A/N: It was an old story I found lying around in my documents. This literally helped some of my writer's block shoo away. And I needed to vent write. This is from an RP that someone and I had done and let me tell you. But I like the theory of Gamzee still being in his mind, seeing himself murdering Nepeta and Equius but he couldn't do a thing. Anyways here's my long ass one shot.
"Hey there brother."
Karkat frowned as their eyes met, "Gamzee?"
A cackle left the clown, "HEH, YOU LOOK A LITTLE MOTHERFUCKING SURPRISED."
Karkat winced at the fluctuating tone his friend delivered and sat up. As he turned in the horn pile and ignored the horrible, grating honks it continuously made, he stared at him with slight concern albeit shrouded by annoyance.
"Well yeah I'm "a little motherfucking surprised". Have you seen yourself? What in the name of all that is good happened to you?"
"Now what's all that noise you be pointing towards, my punchline blooded motherfucker? CAUSE I AIN'T GOT MY PEEPS ONTO TO LOOKING AT WHAT THE FUCK IS UP WITH ME. I'm all sorts fine, just got done meeting some friends. GOT UP AND MOTHERFUCKING FRIENDLY WITH THEM."
The Cancer felt a shiver run through his spine as he heard him rant with that gravelly, dark voice with undertones of twisted mirth. He swallowed the lump and spoke up once more.
"What the fuck happened with you and these friends Gamzee? You have huge scratches across your face. And why are you acting like a complete psychopath?" He narrowed his eyes suspiciously, "Did you not get your daily dose of green think pan rotting slime today or something?"
Gamzee scowled and hissed, "Slime? AIN'T NO MORE REASON TO BE EATING ANYMORE OF THAT DISGUSTING SHIT. That mess was motherfucking poison, all rotting my think pan and keeping my true mirthful thoughts at bay."
This merely aroused an expression of curiousity from the shorter.
"What do you mean? That gross shit is basically your life juice. You wouldn't just stop eating it. To be honest, I think you need the revolting stuff because you need to relax. You're acting crazy."
Gamzee merely grinned and cackled loudly, eyes widening a tad and he tipped his head to the side.
"HAHAHAHA. Yeah I guess I'm acting some kinda crazy to my own motherfucking extent but I'm all chill with what's going on. I DON'T NEED NO MORE SLIME. Not now. OR MOTHERFUCKING EVER. you dig?"
He lifted his club to rest it on his shoulder, "I feel like I finally got some of my thoughts all gearing up in my pan and I ain't blocked off and false happy like my high motherfucking self."
"No Gamzee. I don't "dig" anything. The slimy shit may not be too good for your health, but still...well I think you need it. You're acting pretty unstable and I'm going to go with it being because you don't have any of that slime. I think you might be dangerous and by the look of those cuts on your face, I'm right...how'd you even get those?"
"HA, MAN AIN'T YOU ONE TO BE RUSHING IN ON WHAT'S LEFT TO BE ALONE?" He chuckled, "A little kitty was all up and playing hide and seek in them vents when I got to greeting Equius. SHE GOT HER MOTHERFUCKING RAGE ON AFTER I TOOK CARE OF THAT STRONG MOTHERFUCKER. Made him kneel and hehe, took his breath away. AND THEN SHE UP AND POUNCED OUT TO COME KILL A BROTHER."
Karkat's eyes widened with every sentence, his annoyed expression suddenly giving way to the once well hidden fear that was bubbling inside of him. This was all too surreal in a way to him. Gamzee was acting like his usual idiotic cheery self a few hours ago.
But now...
He was nearly monsterous. His back had straightened from its slouch, his eyes were more wider and lucid, his grin seemed harlequin and sadistic and the three cuts on his face that dripped indigo down his chin and neck gave him such intimidation and danger. The smaller's eyes wandered to the club and he held back a whimper at the sight of olive blood coating the glossy surface.
He couldn't have...No...
"But then I caught her and helped along in these sicknasty marks all up and chilling on my face," He tapped the bridge of his nose, addressing the cuts, "AND THEN HAHA! I decided to let a sis catch a motherfucking close up of my club, ain't that a generous thing? I FELT LIKE IT'S WHAT ALL NEEDED TO BE DONE."
No. He really did do it. He killed her and Equius. Oh god no no no no..!
Karkat took a few steps back, "Gamzee..did you..h-holy fuck..you actually did it. You killed them..how could you?"
The clown looked confused as to why his friend was backing away and took a step forward with an innocent look. It almost seemed as if he hadn't done a thing but anyone could know better. His friend was a murderer and he was right in front of him while he laughed about their corpses as though it was all a game to him; a corrupted game of cat and mouse to which he'd deal his 'miraculous justice' onto those he felt the need to.
"Now what the fuck ya'll meaning right now, best friend? THE LITTLE KITTYBITCH AND HER STRONG PALEBRO AIN'T GOT NO ISSUES NO MORE. Just hanging about in the dark carnival like every other motherfucker on this meteor gonna be doing soon."
