

Yuki felt a migraine hitting between his eyes. He raised his one hand up to the spot where it hurt. He was going to remain speechless until his head stopped hurt. That was great for me. I was going to check up on Debbie and Suguru when they were going out. The thing only thing that was holding me back was when was those two leaving for the movies. I had to find out, but from whom. Suguru wasn't going to speak to me until the date with Debbie was over. Then, it hit me, Tohma. Being cousins meant that Suguru could spill the beans on his little cousin, Suguru.
Hiro called me from his flat. He and Suguru had stopped in for a minute just to get a drink. Prefect time was on my side. I found out by my spy that Suguru was going to be at the movies with a certain Miss Debbie. I had to remain calm and level headed about this spying thing. I just don't want the whole thing back firing on me.

Yuki was staying out of this one. He told me that he didn't want anything to go wrong for both Suguru and Debbie. He was going to stay home while I went to the movies.

+++

Now it was the Friday that Suguru was taking Debbie out to see Hero. He came to Tohma's flat dressed in a blue suit and tie. He didn't want to get Debbie for their first date, so he got her a single pink lily. He noticed that when he got there, that Debbie was dressed in a plain gray dress and pearl earrings. She looked very sweet as she came up to him. "Hi," she said.

"Gashi!" he bowed in front of her. Then, he held out the gift. "This is for you!"

"What?" she asked with innocent eyes. She took the gift in her hands after she was given it. As she began to unwrap it, she said, "What is this?"

"It's something I hope you like," he said as he began to blush a little.

"Oh, Suguru!" she said as she unfolded the piece of tissue paper. "It's very pretty!"

His blush got even deeper as he watched Debbie holding up the lily. "You like it?" he asked.

"Yes. I have always wanted to have a boy give me flowers," she smiled.

"Oh," he gulped. He was so young, so innocent.

Tomha entered the room with a newspaper under his arm. He said, "Hello, Suguru. I see that you and Debbie are going out?"

Suguru felt his heart nearly exploding in his heart. He wanted to crawl underneath the rug and hide. He shook his head vigorously. Then, he said, "Yea. Let's go before we are late, Debbie!"

He darted over to take her by the hand. She wondered what had gotten into Suguru. She felt his hand grabbing at hers and pulling. She said her goodbyes as she left. Tomha just shook his head the sight. He never knew that his little cousin was terribly skittish.

+++

After a quick snack at a noodle stand, Suguru and Debbie stood in line for tickets to see Hero at the movie-plex. He was excited about being on a date with a nice girl. He wanted to hold her hand, yet Suguru was too shy to even try. I waited in the same line just a few feet back.

The wait wasn't long. I hurried to my seat in the back just even space to see the lovely young couple. Luck must of being on my side; the room that Hero was shown in was nearly empty. Suguru chose a set of seats in the third row. I noticed that he got her a plain looking soda to sip on. The doctors told her that she was going to be on strict diet for a little while. She didn't disagree on that. All she wanted to have was for the pain to go away. I hoped that Suguru helped her on that.

I sat in the back. They didn't see me. The lights began to dim as the previews of new films came on screen. Nothing too exciting. I sat as I slowly ate my mint patty. A few minutes later, the opening séance of Hero came on. There was a few lines explaining what a hero was. Then, the movie started.

+++

I stepped quietly out of the theater just to take a small break. There was a lot of fighting with swords in the film. It was getting involved between to warring factions of tribes. I wanted to finish; yet my body was growing tired. I needed a rest. I went to the restroom to wash my face. +++

The movie had ended and I was none the worst for wear. The movie was good and I watched, as Suguru was the prefect gentleman to Debbie. I wondered if they held hands or he wrapped his arm around her. I couldn't see too go. The lights came back on and the other moviegoers were standing, ready to leave.

I sat and waited. Then, boom! I was finally discovered through my dark glasses. It wasn't a fan, Debbie discovered me. She had a feeling or Yuki called her up to watch out for me.

She was going up the isle way as Suguru and her were on their way home. She told him to wait for a minute, as she wanted to see if I was real or just a look alike.

He felt to wait in the lobby. She stood near my seat. She said in her sweet voice, "Mister Shindou."

I quickly bit my lower lip and didn't speak.

"I knew it," she smiled and blushed.

I reminded quiet as she said, "Thanks. I needed a guardian angel, if things got out of hand. They didn't! But, thanks anyways!"

Then, she left me in my state.

When I got home, Yuki asked, "Was the film any good?"

"Yep!" I nodded like a baka.

"Good," Yuki asked as he went over to kitchen for a cup of tea. "Were you found out!"?

"Yep!"

"Baka!" Yuki groaned a little as he shook his head. "When are you going to learn!"

I didn't want to put my foot in my mouth for once and I went to my bed for a good night's rest.

The end!