A/N: As seen on AO3. Just a one-shot that I came up with as I was working on the backstory for my first Sole Survivor. As always, I do not own Fallout 4, nor am I associated with Bethesda or ZeniMax. No profit is made from this.
Do Androids Dream?
Former Paladin Danse could not deny that he loathed himself. He was an abomination, an abhorrent machine. He was everything he had been taught to hate. And while he had been spared, and been made to see that there was more to his life than simply his own feelings, he still struggled sometimes. Because letting go of everything that defined you was a long, difficult process. And he was only at the beginning. There were still many tests ahead.
The first came in the form of a child. Red hair, hazel eyes, his mother's nose and cheek structure. Apart from the eyes, Shaun was the spitting image of Elena. And he was polite. Always had something to say to whoever had the time to pay him a little attention. And he was smart. God, was he smart. Danse was watching him tinkering at the weapon workbench in fascination. If he hadn't known any better, he'd say the kid was a genius.
But, of course, like him, Shaun was a machine. A synth. His intelligence was programmed. Everything was programmed. The thought of it made bile rise in the back of his throat.
Danse looked away from Shaun and down at his hands that rested on his knees. He had forgone the power armour for the day - it was hot. And Sanctuary Hills rarely got attacked due to the advanced defences.
"Hey mom!" Shaun's voice suddenly echoed through the settlement. Danse looked up and his heart skipped a beat. There she was. The most resilient and fiery woman in the Commonwealth. Elena was meandering up the street, black jumpsuit zipped open a bit revealing cleavage, gloves removed and armour pieces strapped only to her legs. Thrown over her shoulder was her Gauss Rifle - a weapon she picked up on a mission for the Brotherhood and refused to give up. Her red hair was tied up in the usual high ponytail, and trotting alongside her was Dogmeat. The two had been on a quick trip to Abernathy Farm.
Shaun practically threw what he was working on out of the way and stormed towards her.
"Hey kid," Elena grinned and ruffled his hair.
"Can you do something for me?" Shaun asked.
"Sure, what do you need?" Elena asked as she pinched her son's cheek. He swatted her hand away.
"I could really use an old telephone. You know, for parts. I'm working on something," Shaun leaned in and cupped his hand over his mouth, as if to whisper, "for Mr Danse. But don't tell him!"
Elena was smiling like it was Christmas. "There wasn't one in the workshop?"
Shaun shook his head.
"Okay, kid, I'll pick one up if I come across one," Elena promised and pinched his cheek again. Shaun grumbled and swatted her hand away again. Elena laughed and then turned her emerald gaze towards Danse. He would never understand how her gaze, one he was accustomed to, could still make him melt into a puddle.
"Shaun, honey, go ask Mama Murphy if her chair leg is still wobbly," Elena told her son, her gaze never leaving the former Paladin.
Shaun looked annoyed, but with the promise of a box of Dandy Boy Apples, he happily skipped away to the house Mama Murphy had named her own. Dogmeat followed him. Elena approached Danse and sat down next to him.
"I need to report to the Prydwen in a few days," Elena stated.
"I see," was Danse's curt reply. Another trip where he can't accompany her.
"Will you be okay to watch over Shaun?"
"Of course."
"Hey," Elena whispered as she reached out and entwined their fingers together. Danse tensed at the same time that sparks shot all the way from his fingertips to his spine. "Are you okay?"
"I'm fine, soldier."
Elena quirked an eyebrow at the title. Danse sighed.
"I'm fine, Elena. Just weary. Sitting still and not being able to travel much or do much is starting to get to me."
Elena looked at him with pity. "I know, I'm sorry. Look, when I get back from the Prydwen we'll go somewhere, okay? Just you, me and Shaun."
Danse hated to admit it, but that didn't sound like something he really wanted. But he couldn't tell Elena that, or even show an inkling of his inner thoughts. He knew he should want that. To spend time with her, and with Shaun. But he couldn't help it. They were synths. She was human. She deserved better than them. So instead he squeezed her fingers and silently hated himself while the warmth of her touch soothed him slightly.
Their moment of peace was interrupted, however, by Preston.
"General, I was wondering if I can have a word?"
Elena looked up at the Colonel and sighed. "Sure, Preston. Let me just..."
She wordlessly gestured towards Danse with her head. Preston frowned, and then his eyes widened in understanding. He stepped away from them and turned around to walk away and give them some space.
Elena cupped Danse's cheek and gently coaxed him to face her. She was smiling sadly. "Why don't you and Shaun do something fun while I'm away? You know, to bond?"
Danse frowned. "Like what? I'm a synth, Elena. Not a man. I'm not meant to be a father."
Elena scrunched her nose. "Stop that! Stop it with the 'I'm not human' crap. You were doing so well. Why are you so down all of a sudden?"
"I don't know," Danse admitted.
She stroked his cheek gently. "Hey, it happens. Sometimes moods creep up on us. But don't give in, okay? I'm here for you." Danse nodded. "Besides," Elena hummed, "Shaun is a synth too. Who could be a better father?"
"Still doesn't mean I know what to do with him."
"Lots of things! Swimming, modding weapons, play basketball, practice shooting - but only with a pistol! Anything really."
Some of those things sounded nice. Danse supposed he could try, for her sake.
"Okay, I'll think of something."
Elena's face lit up. "Great! Shaun will appreciate it so much. He loves you, you know."
