A NEW LIFE:

A/N: Well people this will be an AU. The movie Thor is different in some ways and what happened in the movie Avengers does (minus evil/crazy Loki) while Thor is banished: this way he proves his worth. But Thor does also realize due his new teammates/ friends how wrong he treated Loki. Sadly he realizes his mistakes too late.

DISCLEAMER: They aren't mine I believe they belong to Marvel!

CHAPTER 1:

Young Prince Loki of Asgard sat in his bedroom, more exactly in his bed: thinking his life over. He was having what we on Middgard know as a midlife-crisis….at the age of more or less 16 to 17 if he where human, but he isn't and lived more than an eon. It's perfectly well to call it his midlife-crisis or his existence crisis: the one you prefer.

The last three or so months have passed by as a blur: Thor's supposed coronation, their trip to Juthonheim, Thor's banishment, his confrontation with the All-Father about what he saw while in Juthonheim, the disastrous way who he really was his true heritage, Odin's all to convenient Odinsleep, his own coronation as timely King of the 'Golden' realm (due Frigga's insistence). And of course that included all the boring responsibilities that came with being king. (Something that raised as second Prince he never liked, he had always dreamed of being free of those stupid things: unless Thor needed his input on something…..)

If anyone where to ask Loki how he thought about ruling the Kingdom: he would fool who ever asked him with a billion dollar smile (the one he used to hide the fear and pain) before answering that it was child play. But the truth was far from that: it was horrible one had to smile and make small talk with the nobles that he personally loathed, he would rather spend time playing with the children down town or using his magic to make the life of the commoners easier (the only Aesirs who truly appreciated him).

And of course there was his own stepping down from the thrown as soon as Odin felt he wanted his thrown back…By now the 'Asgardian' Prince was walking around in his spacious living quarters. Loki pulled a hand through his hair signing: he was really lost and decided to write his thoughts down in his journal. He sat down on his desk and picked a quill up before starting to write in his pristine penmanship.

Dear journal my only confided since childhood,

Being King is no fun at all I almost hadn't time to even take a bath or eat. I have the feeling that I have to thank that to both: Thor and Odin. The first one for royally getting himself banished and almost starting a war with the Jotun…the stupid oaf.

I'm lucky I'm the silver-tongue because if I weren't I seriously doubt that I would have able to calm them down. Now I did everything on Odin's agenda, things for which he has been taking too much time, time that wasted in Thor and his precious Asgard. Thanks to him I had the next list of things to do: Close a deal with the King of the Dwarfs so that they would keep to palace as beautiful as ever (a little difficult because they are closely related to the Dark elves), I made a good deal with the Vanir for both our realms we can now freely commercialize between the realms (I really like to spend time in Vanheim it's a wonderful place so much nature….) and last, but never less I made sure all the 4 realms (Middgard doesn't count, Asgard of course doesn't and neither do Jutonheim and the realm of the Dark elves) would allied with Asgard if there would ever come a threat from the outside.

I skipped breakfast and am probably skipping lunch at this moment under the presence that I'm feeling unwell. Not that I'm lying it's only that I'm not ill my ailing isn't physical at last not totally.

Yesterday my so called father didn't even thank me for my efforts nor acknowledged me; let's not even ask for a simple: Thank you. And 'Mother': well she only gave me a small politic smile. None had even decided to take notice that I was more or less death on my feet nor how troubled I was. Because really why should I be troubled? Oh I know maybe because I was lied to me my whole live! (I'm so disappointed that one cannot write sarcasm down). More than an eon that is.

It mustn't really matter to the All-Father because the only times he knew about my existence where those moments where I could be useful or when I had 'wronged' someone somehow: don't ask me I really never understood most of the times I was punished. And the All-Mother must have thought that her 'comforting' words about family, love and what else just after her husband had decided to take a nap must have helped me and had been enough. Because I really couldn't need a mother more than ever with everything that was happening: NO! Not at all… Because Odin and Thor come first and foremost.

