Author's Note: This is my contribution to the Cloti Drabble Challenge in the month of January, courtersy of the Cloti Discord server which I love being a part of.
This is my first Cloti fanfic so forgive ang mistakes and constructive criticisms are welcome. Enjoy!
The atmosphere was calm. The bar was bustling with people chatting here and there. It was still early for people to get drunk as Seventh Heaven just opened and it was only late in the afternoon. Tifa Lockhart was busy cleaning glasses at the bar while enjoying the peaceful day. It was already a few weeks after the attack of Deepground and she was glad that all is well. Everything is normal again. At least as normal as they want it to be, she wasn't sure they were doing a great job at it because it all felt so foreign. They always have the knack to be involved with something crazy even if they didn't mean to be. It just happens. Nevertheless, she was okay with things lately as they fell in their routine once more after the attack.
Needless to say she was contented with her life, Marlene and Denzel were okay and happy and Cloud was starting to becoming one as well, albeit she knew sometimes the horrors of the past will still visit from time to time but they weren't clawing as bad as they had. The past will always be there, Tifa thought and as she was washing the last glass, a little smile appeared on her lips, but we're healing.
Like every time she had a moment to think, her thoughts were brought back to Cloud. He was undoubtedly becoming better. Coming home every after delivery and sometimes he insisted on a day off to help at the bar or spend time with their little family. The distance will come back once in a while but he made sure to let them in little by little on what was on his mind. He was trying and that's all she could have ever wished for.
What was bothering her lately though, was their relationship. Ever since he was cured of Geostigma and his guilt for the deaths of their beloved friends, they were now closer than ever. He confided in her about the demons that are still there (even if it was always a brief conversation, she knew it would take time for him to fully open up but that didn't matter because she understood him even if he says so few words.) And it's not just that, they were, say, have been making more contact lately. Not a full intimate touches, only subtle ones. Ones that may seem to not be a big deal to an onlooker and, if she were to guess, Cloud (and she was sure that they didn't even notice) yet to her, it speaks a lot of volume. She was going crazy whenever his hand would brush against her waist, her arms, her hands and her face. Sometimes they would linger on her and she can feel sparks of electricity to where his hands are making contact with her skin but it would not last long for he would always retract it back sooner than she would like. The hugs tend to last longer compared to before as well. The innocent kisses on the cheeks and forehead silently speaks of something more.
Tifa scolded herself in these moments where she would argue into her mind that it was nothing and they have been intimate before. A little voice would always say that it was not nothing, because after that night under the Highwind, they only made some sort of contact unless it's necessary. Yes, there was also a hug and some pats or some other touch with a meaning to comfort but there wasn't this unusual tension of sorts.
Or maybe she was overthinking about it. Maybe there isn't another meaning about it. Purely familial, she assured herself because even after years of living together and a year after he finally lets himself be happy again, she wasn't sure if he did have feelings for her other than platonic. She asked him once, when she thought he was sleeping but after realizing he wasn't she quickly asked if he loved Marlene just to save herself from his answer and the embarrassment. She liked to think that in some way, in just a very little way, he did. Except she didn't like dwelling at that thought because she knew she would only hurt herself more in the process. If only she could find the courage to tell him.
She shook her thoughts away and began tending the bar again after she was finished putting all the clean utensils away in their respective places, it was going to become night and that means that the bar would be busier from the flock of people coming. She needed to focus on her work.
The day went by in a blur and it was time to close the bar as well as tuck the children into their beds. After making sure that Marlene and Denzel were asleep in their shared room, Tifa went down and prepared the bar for the next day. As she was finishing up wiping the tables, she heard the door open. There were slow footsteps walking inside. Looking up, she saw Cloud and automatically greeted him with smiled. Before she could muster up her greeting, Tifa was suddenly enveloped in a pair of arms and was whispered to in her ear an "I'm home".
Pushing down the butterflies that were swirling crazily in her stomach, she hugged Cloud back and said a quiet but tender "Welcome back".
She felt Cloud shift and placed his chin on her shoulder as he unconsciously putting more weight on her. He was tired. She could sense it and as much as she wanted to stay within the comfort of his arms, she pulled away gently.