Danse's eyes widened in surprise. "He does?"
"Of course."
Elena's smile was contagious, because Danse found himself smiling along with her.
The vertibird landed by the Red Rocket - the standard pick up location for anyone from Sanctuary Hills. Elena had insisted it be there so that the peace would not be disturbed. Danse knew it was because she did not want them to shoot him on sight. He sought shelter within a house when a vertibird came by regardless.
"I'll be back in a few days," Elena hummed as she pulled on her leg armour and zipped up her jumpsuit. Danse glanced at her from his spot in front of the window.
"Does Arthur approve of your violation of the uniform code?" Danse asked.
Elena smirked. She knew he was referring to the fact that she rarely wore a bra and never zipped up the suit completely.
"Snarkthur is too busy re-evaluating his life decisions and stupid orders that he doesn't get to pay much attention to my state of dress."
Danse rolled his eyes. "It is extremely inappropriate to address the Elder in such a manner."
"Oh, please. From my point of view, he is a boy who really needs to get laid. Maybe I should find him a girl..."
"Elena," Danse warned. She laughed and skipped over to him. He looked down at her, unimpressed, but the corners of his lips were tilted upwards. He was slightly amused. Elena grinned and wrapped her arms around his neck.
"Besides," Elena hummed. "He is family. Family tease each other. You should hear what he calls me."
"I rather not."
Elena pouted and then planted a kiss on his lips. When she pulled away she smiled warmly.
"Be good. Don't burn the house down. Or summon mirelurks. Or allow Mama Murphy to take more Jet. And tell Hancock to stop sleeping on the roof, or he'll roll off and die."
"And the world will be so much better off."
"Hey, I heard that!" a sleepy voice yelled from above them.
"Love you too, Hancock!" Elena yelled back.
Danse sighed. "Everything will be fine. Go and be the Sentinel."
He ended up taking Shaun to Abernathy Farm. It was not far from Sanctuary Hills, it was quiet and had everything they needed to 'bond' as Elena put it. They spent a few hours helping the farmers harvest some of the fruit and vegetables, something Shaun thoroughly enjoyed.
"It's just so fascinating!" he exclaimed. "In the Institute, we grew stuff, but food was always served in food packets. It was delicious, but it wasn't an actual mutfruit or anything. So this is kind of cool. Do you think mom will allow me to help Jun and Marcy with the gardens at home?"
Danse still found it bizarre how the boy could talk so fast and so much. "Uh, sure."
"Oh and the brahmin! They are amazing! How do they carry so much? Don't they get tired? And with so many heads, how do they eat?" Shaun continued to ramble. Connie Abernathy was smiling in amusement at the boy as she showed him how to properly pick a mutfruit.
After lunch, Danse decided he might allow Shaun to practice shooting for a little bit. He had pulled out Elena's old 10mm pistol for the occasion. It was the first weapon she had picked up and used after being unfrozen. She never truly modded it very much, so it was a basic weapon. Danse was confident Shaun could handle it. But to be safe, he was going to start the boy with blanks first.
Shaun was very excited at the prospect of getting to practice with a gun.
"Can I really?" he asked, wide-eyed. "Mom won't get mad will she?"
"She's the one who suggested it," Danse laughed.
Shaun looked like the cat who got the canary.
The rest of the afternoon passed, and when the sun started to fade over the horizon, Danse and Shaun sat down in front of the house to enjoy the last bit of sunshine. Shaun was tinkering again, and Danse watched. It seemed to have become a ritual between them.
"Hey, Mr Danse," Shaun suddenly broke the silence.
"Yeah?"
"Do you dream?" Shaun asked.
Danse stared at him. "Do you?"
"I think so," Shaun replied, his attention still on what he was working on. "But I sometimes wonder if my dreams are like mom's though."
Danse frowned. "What do you mean?"
Shaun looked up, his hazel eyes misty. "Well, I'm not human, right?"
Danse felt his blood run cold. Shaun's identity was not something they had discussed with the boy yet. Elena knew it would come up eventually. After all, the boy was never going to grow up, but they had hoped to avoid it for at least a few months. Danse opened his mouth and then closed it again. He honestly had no idea what to say. Shaun noticed and smiled.
"It's okay. I know I'm a synth. And I know mom wants to tell me, but doesn't know how. I don't mind. I like being a synth, because mom still loves me."
Danse could not believe it. A ten-year-old boy, wise beyond his years. A synth boy, perhaps, but still a boy.
"You're a synth too." It was a statement, not a question. Danse could only nod really slowly. "So, do you dream?"
Danse swallowed. "I guess I do. I'm pretty sure we are capable of it. But yeah, I don't know if my dreams, or yours, are like your mom's."
Shaun appeared to be in deep thought. "Are you always so sad because you are a synth?"
Danse felt his insides clench. How did they do it? How on earth did Elena and Shaun Bolton see right through him?
"Yes," he finally croaked.
"You shouldn't," Shaun hummed. "Because mom loves you too. And so do I."
The joy and equal sadness that swelled within Danse and erupted was unstoppable. He looked down to hide the tears, but the sniffles he could not do much about. Shaun pretended not to notice.
After several long minutes of silence, Shaun pulled on Danse's trousers. "Look, Mr Danse!"
In Shaun's hands was a small robot.
"Do you think mom will like it?"
Danse smiled. "Yeah, kid. I think she'll like it."