Throwing the quill into the ink feeling very frustrated Loki looked around his chambers, the young Prince that had lived more than most passed a hand through his previous pristine hair making a mess out of it. He didn't know who or what he was so he took his quill again to keep writing.

I'm sitting here in my personal chambers thinking: who I truly am? What am I? What is my place in cosmos? Did they ever truly love me? So many questions swimming in my head so many that I can't even write them all down, but still so many questions and so little answers.

I'm very sure at this moment that I'm not Loki Odinson second Prince and trouble maker of Asgard. And at the same time I'm sure I'm not Loptr Laufeyson crown Prince of Jutonheim.

I'm no Odinson because Odin always made it clear to me how little I meant to him and how ashamed he was to have me as a son. 'A true warrior doesn't use siedr!' He used to tell me when I was younger and when I asked him what the Vanir where he answered: a couple of weaklings like you. Odin like many of the Aesir thinks of me like a thin weakling, but in truth I'm only lean and can break even Thor's bones if I use too much force: I probably have this strength due me being a frost giant….well a runt not that it truly matters. The only way for me to be an Odinson is if I were a carbon copy of Thor.

Thor Asgards 'Golden' Prince: the perfect Aesir (a wall of bricks that doesn't think for himself most of the time), a man that doesn't use seidr in battle (and please tell me what the use of Mjolnir is?), he who is an 'honest' opponent (yes truly because striking everyone with thunder when one is mad is exactly that), Thor who can't even make his own bed or cook a meal to save his life (seriously what do so many maidens see in the brute?), Thor who is feasted upon: on him and 'his' victories (Doesn't anyone know that if it wasn't for me and all what the Aesirs despise of me he wouldn't be alive anymore and neither would his friends?). Note to self: find a way to write sarcasm down!

I'm no Laufeyson: because really how can I be? The giant (man?) abandoned me to die! Plus from what I saw of him I don't like him much well I don't like him at all, but that is probably mutual...Not that it maters! (Most only have one Father to hate and to be hated by, but due my luck I have two!)

So this leaves me with little: who or what am I? Well: I'm the Norse god of mischief and fire (look at the irony a frost giant god of fire), intelligent, charming, handsome, talI (for an Aesir), have an overall gentle character, I'm also a strategist, a warrior (no matter what Odin says), a Prince (no matter how one looks at that one), a wizard or magician, a silver-tong and a stolen relic…. Oh aye we shall not forget a runt of a frost giant who was left to die.

Now how shall Thor react if he knew of my heritage? Wow that was a stupid question: the oalf had sworn to kill all frost giants once he became King, it wouldn't matter to him that I had been raised by his side as his brother for ages. No matter what he would probably kill me on the spot… After all the only reason he still wants me around is because: it makes him look better (because to Aesirs, well most of them, I'm like evil reincarnate), I'm useful to him and his 'little brother'. Thor never listens to my advice nor does he seek it out any longer…Long are those days gone. The only thing he does now a days is order me around (like Odin) or tell me to remind my place (also like Odin, it seems I Asgard has a mini Odin in making). As if I could forget that I'm beneath them all! Ohh let's not forget that one of Thor's favorites ways to spend time when he is bored is to humiliate me or invent absurd stories and if he isn't in the mood he makes sure the idiotic four are. What a great 'brother' do I have!

I wonder how things would have gone if I did die that night one Jothunheim, it really does sound better to die without knowing love, without loving anyone than the alternative: which I'm living. To love a small amount of people and be willing to do anything to make them smile or proud only to be shunned in return.

Aye death as an small infant one so small to not even understand what is happening to it sounds inviting and better to me….

That was the last sentence the young Prince would ever write in his journal: because at that exact moment his soul and life abandoned his body. Causing said body to go limp: the quill fell to the pristine floor leaving a trail of ink until it stopped and the Prince head fell on his desk. The forest green eyes that were said to outshine any gem in the 9 realms where dull: void of any life or the usual sparkle of mischief.

A/N: Ok I leave it here for now: please review, follow, fav…you know let me know what you think about it and I'm open to ideas.