"You're tired. Would you like to eat first or go straight to bed?" She asked staring at his mako-enhanced blue eyes (she always did like staring at his eyes)and gave him a soft pat on his cheek. He let out a small yawn, "I guess I'll crash the bed". Tifa nodded and let him walk upstairs. Being tired as well, she finished cleaning quickly, glancing at the clock that says it's fifteen minutes left until midnight then proceeded to take a well needed rest but not without checking up on Cloud. Her feet walked up to his door and very carefully opened the it. Tifa poked her head at the small opening and scanned the room where she saw Cloud laying on the bed. It looked like after showering (as evident of his sleeping attire that he now wore) he was knocked out by just laying there for a few seconds.
Tifa was already closing the door to let Cloud sleep in peace when she suddenly heard incoherent murmurs followed by a loud rustling of sheets. Worried that Cloud was having a nightmare, Tifa entered his room and made her way to the side of the bed. She examined his face carefully. His brows were furrowed and he was mildly sweating.
"No. Stop walking away."
It was uttered with dread and she was sure he was having a nightmare by this point.
"Hurt. Don't.. be.. hurt."
Cloud was fidgeting now. She sat at the edge of the bed and pushed some of his hair away from his forehead.
"Coward. I'm.. a.. coward"
Her hands reached for his hand, putting it in her lap. Gently, she rubbed his knuckles with her thumb. She sensed that he was calming down. "You're not a coward." She found herself answering.
"Yes.. I.. am" A pause.
"Too..weak"
Tifa blinked, did he just.. responded?
"No, you're not. You're brave. Braver than anyone that I know. Stronger too. You experienced so many pain than most people and yet.." She let it trail off, thinking she was just blabbering when she heard him respond again.
"Yet…" It was a question. Tifa wanted to laugh, she never expected something like this from Cloud. Responding in his sleep, for a long time that they've known each other this was a new thing to discover. It was kinda cute.
"And yet even after all of that you chose to fight. You never let it consume your heart and you're still here. Never letting it outgrow your kindness."
She observed him. His breathing was slow and his furrowed brows were no more. He was looking peaceful. And he looked so, so beautiful. She guessed that he wasn't going to sleep talk anymore so she placed his hand back to his side. After she did, he spoke again.
"Tifa.. I.. don't.. deserve.. Tifa"
What? Well, that took her off guard. She badly wanted to wake him up and make him explain what was happening but she had to remind herself that while he was talking, he was still asleep. He was unconscious, surely he didn't mean anything about it. Even if she knew all of this, she can't help but to say something back.
"You do. Gaia, you do. You're just a stubborn chocobo butt… I love you don't you know that? Always have and always will. No matter how much demons you have. No matter how awkward you may be. No matter how your stupid, stupid hair looks like a chocobo."
She cursed herself, why was she always saying these things when she knows he couldn't hear it? Her thoughts were interrupted when she felt being pulled down onto the bed and the next thing she knew was that she was laying beside him. His toned chest touching her back and his arms encircling her middle.
To say she was shocked was an understatement. She tried to pull away but the grip was tight, so she gave up and just settled. It felt right to be in his arms. And soon enough she was feeling the weight of her tiredness wash her entire body. She prayed that when tomorrow morning comes she would not feel any tinge of regret in fulfilling her wants this one time.
"Cloud, do you love me?"
She caught herself asking for the second time. This time she was sure he was asleep. Didn't need to worry about him waking up. However, she was still dreading what his sleep induced answer will be. But it appears though, that he wasn't going to respond anymore, so she sighed and let sleep overtake her. Before her eyelids dropped fully, she heard a faint whisper.
"..Yes" And her eyes were shut completely.
After making sure that she was indeed asleep, Cloud opened his eyes and stared at this beautiful woman in his arms. It was true, after everything, he really thought that he didn't deserve her. That he wasn't good enough for her. And yet, she was here. She was willing to be with him flaws and all. Most important of all was that... she loves him. At that moment, Cloud swore to himself that he would never hurt this woman. That he will love her with all of his being. Because that's what she deserves. And because that's what he wanted. She is his muse. His lifeline. His light. His Tifa. And Gaia knows he would do everything to make her happy.
Cloud reminded himself to stop dilly-dalllying and start really showing Tifa what she really means to him.
"I love you too Teef. Always have. Always will."
Kissing the crown of her head, he closed his eyes and drifted off back to sleep. Telling himself that the next time both of them will say it, they would be awake. And it would be soon.