The Cancer was purely afraid. He may have been usually angry and prepared to fight but this was an entirely different situation and he didn't know how to handle it. Translucent red tears were beginning to slip down his cheeks as he stared at his feet before looking back up. He had to snap him out it somehow.
This person. He wasn't Gamzee.
Not the one he'd known.
"Gamzee, you goddamn, lumbering shitsponge. You KILLED two trolls! Innocent ones if I might add. Don't you feel, oh I don't know, some remorse about it? Not even a single shred? They didn't fucking do anything and you murdered them...just because you could..."
He refused to believe the person he was speaking to was his best friend. Any trace of friendliness, gentle smiles and cheerful rants that he and the others had once been provided with had evaporated away and left him with this grinning demon. At least he considered him so. And just as that he was intent on standing his ground and not running like the other seemed to want him to do. He needed to break this wall that held back his friend and he'd take the risk of being killed if it gave him his needed result.
"No. I don't believe this. You aren't like this. This fucker standing in front of me isn't Gamzee. My friend, no, my best friend is an ignorant asshole who's knee deep in horns usually and would never hurt anyone much less slaughter people. He's laid back and gentle, not a psycho killer like you."
"OH? So now ya'll seeing me as a whole new motherfucker Karbro?"
"Don't call me that."
"HAHAHAHA. Well ain't you like to be a motherfucking funny motherfucker right the fuck now, wishing for shit that ain't all meant to be happening no more."
Gamzee's eyes narrowed as his smile grew wider, dripping with false saccharine as he leaned forward.
"YOUR FRIEND, YOUR PRECIOUS LITTLE OLD MOTHERFUCKIN' GAMZEE MAKARA. What you been knowing for so long with his dopey ass grins ain't existing no more. HE'S GONE. Gone just like the motherfucking slime from my system brother. AND EVEN IF HE BEEN LURKING AROUND, he's all deep in here and outta your reach."
He taps his temple with a slowly growing enthusiasm to destroy the person before him. He was quite glad he wasn't bound by the imbecile who once had control of his own body at the time, bearing with the insults and mockery and not embracing his highblood status. But he slipped up when he allowed his rage to show and ran off with no one around to relax him or remind him that it was all okay. It was the perfect time to merely swoop in and shove him into the deepest recesses of his mind.
In the clown's mind, there were three people.
There was GaMzEe. The one everyone knew and somewhat tolerated. Though they could grow irritated with his horn obsession and useless chatter of life, beauty and miracles, they'd rather have him than a killer. Then there was GAMZEE. The bitter one who was hidden behind the shroud of slime and shouted with deep rooted hatred of everyone and everything. Who would taunt GaMzEe with harsh words when the high began to wear off. And finally, there was gamzee. Also hidden in the shroud like his shouty counterpart. He spoke in soothing whispers that had callous intent. He'd joined along in the taunting but spoke sweetly as he reminded the happy go lucky one of what he truly was and could do.
The high Gamzee was currently in his mind, watching what was going on with desperate eyes and he held his head in his hands and begged for his control back. But they were relentless and cackled at him as Karkat spoke up once more.
"Yes he does exist. Sadly, he's trapped inside of a murderous insane beast." He shudders at the taller's twisted smile, "...I can't help him because I really don't have a bulge whiffing clue what the hell is going on and I can't save him from the depths of an alternate personality hellbent on fucking shit up."
He looked at his clenched fists and took a deep breath before meeting his eyes.
"But I can sure as hell try. He's in there, the real him. The one who wouldn't hurt a fucking wingbeast and I actually give a shit about. Who's name if I might add is being falsely worn by you. You're not Gamzee. You're just some subjugglator nonsense possessing him as he sits helplessly inside of you. Am I right?"
The sweatered male took a step forward. Determination, anger and sadness twisted in his features as he pursed his lips. Gamzee merely chuckled darkly, crossing his arms and raising a brow.
"Really? YOU THINK YOU CAN FACE A BROTHER, thinking you can free that weak little excuse of a motherfucker from my motherfucking grip yeah? I'D LIKE TO SEE YOU TRY THAT KARKAT. And then I'd like to see that precious blood all painting my walls and adding to my beautiful mural I got all planned up."
Karkat shuddered slightly but snarled defiantly, "I'll do what I have to do. If I die, I'll die knowing I at least tried to take you down."
It only made Gamzee laugh raucously and lift the club that was once perched on his shoulder. With a brief flashstep, he closed the distance between them, eliciting a gasp from Karkat but it was then replaced by a pained grunt. He bent over slightly, clutching his stomach which had been struck by the weapon. He froze when he felt it tap his head warningly. It was moved and that gave him a chance to look up and see him with a crazed look as he lifted it once more, ready to administer a blow.
"Heh, it was a motherfucking pleasure getting to know you, best friend. SWEET DREAMS MOTHERFUCKER."
