DUNCAN GOT RUN OVER BY A REINDEER
To the tune of "Grandma got run over by a Reindeer"
By Larabeelady
Duncan got run over by a reindeer
Walking to the barge on Christmas Eve
You may think there's no such thing as Immortals
But me and the Watchers, we believe
As he was walking home that evening
Visions of Dark Quickenings in his head
He didn't look where he was going
Stepped off the curb and got mowed down by Santa's sled
The team stopped up the road after the run-in
And Santa pronounced poor Duncan dead
Then the jolly elf damn near fainted
When Duncan pulled his sword and said "I'll take your head"
Duncan got run over by a reindeer
Walking to the barge on Christmas Eve
You may think there's no such thing as Immortals
But me and the Watchers, we believe
The man gasped at Duncan's revival
And took a few hasty steps back
"I didn't realize you were Immortal
I'll give you anything you want, just don't attack"
Duncan apologized to Santa
"I didn't mean to give you such a fright
It's been a really lousy evening
And I just got finished with a fight"
Duncan got run over by a reindeer
Walking to the barge on Christmas Eve
You may think there's no such thing as Immortals
But me and the Watchers, we believe
When he got to the barge after the mishap
The roaring fire had the room all aglow
And Amanda in her teddy
Was waiting for him underneath the mistletoe
She led him over to the fireplace
And motioned him onto the comfy rug
She poured a glass of eggnog punch
And proceeded to smother Duncan in a hug
Duncan got run over by a reindeer
Walking to the barge on Christmas Eve
You may think there's no such thing as Immortals
But me and the Watchers, we believe
After relaxing by the fire
Duncan went to take a bath
What he saw upon returning
Was enough to raise even Duncan's wrath
He stalked over and pulled back the covers
And found Kenny in his bed
The kid was curled up next to Amanda
So Duncan dumped the bowl of punch on Kenny's head
Duncan got run over by a reindeer
Walking to the barge on Christmas Eve
You may think there's no such thing as Immortals
But me and the Watchers, we believe
Kenny came awake with a sputter
And Duncan slammed him up against the wall
"I've had just about enough of Immortals
That come to visit without benefit of a call"
Duncan got into Kenny's face
"I'm not sure what is your goal
But if you don't start behaving
Santa's gonna fill your stocking up with coal"
Duncan got run over by a reindeer
Walking to the barge on Christmas Eve
You may think there's no such thing as Immortals
But me and the Watchers, we believe
Kenny just laughed at Duncan
"Everyone knows that Santa's just a myth.
If you expect me to believe that,
You don't know who you're dealing with."
Duncan glared broodingly at Kenny
And said "I'll make a bet with you
If I can prove that Santa is real
You'll leave me alone and my friends, too."
Duncan got run over by a reindeer
Walking to the barge on Christmas Eve
You may think there's no such thing as Immortals
But me and the Watchers, we believe
Kenny closely studied our hero
Trying to see if it was a trick
"Do you agree?" Duncan asked him
"If Santa's real, to your promise you will stick?"
Kenny agreed and the two Immies shook on it
And Duncan called Santa on his phone
When the reindeer came in for a landing
Kenny's eyes got wide and he let out a groan
Duncan got run over by a reindeer
Walking to the barge on Christmas Eve
You many think there's no such thing as Immortals
But me and the Watchers, we believe
At Joe's bar later that evening
Methos was drinking his fourth glass of beer
He told Duncan, "I should warn you
Kenny's back in town, in case you didn't hear."
Duncan smiled smugly at Methos
"Old man, I wouldn't worry yourself,
Right now Kenny's at the North Pole
He's gonna be doing some time as Santa's elf!"
Duncan got run over by a reindeer
Walking to the barge on Christmas Eve
But as far as our Highlander was concerned
Anything was worth making Kenny leave!