Karkat closed his eyes, knowing he was done before this had even started. Gamzee gave him a chesire grin as he accepted his fate.
Oh how the motherfucking leaders had fallen so high from their pedestal, he thought.
A shake of his head was the only thing left to do as he brought the club down. But the blow never came. It stopped an inch from the Cancer's head, the hand that held it quivering violently as he gave a confused sound. He would have spoke up but a sharp pain shot through his head, making him wince and close his eyes to relieve some of the pressure. However it wasn't the case as he felt himself being pulled back forcefully into his mind. The two personalities had growled to each other as they turned to face the real owner of said body. His face was serious and angered as he strode over to them.
"well then ain't this a motherfucking surprise to be beholding."
"THE CLOWN LOOKING ALL KINDS MOTHERFUCKING MAD."
They smiled mockingly at him as the other continued to walk closer, stopping just a few inches from them. Their expressions had changed to curiosity and confusion as the normally cheery one of the three was silent. But before they could question, they felt a strong force push them away, easily knocking them off their feet.
"what the motherfuck was that?"
"SEEMS HE AIN'T TAKING WELL TO US ATTEMPTING TO KILL A BRO."
"ShUt uP YoU MoThErFuCkErS!"
The force seemed to strengthen and the two sober personalities felt their power and grip over him grow weak and flaccid. They regarded him with slight wonderment as he stood above them with a calm expression and spoke through sharp grit teeth.
"It's aBoUt tImE I ToOk tHiS HeRe tHiNkPaN Of mInE BaCk."
"hahahaha, you serious about that?"
"YOU THINK A WEAK LITTLE SHIT LIKE YOU CAN ACTUALLY MOTHERFUCKING BEAT US?"
"I'M DoInG It nOw," another step, another rush of forceful push, "AnD I'Ll bE MoThErFuCkInG DaMnEd iF I LeT Ya'lL RuLe mE AgAiN."
They frowned when they felt as though something was weighing them down and glanced at GaMzEe's eyes which held nothing but pure want. The drive to chase his demons away and save the last thread that held his ever fragile sanity intact. With quick feet, he delivered a hard kick to GAMZEE's chin. He flew off the ground and slammed hard onto the ground of their mind, feeling a bit more weaker and groaning in pain. GaMzEe immediately turned on his false sweet sober self and grabbed him by the hair. He pulled him to his face which was held in grimace.
"YoU AiN'T GoT ThE ReInS No mOrE."
He slammed his head against the other's, a resonating crack echoing through the darkness. gamzee let out a pained scream, clutching his forehead but GaMzEe wasn't done yet and lifted him up, tossing him at GAMZEE. They were both a mess of limbs and pained sounds as they looked back up at GaMzEe who crossed his arms.
"naw motherfucker, ain't no way..."
"NO MOTHERFUCKING WAY YOU CAN GET TO DOMINATING US."
"BuT I DiD. I'M ThE MoThErFuCkInG RiNgLeADeR Of tHiS CaRnIvAl aNd yA'Ll aRe oFfIcIaLlY KiCkEd oUt oF ThIs mIrTh."
The two shook their heads, voices clashing for the first time in protest. They sensed that they weren't maing it out this time and refused but they felt their power growing weak and soon they began to fade away. Back into the darkest parts of Gamzee's mind, where they'd remain permanently.
Karkat peered up when he felt no agonizing hit and furrrowed his brows at Gamzee who stood frozen with a dazed expression. Like he wasn't there. The Cancer braved it however and reached up, gently papping his friend's cheek with clear worry. Gamzee shook his head, finally breaking out of the spell he was in. His eyes were still purely lucid but was no longer filled with malice. The club he held was lowered and tossed away as he surveyed himself, frowning sadly at the blood. He didn't want to meet Karkat's eyes, couldn't bear the shame and fear that would ensue in his dark eyes. But a hand on his shoulder made him gaze into the other's eyes. And all he saw was relief, slight hints of fear and eagerness.
"Gamzee? Are you.."
"I...I'm so motherfucking sorry Karkat. I ain't meant to be all rampaging like this and doing what I did. I.."
"Shut up. I should beat the everloving fuck out of you for scaring me like that. But right now, I only want to know if you're okay."
He embraced the Capricorn in a tight, firm and warm hold. His hands went up to card through his messy locks, eliciting a small purr from the lumbering male. He hugged back soon after with a happy yet melancholy expression. He wasn't sure if he could ever redeem himself in the future for what he had done and he was sure the memories of his murder might haunt him for quite some time.
"I'm okay Karbro.."
But if there was thing he was sure of.
"I'm okay."
Those voices that tormented him for sweeps would no longer be coming back.
Not now or ever.
A/N: This may have been confusing but it was an RP that I was fond of. This was made to get me back into writing condition after being so busy with school. I think I'm good now and I hope you enjoyed the story to some degree.